subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Ricky-Stanicky_2024_English-ELSUBTITLE.COM-SUL_787101

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian Download

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:36,290 What are you? A dog or a cow? 2 00:00:36,291 --> 00:00:38,624 I'm a dog, but not just a dog. 3 00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:41,040 I'm a dog with a boner. Check it out! 4 00:00:44,083 --> 00:00:47,540 Well, there it is. Is the poop ready? 5 00:00:47,541 --> 00:00:49,458 That's a roger on the poop. 6 00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,957 Oh, holy crap, how big was that dog? 7 00:00:51,958 --> 00:00:53,832 Small, but there was seven of them. 8 00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:58,332 I'll give you three reasons why this is a bad idea. 9 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,457 One, cops. Two, dogs. 10 00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:02,957 Three, NRA front door. 11 00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:05,207 Quit worrying, Dean. These people deserve it. 12 00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:07,207 They never give out candy. 13 00:01:07,208 --> 00:01:09,540 Yeah, but remember last time we pulled something like this? 14 00:01:09,541 --> 00:01:11,124 Dean got his arm broke. 15 00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:13,540 That's because he ran off alone and fell in a ditch. 16 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,290 If he just sticks with us, he'll be fine. 17 00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:18,041 Come on! Let's do this. 18 00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,208 Okay... 19 00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:35,208 Go! 20 00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:50,582 Ahh, uh-oh... 21 00:01:50,583 --> 00:01:52,624 It's getting kinda big-ish. 22 00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:56,665 - Come on! - Quick! 23 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,083 No! 24 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,582 Doo-doo in mouth! Doo-doo in mouth! 25 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,665 Let's get out of here! 26 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,541 We can't - there's people in there! 27 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,874 Don't shoot! Don't shoot! 28 00:02:19,875 --> 00:02:21,416 The scarecrow set your house on fire. 29 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:25,665 No one's home. We gotta call 911! 30 00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:28,666 Dude! You're seriously overreacting. 31 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,665 Call 911! 32 00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:35,624 Hey, look! They do give out candy. 33 00:02:36,626 --> 00:02:37,874 We're so dead! 34 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,207 Oh, my God! My father's going to kill me. 35 00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,624 Come on, let's go. Let's get out of here. 36 00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:45,333 Wait! Wait a second, I got an idea. 37 00:02:48,791 --> 00:02:50,874 - Who's got a pen? - Use Wes's dick! 38 00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:52,915 Quick! Give me a first name. 39 00:02:52,916 --> 00:02:54,040 Zeus! 40 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,082 A kid's name! 41 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,958 - Ricky! - Okay. 42 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,207 Now a last name. 43 00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:00,333 I got it! Stanton. 44 00:03:02,541 --> 00:03:04,290 Wait, no! What? That's my last name. 45 00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,749 So? Your first name's not Ricky. 46 00:03:09,625 --> 00:03:11,166 - Come on. - Come on. 47 00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:13,541 Go! 48 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:22,915 Check this out. 49 00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:25,832 Numb-nuts kid caught his jacket on fire during his prank. 50 00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:26,915 Here's the best part. 51 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,708 His mommy wrote his name on the collar. 52 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,707 'Ricky Stanicky'? 53 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:32,915 Dumb shit. 54 00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:34,457 Bad news, Chief. Just heard back. 55 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:36,332 No Stanickys in the school district. 56 00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:37,915 Kid must be from out of town. 57 00:03:37,916 --> 00:03:39,041 Shit. 58 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:43,374 I can't believe that actually worked. 59 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:47,874 Guys, I think we just made a friend for life. 60 00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:02,750 Want to grab a quick drink? 61 00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:05,874 Why would you have a quick drink... 62 00:05:07,416 --> 00:05:09,499 when you can have the long drink? 63 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,582 In Finland, the happiest country on Earth, 64 00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,540 we invented the long drink... 65 00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:15,374 That's it for the beer in the garage. 66 00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,165 Do we need to run out and get more? 67 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:18,749 No. That's perfect. 68 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,125 You sure? 69 00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:23,207 - Yeah. The place looks amazing. - Yeah? 70 00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,008 Maybe this would be a good side hustle for us. 71 00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,749 Erin and Dean's baby showers. 72 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:29,499 - I like it. - Yeah. 73 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,207 And that's when Gilbert Gines realized 74 00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:33,457 that the answer to gang violence 75 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,957 may be found in the spit-valve of a well-worn trumpet. 76 00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:38,082 What is this? 77 00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,874 Uh, it's a show called 'Hero of the Week'. 78 00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:42,665 It's about everyday people who do these incredible things. 79 00:05:42,666 --> 00:05:44,874 My producer at Channel 6 wants me to submit for it. 80 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:46,582 He says he has a good contact there. 81 00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:47,832 Well, what are you waiting for? 82 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:50,207 Well, if I want MFMBC to notice me, 83 00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,124 what I need are better assignments, 84 00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:55,375 but all I get are these babies-who-Tweet stories. 85 00:05:55,958 --> 00:05:56,958 Mm! 86 00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,249 Speaking of babies, 87 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,040 can you please hang these pictures up for me, over there. 88 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:02,875 It's JT and Susan's baby pictures. 89 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:07,124 Jesus, God! Was JT born with adult teeth? 90 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:09,915 Oh, come on, his teeth are cute. Look at that. 91 00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:12,540 Cute? He looks like hillbilly Hitler. 92 00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:15,915 - You think all babies are cute. - All babies are cute. 93 00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:17,665 Yeah, sure. 94 00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:19,957 And the remotes are sticky for like 20 years. 95 00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:21,207 Well, there are good things 96 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:22,540 about having kids too, you know. 97 00:06:22,541 --> 00:06:24,332 - Really? - Yeah. 98 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,625 I don't remember my parents feeling that way. 99 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,666 You don't think your parents enjoyed having kids? 100 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:32,790 It doesn't matter. What we have is way better. 101 00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,290 It's what we always talked about. 102 00:06:34,291 --> 00:06:35,291 Hmm. 103 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:37,166 I love you. 104 00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:39,125 You love me. 105 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,041 - We love Paul. - Hmm. 106 00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:45,290 And we don't need anyone else. 107 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:47,457 Oh, my God! JT, leave me alone! 108 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,665 It is my baby shower, I'm going to have one drink. One! 109 00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:52,582 Dr. Kurihara said it is perfectly fine. Hello. 110 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:55,165 Dr. Kurihara is part of the medical industrial complex, 111 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,374 and Midwife Maggie said you're on a strict vegan diet 112 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,040 and absolutely no alcohol. 113 00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:01,915 Okay, well you are not Midwife Maggie, you are my husband. 114 00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:04,207 Yeah, I know, but I'm also Daddy Doula. 115 00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:05,874 - That's my job. - You gotta stop saying that. 116 00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:07,374 You're going to make the baby throw up. 117 00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:09,290 They can't... Can they throw up inside of there? 118 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:10,749 Wait, JT's your doula? 119 00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:13,165 Yeah, he also wants to be naked when the baby is born. 120 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,874 - Don't you? - I don't want to be naked. 121 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:16,415 I just want my shirt off, okay, 122 00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,207 for the first embrace, skin to skin. 123 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:20,082 It's a bonding thing. 124 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,540 - Good. - Hey, you better get that. 125 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,457 That's the fourth time Ricky called in, like, 20 minutes. 126 00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:24,540 Yeah, see what he wants, man. 127 00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,749 He's been blowing me up all day. 128 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,582 - Really? - Yeah. 129 00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:29,000 All right. 130 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:32,332 Stanicky! What up, man? How's it going? 131 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,457 I'm going to get you a tea, not wine, don't drink. 132 00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:37,541 Yeah, hey I'm in the middle of something right now. I just... 133 00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:41,791 Are you serious? 134 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,333 Uh-huh. Okay. 135 00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:51,290 Well, just do me a favor and have someone call me 136 00:07:51,291 --> 00:07:53,083 when you get out of surgery, all right? 137 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,541 So you're all alone? 138 00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,375 Shit, man, that sucks. 139 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:01,957 All right, hang in there. 140 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:03,540 We'll all be sending you positive vibes 141 00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,083 from over here, buddy. 142 00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:08,375 Love you too, man. 143 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:11,208 What's going on? What did he say? 144 00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,666 It's back. 145 00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,166 What's back? 146 00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,124 - The cancer. - Oh, God. 147 00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,915 I thought he was out of the woods. 148 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:20,958 Poor guy. 149 00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:23,999 Are they going to have to remove the... 150 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,624 other testicle? 151 00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:27,207 And can they even do that? 152 00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:28,957 I thought you needed at least one to live. 153 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,999 What? No! That's kidneys, dumbo. 154 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,707 Where is he? 155 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,457 He's in a hospital in Albany. 156 00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:36,457 Albany? Why is he in Albany? 157 00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:38,707 He flew in from Nairobi to meet with some non-profits 158 00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,874 and he had an attack. 159 00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,499 They're gonna open him up tonight. 160 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,082 Dean, you should drive out there. 161 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:45,249 The poor guy's all alone. 162 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,332 I can't go tonight. What about the baby shower? 163 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:48,915 And Summerhayes is going to be here. 164 00:08:48,916 --> 00:08:50,457 What? You're worried about your boss? 165 00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:51,749 Come on, he's just business. 166 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,874 Ricky's been there for you guys your whole lives. 167 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:56,165 Dude, just go. I've got Summerhayes covered. 168 00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:58,082 What? No, no, no, no. 169 00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,165 You should call him 170 00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:00,832 and tell him you have a family emergency. 171 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:02,082 You should go with Dean. 172 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,499 Are you serious? Babe, we can't both bail on the boss. 173 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,957 Yes! Yes, you can. 174 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:07,457 I mean, he'll probably be relieved 175 00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:09,375 that he doesn't have to go to a baby shower. 176 00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:14,832 Well, looks like we're going to Albany. 177 00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:15,874 You were right, man - 178 00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,915 the Summerhayes thing totally put it over the top. 179 00:09:17,916 --> 00:09:19,582 The Devil's in the details, my friend. 180 00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:21,040 What the hell took y'all so long? 181 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:22,749 - The flight leaves in an hour. - Oh, sorry. 182 00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:23,957 We were doing all the work 183 00:09:23,958 --> 00:09:25,999 executing our brilliant last-minute plan. 184 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,207 Who made the Stanicky calls? 185 00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,165 Who cares who did what, Wes? The point is it worked. 186 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,499 We got out of a baby shower, 187 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,165 and we got tickets to Marc-fucking-Rebillet! 188 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,166 Whoo! 189 00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:35,249 - How'd you score those babies? - Yeah, this guy we work with 190 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,665 broke one of his ankles last night. 191 00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:39,207 He fell out of a tree trying to get his kid's balloon. 192 00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:40,790 - Poor guy. - So we got his tickets. 193 00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:42,332 Goddamn, y'all so lucky, man! 194 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,082 This kind of shit happens to you all the time. 195 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,249 Hey! Good things happen to good people. 196 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,415 That's right. Atlantic City, here we come. 197 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:49,624 Let's tear New Jersey a new armpit! 198 00:09:49,625 --> 00:09:50,625 Whoa! 199 00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:53,915 It's not the same but it feels just as good. 200 00:09:53,916 --> 00:09:56,375 I mean, you just have to have sex on the side like a walrus. 201 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,540 Won't that dent the baby's head? 202 00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:01,375 I had a friend named Liam, and his head got all dick-dented. 203 00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:04,999 I think maybe his mother had a short vagina. 204 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,915 Just looking out for baby Whitaker. 205 00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:08,332 So you still going with Whitaker, huh? 206 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,124 We are! It's a family name. All right? 207 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:11,540 - Oh, that's nice. - Yeah, thank you. 208 00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:13,249 You guys know the rules. 209 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,040 Phones off, so we don't get tracked. 210 00:10:15,041 --> 00:10:16,208 - Mm-hm. - Yep. 211 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:18,915 - All right. Wes. - I'm Wes. 212 00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:20,041 - Bible! - Ooh. 213 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,375 All right... 214 00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,624 What we got? 215 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,457 - Ricky's cancer's back. - Oh, no. 216 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,540 Emergency surgery in Albany. 217 00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:31,999 Oh, that's terrible. Emergency surgery... 218 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,790 Hey, why does it have to be cancer? 219 00:10:33,791 --> 00:10:35,290 Like, won't everybody get worried? 220 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,582 That mean I gotta do chemo again? 221 00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:39,874 Yeah, and that's going to take us right into the World Series. 222 00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,583 - Ahh. - Boom! 223 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,374 All right, one final bit of business before we land. 224 00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:47,624 Stanicky phone. Let's get this Instagram out of the way. 225 00:10:47,625 --> 00:10:49,083 There we go. 226 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,540 - "Life is precious." - It is. 227 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,832 - "And so is friendship." - Hmm. 228 00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:58,500 "Thanks to my boys for being here for me." 229 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,125 Good. 230 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,082 All right, are we done? Is it get drunk time? 231 00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:03,999 - Yeah. - A toast! 232 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,374 To Ricky Stanicky. 233 00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,082 To Ricky Stanicky. 234 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,291 The best friend we never had. 235 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:10,999 Yoo! 236 00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:53,874 Woo-hoo-hoo! 237 00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:56,332 God, that was good! That was amazing! 238 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:59,124 - Thank you, Ricky Stanicky. - The fucking Loop Daddy! 239 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:00,290 Unbelievable, dude. 240 00:12:00,291 --> 00:12:02,499 It makes all that guilt I'm feeling totally worthwhile. 241 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,374 Why do we even have to feel guilt? 242 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,624 We could have just told them. 243 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,374 You know, and cut out that whole angst part. 244 00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:09,124 No, because the Rebillet tickets 245 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,749 fell into our lap this morning, 246 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,874 and the girls have had the baby shower planned for weeks. 247 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:14,457 Yeah. Yeah, but they're strong women. 248 00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,124 I'm sure they would've gotten over 249 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,624 us skipping one little party. 250 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,958 It's not one little party. It's my baby shower. 251 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,790 Oh, a Jack and Coke. 252 00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:25,915 I'll have a Dos Equis, please. Hoo! 253 00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:28,916 Do you have, uh... do you have organic vodka? 254 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,749 Just any vodka, it's all... 255 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,250 - Anything. - Thank you. 256 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,790 Speaking of vodka, I'll take a Belvedere, neat, 257 00:12:36,791 --> 00:12:38,374 and a plate of your crispiest calamari. 258 00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:40,582 No, no, Rod. No! Bad! 259 00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,207 You keep freeloading off the customers 260 00:12:42,208 --> 00:12:43,332 and you're out of here. 261 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:45,124 He loves giving me the business. 262 00:12:45,125 --> 00:12:47,332 Just to be clear, I'm anything but a freeloader. 263 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,415 Just going to give you guys a little 'squid pro quo' 264 00:12:49,416 --> 00:12:50,915 for the calamari. 265 00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:52,624 Really? Meaning? 266 00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:54,582 Oh, I do a midnight show at the Slot Swamp Casino. 267 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,874 I'll get you guys in, half price. 268 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:59,166 - What kind of show? - Ah. Check this out. 269 00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:01,875 Boom! 270 00:13:01,876 --> 00:13:03,665 Oh, shit! Yo! 271 00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,082 "Rock Hard Rod - 272 00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:08,333 "South Jersey's premier X-rated rock'n'roll impersonator". 273 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,624 That's not as crazy as it sounds. 274 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,249 I mean, most of the songs are just about masturbation, 275 00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,583 and we all do that, right? 276 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,332 Yeah! 277 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,749 Actually, Rod, I don't think we'll be able to make the show, 278 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:20,915 but we'll buy you a drink 279 00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:22,332 if you put your jerk-off hand down. 280 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:23,957 You drive a hard bargain, sir. 281 00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:27,499 So, you do a bunch of jerk-off songs to make a living? 282 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,832 Yeah, I do a whole act. 283 00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:30,915 Wall-to-wall, top-to-bottom jizz jams! 284 00:13:30,916 --> 00:13:32,999 You'll be surprised at how much material lends itself to it. 285 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,249 I mean, 'Beat It', Michael Jackson. 286 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,874 'Wind Beneath My Wings', Bette Midler. 287 00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:37,582 - Anything by The Strokes! - Mm. 288 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,040 Yeah, and I'm the only one in the world 289 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,082 that's figured it out. 290 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:43,249 Yeah, it's almost hard to believe. 291 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,832 Oh, Barry, my dear friends here 292 00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:46,291 will buy me that drink after all. 293 00:13:46,791 --> 00:13:47,999 Oh, yeah, I also do impressions. 294 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,082 You name it, I can do it. I'm a trained actor, you know. 295 00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:51,999 - I got a good one for you, Rod. - Yeah? 296 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,999 Why don't you do the guy that gets the fuck out of here 297 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,582 before I call security? 298 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,415 No, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. 299 00:13:57,416 --> 00:13:58,540 I think we'd like to see this. 300 00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:00,124 And go ahead and bring him that drink. 301 00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:03,457 Ha! And the calamari, Bar-ry! 302 00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:05,624 Dickhead! Love that guy. 303 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,332 So, who do you guys want me to do? 304 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,916 You, er, I don't know, you like Owen Wilson? 305 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,957 - Sure. - We love Owen Wilson. 306 00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:14,250 - Yeah, that's fine. - I would love some Owen Wilson. 307 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,040 Wow! 308 00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:20,915 Where in the history of our relationship 309 00:14:20,916 --> 00:14:22,957 did you think I couldn't do an impersonation 310 00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:24,999 of somebody as adorable as The Big O? 311 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,832 That is an excellent Owen Wilson. That's a good Owen. 312 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:28,957 - It's okay. - Wow. 313 00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:30,915 - It's not that good. - Thank you. Oh, er... 314 00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:33,083 - I'm just... - Calamari's here, man. 315 00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,458 All right, an oldie but a goodie. 316 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,374 Take a look at this tit, kid. 317 00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:44,165 Probably the last one you're ever going to see 318 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:45,416 for the rest of your life. 319 00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:47,749 Don't drink no more, Momma. 320 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,249 You're real mean when you drink stuff. 321 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,499 Quit your bitchin', ya sloppy punk. 322 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,165 You wanna know how you was hatched? 323 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:55,874 Your old man was basting my rump roast 324 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,957 and some of it dribbled into my woolly burger. 325 00:14:57,958 --> 00:14:59,749 You know what that makes you? 326 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,749 A shit baby! 327 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,749 That's right, you're nothing but shit, 328 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,416 and you always will be! 329 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,458 Is... is that from 'Downton Abbey'? 330 00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,832 That was, er... 331 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,375 just a little skit from my childhood. 332 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:20,665 Er, yeah... 333 00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,832 I think it's time to hit the tables, boys. Huh? 334 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,790 Right on. Where are we going? 335 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,415 Copper Bonnet's the only place on the boardwalk 336 00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:27,416 with 50-cent tables. 337 00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,290 Not as many hookers, but they're friendlier - 338 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,415 they don't get weirded out 339 00:15:30,416 --> 00:15:31,832 when you just wanna brush their hair. 340 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:34,040 Yeah, Rod, I think we're just going to stay around here. 341 00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:36,541 Oh, here's great. I'm friends with the bartender, Barry. 342 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,332 Hey, Hard-on Ronnie, we are doing our own thing. 343 00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,124 We got our thing going on, 344 00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:46,165 and we're probably just gonna... 345 00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:47,958 leave you. 346 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,375 Okay, I can take a hint. 347 00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:56,375 You guys look at me 348 00:15:56,376 --> 00:15:58,332 and you just see another scumbag impersonator, right? 349 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,083 Thanks for understanding, man. You're a good dude. 350 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,790 - What the hell, man? - What? 351 00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,666 You didn't have to be so mean about it. 352 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:12,333 What? I wasn't... What did I do? 353 00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:14,707 What? Was I being an asshole? 354 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,790 Well, you called him 'Hard-on Ronnie'. 355 00:16:16,791 --> 00:16:18,665 It's 'Rock Hard Rod'. 356 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,624 Ohh, right, I'm so sorry. 357 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,165 I didn't know Weird Al Wankovic 358 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,833 would be so sensitive. 359 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,083 Rod! Hey, Rod! 360 00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:28,916 These are mine. 361 00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:31,582 I just wanted to say sorry for what happened back there. 362 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:32,999 My friends... 363 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,499 they just want it to be some kind of reunion, just us, 364 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,125 but that wasn't cool, so... 365 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,750 Whatever, I get it. Happens all the time. 366 00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:43,457 You guys come in to AC 367 00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:46,124 with your Toyota Avalons and your anesthesiologist money. 368 00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,999 Strutting around like a bunch of big shots. 369 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,415 Let me tell you something. 370 00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:50,915 We lost Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson 371 00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:52,290 because of you fuckers, okay? 372 00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,500 None of us are anesthesiologists. 373 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,999 Not here for the convention? 374 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,208 No. 375 00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:01,499 Hey, I get it, man. 376 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,040 You look at me and see another asshole sideshow freak, right? 377 00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:05,707 - Not at all. - I'm more than that. 378 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,666 I'm a damn good actor. 379 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,708 You'll see. 380 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,500 Shit! 381 00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:20,082 Who are they? 382 00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,708 Crazy fans I was trying to avoid. 383 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,208 Anyway, I gotta run. Hey, take my card. 384 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:28,165 Remember that name. 385 00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:30,124 I promise it's going to mean something to you some day. 386 00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,041 I would not be surprised. 387 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:43,875 Oh! Jeez. 388 00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:02,915 Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! 389 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,957 - Give me my money right now! - JT! JT! 390 00:18:05,958 --> 00:18:08,207 Not now, Dean. I'm on fire! 391 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,415 And for once I'm going to leave Atlantic City a winner! 392 00:18:10,416 --> 00:18:12,000 Susan's in labor. 393 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,499 This was a bad idea. I knew this was a bad idea. 394 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,707 Don't friggin' do that, man. 395 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,749 You're 'Monday morning quarterbacking' right now. 396 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,832 Who could've figured she'd go into labor six weeks early? 397 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:27,124 Six weeks! My baby's going to be born six weeks early. 398 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:29,290 - Is he going to be okay? - The baby's going to fine. 399 00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:31,499 Babies are born six weeks early all the time. 400 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,207 I was born six weeks early. 401 00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,250 Oh, shit! Go, go, go! Go! 402 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,708 Susan Levine. What room is she in? 403 00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:49,416 - Levine? - Yeah, Levine. 404 00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:53,083 Ah, here we are. She and the baby are in 208. 405 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,707 She had the baby?! 406 00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:57,541 Oh, baby Whitaker. 407 00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,916 This was not the birth plan I had for you. 408 00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:02,624 I wanted you born on the shores of Goosewing Beach. 409 00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,332 You know what my birth plan was? 410 00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:06,290 For you to actually be here. 411 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:08,207 Why isn't he wearing a shirt? 412 00:19:08,208 --> 00:19:10,665 I'm having skin-to-skin contact with my son, Leona. 413 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,124 It's a proven way of regulating a newborn baby's temperature, 414 00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:14,624 and it calms him, thank you. 415 00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:16,166 Don't blankets do that? 416 00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:19,499 Oh, he is such a little peanut. 417 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,082 We should call him Shrimpy, he's such a little peanut. 418 00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:25,082 Please don't call my grandson 'Shrimpy'. 419 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:27,333 Shrimps are the cockroaches of the sea. 420 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,582 6lbs is pretty good for a month and a half early, right, Mom? 421 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,707 Oh, he's perfect. He's perfect. 422 00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:35,457 I want to know where the hell you guys were tonight. 423 00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:37,624 We called every hospital in Albany 424 00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:40,207 and there was no record of a Ricky Stanicky. 425 00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:41,832 Yeah, and the last thing you tell me 426 00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:44,165 is you got to go see him because he's got... 427 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,625 What kind of cancer? 428 00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:48,416 Er... anal. 429 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,624 I thought it was testicular. 430 00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:54,166 It was testicular, but then it spread to his anus. 431 00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,915 Yeah, they had to remove it. 432 00:19:56,916 --> 00:19:58,208 They removed his asshole? 433 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:02,457 Er... just the outer lip part. 434 00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:05,290 Outer lip part? What is he, a fucking baboon? 435 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,374 Come on, Wes. What's going on here? 436 00:20:07,375 --> 00:20:08,958 Where were you? 437 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,500 Okay. 438 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,833 It was a lie. 439 00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:21,041 It's all been a lie. 440 00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:23,208 What's a lie? 441 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,208 The whole Ricky Stanicky thing. 442 00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:29,332 It was, uh... 443 00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:30,499 It's bullshit. 444 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,499 JT, what's he talking about? 445 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,208 Yeah, Dean, what is he talking about? 446 00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:37,790 He's saying... 447 00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:40,290 Ricky Stanicky lied to us. 448 00:20:40,291 --> 00:20:42,707 Okay? There was no cancer. 449 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,999 When we got to the hospital, Ricky was standing out front 450 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,707 with a bottle of champagne and a limo. 451 00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,749 Turns out that it was his five-year anniversary 452 00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,540 being cancer free. 453 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,624 So he pretended to have cancer 454 00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:56,374 just so he could celebrate not having cancer? 455 00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,290 I... Yeah. 456 00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:59,415 It's typical Rick. 457 00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:01,374 You know, he's got such a weird sense of humour. 458 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:02,957 - He does, yep. - Okay... 459 00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:05,499 He was in Albany meeting with the Give Green Foundation, 460 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,707 and I guess he just wanted to celebrate with us. 461 00:21:07,708 --> 00:21:09,207 So he pranked us. 462 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:11,790 The Give Green Foundation? 463 00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:14,415 Yeah. You've heard of them, Leona. They're wonderful. 464 00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:17,999 Wait, why didn't you call us and tell us that he was okay? 465 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,790 And why was your phone off all night? 466 00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:21,332 Oh, baby, it was a whirlwind. 467 00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:22,915 Ricky took us to a stand-up comedy show 468 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,583 and they didn't allow cell phones, so... 469 00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:27,207 And after that, the night turned into a blur. 470 00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:29,457 You know I wanted to be here for you for this. 471 00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:31,000 I wanted this more than you did. 472 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,207 Oh, get that baby off that thing 473 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:34,332 and give him to his mother. 474 00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:35,915 Oh, that is disgusting! 475 00:21:35,916 --> 00:21:39,208 No. It's dangerous to detach. Let him suck it out. 476 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:42,249 Yeah. Good boy. 477 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:43,999 This hippie-dippy crap. 478 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,999 Well, I'm certainly going to give Ricky an earful 479 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,082 when I see him at the bris next week. 480 00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:49,415 What's a bris? 481 00:21:49,416 --> 00:21:51,040 It's the circumcision ceremony. 482 00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:54,040 Oh! It sounds like a soup. 483 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:56,457 You know, I doubt he's going to be able to be there, sadly. 484 00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:57,541 Why not? 485 00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:00,124 He has work in Nairobi. 486 00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,457 No, he doesn't. 487 00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:03,207 Wes is helping him out with some fundraiser 488 00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:04,749 in Providence on Saturday night. 489 00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:08,625 - I remember telling... - I told you. 490 00:22:09,708 --> 00:22:10,832 Yeah. 491 00:22:10,833 --> 00:22:14,832 Great. Well, the bris is on Sunday, so he can make it. 492 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:18,165 Yeah, maybe. Unless he's got to fly out early on Sunday. 493 00:22:18,166 --> 00:22:19,374 Well, that's ridiculous. 494 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:20,915 Come on, if he's in town on Saturday, 495 00:22:20,916 --> 00:22:23,207 why wouldn't he spend an extra day to meet baby Whitaker? 496 00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,333 Yeah, why wouldn't he? 497 00:22:26,208 --> 00:22:29,457 You're absolutely right. He should stay an extra day. 498 00:22:29,458 --> 00:22:31,416 In fact, I'm going to make sure of it. 499 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:33,415 What the fuck, Dean? 500 00:22:33,416 --> 00:22:34,874 What did you want me to say, man? 501 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:36,249 They were all staring at me. 502 00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:38,915 I look at you. You've got baby Whitaker nursing on you. 503 00:22:38,916 --> 00:22:40,415 Horrible name, by the way. 504 00:22:40,416 --> 00:22:42,249 - I just... - You panicked. 505 00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:43,500 I panicked?! 506 00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:46,499 What are you talk...?! You're the one who almost outed us! 507 00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:47,832 And you made plans with Stanicky! 508 00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:50,040 Ricky Stanicky is not a one-man show. You know that! 509 00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,540 It's a fragile fabric, man. 510 00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:54,124 Ricky Stanicky is only to be used as a three-man team. 511 00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:55,125 Huh. 512 00:22:55,126 --> 00:22:56,790 So, what about the golf rounds with Ricky 513 00:22:56,791 --> 00:22:58,249 that JT charged to your company? 514 00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,457 - You weren't there. - What? 515 00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:00,999 I charged the rounds of golf 516 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,582 because you didn't have any money. 517 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:05,625 Seriously, Wes. What happened in there, man? 518 00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:07,790 Look. 519 00:23:07,791 --> 00:23:10,249 Keith's been on my ass about finding a job, 520 00:23:10,250 --> 00:23:12,499 and sleeping all day... 521 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,749 and pumicing my foot-skin over the sink. 522 00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,832 What the fuck does this have to do with Stanicky? 523 00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:18,665 I needed a break! 524 00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,499 Keith can be very oppressive. 525 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,124 Sometimes I feel like I'm living 526 00:23:22,125 --> 00:23:23,541 in a gay 'Handmaid's Tale'. 527 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:29,165 So I went to a pot farm, where they make cannabis milk. 528 00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:31,165 You played the Stanicky card to get pot milk? 529 00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:33,082 You never had milk like this before. 530 00:23:33,083 --> 00:23:34,457 - No, I haven't. - It's delicious. 531 00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:35,540 I hope! 532 00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:37,665 They must feed these lucky cows weed all day, 533 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,624 because when they milk 'em - boom! 534 00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:41,290 Dream cream! 535 00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:42,624 What did you just say? 536 00:23:42,625 --> 00:23:43,750 Dream cream. 537 00:23:44,458 --> 00:23:45,583 Huh! 538 00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:51,415 We're fucked. We're majorly fucked. 539 00:23:51,416 --> 00:23:53,124 You know, we don't deserve this shit. 540 00:23:53,125 --> 00:23:54,540 All we did was tell one lie. 541 00:23:54,541 --> 00:23:57,083 Hundreds and hundreds of times over many, many years. 542 00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,332 Hey, maybe they'll forget 543 00:23:59,333 --> 00:24:01,540 that they invited Stanicky to the bris. 544 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:03,665 They'll be so busy with the family and friends, 545 00:24:03,666 --> 00:24:04,749 and cutting of penises. 546 00:24:04,750 --> 00:24:06,710 They're not going to forget they invited him, Wes. 547 00:24:07,791 --> 00:24:09,415 I got it. My boy Jonesy. 548 00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:11,207 He works for one of those online obituaries. 549 00:24:11,208 --> 00:24:13,082 We could kill Stanicky off. 550 00:24:13,083 --> 00:24:14,915 I like that. Let's kill his ass. 551 00:24:14,916 --> 00:24:16,415 Put your hands down, shit nuts. 552 00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:19,915 Obituaries give details. Friends, family, cemeteries. 553 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,165 Plus then everyone's going to want to go to the funeral. 554 00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:25,375 Okay, Dean, your negativity is not helping. 555 00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:32,250 Or, uh, we could go do my original plan... 556 00:24:33,166 --> 00:24:34,749 and tell everybody the truth. 557 00:24:34,750 --> 00:24:36,957 Shut your mouth. Shut your stupid mouth. 558 00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:38,290 We're not telling the truth. 559 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,915 There'll be no truth told, okay? 560 00:24:39,916 --> 00:24:41,707 We're going to do the right thing here. 561 00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:43,290 Some would argue that telling the truth 562 00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:44,499 is the right thing to do. 563 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,665 Yeah - assholes! 564 00:24:45,666 --> 00:24:48,124 Let me remind you guys of what the truth is, dream cream. 565 00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:49,582 Last night, when I was in New Jersey 566 00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:51,749 secretly partying my face off at the Marc Rebillet concert, 567 00:24:51,750 --> 00:24:53,165 my wife was giving birth to my son. 568 00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:54,290 Alone! Okay? 569 00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,374 And if the truth does come out, my marriage is over. 570 00:24:56,375 --> 00:24:58,415 And later, if my son finds out, that's over too. 571 00:24:58,416 --> 00:24:59,582 Is that what you want, Wes? 572 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:02,750 You want to destroy an entire family, huh? Huh? 573 00:25:04,041 --> 00:25:06,290 - Huh? - Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. 574 00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:10,458 What if we hire an actor to play Stanicky? 575 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,582 We give him the whole run-down. 576 00:25:12,583 --> 00:25:14,250 Tell him everything he needs to know. 577 00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,332 Okay, okay, I like this. Keep going. 578 00:25:17,333 --> 00:25:19,957 We could give him the bible, right? 579 00:25:19,958 --> 00:25:22,415 He studies it for a few days, 580 00:25:22,416 --> 00:25:24,707 and then he comes to the bris for a couple of hours 581 00:25:24,708 --> 00:25:27,250 and he plays Ricky Stanicky. 582 00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:31,375 Okay, but where are we going to find an actor? 583 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,540 Gary Polisner! He's in that Red Robin commercial. 584 00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,499 - He is? - Yeah. 585 00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:38,749 He's that dude that goes, "Seconds on steak fries? 586 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:39,999 "Uh, yeah!" 587 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,207 - That's Gary? - That's Gary. 588 00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:42,790 - Good for him! - Good for him. 589 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,082 I love those commercials. 590 00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:45,582 Guys, minor wrinkle - 591 00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:48,165 Gary's dating Carly, Erin's cousin. 592 00:25:48,166 --> 00:25:49,374 Oh, Cousin It? 593 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,249 That girl with the hair that touches the floor? 594 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,083 Yeah, but don't worry. 595 00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:56,250 I know an actor that nobody knows. 596 00:27:21,125 --> 00:27:23,207 Thanks for coming out tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 597 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:26,332 So horny to be here. So horny to be here. 598 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:32,790 Great show, Rod. 599 00:27:32,791 --> 00:27:34,541 Good crowd. 600 00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:42,083 Hey, Rod. Those guys are out there again. 601 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,082 Hey, we need more beer mugs. 602 00:28:25,541 --> 00:28:28,541 Rod Rimestead, trained actor. How can I help you? 603 00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,208 Yeah, Dean, I remember you. 604 00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:34,166 A gig? 605 00:28:35,125 --> 00:28:37,500 Let me... Er, you know what? Let me just check my schedule. 606 00:28:43,416 --> 00:28:45,666 Yeah, man. Looks like I'm free. 607 00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,290 And so our feathered friend 608 00:28:48,291 --> 00:28:50,332 still has not gotten off the golf ball 609 00:28:50,333 --> 00:28:53,124 that Dr. Dominic DiPasquale of East Greenwich 610 00:28:53,125 --> 00:28:56,582 hit near this greenside bunker six days ago. 611 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,707 But you can count on Channel 6 to be here 612 00:28:58,708 --> 00:29:00,874 until this exciting saga ends. 613 00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:05,374 Or, you can go to Channel6.com and log onto our live duck-cam. 614 00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:10,999 Can you believe I spent three years 615 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,165 in journalism grad school for this crap? 616 00:29:13,166 --> 00:29:15,290 Are you kidding? I love this story. It's fun. 617 00:29:15,291 --> 00:29:16,790 Don't patronize me. 618 00:29:16,791 --> 00:29:19,165 Okay. It sucks. I'm embarrassed for you. 619 00:29:19,166 --> 00:29:20,665 Thank you. 620 00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:23,457 You're really sweet to hang out with me, though, honestly. 621 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:24,790 - Are you kidding? - Thank you. 622 00:29:24,791 --> 00:29:26,790 Who else gets the chance to watch history unfold? 623 00:29:28,083 --> 00:29:29,207 Oh, wait. 624 00:29:29,208 --> 00:29:31,957 You know who's looking forward to meeting Ricky tomorrow? 625 00:29:31,958 --> 00:29:33,749 Yeah, Leona. I know. 626 00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:35,750 Uh-uh. Carly. 627 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,415 Carly with the hair? 628 00:29:37,416 --> 00:29:39,290 Mm-hm, my cousin, yeah. 629 00:29:39,291 --> 00:29:40,790 What happened to Gary Polisner? 630 00:29:40,791 --> 00:29:42,915 Oh, you know, they're together, 631 00:29:42,916 --> 00:29:45,415 but she follows Ricky on Instagram. 632 00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:48,332 - Loves his charity work. - Hmm. 633 00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:50,625 That duck's not going anywhere. 634 00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,665 Let's go get some lunch. Come back in an hour. 635 00:29:53,666 --> 00:29:56,374 I would, but I can't. I'm on duck duty for four more hours. 636 00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:58,666 Unless she gets up, I'm stuck here. 637 00:30:00,583 --> 00:30:01,874 Unless she gets up, huh. 638 00:30:03,833 --> 00:30:05,249 No! Paul! 639 00:30:06,416 --> 00:30:08,040 Paul! Paul, come back here. 640 00:30:12,666 --> 00:30:14,791 Hey, Paul. Paul, get back here. 641 00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:18,541 - Paul! - Oh, my God! 642 00:30:19,791 --> 00:30:21,207 Paul! 643 00:30:22,875 --> 00:30:24,083 Oh, my God! 644 00:30:24,791 --> 00:30:26,291 Come on! Paul! 645 00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,082 Paul! Get out of there! 646 00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,457 Hold your breath, Paul! 647 00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:32,874 Hang in there, buddy! 648 00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:34,000 - Bad duck! - Ow! 649 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:38,250 Dean, do something! You have to pull him out of there. 650 00:30:43,416 --> 00:30:45,624 Let's take a rain check on the lunch, all right? 651 00:30:45,625 --> 00:30:46,833 Sorry. 652 00:30:57,458 --> 00:30:59,250 Such an asshole! 653 00:31:03,916 --> 00:31:05,832 I just want to go on the record and say 654 00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:08,332 this is a really bad idea. 655 00:31:08,333 --> 00:31:10,290 Why? He does impersonations of famous people. 656 00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:12,040 How hard could it be to impersonate someone 657 00:31:12,041 --> 00:31:13,707 - that no one's ever met before? - Yeah. 658 00:31:13,708 --> 00:31:15,957 We're going to be fine. This is going to be totally fine. 659 00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:17,499 - You gave him the bible, right? - Yeah. 660 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:19,415 - Good. - And the Stanicky phone, 661 00:31:19,416 --> 00:31:20,999 everything on it, his Insta. 662 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,332 I FaceTimed him. I took him through everything, man. 663 00:31:23,333 --> 00:31:25,040 For a sloppy drunk, he's a real pro 664 00:31:25,041 --> 00:31:26,790 - when it comes to this stuff. - Fine. 665 00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:32,083 Oh, Jesus. 666 00:31:32,750 --> 00:31:34,249 Please don't be the trash bag, 667 00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:35,749 please don't be the trash bag... 668 00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:37,291 It's the trash bag. Oh. 669 00:31:38,958 --> 00:31:41,124 - Dude. - What the hell? 670 00:31:41,125 --> 00:31:42,915 - Hey, boys. - What are you on? 671 00:31:42,916 --> 00:31:44,332 Huh? 672 00:31:44,333 --> 00:31:46,374 Don't give me that shit. What drugs are you on? 673 00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:47,707 None. 674 00:31:47,708 --> 00:31:49,790 Don't lie to us. You're sweating like a tweaker. 675 00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:51,999 I'm sweating because I'm not on anything. 676 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,332 I've been cold-turkeying the booze for three days. 677 00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:57,249 Smashes my world record by three days. 678 00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:59,749 What? You can't quit drinking right now, man. 679 00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:00,999 We need you in top form! 680 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,374 I can't drink. Ricky Stanicky's in the program, remember? 681 00:32:04,375 --> 00:32:06,040 Right, yeah, yeah. 682 00:32:06,041 --> 00:32:08,207 Ricky's been clean and sober for the past seven years. 683 00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:10,540 Who cares?! People relapse all the time. 684 00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:12,707 - Yeah. - What are you...? 685 00:32:12,708 --> 00:32:14,040 What are you doing? 686 00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:15,582 Wallet. Mouth. 687 00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:16,957 Oh, oh, oh! 688 00:32:16,958 --> 00:32:18,582 Yeah, I've seen this on 'Intervention'. 689 00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:19,874 He's having withdrawals. 690 00:32:19,875 --> 00:32:21,374 The leather will calm him down. 691 00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:23,790 - Relax. It's okay. - Yeah. 692 00:32:24,833 --> 00:32:26,041 You okay? 693 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:28,708 I had a couple of those in the plane - they pass. 694 00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:32,457 The nice fella I walked off the plane with, he helped me. 695 00:32:32,458 --> 00:32:33,832 What fella? 696 00:32:33,833 --> 00:32:36,749 He was just... he was just here. You didn't see him? 697 00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:38,957 Curly eyes. Long blonde lips. He talks with a limp. 698 00:32:38,958 --> 00:32:39,958 All right, uh, 699 00:32:39,959 --> 00:32:41,707 how about we just take a little whiff of vodka, 700 00:32:41,708 --> 00:32:43,207 you know, just to take the edge off? 701 00:32:43,208 --> 00:32:44,374 - Yeah. A little bit. - Yeah? 702 00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:46,749 No, you hired me to play the role of a sober gentleman. 703 00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:48,540 I'm going to do so the only way I know how - 704 00:32:48,541 --> 00:32:50,499 with artistic integrity. 705 00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,541 What is that? Is somebody boiling lobster? 706 00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:56,041 Boiling what? Oh, Rod. 707 00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,290 Oh. 708 00:32:58,291 --> 00:33:00,957 It's not what you think it is. 709 00:33:00,958 --> 00:33:02,874 It's just piss. 710 00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,333 Oh, thank God. 711 00:33:07,833 --> 00:33:10,582 I can't believe you guys picked me up in this thing. 712 00:33:10,583 --> 00:33:11,749 What? 713 00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:14,499 This gas-guzzling, carbon-emitting Earth-killer. 714 00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:16,290 If your people see me pull up in this thing, 715 00:33:16,291 --> 00:33:18,040 my cover is blown for sure. 716 00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:20,999 He's right again. Ricky Stanicky's a tree hugger. 717 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,791 We helped him clean up the Chesapeake Bay, remember? 718 00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:26,249 The Pats/Ravens game. That was a good game. 719 00:33:28,166 --> 00:33:30,249 - Who's that? - Nobody. 720 00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:33,624 All right, who's the bank? I want all my cheese up front. 721 00:33:33,625 --> 00:33:37,165 SAG minimum - $983 a day, meal penalty after six hours. 722 00:33:37,166 --> 00:33:39,415 Dude, there is no way you're in the union. 723 00:33:39,416 --> 00:33:41,415 We'll give you half now and half when you're done. 724 00:33:41,416 --> 00:33:43,290 That's a no-bueno. I want all my cake up front. 725 00:33:43,291 --> 00:33:44,332 It's not negotiable. 726 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:46,416 Okay, then, that's a bueno. 727 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:49,999 Guys, we can't take him to the bris smelling like this. 728 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,707 Wes, can you please take Mr. Stanicky 729 00:33:51,708 --> 00:33:53,332 over to your place and shower him off 730 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:55,082 and then bring him over to JT's? 731 00:33:55,083 --> 00:33:58,624 It's 'Ricky'. Mr. Stanicky is my fake father's name. 732 00:33:58,625 --> 00:34:02,290 Um, hey, I don't think that's going to be a good idea. 733 00:34:02,291 --> 00:34:04,207 My shower curtains, they're all mouldy and shit. 734 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:05,332 Wes, stop being a douchebag. 735 00:34:05,333 --> 00:34:07,249 Erin and I have to get there early and help set up. 736 00:34:07,250 --> 00:34:09,207 So we're going to be there way before you. Just... 737 00:34:09,208 --> 00:34:12,082 I don't know, do what you can, make him presentable, please. 738 00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:13,957 Presentable? How dare you. 739 00:34:13,958 --> 00:34:15,874 You guys are supposed to be my best friends. 740 00:34:15,875 --> 00:34:17,832 You should be fighting over who gets to hose me down. 741 00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:20,874 Hey, grand-mal piss-pants. Shut the fuck up, okay? 742 00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:22,290 We wouldn't be in this predicament 743 00:34:22,291 --> 00:34:24,750 if you didn't show up smelling like a nursing-home mattress. 744 00:34:26,708 --> 00:34:29,708 Wow. This is a hostile set. 745 00:34:42,501 --> 00:34:43,915 Thanks for that, man. 746 00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,874 Starting to feel a little human again. 747 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,541 Yeah. Hey, let me ask you something. 748 00:34:48,708 --> 00:34:50,249 You're a raging alcoholic, right? 749 00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:51,540 Yeah. 750 00:34:51,541 --> 00:34:53,499 Well, then how do you stay so ripped? 751 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:56,165 - Roids. Shit-ton of roids. - Hmm. 752 00:34:56,166 --> 00:34:58,791 I got addicted to those too. 753 00:34:59,541 --> 00:35:01,208 God, they're good. 754 00:35:07,416 --> 00:35:09,165 Wow. Gay much? 755 00:35:09,166 --> 00:35:11,625 Yeah. I was really feeling it that day. 756 00:35:15,250 --> 00:35:17,249 Oh, so this is your, um... 757 00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:20,499 Partner, Keith. Mmm. 758 00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:21,790 Of course. 759 00:35:21,791 --> 00:35:25,125 By the way, I kind of told him that you were bi. 760 00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:27,124 What? Why? 761 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,624 Because it'd be weird if you weren't... 762 00:35:29,625 --> 00:35:30,874 since we dated. 763 00:35:30,875 --> 00:35:33,416 We dated? You and me? Was that in the bible? 764 00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:36,540 - I missed that. - No, it's not in there. 765 00:35:36,541 --> 00:35:38,249 Why the hell wasn't it in the bible? 766 00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:40,832 Well, 'cause I couldn't tell the guys. All right? 767 00:35:40,833 --> 00:35:43,207 Look, look, I didn't know how things would go 768 00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,790 on my first date with Keith. 769 00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:47,290 So I told him I was seeing this dude named Ricky Stanicky, 770 00:35:47,291 --> 00:35:48,832 in case I needed an out. 771 00:35:48,833 --> 00:35:51,458 But we hit it off and I told him we broke up. 772 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,415 Okay, no problem. 773 00:35:53,416 --> 00:35:57,833 Unfortunately, Keith's still a little threatened by you. 774 00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:02,832 Okay, spill the beans. I got to know everything. 775 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:04,790 - What did you tell him we did? - What do you mean? 776 00:36:04,791 --> 00:36:07,207 Cut the crap. You know what I mean. 777 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:09,165 Did we play Winnie the Pooh finds a honey stick? 778 00:36:09,166 --> 00:36:11,207 - What's that? - Munchkins in a cave? 779 00:36:11,208 --> 00:36:12,540 Upside-down barber? 780 00:36:12,541 --> 00:36:13,790 Shaved biscuits and gravy? 781 00:36:13,791 --> 00:36:14,915 - No. - Old faceful? 782 00:36:14,916 --> 00:36:17,708 No! We just went on a couple of dates. 783 00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:21,333 Oh. I guess I didn't do it for you. 784 00:36:22,208 --> 00:36:24,083 You're no trophy either, beagle ears. 785 00:36:26,916 --> 00:36:28,624 Hey, what's this? 786 00:36:28,625 --> 00:36:32,832 Oh, it's just this... this children's book thing 787 00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:35,208 that I've been tinkering with. 788 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,332 Hey, there he is! Our mohel, Rabbi Greenberg. 789 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,749 You can call me Rabbi Gigglebird. 790 00:36:47,166 --> 00:36:48,665 The Rabbi does stand-up sometimes 791 00:36:48,666 --> 00:36:50,124 at the Comedy Connection. 792 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:53,915 I may not be able to eat ham, but I can certainly be one! 793 00:36:55,166 --> 00:36:56,624 Cheese puffs, anyone? 794 00:36:56,625 --> 00:36:59,999 Oh, no, we mohels, we prefer those little weenies. 795 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,541 Ba-doomp-pow! 796 00:37:02,541 --> 00:37:04,290 Oh, no... 797 00:37:04,291 --> 00:37:05,749 Listen. Listen. 798 00:37:05,750 --> 00:37:07,707 My services here today are complimentary, 799 00:37:07,708 --> 00:37:09,207 just so you know, all right? 800 00:37:09,208 --> 00:37:11,124 I consider this a mitzvah. All right? 801 00:37:11,125 --> 00:37:12,624 I don't want any money, 802 00:37:12,625 --> 00:37:14,999 but I'm keeping the tip! 803 00:37:16,166 --> 00:37:18,665 - They just keep on coming, huh? - Yeah, they don't stop. 804 00:37:18,666 --> 00:37:20,374 - All right. - You're hungry, I bet. 805 00:37:20,375 --> 00:37:21,375 Always. 806 00:37:21,376 --> 00:37:23,832 Please. You got to fill up before you... Right? 807 00:37:23,833 --> 00:37:26,749 - Go. It's all you, baby. - Yeah, yeah. Go get it. Dig in. 808 00:37:26,750 --> 00:37:28,875 Back off the vodka, lady. 809 00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:31,583 Oh, Jesus Christ. 810 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:35,082 Can I get a gin and tonic? And let's make it a double. 811 00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:36,499 What the fuck is Summerhayes doing here? 812 00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:37,707 I invited him. 813 00:37:37,708 --> 00:37:39,957 - Oh, my God. - Babe, why would you do that? 814 00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:41,374 Because he's your boss. 815 00:37:41,375 --> 00:37:43,790 Yeah. I don't want to hang out with my boss. 816 00:37:43,791 --> 00:37:45,957 Why not? You invited him to the baby shower, shithead. 817 00:37:45,958 --> 00:37:48,999 That's different. This is a cock-cutting ceremony. 818 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,165 I don't want him here. 819 00:37:50,166 --> 00:37:52,749 Jesus Christ, you're being weird. Just go say hi. 820 00:37:52,750 --> 00:37:54,290 Both of you. Go. 821 00:37:54,291 --> 00:37:56,499 Great. This is just great. 822 00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:58,458 Now if Stanicky shits the bed, we lose our jobs. 823 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,291 God, where is he? He should be here by now. 824 00:38:01,791 --> 00:38:03,332 Explain it again. 825 00:38:03,333 --> 00:38:05,790 It's a children's story about these seeds 826 00:38:05,791 --> 00:38:08,332 that are flying in the breeze, 827 00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:11,290 and all they want to do is reach the top of this mountain. 828 00:38:11,291 --> 00:38:15,165 But there's this one little seed who gets blown back 829 00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:17,207 to the bottom of the mountain, 830 00:38:17,208 --> 00:38:19,332 and she's all like, "Fuck!" 831 00:38:19,333 --> 00:38:22,749 But when it starts to rain, all the water will start 832 00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:26,874 to flow down the side of the mountain straight to her. 833 00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:29,499 So she'll sprout and she'll grow and grow 834 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:30,915 to be the biggest tree of all, 835 00:38:30,916 --> 00:38:33,332 even bigger than the ones on top of the mountain. 836 00:38:33,333 --> 00:38:34,957 The message being, 837 00:38:34,958 --> 00:38:38,541 you can be great in life, no matter where you start. 838 00:38:40,916 --> 00:38:42,499 Hot, wet shit. 839 00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:44,207 What-what... what are you talking about? 840 00:38:44,208 --> 00:38:45,874 Come on, man, you're not a farmer. 841 00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:47,957 What the hell do you know about seeds, right? 842 00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:49,457 And the message is absurd. 843 00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:53,499 Poor kids turn into trees? It doesn't make any sense. 844 00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:54,582 - You're right. - Right? 845 00:38:54,583 --> 00:38:55,832 It is stupid. It's stupid! 846 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,665 What the fuck was I thinking, man? Yeah. 847 00:38:57,666 --> 00:38:58,832 I should just give up. 848 00:38:58,833 --> 00:39:00,915 Whoa. No. That's not what I said. 849 00:39:00,916 --> 00:39:02,540 I said this is crap, 850 00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,290 because it's not authentic. 851 00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:06,083 Doesn't mean you gotta give up. 852 00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,874 Let me tell you a story, cowboy. 853 00:39:08,875 --> 00:39:10,290 A few years back, 854 00:39:10,291 --> 00:39:12,707 I had an X-rated dog show at the Showboat. 855 00:39:12,708 --> 00:39:15,624 I had these two mutts that could bang missionary style. 856 00:39:15,625 --> 00:39:17,957 Oh, yeah, you heard me right. Missionary! 857 00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:19,999 Face-to-face. Real deal. 858 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,540 It was kind of touching, actually. 859 00:39:21,541 --> 00:39:22,999 Then Atlantic City gets all woke 860 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,540 and they won't let 'em pump on stage anymore. 861 00:39:25,541 --> 00:39:28,332 I tried doing the show with two guys in dog suits, but... 862 00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:29,707 the magic just wasn't there. 863 00:39:29,708 --> 00:39:30,750 You know what I mean? 864 00:39:32,291 --> 00:39:34,457 - No. - My point is, I failed. 865 00:39:34,458 --> 00:39:36,374 But did I give up? Heck no. 866 00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,332 I just had to ask myself, what do I love? 867 00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:39,333 And then it was easy - 868 00:39:39,334 --> 00:39:41,582 singing, performing and telling filthy jokes. 869 00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:44,540 And that is when Rock Hard Rod was born. 870 00:39:44,541 --> 00:39:47,665 You, sir, have just found out 871 00:39:47,666 --> 00:39:51,332 your dogs can no longer bang missionary style. 872 00:39:51,333 --> 00:39:54,332 Now you got to ask yourself, what do you love? 873 00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,207 - What do I love? - Yeah. 874 00:39:56,208 --> 00:39:57,791 Ah... 875 00:39:58,458 --> 00:40:00,790 Yeah, I... I like ceramic owls? 876 00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:03,415 Uh... I love fog. 877 00:40:03,416 --> 00:40:05,165 I love fog! I love it. 878 00:40:05,166 --> 00:40:07,374 Er, is there anything that you like 879 00:40:07,375 --> 00:40:10,916 that a regular human being can relate to on any level? 880 00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:14,249 - I like Christmas. - Christmas, Christmas! 881 00:40:14,250 --> 00:40:16,582 Perfect! Yes! Everybody loves Christmas. 882 00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:18,165 Yeah, well, not everybody. 883 00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:20,540 Keith is not a big fan of it these days. 884 00:40:20,541 --> 00:40:22,790 - He doesn't love Christmas? - Well, he used to love it. 885 00:40:22,791 --> 00:40:23,791 But, I mean, 886 00:40:23,792 --> 00:40:25,915 ever since his parents found out that we were dating, 887 00:40:25,916 --> 00:40:27,582 they haven't really invited him over. 888 00:40:27,583 --> 00:40:30,040 - That sucks. - Yeah. 889 00:40:30,041 --> 00:40:31,582 Which is their loss, you know. 890 00:40:31,583 --> 00:40:33,207 No "Jerky of the Month Club" for them. 891 00:40:33,208 --> 00:40:34,832 Ha. 892 00:40:34,833 --> 00:40:37,249 I just wish there was a holiday tradition for us. 893 00:40:37,250 --> 00:40:40,499 You know, like Christmas is the gayest holiday anyway, man. 894 00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:42,708 You know, you bedazzle a tree with tinsel. 895 00:40:43,416 --> 00:40:45,790 And why does Santa have to be such a fat shit? 896 00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:48,040 Couldn't he be ripped? Couldn't he be jacked? You know? 897 00:40:48,041 --> 00:40:49,874 Can the elves have ordered him a Peloton 898 00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:51,375 or a yoga mat or something? 899 00:40:52,583 --> 00:40:53,999 Ra-pum-pum-pum. 900 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,083 Now that is authentic! 901 00:40:57,125 --> 00:40:59,708 Yeah. A Christmas story for us. 902 00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:03,874 Thanks for coming, Ted. 903 00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:06,499 I know a bris isn't exactly your cup of tea. 904 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,999 Oh, no, we're happy that you invited us, JT. 905 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,374 This is exactly what Ted needed. 906 00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:14,707 He's been so obsessed with this World River merger. 907 00:41:14,708 --> 00:41:16,207 Yeah. 908 00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:19,332 Circumcision parties are my go-to when I need to relax. 909 00:41:21,083 --> 00:41:22,749 Where's Gary? I thought he was coming. 910 00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:24,249 He has his improv class at Trinity, 911 00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,707 but I think he'll be here soon. 912 00:41:25,708 --> 00:41:27,290 Have you guys seen his new commercial? 913 00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:28,915 Yeah. Yeah. 914 00:41:28,916 --> 00:41:31,290 - He got off. - Who got off? 915 00:41:31,291 --> 00:41:32,915 My big story I'm covering this week. 916 00:41:32,916 --> 00:41:34,749 You're covering a trial? 917 00:41:34,750 --> 00:41:36,540 No, real reporters get to do that. 918 00:41:36,541 --> 00:41:38,832 I'm covering a vicious duck sitting on a golf ball 919 00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:40,415 - at Wannamoisett Country Club. - Oh. 920 00:41:40,416 --> 00:41:41,916 You're just paying your dues, right? 921 00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:44,749 You're going to get a shot at the big story soon. 922 00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:45,750 Thanks, babe. 923 00:41:45,751 --> 00:41:47,333 He's not coming, is he? 924 00:41:47,916 --> 00:41:50,540 - Who would you be referring to? - Oh, don't give me that. 925 00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:53,082 Ricky Stanicky. Where the hell is he? 926 00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:55,957 Oh, he'll be here. This is just typical Ricky. 927 00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:57,540 He's... he's always late. 928 00:41:57,541 --> 00:42:00,082 Hmm. Well, I'll believe it when I see it. 929 00:42:00,083 --> 00:42:03,540 Leona, come on. Why wouldn't he come? 930 00:42:03,541 --> 00:42:05,124 Probably for the same reason 931 00:42:05,125 --> 00:42:08,707 that he didn't bother to show up for JT and Susan's wedding. 932 00:42:08,708 --> 00:42:10,915 Sorry he didn't think my wedding was more important 933 00:42:10,916 --> 00:42:13,332 than digging out hurricane victims in the Bahamas. 934 00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:14,540 Ooh. 935 00:42:14,541 --> 00:42:17,374 Ha, ha! The old Bahamian hurricane. 936 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,999 Jackie, tell me about Ricky Stanicky. 937 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,457 I mean, if they were such good friends, 938 00:42:22,458 --> 00:42:25,250 you must have met him a bunch when they were kids, right? 939 00:42:25,833 --> 00:42:28,790 Oh, sure. I... I met all of JT's friends. 940 00:42:28,791 --> 00:42:30,082 Really? 941 00:42:30,083 --> 00:42:33,000 Do you have any specific memories of him? 942 00:42:33,541 --> 00:42:37,415 Well, I remember he was a handful, that's for sure. 943 00:42:37,416 --> 00:42:39,582 I mean, every time this one got in trouble, 944 00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:41,124 Stanicky was somehow behind it. 945 00:42:41,125 --> 00:42:43,124 He was a... a little devil, that Ricky. 946 00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:44,874 - Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Wow! 947 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:47,249 That doesn't sound like the same guy 948 00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:52,416 who works for Bono in Africa and builds orphanages in Peru. 949 00:42:53,708 --> 00:42:55,249 That's 'cause he's born again. 950 00:42:55,250 --> 00:42:57,499 - Ah. - He had that epiphany in rehab. 951 00:42:57,500 --> 00:42:59,124 Remember I told you about that? 952 00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:01,207 - Mm-hm. - Yeah, people change, Leona. 953 00:43:01,208 --> 00:43:03,249 Why are you grilling my mom? She's not on trial. 954 00:43:03,250 --> 00:43:04,707 Because I want you to admit 955 00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:07,041 that Ricky Stanicky does not exist. 956 00:43:10,166 --> 00:43:12,874 Hey, mishpocha! 957 00:43:12,875 --> 00:43:15,040 Let's get down to bris-ness! 958 00:43:16,666 --> 00:43:18,790 Oh, yes! Yeah-ah! 959 00:43:18,791 --> 00:43:20,208 You made it! 960 00:43:20,833 --> 00:43:22,624 The boys are back! 961 00:43:24,958 --> 00:43:26,999 - All right. - Jackie! 962 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,332 Ricky? 963 00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:31,499 Oh, you look unbelievable. You're still a MILF. 964 00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:33,290 Oh, my God. 965 00:43:33,291 --> 00:43:36,250 Look at you. Oh, you haven't changed a bit. 966 00:43:37,291 --> 00:43:38,957 The mystery man in the flesh. 967 00:43:38,958 --> 00:43:41,457 Well, churn my butter with a slippery stick. 968 00:43:41,458 --> 00:43:42,957 I finally get to meet Erin Harford. 969 00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:44,624 You're even more beautiful in person 970 00:43:44,625 --> 00:43:46,374 than the pictures Dean's always sending me. 971 00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:47,749 You send him pictures of me? 972 00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,290 Oh, tasteful, of course. 973 00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:50,374 Even the nudes. 974 00:43:50,375 --> 00:43:52,207 Seriously, the guy doesn't shut up about you. 975 00:43:52,208 --> 00:43:54,165 What were you saying about her last week? 976 00:43:54,166 --> 00:43:55,749 It was, um... 977 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,540 Ah! The more I look at her, 978 00:43:57,541 --> 00:43:59,540 the more I realize how much there is to see. 979 00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:01,790 - Aw. Babe. - And who do we have here? 980 00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:04,332 Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! 981 00:44:04,333 --> 00:44:06,499 I'm Carly, I'm Erin's cousin. 982 00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:08,124 No need to shout, bullhorn! 983 00:44:09,666 --> 00:44:12,832 And I am the woman who had to give birth all alone 984 00:44:12,833 --> 00:44:15,249 because you tricked her husband into going to Albany. 985 00:44:15,250 --> 00:44:17,040 Oh, my God, Susan, I'm so sorry. 986 00:44:18,125 --> 00:44:20,249 You know how much grief your old man's been giving me? 987 00:44:20,250 --> 00:44:22,665 For the record, I had no idea it was your baby shower. 988 00:44:22,666 --> 00:44:24,374 I just wanted to celebrate my new lease on life 989 00:44:24,375 --> 00:44:25,666 with my oldest, dearest friends. 990 00:44:26,541 --> 00:44:28,332 Then little Whitaker comes along... 991 00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:29,833 God, I love that name. 992 00:44:31,041 --> 00:44:33,499 And then I just ruin everything. 993 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:36,374 I just... Again, my sincerest apologies. 994 00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:37,957 No, you know, it... 995 00:44:37,958 --> 00:44:40,415 It's okay. I know you've been through a lot, so... 996 00:44:40,416 --> 00:44:42,707 Hell, yeah, they lopped off one of my nuts, for starters. 997 00:44:42,708 --> 00:44:45,707 Oh, you are still a handful! 998 00:44:45,708 --> 00:44:47,332 Well, half a handful. 999 00:44:47,333 --> 00:44:48,707 Ricky... 1000 00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:51,165 Okay, Rico! Hey, let's go show you around. Huh? 1001 00:44:51,166 --> 00:44:52,790 Aren't you going to Introduce me? 1002 00:44:52,791 --> 00:44:54,499 Uh, we'll be right back. 1003 00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:56,749 Stay away from that woman at all costs, okay? 1004 00:44:56,750 --> 00:44:58,833 That's Susan's mother. She's bad news. 1005 00:45:02,375 --> 00:45:03,875 Jesus. 1006 00:45:05,041 --> 00:45:07,832 Hey, if anyone asks about the shaking, just say, 1007 00:45:07,833 --> 00:45:09,832 "I have low blood sugar and I had a Red Bull." 1008 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,166 Stopping you there. 1009 00:45:11,791 --> 00:45:13,750 I don't appreciate line readings. 1010 00:45:15,125 --> 00:45:16,332 What? 1011 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:18,040 So, I lift up the mosquito net 1012 00:45:18,041 --> 00:45:20,207 and, sure enough, Bono's in there. 1013 00:45:20,208 --> 00:45:22,207 Plowing Mrs. Bono like a potato field. 1014 00:45:22,208 --> 00:45:23,749 Really? The Bono? 1015 00:45:23,750 --> 00:45:27,415 Yeah. Givin' the missus the old Irish shillelagh, as it were. 1016 00:45:27,416 --> 00:45:28,915 So I'm standing there embarrassed. 1017 00:45:28,916 --> 00:45:30,624 And then they go, "It's okay. 1018 00:45:30,625 --> 00:45:31,874 "Watch us, we like it." 1019 00:45:31,875 --> 00:45:33,290 Is that an Irish thing? 1020 00:45:33,291 --> 00:45:36,374 I don't think so. But I wouldn't put it past them. 1021 00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:39,249 Hey, the guy saved ten million people from starving. 1022 00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:40,999 So, if he wants to let people 1023 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,874 watch him corn-beef his wife's cabbage, who am I to stop him? 1024 00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:47,124 You know who has the best corn-beef in town? Geoff's. 1025 00:45:47,125 --> 00:45:49,165 And it isn't even really a deli. 1026 00:45:49,166 --> 00:45:51,124 I don't think that's the kind of corn-beef 1027 00:45:51,125 --> 00:45:52,499 he's talking about, Ginny. 1028 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:54,540 Oh, man, all this food talk is making me hungry. 1029 00:45:54,541 --> 00:45:56,499 - Ricky, have you eaten yet? - Dean. 1030 00:45:56,500 --> 00:46:00,915 You haven't introduced me to Indiana Jones here. 1031 00:46:00,916 --> 00:46:02,499 Yeah, of course. 1032 00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:05,082 Ted, this is Ricky Stanicky, my good friend. 1033 00:46:05,083 --> 00:46:06,874 Uh, Ricky, this is Ted Summerhayes, my boss. 1034 00:46:06,875 --> 00:46:07,957 Ted, nice to meet you. 1035 00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:10,165 Digging the suit and the seedlings, man. 1036 00:46:10,166 --> 00:46:11,540 The seedlings? 1037 00:46:11,541 --> 00:46:13,207 The hair plugs. They're new, right? 1038 00:46:13,208 --> 00:46:14,415 What? 1039 00:46:14,416 --> 00:46:17,249 No. This is my hair. 1040 00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:20,290 Ha! Yeah, just like a doll's hair is her hair. 1041 00:46:20,291 --> 00:46:21,583 That's good. That's good. 1042 00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:24,499 So, Ted, you're one of those big banker guys, eh? 1043 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,707 One of those guys out there 1044 00:46:25,708 --> 00:46:27,374 helping those billionaires get richer 1045 00:46:27,375 --> 00:46:29,749 and then floating around on your big swinging super-yachts, 1046 00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:31,707 leaving everybody else struggling to make ends meet 1047 00:46:31,708 --> 00:46:32,708 in their little dinghies. 1048 00:46:32,709 --> 00:46:35,499 - No. No, no, no. Not at all... - First of all, 1049 00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:39,290 we sell financial services to independent investors, 1050 00:46:39,291 --> 00:46:41,582 and anyone who's willing to pay for them 1051 00:46:41,583 --> 00:46:44,040 is welcome to share in the benefits. 1052 00:46:44,041 --> 00:46:46,124 Whatever helps you sleep at night, Ebenezer. 1053 00:46:46,125 --> 00:46:48,082 Uh, if memory serves me, 1054 00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:49,332 Ebenezer Scrooge ends up 1055 00:46:49,333 --> 00:46:50,832 becoming the hero of that story. 1056 00:46:50,833 --> 00:46:53,082 - It's Ricky, right? - Yeah. 1057 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:57,374 I'm wondering, Ricky, are you always such a bust-out asshole, 1058 00:46:57,375 --> 00:46:58,790 right out of the gate? 1059 00:46:58,791 --> 00:47:00,415 Only when I'm talking to the type of guy 1060 00:47:00,416 --> 00:47:02,582 who can make a real difference in this world. 1061 00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:04,915 Ted, Ricky's been working overseas 1062 00:47:04,916 --> 00:47:07,040 for the last decade on non-profits. 1063 00:47:07,041 --> 00:47:10,333 So at least he walks the walk. 1064 00:47:10,958 --> 00:47:13,207 Well, that's nice, 1065 00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:16,540 but he's obviously getting his financial information 1066 00:47:16,541 --> 00:47:17,874 from 'The Huffington Post'. 1067 00:47:17,875 --> 00:47:19,457 No, actually, I've been reading 1068 00:47:19,458 --> 00:47:20,915 the 'San Francisco Chronicle' lately. 1069 00:47:20,916 --> 00:47:21,916 I've been following 1070 00:47:21,917 --> 00:47:23,332 your potential merger with World River. 1071 00:47:23,333 --> 00:47:24,875 It's interesting, unexpected. 1072 00:47:26,041 --> 00:47:27,957 Okay, hey, uh, there's a ton of people inside 1073 00:47:27,958 --> 00:47:30,249 - that still wanna meet you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1074 00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:31,500 I'd like to hear this. 1075 00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:34,499 Unexpected, how? 1076 00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:36,374 Oh, come on. 1077 00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:38,749 They're the yin, and you got that big old yang. 1078 00:47:38,750 --> 00:47:40,249 It's a perfect fit. 1079 00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:42,165 In what way? 1080 00:47:42,166 --> 00:47:45,999 Well, you're old school. They're new age. 1081 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,665 You got common sense, but they got radical new ideas. 1082 00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:50,165 For my money, I'm going common sense 1083 00:47:50,166 --> 00:47:51,624 over radical new ideas all day. 1084 00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:53,749 I'm sure the people in Portland and San Francisco agree. 1085 00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:55,249 And that's what makes you guys great. 1086 00:47:55,250 --> 00:47:56,999 But they're pretty good too. 1087 00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,041 But, together, you guys would be unstoppable. 1088 00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:03,540 This merger could make a real difference in this world, Ted. 1089 00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:04,791 A real difference. 1090 00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:07,916 Yin and yang, huh? 1091 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,666 Oh, don't mind if I do. Thanks. 1092 00:48:16,916 --> 00:48:19,207 Where the hell did you hear about the World River deal? 1093 00:48:19,208 --> 00:48:20,749 They were all over your Twitter. 1094 00:48:20,750 --> 00:48:22,124 I just did a little research. 1095 00:48:22,125 --> 00:48:23,832 What are you doing on my Twitter? 1096 00:48:23,833 --> 00:48:25,707 Dean, I told you I'm an actor. 1097 00:48:25,708 --> 00:48:27,040 When I walk into a room, 1098 00:48:27,041 --> 00:48:28,665 I want to know exactly where I came from 1099 00:48:28,666 --> 00:48:30,874 and what every single person in that room's been doing. 1100 00:48:30,875 --> 00:48:32,665 That's what all the greats do. 1101 00:48:32,666 --> 00:48:34,165 Matt Damon actually bought a zoo 1102 00:48:34,166 --> 00:48:35,582 before he filmed 'We Bought a Zoo'. 1103 00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:37,040 I don't think that's true. 1104 00:48:37,041 --> 00:48:39,000 You don't believe me? Take it up with Reddit. 1105 00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,582 Oh, if you'll excuse me, 1106 00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:43,124 I got to go have a word with Keith. 1107 00:48:43,125 --> 00:48:45,583 What? How do you know Keith?! 1108 00:48:46,666 --> 00:48:50,416 We're in a weird love-triangle thing. 1109 00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:55,540 Look, all I'm saying is I hope there's no hard feelings. 1110 00:48:55,541 --> 00:48:57,458 Because let's face it, you won. 1111 00:48:58,291 --> 00:48:59,540 But I'm happy for you. 1112 00:48:59,541 --> 00:49:01,165 You guys make a fabulous couple. 1113 00:49:01,166 --> 00:49:03,041 I'm done with his ass. 1114 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,165 Look, I still love the guy, 1115 00:49:07,166 --> 00:49:08,999 but I'm tired of working 60 hours a week 1116 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,915 while he sits around not doing anything to improve himself. 1117 00:49:11,916 --> 00:49:13,208 I just... 1118 00:49:13,875 --> 00:49:16,083 I can't be with a person like that anymore. 1119 00:49:17,166 --> 00:49:19,165 What... what about his writing? That's work. 1120 00:49:19,166 --> 00:49:20,957 What writing? 1121 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,583 The book he's working on. 1122 00:49:23,208 --> 00:49:26,000 He never told me he was writing a book. 1123 00:49:26,958 --> 00:49:29,290 He sure looks a lot older than you guys. 1124 00:49:29,291 --> 00:49:30,540 - Really? - Mmm. 1125 00:49:30,541 --> 00:49:32,499 Yeah, well, he is, by a couple years. 1126 00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:35,374 You know, we were like little brothers to him. 1127 00:49:35,375 --> 00:49:39,791 Hmm, no, I mean, like more than a couple of years. 1128 00:49:40,375 --> 00:49:41,999 Well, it's because of the drugs - he... 1129 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,999 You know, he was a huge partier, back in the day. 1130 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,790 I mean, like hard drugs. 1131 00:49:45,791 --> 00:49:48,083 Huffing glue. Like, the works. 1132 00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:50,874 I mean, that'll suck the youth right out of your face. 1133 00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:51,875 It does. 1134 00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:53,915 Yeah, that was all before he went on 1135 00:49:53,916 --> 00:49:55,791 - the straight and narrow. - Hmm. 1136 00:49:56,416 --> 00:49:58,915 Oh, look at them. Look how happy they are. 1137 00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:01,207 - I told you. - It's an easy thing. 1138 00:50:01,208 --> 00:50:03,332 - I don't see happiness. - What? 1139 00:50:03,333 --> 00:50:05,624 I see fear and anxiety. 1140 00:50:05,625 --> 00:50:07,332 Fear of what? 1141 00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:08,999 Of the responsibility of it all. 1142 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,499 What do they even get out of it? 1143 00:50:10,500 --> 00:50:12,832 What do they get out of having a family? 1144 00:50:12,833 --> 00:50:14,124 - Yeah. - Come on. 1145 00:50:14,125 --> 00:50:17,374 I mean, I get it on paper. Sure, right. 1146 00:50:17,375 --> 00:50:20,665 But in reality, having a kid is fear and anxiety 1147 00:50:20,666 --> 00:50:22,625 with periodic moments of crushing pain. 1148 00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:25,707 And then you get bitter and resentful 1149 00:50:25,708 --> 00:50:28,333 and eventually just... mean. 1150 00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:32,541 At least that's how it was at my house. 1151 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,499 You realize that's the most you've ever 1152 00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:37,000 told me about your childhood? 1153 00:50:38,625 --> 00:50:41,040 Look, he is kind of lost right now, 1154 00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:43,291 but just give him a little time, he'll figure it out. 1155 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:46,291 I've given him plenty of time. 1156 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,749 I think you need to step back in, Ricky. 1157 00:50:49,750 --> 00:50:51,415 Be there for him. 1158 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:53,499 Ease the blow a little when I drop him. 1159 00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:55,415 Oh, hey, Keith, slow down. 1160 00:50:55,416 --> 00:50:57,124 Take it from me, relationships like yours, 1161 00:50:57,125 --> 00:50:58,624 they don't come around that often. 1162 00:50:58,625 --> 00:50:59,625 They just don't. 1163 00:50:59,626 --> 00:51:01,832 My own mother was married six times. 1164 00:51:01,833 --> 00:51:03,457 She never found happiness. 1165 00:51:03,458 --> 00:51:04,874 An incredible sex life, 1166 00:51:04,875 --> 00:51:06,791 but she was filled up with everything but joy. 1167 00:51:07,583 --> 00:51:09,790 You really want to give up on this? 1168 00:51:09,791 --> 00:51:11,625 May not come back around. 1169 00:51:16,166 --> 00:51:17,541 Ricky! 1170 00:51:18,416 --> 00:51:20,915 I understand you spent a lot of time in Kenya 1171 00:51:20,916 --> 00:51:23,040 working with the Give Green organization. 1172 00:51:23,041 --> 00:51:25,832 Yeah, yeah, good peeps. 1173 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:27,374 Green peeps, yeah. 1174 00:51:27,375 --> 00:51:29,915 I'm interested in what your experience was there, 1175 00:51:29,916 --> 00:51:31,874 because, you know, I've been reading up on them 1176 00:51:31,875 --> 00:51:34,999 and they're a really intriguing organization. 1177 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,165 Yeah, you know what? 1178 00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:38,457 I was just trying to find one of those cheese-puff trays. 1179 00:51:38,458 --> 00:51:40,749 - I'll show you where they are. - Right, but before you do, 1180 00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:42,290 can you tell me about Charlie Sennet? 1181 00:51:42,291 --> 00:51:43,291 Huh? 1182 00:51:43,292 --> 00:51:47,124 Charlie Sennet, the journalist who started Give Green 1183 00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:48,415 and is still hands on. 1184 00:51:48,416 --> 00:51:50,624 I mean, did you get to meet him? 1185 00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:52,499 What do you think of his mission statement? 1186 00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:53,832 Is it tenable? 1187 00:51:53,833 --> 00:51:56,540 Oh, yeah, of course it's tenable. 1188 00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:57,832 Elevenable, twelveable... 1189 00:51:57,833 --> 00:51:59,499 I mean, it's infinite really, right? 1190 00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:00,500 Ha-ha. 1191 00:52:00,501 --> 00:52:01,999 I mean, I'm intrigued by their policy 1192 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,832 of direct charitable donations. 1193 00:52:03,833 --> 00:52:05,332 You know, personally, I think 1194 00:52:05,333 --> 00:52:07,582 donations need to be conditional. 1195 00:52:07,583 --> 00:52:09,500 What do you think? 1196 00:52:10,166 --> 00:52:11,332 Uh, you know what? 1197 00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:12,874 It's group photo time. Group photo time. 1198 00:52:12,875 --> 00:52:14,790 Group photo! Come on, let's make some memories! 1199 00:52:14,791 --> 00:52:15,832 Yeah. Yeah. 1200 00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:17,957 You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you, Ricky? 1201 00:52:17,958 --> 00:52:20,374 Maybe he just doesn't want to talk shop at a bris, Leona. 1202 00:52:20,375 --> 00:52:22,916 Or maybe he's a fraud. Are you a fraud, sir? 1203 00:52:36,291 --> 00:52:37,957 I'll tell you what's fraudulent, Leona. 1204 00:52:37,958 --> 00:52:38,958 Yeah? 1205 00:52:38,959 --> 00:52:40,790 The perception that the program at Give Green 1206 00:52:40,791 --> 00:52:42,165 needs to be conditional. 1207 00:52:42,166 --> 00:52:44,124 They choose to offer unconditional cash transfers 1208 00:52:44,125 --> 00:52:45,207 for two reasons. 1209 00:52:45,208 --> 00:52:47,874 First, empowering poor people to make their own choices? 1210 00:52:47,875 --> 00:52:50,040 Well, that advances their core value of respect. 1211 00:52:50,041 --> 00:52:52,040 Second, imposing conditions requires 1212 00:52:52,041 --> 00:52:54,457 expensive monitoring and enforcement structures 1213 00:52:54,458 --> 00:52:57,166 that could raise administrative costs as high as 63%. 1214 00:52:57,666 --> 00:52:59,749 The existing empirical evidence comparing the impact 1215 00:52:59,750 --> 00:53:02,124 of conditional to unconditional cash transfers 1216 00:53:02,125 --> 00:53:03,874 shows that these added costs 1217 00:53:03,875 --> 00:53:06,166 simply do not produce commensurate benefits. 1218 00:53:08,125 --> 00:53:10,458 I wonder where those cheese-puff trays went off to. 1219 00:53:19,166 --> 00:53:20,790 Did you want a cheese puff, Leona? 1220 00:53:22,041 --> 00:53:23,541 No, thank you. 1221 00:53:26,416 --> 00:53:27,582 Huh, so what are these? 1222 00:53:27,583 --> 00:53:29,165 Glazed dates stuffed with Asiago cheese 1223 00:53:29,166 --> 00:53:30,166 and pickled herring. 1224 00:53:30,167 --> 00:53:31,874 Don't mind if I don't. 1225 00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:32,958 No problem. 1226 00:53:34,625 --> 00:53:36,665 - That was amazing. - Unbelievable. 1227 00:53:36,666 --> 00:53:38,457 Where the hell did you learn all that stuff? 1228 00:53:38,458 --> 00:53:40,332 Gotta buy the zoo, baby. 1229 00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:41,957 What? Who's that...? 1230 00:53:41,958 --> 00:53:43,541 Gary Polisner's here. 1231 00:53:44,041 --> 00:53:48,040 $8,000. It's on lease, but that's how much it's worth. 1232 00:53:48,041 --> 00:53:49,207 Oh. 1233 00:53:49,208 --> 00:53:50,750 Hey, Polisner! 1234 00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:54,707 Hey! Well you move along, I'll talk to you later on. 1235 00:53:54,708 --> 00:53:56,332 Get over here, hey? 1236 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:58,540 Had to park my Cybertruck in the next county. 1237 00:53:58,541 --> 00:54:00,415 What, you too cheap for a valet? 1238 00:54:01,708 --> 00:54:04,040 - Crap! I know that guy. - What? What guy? 1239 00:54:04,041 --> 00:54:05,791 The guy standing with Hairy Krishna. 1240 00:54:06,625 --> 00:54:08,415 I saved you a bagel with lox. 1241 00:54:08,416 --> 00:54:10,958 I asked for an everything bagel. That's a nothing bagel. 1242 00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:13,499 Hey, you got any booze in this place? 1243 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:14,500 Yeah. 1244 00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:16,457 Let me guess, it's a cash bar. 1245 00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:17,957 Oh, shit! 1246 00:54:17,958 --> 00:54:19,540 Go up the stairs. Go into the garage. 1247 00:54:19,541 --> 00:54:21,582 Just get in there. Don't come out until I tell you. 1248 00:54:21,583 --> 00:54:22,957 All right? Go, go, go, go, go. 1249 00:54:22,958 --> 00:54:24,290 Fuck. 1250 00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:26,249 And as you can tell, I actually don't sweat... 1251 00:54:26,250 --> 00:54:27,749 What the fuck are you saying? 1252 00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:29,707 Ricky knows Polisner. 1253 00:54:29,708 --> 00:54:31,790 - How? - How the hell do I know? 1254 00:54:31,791 --> 00:54:34,124 They're both actors. Maybe they crossed paths somehow. 1255 00:54:34,125 --> 00:54:35,749 We got to get Polisner out of here. 1256 00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:37,208 He just got here. 1257 00:54:38,625 --> 00:54:39,874 Goddamn it. 1258 00:54:39,875 --> 00:54:41,582 We could put him in a K-hole. 1259 00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:42,625 What's that? 1260 00:54:43,125 --> 00:54:44,375 Dose him with ketamine. 1261 00:54:44,875 --> 00:54:47,332 Yeah, great idea. I'll just run down to CVS and grab a bottle. 1262 00:54:47,333 --> 00:54:48,666 No need. 1263 00:54:49,958 --> 00:54:51,916 Why the hell do you have ketamine? 1264 00:54:53,333 --> 00:54:56,583 Well, sometimes after a hard day, you... 1265 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:58,874 You K-hole yourself. 1266 00:54:58,875 --> 00:55:01,040 I could see that. Where do you get these things? 1267 00:55:01,041 --> 00:55:02,582 - My grandmother died. - Guys! 1268 00:55:02,583 --> 00:55:03,957 We're not K-holing anyone. 1269 00:55:03,958 --> 00:55:06,082 Stop being such a fucking wang, Dean. Okay? 1270 00:55:06,083 --> 00:55:07,624 We're going to get him a little drowsy 1271 00:55:07,625 --> 00:55:09,249 and then put him in a cab. 1272 00:55:09,250 --> 00:55:10,540 Are you guys serious right now? 1273 00:55:10,541 --> 00:55:12,290 You want to drug the Red Robin guy? 1274 00:55:12,291 --> 00:55:14,832 What other fucking choice do we have? 1275 00:55:14,833 --> 00:55:18,040 "Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah!" 1276 00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:20,874 First take. Everyone applauded. That's the one they used, too. 1277 00:55:22,833 --> 00:55:25,832 Fuck it. Let's K-hole the prick. 1278 00:55:25,833 --> 00:55:28,624 - This is it. - Yep, let's go. Let's go. 1279 00:55:30,125 --> 00:55:31,499 - All right. - No way! 1280 00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,665 That's right, I hit. That's right, I hit. 1281 00:55:33,666 --> 00:55:35,582 - Let's go for two. - He's got you believing. 1282 00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:36,874 Come on, baby. Come on! 1283 00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:38,290 Bad throw. Bad throw. 1284 00:55:38,291 --> 00:55:40,165 Bad throw! Dude, your foot came off the couch. 1285 00:55:40,166 --> 00:55:42,624 - Oh, hey, Gare. - Oh, hey, Dean, what's up? 1286 00:55:42,625 --> 00:55:45,707 Hey, uh, you guys seen my Red Robin commercial yet? 1287 00:55:45,708 --> 00:55:47,790 - We did. Yeah, we did. - Yeah. Shit went national. 1288 00:55:47,791 --> 00:55:48,832 Yeah, I love that. 1289 00:55:48,833 --> 00:55:51,415 Thinking of getting me a sweet kimono dragon. 1290 00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:53,499 Isn't it 'komodo'? 1291 00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:55,415 No, not the one I'm getting, right? 1292 00:55:55,416 --> 00:55:57,749 - Oh, yeah! - Off market. All cash. 1293 00:55:57,750 --> 00:56:00,874 - What are you losers doing? - We're playing a game 1294 00:56:00,875 --> 00:56:02,582 where if you catch three peanuts in a row, 1295 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:04,332 you get 20 bucks from each of us. 1296 00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:05,375 Why, you want in? 1297 00:56:06,125 --> 00:56:07,665 - Fuck yeah! - Oh? 1298 00:56:07,666 --> 00:56:09,249 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Okay. 1299 00:56:09,250 --> 00:56:10,749 Man, I'll kick all your asses. 1300 00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:12,582 Step right up and get behind the hat. 1301 00:56:12,583 --> 00:56:14,541 - No cheating. - I got this. 1302 00:56:15,291 --> 00:56:16,583 - Here we go. - You focused? 1303 00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,749 - Whoa! - Whoa! Boom! 1304 00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:20,915 Wow! 1305 00:56:20,916 --> 00:56:22,457 Relax, Gare. Little bit of luck there. 1306 00:56:22,458 --> 00:56:23,541 - Okay. - Get low. 1307 00:56:25,541 --> 00:56:28,707 - Ohh! Yeah. - Ohh! Yes! 1308 00:56:28,708 --> 00:56:30,749 I'm just as good as Wes at catching nuts in my mouth. 1309 00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:32,832 Oh. Right. 'Cause I'm gay. 1310 00:56:32,833 --> 00:56:33,915 Yeah. 1311 00:56:33,916 --> 00:56:35,583 I'm so happy we're doing this. 1312 00:56:36,166 --> 00:56:37,790 Okay, this one's for all the marbles. 1313 00:56:37,791 --> 00:56:39,915 All right, Gary, let's go, buddy. You ready? 1314 00:56:39,916 --> 00:56:41,750 Ready? One, two... 1315 00:56:42,416 --> 00:56:44,333 Three... 1316 00:57:06,500 --> 00:57:08,500 Ba-doomp-pow! All net! 1317 00:57:11,166 --> 00:57:13,041 I think I ate a bad one. 1318 00:57:13,666 --> 00:57:14,833 Bitter. 1319 00:57:15,958 --> 00:57:17,499 My sweet boy. 1320 00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:20,999 May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh. 1321 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:24,415 May God bless you and watch over you. 1322 00:57:24,416 --> 00:57:26,165 Shouldn't we be stopping this? 1323 00:57:26,166 --> 00:57:29,083 Don't worry, we got about a half hour before it kicks in. 1324 00:57:31,958 --> 00:57:34,499 Hey, I figured out how I know him. 1325 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:36,582 He's in those Red Robin commercials. 1326 00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:39,790 "Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah!" 1327 00:57:39,791 --> 00:57:41,707 Dude, that was great. You should be an actor. 1328 00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:43,499 So you guys have never met before? 1329 00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:45,666 - No, but... - Yeah, just a big fan. 1330 00:57:48,958 --> 00:57:51,458 - All right, it's time. - Okay. 1331 00:57:55,208 --> 00:57:57,540 Oh... 1332 00:57:57,541 --> 00:57:59,165 we're going to need a steak knife. 1333 00:57:59,166 --> 00:58:00,208 Ha! 1334 00:58:01,375 --> 00:58:04,499 Wow! Is this his bris or his bar mitzvah? 1335 00:58:05,666 --> 00:58:08,833 Okay, little vinegar... Whitaker... 1336 00:58:09,875 --> 00:58:14,125 has skanctified us with the... 1337 00:58:14,916 --> 00:58:17,541 commandiments... com... condiments... 1338 00:58:18,625 --> 00:58:20,249 comma... commandments... 1339 00:58:20,250 --> 00:58:22,165 With the commander-ments. 1340 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:24,166 With the commandments. Oy... 1341 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:27,083 He's seems confused. 1342 00:58:28,833 --> 00:58:30,957 What the hell? Is he drunk? 1343 00:58:30,958 --> 00:58:33,582 I don't know. I saw him eat a peanut earlier. 1344 00:58:33,583 --> 00:58:35,082 Maybe he's having a reaction? 1345 00:58:35,083 --> 00:58:36,832 - Man, you said half an hour. - I don't know. 1346 00:58:36,833 --> 00:58:38,583 I think I might have developed a tolerance. 1347 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,500 Okay. 1348 00:58:42,791 --> 00:58:44,707 And he hasht given us 1349 00:58:44,708 --> 00:58:46,665 the command to... 1350 00:58:46,666 --> 00:58:47,957 circumvision! 1351 00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:53,332 Hi, fishy-fishy! Oh, to fishy-fishy! 1352 00:58:53,333 --> 00:58:56,707 Mommy, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. 1353 00:58:56,708 --> 00:58:58,290 Oh, my God! 1354 00:58:58,291 --> 00:59:00,124 Oh, my God! He's allergic to peanuts. 1355 00:59:00,125 --> 00:59:01,332 What did she say? 1356 00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:03,207 She said he's allergic to penis. 1357 00:59:03,208 --> 00:59:04,915 Oh, he's certainly in the wrong business. 1358 00:59:04,916 --> 00:59:06,374 Ba-doomp-pow! 1359 00:59:06,375 --> 00:59:07,915 Oh, my God. 1360 00:59:07,916 --> 00:59:09,915 He's only half circumcised. 1361 00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:11,415 Take the kid to the hospital. 1362 00:59:11,416 --> 00:59:14,290 - Yes, definitely a hospital. - I could call an ambulance. 1363 00:59:14,291 --> 00:59:16,040 No, this has to be done now. 1364 00:59:16,041 --> 00:59:17,665 Let Ricky finish it. 1365 00:59:17,666 --> 00:59:20,165 Ricky? What? No! No. Are you insane? 1366 00:59:20,166 --> 00:59:22,332 He used to work for Bono's foundation in Africa, 1367 00:59:22,333 --> 00:59:23,540 circumcising adults. 1368 00:59:23,541 --> 00:59:24,750 Aw. 1369 00:59:25,458 --> 00:59:28,957 Yeah, he did. But that was so long ago. 1370 00:59:28,958 --> 00:59:30,957 Plus, it's got to be way easier to circumcise 1371 00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:33,165 a gorgeous African penis than a baby penis. 1372 00:59:33,166 --> 00:59:34,790 You would think. 1373 00:59:34,791 --> 00:59:36,166 I can do it. 1374 00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,874 Uh, Ricky... Ricky! This is a baby we're talking about. 1375 00:59:40,875 --> 00:59:43,582 A real baby. Are you sure? 1376 00:59:43,583 --> 00:59:45,999 Yeah. Yeah. It's not like I'm cutting a diamond. 1377 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:49,749 I'm sure I can pull it off. Pun intended. 1378 00:59:49,750 --> 00:59:52,499 No. No! We need a certified mohel, right? 1379 00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:54,540 - Right. - I'll just look one up on Yelp. 1380 00:59:54,541 --> 00:59:56,082 What? No! No Yelping. 1381 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:59,207 No, we already have a mohel. He's already said the tefilah. 1382 00:59:59,208 --> 01:00:01,707 We just need to let Ricky finish it off. 1383 01:00:01,708 --> 01:00:03,749 Mom, no, I'm going to take him to a hospital, 1384 01:00:03,750 --> 01:00:05,249 where doctors work. 1385 01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,165 Does anyone here care that my grandson 1386 01:00:07,166 --> 01:00:09,290 is laying there half circumcised? 1387 01:00:09,291 --> 01:00:11,124 And we're done! 1388 01:00:14,291 --> 01:00:16,000 Just a little off the ol' Tiparillo. 1389 01:00:17,166 --> 01:00:18,582 - Huh. - Who's next? 1390 01:00:18,583 --> 01:00:20,832 Summerhayes, get over here so I can snip off that turtleneck. 1391 01:00:20,833 --> 01:00:23,290 Stanicky, you are unbelievable. 1392 01:00:23,291 --> 01:00:26,040 - All right, this is yours. - No. 1393 01:00:26,041 --> 01:00:29,165 Oh, my God, Ricky! 1394 01:00:35,750 --> 01:00:36,874 Yes! 1395 01:00:36,875 --> 01:00:39,915 Ricky Stanicky, you are even better than advertized. 1396 01:00:39,916 --> 01:00:41,874 Ah, Susan, it's just a pleasure to help you out. 1397 01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:44,207 By the way, the kid's got a good-looking schmeckel on him. 1398 01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:46,608 Real hog barrel. He's going to have some fun with that thing. 1399 01:00:47,376 --> 01:00:48,915 - Takes after his papa. - Yeah. 1400 01:00:48,916 --> 01:00:50,665 Ricky, do you really have to leave already? 1401 01:00:50,666 --> 01:00:52,165 Can't you just stay one more night? 1402 01:00:52,166 --> 01:00:54,458 I would love to, Carlsbad... 1403 01:00:55,541 --> 01:00:56,915 but I got to go. 1404 01:00:56,916 --> 01:00:57,957 Aw... 1405 01:00:57,958 --> 01:01:00,457 He's going to Nairobi to help out with the Ebola situation. 1406 01:01:00,458 --> 01:01:01,499 - Yeah. - Oh. 1407 01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:02,500 Nairobi? 1408 01:01:02,501 --> 01:01:04,790 Yeah. I goes where I's needed. 1409 01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:05,957 Ricky! Ricky! 1410 01:01:05,958 --> 01:01:07,125 Those guys. 1411 01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:10,582 Well... 1412 01:01:13,333 --> 01:01:14,707 Oh, man. 1413 01:01:14,708 --> 01:01:16,332 - Okay, bye, Ricky. - One of a kind. 1414 01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:18,332 - I'll see you inside. - I'll see you in a minute. 1415 01:01:18,333 --> 01:01:19,624 I'm going to help with the baby. 1416 01:01:19,625 --> 01:01:20,666 Okay. 1417 01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:25,082 That was amazing. Incredible. 1418 01:01:25,083 --> 01:01:26,290 You are a legend. 1419 01:01:26,291 --> 01:01:28,290 That was world class, Rod. 1420 01:01:28,291 --> 01:01:29,332 It's Ricky. 1421 01:01:33,291 --> 01:01:35,415 - Yeah... - Right. 1422 01:01:35,416 --> 01:01:37,499 Well, here's your dough. 1423 01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:38,832 Uh, we put some extra in there 1424 01:01:38,833 --> 01:01:40,582 just 'cause you knocked it out of the park, man. 1425 01:01:40,583 --> 01:01:41,583 - Yes you did. - Yeah. 1426 01:01:41,584 --> 01:01:43,082 Where did you learn to circumcise? 1427 01:01:43,083 --> 01:01:46,874 Oh, had a job peeling shrimp at Beefsteak Charlie's. 1428 01:01:46,875 --> 01:01:48,707 Okay. 1429 01:01:50,541 --> 01:01:52,665 Oh, you blowing up, huh? 1430 01:01:52,666 --> 01:01:54,207 Are you going to get that, or...? 1431 01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:58,165 No. That's just a crazy fan. 1432 01:01:58,166 --> 01:01:59,749 Well, now you got three crazy fans. 1433 01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:00,833 That's right. 1434 01:02:01,875 --> 01:02:03,165 You guys take care. 1435 01:02:03,166 --> 01:02:04,665 - You too! - Yeah, you too. 1436 01:02:04,666 --> 01:02:06,499 - We'll be fine. You take care. - Yeah, please. 1437 01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:08,124 If you're ever in Atlantic City... 1438 01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:09,915 - Possibly. - We'll let you know. 1439 01:02:09,916 --> 01:02:11,416 We'll definitely let you know. 1440 01:02:15,375 --> 01:02:16,874 He's good to go. 1441 01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:18,290 - Thanks, Rod. - Thank you. 1442 01:02:18,291 --> 01:02:19,541 It's Ricky. 1443 01:02:25,125 --> 01:02:27,207 - Whew! - Yeah! 1444 01:02:27,208 --> 01:02:29,165 - I'm hungry, man. - Let's feed you. 1445 01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:32,082 I can't believe it worked! 1446 01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:34,457 I can't believe it actually fucking worked. 1447 01:02:34,458 --> 01:02:35,999 As much of a nut job as Rod is... 1448 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,833 - Uh, it's Ricky. - Oh, sorry, Ricky. 1449 01:02:39,916 --> 01:02:42,166 But he came through. He actually came through. 1450 01:02:43,166 --> 01:02:44,457 So that's it, though, right? 1451 01:02:44,458 --> 01:02:45,915 - Yep. - No more Ricky Stanicky. 1452 01:02:45,916 --> 01:02:48,332 No, we are never mentioning his name ever again. 1453 01:02:48,333 --> 01:02:50,374 It was fun while it lasted. Right? Okay. 1454 01:02:50,375 --> 01:02:53,415 But it's time to get off that rollercoaster once and for all. 1455 01:02:53,416 --> 01:02:56,082 Yep. Ride's over, folks! Please exit to your left! 1456 01:02:56,083 --> 01:02:57,665 Please check for your belongings! 1457 01:02:57,666 --> 01:03:00,374 You gotta be this tall to ride this ride. 1458 01:03:00,375 --> 01:03:02,207 Wes, you always do one too many, man. 1459 01:03:02,208 --> 01:03:03,499 Fuck you. Is that one too many? 1460 01:03:03,500 --> 01:03:06,207 - Oh, it is. That is too many. - Guys, guys, guys. Guys. 1461 01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:09,707 For the very last time, a toast... 1462 01:03:09,708 --> 01:03:11,332 To Ricky Stanicky. 1463 01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:13,415 To Ricky Stanicky! 1464 01:03:13,416 --> 01:03:15,124 Best friend we never had. 1465 01:03:18,291 --> 01:03:20,333 - You got some on your arm. - Hoo! 1466 01:03:22,250 --> 01:03:24,540 I mean, it's my newborn son, you know, 1467 01:03:24,541 --> 01:03:26,082 it's like this bonding thing. 1468 01:03:26,083 --> 01:03:27,790 If anybody else had pissed on me, 1469 01:03:27,791 --> 01:03:29,374 I'd be totally grossed out. 1470 01:03:29,375 --> 01:03:30,790 What about if it was Susan? 1471 01:03:30,791 --> 01:03:31,999 Eew! 1472 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:35,083 Hey, guys, grab a cup of coffee and get in here. 1473 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,040 Yes! 1474 01:03:37,041 --> 01:03:39,415 Yesterday was a real kick. 1475 01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:41,124 It was nice spending time with you guys 1476 01:03:41,125 --> 01:03:42,290 outside the boiler room. 1477 01:03:42,291 --> 01:03:43,540 - Mm-hm. - It is. 1478 01:03:43,541 --> 01:03:45,040 Who doesn't love a good bris, right? 1479 01:03:45,041 --> 01:03:47,333 Right! We should do it all the time. 1480 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:51,124 - Have a bris? - Hang out. We should hang... 1481 01:03:51,125 --> 01:03:54,749 By the way, your wife, Miriam, she's amazing. 1482 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,290 - Just fantastic. - A lovely, lovely woman. 1483 01:03:57,291 --> 01:03:59,999 Thanks. She liked you guys too. 1484 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:03,165 And she was really taken with your friend Stanicky. 1485 01:04:03,166 --> 01:04:06,790 He's got brass balls on him, that guy. 1486 01:04:06,791 --> 01:04:08,582 She loved how in my face he was. 1487 01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:09,624 Really? 1488 01:04:09,625 --> 01:04:11,457 Yeah, he'll give it to you, man, that guy. 1489 01:04:11,458 --> 01:04:12,915 - That's Ricky. - Yeah. He'll... 1490 01:04:12,916 --> 01:04:14,999 - Just... he's a character. - He is a character. 1491 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:17,165 - A powerful creature, man. - He sure is. 1492 01:04:17,166 --> 01:04:18,665 That's why I hired him. 1493 01:04:18,666 --> 01:04:20,249 - Mm-hm. - Awesome. 1494 01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:21,750 What the fuck did you just say? 1495 01:04:22,875 --> 01:04:24,750 What the fuck did you just say? 1496 01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:29,249 I just said, "Awesome." 1497 01:04:29,250 --> 01:04:30,749 That's awesome. 1498 01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:32,415 You just said... 1499 01:04:32,416 --> 01:04:34,207 What did you say? Just say it one more time? 1500 01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:38,207 Ricky gave me his number and when I got home, I called him. 1501 01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:40,165 I got him right before he got on the plane too. 1502 01:04:40,166 --> 01:04:41,874 He came over to my place. 1503 01:04:41,875 --> 01:04:44,457 We were up till 4 a.m. banging out a deal. 1504 01:04:44,458 --> 01:04:46,290 The buff guy? 1505 01:04:46,291 --> 01:04:48,374 The guy who wore the safari outfit to my son's bris 1506 01:04:48,375 --> 01:04:49,999 and circumcised him with a cigar cutter? 1507 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,665 - You banged out a deal? - Yes. 1508 01:04:51,666 --> 01:04:53,333 I hired Ricky Stanicky. 1509 01:04:53,958 --> 01:04:56,332 Wow! Wow! 1510 01:04:56,333 --> 01:04:59,499 But do you think... like, he has the experience 1511 01:04:59,500 --> 01:05:01,582 - to be working here? - Yeah, does he, ya think? 1512 01:05:01,583 --> 01:05:03,749 Nah, whatever he lacks in experience, 1513 01:05:03,750 --> 01:05:07,582 he more than makes up for with piss and vinegar. 1514 01:05:07,583 --> 01:05:10,249 I loved his take on the World River deal. 1515 01:05:10,250 --> 01:05:12,082 - But that's... - Not his take, really. 1516 01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:13,957 Yeah, that's just what he read in the news. 1517 01:05:13,958 --> 01:05:15,082 Uh-huh. 1518 01:05:15,083 --> 01:05:17,707 You can stop playing games, guys. 1519 01:05:17,708 --> 01:05:19,999 I know you've been recruiting him. 1520 01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,499 You don't think I noticed 1521 01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:25,832 that JT expensed three rounds of golf at Carnegie Abbey 1522 01:05:25,833 --> 01:05:27,500 in the last couple of months? 1523 01:05:29,416 --> 01:05:31,749 That was two rounds, I think... 1524 01:05:31,750 --> 01:05:33,749 B-because we were... we were... 1525 01:05:33,750 --> 01:05:36,040 - We were recruiting him. - Recruiting him. 1526 01:05:36,041 --> 01:05:37,540 And we decided... 1527 01:05:37,541 --> 01:05:39,415 - Not... not good. - Not Summerhayes material. 1528 01:05:39,416 --> 01:05:40,624 Yeah, he just doesn't... 1529 01:05:40,625 --> 01:05:42,415 I don't think he's right for this place. 1530 01:05:42,416 --> 01:05:44,375 Hey! Speak of the devil. 1531 01:05:52,791 --> 01:05:53,791 Okay. 1532 01:05:53,792 --> 01:05:54,874 - Oh, Philip. - Yeah? 1533 01:05:54,875 --> 01:05:58,165 I was hoping to see something in a mahogany or a birch. 1534 01:05:58,166 --> 01:06:02,333 I believe this is Carolina pine. That's a shit wood. 1535 01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,665 Okay. Uh... shit wood... 1536 01:06:05,666 --> 01:06:07,040 Philip, can we have a sec? 1537 01:06:07,041 --> 01:06:08,583 Yes. Please. 1538 01:06:09,333 --> 01:06:11,290 Oh, and for these walls, 1539 01:06:11,291 --> 01:06:14,291 I'd love to see something in more of a ham color. 1540 01:06:15,166 --> 01:06:16,791 Right. 1541 01:06:19,708 --> 01:06:21,707 What the fuck do you think you're doing here? 1542 01:06:21,708 --> 01:06:24,165 This is unbelievable. How cool is this, right? 1543 01:06:24,166 --> 01:06:26,165 And I didn't even have to fill out an application! 1544 01:06:26,166 --> 01:06:28,540 Application?! This isn't Little Caesar's. 1545 01:06:28,541 --> 01:06:31,332 There's no way for you to act your way through this, okay? 1546 01:06:31,333 --> 01:06:33,540 There's no script for you to follow here. 1547 01:06:33,541 --> 01:06:35,374 Okay, you guys can help me out. 1548 01:06:35,375 --> 01:06:37,499 Just like I helped you out in the bris thing, right? 1549 01:06:37,500 --> 01:06:40,082 - That's what friends are for. - Friends? We're not friends! 1550 01:06:40,083 --> 01:06:42,249 The deal was you come to the gig, then you leave. 1551 01:06:42,250 --> 01:06:43,332 You got paid. 1552 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:44,499 - Now go! - Go! 1553 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:46,915 Come on. What was I supposed to do? 1554 01:06:46,916 --> 01:06:48,415 Your boss, Summersquash, hits me up 1555 01:06:48,416 --> 01:06:50,040 - and he's like, "Hey, man." - 'Summerhayes'? 1556 01:06:50,041 --> 01:06:51,540 Yes, that guy. 1557 01:06:51,541 --> 01:06:53,915 Offers me 250 large right out of the blue. 1558 01:06:53,916 --> 01:06:56,707 - What?! - $250,000? 1559 01:06:56,708 --> 01:06:58,332 Yeah, but that's for the whole year. 1560 01:06:58,333 --> 01:06:59,790 That's more than we make. 1561 01:06:59,791 --> 01:07:00,915 Oh, my God! 1562 01:07:00,916 --> 01:07:03,457 Well, I did work as a hostage negotiator in Somalia. 1563 01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:05,540 So maybe I bring a certain amount of life experience 1564 01:07:05,541 --> 01:07:06,541 to the table. 1565 01:07:06,542 --> 01:07:08,749 I mean, come on, guys, didn't you read the bible? 1566 01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:11,624 - We wrote the fucking bible! - We did that. 1567 01:07:11,625 --> 01:07:13,790 Rod, I need you to listen to me very, very carefully. 1568 01:07:13,791 --> 01:07:15,165 It's 'Ricky'. 1569 01:07:15,166 --> 01:07:17,957 Rod! Listen to me, okay? 1570 01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:21,624 There's no way that this ends well. All right? 1571 01:07:21,625 --> 01:07:23,957 You don't even know what we do here. 1572 01:07:23,958 --> 01:07:25,624 It's like business stuff. 1573 01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:27,583 You guys are like... like bookies, right? 1574 01:07:28,500 --> 01:07:29,915 We're not bookies. 1575 01:07:29,916 --> 01:07:32,832 Well, when you boil it down a little bit, there is... 1576 01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:35,458 It's way more complex than that, okay? 1577 01:07:36,125 --> 01:07:38,916 Dean, Erin's in your office. She says it's urgent. 1578 01:07:43,333 --> 01:07:44,333 Hey. 1579 01:07:44,833 --> 01:07:46,540 They hired me! 1580 01:07:46,541 --> 01:07:48,040 - Who? - MFMBC! 1581 01:07:48,041 --> 01:07:50,124 They want me to produce the 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1582 01:07:50,125 --> 01:07:52,374 - MFMBC? - Yes! 1583 01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:53,874 Are you kidding me? What?! 1584 01:07:53,875 --> 01:07:56,832 Oh, my gosh! Oh. 1585 01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:59,040 - Oh, I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 1586 01:07:59,041 --> 01:08:00,832 Didn't I tell you you were going to get your big break? 1587 01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:02,499 - You did, you did. - You got your big break. 1588 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,457 You did. I pushed them the Ricky Stanicky story 1589 01:08:04,458 --> 01:08:05,915 and they loved it. 1590 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:07,624 The Ricky what? 1591 01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:09,124 The 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1592 01:08:09,125 --> 01:08:11,124 I sent them a proposal about the work Ricky does 1593 01:08:11,125 --> 01:08:13,415 in Africa, in South America and how he works with Bono... 1594 01:08:13,416 --> 01:08:15,332 and helped clean up the oil spill 1595 01:08:15,333 --> 01:08:18,125 in the Chesapeake Bay, and they want me to produce it! 1596 01:08:18,625 --> 01:08:20,958 - Oh! - "Oh"? 1597 01:08:21,666 --> 01:08:23,040 What's wrong with your face? 1598 01:08:23,041 --> 01:08:26,665 This is my happy face. I'm so... I'm happy. 1599 01:08:26,666 --> 01:08:28,874 I'm ha... I'm happy. 1600 01:08:28,875 --> 01:08:31,540 Great. Because we got to get him back here now. 1601 01:08:31,541 --> 01:08:33,457 They want me to run it this week. 1602 01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:34,790 Right. 1603 01:08:34,791 --> 01:08:38,290 I don't know if that's going to be... possible. 1604 01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:40,540 I don't... There's just a lot of, uh... 1605 01:08:40,541 --> 01:08:42,707 - More of a canned ham. - A lot of moving... 1606 01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:44,332 - Very close to spam. - Ricky? 1607 01:08:44,333 --> 01:08:45,583 Ricky! 1608 01:08:46,708 --> 01:08:47,832 Ricky! 1609 01:08:47,833 --> 01:08:50,957 Man of the Year? Wow! That's so cool! 1610 01:08:50,958 --> 01:08:53,040 It's not man of the year. It's hero of the week. 1611 01:08:53,041 --> 01:08:55,499 And it's not wow. It's a fucking shit show. 1612 01:08:55,500 --> 01:08:56,540 And on top of that, 1613 01:08:56,541 --> 01:08:58,374 the girls are going bowling with him tonight. 1614 01:08:58,375 --> 01:09:00,540 - Do we have to go? - Of course we have to go. 1615 01:09:00,541 --> 01:09:03,333 We're the dipshit's best friends, remember? 1616 01:09:04,166 --> 01:09:06,082 Plus we can't let that fucker out of our sight. 1617 01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,582 There's no telling what he'll say. 1618 01:09:07,583 --> 01:09:11,582 You know, on the bright side, it is pretty remarkable that, 1619 01:09:11,583 --> 01:09:14,790 you know, we invented a man who can win an award like this. 1620 01:09:14,791 --> 01:09:16,082 Hey, you think he'll thank us? 1621 01:09:16,083 --> 01:09:18,749 Are you fucking serious right now? 1622 01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:21,249 Wes! You are smoking way too much weed 1623 01:09:21,250 --> 01:09:23,790 if you don't understand how serious this is, okay? 1624 01:09:23,791 --> 01:09:25,915 It's not just about us anymore. 1625 01:09:25,916 --> 01:09:30,000 This could destroy Erin's career. Wake up! 1626 01:09:33,500 --> 01:09:35,000 I don't have a choice. 1627 01:09:35,666 --> 01:09:37,499 - I got to tell her the truth. - No fucking way! 1628 01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:39,249 - I got to. - Dean, no. Dude! 1629 01:09:39,250 --> 01:09:42,040 If you tell Erin, she'll tell Susan. Okay? 1630 01:09:42,041 --> 01:09:43,665 Then what do you think is going to happen? 1631 01:09:43,666 --> 01:09:45,165 Not only did I miss the birth of my son, 1632 01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:47,082 but I let some porno Peter Frampton impersonator 1633 01:09:47,083 --> 01:09:48,874 snip his dick with a cigar cutter. 1634 01:09:48,875 --> 01:09:50,208 No! 1635 01:09:52,416 --> 01:09:53,500 Hey, guys. 1636 01:09:54,375 --> 01:09:55,582 Hey, Karnowski. 1637 01:09:55,583 --> 01:09:57,249 How was the Rebillet show? 1638 01:09:57,250 --> 01:09:59,957 It was great, you piece of shit. Thanks for the tickets. 1639 01:09:59,958 --> 01:10:01,416 Thank you! 1640 01:10:03,583 --> 01:10:05,291 Shitbag! 1641 01:10:07,458 --> 01:10:09,166 He doesn't deserve that. Karnowsk! 1642 01:10:10,750 --> 01:10:12,208 Karnowski! 1643 01:10:19,708 --> 01:10:21,583 You'll never pick it up. 1644 01:10:24,666 --> 01:10:26,666 I like your form. 1645 01:10:29,333 --> 01:10:32,415 I mean, look at this guy. Not a care in the world. 1646 01:10:32,416 --> 01:10:34,415 If he mentions his salary one more time, 1647 01:10:34,416 --> 01:10:36,165 I'm going to hit him in the fucking head. 1648 01:10:36,166 --> 01:10:37,749 Well, maybe if you gave him more money 1649 01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:39,415 than he's being paid, he'd leave. 1650 01:10:39,416 --> 01:10:41,957 He's getting paid $250,000, Wes. 1651 01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:43,457 Yeah, but that's for the whole year. 1652 01:10:43,458 --> 01:10:44,790 I'll just run to my bank, then. 1653 01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:47,540 We got to figure out a way to get rid of him or we're done. 1654 01:10:47,541 --> 01:10:49,457 Look, maybe you're worried about nothing, right? 1655 01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:51,582 She only has a couple of days to dig up dirt. 1656 01:10:51,583 --> 01:10:54,082 If she doesn't dig up dirt, that's worse. 1657 01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:56,124 Eventually someone's going to find out the truth. 1658 01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:58,207 And then Erin would just be one of those journalists 1659 01:10:58,208 --> 01:11:00,040 that makes up fake stories. 1660 01:11:00,041 --> 01:11:02,375 Yeah, like Mario Lopez. 1661 01:11:03,416 --> 01:11:04,540 Oh. 1662 01:11:04,541 --> 01:11:07,083 Well, look who's hitting it off. 1663 01:11:07,708 --> 01:11:10,290 I thought she was with Gary Polisner. 1664 01:11:10,291 --> 01:11:12,207 Apparently not. 1665 01:11:12,208 --> 01:11:14,582 Hey, look, none of my business, 1666 01:11:14,583 --> 01:11:17,375 but you should think about chopping that off. 1667 01:11:17,958 --> 01:11:19,915 What? A haircut? 1668 01:11:19,916 --> 01:11:23,540 No, I don't know, I mean, I'd be afraid to. 1669 01:11:23,541 --> 01:11:26,540 Why? With a face like yours, you should have a pixie. 1670 01:11:26,541 --> 01:11:28,583 - Really? - Yes! Look at this. 1671 01:11:29,916 --> 01:11:31,208 Okay... 1672 01:11:32,791 --> 01:11:34,166 Maybe not. 1673 01:11:34,875 --> 01:11:36,875 Down to the shoulders, maybe mid back. 1674 01:11:37,833 --> 01:11:39,749 Yeah, I mean, yeah... 1675 01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:43,082 Honestly, I've kind of been wanting to cut it for a while, 1676 01:11:43,083 --> 01:11:45,457 but I just feel like this is like my thing now, 1677 01:11:45,458 --> 01:11:47,082 and everyone says that they love it. 1678 01:11:47,083 --> 01:11:48,541 They're just being nice. 1679 01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:51,665 What, really? 1680 01:11:51,666 --> 01:11:53,166 Oh, yeah. Trust me. 1681 01:11:55,291 --> 01:11:57,957 But why would they lie to me? 1682 01:11:57,958 --> 01:12:01,541 I don't know. People are weird, right? 1683 01:12:02,166 --> 01:12:03,749 Maybe it's hard for them to tell you 1684 01:12:03,750 --> 01:12:05,916 you look like a freaking loon. 1685 01:12:09,750 --> 01:12:12,832 Hey, Carly, whoa. 1686 01:12:12,833 --> 01:12:16,124 Look, I love your hair. All right? 1687 01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,540 What I was trying to say was, 1688 01:12:17,541 --> 01:12:19,249 if you want to cut it, you should. 1689 01:12:19,250 --> 01:12:21,541 You shouldn't care about what anybody else thinks. 1690 01:12:22,125 --> 01:12:23,665 Look at you. 1691 01:12:23,666 --> 01:12:27,082 You're smart, you're sweet. 1692 01:12:27,083 --> 01:12:29,208 You got that cute little muskrat face. 1693 01:12:30,041 --> 01:12:32,832 But all anybody can ever see is your insane... 1694 01:12:32,833 --> 01:12:34,708 ly beautiful hair. 1695 01:12:36,541 --> 01:12:39,583 Which is like the tenth best thing you got going for you. 1696 01:12:42,333 --> 01:12:44,708 Agh! Ricky! Ricky! 1697 01:12:45,333 --> 01:12:47,916 Oh, what's happening? Ricky, Ricky, what's happening? 1698 01:12:54,625 --> 01:12:55,875 What's happen...? Ow! 1699 01:12:57,916 --> 01:13:00,207 Hey! Stop fucking bowling! 1700 01:13:06,666 --> 01:13:08,458 What just happened? 1701 01:13:08,958 --> 01:13:10,833 Oh, Carly, that was terrible. 1702 01:13:11,333 --> 01:13:13,415 Moron! He almost took her head off. 1703 01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:14,999 That's it. He's done. 1704 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:17,165 I'll gladly pay 250, 300, whatever it costs. 1705 01:13:17,166 --> 01:13:19,540 I'll get a loan, sell a kidney. Whatever it takes. 1706 01:13:19,541 --> 01:13:20,583 He's out of here! 1707 01:13:21,750 --> 01:13:23,332 Wait a minute. 1708 01:13:23,333 --> 01:13:26,208 What if he didn't have a job that paid him 250 grand a year? 1709 01:13:28,083 --> 01:13:29,958 Like, if he got fired. 1710 01:13:35,166 --> 01:13:36,707 Let's face facts. 1711 01:13:36,708 --> 01:13:40,249 We need this merger with World River, 1712 01:13:40,250 --> 01:13:42,332 and they seem to be able to take it or leave it. 1713 01:13:42,333 --> 01:13:44,999 Why? Well, I'll tell you why. 1714 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,040 Those folks are from San Francisco 1715 01:13:47,041 --> 01:13:49,957 and we're an old-money New England company. 1716 01:13:49,958 --> 01:13:52,749 They think we're dinosaurs. 1717 01:13:52,750 --> 01:13:54,332 They're looking for new, 1718 01:13:54,333 --> 01:13:56,707 they're looking for progressive. 1719 01:13:56,708 --> 01:13:59,790 So, come on. Let's hear some ideas. 1720 01:13:59,791 --> 01:14:02,832 Dean, you're point on this. Why don't you get us started? 1721 01:14:02,833 --> 01:14:04,332 Actually, I was thinking that Ricky 1722 01:14:04,333 --> 01:14:06,082 should take point on this today. 1723 01:14:06,083 --> 01:14:08,749 He's our newest employee and he's an 'eco-hero'. 1724 01:14:08,750 --> 01:14:11,541 I like that idea. Ricky, what do you got? 1725 01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:14,415 Well, thank you for the vote of confidence, Dean. 1726 01:14:14,416 --> 01:14:15,957 You should run the meeting, for sure. 1727 01:14:15,958 --> 01:14:17,874 I am just not quite up to speed. 1728 01:14:17,875 --> 01:14:18,915 Well, that makes sense. 1729 01:14:18,916 --> 01:14:20,790 But Ricky's got something big worked out here. 1730 01:14:20,791 --> 01:14:23,915 What'd you call it? Um... game changer, right? 1731 01:14:23,916 --> 01:14:28,165 Game changer. Got to love that. Ricky, what do you got? 1732 01:14:28,166 --> 01:14:29,707 I, um... 1733 01:14:29,708 --> 01:14:30,999 I, er... 1734 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:35,000 Rick, I have a lunch in 23 minutes. 1735 01:14:36,541 --> 01:14:38,125 Yeah. 1736 01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:42,708 Okay. 1737 01:14:43,500 --> 01:14:44,916 Um... 1738 01:14:45,750 --> 01:14:49,082 My area of expertize is in non-profit humanitarian work. 1739 01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:51,041 In short, I'm a world hugger. 1740 01:14:51,750 --> 01:14:54,582 So, you know, why don't we bring my exciting background 1741 01:14:54,583 --> 01:14:57,707 to the boring-ass world of investment products? 1742 01:14:57,708 --> 01:15:00,040 I mean, you know, ladies and gentlemen, 1743 01:15:00,041 --> 01:15:02,999 does for-profit have to be for profit? 1744 01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:05,458 Well, that's the general idea. 1745 01:15:06,958 --> 01:15:08,040 Correct! 1746 01:15:08,041 --> 01:15:10,500 Ten points to the gentleman in the conservative grey suit. 1747 01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:15,000 Er, could you please elaborate? 1748 01:15:20,791 --> 01:15:22,291 What I was saying... 1749 01:15:23,291 --> 01:15:25,165 ..was, what if we took all the money we made 1750 01:15:25,166 --> 01:15:28,375 and gave it away to poor people and shit? 1751 01:15:29,708 --> 01:15:32,749 I'm not sure I understand that. 1752 01:15:32,750 --> 01:15:35,624 - And shit. - I know I don't. 1753 01:15:35,625 --> 01:15:38,082 Well, think about it. 1754 01:15:38,083 --> 01:15:41,499 If we became, um, like the Paul-Newman-salad-dressing 1755 01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:43,165 of banks, 1756 01:15:43,166 --> 01:15:45,332 the whole world would like us. 1757 01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,415 That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 1758 01:15:49,958 --> 01:15:51,957 Well, now, wait a minute. 1759 01:15:51,958 --> 01:15:53,790 Read between the lines, Billings. 1760 01:15:53,791 --> 01:15:56,540 This is exactly what I've been talking about. 1761 01:15:56,541 --> 01:15:59,707 Stanicky's saying we got to shake things up. 1762 01:15:59,708 --> 01:16:00,915 Try something different. 1763 01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:02,790 No, that's not what he's saying. He's saying... 1764 01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:04,665 What about that Tom's company? 1765 01:16:04,666 --> 01:16:08,457 Giving away a free pair of shoes for every pair sold. 1766 01:16:08,458 --> 01:16:11,124 I bet that sounded like a stupid idea at first. 1767 01:16:11,125 --> 01:16:12,999 And what are they clearing? 1768 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:16,207 170 million in revenue last year. 1769 01:16:16,208 --> 01:16:19,208 170 million. That's impressive. 1770 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,999 Now, obviously, we can't give away all our money, 1771 01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:26,749 but we could funnel some of it into philanthropic ventures. 1772 01:16:26,750 --> 01:16:29,374 And there have got to be tax incentives. 1773 01:16:29,375 --> 01:16:32,540 - Yeah! Tax shit. - Yeah. 1774 01:16:32,541 --> 01:16:34,957 We could call it, um... Feel-Good Investing. 1775 01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:37,083 We'll show people we're a company that cares. 1776 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:42,832 Feel-Good Investing. I like that. Great work, Rick. 1777 01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:44,665 Thanks, Ted. 1778 01:16:47,291 --> 01:16:48,791 What did you say, Ricky? 1779 01:16:49,458 --> 01:16:52,124 Oh... nothing. 1780 01:16:52,125 --> 01:16:54,875 I was just saying "fuck you" to that guy. 1781 01:16:58,375 --> 01:17:00,207 Yeah, fuck you, Billings! 1782 01:17:06,166 --> 01:17:07,915 We're just kidding. 1783 01:17:07,916 --> 01:17:09,290 But fuck you, Billings. 1784 01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,915 Here's what we're going to do. 1785 01:17:13,916 --> 01:17:16,374 The World River folks are flying in Wednesday afternoon. 1786 01:17:16,375 --> 01:17:18,332 Wednesday? What? Why Wednesday? 1787 01:17:18,333 --> 01:17:19,499 Because Wednesday night 1788 01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:21,582 we're going to have a little summit over at my club 1789 01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:24,165 and watch Ricky's 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1790 01:17:24,166 --> 01:17:25,583 Clubs ahoy! 1791 01:17:26,875 --> 01:17:28,082 Right. 1792 01:17:28,083 --> 01:17:31,040 Now, I want you to bring your families and your A-games. 1793 01:17:31,041 --> 01:17:33,665 Wednesday, we're going to show these people who we are. 1794 01:17:33,666 --> 01:17:36,665 We're modern, we're fun, we're socially conscious, 1795 01:17:36,666 --> 01:17:39,625 and we're American heroes. 1796 01:17:41,916 --> 01:17:43,582 - What is happening right now? - I don't know. 1797 01:17:43,583 --> 01:17:45,750 I feel like Jason Bateman in every episode of 'Ozark'. 1798 01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,957 Hey, boss-man? Er, got a minute? 1799 01:17:48,958 --> 01:17:50,458 Sure! 1800 01:17:55,041 --> 01:17:57,165 Dean! JT! What it do? 1801 01:17:57,166 --> 01:17:59,540 What the...? What are you doing here? 1802 01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:01,000 Ricky hired me. 1803 01:18:01,875 --> 01:18:03,582 - To do what? - I don't know. 1804 01:18:03,583 --> 01:18:05,124 Help him out with stuff, I guess. 1805 01:18:05,125 --> 01:18:07,165 Yes, I think young Wesley shows great promise 1806 01:18:07,166 --> 01:18:08,374 as my attaché. 1807 01:18:08,375 --> 01:18:10,457 - Who's your attaché, Dean? - I don't have an attaché. 1808 01:18:10,458 --> 01:18:11,707 I'm not a foreign diplomat. 1809 01:18:11,708 --> 01:18:13,999 Listen, you and me need to have a chat. 1810 01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,124 Okay, but before we do, I want to show you something. 1811 01:18:21,416 --> 01:18:23,832 First, thank you for having faith 1812 01:18:23,833 --> 01:18:25,374 and believing in me today. 1813 01:18:25,375 --> 01:18:27,457 I never would've come up with those ideas in the meeting 1814 01:18:27,458 --> 01:18:28,874 if you hadn't thrown me into the fire. 1815 01:18:28,875 --> 01:18:30,165 Happy to do it, man. 1816 01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:32,583 I think I figured out what the problem is. 1817 01:18:33,458 --> 01:18:34,707 What problem? 1818 01:18:34,708 --> 01:18:37,207 The whole 'not getting the merger' thingy problem. 1819 01:18:37,208 --> 01:18:38,457 You went to one staff meeting 1820 01:18:38,458 --> 01:18:40,124 and you've got the whole company figured out? 1821 01:18:40,125 --> 01:18:42,707 So I filmed this on my phone in the staff meeting this morning 1822 01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:44,249 and my attaché put it on the computer. 1823 01:18:44,250 --> 01:18:46,082 So, check it out. 1824 01:18:46,083 --> 01:18:48,707 - San Francisco and we... - See? 1825 01:18:48,708 --> 01:18:50,790 - Old-money New England... - You see? 1826 01:18:50,791 --> 01:18:53,540 - They're looking for... - See what? 1827 01:18:53,541 --> 01:18:55,499 The guy's a world-class air-dicker. 1828 01:18:55,500 --> 01:18:57,665 An air what-er? What are you talking about? 1829 01:18:57,666 --> 01:18:59,207 Keep watching. 1830 01:18:59,208 --> 01:19:00,832 Every time he tries to make a point, 1831 01:19:00,833 --> 01:19:03,582 it's like he puts an invisible penis in his mouth. 1832 01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,749 Remember when Obama used to power knuckle 1833 01:19:05,750 --> 01:19:06,874 to try to make that point? 1834 01:19:06,875 --> 01:19:08,540 Well, Summerhayes does the same thing, 1835 01:19:08,541 --> 01:19:10,624 but when he does it, it's like he's smoking invisible dongs. 1836 01:19:10,625 --> 01:19:13,707 Oh, my God, he is an air-dicker. 1837 01:19:13,708 --> 01:19:15,082 There's a time and a place for it, 1838 01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:16,707 but it's really hard to get away with it 1839 01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:18,000 in a business setting. 1840 01:19:18,958 --> 01:19:21,374 Yo, let's make a TikTok out of this! 1841 01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:25,624 What do you guys think? Should I tell him? 1842 01:19:25,625 --> 01:19:27,166 Tell him what? 1843 01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:29,666 That he's a world-class air-dicker. 1844 01:19:32,291 --> 01:19:34,375 - Absolutely. - Yeah, you should. 1845 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:48,499 How could you work for him, dude? 1846 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:50,207 We don't need you exploring career opportunities 1847 01:19:50,208 --> 01:19:51,624 when he's trying to ruin our lives. 1848 01:19:51,625 --> 01:19:53,457 First of all, he's not ruining my life. 1849 01:19:53,458 --> 01:19:55,457 He hired me 'cause he actually gives a shit. 1850 01:19:55,458 --> 01:19:57,124 If I didn't get off my ass and get a job, 1851 01:19:57,125 --> 01:19:58,624 Keith was going to dump me. 1852 01:19:58,625 --> 01:20:00,624 By the way, I noticed that my so-called real friends 1853 01:20:00,625 --> 01:20:01,999 never offered me a job. 1854 01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:04,500 Are you fucking shitting me?! 1855 01:20:08,666 --> 01:20:10,290 You two! 1856 01:20:10,291 --> 01:20:12,291 In here, now! 1857 01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:20,625 Come in, sit down. 1858 01:20:23,083 --> 01:20:25,041 Show them what you showed me. 1859 01:20:25,708 --> 01:20:27,416 I already did, Ted. 1860 01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:31,416 You knew about this and you never said anything? 1861 01:20:32,500 --> 01:20:33,832 Well, we just thought it was... 1862 01:20:33,833 --> 01:20:36,624 It's just a mannerism. It's really not that big of a deal. 1863 01:20:36,625 --> 01:20:38,207 Especially in this day and age. 1864 01:20:38,208 --> 01:20:39,749 I know it's not a big deal! 1865 01:20:39,750 --> 01:20:41,915 Two of my sons are gay, for Christ's sake! 1866 01:20:41,916 --> 01:20:44,624 And the third one's just... working it out. 1867 01:20:44,625 --> 01:20:48,124 But I can't go into meetings like this. 1868 01:20:48,125 --> 01:20:50,957 No wonder they're not interested in the merger. 1869 01:20:50,958 --> 01:20:52,374 They're so flippin' distracted, 1870 01:20:52,375 --> 01:20:54,207 they haven't heard a word I've said. 1871 01:20:54,208 --> 01:20:57,915 We don't know that you've been doing this everywhere. I... 1872 01:20:57,916 --> 01:21:00,290 As far as we know, you just did it in today's meeting. 1873 01:21:00,291 --> 01:21:01,500 I'd never seen it before. 1874 01:21:02,375 --> 01:21:03,999 Really? 1875 01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:05,832 I've got the conference link. 1876 01:21:07,791 --> 01:21:11,165 This merger will allow us 1877 01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:15,333 to further enhance our capital efficiencies. 1878 01:21:15,833 --> 01:21:17,124 - Look at you. - Oh, God... 1879 01:21:17,125 --> 01:21:18,624 Air-dicking left and right. 1880 01:21:18,625 --> 01:21:22,249 There are companies out there who want to get bigger. 1881 01:21:22,250 --> 01:21:25,290 There are companies out there who want to get smaller. 1882 01:21:25,291 --> 01:21:27,249 You just air-dicked four times in ten seconds. 1883 01:21:27,250 --> 01:21:28,749 Oh, dear God, it's true. 1884 01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:33,832 On the other hand, to support everything we do... 1885 01:21:33,833 --> 01:21:36,999 Oh, God! Now it looks like I'm cupping the balls. 1886 01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:39,999 With knowledge and planning. 1887 01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:41,790 Oh! 1888 01:21:41,791 --> 01:21:44,040 Hey, you're double-dongin' it. 1889 01:21:44,041 --> 01:21:47,500 Is the company that can do both. 1890 01:21:48,041 --> 01:21:49,874 Oh, God. Get it... Turn it off. 1891 01:21:49,875 --> 01:21:51,416 Some people say... 1892 01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:56,999 Okay, from this point forward 1893 01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:59,082 Stanicky is in charge of the merger. 1894 01:21:59,083 --> 01:22:01,290 What? Ted, come on. 1895 01:22:01,291 --> 01:22:02,999 I've been running point on this for nine months. 1896 01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:05,874 Yeah, and look where it's gotten us. 1897 01:22:05,875 --> 01:22:07,915 He's been here one day and... 1898 01:22:07,916 --> 01:22:10,333 - Watch the air-dicking, Ted. - Jesus...! 1899 01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:13,250 Here's the bottom line. 1900 01:22:13,833 --> 01:22:15,832 Stanicky gives it to me straight, 1901 01:22:15,833 --> 01:22:17,665 whether the news is good or bad. 1902 01:22:17,666 --> 01:22:20,750 He's in charge. End of discussion. 1903 01:22:24,291 --> 01:22:28,249 Oh, Jesus. Okay, just make it go away. Just... 1904 01:22:28,250 --> 01:22:29,999 - Yep. - Go to black. 1905 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,499 - Oh, er... - Just go to black. 1906 01:22:31,500 --> 01:22:33,874 Yeah, I'm pressing it but it's not... 1907 01:22:33,875 --> 01:22:35,249 - Give it to me. - Yeah, try... 1908 01:22:35,250 --> 01:22:36,624 I don't know how to work this thing. 1909 01:22:36,625 --> 01:22:38,665 - No, I know. - Is there an IT guy? 1910 01:22:38,666 --> 01:22:40,625 - That's me. - Argh, fuck! 1911 01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:44,832 Oh, Dean... 1912 01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:46,540 Despite what Ted said back there, 1913 01:22:46,541 --> 01:22:47,707 about me being in charge, 1914 01:22:47,708 --> 01:22:49,915 I don't pretend to know more about this company than you. 1915 01:22:49,916 --> 01:22:51,832 Well, I pretend to know more than you, 1916 01:22:51,833 --> 01:22:53,415 but you are clearly 1917 01:22:53,416 --> 01:22:55,332 more informed in company matters than me 1918 01:22:55,333 --> 01:22:58,375 and right now I need your expertize. 1919 01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:02,165 What? 1920 01:23:02,166 --> 01:23:04,166 I don't want to forget this. Okay... 1921 01:23:07,375 --> 01:23:09,500 How big of a raise should I be asking for? 1922 01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:13,875 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 1923 01:23:16,041 --> 01:23:18,000 You're quitting! Today! 1924 01:23:18,750 --> 01:23:20,624 - What are you talking about? - Show's over, Rod. 1925 01:23:20,625 --> 01:23:21,749 It's Ricky. 1926 01:23:21,750 --> 01:23:25,207 It's not Ricky, okay? Get it through your head, man. 1927 01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:27,040 Ricky Stanicky isn't real. 1928 01:23:27,041 --> 01:23:29,083 Yes, he is. Here. 1929 01:23:34,291 --> 01:23:38,165 Richard Barbara Stanicky? 1930 01:23:38,166 --> 01:23:40,124 That's my grandmother's name. 1931 01:23:40,125 --> 01:23:42,000 Where the fuck did you get this? 1932 01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:46,624 Officially changed my name. 1933 01:23:46,625 --> 01:23:49,250 Paid to expedite it online. They overnighted it. 1934 01:23:49,916 --> 01:23:51,415 Oh, my God. 1935 01:23:51,416 --> 01:23:53,540 Come on, Dean. See this from my side. 1936 01:23:53,541 --> 01:23:55,790 This is the role I was born to play and I'm nailing it. 1937 01:23:55,791 --> 01:23:59,290 No, you were hired under false pretences. 1938 01:23:59,291 --> 01:24:00,665 You lied to them. 1939 01:24:00,666 --> 01:24:02,124 No, as I recall, Dean, you lied to them. 1940 01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:04,624 - Oh, ha, ha, ha. - You got me there. 1941 01:24:04,625 --> 01:24:06,124 But you know what? This is different. 1942 01:24:06,125 --> 01:24:07,665 You're putting people's careers at risk. 1943 01:24:07,666 --> 01:24:09,207 Careers? 1944 01:24:09,208 --> 01:24:11,624 I've been here two days and I'm your boss. 1945 01:24:11,625 --> 01:24:13,790 I'm talking about Erin's career! 1946 01:24:13,791 --> 01:24:16,249 You can fool Summerhayes with this righteous shit. 1947 01:24:16,250 --> 01:24:18,833 But I know who you really are. 1948 01:24:19,416 --> 01:24:22,750 You're Rock Hard Rod! The drunk. 1949 01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:28,000 Yeah. 1950 01:24:30,208 --> 01:24:31,833 I was a drunk. 1951 01:24:32,833 --> 01:24:35,458 Nobody respected me. My job sucked. I had no friends. 1952 01:24:36,375 --> 01:24:37,999 But now I have all those things. 1953 01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,666 And I'm sober. All right? 1954 01:24:41,916 --> 01:24:43,958 And if I leave here, it all goes away. 1955 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:52,750 My whole life, all I've ever been is a shit baby. 1956 01:24:55,916 --> 01:24:59,916 And now I get to be somebody people actually like. 1957 01:25:03,333 --> 01:25:05,500 Don't take that away from me, man. Please. 1958 01:25:13,375 --> 01:25:17,333 Look, this has to end. 1959 01:25:25,500 --> 01:25:28,082 What the fuck are you doing? Stop! Stop! Hey, hey! 1960 01:25:28,083 --> 01:25:29,832 Argh! Hey, okay! 1961 01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:32,374 If I go back, they'll kill me. If I go back, they'll kill me. 1962 01:25:32,375 --> 01:25:33,582 What?! 1963 01:25:33,583 --> 01:25:35,415 If I go back to Atlantic City, they'll kill me. 1964 01:25:35,416 --> 01:25:37,124 - Who? - The Sasquatch 1965 01:25:37,125 --> 01:25:38,874 and his Joe Pesce buddy from the casino. 1966 01:25:38,875 --> 01:25:40,374 I told you they were crazy fans. 1967 01:25:40,375 --> 01:25:42,583 They're crazy. They're not fans. 1968 01:25:43,583 --> 01:25:45,999 Why? What did you do? 1969 01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:47,874 I don't know. 1970 01:25:47,875 --> 01:25:50,333 I used to drink and black out, it could be anything. 1971 01:25:51,458 --> 01:25:52,957 One day I woke up after a five-day bender, 1972 01:25:52,958 --> 01:25:54,208 I was a manager of an Arby's. 1973 01:25:55,291 --> 01:25:57,791 Plus, I owe a lot of bad people a lot of money. 1974 01:26:04,333 --> 01:26:05,916 You were right, man. 1975 01:26:06,916 --> 01:26:08,458 It's my fault. 1976 01:26:10,833 --> 01:26:12,500 It's... it's my fault. 1977 01:26:15,833 --> 01:26:17,915 Wow. 1978 01:26:17,916 --> 01:26:19,458 I had everything. 1979 01:26:20,250 --> 01:26:23,083 I had good friends. I had a great job. 1980 01:26:24,541 --> 01:26:26,707 The most kind-hearted, 1981 01:26:26,708 --> 01:26:29,208 beautiful person in the whole world loved me. 1982 01:26:31,583 --> 01:26:33,833 Erin's the best thing that ever happened to me. 1983 01:26:35,500 --> 01:26:37,208 I'm going to lose it all. 1984 01:26:49,041 --> 01:26:51,401 I'll never understand why you don't just tell her the truth. 1985 01:26:52,750 --> 01:26:54,500 I think it's a little late for that, Wes. 1986 01:26:56,458 --> 01:26:57,916 No, it's not. 1987 01:26:58,833 --> 01:27:01,249 That was Steve Smith in Washington. 1988 01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:02,915 And tomorrow night at 7 p.m. 1989 01:27:02,916 --> 01:27:05,916 we present our Hero of the Week. 1990 01:27:10,250 --> 01:27:13,999 Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah! 1991 01:27:16,250 --> 01:27:17,957 Visit your local Red Robin 1992 01:27:17,958 --> 01:27:20,875 to try our new bottomless steak fries. 1993 01:27:21,708 --> 01:27:22,790 I swear to God, man, 1994 01:27:22,791 --> 01:27:24,624 Stanicky's like one of those trick birthday candles - 1995 01:27:24,625 --> 01:27:26,624 no matter how hard I try to blow him out, 1996 01:27:26,625 --> 01:27:27,833 he just keeps coming back. 1997 01:27:32,541 --> 01:27:34,207 Dean, I love you like a brother, 1998 01:27:34,208 --> 01:27:36,207 but you got one major flaw. 1999 01:27:36,208 --> 01:27:37,665 Hmm? 2000 01:27:37,666 --> 01:27:39,041 You lie too much. 2001 01:27:40,708 --> 01:27:42,499 I lie too much? 2002 01:27:42,500 --> 01:27:44,207 What the...? 2003 01:27:44,208 --> 01:27:45,790 You lie just as much as me. 2004 01:27:45,791 --> 01:27:47,416 Only 'cause you make me. 2005 01:27:48,041 --> 01:27:49,915 I've been trying to tell the truth on this one 2006 01:27:49,916 --> 01:27:51,040 from the beginning, 2007 01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:52,290 but you said no. 2008 01:27:52,291 --> 01:27:53,832 Because I was looking out for JT. 2009 01:27:53,833 --> 01:27:55,082 I didn't want JT to get in trouble. 2010 01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:58,041 Dude, this has nothing to do with JT. 2011 01:27:59,125 --> 01:28:01,000 This has everything to do with you. 2012 01:28:02,458 --> 01:28:05,499 Do you realize that Rod had a fake life and he made it real? 2013 01:28:05,500 --> 01:28:07,458 You had a real life and you made it fake. 2014 01:28:10,875 --> 01:28:13,250 Fuck this, man. I don't need this shit. 2015 01:28:14,250 --> 01:28:15,957 You're not making anything better. 2016 01:28:15,958 --> 01:28:17,791 Yo, I know you ain't fall in no ditch. 2017 01:28:20,166 --> 01:28:21,374 What? 2018 01:28:21,375 --> 01:28:24,708 I know you didn't fall in a ditch, that one Halloween. 2019 01:28:25,291 --> 01:28:26,875 When you broke your arm. 2020 01:28:27,375 --> 01:28:29,207 After we egged that house, 2021 01:28:29,208 --> 01:28:30,999 and we all split in different directions, 2022 01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:33,457 I went back to your place to see if you was there, 2023 01:28:33,458 --> 01:28:35,208 and you were. 2024 01:28:36,125 --> 01:28:37,208 And I heard him. 2025 01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:42,208 I heard what he did to you. 2026 01:28:43,875 --> 01:28:46,082 That was an accident. He was drunk. 2027 01:28:46,083 --> 01:28:48,708 See, there you go again. You're lying. 2028 01:28:49,416 --> 01:28:52,957 Dude, I understand you grew up in a fucked-up house 2029 01:28:52,958 --> 01:28:55,124 and you had a fucked-up father, 2030 01:28:55,125 --> 01:28:57,499 and that's why you slept over at me and JT's house, 2031 01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:59,207 and that's probably why you started a lie. 2032 01:28:59,208 --> 01:29:00,415 To protect yourself. 2033 01:29:00,416 --> 01:29:02,749 But you're not that boy anymore, 2034 01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:04,249 and you're letting this shitty stuff 2035 01:29:04,250 --> 01:29:06,210 turn you into a shitty person, and that's not you. 2036 01:29:07,500 --> 01:29:09,457 If you just tell Erin the truth, 2037 01:29:09,458 --> 01:29:11,375 she won't hurt you. 2038 01:30:05,375 --> 01:30:07,791 Hey. Where were you? 2039 01:30:08,625 --> 01:30:10,541 I was worried about you. 2040 01:30:13,541 --> 01:30:15,333 I tried to call you. 2041 01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:20,708 Listen, Erin... 2042 01:30:22,458 --> 01:30:24,332 you can't let them run your story. 2043 01:30:24,333 --> 01:30:26,415 Yeah, well, it's a little too late for that. 2044 01:30:26,416 --> 01:30:28,291 No, you don't understand. 2045 01:30:29,166 --> 01:30:32,040 Is there a way that you can postpone it or pre-empt it? 2046 01:30:32,041 --> 01:30:34,082 Is that what they say in your business? 'Pre-empt'? 2047 01:30:34,083 --> 01:30:35,582 'Cause there's a lot of things 2048 01:30:35,583 --> 01:30:37,040 that you need to know about Ricky. 2049 01:30:37,041 --> 01:30:38,666 You mean Rock Hard Rod? 2050 01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:42,208 Don't look so surprised, Dean. 2051 01:30:43,000 --> 01:30:45,791 I'm a good reporter, you said so yourself, remember? 2052 01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:48,124 Yeah, I know you are. 2053 01:30:48,125 --> 01:30:49,875 I figured it out at the bris. 2054 01:30:52,625 --> 01:30:54,790 Nairobi? 2055 01:30:54,791 --> 01:30:59,082 You said he had to fly back to help fight Ebola, 2056 01:30:59,083 --> 01:31:01,915 but there hasn't been an Ebola case 2057 01:31:01,916 --> 01:31:03,457 anywhere in the last four years 2058 01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:05,582 and definitely never in Nairobi. 2059 01:31:05,583 --> 01:31:07,125 They actually have a vaccine now. 2060 01:31:09,375 --> 01:31:10,416 That's good. 2061 01:31:10,916 --> 01:31:13,375 Ricky showed me your bible. 2062 01:31:14,291 --> 01:31:15,750 It's pathetic. 2063 01:31:16,416 --> 01:31:18,082 You guys lied so you could 2064 01:31:18,083 --> 01:31:20,165 go to the Little League World Series, 2065 01:31:20,166 --> 01:31:22,708 the Lebowski Fest, a tiny train museum. 2066 01:31:24,750 --> 01:31:26,207 Wes likes trains. 2067 01:31:26,208 --> 01:31:28,041 You went to Dollywood, twice! 2068 01:31:28,666 --> 01:31:31,333 Why didn't you take me with you? I love Dolly Parton. 2069 01:31:31,875 --> 01:31:33,665 I'm sorry. I didn't know that. 2070 01:31:33,666 --> 01:31:36,332 What bothers me more than the lies 2071 01:31:36,333 --> 01:31:39,333 is why you told them in the first place. 2072 01:31:41,625 --> 01:31:43,791 You were running from me. 2073 01:31:44,916 --> 01:31:46,249 From us. 2074 01:31:46,250 --> 01:31:48,374 No. No, that's not true. 2075 01:31:48,375 --> 01:31:51,791 Well, it doesn't matter anymore, Dean. 2076 01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:54,875 It's too late. 2077 01:32:13,333 --> 01:32:14,999 I just want this day to be over. 2078 01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:16,707 Me too. 2079 01:32:16,708 --> 01:32:19,749 What if he chickened out? What if he's going to bail on us? 2080 01:32:19,750 --> 01:32:21,165 Where is Dean? 2081 01:32:21,166 --> 01:32:23,915 He's, uh, on his... He'll be here any minute. 2082 01:32:23,916 --> 01:32:25,457 And where is Ricky? 2083 01:32:25,458 --> 01:32:27,207 The World River execs want to meet him. 2084 01:32:27,208 --> 01:32:31,041 Also on his way. His attaché is here, so... 2085 01:32:31,958 --> 01:32:33,291 Hi. 2086 01:32:37,375 --> 01:32:39,000 So, where were we? 2087 01:33:00,708 --> 01:33:02,083 Hey! 2088 01:33:02,708 --> 01:33:04,207 Where the hell have you been? 2089 01:33:04,208 --> 01:33:05,457 The show starts in three minutes. 2090 01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:07,082 Summerhayes wants Ricky to introduce it. 2091 01:33:07,083 --> 01:33:08,665 - Where is this guy? - There's no show. 2092 01:33:08,666 --> 01:33:10,124 What? 2093 01:33:10,125 --> 01:33:12,666 Ricky was never going to be Hero of the Week. 2094 01:33:13,208 --> 01:33:14,957 Erin knew all along. 2095 01:33:14,958 --> 01:33:16,040 Knew what? 2096 01:33:16,041 --> 01:33:18,749 That Ricky was a fake. She figured it out at the bris. 2097 01:33:18,750 --> 01:33:20,790 So she was lying to us? 2098 01:33:20,791 --> 01:33:22,708 Well, that's pretty fuckin' low. 2099 01:33:23,291 --> 01:33:25,041 Are you an idiot? 2100 01:33:26,250 --> 01:33:28,083 What are we going to tell Summerhayes? 2101 01:33:29,583 --> 01:33:30,707 The truth. 2102 01:33:30,708 --> 01:33:33,208 Dean, come on. Don't do that. Dean! 2103 01:33:34,666 --> 01:33:36,290 Good evening, everyone. 2104 01:33:36,291 --> 01:33:38,790 Thank you all for coming out. Thank you. 2105 01:33:38,791 --> 01:33:40,874 Thank you. 2106 01:33:40,875 --> 01:33:44,749 I see a lot of old friends out here tonight, 2107 01:33:44,750 --> 01:33:46,249 and a lot of new friends. 2108 01:33:46,250 --> 01:33:49,457 And I see two great companies 2109 01:33:49,458 --> 01:33:50,790 that can... 2110 01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:54,249 can, uh, do wonderful things. 2111 01:33:54,250 --> 01:33:56,999 I was hoping that the man of the hour, Ricky Stanicky, 2112 01:33:57,000 --> 01:34:01,207 would be here to introduce this MFMBC Heroes segment. 2113 01:34:01,208 --> 01:34:04,374 - Ted, can I say something? - Yes, absolutely. Yes, please. 2114 01:34:04,375 --> 01:34:05,582 Dean Stanton, 2115 01:34:05,583 --> 01:34:07,499 our Vice President of Investor Relations. 2116 01:34:07,500 --> 01:34:08,582 Dean. 2117 01:34:21,291 --> 01:34:22,833 Um... 2118 01:34:23,625 --> 01:34:26,665 Unfortunately, MFMBC has decided 2119 01:34:26,666 --> 01:34:29,582 not to profile Ricky Stanicky as a hero. 2120 01:34:29,583 --> 01:34:32,040 Ha... 2121 01:34:32,041 --> 01:34:34,041 The reason being... 2122 01:34:35,250 --> 01:34:37,375 that Ricky Stanicky's not a hero. 2123 01:34:39,875 --> 01:34:42,041 He's not even a real person. 2124 01:34:45,208 --> 01:34:47,207 I made him up. 2125 01:34:47,208 --> 01:34:49,415 Motherfucker! 2126 01:34:54,541 --> 01:34:56,291 I lied to all of you. 2127 01:34:58,125 --> 01:35:00,291 And I have no excuses. 2128 01:35:03,666 --> 01:35:05,166 I'm sorry, Ted. 2129 01:35:06,041 --> 01:35:08,041 You don't deserve this. 2130 01:35:09,833 --> 01:35:11,457 I'd also like to apologize to everyone 2131 01:35:11,458 --> 01:35:13,916 who came out here from San Francisco. 2132 01:35:15,208 --> 01:35:18,083 Summerhayes Financial is an excellent company. 2133 01:35:19,291 --> 01:35:20,957 Please don't let my actions destroy 2134 01:35:20,958 --> 01:35:23,375 what could be a great partnership. 2135 01:35:31,208 --> 01:35:32,958 What the fuck did he just say? 2136 01:35:33,458 --> 01:35:35,165 I don't know what to do. 2137 01:35:35,166 --> 01:35:36,249 I told you... 2138 01:35:36,250 --> 01:35:38,250 Where is that pumpkin-headed piece of shit? 2139 01:35:38,750 --> 01:35:40,540 I don't get it. 2140 01:35:40,541 --> 01:35:42,040 If the show wasn't for real, 2141 01:35:42,041 --> 01:35:43,666 then why'd the news crew come in? 2142 01:35:45,333 --> 01:35:47,915 - What news crew? - Yesterday. 2143 01:35:47,916 --> 01:35:49,290 While you were at lunch, 2144 01:35:49,291 --> 01:35:50,915 this crew came in and interviewed Ricky. 2145 01:35:50,916 --> 01:35:52,625 I helped set the whole thing up. 2146 01:36:00,958 --> 01:36:04,332 Dean, don't worry about cleaning out your office. 2147 01:36:04,333 --> 01:36:06,582 We'll box it up for ya... 2148 01:36:06,583 --> 01:36:08,125 and then burn it. 2149 01:36:11,791 --> 01:36:13,665 I'm standing outside the offices 2150 01:36:13,666 --> 01:36:15,249 of Summerhayes Financial, 2151 01:36:15,250 --> 01:36:16,499 an esteemed institution 2152 01:36:16,500 --> 01:36:19,124 in downtown Providence, Rhode Island. 2153 01:36:19,125 --> 01:36:22,624 And that is Richard Barbara Stanicky. 2154 01:36:22,625 --> 01:36:24,499 Think of us as the bookies and you're the gambler. 2155 01:36:24,500 --> 01:36:27,249 We're the nice bookies, not the throw-you-off-the bridge type. 2156 01:36:27,250 --> 01:36:29,332 After several years helping the less... 2157 01:36:29,333 --> 01:36:31,124 Why the hell is this still on?! 2158 01:36:31,125 --> 01:36:33,207 Charity, he's now the newest 2159 01:36:33,208 --> 01:36:35,874 and one of the most highly paid executives 2160 01:36:35,875 --> 01:36:37,750 at Summerhayes Financial. 2161 01:36:38,666 --> 01:36:40,165 Where's the AV guy? 2162 01:36:40,166 --> 01:36:43,165 - Oh, that's me. - I thought you were the IT guy. 2163 01:36:43,166 --> 01:36:44,582 I'm both. 2164 01:36:45,666 --> 01:36:47,540 But there's something you should know 2165 01:36:47,541 --> 01:36:49,583 about this highly successful executive. 2166 01:36:50,250 --> 01:36:51,915 He's a complete fraud. 2167 01:36:51,916 --> 01:36:53,999 I'm Ted Summerhayes... 2168 01:36:54,000 --> 01:36:55,165 That's right. 2169 01:36:55,166 --> 01:36:57,790 Ricky Stanicky is actually Rodney Rimestead, 2170 01:36:57,791 --> 01:37:00,249 a pornographic rock'n'roll impersonator 2171 01:37:00,250 --> 01:37:02,415 from Atlantic City, New Jersey, 2172 01:37:02,416 --> 01:37:06,249 who goes by the name of Rock Hard Rod. 2173 01:37:06,250 --> 01:37:10,540 We caught up with Mr. Rimestead to find out how he came to be 2174 01:37:10,541 --> 01:37:12,999 the businessman 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2175 01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:16,582 I was hanging around a casino bar in Atlantic City. 2176 01:37:16,583 --> 01:37:19,874 No money, no friends, no respect. 2177 01:37:19,875 --> 01:37:21,500 I was an alcoholic. 2178 01:37:22,083 --> 01:37:24,666 I am... I am an alcoholic. 2179 01:37:25,666 --> 01:37:27,916 And I was doing whatever I could to get by. 2180 01:37:35,583 --> 01:37:36,624 Oh, God. 2181 01:37:38,875 --> 01:37:42,458 And that night, I met Dean Stanton and his friends. 2182 01:37:43,416 --> 01:37:45,666 They bought me food, drink. 2183 01:37:46,333 --> 01:37:48,832 They asked me who I was, they really seemed to care. 2184 01:37:48,833 --> 01:37:51,041 And as Rod would discover, they did care. 2185 01:37:58,875 --> 01:38:00,500 Dean! 2186 01:38:01,166 --> 01:38:02,957 You got to see this! 2187 01:38:02,958 --> 01:38:05,832 Within days, Dean Stanton and his friends 2188 01:38:05,833 --> 01:38:07,374 would reach out again. 2189 01:38:07,375 --> 01:38:08,790 I couldn't believe they called. 2190 01:38:08,791 --> 01:38:10,124 These are people I met only once 2191 01:38:10,125 --> 01:38:11,249 and only for a few minutes, 2192 01:38:11,250 --> 01:38:14,374 and here they were offering me the opportunity of a lifetime. 2193 01:38:14,375 --> 01:38:16,832 And what was that opportunity? 2194 01:38:16,833 --> 01:38:20,124 Simply to become 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2195 01:38:20,125 --> 01:38:22,165 They said, "You are no longer Rod Rimestead, 2196 01:38:22,166 --> 01:38:23,290 "the loser. 2197 01:38:23,291 --> 01:38:25,625 "From here on out, you're Ricky Stanicky, the winner." 2198 01:38:26,458 --> 01:38:27,624 That was the first time 2199 01:38:27,625 --> 01:38:29,290 somebody had ever believed in me. 2200 01:38:29,291 --> 01:38:32,165 After relocating Rod, now Ricky, to Providence, 2201 01:38:32,166 --> 01:38:35,915 Dean Stanton and friends set about creating a new identity 2202 01:38:35,916 --> 01:38:39,957 for the man who'd once MC'ed an X-rated dog show. 2203 01:38:39,958 --> 01:38:41,374 We caution you - 2204 01:38:41,375 --> 01:38:44,708 this next video may be disturbing to some viewers. 2205 01:38:52,875 --> 01:38:54,665 Oh, my God! 2206 01:38:59,291 --> 01:39:03,124 They gave me a book. They called it their bible. 2207 01:39:03,125 --> 01:39:06,374 It was like a blueprint for how to live as Ricky Stanicky. 2208 01:39:06,375 --> 01:39:08,290 How to live a good life. 2209 01:39:08,291 --> 01:39:10,540 How to learn from your errors. 2210 01:39:10,541 --> 01:39:12,999 I saw what I could have been. 2211 01:39:13,000 --> 01:39:14,541 What I'd missed. 2212 01:39:15,166 --> 01:39:16,999 And the more and more I read their bible, 2213 01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:18,040 the more I realized 2214 01:39:18,041 --> 01:39:19,624 this doesn't have to be just a dream. 2215 01:39:19,625 --> 01:39:21,790 And so 'Ricky' stopped drinking 2216 01:39:21,791 --> 01:39:24,040 and started respecting himself. 2217 01:39:24,041 --> 01:39:27,999 Soon he had a job here at Summerhayes Financial. 2218 01:39:28,000 --> 01:39:29,957 Dean introduced me to Ted Summerhayes. 2219 01:39:29,958 --> 01:39:31,040 He's one of those rich guys 2220 01:39:31,041 --> 01:39:32,832 who's gotta whip out his big swinging super-yacht 2221 01:39:32,833 --> 01:39:34,999 - to show you how rich he is. - Oh, God... 2222 01:39:35,000 --> 01:39:37,249 But, on the other hand, the guy's got a heart of gold. 2223 01:39:37,250 --> 01:39:39,499 We started Feel-Good Investing. 2224 01:39:39,500 --> 01:39:42,083 And then, through Dean, I met more and more friends. 2225 01:39:43,125 --> 01:39:45,624 I met a beautiful girl, with a beautiful soul. 2226 01:39:45,625 --> 01:39:47,082 Aw. 2227 01:39:47,083 --> 01:39:48,708 And I had a life. 2228 01:39:49,291 --> 01:39:51,040 I became 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2229 01:39:51,041 --> 01:39:53,040 And somewhere in the middle of it all, 2230 01:39:53,041 --> 01:39:57,040 the line between the mythical and the real had blurred. 2231 01:39:57,041 --> 01:40:01,374 And that's how, improbably, a drunken Atlantic City reject 2232 01:40:01,375 --> 01:40:05,415 found himself blessed with a new life in the Ocean State. 2233 01:40:05,416 --> 01:40:08,540 Hero? Me? No. No. 2234 01:40:08,541 --> 01:40:09,999 If there's a hero to this story, 2235 01:40:10,000 --> 01:40:11,624 it's the men who saved my life. 2236 01:40:11,625 --> 01:40:15,083 Dean Stanton, JT Levine and Wes... something. 2237 01:40:15,833 --> 01:40:18,207 A story that started out fraudulently, 2238 01:40:18,208 --> 01:40:20,290 somehow, miraculously, 2239 01:40:20,291 --> 01:40:24,624 became a tale of redemption, rebirth and love. 2240 01:40:24,625 --> 01:40:27,957 Because he believed that anybody at any time 2241 01:40:27,958 --> 01:40:30,707 can become the person they want to be, 2242 01:40:30,708 --> 01:40:35,165 we choose Ricky Stanicky as our Hero of the Week. 2243 01:40:41,041 --> 01:40:44,291 Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 2244 01:40:52,500 --> 01:40:53,790 Well... 2245 01:40:53,791 --> 01:40:56,249 you came out of this smelling like a rose, didn't ya? 2246 01:40:56,250 --> 01:40:58,249 How do you think it makes me look? 2247 01:40:58,250 --> 01:41:00,165 Are you kidding me?! 2248 01:41:00,166 --> 01:41:02,707 Such a wonderful and inspirational story, Ted. 2249 01:41:02,708 --> 01:41:04,915 Great job Ted, and you too, Dean. 2250 01:41:04,916 --> 01:41:06,540 Oh, I... I didn't do it. 2251 01:41:06,541 --> 01:41:09,665 Summerhayes. I like the people you surround yourself with. 2252 01:41:09,666 --> 01:41:12,374 I mean, the concept of second chances 2253 01:41:12,375 --> 01:41:14,457 and feeling good about your investments - 2254 01:41:14,458 --> 01:41:16,250 that's something we're trying to achieve. 2255 01:41:16,916 --> 01:41:19,499 Well, that's... what we do. 2256 01:41:19,500 --> 01:41:22,082 Truth is, it was Ted who saw the potential in Ricky. 2257 01:41:22,083 --> 01:41:24,124 It was also his idea to start partnering 2258 01:41:24,125 --> 01:41:26,000 with more charitable organizations. 2259 01:41:26,666 --> 01:41:29,207 I just saw the tax incentives. 2260 01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:31,665 You're a humble son of a bitch, aren't ya? 2261 01:41:31,666 --> 01:41:33,040 Ah... 2262 01:41:33,041 --> 01:41:34,125 So, do we have a deal? 2263 01:41:34,958 --> 01:41:36,374 I don't know. 2264 01:41:36,375 --> 01:41:38,583 Dean, what do you think? 2265 01:41:41,625 --> 01:41:42,957 We have a deal. 2266 01:41:42,958 --> 01:41:45,124 - Absolutely, we have a deal. - Yeah, we have a deal. 2267 01:41:45,125 --> 01:41:46,583 - Great. - Wonderful. 2268 01:41:47,791 --> 01:41:50,750 You let your made-up friend circumcise our child? 2269 01:41:51,750 --> 01:41:54,082 Honey, he worked at Beefsteak Charlie's. 2270 01:41:54,083 --> 01:41:55,541 Beefsteak... 2271 01:41:56,125 --> 01:41:57,624 That is it. 2272 01:41:57,625 --> 01:41:59,290 You are camping out in the backyard 2273 01:41:59,291 --> 01:42:00,415 for the next six months. 2274 01:42:00,416 --> 01:42:01,790 Okay. Okay. 2275 01:42:01,791 --> 01:42:04,332 Very reasonable. That's more than fair. 2276 01:42:04,333 --> 01:42:06,332 It's going to be great. Thank you. 2277 01:42:06,333 --> 01:42:08,093 - Perfect. - Thank you. 2278 01:42:14,958 --> 01:42:16,500 I don't understand. 2279 01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:19,040 How did this happen? 2280 01:42:19,041 --> 01:42:20,540 Well... 2281 01:42:20,541 --> 01:42:23,083 When I found out what you did, I was pissed. 2282 01:42:24,500 --> 01:42:27,875 I told you I sold the story to MFMBC just to fuck with you. 2283 01:42:28,875 --> 01:42:32,124 But when Ricky was hired at Summerhayes, I thought, 2284 01:42:32,125 --> 01:42:35,999 wait a minute, maybe there actually is a story here. 2285 01:42:36,000 --> 01:42:38,290 So I pitched it to my producer at Channel 6. 2286 01:42:38,291 --> 01:42:40,040 They told their friend at MFMBC 2287 01:42:40,041 --> 01:42:42,041 and they gave me the green light. 2288 01:42:44,125 --> 01:42:46,250 All those lies, Erin... 2289 01:42:50,416 --> 01:42:52,375 Can you ever forgive me? 2290 01:42:57,166 --> 01:42:59,333 It's definitely not going to be easy. 2291 01:43:01,041 --> 01:43:02,250 But... 2292 01:43:03,458 --> 01:43:04,833 this helps. 2293 01:43:05,500 --> 01:43:07,624 I had everything. 2294 01:43:07,625 --> 01:43:09,666 I had good friends. I had a great job. 2295 01:43:11,958 --> 01:43:13,749 The most kind-hearted, 2296 01:43:13,750 --> 01:43:16,582 beautiful person in the whole world loved me. 2297 01:43:18,666 --> 01:43:21,166 Erin's the best thing that ever happened to me. 2298 01:43:24,375 --> 01:43:26,666 Ricky sent it to me today. 2299 01:43:30,333 --> 01:43:32,874 Here we go, here we go, here we go... 2300 01:43:32,875 --> 01:43:34,040 Who's that? 2301 01:43:36,291 --> 01:43:38,416 Ricky! Look out! 2302 01:43:45,708 --> 01:43:48,083 Did that go how you thought it would, wanker?! 2303 01:43:49,166 --> 01:43:52,791 Here, Rimestead! You've officially been served. 2304 01:43:53,583 --> 01:43:54,958 What the...? 2305 01:43:55,916 --> 01:43:57,082 What's this? 2306 01:43:57,083 --> 01:44:00,040 This is a cease-and-desist order from Billy Idol. 2307 01:44:00,041 --> 01:44:01,041 Yeah? 2308 01:44:01,042 --> 01:44:02,749 If you disgrace any of his songs 2309 01:44:02,750 --> 01:44:05,457 with your disgusting lyrics ever again, 2310 01:44:05,458 --> 01:44:06,790 we'll see you in court. 2311 01:44:06,791 --> 01:44:08,000 Huh? 2312 01:44:09,500 --> 01:44:10,666 Yeah. 2313 01:44:14,458 --> 01:44:15,999 So Billy Idol saw my act? 2314 01:44:16,000 --> 01:44:17,583 Fuck off! 2315 01:44:18,875 --> 01:44:20,250 Sweet! 2316 01:44:20,791 --> 01:44:23,124 More champagne, everyone! 2317 01:44:26,375 --> 01:44:27,749 Billy Idol! 2318 01:44:46,583 --> 01:44:48,540 Is this Al Green? 2319 01:44:48,541 --> 01:44:50,165 It's Otis Redding. 2320 01:44:50,166 --> 01:44:51,624 Was Otis Redding blind? 2321 01:44:51,625 --> 01:44:54,374 - No. - You sure? 2322 01:44:54,375 --> 01:44:57,332 - He sounds blind. - He does sound blind. 2323 01:44:57,333 --> 01:44:58,582 He wasn't... 2324 01:44:58,583 --> 01:45:00,582 I'll take a... cranberry juice. 2325 01:45:00,583 --> 01:45:03,041 Neat. And a plate of your crispiest calamari. 2326 01:45:03,541 --> 01:45:06,707 - Epic night, am I right, guys? - Yeah. 2327 01:45:06,708 --> 01:45:08,541 Ricky! Get over here. 2328 01:45:09,291 --> 01:45:10,791 Oh! 2329 01:45:11,750 --> 01:45:14,165 Time to go bump and grind with my fiancée. 2330 01:45:14,166 --> 01:45:15,790 You're kidding, right? 2331 01:45:15,791 --> 01:45:17,207 Yeah. 2332 01:45:17,208 --> 01:45:18,790 But I don't know, who knows, right? 2333 01:45:18,791 --> 01:45:21,415 Oh, hey, keep Saturday afternoon open. 2334 01:45:21,416 --> 01:45:22,832 We got a ton of work to do. 2335 01:45:22,833 --> 01:45:25,624 - Work on a Saturday? - Yeah, I signed us up. 2336 01:45:25,625 --> 01:45:27,499 We're going to help clean up Narragansett Bay. 2337 01:45:29,000 --> 01:45:30,040 Yeah, man. 2338 01:45:30,041 --> 01:45:33,000 I'm not messing with you. We're cleaning that shit up. 2339 01:45:39,541 --> 01:45:41,041 Man. 2340 01:45:43,458 --> 01:45:45,000 To Ricky Stanicky. 2341 01:45:45,583 --> 01:45:47,540 To Ricky Stanicky. 2342 01:45:47,541 --> 01:45:49,499 The best friend we ever had. 2343 01:51:13,750 --> 01:51:16,707 Before I get to that, I would like to say this. 173125