All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E04 An Invitation to Dinner 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- Hey, fellas, our new GE
Telechron Clocks are here!

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[music playing]

- And now, General Electric
Telechron Electric Clocks

presents America's favorite
family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring
the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

[music playing]

- What's wrong, David?

You've hardly said
a word all morning.

- Oh, it's nothing, Mom.

- Well, now, something's
bothering you.

What is it?
- No, it's nothing.

Really, Mom.

- Oh, now, David--

- Harriet, please.

You say it's nothing,
is that right, Dave?

- That's right, Pop.

- OK, if it's
nothing, it's nothing.

We'll just forget about it.

- Well, there is something, Pop.

- I kind of thought you'd
like to tell us about it.

Now, what seems to
be the trouble, son?

- Oh, it's nothing.

- Look, Dave, maybe we can
help you work out your problem.

But we can't do a thing
unless you tell us what it is.

- Well, it's kind
of silly, I guess.

Sally Hughes invited me to
this party Saturday night,

and I told her I'd come.

- Well, that sounds very nice.

- Yeah, but our bowling team
has this match against the Phi

Delts Saturday
night, so now I have

to phone her up and tell
her I can't make it.

- You think David's a dope, Pop?

- Finish your breakfast, son.

- Uh, well, Dave, what happened?

Did you forget about
the bowling match

when you accepted
Sally's invitation?

- No, sir, I remembered it.

- Well, um, let me
get this straight now.

You remembered you had a
date to bowl the Phi Delts,

and yet you still accepted
Sally's invitation

to her party?

- Yes, sir.

- Now is David a dope, Pop?

- Ricky.

And why did you accept, Dave?

- Well, gee, Mom,
she just seems so

excited about the
party and all, I

didn't have the heart
to disappoint her.

- Well, yeah, I know
how you felt, son,

but you're going to have
to tell her some time,

and now it'll be an even
bigger disappointment.

- Your dad's right, Dave.

- See, when you have something
embarrassing to tell somebody,

tell the truth
right straight off.

Or else it leads to a situation
that's even more embarrassing.

- Are they gonna have
girls at this party?

- Well, naturally.

A girl is giving the party.

- OK, OK.

I'm just trying to get
the facts of the case.

- That's another thing, Pop.

I'd feel awful silly if
I turned down the party

and then the bowling
match was called off.

- But do you think
that's possible?

- They never called one off yet.

- Oh, Ricky, what do
you know about it?

- Do you think it may
be called off, Dave?

- I don't know, there's
always a chance.

Lots of things could happen.

- Like what?

- Lots of things.

- Maybe the captain of the other
team might get the measles.

- Well, that sounds to me like
a pretty remote possibility.

- Maybe not, Pop.

Couple weeks ago,
we were supposed

to take a geometry test, and
our teacher got appendicitis.

- That's just a
rare coincidence.

I think the safest thing for
you to do, Dave, is just phone

Sally and tell her the truth.

Tell her exactly what happened.

- Maybe I could go to the party
first, and then go bowling.

- Oh, no, you couldn't
leave a party that early,

That wouldn't be very nice.

- Well, maybe I'll
think it over.

- You do just what
you want, Dave,

but you know the old
proverb: "Never put off

until tomorrow what
you can do today."

"Procrastination is
the thief of time,"

Grandma Nelson always says.

- Oh...

- Were you going
to say something?

- Yes, did you go downtown and
pay the gas bill yesterday?

You said you would.

- Oh, now, I'm glad you
mentioned that, Harriet.

See, your mother
has just illustrated

the point I'm trying to make.

She asked me to go down and
pay the gas bill yesterday.

So instead of putting
it off until tomorrow,

I'm going to go down
and pay it today.

[music playing]

[phone rings]

- Hello?

Just a second.

Mom, telephone.

- Who is it?

- Mrs. Jones.

- Oh, which Mrs. Jones?

- Which Mrs. Jones
are you, Mrs. Jones?

- Hello?

- Hello, Harriet, it's Pamela.

You haven't forgotten
you're having dinner

with us tonight, have you?

- Oh, no, Pamela, I'm
glad you called, though.

I'm not sure I know how
to get out to your house.

- Oh, well, that's why I phoned.

Do you have a pencil?

- Uh, wait a minute.

OK, go ahead.

- Well, first of all,
you come straight

out Baldwin Boulevard, and--

Oh, now, wait until I get
my directions straight,

I can never remember east
from west or north from south.

Um, now, when I'm facing the
piano, the wing chair is east.

You come toward the
davenport, that's north.

North on Baldwin Boulevard,
until you get to the corner

where Castle Road crosses.

And when you get there,
have your husband slow down.

The shop on the corner has
a hat in the window that's

just perfect for
you, you'll love it.

- Good, I could use a new hat.

And we go out Baldwin,
and turn at the cute hat.

- Mm-hmm, that's right.

You turn left and you'll
be on Castle Road.

And then you turn--

oh, let me face the piano again.

You turn to the wing
chair, that's east.

East on Castle to Oak Street,
and you can't miss Oak Street,

there's a long row of
elm trees on both sides.

And as you make the turn, you'll
notice a little dress shop

on the corner.

- Should I have Ozzie
slow down again?

- Oh, by all means, that little
taffeta dress in the window

there is out of this world.

You turn right.

- Let's see if I
got this right now.

Down Baldwin, turn left at
the hat, and then down Castle

and turn right at
the taffeta dress.

- Oh wait a minute,
Harriet, I'll give you

those directions again.

- No, no, I'm sure
I got them straight.

- But I just remembered,
I moved all the furniture

around yesterday.

[music playing]

- Hi, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

- Any sign of the bus yet?

- No, not yet.

Plenty of buses, but
all the wrong ones.

- Ah, it'll probably
be along any minute.

- Well, hello there.

How's the bowling champ?

- Oh, for goodness
sake's, look who's here.

How have you been?
- Fine, thanks.

You?

- Oh, can't complain.

Sure is nice to see you again.

- Thanks.

- Where have you been
keeping yourself lately?

- Oh, you know, around.

- Oh, you two fellas know
each other, don't you?

- No, I don't believe
I've had the pleasure.

- Oh, this is my
neighbor, Mr. Thornberry.

This is Mr. Rush-shr-shr--

- How do you do?

- How are things going?

- Oh, just fine, thanks.

How are things with you?

- Oh, oh, just fine.

You seen any of the
old gang lately?

- What old gang is that?

- Well, you know--

- Oh, you mean
the boys downtown?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, I see them
once in a while.

I ran into Dick the other day.

- Oh, swell.

Who is he?

Ah, uh, how is he?

- Oh, he's doing fine.

He says he sees
Tom occasionally.

- Oh, that's nice.

Other than that, nothing new?

- No, no, same old grind.

Well, how's the missus?

- Oh, she's fine, thanks.

- My wife's fine.

Say, you know, you
never did come over

for that fried chicken dinner.

- Well, uh, you
never invited us.

- I didn't?

Well, we'll remedy
that right now.

How about tonight?

- Oh, uh, no, not so soon.

I want to give your wife a
little chance to prepare.

- Oh, nonsense.

We have plenty of food,
the wife loves to cook.

- Well, I, I--

- Now look, no excuses.

Shall we say about, 7 o'clock?

- Oh, why don't we make
it some other night?

- Oh, nonsense.
Oh, there's my bus.

We'll see you about 7:00.

- Oh, just, uh, to
be honest with you,

I can't seem to
remember your address.

Where are you living now?

- Same old place.

We're in the phone book.

[bus departs]

- Well, Oz, it looks like you're
invited out to dinner tonight.

Seems like a nice fella, too.

- Thorny, I know you
won't believe this,

but I can't seem
to place the guy.

His face is so darn familiar,
but I can't remember his name.

- Now wait a minute,
how can that be?

You were carrying on such
a brilliant conversation

with him.

- The darnedest thing.

He mentioned something
about bowling, didn't he?

- Yeah, yeah, he did.

But he also called
you "champ," so I'm

sure he's never seen you bowl.

- I hope Harriet remembers him.

She probably will.

She's got a wonderful memory
for names, thank goodness.

- Well, if that's all you're
worried about, I know his name.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Well, you didn't ask me.

- This is the silliest thing.

I was beginning to worry
there for a minute.

Wait a minute.

Well, how did you know his name?

- You told me.

- I told you?
- Sure.

You said very distinctly,
"Mr. Thornberry, meet Mr.

Rush-shr-shr-shr."

[music playing]

- Oh, hello, dear,
you're home early.

- Yeah.

Well, I've got news for you.

We're invited out
to dinner tonight.

- Well, good for you, I
didn't think you'd remember.

As a matter of fact, I don't
think I told you about it.

- Well, of course not.

How could you tell me
about it, I just found out

about it myself about
a half hour ago,

and I was the one who
accepted the invitation.

- Oh, you mean you
met Pamela downtown?

- Pamela?

Who's Pamela?

- Pamela Jones, of the PTA.

- Well, I don't even know her.

- Well, of course you do.

You met her at the Randolph's
New Year's Eve party.

- Well now, it's funny,
I don't remember.

- Well, sure you do.

Don't you remember the tall,
beautiful red-haired girl

in the strapless evening gown?

- Oh, of course!

- Well, Pamela was
sitting right next to her.

- No wonder I don't remember it.

Well, how did she get
into the conversation?

- Well, I just told you we're
going over there for dinner

tonight.

She invited us
about two weeks ago.

- Well, uh, Harriet.

Harriet?

I think we've got one of
those little problems that

make life so interesting.

- What did you do?

- Well, I accepted
another invitation for us.

- For dinner, tonight?

- Uh, uh, yes.

- When was this?

- Well, about a
half an hour ago.

- Who was it?

- Well, you know, that fellow
we know from the bowling club.

Oh, what's his name?

- You don't know his name?

- Sure.

That is, I think I'd
know it if I heard it.

His face was very familiar.

- Well, now, let me
get this straight.

You accepted a dinner
invitation for tonight,

and you don't even
know the man's name?

- Well, frankly, Harriet,
I was counting on you.

You're always so good
at remembering names.

- What does he look like?

- Well, he's about average
height, average weight,

with a very pleasant,
average face.

Does that sound like
anybody we know?

- Sounds like everybody we know.

Where did you say
you know him from?

- Uh, from the bowling club.

I'm sure of that, because
he mentioned something

about the bowling club.

I know you know him,
Harriet, and frankly, you're

kind of a disappointment to me.

I was counting on
you, you're always

so good at that sort of thing.

- Well, I never go
to your bowling club.

- Well, well, sure you do.

You went there to
the ladies night.

You know, the big tournament.

What was that, a few weeks ago?

- That was the last 4th of July.

- I thought it was Labor Day.

- Well, maybe you can
think of it while I'm

making the sandwiches.

- What sandwiches?

- The ones you always eat
before we go out to dinner.

- Oh, well, I don't think
I'll have any tonight, thanks.

Boy, what a mess.

Here we are with two dinner
invitations, one of them

we don't even know the
names of the people.

- Are you sure you don't
want the sandwiches?

I have them practically made.

- Well, no, thanks, Harriet.

I'm so worried, I've
completely lost my appetite.

Uh, what kind of sandwiches?

- Bacon and tomato
on whole wheat

with thousand island dressing.

- Oh.

Well, as long as you've
gone to all that trouble,

I may have a sandwich or two.

Perhaps a glass of milk.

Doggone it, I don't know why I
can't think of this guy's name.

His face is so darn familiar.

- Why in the world didn't
you just tell the man

you couldn't remember his name?
There's no crime in that.

- Oh, Harriet, you can't
do a thing like that

and hurt a person's feelings.

It's like I was telling
Dave this morning,

you've got to come
right out and--

Dave's is an entirely
different case.

Come on, Harriet, I
wish you'd help me.

An average looking man,
about average height,

about average
weight, with a kind

of an average-looking face.

[music playing]

Wilson.

Peterson.

Benson.

- Hello, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hi, Susie.

- Are you worried
about something?

- Oh, no, not especially.

Simpson.

Carson.

- My grandmother says when
somebody talks to himself,

It's a sign he's got
money in the bank.

- Oh, well, that's
not the case here.

Wilkins.

- Either that, or he's crazy.

- Well, you're getting warmer.

I'm trying to think
of a man's name.

- Oh.

Have you tried
scratching your head?

- Yeah, I tried that.

Made a lot of noise in
my ears, and I got grease

all over my fingers.

In fact, I've tried every
way I've ever heard of.

I even stood on my
head in the corner,

that's supposed to help.

- Say, maybe you ought
to go see a psychiatrist,

like they do in the movies.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Those guys always work
by association of ideas,

don't they?

- I don't even know
what that means.

- Well, they try and
reconstruct the scene.

Let me see now.

I met this man in
a bowling alley.

I can only picture
the bowling alley.

I see it.

I see the bowling alley.

Now, if I can see
the man's face.

His face.
Yeah, I see it!

- Picture his face!
- His face.

- The bowling alley.
- The bowling alley.

- His face, the bowling alley.
- His face, the bowling alley.

- His face, the bowling alley.
His face, the bowling alley.

- Wait a minute, I
think I've got it.

His face, the bowling alley.
His face, the bowling alley.

- What's his name?

- Al Bowling-face!

[music playing]

- Oh for goodness
sake's, dear, you

haven't started to get dressed.

- Well, Harriet, I wish
you hadn't interrupted

my train of thought just then.

I had this guy's name right
on the tip of my tongue.

- Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I
thought you'd given up on that.

- Oh, no, I can't give up now.

Uh, Susie reminded
me of something

I'm working on right now,
the association of ideas.

- Oh.

Well, that's fine,
dear, but we promised

to be at Pamela's at 7 o'clock.

- Well, just, no, wait
a minute, Harriet.

I get dressed quickly.

Just sit down for a second
and help me work this out,

will you, please?

- Well, just for a second.

- Uh, now, I know this much.

I know the man has a very
ordinary, average name.

- Why do you say that?

- Well, because if it were
an unusual, difficult name,

I'd concentrate on
it and remember it

by association of ideas.

- Well, I don't think I'd
count on that too much.

- Well, you know it's true.

Now, you take George
Trout down the block.

Trout's a pretty
unusual name, but it's

easy to remember by the
process of association.

All you have to do is think
of "fish" and you got it.

See, whenever I see George,
I immediately think of fish,

and right away I
remember his name.

- Ozzie, I was there the day
you said "Hello, Mr. Mackerel."

- I don't remember
any such thing.

Well, I'm trying to
think of a man's name,

the least you can do is help me.

- I don't see how I
can be of any help.

You haven't given me
anything to go on.

- Well, it's not my fault.
He just happens to be about

average height,
and average weight,

sort of an
average-looking fellow.

- Well, come on, dear,
start getting dressed.

Maybe you'll think of it later.

- Well, it just
seems so darn unfair.

Somewhere in this town, there's
an average man and his wife

expecting us to dinner.

I can picture the poor
guy now, wondering

what's happened to us.

He looks over at his wife
and shrugs his shoulders.

She's a medium build,
about average height.

Does that help you any,
my description of her?

- How do you know
what she looks like?

- Oh, well, it
follows doesn't it,

that an average man
with an average name

should be married
to an average girl?

It's a shame.

They sit there in their
average little home--

- With their one
and 1/2 children?

- One and 1/2?

- Sure, that's the average
family, one and 1/2 children.

- Say, this might be a clue.

He mentioned a couple of friends
of his named Tom and Dick.

- What happened to Harry?

- Say, maybe he's Harry.

Uh, no, no.

- Come on, don't be silly.

Come on, get dressed.

- Hey, Pop, did you
hear the good news?

- Oh, uh, what good news?

- I can go to the party.

- But what about
your bowling match?

- It's been called off.

- Now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me the captain of
the other team got the measles.

- Yeah, wasn't
that swell of him?

- How about that?

- Well, come on, dear,
we don't want to be late.

- Hey, do you suppose
that's what's-his-name?

- Well, I hope it is.

Then you can just explain that
we had a previous engagement,

and make it some other time.

- Oh, well, gee, they probably
have dinner all ready.

And I'll have to tell the man
I couldn't remember his name.

Oh, that's too embarrassing.

- Well, embarrassing or not,
it's the only fair thing to do.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

Sometimes you just have to face
up to embarrassing situations.

No sense being a
coward about it.

Go ahead dear, answer the
phone, and I'll get dressed.

- I will not.

You answer it yourself.

- Well, gee, I've helped
you out of situations

like this, many times.

Hello.

Hello?

There's nobody on here.

Could have sworn I
heard the phone ring.

It's a dreadful thing.

An average man and
his average wife,

sitting, waiting somewhere.

The average food growing
cold on their average table.

[music playing]

An average man with
an average name.

Brown.

Smith.

- It's in the middle
of the next block.

- Block.

Blake.

Black.

Bleak- Bob.

Bl-- Bob.

- Slow down now, so
I can see the number.

- Huber.

Geebler?

- Oh, right up here.

- Peters.

Martin.

- Here we are.

- An average name.

Smith.

Brown.

- Don't forget their
name now, it's Jones.

- Harriet, please, I'm trying
to think of an average name.

- Isn't this a cute house?

- House.

House.

That's a pretty average name.

Bell.

Bell?

- Oh, hello,
Harriet, come on in.

- Hi, Pam, we finally made it.

You know Ozzie, don't you?

- How do you do?

- I'm sorry, I'm afraid
we're a little late.

- Oh, no, you aren't.

As a matter of fact, I
phoned you to take your time,

but I guess you'd
already started.

There's another couple
coming for dinner,

but they haven't shown up yet.

- Oh, anybody we know?

- No, I don't think so.

Some friend of my husband's, a
man he met at the bowling club.

- St-- uh, the bowling club?

I wonder if it's anybody I know.

- Oh, now this is
the ridiculous part.

My husband doesn't
even remember his name.

All he knows about
the man is that he's

average height, average weight,
and he has an average face.

Well, can you imagine
anything so silly?

- Yes, as a matter
of fact, I can.

- Come in, dear, and
meet the Nelsons.

- Jonesie!

- Nelly!

- Hello!

- I was just telling Ozzie and
Harriet a little story, Oliver.

- Oliver, say, that's a twist.

Oliver, my old friend,
I can't get over this.

- My old pal, Ozzie.

- I wasn't sure you
two knew each other.

- Well, of course
we know each other.

Why would they come
for dinner tonight?

- Well, because I invited them.

- You invited them?

Well, I invited Ozzie today.

- You invited them?

- Well, heh, uh, this is
all very easily explained,

isn't it, Harriet?

- I don't know.

Let's hear you do it.

- Uh, well, see, you
invited us for dinner.

And then when I found out that,
uh, Oliver Jones, your husband,

had invited us, uh, we
found out that, but--

well, boy, we laughed.

- You mean Ozzie's the man whose
name you couldn't remember?

- What's this?

- Now, why'd you have to
give me away like that, Pam?

All right, to tell
you the truth,

Ozzie, I couldn't
remember your name.

And it was so embarrassing,
too, because you

remembered my name so well.

- Yeah.

- Even introduced me to your
neighbor, Mr. Rush-shr-shr.

- I wondered whether
you recognized me.

- Well, I recognized
you, of course.

But I just couldn't
place the name.

I hope you weren't offended.

- Oh, no, of course not.

Those things happen
all the time.

Some of us remember names,
and some of you don't.

- Sit down.
- Oh, thanks.

- Here, let me take your coat.

Poor Oliver, he's always
forgetting people's names.

I bet Ozzie never does that.
Does he, Harriet?

- Oh, no, no.

Ozzie has a wonderful memory.

Um, what was the
name of that dress

shop we saw coming over here?

- Uh, uh, a dress shop?

- Um, Marshall's.

Wasn't that the name?

- Oh, yes, Marshall's.

- And remember that
dress in the window?

You said you were
going to buy it for me.

- I did?

- You should remember?

- I guess if I
don't, I'd better.

This is blackmail.

- And a darling
antelope bag that

was just made for that dress.

- Uh, yes dear,
I remember saying

you could have that, too.

- I put your coat
out here, Harriet.

- Oh, thanks, Pam.
Can I help you?

- Sure, if you want to.

- Your wife is very
attractive, Ozzie.

- Oh, well, thank you very much.

- Did she come from
around here originally?

- Uh, no, she comes from a very
well-known Midwestern family.

You've probably heard of them.

The James boys, Jesse James
and his brother, Frank.

[music playing]

Aren't you ashamed of yourself,
telling all those fibs tonight?

- I only told that
one little one.

- You told two.

One about the dress and the
one about the antelope bag.

- Oh, those.

I was figuring you'd
bail me out on those.

You see, if you really did
buy me the dress and bag,

then I was telling the
truth retroactively.

Is that the right word?

- Ha, it seems to
be doing the job.

What fib did you have in mind?

- The one where I said
you never forget names.

- Well, I don't usually.

- Oh, Ozzie.

There's one girlfriend of mine
you've known for five years.

Part of the time you call her
Judy, and the rest of the time

you call her Julie.

- Well, what is her name?

- Mary Peterson.

[music playing]

- Thank you.

Harriet and I just
want to remind you

to stay on time, all the time.

And wake up for
sure every morning.

- Never worry about
winding the clock.

Get electric clocks
for your home.

- Get dependable General
Electric Telechron Electric

Clocks.

- Every day is a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- I'm Happy Hotpoint,
here to remind you

that next week,
your Hotpoint dealer

will bring you the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

- You ought to see the
Hotpoint all-electric kitchens.

- Yeah, and laundries,
too, in color.

- Your Hotpoint dealer will
be glad to show them to you.

- Believe me, every day is
a holiday with Hotpoint.

[music playing]

- King Donovan was
seen as Oliver.

Barbara Eiler played
the part of Pamela.

Diane Jergens was Susie.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

This has been an ABC Television
Network presentation.