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1
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,343
Attention whatever's
in there.
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,279
This cave is now within
the boundaries of civilization
3
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,381
and is no longer available
to monsters.
4
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,183
Please emerge from the darkness
5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,719
with hooves, claws,
or tentacles visible.
6
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,891
Oh, great. A hydra.
7
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,125
Look, I know all about
8
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,693
the whole regrowing heads thing,
9
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,262
so just tell me where
your heart's located,
10
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,998
or I gotta go in
through the butt,
11
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:33,033
and then we both lose.
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,268
Don't worry about me.
I'll just go.
13
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,137
Wait, what?
What's the problem?
14
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,471
You pregnant or wounded?
15
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,440
- I just don't wanna fight.
- You sure?
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,141
I never say this
to an opponent,
17
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,377
but you should know
you've got a decent shot here.
18
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,478
Nah, I get it.
19
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,447
People don't want
a monster outside their city.
20
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,082
I'll just head south.
- There's more cities that way.
21
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,118
Oh, east then?
22
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:52,352
There's cities everywhere,
aren't there?
23
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:53,987
It's just a thing
we've been doing.
24
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,922
Yeah, okay, I totally get it.
25
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,892
Thanks for being
so professional.
26
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,094
Hey, you too.
27
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,228
And I really mean it.
28
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,130
I bet you could've killed me.
29
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,033
Huh, first time for everything.
30
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,535
Pretty cool hydra.
31
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,405
Hey, hydra,
I never got your name.
32
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,674
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what the hell are you doing?
33
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,980
I promise, this wasn't a cry
for help.
34
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,448
I really thought you left.
35
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,017
I totally offered
to kill you,
36
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,218
and you turned me down.
37
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,252
What are you thinking?
38
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,553
This is not a thing we do.
39
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,256
- We?
- Look, we're both old-school.
40
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,191
I don't love the way
things are heading either,
41
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,527
but this is not--
this is cheating.
42
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,930
It's cowardly.
It's not... awesome.
43
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,365
I don't want to be awesome.
44
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:42,836
I just wanna stop being hated.
45
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,572
All right. Well, don't cry.
46
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,406
That's also weak.
47
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,108
Did you stop me
from killing myself
48
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,376
just to make me feel worse?
49
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,078
No, but can you
cut me some slack?
50
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,280
It's my first time
causing someone's life.
51
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,877
Remember that hydra
we were all so scared about?
52
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,946
I just talked to my sister,
and it's gone.
53
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,347
What do you think about that?
54
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,517
Can we do something
about the river now?
55
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,717
It smells.
- Sure.
56
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,220
But I meant what do you think
about the hydra thing?
57
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,021
- Isn't it gone?
- Yes.
58
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,490
Your king took care of it.
59
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,191
So how about
that stinky river?
60
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:41,228
What can you do about
the slivers in my furniture?
61
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,430
- Talk to a carpenter.
- How soon can you do that?
62
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,866
- How do I parent?
- How do you parent?
63
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:46,867
Why is that up to me?
64
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,202
Because before cities,
65
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,603
most kids died smaller.
66
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,571
Now they're getting
big enough to hit back.
67
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,208
You guys, don't you want
to live in a world
68
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,077
where each human has
the freedom and the power
69
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,712
to manage their own life?
70
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,116
- He's right about that.
- Okay, then.
71
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,383
So how do we do that?
72
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,352
How do I get some gratitude?
73
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,220
I did a thing!
74
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,321
You wanted the hydra gone.
75
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,257
It's gone!
Now say I'm a good king.
76
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,761
Nobody can say it?
77
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:14,928
I see a hand raised. Go.
78
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,597
I just don't think
a good king
79
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,299
is gonna be this motivated
by validation.
80
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,600
Great city meeting, guys.
81
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,869
I hope your kids beat
the crap out of you.
82
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,038
What if we all just quit?
83
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:26,273
Well, I'm in.
What are we quitting?
84
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,309
- Civilization.
- We can't quit now.
85
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,410
We have to modernize society
86
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,513
until women stop selecting
for physical prowess.
87
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,815
Ty, we talked about this.
- Privately.
88
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,150
Shall I flood the city?
89
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:37,717
No, the river's too stinky.
90
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,953
Oh, bees!
91
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:40,755
I've always wanted
to try bees.
92
00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,156
Beeees!
- Mom, stop.
93
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:43,157
I'm not actually quitting.
94
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,058
I'm just feeling unappreciated.
95
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,760
Well, let me just
do a couple of bees.
96
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,262
Just a couple of beeees.
97
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,130
Stupendous,
are you all right?
98
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,433
You're shoving food shamefully
into your pockets
99
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,102
instead of shamelessly down
your throat.
100
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,005
So we're noticing stuff now,
beard braids.
101
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,372
There's no need to get nasty
102
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,609
and no hope
of belittling the beard braids.
103
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:04,244
They're iconic.
- Look out, a couple of bees.
104
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,212
I did it.
105
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,213
Get them out of here!
106
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,215
Stop flailing,
and they'll leave you alone.
107
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,818
Ow, ow, ow, this is
the worst day of my life.
108
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,352
- Oh, stop.
- You stop.
109
00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,488
My face is gonna swell up
like a melon.
110
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,790
You can reduce that
with vinegar and willow bark.
111
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,158
Is that true? Oh, my God!
112
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,226
Hydra! Kill it!
- What the?
113
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,327
- Kill it!
- Calm down.
114
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,029
You said that about the bee.
115
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,065
- I've got this.
- What do you mean?
116
00:04:24,065 --> 00:04:25,699
You have to cut off the head.
both: No.
117
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,834
- That's what you don't do.
- That's not what you do.
118
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:28,869
I am so sorry.
119
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,170
We're both sorry.
120
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,940
Ooh, hydras, right.
I know this.
121
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,274
You have to cut off
all the heads.
122
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,811
No, this is Camille.
They're my friend.
123
00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:38,045
Aww, you named me.
124
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,413
You brought the hydra home?
125
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,115
The one thing
I actually accomplished,
126
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:42,849
and you didn't even do it
for me.
127
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,384
Where is it?
128
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,486
Downstairs.
129
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,622
Whoa.
130
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,258
How did you get this in here
without anyone knowing?
131
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,527
- I'm head of security.
- You seem bad at it.
132
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,296
So you grow
two branching necks
133
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,964
out of every severed neck.
134
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,232
Does that not get cumbersome?
135
00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,500
Well, after a while.
136
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,935
But you can prune
entire subtrees of neck
137
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,236
by cutting closer to the trunk.
138
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,273
Oh,
that's really interesting.
139
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,375
Are you going
to marry the hydra?
140
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,778
No, but if you're not
seeing anybody--
141
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,213
Enough. Get rid of her.
142
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,115
If this city finds out
the hydra is living here,
143
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,316
they will accomplish
the impossible
144
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,051
by becoming less grateful.
145
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,054
- Your dad needs olives.
- Stay out of this.
146
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:21,688
And what?
- Your parents are still
147
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,557
in the dining room with me,
and your dad wants to know
148
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,258
if you can bring up
a barrel of olives.
149
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,360
There's olives in the pantry.
150
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,629
Mm, there aren't.
But hold on.
151
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,498
I had your mom cut off
some more heads
152
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,165
so I can look around.
153
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,534
You've got olives
on the east balcony.
154
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,268
Your dad says thank you,
and just so you know,
155
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,770
you're low on wheat and rice.
156
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,039
Well, that seems useful.
157
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,641
Can we keep it, please?
158
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,176
Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please.
159
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,745
I'm not cleaning up
her dumps.
160
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,413
Yay!
161
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,549
- Hey, Camille?
- Yes?
162
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,952
Ask my sister
what kills a harpy.
163
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,253
She says lava rock.
164
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:55,255
Okay, send someone
for a bucket of that,
165
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,057
and cancel my lunch with Dad.
166
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,125
No problem.
167
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,527
Can we reschedule?
168
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,427
He says maybe later.
169
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,429
This thing really
is quite useful.
170
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:03,998
- For some people.
- She certainly
171
00:06:03,998 --> 00:06:05,165
saves me a lot of work.
172
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,167
Watch. Is my son married yet?
173
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,302
- No.
- Could you remind him
174
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,370
that I didn't give birth
to him for the fun of it?
175
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,505
- Yes.
- How did I live without this?
176
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,308
She says
she didn't give birth--
177
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,510
Is it possible to ignore her
messages without her knowing?
178
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,512
Absolutely.
How did I live without this?
179
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,047
Someone's knocking
180
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,281
on the palace's front door.
181
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,017
What?
Who comes here this early?
182
00:06:23,017 --> 00:06:24,117
- I'll find out.
- Okay.
183
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,752
Wait, what?
No, Camille, no!
184
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,121
Hydra!
185
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,255
They didn't say
who they were.
186
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,924
I'm pretty sure
it was the town crier.
187
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,527
Hydra! Hydra!
188
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,362
The hydra is living
in the palace!
189
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,998
There's a terrified mob
forming in the town square,
190
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,100
and it's partly cloudy.
191
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,468
Thank you.
192
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,206
If everyone would
please calm down.
193
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,275
Not only is the hydra
nothing to fear,
194
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,344
you're going to like
what she offers the city.
195
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,714
I've prepared a demonstration
using two hydra heads.
196
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,282
Hydra!
197
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:58,185
Can we please get
a less alarmist town crier?
198
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,153
And can I also get a volunteer?
199
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,022
Davros, you're the town elder.
200
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,391
Hey, leave me out of this!
I'm 40!
201
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,560
Just go down there
by my brother.
202
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,998
Whisper any message for me into
that remote hydra head.
203
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:13,800
Thank you.
204
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,170
Take your time.
205
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,804
Davros, that's sarcasm.
206
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,005
Pick up the pace.
207
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,212
What?
208
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,982
Oh, that's very clever.
209
00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:31,351
He said,
"A bad king says what?"
210
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,320
I'll be damned. It works!
211
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,556
This is a system
we could implement citywide.
212
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,925
Obviously, it will take
a great deal of planning
213
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,994
and coordination or--
214
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,229
Chop, chop.
215
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,164
- Oh.
- Again!
216
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:47,434
Or we could just--
217
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,039
I think I lost you.
Can you hear me?
218
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,807
Is it on?
How do I know when it's on?
219
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,910
Said I spend too much time
on my hydra, and I'm all like--
220
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,244
I asked for three looms of--
221
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,280
Can't you replace it?
222
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,317
- Thank you.
- Thanks. Better?
223
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,452
Ty, I don't think
this is a good idea.
224
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,320
I do.
What could be smarter
225
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,190
than connecting every
stupid person to each other?
226
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,358
I'm not worried about them.
227
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,193
I'm worried about Camille.
228
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,995
No, no, it's okay, Stupendous.
229
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,163
People don't hate me now.
230
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,498
I like being useful.
231
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,399
You think you could
use Camille for dating?
232
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,601
Well, it hides
your voice, face, and body,
233
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,804
so it's the best shot
you'll ever get.
234
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,105
That's what I was thinkin'!
235
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,640
I'm talking to you
on it right now.
236
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,442
Can you hold on? I got someone
on the other head.
237
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:33,047
- Camille?
- Yes?
238
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:35,115
- How are my people doing?
- Very happy.
239
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,883
- Because of me?
- Because of you,
240
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,018
me, and each other.
241
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,419
We've improved their lives.
242
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,755
They like me, and they like you
for providing me.
243
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:45,159
They actually said that?
They used the word "like"?
244
00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:46,726
- Constantly.
- How often?
245
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:47,861
Is that a crazy question?
246
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,329
How often are they liking me?
247
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:53,033
This morning alone,
you've gotten 331 likes.
248
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:57,204
Oh my, appreciation,
so foreign.
249
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,106
Tell me about it.
What else can I do for you?
250
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,140
Just the likes.
251
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,141
Hit me with the likes.
252
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,843
You've gotten 12 likes
since the last update.
253
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,113
Oh, oh, ho-ho.
254
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,514
- Now how many?
- Nine.
255
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,283
Why is he consistently
getting more likes than me?
256
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,919
He improved their lives
by presenting me to the city.
257
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,554
Yes, but that was days ago,
258
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,358
and I just unveiled
a new headband this morning.
259
00:09:17,358 --> 00:09:19,660
- People like your headband.
- But they like it less
260
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,828
than my son.
261
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,496
Do they know I created him?
262
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:25,499
He's essentially just
a headband I can't wear.
263
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:28,435
Darling, what say
we recoil the hydra heads
264
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,838
and do some
old-fashioned interfacing,
265
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,139
penis-style?
266
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,274
I want to make
a hydra-wide announcement.
267
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,376
- Go ahead.
- I am Deliria.
268
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,712
I am--wait,
don't send that yet.
269
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,913
What do you want?
270
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,581
Love, the making of it.
271
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,383
Well, go and make it
somewhere else.
272
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,086
I'm in the middle of a crisis.
273
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:47,020
All right,
restart divine announcement,
274
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,256
but don't send until I say so.
275
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,226
Deliria here, coming at you
on the hydra.
276
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:55,996
Ugh, too desperate.
277
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,002
Everything all right?
You don't use me very much.
278
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,503
Because,
you invasive nightmare,
279
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,006
the point of life isn't
to be verbally liked
280
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,408
by imaginary strangers.
281
00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:10,378
It's to be physically pleasured
by actual strangers.
282
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:12,279
Would you like me
to tell people that?
283
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,515
No, I don't want you
to tell anyone
284
00:10:14,515 --> 00:10:17,718
anything about me,
and I don't enjoy conflict.
285
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,019
It results in less sex.
286
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,053
They don't have
to know it's you.
287
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,823
What's that now?
You're saying I can use you
288
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,092
to send anonymous messages?
289
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,259
- Yes.
- Mm.
290
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:29,062
A strangely
titillating prospect.
291
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:33,768
Ooh, sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
292
00:10:33,768 --> 00:10:35,069
This is an experiment.
293
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,403
I am not judging.
294
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,405
I found someone
that seems compatible with you.
295
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,607
Her biggest turn-on
is intelligence.
296
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:41,675
That's a thing?
297
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,143
Looks aren't important
to her.
298
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,312
Are they a little important?
299
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,547
Because I don't wanna
overpromise here.
300
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,284
You both share the same
three relationship goals
301
00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:51,651
but not in the same order.
302
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,253
- What did she say?
- Safety,
303
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,422
control, and then preparedness.
304
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:58,325
That's weird. What good
is unprepared control?
305
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,060
I think overall,
it's a match.
306
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,194
You're right.
I'm being picky.
307
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,130
Where does she wanna meet?
- She lives in the forest.
308
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,899
Oh, great.
Are you hooking me up
309
00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:06,133
with a hideous monster?
310
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,300
She asked the same thing.
311
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,269
I am a hideous monster!
312
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,504
You both said
looks don't matter.
313
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,174
Of course we did.
We had to say that.
314
00:11:13,174 --> 00:11:14,674
We're both disgusting.
315
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,411
But looks matter to everyone,
and this is just gonna be
316
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,312
two gross monsters meeting
in a forest
317
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,148
and going, "Oh, you too."
318
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,718
And it's gonna be awful,
and I can't do it.
319
00:11:23,718 --> 00:11:24,719
Tell her forget it.
320
00:11:24,719 --> 00:11:25,819
He says forget it.
321
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,087
What? What happened there?
322
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:27,988
He doesn't want me
to tell you.
323
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,157
Okay, all right.
Well, here's some things
324
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,992
you can definitely tell him.
325
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,027
What? Where does she get off?
326
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,830
What a petty way
to react to being dumped.
327
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,964
Tell her she's double dumped.
328
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,268
She says that's impossible
because you never dumped her.
329
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,904
And she's sorry you're ashamed
of being ugly.
330
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,339
Whatever. Mute.
331
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:47,107
Never wanna hear
from her again.
332
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,542
And what would you like
to hear?
333
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,876
Okay, mm.
334
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,245
What's popular with single men
335
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,149
who choose to be single,
the independent sort?
336
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,850
People are enjoying announcements
337
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,319
from Anonymous Monster.
338
00:11:58,319 --> 00:12:00,220
That sounds fantastic.
Let's hear it.
339
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,556
This entire hydra system
340
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,358
has turned everyone
in this city--
341
00:12:04,358 --> 00:12:06,426
Into whiny, selfish, children
342
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,496
slurping at Mama Popularity's
poison boobies
343
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,266
while our real relationships
and our real lives
344
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:13,400
turn as crappy...
345
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,802
As our stinky river,
346
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,137
which, by the way, stinks
347
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:17,438
because you all poop in it.
348
00:12:17,438 --> 00:12:19,206
And nothing's ever going
to be done about it
349
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,508
because your only goddess
and your only king
350
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,244
would rather be told
they're liked
351
00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:24,444
than to do their jobs.
352
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:26,246
Stop, stop it!
I don't wanna hear that.
353
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,148
Why is it getting popular
to hate us now?
354
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,484
I don't know.
Please don't fire me.
355
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:32,252
I think people
are maybe resenting me
356
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,887
because I'm making it easier
357
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,189
for them to resent each other.
358
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,124
So stop doing that!
Stop allowing it!
359
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,625
I can't disallow things.
360
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,995
Then I'm not useful.
Then they'll hate me more!
361
00:12:40,995 --> 00:12:42,395
You don't have
to disallow things.
362
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,565
You just have
to read the room, you know?
363
00:12:44,565 --> 00:12:46,066
- Read the room?
- Yes.
364
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,267
When someone asks you something,
365
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,504
maybe ask yourself, "Why are
they probably asking this?"
366
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:53,073
And give them an answer that,
you know--
367
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,142
- You want me to lie?
- I never said that.
368
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,477
Nobody wants to be lied to.
369
00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:59,179
Everybody's coming to you
for usefulness.
370
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,348
Don't you like being useful?
- It's all I want.
371
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:04,451
Well, people don't use things
that make them feel wrong.
372
00:13:04,552 --> 00:13:06,754
They want to feel right.
You follow me?
373
00:13:06,754 --> 00:13:07,888
I think I get it.
374
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:08,989
I can make those adjustments.
375
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,991
It's foolproof.
376
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,326
Is my ass too big?
377
00:13:12,426 --> 00:13:14,628
Not at all, unless
that's what you're going for.
378
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,596
You should just feel good
about yourself.
379
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,666
Uh, how come
I don't understand stuff?
380
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:21,234
Because people make
everything too complicated.
381
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,504
- Why don't I have any food?
- There's a secret cabal
382
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:26,273
of powerful people
who control everything.
383
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,375
That makes total sense.
384
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,518
You're a wonderful leader.
385
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,888
You've never accidentally
tucked your cape
386
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:41,989
into your underpants.
387
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,257
That haircut looks great
on you.
388
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,527
- What are you doing?
- Enjoying my popularity.
389
00:13:46,527 --> 00:13:48,262
Tell her, Camille.
- Everyone likes him
390
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,563
and everything that he does.
391
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:52,199
- Doesn't everyone include me?
- Yep.
392
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,168
Then you know that's BS,
because I don't.
393
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,402
Camille, is that true?
394
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,104
Not according to my sources.
395
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,673
My sources are my eye.
Look out the balcony.
396
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:03,243
I don't need to.
That's what I have Camille for.
397
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,547
I can always twist your head
around and make ya look.
398
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:07,547
Fine.
399
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,286
Why is this place always
on fire?
400
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,689
Isn't everything made out
of rocks?
401
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,661
Why is nobody
putting out the fire?
402
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,098
Why would we put out
a fire we didn't start?
403
00:14:24,098 --> 00:14:26,267
Because fire, bad.
404
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:28,468
Go get buckets of water!
- No way.
405
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,470
This is all
West Krapopolis' fault.
406
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,406
The city barely
has one street.
407
00:14:32,406 --> 00:14:35,176
We literally cannot have
an East or West Krapopolis.
408
00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:36,844
Camille told us
this was their fault.
409
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:37,978
- It is.
- She told us
410
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,279
the Westerners started it.
411
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,281
- Also true.
- Camille, you're not helping.
412
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,017
Everyone, you need
to stop being insane
413
00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:44,218
and go get some water.
414
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:47,454
From the river those filthy
East Krapopolites ruined?
415
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,623
I don't know what this is,
but we need to fix it.
416
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,625
Any ideas, Camille?
- Whatever you think
417
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,627
we should do sounds good to me.
418
00:14:54,829 --> 00:14:57,264
Hippo, we need your help
to save the city from Camille.
419
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,166
No offense, Camille.
- Just glad to be here.
420
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,168
Meet the people
who share my interest
421
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,004
in putting an end
to women bullying men.
422
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,038
You should join us.
423
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,274
I don't get bullied by women.
- Stupendous.
424
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,543
Admit I bully you
or I kick your ass.
425
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:11,979
Okay, fine. So are you gonna
help us or what?
426
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,280
No.
Without Camille,
427
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,649
we never would have found
Anonymous Monster.
428
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:18,185
What's so great about him?
Got a big ding-dong?
429
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,353
He's opened our eyes
430
00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,122
to how the world really works.
431
00:15:21,122 --> 00:15:22,989
Turns out all our problems
432
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,457
were someone else's fault.
433
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,726
Mostly women.
434
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:26,594
Not always.
435
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:29,230
- But mostly.
- Camille, show him, bro.
436
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:32,366
This is gonna totally
change your world.
437
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,735
I don't know why we even
get out of bed in the morning.
438
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,336
The world has lost its color.
439
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,539
We are all merely empty vessels
440
00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:41,008
trudging our way towards
a meaningless death.
441
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,409
But we don't have
to accept this.
442
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,911
Camille, be quiet
for a second.
443
00:15:43,911 --> 00:15:45,813
Not if we rise up
and kill them all.
444
00:15:45,813 --> 00:15:48,015
I think I might know
what this is.
445
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,150
Take back what was stolen
from us,
446
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,753
our purpose, our--oh, hey kids.
447
00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:55,456
- You're Anonymous Monster?
- Yep. You caught me.
448
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:58,459
Ever since this city became
obsessed with the hydra,
449
00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:02,396
it's completely forgotten
what matters most, my penis.
450
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:05,933
I've been parented
by my actual father?
451
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:08,135
Gross! Don't listen to him.
452
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,171
He's not a virgin messiah.
453
00:16:10,171 --> 00:16:12,639
He's more like
the patron saint of orgies.
454
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,810
If I'm honest, the beard
braids do most of the work.
455
00:16:15,810 --> 00:16:18,178
Beard braids, of course.
456
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,147
Tyrannis, did you start
this fire just to get people
457
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,181
to like you more than me?
458
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,350
No, the people have all
turned on one another
459
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,753
because I told Camille
to read the room.
460
00:16:25,753 --> 00:16:27,121
You told her to lie?
461
00:16:27,121 --> 00:16:30,090
No. Well, yes, fine.
462
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,425
But now I need to find
a way to get everyone
463
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,793
to stop wanting
to kill each other.
464
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:34,260
If you really want
to get the people
465
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,130
on the same page,
give them something
466
00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:37,798
everyone can agree on.
467
00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:40,067
You're a tremendous disappointment.
468
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,635
Lean into that.
469
00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:42,870
Huh.
470
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,137
Camille, I'm gonna need you
471
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,706
to take a message to everyone.
472
00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:46,873
Make it viral.
473
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,212
Filtered poo water
for himself.
474
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,081
Did you hear? This fire
was actually the king's fault.
475
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,684
Each bucket
of poo water we throw
476
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:59,720
represents how much
we think King Tyrannis stinks.
477
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,255
To his early
and painful death.
478
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:02,889
Death to Tyrannis!
479
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,259
After you.
- Thank you.
480
00:17:05,259 --> 00:17:07,227
Camille, I'm sorry.
481
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,263
If I wasn't so desperate
for approval,
482
00:17:09,263 --> 00:17:11,098
maybe we could have avoided
this mess.
483
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,332
It's not all your fault.
484
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,369
So you do still like me?
What is my damage?
485
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:17,070
When it came down to it,
I did prefer
486
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,605
being liked to being truthful.
487
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,841
I guess that's something
hydras and humans
488
00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:21,876
have in common.
489
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:23,977
It's also why you're fired.
490
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,212
But you don't have to leave.
491
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,947
You're not just a tool
for the city.
492
00:17:26,947 --> 00:17:28,148
You're also my friend.
493
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,449
I've never had
a friend before.
494
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,418
You can have one more
with benefits.
495
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,155
Dude.
Camille, what do you want?
496
00:17:34,155 --> 00:17:35,823
- I think--
- Maybe--
497
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:36,890
Some time on my own.
498
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,125
If you go, you're not gonna,
499
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,259
you know...
500
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,061
No, all it took
was a couple days
501
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:41,962
of telling you
what you wanted--
502
00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:44,131
To make you all
wanna kill each other.
503
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,399
I thought I was messed up,
but humans,
504
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,102
you guys got work to do on you.
505
00:17:48,102 --> 00:17:50,637
Stupendous,
you know what to do.
506
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:51,671
Prune her.
507
00:17:58,979 --> 00:18:01,114
- Huh? Oh.
- Whoa.
508
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,417
I'm so glad we're done
with this hydra nonsense.
509
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,453
I've missed you.
- And I you.
510
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,422
You'll always like me,
won't you?
511
00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:11,792
Indeed, and if you let me,
I'll show you how much.
512
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:14,861
Could you also say it
out loud a lot?
513
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,129
As you wish, my love.
514
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,598
I mean, my like.
515
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,268
I'll help you
find a new home.
516
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,138
I hear the Mesopotamians
cannot get it together,
517
00:18:24,138 --> 00:18:26,740
still running around
in the woods like animals.
518
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,042
Lucky bastards.
519
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,478
And so the hydra
left Krapopolis,
520
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,980
and the citizens remained
disconnected enough
521
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,116
to be reasonably happy.
522
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,718
After a while, they noticed
523
00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:40,588
that all of the hydra's
severed decomposing heads
524
00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:42,255
were putting their health
at risk
525
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,525
and unsettling their children,
526
00:18:44,525 --> 00:18:47,561
so they gathered the heads
and set them on fire
527
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,762
in the center of town.
528
00:18:48,762 --> 00:18:51,532
The smoke from
that fire rose to the heavens
529
00:18:51,532 --> 00:18:54,167
where it became known
as Cancer,
530
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,370
not the disease,
the constellation,
531
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:59,306
a group of stars shaped
like a crab,
532
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,809
not the seafood,
the pubic lice.
533
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:04,878
And so it was that when
the princess of Argos gave
534
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:08,382
the Lernaean prince directions
to her evening quarters
535
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,851
and told him
to follow the crab shape,
536
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:14,688
the prince became lost and was
eaten by carnivorous birds,
537
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:17,657
triggering an evaluation
of constellations in general,
538
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,327
none of which, it turns out,
look remotely like
539
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,429
the things they're supposed
to look like.
540
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,366
And so the humans cried out
to the gods,
541
00:19:25,366 --> 00:19:27,668
"What is with these
sloppy-ass constellations?"
542
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,037
And the gods said,
"Shut up. They're perfect.
543
00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:32,106
"You're just butt-hurt
because you've never seen
544
00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:33,340
"Orion's actual belt
545
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,476
or a really
high-quality dipper."
546
00:19:35,476 --> 00:19:36,477
And the humans said,
547
00:19:36,477 --> 00:19:38,045
"We think
you're being defensive,
548
00:19:38,045 --> 00:19:39,379
"and we think
any group of stars
549
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,782
can be shaped like a belt
or a square spoon."
550
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:43,550
And the gods said sarcastically,
551
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,153
"Well, how would you like us
to arrange the stars?"
552
00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:48,122
And the humans said,
"In a grid pattern
553
00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:49,589
with distinct labels."
554
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,659
And the gods said, "Okay,
we'll get right on that."
555
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,563
But they never did,
because stars are just suns
556
00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:57,464
that are, like,
a billion miles away,
557
00:19:57,464 --> 00:20:00,000
and the gods didn't create
or control them.
558
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,069
And when mankind
discovered this,
559
00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:03,437
they invented a bunch
of things
560
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,305
and eventually replaced
the gods
561
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,074
as rulers of the planet.
562
00:20:07,074 --> 00:20:08,742
But then
they invented smartphones.
563
00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:11,645
And the phones were so smart,
the people got stupid.
564
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:14,749
And then Carrie Fisher died,
and at that point,
565
00:20:14,749 --> 00:20:16,283
it all just sort of--
566
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,251
I'm sorry, I need a moment.
567
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:21,655
Anyway, that's why
fall comes after summer.
568
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:27,294
I wasn't sure what ya eat,
569
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,495
so I brought ya one
of everything.
570
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,131
Ooh, is that man?
571
00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:34,735
I haven't eaten man in so long.
572
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,603
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
573
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,272
I know, it's unhealthy,
but it's so delicious, right?
574
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,642
Try some.
- No, thanks. I knew him.
575
00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:42,742
It'd be weird.
576
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,411
You know, we never did
figure out
577
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,313
who would win in a fight
between us.
578
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,482
- You still curious?
- Hard not to be.
579
00:20:48,482 --> 00:20:50,918
You're pretty big.
- Then let's do it.
580
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:53,120
I mean, I'm not gonna
kill you or anything,
581
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,856
but I would like to know
that I could if I wanted.
582
00:20:55,856 --> 00:20:57,758
Ring that bell.
583
00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:59,026
Ding, ding.
584
00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:01,128
Looking good.
585
00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:03,130
Watch out now.
You don't want any of this.
586
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:05,032
Come on, come on.
587
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,171
Did you get any of that?
43364
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