All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E07 The Man Across the Street 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- You know, I'm doing
my Christmas shopping

the easy way.

Really, shopping's so easy when
you can do it all in one place.

I just went down to our nearest
GE telecom clock counter

because I figure a dependable
electric clock is one gift

that everyone is sure to like.

[music playing]

- And now, General Electric
telecom electric plug presents,

America's favorite family
comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring
the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

- Hello, dear.

- Oh, hi.

Have you seen the bicycle pump?

- No, I haven't.

Last time I saw it, it
was out in the garage.

- Oh, I found this football
the boys were looking

for but it needs pumping up.

Where are the boys?

- Oh, I haven't seen David.

Ricky's upstairs
doing some homework.

- Homework?

You must be kidding.

- No, he's up there
with Harry Darby.

- Harry Darby?

Who is he?

- Oh, he's the boy that just
moved in across the street.

- Oh, yeah.

I saw Mr. Darby at the
drugstore the other day.

He looked kind of standoffish.

I sort of smiled at
him, and he nodded back.

- But didn't you talk to him?

- Uh, no, I didn't.

He seemed like the kind
of man you wouldn't just

go up and talk to without
being formally introduced.

- Well, I think you should
have introduced yourself.

After all, he's
our neighbor now.

- Well, I, I know and he's
probably a very nice guy

after you get to know him,
but he seemed a little

on the stuffy side.

You know the kind
of man that knows

who all his collar buttons are.

[laughter]

- New football, huh, Pop?

- Oh, yeah, I found it
way back in the closet.

Needs to be pumped up though.

- Well, look, if you
guys gonna play football,

you better change your clothes.

- We're just going to
fool around a little, Mom.

- Well, why don't you go up
and change your clothes, Dave,

and I'll go out in the
garage and pump the ball up.

- I'll see if Ricky's
finished his homework.

- Might you'd better go
change your clothes, too?

You don't wanna get messed up.

- Oh, this is just--

Well, uh, Dave?

- Yeah?

- Uh, get my sweatshirt while
you're up there, will you?

- Where is it, Pop?

- It's right hanging
where I always hang it.

- Where's that?

- On the floor of the bathroom!

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz!

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Don't tell me you're a
candidate for the high school

football team.

- [chuckles] No, I'm just going
to toss the ball around with

the boys.

I'm getting too old
that rough stuff.

- Are you kidding?

You're never too old.

Matter of fact, that's what
I want to talk to you about.

- Oh, what's that?

- You know I'm in
charge of entertainment

for the lodge smoker
next week, and we've

got a little stunt
figured out and I think

will be right down your alley.
- Oh?

What is it?

Well, I talked to
some of the fellas

and they all remember that
thing you did last year.

You know, you and Joe Randolph
inside the imitation horse.

- Oh, that.

Oh, that was nothing.
- Are you're kidding?

It was a hit of the
show and you know it!

- Oh, I know it was darn hot
inside that horse outfit.

Oh, which reminds me, if we
do that again this year I'd

like to be the front
end of the horse.

[laughter]

- Golly, Oz, I figured it
was perfect typecasting right

where you were.

[laughter]

- Anyway, we have
something else in mind.

Now, listen to this.

At the end of each
act, and maybe

right in the middle of them,
you stroll across the stage

in a silly costume.

Baggy pants and maybe that
big red nose, and that tie

of yours that lights up!

- Oh, well--

Haha, you sure I wouldn't
look too ridiculous?

- Oz, you can never look too
ridiculous, you'll be terrific!

- Say, here's an idea.

I could get one of
those exploding cigars,

and the cigar will explode
and blow the phony nose off.

[laughter]

- That'd be terrific.

- Oh, and listen, how
about this for a finish?

My suspenders break, my
baggy pants fall down,

and I'm wearing
long red underwear.

[laughter]

- Oz, how do you
think of those things?

- Uh, the only thing,
though, where are we

going to get a suit
of long red underwear?

- Don't worry, Oz, we'll
find them on somebody.

[laughter]

- I knew the minute they
suggested this thing,

you were the man to do it.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Yeah, they all agreed.

The minute I mentioned your
name they all start laughing!

[laughter]

- I hope you mean
that as a compliment.

- Oh, yes, sure, Oz.

Every lodge ought to
have one man like you.

Just one, of course.
[laughter]

[music playing]

- Bye, Oz, I'll see you later.

- I'll try to think
of some more things.

[SINGING] There's no
business like show--

- Here's your sweatshirt, Pop.

- Oh, gee, thanks,
Dave, but I really

don't think I need it after all.

I can't hurt this old shirt.

- Is the ball blown up OK, Pop?

- Yeah, I think
it's pretty good.

- Here run out for a pass.

- No, let's play a little game.

David and I'll stay on you, Pop.

- Are you kidding me?

So you two big husky
guys'll take advantage

of a cowardly old man?

- No, two guys on offense
and one guy on defense, Pop.

- OK, let's get over here
where we got more room.

[YELLING] Here you go.
Throw us a pass.

[music playing]

- Ha!

- Hey, David, throw
me a long one.

- Hike!

- Nice catch!

Give me a long one!

- You go down along side the
house, I'll throw you a button.

Think we ought to call
it quits now, fellas?

No sense overdoing it.

- Gee, you hurt yourself, Pop?

- No, no.

Just a little stiff, that's all.

Here, uh, let me give it a kick.

- You're going to put it through
the Thornberry's window, Pop.

- Uh, no, I'll kick it
straight down the street.

Uh, just step aside
a little, Rick.

[music playing]

- See, I haven't done
any punting for years.

- You all right, Pop?

- Yeah.

- Tell ya, uh, I kicked
it with my right foot

and it was my left ankle
it curled under me.

- It was a great kick, Pop.

- Yeah, it was the beauty,
went clear across the street!

- Oh.

Yeah.

Up an at--

Oh, thanks, son.

I'm afraid I'm going to be a
little stiff tomorrow morning.

Would you mind getting
the ball, Dave?

You're a little
younger than I am.

- Why don't you get a Ricky?

You're a little
younger than I am.

Don't look now, but I
think the ball is being

delivered to us in person.

- Oh, you are so right.

- I believe this belongs to you.

- Oh!

- Thank you very much.

I'm terribly sorry.

I kicked the ball and it
went off the side of my foot.

These are my two
sons, David and Ricky.

[interposing voices]

- I think I know your son Harry.

- Oh, yes, so I understand.

Well-- Well, uh, boys, maybe
you better kick the football

around back.

- Yes sir.

Come on.

- Gee, I'm sorry to have
caused you all this trouble.

- Oh, that's quite all right.

I saw your ball come
sailing across the street.

I wasn't quite sure
what it was at first.

- Oh, well, I'm glad you saw it.

For a frightening
moment there I was

afraid it might have
struck you on the hat.

- Fortunately, it didn't.

It struck my car.

- That's a shame.

I hope it didn't do any damage.

No, no, it just bounced
off one of the fenders.

- Oh!

We should have been
playing in the street.

We usually do.

- Oh?

Tell me, Mr. Nelson, I'm rather
new in this neighborhood,

is it customary for grown
men to play football

in the streets around here?

- Oh, well, I was just giving
the boys a few pointers.

- I didn't seem to notice
any of the other gentlemen

playing, that's why I asked.

- Oh, well, I guess I play--

See, I have these two boys--

you just met them-- and
they play a lot of football,

and I kind of like
to keep my hand in.

My foot in, you might say.

As a matter of fact, I guess I
really did put my foot in it.

[chuckles]

- Yes, well, I must be going.

- Oh, well, thanks a lot for
bringing the football over.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson!

- Oh!

Hi there, Susie.

The boys are out back
playing football.

- I just wanted to
show David my new car!

- Yeah, it looks great!

- You want to go
for a ride in it?

- Oh, no thanks,
not right now, I

have to get cleaned
up for lunch.

- Were you playing
football, too?

- Yeah, I'm afraid I was.

I guess it's about time
I started acting my age.

- Mr. Nelson, how
can you say that?

I like you just the way you
are, so does everybody else.

- Well, nevertheless, I
am kind of disheveled.

- You know, some men let
themselves get old and stuffy,

but you don't.

That's what I like about you.

You know what you are?

You're the Peter Pan
of the neighborhood.

- No--
[laughter]

- Uh, thanks a lot, Susie.

Nevertheless, I think I
better fly in the house

and get cleaned up.

- OK, so long, Mr. Nelson!

- So long!

[music playing]

- Wow, are you a mess!

Looks like you lost.

- I was playing
football with the boys.

Do I have a clean shirt?
I hope.

- Well, if you don't there's
one in David's drawer.

Don't be too long now, huh?

- No.

[music playing]

- What's that?

- Well, I guess it's
Ricky's homework.

It's a composition--

"My Family".

- Oh, do you think
you ought to read it?

- Well, I think it's OK to look
it over for grammatical errors

and stuff like that.

"My family.

A little over 14
years ago, I was born.

I grew very fast because
I always ate my food

and didn't smoke cigars."

- Oh, well, I'm
glad to hear that.

- Got quite a sense of humor.

"I like to eat because my
mother is a wonderful cook,

and is very beautiful."

- Oh!

He's developing a wonderful
vocabulary, isn't he?

[laughter]

- This kind of approach is
bound to come in handy later on.

"Then there is my father.

He likes ice cream
almost as much as I do."

This is kind of personal here.

- Well, if it embarrasses
you, I'll leave.

I have to get lunch anyway.

[music playing]

- "He hardly ever bawls me
out, and is quite generous

about money matters."

- One thing about
my father, though.

I wish he was just a little more
like the man across the street.

A boy sure would be lucky
to have a father like him.

- "Man across the street?"

That's Darby.

He wants me to be like Darby?

Dignified?

- Wow, are you a mess!

Looks like you lost.

- Let's face it, I look
sloppy most of the time.

- Minute I mentioned your
name, they all start laughing.

- Just a buffoon, a clown.

- You know what you are?

You're the Peter Pan
of the neighborhood.

- Peter Pan?

At my age?

- Is it customary for
grown men to play football

in the streets around here?

- No, no, of course not.

No wonder my own son
is ashamed of me.

- I wish my father
was just a little more

like the man across the street.

A boy sure would be lucky
to have a father like him.

- Well, don't worry, son.

I'm gonna do something about it.

You're not gonna to be
ashamed of your dad.

[music playing]

[applause]

[music playing]

- Rick, will you tell your
father lunch is ready?

- David, would you tell
Dad lunch is ready?

- Hey, Pop, lunch is ready!

[music playing]

- No need to raise
your voice, son.

- How come you're
all dressed up, Pop?

- I don't consider I'm all
dressed up, as you say.

I think I'm dressed
conservatively and properly

for a luncheon.

- What's the gold chain for?

- Oh, I have your great
grandfather's watch

on the end of it.

- What time is it?

- It's, uh...

The watch doesn't
seem to be running.

Sounds like a
hairspring is broken.

- How come you're wearing
it, if it doesn't work?

- Well, I think it's
rather dignified looking.

I think it's appropriate
for a man of my age

to be wearing a watch
of this sort and chain.

- Shall we go in, boys?

I think Mother is
waiting a table.

- Mother, who?

- Well, our mother, of course.

- Oh, my goodness,
dear, what's happening?

- Well, nothing.

Seems to me the head
of the household

should be allowed to dress
in a civilized manner

without causing a
lot of undue comment.

- Oh!

Well, you look
perfectly natural,

it's just that nobody warned me.

- Of course.

- Smell nice, too.

- Oh, thank you very much.

That's my new hair tonic.

I understand it's the same kind
Calvin Coolidge used to wear.

- Well, shall we
sit down, mother?

[music playing]

- Oh, oh!

Allow me, dear.

- Oh!

Thank you.

- Allow me, deary.

- Sit down.

- I was reading in
the paper this morning

that the opera is appearing
in town all this week.

Every evening and a
matinee on Saturday.

Does that appeal to anyone?

- Not me.

- Not me.

- Not me.

- Not me.

- I just thought I'd ask.

There's more to music than
rhythm and blues, you know,

boys.

- Well, I just can't
understand those operas, Pop,

they're too heavy for me.

- Same here.

- I think you have to be in the
mood for that kind of music.

- Well, I suppose.

Would you pass me an
olive, please, mother?

- There you are, father.

- May I have the
sugar, please, brother?

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz!

- Oh, good afternoon, Thorny.

- Are you kidding?

- Am I kidding about what?

- With that outfit.

Going to a masquerade
or something?

- Look, Thorny.

You can go around looking like
you're dressed for the rag

pickers barbecue if you like,
but as far as I'm concerned

I'm going to start dressing with
a little more care and dignity

from now on.

- Now, just a minute.

You were dressed worse than
this a few minutes ago.

What's got into you
all of a sudden?

- Well, I've been doing
a little thinking.

Has it ever occurred
to you that you and I

are full grown men with families
that would like to look up

to us with a little respect?

- Well, I'm sure they do.

- Well, I'm not so sure.

Take Ricky, for instance.

I know he'd like me to
act a little differently.

- In what way?

- Well, he'd like me
to be a little more

like Mr. Darby, the man who
moved in across the street.

- Oh, I haven't met him yet.

What's he like?

- He's a very fine gentleman.

A conservative type,
obviously a solid citizen.

- Well, that's nice.

Maybe we can take him
over at the lodge smoker

and introduce him around.

- Oh, I'm glad you
mentioned that.

I'm afraid you'll have to go
on without my participating

this year.

- But, Oz, everyone's
counting on you!

- Well, maybe so,
but it's ridiculous.

A man of my age acting like a
buffoon with a big funny nose

and red flannel underwear
and my pants falling down!

What's Ricky going to think?

- Well, first you tell me what
Ricky is doing in a large stag.

- Well, he's bound
to find out about it.

I think it's about time you and
I both started acting our ages.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, hello there, Mr. Darby.

How do you do, sir?
It's a pleasure to see you.

- Well, I thought
it was about time

I stopped by and got acquainted
with my new neighbors.

- Oh, fine.

This is Mr.
Thornberry, Mr. Darby.

[interposing voices]

- Oh, forget the Mr. My friends
call me just plain Darby.

- Oh, well, I'm
Ozzie, this is Thorny.

- My friends call me
just plain sloppy.

- I was just chiding Thorny
about the way he's dressed.

- Oh, well, I think he
looks very comfortable.

- Thanks!

Hey, Oz and I were just going
to the garage for a Coke.

Care to join us?

- Well, thank you.

- Well, believe it or
not, Darby turned out

to be a pretty easy
fella to get to know,

once you got to know him.

- Well, here's mud in
your eye, gentlemen.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, here's to a
happy neighborhood.

- Here, here!

[music playing]

- And strangely
enough, he seemed

to be quite interested in
playing football with us.

- Now I'm going to
run off a little pass.

- Oh, are you kidding, Thorny?

I've got this nice
suit on and everything.

- Oh, come on Oz,
it's just a short one.

- Well, see how crazy we are?

[chuckles] Not too far, Thorny.

Almost before we realized
what was happening,

we were including him and
a little impromptu game.

- Ball or center, Oz?

- OK.

Thorny is center.

Now you're on the defensive side
and Thorny and I are offensive.

- Oh, no you're not.

[laughter]

- No, that means our
side has the ball.

- Oh!
Yes.

- Now, we're not allowed
to use our hands,

but you're allowed
to use your hands.

- Oh, now, wait a minute,
that hardly seems quite fair.

- Well, it all evens itself out
later on when you get the ball.

OK?

- All right.

- Now, Thorny passes
the ball back to me,

and then you charge
pass him and tackle me!

- Yes, all right.

- OK!

- Wait, wait, wait, let
me get my hat on right.

- All right, ready.

35, 56, 47, Hike!

[laughter]

- No, no!

No, you're allowed
to use your hands.

See, push yourself right
past him and tackle me.

It's a rough game, you know.

- Whoa!

- Maybe you better
take your hat off.

- Take my hat off?

[music playing]

- Get lost?

- Yeah.

- That was a
terrific pass, Darb!

- Well, I feel as though I
were getting the knack of it

a little better now.

Uh, sorry I threw it
so high, Oz, it sort of

went out of control!

- That was the darndest pass
I've ever seen in my life!

- No, really?

- Well, I've lived
here about 14 years,

the first time I've
ever seen anybody

throw the ball right
into the chimney.

[laughter]

- Oh, Oz!

Fellas, I'm sorry to
break up the game,

but Mrs. Darby just
phoned and she was

Mr. Darby to come right home.

- Oh, well, this is
my wife, Mr. Darby.

[interposing voices]

- Oh dear!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[laughter]

- Well, I guess I
better get going, Oz.

- OK.

- I hope we can do this
again soon, fellas.

Tthis has really been a
delightful experience.

- It has a lot of fun.

- Drop around any time, Darby.

Usually a game going on.

- Yeah, it's usually some sort
of excitement on around here.

- Well, I'll see you
later, huh, guys?

[laughter]

- He's really a nice guy.

- Yeah.
- Boy, I'm a mess.

Look at me.

- Beginning to
look normal again.

- Hope Ricky doesn't
see me like this.

- Why are you so worried
about Ricky all of a sudden?

- Uh, well, I'll
explain it to you later.

- OK, Oz, I'll see you.

- So long!

- Wow!

Look at you.

- You been playing
football, Pop?

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

- I didn't want to say anything
in front of the other men,

but you sure are a mess.

- I-- I know and I'm sorry.

Uh, Rick would you mind coming
into the living room with me,

son?

I'd like to have a
little talk with you.

Uh, pardon me.

- Oh, will you call
David and tell him dinner

will be ready in a few minutes?

- OK.

- Did I do something wrong, Pop?

- Oh, no, nothing
like that, son.

Will you sit down over
there for a minute, please?

Rick, being a father isn't the
easiest thing in the world.

You know, it's kind of
hard to believe seeing me

all disheveled like
this, but I want

you to understand
that from now on, I'm

going to do my very best to
live up to your idea of what

a real dad should be.

- Well, heck, Pop, I like
you just the way you are.

- Well, it's kind of
you to say that, son,

but I understand
just how you feel.

From now on, I'm going to do my
best to be just like Mr. Darby.

- Mr. Darby?

- Yes.

I might as well tell you
I read your composition.

One where you said
you wish your dad

was a little more like
the man across the street.

- Well, that wasn't
my composition,

that was Harry Darby.

You want to read mine?

It's called "Why I
Like Esquire Magazine."

- You mean, Harry Darby wants
his father to be like me?

- Yeah, he thinks your swell.

- Uh, Harriet?

- Dinner's ready, fellas.

- Harriet, did you hear that?

Ricky didn't write that
composition after all.

- Yes, I know.

- You know?

- Yes, I found out
about an hour ago.

Mrs. Darby phoned and asked
if her husband could come over

and play football with you.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Well, I was going to tell
you right after dinner.

I just thought it might
be nice to have one more

meal with that nice dignified
gentleman who was here

for lunch.

- A fine thing.

Oh, by the way, do we have
any red flannels around here?

We're going to put on some
entertainment at the lodge.

- Come on David, dinner's ready.

- Coming.

- Oh!

I forgot to wash up.

[music playing]

[applause]

[music playing]

- Hey, Oz!

- Hey, Darb!

Wow, boy!

Turn around, let me
get a good look at you.

Hey that's-- Where did
you get the outfit?

- Oh, belonged to
a friend of mine

who used to take
football at Harvard.

I thought I'd dress for
the game this afternoon.

- Oh!

- Thorny!

Hey, Thorny, Darb's out here,
he wants to play football!

- Please, Oz.

- Well, what the heck are--

Well, aren't you going
to play football with us?

- You ruffians may indulge in
this vulgar sport if you wish,

but as for me, I'm off to
a matinee at the opera.

[music playing]

[applause]

- Thank you.

Remember, just about everyone
on your Christmas list

will welcome a lovely
GE telecom clock.

There's a style for every
taste, every room, every budget.

- So, Christmas shop
for all, all in one

stop at your GE
telecom clock counter.

Give them all beautiful,
dependable General Electric

telecom clocks.

[music playing]

[SINGING] Every day is
a holiday with Hotpoint.

- I'm Happy Hotpoint,
here to remind you

that next week your Hotpoint
dealer will bring you

the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky!

- You ought to see the
Hotpoint all electric kitchen.

- Yeah, and laundries, too!

In color.

- Your Hotpoint dealer will
be glad to show them to you.

- Believe me, every day is
a holiday with Hotpoint.

[music playing]

[applause]

- Parley Baer was
seen as Mr. Darby.

Diane Jergens played
the part of Susie.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

This has been an ABC television
network presentation.