All language subtitles for Taxi (1978) - S02E22 - Art Work (480p DVD x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

Hey, guys, get your money out,
I'm going to make you rich.

What's up, Tony?

I got a tip on a
fight on the island.

We can't lose.
You know how I know?

He's fighting you?

Better than that.

Nothing's better than that.

Thank you.

I heard these two guys
talking in the gym

about this light heavyweight named
Johnson, right? Yeah? Yeah?

He's got a broken right hand,

but he's going to fight anyway
'cause he needs the money.

Ooh, that sounds good to me.
I'm in.

Me, too. I'm in. I'm in.

Hey, latka,
do you want to get in on this bet?

A bet? Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, come on, guys.

What?

Yeah, what?

Do you have to get
latka involved in this?

Elaine, listen,
we know you get a little irrational

when it come to gambling, so...

No, it's not that.

It's just that, you know,
latka doesn't make much money

and he has to work so hard,

and he's sending money to
people back home. Besides,

I bet he doesn't even
know what he's betting on.

Sure he does.

That's right.

Okay, what are you betting on?

Uh...

The horse racing.

No.

Uh... football.

Nope.

Badminton?

Latka...

Chin-punching.

Latka, it's boxing,

and it's a sure thing.

There's no sure thing.

Hey, listen, latka,
it's your money

and you can do what you want.

That's right, latka.

What would you do, Alex?

Me? Yeah.

What do you mean, if I was you?
Yeah.

I would tell Elaine, uh...

Elaine, Elaine...

This fellow has a broken hand,

and I could win many dollars,

and that would make my
family and me very happy.

Thank you very much.

You may laugh,

but I know people
who talk like that.

I'm in.

There we go. All right.

Listen, I'll call the bet
in, all right?

Thanks a lot, Alex.

Hey, come on...

Are you going to bet, too, boss?

I have one very firm
rule in my life:

I don't eat at the same table,

bet on the same side,

or climb on the same
airplane as losers.

Be gone, iggy.

Okey-doke.

Hey, Tony,

thanks a lot for letting
us in on that tip.

Hey, don't mention it, Alex.

Oh, it's a sweet one.

Hey, Tony? Tony,
the guy's name is Johnson, right?

That's right, that's our man

and he's going down.

Yeah, well, the guy Johnson's
fighting is named Johnson, too.

Wow.

What a coincidence.

I wonder how many
Johnsons there could be?

At least two, and they're
fighting each other tonight.

What do we do, tone?

Oh, geez...

Just bet on one of them.

We got a 50-50 chance
on a sure thing.

Listen, you just have a nice
day, okay?

Yeah, thanks a lot.

You must all promise to keep me
informed of your flight plans.

Elaine...

If you value our friendship,

you will not put that
smirk into words.

Oh, I'm sorry, guys.

I don't mean to make you
feel any worse than you do.

It's just that I see
you guys miss every day.

Every day you come in
here with some sure thing

and it never works out.

And every day at that gallery

I see rich people
getting richer.

I mean, they are always
gambling, and it never misses.

Just once,
I'd like to see somebody like us

make some money.

Oh, me, too.

But how?

By making intelligent
investments,

you know,
like in art for example.

Art?

You bet on painters?

Yeah, in a way.

See, I find paintings

that I know are going
to go up in value

and then I get other
people to invest in them

and then they become rich.

Hey, wait a minute, Elaine.

If you could do it
for other people,

you could do it for us.

You could do it for yourself.

Oh, no, I don't think so.

Come on, Elaine, Elaine,
we can pool our money

and you can invest it

in some art for us.

I'm in,
and there'll be more tomorrow

when I get my fight money.

Oh, please.

No, guys, I don't like
to look at art that way.

See, I was just using
art as an example.

Oh, no, but, Elaine,
you have inside information.

I know I've got inside
information, but, um,

I love art,
and I hate using it to make money.

Besides,
how much could we raise?

As much as we need.

Come on, come on, let's do it.

Yeah, yeah, come on,
what do you say, huh?

No, no, no. I promised
myself I'd never do it. No.

This could be the best thing

that's ever happened for us.

No, guys, I mean, this is final.

That's it, forget it.

Boy.

I don't think you ever had
any inside information.

I think you were just
trying to impress us.

As a matter of fact,

I know of a great
investment right now.

You do?

Yes. There's an artist
named Max duffin,

and he's going to be so big.
I mean,

next week at an auction we
could get a painting for $2,000,

and by the end of the year

it'd be worth $5,000.

$5,000?

We could make a fortune
if we kept doing that.

Yeah, well, maybe not a fortune

but $100,000 apiece.

100... well,
it would still be worth it.

Listen, Elaine, please, come on, okay?
Come on.

Yeah, come on, Elaine,
don't deny us a duffin.

No.

Elaine, Elaine,
don't let this chance slip by.

Do you remember "if"?

"If"?

Yeah, "if" by rudyard kipling.

"If you could make one
heap of all your winnings

"and risk it on one turn
of pitch-and-toss, and lose

"and start again
at your beginnings

"and never breathe a word

about your loss..."

"If you can talk with crowds

"and keep your virtue

"or walk with kings...
Nor lose the common touch.

"If neither foes nor loving
friends can hurt you.

"If all men count with
you, but none too much.

"If you can fill the
unforgiving minute

"with sixty seconds'
worth of minutes run

"then yours is the earth

"and everything that's in it

and, which is more,
you will be a man, my son!"

Where the hell did I learn that?

Okay, you got me.

We did?

Yeah, we'll do it. We'll do it.

Okay, now, you're sure

this guy's work is going to go
up, right?

I'm positive.

Well, because there's this
thing, you know,

um, that I really don't
want to talk about

because it's terrible
and sort of ghoulish.

Well, what is that?

Well... well, okay.

It's kind of morbid, you know,

but it's a reality
of the art business.

See, um...
Max duffin is an old man,

and he's in very bad health.

And, well, uh,
an artist's work always goes up in value

after the artist... dies.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I've known works

to triple and quadruple in value

the day after the
artist passed away.

Oh, I'm feeling so creepy
even talking about it.

Yeah, ooh,
let's not talk about that, no.

How sick is he?

Louie,
I don't want to talk about it.

Well, you don't have to give me

the gruesome details.

Can he eat solid food?

Does he recognize visitors?

Is he on any machines?

I mean, is there a plug
somebody might accidentally...

Whoop! Trip over?

Hey, Louie, what do you care?

Well, suddenly,
this investment interests me.

I mean, as I see it,
buying one of the old geezer's paintings

is like betting
he's going to die.

We can't lose.

What do you mean "we"?

I want in.

Hey, forget it, Louie.

No way, Louie.

No, wait a minute, hold on.

You two dumb bozos can't
decide for everybody.

All the dumb bozos
have to have a say.

All right,
let's be Democratic about it.

All those in favor

of keeping Louie
out of this deal

signify so by
spitting on his shoes.

Now, wait, hold on, here.

You better think this over.

I mean, this is not
penny-ante stuff here.

I mean, we're dealing with big stakes
here, boys and girls.

You need somebody
who's got a bankroll.

I got money.

Why don't we vote on it?

Maybe we should.

Oh, we don't need to vote...

No, I think we do. Uh, Louie...

Would you mind giving
us a little privacy

so we can talk about this?

Why, certainly.

I'll just sit over here

turn my back away
and, uh, you know,

you just pretend
I'm not in the room,

and I'll respect
the confidentiality

of your discussion.

I hate him.

Okay, look, maybe he's right.

Maybe we do need his money.

No. Come on,
we got enough amongst ourselves.

How much you said we
needed, $2,000?

Yeah.

Okay. How much are we
all going to throw in?

A ballpark figure, Tony.

What do you think?

Oh, 200 bucks.

All right. Bobby?

About the same.

Elaine? Maybe $250?

Good. Latka?

350 brokniks.

How much is that
in American money?

Nothing.

Jim, Jim...

$18.

Is that all?

Hey, I can buy and sell latka.

Okay, uh, so without you, Alex,

we have about $700

and with you we have...?

A desperate need for Louie.

I'm sorry. I blew my whole
bankroll on that skiing trip.

I'm sorry.

Okay, but no...
guys, this is our chance.

Come on, this one painting

could do it for us.

Really. Whatever we have
to do we should do it.

Trust me on this.

I'm the practical one, remember?

Guess there's only
one way to settle it.

Let's vote.

Okay, but look,
let's make it unanimous... unanimous.

Otherwise, he's not in, okay?

Jim.

All those in favor
of keeping Louie in,

raise your hands.

Raise it or lose it, Wheeler.

That a boy.

You know, I...
I've-I've heard that there's a thrill

associated with coming in
contact with great art,

but I never realized how true
it was until this very moment.

Bobby, these are just prints.

They're copies of
original paintings.

They're almost worthless.

The actual paintings for auction

are in the other room.

Oh.

Alex,
just so you'll be informed,

I want to explain what
this paddle is for.

You see, you use it...

I know what it's for, Elaine.

I'm not a total dummy.

I know something about
the world of culture.

Okay.

Hey, what's it for?

What do you mean, this paddle?
Yeah.

Well, it's for making your bid.
Well, it's for making your bid.

You hold it up to be
you hold it up to be

recognized by the auctioneer.
Recognized by the auctioneer.

Does that explain it for
you, Bob?

Oh, good,
you gave latka the day off.

Yeah, I told him
that all he had to do

is fix the problem in cab
643, he could come with us.

Oh, did you get it fixed?

Uh... almost.

What's that?

Uh... uh... I don't know.

That's the problem.

Oh, no.

Jim...

I thought you were
going to dress up.

Yeah, I loaned you a suit.
What happened?

I know, but it didn't fit
me, except the tie.

As luck would have it,

we've got the same tie size.

Yeah, that is lucky.

Guys, why don't we go in

and get a good seat.

Oh, okay.

Whew. Hey, Elaine

better tell us what
to do in there.

We never been to
nothing like this.

Oh, Tony, don't worry about
it, just relax.

I'm going to take
care of the bidding,

so, uh, you guys just try to
maintain an air of dignity.

So...

Miss nardo, which one is ours?

Oh.

This is worth 2,000 bucks?

Yes, and it's going up as
we're talking about it.

Gee, you know, it's untitled.

For 2,000 bucks,
you'd think they'd throw in a name.

You... you know something?

I like it.

Me, too.

It is very pretty.

Yeah?

Well, enjoy it all you want now,

because we're only
holding onto this rag

until the old geezer croaks,

and then it's gone.

Well, on that inspiring note,

I think we better
take our seats.

Why don't we sit in the
front where we can be heard?

But there's only one
seat left in the front.

Not for long.

Way to go, Louie.

It's just what I expected...

They estimate our
painting will sell

for between $1,000 and $1,800.

We only have $2,000.

Louie, are you sure you
can't go any further?

I told you,
I got every penny I own

sunk into this deal.

I thought you said you
had a lot of money.

Yeah, but it's not in cash.

Most of my assets are
tied up in investments.

I know I'm going to
regret asking this:

What sort of investments

are your assets tied up in, Lou?

Well, right now all my money's
in a nursing home in Jersey.

I mean, you know,
nursing homes are a really good deal.

The only problem is the
people that run this one

spend too much money on
upkeep, you know,

and there's not enough
profits to go around.

Why don't you straighten them
out, Lou?

I tried. I told them,

"those people don't eat
three meals a day." I mean,

their memories are so bad

they don't know whether they
had three meals or a cracker.

I say let them sleep.

Louie?

What?

You're a slime, Louie.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we're about to begin the auction.

All right, all right,

let's settle down
here and concentrate.

Our first item today

will be a painting
by Wallace leidegger

entitled nude at daybreak.

All right!

My god, I know her!

She's dyed her hair,
but that's her.

Jim, Jim, sit down.

And may we have $1,800 to
start, please?

$1,800. Thank you...
$1,800 is bid.

19 for it... $1,900. Now $2,000.

Hey, Elaine,
our painting's next.

Now, as I see it,
it's in our best interest

that we make
everybody else think

it's worthless, right?

Louie, please.

Our next painting is
another work by Max duffin.

Yike!

Whew!

How did that get in here?

Yuck!

Ugh!

This painting is untitled.

I got one for it.

How about "garbage"?

What is wrong with you?

Okay, listen,
everybody, this is it.

Now, pay attention.

May we have $1,000 to start
this painting, please?

$1,000... thank you.

$1,000... $1,000.

$1,100.

Now at 11...
$1,100 is bid... 12.

$1,200... Now at 12.

$1,300, please.

$1,300 is bid... 14.

$1,400.

It's going too fast.

Fifteen.

$1,500...

Going at 14... 15.

$1,500.

Oh, you...

What's with this guy?

It's getting too high!

Well,
let's bring it down a little.

One hundred bucks,
and that's my final offer!

At $1,500.

$1,600...
and don't do that again, sir.

$1,600 once... and 17.

You're getting on my nerves!

18... $1,800 is bid.

19... $1,900... now at $1,900.

$2,000... $2,000.

$2,000 at two.

At $2,000 once...

We got it, we got it.

$2,000 twice...

Oh, we got it,
we got it, we got it!

$2,000 third...

And $2,100 is bid.

You better hope you don't
spend your twilight years

at sunset acres!

Hey, listen, we need more money!

Yeah.
Louie, don't you have any more?

I told you it's all I got!

Somebody's got to have some
money, man.

I can't believe we're going to
lose this painting for $100.

$2,200.

For $200.

$2,200... 23...

Oh, great,
now all we need is $400.

Now may we hear 25?

May we see 25?

Thank you, sir, $2,500.

25, 26... going to ask 27, 28...

Go for broke...
what do you care?

Look at your nice suit...!

You probably got a
maid and a Butler!

You got maids,
you got everything!

At 2,500...

At 25... May we have

$2,700, please?

May we... $2,700.

$2,700... Now 29.

$2,900, $2,900 is bid...

At $2,900.

At $2,900 once...

At $2,900 twice...

At $2,900...

And sold

for $2,900, number 498.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have some bad news for you.

I have just been handed a note

that Max duffin, the artist

of the last two
paintings that we sold,

died this morning at
his home in new Mexico.

Oh, no!

That's not fair!

That's not...

God, why, god?

Well...

This should be a lesson to me.

I thought maybe,
maybe just this once,

maybe once, I could have
some dealings with losers

and not get burned.

It can't be done.

It just cannot be done.

But, you know,
if you guys were at normandy,

we'd all be eating
strudel right now.

Oh, come on, Louie,
knock it off.

We feel as bad as you do.

No, you don't.

Now you don't.

Defeat and humiliation
are a way of life for you.

It's bad for my system.

Elaine, what happened?

How come everything

was more than we could afford?

It just goes to prove one thing:

You got to have
money to make money.

I must admit I feel pretty silly

getting all dressed
up for nothing.

Come on.

Come on, let's go to
Mario's, have a beer.

Okay, yeah.

You guys go on ahead.

I'm going to stay here

and look around for a while.

Look around at what?

I came here to buy

a... piece of art.

I feel like...
Buying a piece of art.

I mean, uh,
I'm going to buy one of these things.

They are for sale, aren't they?

Mm-hmm.

So, they may not be original.

I mean,
I may not make any money from it.

I'm not, am I?

So what?
I'm going to buy something I like.

Well... Actually, I...

There is some stuff here
I kind of like, too.

Yeah, maybe I'll buy
something, too.

I got some wall
space to cover up.

Well, yeah, let's look around.

And, you know,
if you don't see anything you like here,

I know a lot of places.

Okay.

Yeah.

Nardo...

I mean,
what's the big deal here?

I mean, why buy any of this junk

if it's worthless?

Louie, I think it has a value

that you can't understand.

Hold on, here.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

but I think you just
called me a slob.

I mean,

I'll show you what
kind of slob I am.

Hey, there, cookie.

I want one of your
classiest things here...

Something by...
Vincent Van patten, or one of those guys.

Hey, Elaine?

This is a reproduction,
isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

Is it good?

Do you like it?

Yeah, I like it a lot.

Then that's good.

Then I'm going to buy it.

Okay.

Come on...

With me.

Night, Mr. Walters.