All language subtitles for The.Regime.S01E03.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab+MAX_HI.en

(shoveling dirt)

(birds chirping)

(plucky music playing)

(chef speaking French)

♪

Agnes: Alain?

What did I say?
What did I say?

Three distinct soils from
three distinct local ecosystems.

That's what the
Corporal asked for.

That's what it's
gotta look like.

(speaking French)

Christ, can't we just
slip her some blinis?

If you want the Foundling Guard

to play marimba
on your gonads, yeah.

I can't keep on like this.

Dressing like a peasant,
dishing out slop

whilst the goon squad does
me a colonoscopy with their eyes.

Buck up, Malcolm. You
might get fired by lunchtime.

♪

Lift your arms.

Oh, yes, it's tingling.

- Yes. - Yes, I can really
feel that, actually.

- It's supposed to be.
- Mm, yeah, it's lovely.

Hey!

What is this?
It's not boiled.

Um, no, sir.

Uh, sautéed, uh, in butter.

You have shit in your ears?

I said boiled and salted.
Take it back.

Come on, take it back,
your fancy French bullshit.

(Herbert exhaling)

Elena Vernham:
Mm.

This crunchy one has got a
bit of, um, zing to it, hasn't it?

- Mm.
- I-I know I'm a broken record,

but are you sure
it's safe to eat?

- It can't be nutritious.
- Herbert Zubak: Oh, it's very good for you.

It's what we used to eat
when we had nothing.

Yes, but we don't have
nothing now, do we?

We, in fact, have quite
a lot of something.

That's exactly
your problem, my friend.

- Your friend? I'm not your friend...
- Elena: No, no, no, no, no.

Come on, Nicky.

We trust Herbert's
folk remedies, don't we?

They cured us
of the wretched mold, after all.

- We'll go over more cuts
later, right? - Elena: Yes.

The great culling
of the fuckwit army.

Nicholas Vernham:
A-Actually, on that point, um,

the staff is growing
a bit jumpy with the firings.

S-Sorry.
The contractions or wh...

Um... it-it's
all a bit brutal.

- It's good.
- Not hugely terrific for morale, is it?

Well, sorry, Nicky, but we can't
have dead weight on the payroll.

You know, we need
a lean operation.

- No baby fat.
- And no leeches.

Lenny, I have those
financials for you to review.

- The thing.
- What thing?

The thing.
You know, my love...

the Belize fund.

No, later.
Later, yeah?

Now, I have to make
preparations for Daddy's birthday.

You can handle the, uh, cabinet
meeting by yourself, can't you?

Herbert:
Sure. (snorts)

(suspenseful music playing)

Singer: So, are
you going to tell me?

Schiff:
Tell you what?

Why you are dressed like

an effete goatherder?

I have no idea what you mean.

Oh, my God, Victor.

Don't tell me you've gone
rural to please him. Hm?

Schiff: Beg your pardon,
certainly not.

Trying to dodge the boot, huh?

Why don't you go
and show the Corporal

your imported
silk undies, too, eh?

- Mr. Ploughman? See how
he fancies those. - Oh.

(door opens)

Oh, you look
exceedingly well, Corporal.

I will be leading
the meeting today.

Oh, I trust the
Chancellor is well?

She's fine.

I see. Well, glad
to hear it, Corporal.

Schiff:
Um, (clears throat)

actually, we have a
small gift for you, sir.

It's a bejeweled Frankish sword

in the style of what
historians believe

the Foundling himself
would've had...

- I don't need your fucking sword.
- Yes, of course.

So... Chancellor Vernham
asked me to read you this.

"Corporal Zubak and I have decided
jointly on a package of reforms,

"one that is pursuant
to our policy

"of improving the lives
of working families.

"Greed and foreign money

"must be stricken
from our national character.

"And we shall introduce
a new policy:

"large-scale transference
of private property

"from the landowning elite
to the working classes.

We must enact these broad
reforms as soon as possible."

I-I say well done, Corporal.

So, it's land reform, is it?

That's what I said.

So then you'll know of the
risks involved in land reform?

Traditionally, economic
slowdown, food scarcity?

You'll have brushed up
on your South African history?

I said we are doing it.

(chuckles)
Then we'll look into it,

once we have the
Chancellor's go-ahead.

No, you already have it.
I just fucking read it to you.

No, (chuckles) of course,
of course. It just...

I just meant her official
comp-compliance.

(tense music playing)

You will start planning it
now because I told you to.

You understand?

Yes, (stammers) yes, of course.

Certainly, sir.
I-I'm sorry if I...

Remember what happened
to Emil Bartos... hm?

- Yes, sir, but...
- That was just the beginning.

♪

Very well, Corporal.

Thank you. We'll get
started on everything.

Well, my friends,
all hail the Foundling's heir.

♪

(upbeat, plucky theme playing)

♪

♪

(theme concludes)

(empowering music playing)

Elena: My loves,

from atop our proud
mountain peaks

and over the fields
of flowering sugar beets,

we hear the song
of our ancestors.

They beckon to us,
calling us homeward

to the values and traditions
we once cherished.

And in their simple
joy and wisdom,

we discover the sacred
and self-evident truth.

This beloved land
must belong to you.

So, very soon I will deliver

what previous Chancellor
Edward Keplinger

failed to deliver:
a comprehensive program...

of land reform.

(singers vocalizing)

I will take back

what the fiendish
oligarchs stole from you

and eradicate
rural poverty forever.

(on video playback) Never
again shall your labor be forsaken.

Never again shall
our dream be denied.

Cut it.
Was that good?

- Herbert: Perfect.
- Was it? Are you sure?

- Herbert: Perfect.
- Wasn't too earnest?

Lovely, lovely, ma'am.

Uh, we will need to discuss
how we budget for this.

It could require dipping
into the holding company.

Elena: Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We keep all that separate.

Thank you, Mr. Singer. Herbert?

Herbert:
It's fucking great, right?

Just like
in our dream, remember?

Hm? Yes! No, yes.
No, exactly like it.

Yes. Land reform.

Chunky words. Exciting.

I'll spare a thought
for the Americans.

They'll be in fucking
fits over this.

No, Elena. We don't think
about them anymore, alright?

They are gone now. It's just
us and our people right here.

(chuckles) No. No, of course.
Only being puckish.

- (indistinct chatter)
- (door opens)

Nicholas:
Oh, here you are, my love.

They brought your tea.
Shall I pour us some?

I've been thinking, Lenny.

It-It really punches
through, land reform.

- Yes, I think so.
- Yeah. The Robin Hood of it all.

- You do see the problem, don't you?
- The problem?

You can't be Robin Hood
and the king

at the same time.

- The holding company, Lenny.
- I can do both.

Both? No, you-you can't
give the country back

while continuing to stash
half of it in your purse.

We skim a little cream
off the top. It's fine.

It's more than a
little cream, my love.

Surely she doesn't mean "reform"

in the most literal sense

of changing the form of what is?

She doesn't care what she means.

She would bankrupt this country

if that Belligerent
Buffalo tells her to.

- The plan was always to elevate him.
- Singer: Elevate him, yes.

Not turn him into
Herbert the fucking Terrible.

It is because of him that
our cobalt mines lie dormant.

Because of him, our GDP
is shrinking like a sphincter.

He has made
the American cash cow

leave for greener pastures.

She'll lose interest.
She always does.

What if this time, she doesn't?

I'm working on it.

Madam, as per your request,
I've compiled a full report

on recent American media
trends and intelligence chatter.

And the dominant
conversation, of course,

continues to be Taiwan.

With tensions escalating,
the U.S. State Department's

attempting to engage China...

Oh, no, let's start
with Europe, yeah?

Well, eh, uh, yes.
Yes, of course, um...

Well, uh, we've
seen increased focus

on Germany's troubled markets...

No, no.
Closer to us.

- Closer than Germany, Madam. Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, the U.S. continues
to eye opportunities

for investment
in the Faban Corridor.

Now, our assets in the
region are monitoring...

But nothing on us, no?

No fun crackle on, um...
Oh, God. Kansas frump?

You know, what's her name?
Um, Ho... Senator Holt.

Well, Madam, I would say
the new isolationist policies

devised by Corporal Zubak
and yourself

appear to have succeeded.

You and your government...

figure minimally in
American media of late.

- Hm.
- It seems as though that they've moved on.

Which is what you
wanted, of course.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Door.

(sighs)

Happy almost birthday, Daddy.

Christ, (chuckles) look at you.

Painted up like a Dutch whore.

Here. These are
dead. You're dead.

Lots in common.
Much to discuss. (sniffs)

(scoffs) Well, we've
gone very rural here.

You're going to hate it.

Well, tough tits.

Oh, stop looking at me
like that. I'm f... I'm fine.

I'm better than fine, actually.

I've just, um,
well, I haven't been

sleeping well, that's all.

And, uh, it happens to be
a terrific idea, land reform.

Yeah. It's not weak
or boring.

You're, you're, you're wrong.

And just because it
isn't big enough for you.

You and your Faban
annexation pipe dreams.

Delusional.

(scoffs) Fuck.

This is the real world,
Daddy... grow up!

And you're wrong
about Herbert, too.

Yeah... I'm fully in
control of that situation.

- (light, tense music playing)
- Yes, I am.

What's the matter?

Oh, do you feel threatened?

Because he's a real man?

And you're a dried-up
old cricket

with teensy little balls.

Oh, you're jealous?

Is that it?

Is that why you're trying to
drive me mad, like Mummy?

Well, it won't work.

(scoffs)
I am father-inoculated.

I... I spit you out,
I refuse you, I reject you

because you are
fucking pathetic!

No, no. I'm sorry.
Sorry. No, sorry.

Just, uh...

Let's just forget about it,
shall we, please?

(music intensifies)

Yeah, I don't want to spoil
your big day tomorrow. Sorry.

Sorry, Daddy.

(distant short exhales)

Herbert:
Warm up, Elena.

(Herbert grunting)

- Come on!
- Alright. God.

Shoulders back.

Come on, from the
hips, from the hips.

- Here... Here.
- (Elena grunting)

What is it?

Nothing.
I'm just, uh, I'm fine.

I'm just a bit tired,
that's all.

Herbert: A bit tired?

I was just...

talking to Daddy earlier...

and...

- (Herbert clears throat)
- I just was thinking, is it,

(grunts)
is it right, land reform?

Is it what we need?

No, it is. It-It, it is.
I-I think it is, yes.

I just... I don't want the
rope going slack, that's all.

Just...

No, I-I-I, I do
think it will work.

Yes, I do like it.

No, what are you doing?!
God, wh...

- Come here.
- What?

- Come here. Get on the floor!
- Ow, ow!

- Ow! Ow, my hand!
- Come on, get down!

- Next to the vent!
- You're hurting me!

- Closer to the vent.
- No, no, no, no.

Come on, no.
Right next to it.

- (cries) No, no, no!
- Right next to it!

Come on, breathe.
(inhales)

Come on, breathe
your fuckin' poison!

- (muffled crying)
- Come on!

(muffled)
No, I can't! I can't!

I'm sorry.
(cries)

I can't.

I can't do it.
I can't.

(panting)

Elena, you cannot do it...

because you are not cured.

You are still sick in the head.

It's not inside these walls.

It's inside you.
Let it out.

- What?
- Really let it out.

Tell me everything.

What are you hiding?
Tell me everything.

Oh, God. (heavy
breathing) Everything?

(tense music playing)

Oh, well, fuck me.
I don't know.

Where would I begin?

It's, it's everywhere.
There's... Right.

(heavy breathing)

Slush funds in Belize,

state bank, the holding company.

Fucking a billion
or more in assets.

My name, Nicky's name
through our partners.

Thousands, thousands
of fucking strings

of-of-of money,

purloined from local businesses,

farms, pension funds.

- Just, just, just shit
I can't ever unravel. - Mm.

It's just, I have made
such a fucking mess.

I'm sorry.
(groans, sighs)

♪

(Herbert groans)

Ouch, that hurts.

Poetry has always
been the lifeblood

of any thriving civil society,

and with the blessed
help of our government,

these poetry centers
shall be the fountains

from which our national
spirit might quaff,

if I may say poetically.

What is it?

(deep breathing)

- What the fuck happened?!
- She's alright.

- Well, Elena, what happened?
- Oh, thank you...

Look, I'm fine.
This is ridiculous.

We were exercising,
and I-I overdid it.

This is unacceptable, Corporal.

You can't push her like this.

She hasn't been eating well.

Herbert: She's been eating
well for the first time in her life.

I'm f... I'm fine.

(sighs)
I just slipped.

It's that gym floor, Nicky.

It's like a fucking
dolphin's back.

Okay. Fetch Agnes. We're getting
the Chancellor a proper dinner.

- Uh, no, you're not.
- Now listen, Corporal,

I've been very patient with your
process these past few months,

and I believe we've
accommodated each other

with as little friction

as can be expected
under the circumstances.

But now my wife's health and
happiness have been jeopardized.

Herbert: No. She's
happy and she's healthy.

The only one who is not is you.

Nicholas:
I beg your pardon?!

Oh. Oh, just stop it,
you two!

If my energy is low,
it's because I'm not sleeping.

Not sleeping?!

You're a housecat
on opium, darling.

- She's not sleeping well.
- It's true.

It's your twitching, Nicky.
It's your hypnic jerks.

Well, how can I sleep
with all that foot jiggling?

- Nicholas: Well, why didn't
you say so? - I'm sorry.

It's just...
Well, we had a little chat,

and perhaps you and I
ought to try a night apart.

What-What do you mean?

I just need to regulate, Nicky.

I-I don't understand.
Is this just for tonight?

Yeah, yeah.
Just for tonight.

Just a night,
or (stammers) a few.

And this is your idea
or his idea?

Herbert: It's our idea.

(stammers)
It's Herbert's suggestion,

- which I agree with.
- (knocks on door)

(door opens)

Pardon me, Madam.
How can I help?

Hello, Agnes. You would
like to know how you can help?

Yes, Corporal, if you please.

Yes, I do please.

I please to (yells) fuckin' hang
you out that window by your ankles!

(softly)
Oh, God.

What is it that's
your concern, sir?

Elena nearly died sliding
on that ice rink you call a gym.

- Herbert, please, I-I...
- No, it's alright, madam.

(plucky, tense music playing)

Corporal, I can assure you
that the gymnasium...

and indeed every inch
of this palace

has been maintained
to the standard

to which it's always
been maintained,

which is to say,
the very highest.

Mm, you harm her again, we
send you to the zoo as lion food.

Do you understand?

♪

Yes, Corporal.

Think we understand
each other quite well.

(speaks French)

Get out!

Oh, God. Out!
Everyone, please.

I just... I'm getting
an early night.

(Elena sighs)

(heavy breathing)

♪

(sighs)

(birds chirping)

(plucky music playing)

Agnes:
Alright, everyone, eyes up.

Eyes up.

Good morning.

Madam and Corporal Zubak

have asked that the menu
for Joseph's birthday dinner

include "folk cuisine of
thorough and rigorous nutrition."

- (staff groans)
- My condolences to your whisks.

(Alain speaking French)

(quietly) Almost out
of Oskar's pills.

(quietly)
Yeah, I can't.

Peter... I need them.

And if I deviate from
the new medical regime,

he'll have me in
prison by suppertime.

I'm sorry.

And there we are.

Or more like this probably?

- No, ri-right. Right a bit.
- No? No, right, right, right.

- Oh, stop it, oh, stop it!
- (Nicholas laughs)

- Only joking.
- Just...

Is your wrist still hurting?

A bit.

Our friend Diazepam
might do you good.

Ease the pain.

No, Nicky, uh, Herbert's
given me a tincture thingy.

And that's working, is it?

Stop it.

I'll wait for you downstairs.

(pensive music playing)

(sighs)

- (music intensifies)
- (cameras clicking)

(applause)

And who the fuck
are all these people?

I thought it had to be a
birthday party with real people,

not some fancy fucks
and fine china,

so, uh, I took
the liberty of inviting

some of our people
from the countryside.

It's a great opportunity.

Opportunity?

Yes, you know,
to, uh, to tell them.

Tell them what?

What you told me
about the money.

- To tell them? Uh...
- Yes, you don't have to tell details.

You just tell them
you made mistakes,

that you took from them,
and clean your conscience.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- I-I-I don't think I'll be doing that.
- Why not? Why not?

Well, (stammers) it's...
do ya know, it's not really

that sort of occasion, hm, is it?

No, it's-it's more of a celebration.
Yes, that's it.

- Herbert: Elena...
- Let's sit down there.

- (indistinct chatter)
- (clinking glass)

Elena: Welcome.

I'm so thrilled you are all here

because you are
the real people...

and that's what my
father would've wanted.

As for you, birthday boy...

83 today.
Congratulations.

Daddy, you and I
both know that you are

- still very much here with me.
- Schiff: Mm.

And so happy birthday
to Daddy and, uh,

- (sings) ♪ Many more ♪
- (quiet laughter)

And I bless you all
for joining us.

(clinking glass)

Herbert:
Hello, everyone, uh,

I am not, uh, really good
at speeches, but, um...

my people had a toast:

(clears throat) "You may
build it as tall as you want,

but you build it
from our earth!"

(all cheering)

Our earth, yes!

And I would like to add...
sorry, we would like to add,

we are terribly sorry

for everything that has
been taken away from you.

Your toil, your hope,
your money...

all (singing):
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- ♪ Happy birthday, dear Joseph ♪
- ♪ Happy birthday, dear Daddy ♪

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

(Herbert snorts)

(gasps)

(sniffles)

Happy birthday, Daddy.

Um...

now, listen, I know I said some
things yesterday that weren't,

weren't very kind,
and I just... I... (sighs)

- I just want...
- (distorted) Shut your fucking mouth.

(gasps) I'm sorry, I...

And stop apologizing, girl.

I w... I wi... I will.

These hogs may
call you Chancellor,

but I know who you really are.

Tell me who I really am.

A vapid, feckless,
political whore

with no principles.

A comic figure,
bereft of vision,

easily ruled.

All tits and no spine.

- Like your mother.
- Yes. Yes, I-I kn... I know.

Oh, God. Can't you
speak properly?

(stammers) Don't... Stop saying that.
I-I-I'm trying, Daddy.

You always just lie back
and take it, don't you?

That's why the
Americans loved you.

Are you going
to take it from him?

Uh...

He has you sucking
his cock, doesn't he?

(tense music playing)

Answer, you ugly bitch.

(gasps, stammers)

Pathetic.

Listen to me...

be bold... for once
in your hollow little life,

seize the mantle of history.

Yes. Yes, I'll try.
I'll try, promise.

I promise, Daddy.

(gasps, exhales)

(deep breathing)

♪

(sighs)

Herbert: I'm having a land
reform planning meeting after this,

so I will, uh, fill you in
on everything later, yes?

Elena: I think I'll join
the meeting today.

Agnes? Would you ask
Mr. Laskin to let them know, please?

- Agnes: Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Well, here we go.
Strap in, my fuckaneers.

I-I-I think I've
come around, actually.

Uh, well, yes, yes.

Yes, I-I think perhaps this,
uh, might be a marvelous notion.

Oh, sure. Redistribute
property, tank the economy,

empty the grocers.

White Zimbabwe, here we come.

So, uh, i-if one had a
summer cottage at Lake Ober,

somethin' like that wouldn't be,

as it were,
"redistributed," would it?

(door opens)

Schiff: Uh, Madam Chancellor,
Corporal Zubak,

so glad you could both join us.

Singer: Indeed.
We have prepared for you both

a planning precis regarding
the rollout of what we'd like to call

the Vernham Agrarian Reform
and Development Program.

So, if you'd like to take
a glance at the land reform

planning packets
in front of you,

we thought we'd might
like to start with, uh,

well, Section One:
Farm Expropriation.

Now, this has been adjusted
to our current budget...

Minister Singer, that's
not where I'd like to start.

Singer:
Wh... Oh, very well, Madam.

- Where would you like to start?
- The land itself.

- Right, um, in so far as...?
- Securing it.

Singer:
Securing it?

Obviously, one needs to secure
the land before reforming it.

Singer: Well, uh,
certainly, Madam, um,

uh, and in terms
of the actionable...

Priority one is to protect the
security and autonomy of our people.

And a program of reunification
with our Faban brothers

is the only way
to ensure our sovereignty.

Reunification?

(curious music playing)

I think this might
get some chatter

from our American friends,
don't you think, Mr. Laskin?

Madam, I hope
my report, my counsel,

did not animate this.

Oh, no, no.
Not at all. (chuckles)

Though I imagine your
job is about to become

quite interesting.

- What are we...
- Still our plan, my love.

Taking back what's been stolen,

which would be impossible
without reuniting

with the Faban Corridor first.

Yes? Good?

Good.
It's cleaner this way.

And it's actually the only way.

- Yeah. - Madam, if you are indeed
proposing an annexation

of the Faban Corridor,

I must ardently
advise extreme caution.

Madam, no contingency
plans exist.

We would be playing
the invasion by ear.

No one knows how
the NATO powers will react,

and if the security forces
in the Faban zone resist,

it'll be a bloodbath.

Mr. Laskin, no one is
proposing an invasion. No one.

This is an expression
of peace and love

towards our countrymen
across the border.

- Laskin: But, Madam...
- Onwards, my friends.

So, let's aim to mobilize
by end of the week?

I think that sounds
reasonable, yeah?

Oh, and Herbert, we
should send you out there.

Give you a new title,

something like, um,
Faban Freedom Captain.

Yeah, something like that.
Something fun, snappy.

Yeah? Good.

♪

My loves. At long
last, we have arrived

at the sacred hour
of our glorious dream realized.

Indeed, it appears a
reckoning has finally arrived

for all who ever desired
Faban self-determination.

I have dispatched top aides,
including newly appointed

Faban Freedom Commander
Herbert Zubak,

to ensure that
these ancestral lands

are reclaimed
with the utmost care.

Chancellor Vernham
and her supporters

have vied for these
800 square miles

of ethnic mountain
land for years.

Reporter 1: Chancellor Vernham's
regime has been careful

to describe the operation
as a "lawful annexation."

(speaking native language)

Reporter 2:
Vernham's defiant turnabout...

reporter 1:
But the shots we're seeing,

unmarked vehicles moving
silently into Faban territory,

are impossible to deny.

This is all the hallmarks
of an occupation.

This isn't an
occupation, my friends.

Even as I speak,
the Faban Parliament

is voting unanimously
to approve this reunion.

Reporter 3: A mere 12 days
after Vernham entered

the Faban Corridor illegally.

Sources say Faban legislators
have been forced at gunpoint

to unanimously
approve annexation,

making it official.

Reporter 4: The White House
responded swiftly today,

calling the invasion
"a tragic assault

"on Faban self-determination

and a mockery of NATO
peacekeeping efforts."

The developments in
the Faban Corridor this week

underscore the importance

of our transatlantic
partnerships.

(on tablet) Chancellor Vernham
calls this a reunification,

but we know the truth:

She seized this land illegally,

and there will be consequences.

(indistinct chatter)

(tense music playing)

Reporter: Chancellor Vernham's
long-held dream

of regaining control
of the Faban Corridor

is finally being realized.

Most would agree that a reunion

with our Faban
brothers and sisters

is a cause for celebration.

But what will be the
long-term effects on our...

♪

(journalists chattering)

Elena:
Sit, sit, sit.

(exhales) Nice to see
you all. Good morning.

Journalist 1: Madam Chancellor,
does last week's military operation

- in the Faban...
- "Military operation"? No. (chuckles)

Let's not use these words:
"Military operation."

No, not a single shot has
been fired in the Faban Corridor

and there have been
no casualties.

Madam Chancellor, to
what extent does this reunion

violate international
agreements?

The agreements to
which you refer are archaic

and, therefore, not legal.

All we are doing
is realizing our dream,

our dream of a new Europe,

without limits, without cruelty.

And I assure you our actions
are in full compliance with the law.

- Who's next?
- Madam Chancellor?

- Elena: Yeah.
- (door opens)

Have you thought through
all the possible risks?

Economic sanctions,
a possible visa ban?

Elena:
Did you ask the United States

if they thought through
the possible risks

of their exploits
in Afghanistan, Iraq,

Yemen, Libya, Indonesia,
Central America,

every corner of the world?

Actions which were carried
out at great human cost

with no resulting
UN sanctions whatsoever.

Did you ask them about that,
did you? No, I didn't think you did.

Journalist 2:
Madam, the stock market...

- Elena: Yeah.
- ...has declined sharply and exchange rates

- have hit record lows.
- Yeah, money likes quiet, you know?

Right now, there is noise.

Our erstwhile friends
across the Atlantic

are responsible for that noise.

But once they settle down,
the markets will too.

- Yes, but... - Yeah, this is
no longer a conversation.

Let me finish.

Friends...

there are times when one
must choose the hardest road.

I have chosen that road,

and I have done so
in the name of liberty.

- Journalist 3: Chancellor? Chancellor?
- Elena: Thank you.

(tense, plucky music playing)

Ooh, (chuckles)
what have we here?

I present you a cornerstone

of the Monastery
of the Holy Trinity.

It's the ancient spiritual home

of our brothers
in the Faban lands.

- Ah... - Simple peasants once
fought to get this relic back

from the land that it leaves.

Like in our dream, Elena.

Well, that's...
that's lovely.

Thank you.

Elena, as soon as we can,
we should start on the rest.

Elena:
The rest?

Yes, of our dream, land reform.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.

No, we must give land reform
the best chance of success.

(deep breath) When?

When the Faban
turbulence is behind us.

Our budget has shifted now,

and significant aid
will need to be sent

to the Faban Corridor.

And the rest of our funds,

we ought to set aside,

in case of any repercussions.

So, when will
our dream come true?

This is our dream.

The remainder of which
we'll budget for next year.

- Or the year after.
- Year after?

We can't afford
to be careless, Herbert.

Land reform is
simply too important.

(light, tense music playing)

(heavy breathing)

(knocks on door)

Bloody hell.

What the fuck do you want?

Agnes: I've been
instructed to bring you this.

- What is it? - These are
the clothes she wants you to wear

for the banquet tonight.

Hm!

Isn't that lovely for
the Faban victory party.

I'm not wearing
this nutcracker shit.

- She requested that you do, Corporal.
- Stop calling me that.

Do you want me to help you?

(Herbert sighs)

(groaning)

(Herbert winces)

It's alright.
I've got some spare

undershirts in there for you.

Why are you being
nice to me? It's stupid.

(sighs) Well, I'm just
doin' me job, my stupid job.

(Herbert breathes
heavily, groans)

Hail the conquering hero.

Sure.

You're smiling.

The entire Western world
is about to pig fuck us

with sanctions
and you're smiling.

Now, look,
I say you're stressed,

but you must admit, our plan to
sideline the Corporal has worked.

The plan, sir, was to get
back to business as usual.

This is emphatically
not business as usual.

I suppose my head
knows that's true,

yet I must confess, my
heart feels oddly tickled.

I think you'll find the imminent
demise of our economy

slightly outweighs the
benefits to your love life, sir.

You don't think we could ride
out those sanctions somehow

with our new plan C?

Oh, yes. China.
A cold, heartless superpower

that's going to sort out
all our problems.

Think happy thoughts, Laskin.

It's time to twist
the night away.

- (elevator dings)
- (clicks tongue)

- (upbeat folk music playing)
- (party chatter)

♪

♪

I love the outfit, Corporal.

Agnes: Just remember,
if you're feeling unwell,

just come and find me, alright?

- Come and find me.
- (applause)

Smile, darling.

(cheering and applause)

♪

What is he doing here?

Cheers, my love.

♪

(guests clapping to music)

(guests cheering)

Good evening!

Good evening,
good evening, good evening,

and welcome, welcome one
and all to the Heroes Banquet!

(cheering)

Tonight, we celebrate
our returning heroes

and our joyous reunification
with our Faban brothers!

(guests cheering)

And so the question is:
Are you ready to party?

(cheering)

I'd keep an eye on that
Bordeaux by the way, Madam.

NATO might snatch that
back by the intermission.

- (drums play rim shot)
- (laughter)

And haven't you all
scrubbed up well?

- Don't ya all look great?
- (cheering)

What do we have down here?

(gasps)
Ooh, it's Emil Bartos,

and he seems to be
chaperoning his granddaughter.

- (laughter) - And-And-And
how old is she, if I may inquire?

She looks like she'd be
just as happy with a, uh,

- ice cream and a pony ride.
- (laughter)

But let's imagine how
poor, dear, old Keplinger

- is feeling right now.
- (guests booing)

- Boo! - Comedian: And you know he's
gonna be watchin' this, folks.

You know he's watching this,

up there in his mansion
in the mountains,

- weeping into his chardonnay.
- (laughter)

Well, Mr. former chancellor,

of course you hate
reunification.

We knew that after
your first two divorces.

(laughter)

(clears throat) But,
my friends, uh, let's consider

for a second what's
happening in this very country,

outside these four walls now.

A pointless, needless,
wasteful, expensive undertaking

that's gonna drag on
for years and years and years.

I'm speaking, of course,

about the national
poetry centers.

- (Elena laughs)
- Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Mr. Vernham's not looking
happy with that one.

- Mr. Vernham's not looking happy.
- Now, that was rather tame.

- Come on. - Comedian: I'm sorry,
Nicholas, if you don't like the material,

maybe you could
write a poem about it.

Madam Chancellor?
Mr. Bartos would like

to discuss the China brief.

- La-Later, later. - Comedian: ...Paging
Dr. Freud. Chancellor's husband.

It's very clear
who wears the trousers...

What the fuck is a China brief?

I imagine it's where
China is discussed briefly.

- (guests cheering) - Comedian: Give us
a cheer if you're Special Forces!

The Air Force!

The Security Service!

(clears throat) Now, Nicholas,
I have a submission for you.

- I don't know if you're still taking submissions...
- Nicholas: Go for it!

- Go!
- ...but my, uh, literary assistant will bring it.

- (cheering)
- Thank you.

Very good, very good.

Comedian: It goes
something like this:

"There once was a man
so astounding

"Whose job was
so very confounding

"He lived at the palace

"And tugged on his phallus

And shouted,
'My granddad's the Foundling!'"

- (Elena laughs)
- (drums play rim shot)

(laughter and applause)

(upbeat, foolish music playing)

♪

(raucous laughter)

♪

(high-pitched ringing)

(guests clapping to music)

(heavy breathing)

(convulsing)

- (choking)
- Oskar! Alright. It's okay.

- Deep breaths. Deep...
- Fuck off.

- I'm trying to help!
- You had your chance to help. Fuck off.

You're alright.
Mum's here. Oh!

It's only a joke.
It's a joke!

(laughing)
All a big joke.

Yeah, a joke.

♪

Don't forget tomorrow,
the bankers, the zoo.

- Hm?
- Yes, yes. (kisses)

- A demain.
- Nicholas: A demain. Bonne nuit.

- (door closes)
- (Elena sighs)

Well, I did enjoy it.

It was patchy.
You know, (sighs)

comedy is like that.

Absolutely no one's good at it.

You look tired.

- Are you tired?
- No.

Bit cranky?

(sighs)
Okay.

(Herbert groans)

- You sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

Well, I'm not sure I
believe you, but... whatever.

- Long night. (chuckles)
- (Herbert snorts)

- What is that? Have you always
done that? - Done what?

- That sniff. You do a sniff now.
- A what?

- Well, you know, a
little... (sniffs) - I do?

You're not aware of it?

No.
(snorts)

- How can you not be aware of it?
- I don't know.

You're not aware
there's something you do

many times a day that
you never used to do?

Herbert: (sighs) I don't
think I do a sniff, no.

But you do. I just
told you that you do.

Does it bother you?

No...
no, doesn't bother me.

May be a bit irritating that you
won't acknowledge that you do it.

- Oh, you find me irritating?
- No, that's not what I said.

(sighs) Well, it's how
you seem with me.

(scoffs) It's how I seem, is it?

When?

Tonight. Now.

Oh. I was... barely
aware of you tonight.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Because I was celebrating
my country and our people.

Must my attention
always be on you?

Why are you meeting with Bartos?

(sighs)

I might not be.

Answer me.

Why are you meeting with Bartos?

Because he's free
to practice business

and his business is of
consequence to my country.

No, this man is of no
consequence to us.

None whatsoever.

- Well, you know, just a check-in.
- Check-in on what?

Stuff.
Few things.

China?

Maybe, perhaps, an option.

- Ah.
- A free trade deal

with the largest nation on Earth

who oppose our enemies.
Is that, is that a crime?

"You may build it
as tall as you like,

but you build it
from our Earth."

Oh, sweet.

That something your mummy
would sing in the beet fields?

(light, tense music playing)

No, Elena...
Look at me.

- It's our dream.
- (sighs) Your dream.

- What?
- Your dream, not mine.

I don't fucking dream.

Oh, God, is that so shocking?

Jesus Christ.
Fucking grow up.

Maybe I occasionally dream,
but I, I don't remember them.

I do.

Yes, you do.

Your dreams come
from the mind of a child.

♪

- Wh...
- You're not enormously bright, are you?

Hm.

- Excuse me?
- (Elena chuckles)

Big baby ox man.

Your father always knew
that you are weak.

Poor baby ox.

You steal money from
poor people, you hide it,

and you turn your soul to shit.

I bet you dream about
fucking me, don't you?

Yes, you do.

You dream about fucking me.

(chuckles) But I don't
dream about fucking you.

♪

Mm. Hm.

♪

I thought you were fun.
You used to be fun.

Hm.
You're boring now.

You don't deny it.

What?

That you dream about fucking me?

You...

(Herbert sighs)

you do not have a graceful mind.

- Keep sputtering, Ox.
- (grunts)

- (music intensifies)
- Don't call me fucking ox!

- (Elena groans)
- I'm not an ox, you hear me?

Look at me.
I'm not a fucking ox!

(struggling)
No, you're a butcher.

(grunting)

(screams)
Fuck!

(groaning)

(clears throat)

(heavy breathing)

(muttering)

(indistinct chatter)

(laughter)

♪

(people screaming)

♪

(yelling)

(muffled yelling)

(deep breath)

♪

(heavy breathing)

- (music softens)
- (birds chirping)

(tray clatters)

Thank you, Agnes.

There is one thing I'd like to
speak with you about, ma'am.

Yes, what is it?

The folk remedies
prescribed by the former

Chief of Health and Safety
have not been working,

and, um, Oskar has been
having seizures again.

What?! Agnes!
Why was I not told?!

Agnes: I'm sorry.

I mean, I wanted to
be honest with you now.

Well... I'm glad
you're honest with me.

Mother to mother.

Eh, yes, of course,
we must resume

Oskar's prior
treatment immediately.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- That means... I can't tell you
how much that means. - But...

co-parenting is about honesty,

and for you to have withheld
information about Oskar's condition,

well, it doesn't make me feel like
we're operating in good faith, Agnes.

Yes, I think...
the best thing for Oskar

would be for him
to stay here with me,

so I can supervise
his treatment.

Because I, I really can't
trust you right now, Agnes.

That's so disappointing.

I'm sure you understand.

Yes, I, um...

- Thank you. That's all.
- I...

(light, tense music playing)

(music intensifies)

♪

♪

(whimsical horror stings)

♪

(music fades out)

(folk music playing)