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1
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:25,851
I don't know, Alex.
2
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,353
I think I should be doing
something better with my life.
3
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,400
You know, I've been thinking
about going to college.
4
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,956
Really?
5
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,304
Hey, that's great, Tony,
i'm glad to hear you talk like that.
6
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,261
I only wish I knew
how to go about it.
7
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,297
Well, you find a college,
you get an application,
8
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,542
you make it out and send it in.
9
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,366
Yeah, boy,
10
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,168
nothing worthwhile comes
easy, does it?
11
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,484
Come on, let's get out of
here, let's settle up.
12
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,751
What does this come to?
Well, let's see,
13
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,675
we had two pitchers of
beer at 3.65 a pitcher.
14
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,711
Uh-huh.
15
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,713
Oh.
16
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:59,083
Uh... 3.65, three-sixty...
thank you.
17
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:06,658
Uh...
three-sixty-five times two,
18
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,060
carry the seven.
19
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,295
Um, they don't ask
this kind of stuff
20
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,264
on college applications,
do they?
21
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,400
Tony,
22
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,403
you're making this
far too difficult.
23
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,406
There's a simple and easy way
24
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,408
to figure this out.
25
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,410
Tommy?
26
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,644
What do we owe you?
27
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,446
Seven dollars and thirty cents.
28
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,884
Sure, you went to college.
29
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,786
Thanks. Hey, guys.
30
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:35,921
Hey, Elaine.
31
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,756
Well, I finally did it.
32
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,758
I made an appointment
with my psychiatrist
33
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,760
for this afternoon for latka.
34
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,762
Psychiatrist? Mm-hmm.
35
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,797
You don't think it's really
that serious, do you?
36
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,131
Serious?
37
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,867
Come on, the man changes
personalities every day.
38
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,803
I know, but he's
harmless, isn't he?
39
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,937
Yeah, besides,
40
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,806
one of his personalities
is a friend of mine.
41
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,808
And another one
owes me 50 bucks.
42
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,445
Guys, I think latka
should see Dr. Jeffries.
43
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,314
Come on,
no one can help him but us.
44
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,983
What time are we leaving?
45
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,718
Elaine,
it's a phone call for you.
46
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,052
It's your babysitter.
47
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,198
Oh, okay.
Tommy: Take it in the back.
48
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,823
Wait, what...?
As soon as I finish this.
49
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,126
Come on, Alex,
maybe this guy can help latka.
50
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,193
Aw. Come on,
51
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,761
don't you believe
in psychiatrists?
52
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:19,231
Tony, I really don't have any
opinion about psychiatrists,
53
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:20,732
because I've never been to one.
54
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,235
I've never really felt
I had to go to one.
55
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,070
I believe you can get through
life by common sense, coping,
56
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,840
and taking 30 showers a day.
57
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,508
Oh, you know something?
58
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,087
Those children of mine
are gonna kill each other
59
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,378
one of these days.
60
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,882
Jason put Jennifer's pokey
doll in the microwave.
61
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,517
Oh.
62
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,184
Oh. And she found it.
63
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,354
Now she's got to live
with that nightmare.
64
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,124
Elaine, I don't want to seem
unsympathetic to your problems,
65
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,993
but don't we have to
get to an appointment?
66
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,995
Oh, oh, Alex, about that, uh,
67
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,830
I promised Jennifer I'd go home.
68
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,000
Hmm? Pokey's funeral
is this afternoon.
69
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,334
Elaine!
70
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,236
You're kidding...
You're indulging that kid!
71
00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,939
Pokey is a... was Alex, was.
72
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:02,107
Forgive me.
73
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,343
Pokey was a rubber toy.
74
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:08,347
With feelings and emotions
like any other rubber toy.
75
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,816
What am I saying?
76
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,050
Look, why don't I
77
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,552
just give you
Dr. Jeffries's address,
78
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,797
and then you can...
No, no wait, Elaine,
79
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,432
I just promised...
come on, Alex, come on, do this.
80
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,890
Do this favor and I'll
owe you a big favor.
81
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,425
I'll see you. Bye, Tony. Oh...
82
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:23,428
Now I'm stuck with this thing.
83
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,631
I have to take latka
to a psychiatrist.
84
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,400
So he hasn't been acting like
himself lately... big deal.
85
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,235
Big deal.
86
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,770
All right, I'll take him.
87
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,740
I'm telling you Tony,
Elaine is making much too much of this.
88
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,144
Are you finished, Arlo?
89
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,146
Finished?
90
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,148
Uh, partner, I'm as finished
91
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,650
as a white suit on a sissy
92
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,619
who's been wrestling a
half-breed in pig slop.
93
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,526
On the other hand,
Elaine may have a point there.
94
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,677
Congratulate me.
95
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,646
This is my last cigarette.
96
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,318
Is, uh, toward you masculine
97
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,320
and away from me feminine?
98
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,155
I can never remember.
99
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,124
Mmm.
100
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,662
Would you like to
know how I quit?
101
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,598
Why?
102
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,467
I just said to myself,
103
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,469
I'm gonna do it all today.
104
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,304
You know, the first day
105
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,307
of the rest of your
life kind of thing.
106
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,477
From now on,
it's no more cigarettes,
107
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,480
no more promiscuity.
108
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:53,151
No more Doris Marie winslow
giving her phone number
109
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,421
when it's listed anyway.
110
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,431
You know I don't miss it.
111
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,401
I thought this was
gonna be tough.
112
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,638
My taste buds are returning.
113
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,607
I admire your willpower.
114
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,011
Hello?
115
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,746
Where am I?
116
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,715
What... why am I dressed
like the poop-kicker?
117
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,054
Latka, is that you?
118
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,588
Of course it is.
119
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,524
Dr. Jeffries will be
ready for you in a minute.
120
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,025
Thank you. Dr. Jeffries?
121
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,159
Is somebody sick?
122
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,394
He's a psychiatrist.
123
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:37,996
Uh, remember,
we made an appointment?
124
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,231
Oh,
why do I need a psychiatrist?
125
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,900
Well, for, uh, for openers,
126
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,902
there's this split
personality thing.
127
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,404
Oh, no, no,
that was just a joke.
128
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,072
Joke? Joke, yeah, take a joke.
129
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,347
You mean you were just kidding?
130
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,942
Yeah, just telling a joke.
Oh, really?
131
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,944
Yeah. Uh-huh.
132
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,613
You mean, you latka,
were just pretending to be Arlo?
133
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,448
Only pretend, yes. Oh, really.
134
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,950
Why don't you just show me?
135
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,196
Show you?
Yeah, prove it, please.
136
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,453
Prove it? Yeah.
137
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,121
Okay. Go ahead, right now.
138
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,090
Prove it to you? Yeah.
139
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,037
All right, buckaroo.
140
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:25,110
There is not room
enough in this town
141
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:29,114
for the-the-the...
The both of us.
142
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,116
There is no room.
143
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,319
Wait, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
144
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,322
This gets better.
145
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,791
We both-both going to have
to go to the other town.
146
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,294
No, latka, no.
147
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,562
No good? No.
148
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,730
Come on, latka.
149
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,331
All right.
150
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,934
Dr. Jeffries will see you now.
151
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,268
Thank you. Oh, no,
152
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,403
he will see my dust.
153
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,672
No, no, no, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
154
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:57,175
Look, Elaine thinks this is
important, and maybe it is.
155
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,511
Latka,
there's nothing to be afraid of.
156
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,246
I mean,
you-you have a stomachache,
157
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,814
you go to a doctor, right? Yeah.
158
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,816
You have a toothache,
you go to a dentist.
159
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,319
You have primary and
secondary ego diffusion,
160
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,120
you go to a psychiatrist.
161
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,955
Look, latka,
you're here right now, okay?
162
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,289
Just-just talk to the man.
163
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,625
All right.
164
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,493
You know,
I'm glad you are my friend, Alex.
165
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:16,968
I'm glad you are here with me.
Latka,
166
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,629
there's nothing I
wouldn't do for you.
167
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,665
Oh, good!
168
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,132
Then I'm going to need someone
169
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,101
to cut these pants off.
170
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,552
And I-I have never felt
so emotional in my life.
171
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:46,458
I cry and I cry every
time I think about them.
172
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,460
Latka, I think we were all moved
173
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:52,464
when prince Charles
kissed lady di,
174
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,633
but, uh, perhaps we ought
to, you know,
175
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,868
take this time to
talk about you.
176
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,372
Oh no, go on,
177
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,007
I don't want to
seem like a bore.
178
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,407
No, no, no, no.
179
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,244
No, i'd-I'd just... I'd be...
180
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,912
I'd be fascinated.
181
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,047
Why don't you tell me
182
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,583
what it was like growing
up in your country?
183
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:15,587
Well, it was...
it was a full childhood.
184
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,589
We had... we had the wood,
185
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:20,558
we had the bucket,
we had the chair.
186
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,795
Then when I was eight,
my father got a raise,
187
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,198
so we moved some place indoors.
188
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,671
Boy, I'm glad I got
that off my chest.
189
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,640
You're good.
190
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,046
Were you happy as a child?
191
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,614
What's not to be happy?
192
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:46,284
We had the wood, we had the
bucket, we had the chair,
193
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,052
and we had the mother
who forced me to...
194
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,720
Oh, hello!
195
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,556
This might be something.
196
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,624
Yes, latka, yes, go on.
197
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,627
Oh, no, no, it is nothing.
198
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,994
This is okay, latka.
199
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,364
If you don't feel like
talking, you don't have to.
200
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,199
But the more you talk,
the more I can help you.
201
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,046
Okay,
what do you want to talk about?
202
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,970
I love talking to shrinks.
203
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:12,477
Uh, we-we haven't met, have we?
204
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,445
Vic, Vic Ferrari.
205
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,320
Whoa!
206
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,156
Somebody blew a bundle
at the dodge city sears.
207
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,395
Vic, uh...
208
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:34,099
I'm-I'm Dr. Jeffries,
latka's psychiatrist.
209
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,533
Oh, really, eh?
210
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,470
What is this, the "i'm
okay, you're okay" corral?
211
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,273
Book this boy on merv.
212
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,344
Vic, it was great seeing you.
213
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,480
But, uh,
now i'd like to talk to latka.
214
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,016
Oh, latka gravas? Yes.
215
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,684
Hey, he's a cute little guy,
but between you and me, doc, uh,
216
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,687
he's all oatmeal north of the
eyebrows, you know what I mean?
217
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:59,690
But, uh, if you want
him, you got him.
218
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,026
Why are you writing so fast?
219
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,029
Huh?
220
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,364
Uh, latka?
221
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,932
Yes? I just met Vic.
222
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,434
Oh, yeah?
223
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,403
Well,
I have some messages for him.
224
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,708
Latka, uh, you had the wood,
225
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,211
you had the bucket,
you had the chair,
226
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,314
and you had the mother who...
who what?
227
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,316
Latka,
I think you want to tell me.
228
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,985
Well...
229
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,122
She forced me to spend the
summers with my uncle bobka.
230
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,560
Listen, would...
231
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:39,030
Is it possible for me to
speak with uncle bobka?
232
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,033
Well, you can try,
but you have to talk loud.
233
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,001
You see,
they buried him 12 years ago.
234
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,239
Well, uh, could you tell me
235
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:51,375
what, uh, uh,
uncle bobka was like?
236
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,645
Oh sure, I can do that.
237
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,079
I show you.
238
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,249
He would say to me,
239
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,918
"don't be such a
crybaby, latka."
240
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,855
"I will make a man of you.
241
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,956
"Come with me.
242
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,692
I will put hair on your yanick."
243
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:11,196
Then he would take
me down to the river
244
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,198
and pretend to throw me in.
245
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,067
"But I don't know how to
swim, uncle bobka."
246
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,569
"Oh, come on,
247
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,270
everybody knows how to
swim if they have to."
248
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,907
Then,
he would throw me up in the air
249
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,976
and catch me at the last minute.
250
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:29,313
You see, he had no children
of his own to destroy.
251
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,916
Every night I would lie in bed
252
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:37,088
awake and I would wish
I was never been born.
253
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,189
Yeah,
254
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,324
what a terrible time
you must have had.
255
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:41,793
Well, not so bad.
256
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:45,730
Some children never get
to see their uncles.
257
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,798
Latka, this, you know,
258
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,767
this has been a
remarkable session.
259
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,437
Thank you very much.
260
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:56,040
But, uh, now, i'd, uh,
261
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,476
I'd like to see Alex
reiger, please.
262
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,478
Okay.
263
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:05,082
Could you send, uh,
Alex reiger in, please?
264
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,329
Hi, doc, Alex reiger.
265
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,952
Pleased to meet you.
266
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:10,955
Excuse me.
267
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,624
You're, you're Alex reiger?
268
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,992
That's right,
I'm a cab driver and I don't mind.
269
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:21,432
Well, Alex, uh, you know it's...
270
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,836
Good meeting you.
271
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:28,506
But I was just talking
to latka and i'd,
272
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,241
I'd really like
to see him again.
273
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,710
Well, uh,
I'd like to oblige, doc,
274
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,112
but I'm afraid
that's impossible.
275
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,580
You see, latka's gone.
276
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,747
He's gone?
277
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:42,019
I see. Oh... could I see Vic?
278
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,888
Arlo?
279
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:46,057
Anybody?
280
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,061
Doctor jeffries?
Yes, yes, come in.
281
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,731
Uh,
could you excuse us a minute?
282
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,699
I, uh...
283
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,241
I, uh...
284
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,310
I'd like to have a word
alone with your friend.
285
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,778
Sure, doc.
I'll be waiting outside.
286
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:11,115
Excuse me.
287
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,950
Certainly.
288
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,659
Doctor, excuse me.
289
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,494
Who does he remind me of?
290
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,529
Sit down.
291
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,898
Uh, first of all, Mr. Reiger.
292
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,767
Who was that guy?
293
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,236
I just want to set
your mind at ease that,
294
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:35,340
uh, latka, Mr. Gravas,
is in no danger.
295
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,741
It wasn't Arlo.
296
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,142
It wasn't Vic. And, uh...
297
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,209
Who was he?
298
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,712
Yeah, he'll, he'll be okay.
299
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,580
Just as long as he
has all his friends
300
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:43,881
around him to give him support,
301
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,182
as long as he... fine.
302
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,351
But who is he?
303
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,920
Alex... he's you.
304
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,867
Hi, Alex. Hi, Tony.
305
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,069
Alex, I'm worried.
306
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,640
I got to take my college
aptitude test next week.
307
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,010
In my high school,
they didn't even teach aptitude.
308
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,579
Well, Tony,
not everybody should go to college.
309
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,149
That's what it said under
my picture in the yearbook.
310
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,286
It's so tough.
311
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,687
You know,
when I was in the ring,
312
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,189
I knew that's what
I wanted to be.
313
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,202
Now, I don't know what I'm
going to do with my life.
314
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,126
Wait a minute, Tony.
315
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,662
If you miss boxing so much,
316
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,463
have you ever
considered being a ref?
317
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,798
Eree?
318
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,703
Yeah, you remember the referee.
319
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,337
He was the one in the ring
320
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,007
who wasn't beating
you senseless.
321
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,777
A ref, huh, Alex? Yeah.
322
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,680
You know, I like that idea.
323
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:49,759
I'm gonna think about that.
324
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,815
Thank you.
325
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,717
A ref...
326
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,954
Here you go, Lou. Ooh.
327
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,990
Ooh!
328
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,158
Another lollapaloosa night
329
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,828
for reiger number two!
330
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,131
I kiss the day you went
off your nut, Alex.
331
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,802
Hey, Lou, uh,
what do you think of the human race?
332
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,237
I'd like an outsider's opinion.
333
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,978
Funnier than you.
334
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,182
A buck and a half
for your thoughts.
335
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,419
Inflation.
336
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,620
Ah, it's nothing.
337
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,389
I had a little problem,
I got it all solved.
338
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,590
I'm going to be a referee.
339
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,425
Sure you want to be a referee?
340
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,826
I don't know, I mean,
341
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,529
the money ain't that
great and fans hate them.
342
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,698
Oh, why do you want
to be a referee?
343
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,899
I don't know.
344
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,001
Somebody thought
it was a good idea.
345
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,103
Sounds like terrible
advice to me.
346
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,838
Me, too.
347
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,777
A referee?
348
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,446
I thought it was a good idea.
349
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,881
Oh, hey, Alex?
350
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:57,982
Yeah?
351
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,785
Uh, no, no, no, not
you, Alex, this Alex.
352
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,687
Oh, right.
Oh, but that reminds me.
353
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,821
Alex? Yeah?
354
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:04,966
Uh, no, no, no, not you, Alex,
355
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,858
this Alex. Oh, right.
356
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,393
That advice you gave me
worked out beautifully.
357
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,729
I kept Jason and Jennifer
apart until they begged me
358
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,364
to let them play with
each other again.
359
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,366
Well,
I'm just glad it worked out.
360
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:16,834
Thanks.
361
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,136
They're making you a card
for your refrigerator.
362
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,773
Now, Alex, guess what?
363
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,376
I have two tickets to
see Lena horne tonight.
364
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,544
You want to go?
365
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,811
Uh, oh, no, I'm sorry Elaine,
366
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,680
I, uh, I'm going to the
hockey game tonight.
367
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,981
Sorry, I can't make it.
368
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,282
Oh, that's okay.
369
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,485
I-I can find somebody else.
370
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,856
Um...
371
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,824
I have two tickets for
Lena horne tonight.
372
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,193
Would you like to go?
373
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,461
Sure, great.
374
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,895
I got tickets to
the hockey game,
375
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:46,964
but I'll just give
them to some kid.
376
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,839
I should have done that.
377
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,241
Okay, Alex, then it's a date.
378
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,710
Uh, take your ticket 'cause I
have to meet you there, okay?
379
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,045
All right. Okay.
380
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,680
Thank you.
381
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,883
Elaine, Elaine!
382
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,086
You just made a date with latka!
383
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,222
Uh, yeah, I guess I did, huh?
384
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,357
I don't believe this!
385
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,626
I don't believe that
you're not more concerned.
386
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,761
You were the one that
got him to go to see
387
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,274
a psychiatrist because
you were so upset.
388
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,698
Yeah, I know, I, I did.
389
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,267
You know, it's kind of strange,
390
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:26,737
but, now that he's you,
somehow it seems okay.
391
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,072
Wait a minute!
392
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,775
Are you making a case for
multiple personality now?
393
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:34,011
You know, you're getting
awfully emotional about this.
394
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,513
You're damn right I am!
395
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,348
How would you like
someone living your life?
396
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,850
And having more fun at it?
397
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,519
I mean,
I might not have been much,
398
00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:45,522
but at least I was
the only one being me.
399
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:47,391
How come he's smarter than I am?
400
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:50,127
How come he's booking
more money than I am?
401
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,429
How come he's, uh... more fun.
402
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,931
Thank you. More fun.
403
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,101
Maybe I should be the
one giving up being me!
404
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,347
You seem upset about
something, Alex.
405
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,938
Yes, I am!
406
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,617
You know, I'm on my way
to see Dr. Jeffries now
407
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:03,941
and he's helped me a lot.
408
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,176
Maybe he'll help you, too. Oh?
409
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,522
Would you like to
come and talk to him?
410
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:07,546
Would I like to come...
411
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,913
Yes, right now.
412
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,915
Hi, Alex.
413
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,950
Hi, Jim. Hi, Jim.
414
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:17,688
Where are they going?
415
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,456
To see their psychiatrist.
416
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:24,061
Boy,
what do you think the odds are
417
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,596
of two guys having
the same name,
418
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,265
in the same garage,
419
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,534
going to see the
same psychiatrist
420
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:33,037
at the same time?
421
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,706
Gotta be three to one.
422
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:42,947
Dr. Jeffries,
423
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,782
you've been seeing
latka for a month now
424
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,228
and I'm getting worried
about his health.
425
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,618
Oh, I don't think there's
426
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,130
any need to worry
about his condition.
427
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:50,220
Well, I do.
428
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:51,466
I'm going to strangle that guy.
429
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,024
Now, how long is
this going to last?
430
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,691
Well, from what I know about it,
431
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,194
I'm surprised it's
gone on this long.
432
00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:00,764
But this is a fascinating case.
433
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:04,434
I'm a lucky guy.
434
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:10,407
Hey, maybe you can help.
435
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,409
Hmm? Yes.
436
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,577
Would you mind,
437
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,111
would you mind staying
through his session?
438
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:19,850
All right.
439
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,556
Uh, Mr. Reiger?
440
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:28,192
Would you step in now please?
441
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,498
Would you mind sharing
this session with him?
442
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,701
Not at all.
443
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,938
Don't hog the therapy.
444
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,542
Well, Alex,
what's it been like this week?
445
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,077
Well, doc,
446
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,446
I've been thinking
about my life a lot.
447
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,582
Where does Alex
reiger go from here?
448
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:55,185
I mean, uh, I don't want to crab
449
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,354
uh, we're here, we take a shot.
450
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,556
But when you examine my life,
451
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,893
I had a bad marriage,
my wife was cheating on me.
452
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,128
Which was probably my fault,
453
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,729
I mean,
I should have caught her sooner.
454
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,566
My daughter's grown, and, uh,
455
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,502
we're not as close as I'd like.
456
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,770
She does seem grateful,
457
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,905
but, uh,
I think that's primarily
458
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,041
for not inheriting my nose.
459
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,909
Are you self-conscious
about your nose?
460
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,044
No! Well, I sure am!
461
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,713
I got a honker here
that won't quit!
462
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:24,915
I mean, who are we kidding?
463
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,084
But forget about how I
screwed up things right now.
464
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,885
I was thinking just
the other night,
465
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,221
I got a mediocre job
which I do very well.
466
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,556
Yeah.
467
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:34,391
But it doesn't stimulate me.
That's right.
468
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:37,494
I like my friends,
but the nature of the relationship
469
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:39,629
seems to be that I'm some
kind of authority figure.
470
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:40,831
Right.
471
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,499
I listen to their problems
472
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,934
and I'm not supposed
to have any!
473
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,168
Yeah!
474
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:49,039
I take pride in accepting
things the way they are,
475
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,408
but I just realized that
maybe that's because, uh,
476
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,677
it's an excuse for not
having any ambition.
477
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,348
I'm starting to realize
478
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,083
that my love for
life is unrequited.
479
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:02,520
Oh, god, yes.
480
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:05,055
Oh, he's pouring
out my heart here.
481
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,059
So, I was really down
482
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:11,128
till suddenly it came to me.
483
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,297
The exact thing that I should do
484
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,433
to put my whole life in order!
485
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:17,668
What's that?
486
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:19,537
And I feel like a million bucks!
487
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,705
What?
488
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,439
And you know what it is?
489
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:23,273
What?
490
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:26,110
It's so damn simple!
491
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,189
What, what, what, what, what?
492
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:30,314
The answer to it all is...
493
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,016
What?! What, what?!
494
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,618
So, we had the bucket,
we had the wood...
495
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:37,421
No, no, no, no!
496
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:38,622
No, no, no!
497
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:41,025
What was it? What?!
498
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,527
No!
499
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:44,761
Mr. Reiger. He almost had it,
500
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:46,196
you heard him, he almost had it!
501
00:22:46,232 --> 00:22:47,398
What? What's simple?
502
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,065
Alex, you're squeezing me.
503
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,435
Huh? Oh.
504
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,804
Thank you very much.
505
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,074
What is this?
506
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:00,277
Ooh, could I please go now?
507
00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:02,879
I think I have a good
seat to see Lena horne.
508
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,180
Yeah.
509
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,485
I think we've accomplished
a lot in one day.
510
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,654
Yeah, must've been placed
here by a "put-pocket."
511
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,427
Bye-bye.
512
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:20,397
Thanks, Alex.
513
00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:21,799
Good seeing you again.
514
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,600
Huh? Oh, yeah.
515
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:24,901
It was good seeing you, too.
516
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:33,310
Doctor, since there is
time left in the session...
517
00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:35,979
Have a seat.
518
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,182
Thank you very much.
519
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:17,755
Good night, Mr. Walters!
35789
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