All language subtitles for The.Hound.Of.The.Baskervilles.1978.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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( Playing intensely )

( Plays loud chord )

( Low breathing )

( Howls )

Monsieur le docteur Watson,

what is keeping monsieur Holmes so long?

Oh, reassurez-vous yourselves, sisters,

your holy relic will be with you momentarily.

But we have been waiting almost one hour.

Mr. Holmes is a very busy man, sister.

( Speaks French )

Monsieur Holmes is an homme très occupè, sister.

But tomorrow is the festival of Saint beryl.

Already, thousands of blind cripples

are flocking to the chapel, hoping to kiss the relic.

Ln the name of all the flocking blind cripples,

I beseech you.

Ahh...

I'll see what I can do, then.

God's truth!

( Violin music playing )

( Knock on door )

Holmes!

Holmes, are you there?

No, Watson, I'm in Budapest!

Oh, sorry, Holmes, I'll forward your mail.

( Music continues )

( Needle scratches )

( Slurps )

I've some very disappointing news for you.

Apparently, Sherlock Holmes is in Budapest.

This is dreadful coffee, Watson. And now he's back!

Good of you to come, Holmes.

You remember these three nuns from Monte Carlo?

Their holy relic was stolen.

The case of the engineer's thumb, was it?

No, no, no! The, uh, the athlete's foot?

No, it was St. beryl's elbow. Oh, elbows, feet, thumbs!

With all these cases, I'll never get any rest!

Now then, uh, ladies.

Monsieur Holmes, who do you think may
have perpetrated this awful crime?

Well, to put it very simply in laymen's terms

easily understandable to nuns,

I believe this to be the work of thieves.

The whole pattern is very reminiscent of past robberies

where I have found thieves to be involved.

The telltale loss of property, the snatching away of substances,

it all points to, uh, thieves.

But how can you find such a person?

Well, I'm using a wonderful new system
not even known to Scotland yard.

I call it "picture fit."

Oh, yes!

That's when you piece together the face of the criminal, isn't it?

Alas, no.

I can only piece together the appearance
of the face of the criminal.

I cannot piece together the actual face.

I wish I could, 'cause once you've captured the criminal face,

the other criminal parts are not hard to find,

the criminal body being situated directly beneath the criminal face,

joined, of course, by the criminal neck.

So, the relic is lost forever.

On the contrary!

You have found it, monsieur Holmes?

Of course. Stolen by one of your congregation.

Cripples, are they not?

Oui, monsieur Holmes. Amazing, Holmes!

It's simple, Watson.

I spotted which cripple it was immediately,

the one loitering around the shrine with
the relic protruding from his waistcoat.

Merci, monsieur,merci.

( Piano playing continues )

( Man humming song )

( Man whistling song )

( Man humming song )

( Man humming loudly )

( Song ends )

( Doorbell rings )

Who on earth can that be?

I'd say it was a middle-aged doctor,

hailing from Dartmoor,

name probably Mortimer.

How did you deduce that, Watson?

That's what he told me when he made
an appointment this morning.

( Ring ) And if I'm not mistaken, that's him again.

Watson, I'm exhausted from all these cases.

Look, I'll see him, but I make no guarantees.

All right, then. All right.

( Cuckoo clock sounds three times )

Right, Dr. Mortimer!

Precisely. Ah, yes.

Oh, no, I've left...

Ah, sorry about that. Come on in!

Thank you. Yes.

Dr. Watson? Yes, indeed, yes.

Go right through.

Uh, Holmes, this is Dr. Mortimer.

Dr. Mortimer, this is Sherlock Holmes.

Please don't get up. I had no intention of doing so.

Watson, fetch this gentleman a chair.
I'd be delighted to do so!

Yes, indeed. Oh, my goodness, yes.

Why don't you take a seat, Dr. Mortimer?

Sit yourself down here. Thank you.

Oh, thank you. Pleasure.

May I tell you how much I've admired you

over the years? Naturally, but please get on with it.

Let me explain first of all that I am the executor

of the Baskerville estate, valued at over a million pounds,

almost all in property, a vast expanse of desolate moor.

I read about Sir Charles' death in the times.

Natural causes, was it not?

That was for the public.

But it is my opinion that Sir Charles was murdered,

murdered by supernatural means.

My dear fellow, we are living in the 20th century.

Aren't we?

Be that as it may, local legend has it

that a monstrous brute, a veritable hound of hell,

has been the death of every single master of Baskerville hall.

A hound?

Dr. Mortimer, just what were the
circumstances of Sir Charles' death?

Well, Sir Charles Baskerville was my patient
for a great number of years,

during which time he was completely sane.

But as the years went by, he became somewhat of a recluse,

rarely leaving his estate, and building a huge fence

round the whole of the property.

He became completely and utterly obsessed with the idea

that the legendary hound of the Baskervilles

was going to return to destroy him.

How extraordinary!

I see nothing unusual in any of this.
My thoughts exactly, Holmes.

Oh, yes. I was called to the house

in my official capacity as coroner

to investigate the extraordinary circumstances

in which Sir Charles' body was found.

Do go on, and spare no detail, however small.

Get it over with! Yes, cut it short!

On his face was frozen a look of such extraordinary terror

that it was almost impossible to recognize him.

There was no sign of physical violence on the body whatsoever.

But close by were footprints,

enormous, unnatural, unworldly footprints.

Let's have it.

Mr. Holmes, they were...

The footprints of a...

Gigantic hound.

Oh, does it have huge, dripping jaws

and great oozing eyes

and enormous private parts?

Enormous! Oh, god!

But how do you know?

I used to have a little pekinese like that.

Lt used to leap up on the bed and bare its fangs, and then,

when I was least expecting it-- calm yourself, Watson.

Seems rather straightforward to me.

Absolutely cut and dried, isn't it?

Will you be able to meet the heir and myself

at the Northumberland hotel at 10:00 tomorrow morning?

What do you think, Holmes? Should we meet the 'eir 'ere--

the heir he--

the heir here, or the heir there?

There, tomorrow at 10:00.

Here, here! There!

There!

May I introduce young Sir Henry Baskerville,

heir of Baskerville hall and 2,000 acres of swamp.

I can't thank you enough, Mr. Holmes,

for coming here this morning.

I mean, what with you being such a wonderful sleuth.

You must help us. A sinister incident occurred last night.

Tell him, Sir Henry.

Well, I went to bed early

because I felt a bit-- no, not me, him.

Yes. Okey-dokey.

I went to bed early last night because I felt
a bit under the weather.

Touch of dicky tummy, you know.

Runs in the family.

Yes, well, anyway,

I put my boots out to be shined,
and when I got up in the morning,

I opened the door, and would you believe it?

One of them was missing.

Do you think I'm gonna waste my time combing
the streets of London

for some old boot?

This is a job for an imbecile.

Quite right, Holmes! Let me deal with this.

Sir Henry, uh...

The boot you allege was stolen, what color was it?

Brown. Yes, brown.

Oh, brown, was it? Yes.

Exactly the same color as this boot,

the one we have in front of us?

Of course! I always try to get two the same color.

It's too much of a coincidence, Holmes.

I don't like the smell of this. Exactly!

What better way to entice a hound than to
give it some personal object

from which it can derive the scent of the intended victim?

Yes, Sir Henry is in great danger.

I'm sorry, I'm not available to take this case.

Dr. Watson will handle the matter.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, I've never done anything on my own before!

I think you have, Watson.

Are you sure you won't change your mind?

I'm sorry, Dr. Mortimer, I'm very tired.

I've had a lot of cases.

Being the world's greatest detective is no bed of roses.

I leave you in good hands.

Good day, gentlemen. I'll find my own way out.

Yes, he probably will.

Yes.

This is a bitter disappointment to me.

Well, now, let's get down to business.

Uh...

There are one or two things that have
been bothering me about this case.

Uh...

Ohh.

Firstly, uh, this stick which you have here.

Dr. Mortimer, I see by this hair that you are a dog fancier.

Spaniel? Retriever? Labrador?

Hound, perhaps? No, it's a special sort of dog

bred by a friend of mine on the moors.

It's Mexican. They call it a chihuahua.

The hairs get everywhere.

The chihuahua is a hairless beast, Dr. Mortimer.

Not on the moors, Dr. Watson.

Naturally, Dr. Chihuahua--Mortimer.

Watson: Ahh!

Where and at what time does the train leave for Baskerville?

Tomorrow, 12:00, Victoria.

On, no, you can call me John.

We will recognize each other by wearing pink carnations

in our lapels. Oh, I like pink.

Yes, I do, too.

Are you Dr. Mortimer?

Dr. Watson, of course I'm Dr. Mortimer.

You know perfectly well I'm Dr. Mortimer!

Well, where's your carnation?

Sir Henry wouldn't give me one. He said it would spoil his bouquet.

Yoo-hoo, Watty! I'm in here.

Oh, good god.

I saved you a seat by the window.

Good thinking, Sir Henry.

( Train whistle blows )

Mind the door.

Oh!

Apart from yourself, Dr. Mortimer,

who are our neighbors at Baskerville hall?

There's this chap Stapleton--he's the
chap with the chihuahuas--

and his sister.

A strange couple.

Then there's Frankland,

the man who is obsessed with catching the hound,

and his mistress.

A strange couple.

Then there's Mr. and Mrs. Barrymore,

who've been at the hall for generations.

A strange couple.

Then there's Marcia the scullery maid,

and Perkins the groom.

A strange couple.

What on earth made you think that?
They're a charming pair!

Um...

Just a hunch.

I'm really exhausted with all this traveling.

Oh? Didn't you enjoy your sea voyage from Canada?

Oh, no, it was terrible!

I happened to be out for a stroll on the deck

when a storm came up.

Gale winds forced me to hang on to the rail for dear life

until I could hold on no longer!

Bad show.

Suddenly, this great wave came crashing over the boat

and washed me overboard.

How ghastly!

Lt was all I could do to keep my head above water.

Lt was horrible, horrible!

Did you manage to drag yourself up on deck?

Oh, no, I just dressed casual.

( Whistle blows )

We seem to be taking a devil of a time to get to the hall.

Yes, I thought I'd take the pretty way, sir.

( Loud howling )

It's the hound!

Stop there a while.

Whoa, now. Stop down, sir.

Steady, whoa.

Aah! Ow! Ow!

And me only married a month.

Good job I was wearing the appliance.

Ahh.

Ah! Aha!

Dr. Mortringer. Yes?

We're still searching for Selden, the vicious ax murderer.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes!

I remember.

He's the man who escaped just before
Sir Charles was found dead.

That awful man that went around hacking people to pieces

and sending the bits to his M.P.?

That's the one, sir. And you'd better watch out.

'Cause they've seen quite a bit of him around
Baskerville hall recently.

And you'd better tell your friends there

they'd better be careful.

Drive on, Perkins. Drive on, Perkins.

Drive on, Perkins. Drive on, Perkins.

Drive on, Perkins. Drive on, Perkins.

Good-bye, dears. Catch that fiend!

Strange couple.

Woman: Oh, oh, don't!

Oh, what are you stopping for?!

Go on! Yes!

The Barrymores have been practically
bedridden since Sir Charles died.

Man: For heaven's sake, woman!

Very difficult to arouse elderly people.

Yes, I've tried everything.

Thank god you arrived!

I thought you'd never get here.

Mr. Barrymore, I want to introduce the new heir,

Sir Henry Baskerville, and his friend Dr. Watson.

They're here until Saturday for the reading of the will.

Dr. Mortimer, who the devil do you think you are,

getting me knocked up this time of day?

Hubby and me was fast asleep.
I want you to show Sir Henry

and his little detective friend the usual
Baskerville hospitality.

Mr. Barrymore will relieve you of your clobber.

Yes.

Uh, Mrs. Barrymore?

I would like to get started right away.

Um, perhaps you would be so kind as to show me...

Um...

Show me to my... my, uh...

My clues. Your what?

My clues.

Oh,clues!

Well, let me see. What can I show you?

This, of course, is Baskerville hall.

Ls that a clue for you?

Baskerville hall! Yes! Yes, it is!

Yes, indeed, but, uh...

Forgive me, this is just the hall

of Baskerville hall, isn't it?

Oh, yes. Everything points to that.

Yes, that's right. Mrs. Barrymore?

Will you get us something to eat?
We're absolutely famished.

My stomach's chattering away!

I don't know, really. Some people!

Yes. Oh, Mr. Barrymore.

What have you got there, Arthur?

Cheese, Ada. Oh, cheese, my word!

We are bein' indulged tonight, aren't we?

That's a bit better than coq au vin.

And cold tea.

This'll have your circulation whizzin' in no time.

Shall we adjourn to the dining room, Sir Henry?

Yes, I want to see the dining room and
the ballroom, everything.

To think all this is going to be mine!

Oh, you don't wanna see the dinin' room, darlin'.

I'm not havin' you trekkin' all that food over the house.

I'm tellin' you that for nothing.

I'm not wastin' my time cleanin' up after the two of you

this time of night.

Come on! Eat up.

There's good boys.

There you are. Good god!

I could've put you in the master bedroom, of course.

But you'd have been overawed, wouldn't you?

You would, I know your type.

You like to live casual, you detectives.

I'm not a detective.

Of course you're not, darlin'. Whoever said you was?

Now, come on, you boys.

I want to explain the rules of the house to you.

Are you listening? Yes, oh, yes.

My husband and I, we like to get to bed

about 5:00 of an afternoon.

We're not gettin' any younger.

At least, art is gettin' on a bit.

Or rather he's not gettin' on as much as I'd like him to,

if you catch my drift.

Anyway, we like to get up at about 2:00 of an afternoon,

but then we have our own affairs to attend to.

Yes, quite. But from 4:00

to 4:15, all yours.

Anything your heart desires, you have only to ask.

And you know how to get hold of us if
you want anything, don't you?

No. No. Good.

That's wonderful.

Sleep tight.

I love your Jim-jams, Watty.

Very smart.

Thanks very much, Sir Henry.

I think we ought to get some sleep

because we've got a very hard day tomorrow.

If you want anything in the night, just whistle.

I've got ears like a hawk.

Yes, I'm a very light sleeper.

Yes, me, too.

Good god!

Excuse me, is this the, uh,

Piccadilly health and relaxation spade Paris?

That's right.

I wonder if it would be possible for me to have a, uh,

a massage?

By all means.

Here's a list of our services.

Thank you.

Yes.

What do I get for the gentleman's half-hour
lunchtime refresher?

Well, for five shillings, you get a basic rubdown

with flour and water.

But most of our clients find the Caesar special

rather more stimulating.

It's slightly more expensive. That's ten shillings.

Sunken bath, toga-clad masseuse,

and, of course, a complimentary grape.

It's an odd way to spell "grape," with an "o."

( Laughs )

Do I get a choice of...

Ladies? Naturally.

A vast selection of delectable damsels

awaits you behind the beaded curtains.

One Guinea, please.

Good evening, uh, ladies.

I have a ticket for the bacchanal boudoir.

( Laughs )

Wake up, Watty, wake up!

Aah!

I was just looking out of the window.

I think someone's signaling.

Mr. Barrymore?

I see you are flashing.

The winds may squall across the hall,

we flash our light throughout the night.

I saw someone else signaling across the moors.

It's moors code.

I've heard of that.

I think you gentlemen had better go to your room.

It's way past your bedtime. No, no, no, Mr. Barrymore.

I've got some investigations to do outside to see who is--

good night, gentlemen.

Well, now, that's, uh...

You put it that way, that's, uh, different.

Good night! Yes, indeed.

Call that flashing?

I could you show you a flashing would
make your hair curl.

First time here? Yes, it is.

What's your name?

Uh, Watson, John Watson.

What do you do, dear? I'm a doctor.

My boyfriend always wanted to be a doctor.

He's working down at the docks.

Here, have you got any contacts?

You know, somebody who might give him a few breaks?

Not really, no.

He don't wanna do no operations or nothing like that.

He's quite willing to start diagnosin'.

You know, for a start.

He's ever so clever.

Only the other day, he said I had a cold.

Come on, turn over.

( Sneezes )

( Sneezes )

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

You call this a bacchanal boudoir?!

More my idea of a medieval torture chamber!

Who do you practice on, elephants?

Hold it! I know that face!

Here, patsy, Nell!

Who do you think's been havin' a go with old Siv?

Bloody Sherlock Holmes!

You're right, Siv, it's him!

You have put on a bit of weight, haven't you?

Yes, look at it!

Here, you don't look much like your drawings, do you?

Well, you three ladies are not exactly what I'd expected!

Service is not included!

So I noticed!

( Low breathing )

( Groans )

What are you doing here, Sir Henry? I was so scared!

Can't you hear all those awful noises
coming from downstairs?

It's been going on like that for the last three hours!

Why didn't you wake me sooner?

♪...flowing bowl, until it flows right over ♪

♪ come, landlord, fill the flowing bowl ♪

♪ until it runs right over ♪

♪ for tonight we'll merry, merry be ♪

♪ for tonight we'll merry, merry be ♪

♪ for tonight we'll merry, merry be ♪

♪ tomorrow we'll be sober ♪

I told you to stop that. I'm warnin' you!

Only having a bit of fun, Ada. Hello, hello, hello.

What's going on here in my dining room?

We're having a little family get-together, that's what.

Mr. Barrymore's sister Ethel popped over.

Say hello, Ethel.

Come, landlord, fill the flowing bowl,
till the cup runs over!

Now, dear, no! It's gettin' him all excited.

It's always the same, it's the meat.

Here. Here's a grape.

Anyway, I don't seem to remember

inviting you, Dr. Watson,

nor you, sir H.

Excuse us.

Pardon us for living, Mrs. Barrymore.

I don't need a house of bricks to fall on me.

How mean!

All that food. Yes, I know!

Did you notice that woman with the loud voice

and enormous weapon?

Yes, of course.

Do you think she's Selden, the ax murderer?

Oh, no, no, no.

Sir Henry, surely you saw the amazing resemblance

between her and Mr. Barrymore.

Same eyes, same nose, same mustache.

That's his sister, all right. Oh, yes!

Oh, yes, indeed. How silly of me.

You see, I'm a detective, I'm trained in that area.

I hope it's a nice day tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to seeing my moors.

It'll be lovely. Yes, seeing your moors.

Oviatt?

Mrs. Tindale?

Mrs. Gray?

I don't think the spirits will be too pleased with that.

Thank you.

Hands on table, fingers touching.

( Gasps )

Oh...

Are you there?

Are you there, Mr. Taramasalata?

Speak, whoever you are!

Have you no word of comfort

from Mr. Oviatt, my beloved husband?

He's enjoying his tennis

and says to keep using the mouthwash.

Be guided by the spirits, Mrs. Oviatt.

I will. Oh, yes, I will!

Are there any other astrals in the room?

Raise up, o table!

Make your presence felt.

They're really here.

They're really here!

Raise up, o table!

Raise up, o table!

Come down, o spirits.

Even unto this dark and joyless basement.

Raise up, o table. Stop that, Iris!

Table?!

Raise up, o table!

This table doesn't hear too well.

Excuse me while I deal with this malignant spirit.

Don't leave this room except by the door.

Sherl!

You, my son, a common thief! I was just passing by,

I thought I'd drop in my laundry and get a bite to eat.

I thought you'd be asleep. Asleep?!

I haven't slept for 18 years, ever since
your beloved father died.

Don't bring up father, mother. Oh, why not?

Why not? You drove him to his death.

My god, all that snooping into other people's business!

Detecting, detecting, detecting!

Pesticide! My own son guilty of pesticide!

It's "patricide," mother. Oh, so you admit it, do you?

You never change.

No, you treated him as badly as you treat poor Watty!

Watson is perfectly all right.

"Perfectly all right" indeed!

Oh, I'm sure, yes.

No, don't tell me.

You and Watty have had a quarrel and
he's walked out on you.

Frankly, I don't blame him.

Now you've got nobody to cook for you,
to do your laundry,

so you come snooping round here to steal
a lonely old woman's pork pie.

My god! And Mrs. Mott tells me that you went

to that disgusting brothel down the road.

A woman twice my age fingering and fumbling my boy!

I think it's disgusting! Disgusting!

Where's Watty, what's happened to him?

Mother-- no, don't tell me.

Oh, my god, I see it clearly.

A volcano, palm trees,

a desert island.

I wish you'd give up this psychic hoax.

Lt could land us both in trouble.
I don't have to answer that.

Or maybe I'm under arrest for your crimes.

Could I please have something to eat?

You can have anything you like from me, my diamond.

Iris and I are here to help you. Remember Iris?

She's my link with the spirit world.

Oh, yes!

( Laughing )

Stop it, Iris. Mother!

I like to strike a happy medium.

I know my business, thank you, sherl.

By the way, don't mention death in front of Iris.

Would you like to make my little boy a cup of tea, Iris?

Oh, yes.

Yes, stupid cow.

Now, then, sherl-- mother, please don't call me "sherl."

I've always called you sherl, and I always will.

You should have seen him when he was a little girl.

I never was a little girl, mother.

Lovely little golden curls, impish sense of fun.

I used to put you in the loveliest dresses.

You were the prettiest girl on the block.

Has it all gone now?

Has it all gone?!

Anyway, let me bring you up to date

on all the wonderful things that have been happening here.

I wrote to you about my stroke, didn't I?

Yes, mother. Yes.

Let's get you out of these clothes, they're very smelly.

Come on, change of clothes. I want something to eat.

Yes. I think it was a combination of things, you know.

My brother came round, my brother Bernard.

He was drunk as a lord.

He was so rude to me, I said, "Bernard," I said,

"don't be so rude."

I said, "don't be so damn rude to me."

I was so upset. Well, I went out to the shops.

Went out to the shops to get some fish for sparky.

I always walk there and back, you know.

And on the way back, I met Mrs. Pratt.

She said to me, "Mrs. Holmes,"

she said, "I hear you've been talking about my Joyce again."

I said, "what do you mean?

What do you mean, your Joyce?"

She said, "about her having a baby

and not being married."

I said, "Mrs. Pratt,"

I said, "excuse me," I said, "I don't talk about your child."

I said, "I've got better things to do with my time."

I was so upset! I came home, I went straight to bed.

And then, daddy came to me at the bottom of the bed.

He said to me, "come, Ada.

Come," he said, "you're tired. Come with me.

Enough's enough." I said, "no, my darling."

I said, "no. I've got to wait here, on this earth...

Until my son, my little baby, is happily married."

Anyway, I woke up in the morning, didn't I?

I woke up in the morning, and thought I had neuralgia

because the window was open,

there was Avery chilly wind coming through.

And the doctor came to me and said I'd had a stroke,

'cause my face was all lopsided, it was like that.

Of course, it's all gone down now.

Iris found me. I was four hours face down in the toilet!

Anyway, enough of that.

What about Watty, eh?

I expect you've made him one of your irregulars.

Mother, please don't interfere in my business!

Hey, hey, don't you tell me.

Don't you tell me when to interfere and when not to.

I'm your mother. I'll interfere when I bloody well want.

And Watty! You know he can't handle
an assignment on his own.

Mother, if he's in any danger,

I'll hire another irregular or runner,
or I'll go down to the moors myself.

Yes, I hope so.

Because, if not, I'll go down there myself.

You understand? I'll go down there myself!

All will be well. Oh, sure, you'll never regret this.

You'll never regret it! He's a nice boy.

Don't interrupt, Iris.

( Mumbling )

( Coughs )

What a terrible morning!

All this awful fog.

Watty! Watty, where are you?

Watty! Wakey-wakey, watty.

Morning, Sir Henry.

( Coughs )

Looks like a really damp, humid day today.

Yes, I know. My hair will be a mess.

You stay here and I'll go to the telegraph office

and cable Holmes about Barrymore's sister.

I'd love to go with you, I really would.

I told you, we can't risk that.

You stay here and get on with your knitting.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Morning, Mr. Barrymore.

Lovely day, isn't it?

I've never seen fog this bad in all my life.

Lt must be absolutely awful outside.

I won't be able to investigate anything.

No, it's as clear as a bell outside.

What do you mean?

You know what they say,

"fog on the moors, clear skies indoors.

Fog in the house, sun's out for field mouse."

I've never heard that before. Nor have I.

See for yourself.

Oh, it is a lovely morning!

You'll be able to look for your clues after all.

Oh, yes! Beautiful, isn't it?

Ahem, Barrymore,

perhaps you would be able to show me the exact place

where Sir Charles died.

Yes, I remember the night clearly.

My wife would not allow Sir Charles to
use his indoor bathroom,

so he staggered out to this one here.

I see.

This is Mrs. Starborgling, our sitting tenant.

Been squatting there for years.

Oh, you mean that my poor, dear, sweet uncle,

Sir Charles, lost his life trying to reach

this dreadful toilet?

Yes. This is the very spot.

Oh, how awful!

Hello, hello!

What've we got here then, eh?

Good god!

If I'm not mistaken,

these are the prints of a gigantic hound!

What do you say, Barrymore?

I never poke my nose into other people's business.

Be that as it may, I have to talk to the neighbors.

Where do the Stapletons live?

They're over in Merripit hall on the moors.

But it's very dangerous out there.

You might get sucked up by Grimpen mire.

Very unpleasant.

Nevertheless, I have a job of work to do, Mr. Barrymore.

Sir Henry, I want you to stay in your room

and not venture out on the moor.

You see how close the hound came

to get at Sir Charles. I won't leave my room.

Investigations...

Investigations...

( Man speaking unintelligibly )

( Bell dings )

Good morning, sir. What can I do for you?

Uh...

Do you work here? Yes, sir.

Would you mind keeping your voice down?

I have a rather confidential message

I wish to telegraph to London.

Thank you.

"Del-fear hol-folmes, stol-fop.

Stal-farted investal-figations, stol-fop."

Right. That seems simple enough, sir.

"Dear Holmes, stop. Started investigations, stop.

Stopped investigations for today, stop.
Working nonstop, stop."

Good god, man, you've broken the code!

We don't use this one anymore, it's a bit out of date.

Oh, I-- now,

if you want a really undecipherable code,

you wanna have a word with my Glynis.

Glynis!

Gentleman here needs a code! Oh, just a--

confidential, top secret!

She'll be right here, sir.

Bad night, madam. Pardon?

She's illustrating the code, sir.
She's always talked like that.

I don't understand.

It's the code of opposites, sir.

Everything she say is the reverse of what she means.

"Good morning, sir" is-- "bad night, madam."

That's it. You give this a whirl, glynis.

Not on your life. That's a good girl.

"Dear Holmes, stop."

"Horrid Holmes, start.

"Stopped investigations, start.

"Re-stopping investigations yesterday, start.

Not working not nonstop, start."

I got a much better one. No one's ever cracked it.

Oh, yeah, Mrs. Grainger, she's got a beauty.

You show this gentleman your sausage and mash, Daphne.

I rather liked the last one. No, you wait till you hear this.

Every word that begin with an "s" or an "m,"

she substitutes "sausage" or "mash."

Go on, Daphne, give it to him!

"Dear Holmes, sausage.

"Sausaged investigation, sausage.

Sausage investigation--" oh, wait a moment!

There's something I've got to add at the end.

How would this go?

"Barrymore has a very peculiar sister."

"Barrymore alfa salfa belfry pelficulia silfistra."

"Barrymore has a very normal brother."

"Barrymore has a very peculiar sausage."

I'm getting a bit confused. Don't you worry, sir.

I'll combine all three codes and send it in Latin.

Hello, Dr. Watson.

Dr. Mortimer?

How go the investigations?

Oh, uh...

Slowly, um, but surely, thank you, yes.

By the way, I wonder if you could help me with something?

Certainly, what?

I don't suppose it means anything,
but as I was crossing the moor,

a chap threw an entire side of beef at me.

Ls that a local custom?

Oh, no, no, that was Frankland.

He's out on the moors every single day throwing
out meat as bait for the hound.

He's obsessed by the brute.

Do you think I ought to have a word with him?

Yes, I would.

I have my own suspicions, ever since he expressed

an enormous grudge against Sir Charles.

Oh, really?

What was that about?

Never found out, but perhaps you
could unearth something, eh?

Yes. He lives out by Grimpen mire.

Oh, it's beginning to smell.

Beautiful piece of sirloin steak, what a lovely cut.

I've only had a cheese sandwich since I got here.

Chunk of chop, marvelous.

What a beautiful piece of rump.

Must come from an animal the size of a cathedral.

Perhaps Sir Henry and I can have a secret feast tonight.

Oh, best end of lamb, it's in, miss.

What a piece of luck to fall on this.

Gotcha!

Aah!

( Screaming )

Who the hell are you? How dare you touch my meat!

Aren't you Mr. Frankland, the expert on
the hound of the Baskervilles?

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Aren't you that midget detective that's
come down from London?

Yes, the very same.

( Laughs )

Well, you better step inside.

Aah!

( Laughing )

You have so many trophies, Mr. Frankland.

( Laughing )

I enjoy the excitement of the hunt.

Have you ever killed an elephant?

I don't remember.

There's nothing like the thrill of a kill!

Well, I've heard of your reputation with the hound.

Yes!

( Laughs )

I've been after him for years.

I've been living in this swamp with all the fog and the filth

like a dog!

But I'll get him in the end. Oh, yeah.

You see, it takes an animal

to find an animal, don't it? Oh, yes, indeed.

Have you seen him? No!

But some of my best friends have.

Ooh...

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

I can hear their screams in my ears even now.

What happened?

Huh!

Seventy-eight of my nearest friends

devoured in one night.

Are you sure it was a hound?

Huh! Huh!

Were it a monster would devour his victims

and go "woof woof"?

Of course, quite so, yes.

( Laughs )

Yes, did--

did you know the late Sir Charles?

That gutless bastard!

Aah!

You didn't like Sir Charles, then?

Like him? I hated him.

He tried to seduce my little Mary.

My poor, helpless little Mary.

I caught another one, my dear.

Set it down there.

Mary, this is Dr. Watson.

( Bones crack )

My pleasure.

Nice to meet you. Your husband was--

( laughing )

What, what, what?!

Lover.

Oh! Oh, god.

Um, your lover was telling me how--

how his friends were massacred by the hound.

It's quite true, isn't it?

I thought I'd dreamt it all

or that I was insane or drunk.

But me drunk?!

You seem to be Avery rational man.

Yes, I am rational!

I'll sniff him out all over the ground

and find him in his lair and whenever we shall meet, I'll--

I'll strangle him, like this!

Just like this!

I'll go, then. I think I'll be off now, you see.

Yes, I hope you catch it!

( Doorbell rings )

Come in!

Good day. Good day.

Very good of you to come along. Not at all.

You saw the advertisement. Yes, I certainly did.

Mr. Spiggott, is it not? Yes, Spiggott's the name.

Detection's the game.

I see.

Spiggott is the name and detection is the game.

( Yells )

You're it!

Mr. Spiggott, we're not here to play tag.

I thought you might have enjoyed a game.

Not in the least. If you'd just settle down
for one moment, please.

All right, all right. No need to be like that.

Mr. Spiggott,

you are applying, are you not, for the job on the moors

as a runner? Right.

Mr. Spiggott, I, uh...

I couldn't help noticing, almost immediately--

what? That you are a one-legged man.

Oh, you noticed that?

When you've been in the business as long as I have,

you get to notice these little things

almost instinctively.

Well, you're bound to, ain't ya, really?

Now, Mr. Spiggott, you, a one-legged man,

are applying for the job

of a runner. Yes, right.

A job traditionally associated

with a two-legged man.

That's right, yeah.

And yet you, a Unidexter,

are applying for the job. That's right, yeah.

A job for which two legs would seem to be

the minimum requirement.

Well, Mr. Spiggott, need I point out to you

with overmuch emphasis

where your deficiency lies

as regards landing the job?

Yes, I think you ought to. Yes, perhaps I ought.

Need I say with too much stress

that it is in the leg division

that you are deficient?

The leg division? The leg division, Mr. Spiggott.

You are deficient in the leg division

to the tune of one.

Your right leg, I like.

Ohh.

It's a lovely leg for the job.

As soon as I saw it come in, I said, "hello!

What a lovely leg for the job!"

I've got nothing against your right leg.

The trouble is...

Neither have you.

You fall down on the left.

Oh, uh...

You mean it's inadequate? It's inadequate, Mr. Spiggott.

Sod it. And in my view,

the sight of a one-legged runner

hopping across the moors

might draw unwanted attention.

Ohh!

But don't despair, Mr. Spiggott, I mean, after all,

you score over a man with no legs at all

by 100%!

Oh, yeah. Well, I've got twice as many, haven't I?

Exactly! Yeah.

So, there's still hope?

Of course there is still hope.

I mean, if I get no two-legged runners

in here within, say, the next 18 months,

there is every chance that you, a Unidexter,

will be the very type of person

I shall be attempting to contact

vis-à-vis the job. Oh, marvelous!

I'm just sorry I can't be more definite at this stage.

But you must understand that the detection industry

is a very precise one,

and I can’t afford to take any risks whatsoever.

Thank you, good-bye!

Thank you, Mr. Spiggott.

Oh, one thing, Mr. Spiggott!

What?

Good luck.

Excuse me.

( Grunts )

Ohh!

( Barking )

Aah!

Oh, good god, what a scare! I thought
you were the hound!

( Barking ) Shut up!

Shut up! Be quiet! Ease back--

what on earth do you think you're doing to my dog?!

You'll pay for this, you and your kind!

I was just walking across the moors
from Baskerville hall, and--

Baskerville hall?

Oh, you must be Sir Henry.

We've all been waiting to meet you.

You can't imagine how pleased we are that you've, uh,

you've finally arrived.

Oh. ( Laughs )

Um...

And you are, your name is...? Yes, yes.

What? Your name?

Oh, Stapleton. Oh, Mr. Stapleton,

I was just on my way to see you

about this mysterious hound that is supposed to have caused

Sir Charles' death. Supposed to?

We on the moors know it could only
have been the dreadful hound

that lives to wreak vengeance on the
cursed Baskerville family.

You shouldn't be out here, you're not safe!

The hound wants you, just like the rest.

Well, so far, I seem to have been in more danger from your dog.

My doggies wouldn't harm a fly.

You're just the same as your uncle. How do you mean?

Come, come, you must know how your
uncle despised my chihuahuas.

He accused them of fouling up the moors,

he put up fences to stop me taking them onto his property.

My little darlings, my angels.

They've as much right to the moors as any Baskerville!

Quite so, quite so. And you won't stop us, either!

No, no, of course not, no.

Did you see how sweet my baby is?

Look at him.

Oh, he just wants to make friends.

He just wants to sit in your pocket and be your friend.

Don't stick him in my pocket. Look at that. Just look at that!

Oh!

See how he loves you now? Oh, yeah.

My little darling. You got him excited, you monster!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset him!

Give me my baby! All right.

You don't understand him, he just wants to be friendly.

Yeah, well, thanks very much.

Look...

No, thanks very much.

You'll have to meet my sister and have a cup of tea.

Yes, well, I'd be very interested in making her acquaintance.

She can't wait to meet you. We live just over there.

You couldn't put--

you couldn't put your dog down, could you?

Good heavens! And run the risk of him
falling into the swamps?

Doesn't take long for a little dog like this to go under.

Oh, quite, I'm sorry. Don’t apologize, it's so feeble!

I'm sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to say "sorry."

By god...

Shh.

I hope I'm not imposing on you, but I must say

I would appreciate a cup of tea. I'm absolutely parched.

Welcome to Merripit hall, Sir Henry.

( Loud growl )

That's my sister. She's a little under the weather.

Ah, nothing serious, I trust?

Just a little something she picked up on the moor.

I hope she gets better soon.

You know how women tend to exaggerate.

Yes. Beryl, poor dear,

claims that on the night Sir Charles died,

that she encountered the hound of the Baskervilles...

Since when she's been confined to her bed.

Does daddy's little darling want a little drinky, then?

Ohh.

Do come in.

Forgive the personal question, miss stapleton, but, um,

why are you confined to bed? Doctor's orders, I'm afraid.

I've been a little rundown recently.

There we are.

I hope it's not too strong.

No, no, it's very nice, isn't it?

Um, you brother informs me that you actually have seen

this legendary hound.

Ls this true? True?

Are you another to doubt my word, another to call me mad?

I tell you, I saw this hound

as clearly as I see you now.

I'm over here, miss stapleton.

More tea?

Well, actually, I've got enough--

no, no, no! Thank you, miss stapleton, thank you!

Thank you, that's enough tea.

I was out on the moor the very night your uncle died.

I felt this strange urge,

this need to wander over the Baskerville estate

and think out the meaning of my life,

such as it was,

such as it could be.

Yes, I know the feeling very well, yes.

Oh, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the night.

The moon was full, there was a gentle breeze.

When suddenly,

my peace was shattered by an unearthly wail!

A wail on the moors? Yes.

A howl so terrifying that I thought

the very devil himself was loose,

for out of the swirling mist leapt a huge, hideous creature,

a hound, with fangs dripping and glowing,

one eye red and one eye green,

flames leaping from its nostrils!

Did you notice anything unusual about it?

No, it was on me in a flash.

I swooned...

As it kept doing things to me,

on and on through the night,

never to be satisfied.

I thought it would never stop.

Lt was insatiable. How horrible!

Spare yourself any further pain, miss stapleton.

Really, I quite understand. Oh, I knew you would.

I felt it the moment I saw you.

You're someone I can trust,

someone who will protect me!

You must stay and look after me forever!

I'd love to do that, but I oughta be going.

I need you, I need you! Now, ease back a bit,

miss stapleton, control yourself!

( Growling )

Oh! Oh!

( Laughter )

I don't wanna see that!

Love me.

Love me!

Love me!

Oh, god!

Oh, no!

You're just askin' for it!

Aah!

Aah!

Dr. Watson! What on earth are you doing with my patient?!

You mean you're not Sir Henry?
Not in so many words, no.

How dare you take advantage of me like this?

Dr. Watson, I think you had better leave.

I'll let myself out. Allow me.

Aah!

♪ I never knock at the wrong street door ♪

♪ when I come home at night ♪

♪ my number's 23, that doesn't worry me ♪

♪ I always know my house all right ♪

♪ I-- ♪

Hello, watty.

My goodness, you look all tuckered out.

You must have had a good day. Yes, not bad, thank you!

How about yourself?

I did exactly as you told me. I stayed here all the time.

I've been as good as gold. That's very wise.

We can't be too careful.

By the way, Barrymore told me his wife
had put some food up here for us.

I'm afraid the only thing she left here
all day was a little cold lamb.

That's wonderful, I'm famished.

Where is it? Over there.

( Bleats )

Good god!

Good morning, Dr. Watson.

Would you like one of our auction announcements?

What auction?

The contents and furniture of Baskerville hall,

formerly the possessions of the late Sir Charles.

That's very odd!

The will hasn't even been read yet.

Good god!

I must get hold of Sherlock Holmes immediately about this.

Isn't there a telephone in this godforsaken town?

Sure there is, sir, down at the post office.

Holmes, it's Watson here.

Listen, it's very urgent you come down
immediately on the next train

to Baskerville, 12 noon train.

You'll be in disguise?

How am I gonna recognize you, then?

Can't you wear a pink carnation?!

All right, ladies and gentlemen, gather round, if you please.

This auction is about to commence.

Where have you been? The Barrymores
are selling everything.

You must do something! Don't worry, Sir Henry.

I'll attend to this.

Um...

Uh...uh...

Ah! Dr. Mortimer? Dr. Mortimer, please.

Ah, Dr. Watson.

Nice to see you again. Yes, but I'm very puzzled.

I mean, why this sale?

Surely the contents of Baskerville hall

are a legitimate part of Sir Henry's inheritance.

I'm afraid not.

Sir Charles wanted the Barrymores to have
the contents of the hall

in lieu of the wages that he owed them.

How very strange. Yes.

I think it's very unfair!

Only an animal could live in a house without furniture.

I mean, there'll be no place to sit down or sleep!

But Mrs. Barrymore says you're frightfully comfy

up there in the loft. Oh, yes!

One more day in that cesspool, I'll be dead of pneumonia.

Even the mice have webbed feet. Yes.

Whoa!

Which one is Sir Henry?

That one. Who?

The tall, funny-looking one.

He's a stranger. That must be him.

Where? I can't see him.

Oh, he's the one picking his nose.

Which one?

The one picking his nose and wiping it on his beard.

Ah, the tall one. That must be him.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to
the next Baskerville victim.

The late Sir Lou,

a portrait of the very highest grade.

Get on with it, Arthur, I want my tea, I'm ravishin'.

What am I bid now for this very unique item?

Might you be someone to whom I might entrust

a message concerning the safety of Sir Henry Baskerville?

I might.

I knew it was you.

I've got to talk.

I know about this hound and your family.

You're not going to escape the curse, you can't.

Unless I can talk to you tonight.

Madam, who on earth are you?

I'm beryl stapleton, I live on the moor.

I'll be expecting you.

Ls there any further bid you don't want to make, glynis?

I wouldn't give you nine shillings for that bit of rubbish.

Sold for nine to glynis.

Can't you stop the auction and save my possessions?

I can't, Sir Henry, unless I find Holmes.

Holmes, here? I must have a word with him.

He's here in disguise, and nobody must know.

Where is he, which one is it? I must know.

Sir Henry, all right, I'll find him.

Holmes!

Holmes, where are you?!

I'm right here behind you, Watson. Shh!

Good god, Holmes!

Holmes, my favorite traveling coat has been stolen.

First your boot, now your coat-- it's a regular pattern.

No, it was a plain cotton.

Tell me, why did your uncle see fit to have himself painted

in such a modernistic style? That's not Sir Charles!

Now, we come to the last in the series of the Baskervilles.

What is it?

It's an interesting piece of work,

painted by the late Sir Charles in the last days of his life.

Lt is, of course, a self-portrait.

What of? A bowl of geraniums, I'd say.

Um...

I'll give you two shillings. Thank you, Dr. Mortimer.

Try for three.

Do I hear three?

Do I hear three?

Going once,

going twice...

Three. I have three.

Four. Five.

Six. Seven.

Eight. Nine.

I have nine shillings from the gentleman in the back.

Do I hear ten? Who is that derelict?!

I thought it was Sir Henry and invited him to dinner tonight.

What?! Sold to the gentleman...

Now see what you've made me do!
I've missed the bid. Oh, blast!

Never mind.

See that you invite the right man to dinner this time.

I think beryl's signaling me.

Hello, hello, hello! What's this, then?

Keep your eye on Sir Henry, Watson.

I think that woman has designs on him.

Oh, yes, indeed, quite right, yes!

( Growling and barking )

We'll see you at 7:30, Sir Henry. Yes, miss stapleton.

What shall I wear? Just be there.

Twerp.

I think she likes me.

I don't know why you bought this.

I don't know where I'm going to hang it in Baker Street.

Oh, look, a dog!

Exactly. A perfect likeness of the hound of the Baskervilles,

painted by the late Sir Charles

and hung upside down by glynis, who used to work in the hall

and, as you know, gets everything backwards.

Exactly!

So, that means that Sir Charles actually saw the hound

and painted it before his death.

Yes, I think he did paint it before his death, Watson.

I don't think he painted it afterwards. Exactly!

That means there is actually a huge, horrible
hound out there on the moors.

Precisely.

We can't possibly let Sir Henry go out there and have dinner

with beryl tonight.

On the contrary, you and Sir Henry will dine

at Merripit hall as planned. Oh, Holmes!

Ease back a bit! Calm yourself, Watson.

It's only a painting. I am calm, isn't I?!

( Howling )

What was that?

Ohh...

Oh, god!

Oh, god! Oh, I knew it!

I knew it!

I knew it, the hound is out there! I knew it all the time!

Wait for me!

Oh, what's that?!

No, no, no!

Keep away, you foul hound!

That's my traveling coat.

Stolen by Mr. Barrymore's sister,

"Ethel the flasher."

Who is, in reality, none other than Selden,
the vicious ax murderer.

Why was the hound chasing him? Because
he thought it was Sir Henry,

having been given the scent from your boot

that was stolen from the hotel.

Get back into your coat. After what you've told me,

I wouldn't be seen dead in that coat.

That remains to be seen.

God, all our suspects under one roof.

I'll stay out here. Not a word about Selden and the hound.

Won't you come inside with us?

I'd feel much safer if you were there.

It's in Watson's hands now.

Isn't he masterful? Yes.

Yes.

( Howling )

Ls that the hound? Good god!

Sir Henry! We weren't expecting you.

But you invited me.

But we still weren't expecting you.

You had no trouble on the moors?

Well, actually-- uh!

Far from it, actually, miss stapleton.

Yes, oh, yes.

No, it was ever so pleasant.

You might as well come in. Thank you.

Let me take your coat, Sir Henry.

I would like to propose a toast to the late Sir Henry.

Well, I didn't mean to be that late.

It's just that when we were crossing the moors--

there's no need to explain, Sir Henry.

What is more important is that I have reason to believe

that a horrible crime is about to take place here.

Tonight!

( Laughing )

Don't tell me you're going to play detective again?

You're hardly qualified.

Really, Dr. Mortimer?

All it takes to be a detective is courage,

intelligence, perseverance,

and a gun!

And I've got the gun.

( Laughing )

And what do you intend to do with it, Dr. Watson?

What, indeed, miss stapleton?

I expect you are all wondering

why I've gathered you here tonight, isn't it?!

We invited you, Dr. Watson.

I want you to know that I suspect every one of you.

Except this little girl here.

You take your filthy paws off of my angel, will ya?

I'll cuff round your whole head. Go, go, go!

You must be hungry after your long walk.

Why don't you sit down and have something to eat?

Thank you, I am feeling a bit peckish, actually.

Pity there's nothing left.

Don't worry about that. It's so thrilling meeting you all.

No doubt my sister can find you something.

How very kind. Before you arrived,

we were just discussing your uncle's Willy--uh, will,

which, as you know, is being read tomorrow.

Oh, yes. I'm longing to know what's in it.

Yes, as neighbors, we all share your interest

in the disposition of the property.

So, what is gonna happen to that bloody fence?

Restricts me huntin', don't it?

Come out of there with your hands in the air.

Don't wave that silly thing at me, sherl.

For god's sake, mother, what are you doing here?

I'll "for god's sake, mother, what are you doing here" you, my boy!

Where's watty and this volcano?

Mr. Taramasalata told me it's about to erupt!

There is no volcano, mother.

Why did you lie to me, then?

Where is watty? He's in there, mother.

All by himself?

What a dreadful lot of people he's with!

That one sitting on his right looks like a complete degenerate.

That's my client, mother.

What about the rest? Look at them.

They're continentals, aren't they? Yes, Jews.

I'm going in there. Shh! Mother!

You'll ruin everything!

He's not safe in there, sherl. Shh!

We're here to help you, sherl! Aren't we, Iris?

Yes, Mrs. Holmes. Don't interrupt, dear!

Don't mention death in front of Iris.

I tell you, that fence is coming down
whether you like it or not, you'll see!

But I'm sure my uncle had a very
good reason for putting it up.

Yes, to deprive my chihuahuas of the
chance to relieve themselves

where they like, on fresh ground in a different place!

( Distant howling )

Listen to the little darlings!

Do you know what it can do to the soul of an animal,

doing the same thing every day in the same place?

As far as I'm concerned, where your
little doggies relieve themselves

is entirely in your hands.

We on the moors don't take kindly to interference

from outsiders.

You'll come round, Sir Henry.

Uhh...

I think it needs something.

I'm sure Sir Henry will cooperate to the fullest degree.

Ah...ah... ah-choo!

D'oh!

Well, I don't want to stay here and be told what to do

with my own property!

Get out, then.

He's got a point there. Don't start taking his side, watty!

You make me sick! You're upsetting my patient.

Well, it's not my fault! You filthy scum!

( Growling )

( Howling )

( Screaming )

Sir Henry?

Yes. I think you had better go.

Your coat, Sir Henry.

Be sure you keep it on, otherwise you might get wet.

Wouldn't send a dog out on a night like this.

I'll see you all tomorrow for the reading of the will.

And then we'll see what fences are to be taken down

and what are staying up!

Good-bye, miss stapleton,

or should it be au revoir?

Mary will see you out.

( Yelling )

Filthy varmints!

Ohh!

Au revoir or good-bye?

A simple "no" would have sufficed.

( Howling )

( Gasps )

The hound!

♪ The hound, the hound is loose ♪

♪ it's chasing Sir Henry, the goose ♪

♪ poor Sir Henry is going to be eaten ♪

♪ the hound is after him ♪

♪ my good sir, Sir hen--! ♪

♪ The hound, the hound ♪

♪ the hound is after Sir Henry! ♪

♪ Sir Henry is in danger ♪

♪ Sir Henry, run for your life ♪

♪ your life, your life! ♪

Stop, hound, stop or I'll shoot!

Hold your fire, Watson!

The hound is on Sir Henry!

Certainly, and watch.

( Yelling )

You let the hound kill Sir Henry!

That's as may be, Watson.

Let's go down here and wait for the others.

Wait for the others? What's the matter with you?!

We ought to get a doctor for Sir Henry!
You are a doctor, Watson.

But--! Shh, be quiet, here they come.

What do you mean, be quiet?!

Aah!

He got him! Oh! Look, Dr. Mortimer.

Oh, dear, dear, dear.

The naughty hound has killed Sir Henry.

( Frankland laughs )

What a sad loss.

On the contrary, Dr. Mortimer.

Sir Henry is very much alive,

and very much in love.

( Kissing )

What a nice dog after all.

I think I left the kettle on.

We all appear to have rather pressing engagements.

Good heavens, is that the time?
Looks like it's going to rain.

Holmes, I smell a rat!

Look, they're getting away! Shouldn't we follow them?

Don't worry, Watson, we'll soon get to the bottom of this.

( Splash )

What was that?

Help! We're stuck in the swamp!

We've got 'em cornered! They've fallen into Grimpen mire!

Brilliant idea to change that sign post around.

Good day, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Holmes, I'm sinking.

Help me out and I'll put in a good word for you.

Watson! Grab hold of Dr. Mortimer.

Stop him sinking. Done!

I knew your friends were degenerate, sherl,

but I didn't know they were into this sort of thing.

Don't look, Iris-- hermaphrodites.

Oh, Mr. Holmes!

I see you've managed to pull one off.

Just as I thought! They're all in it together.

Oh, very funny!

You've arrived just in time for the reading of the will.

Watson, if you'd be good enough to find your way

into Dr. Mortimer's right-hand trouser pocket,

you'll find just what we've been looking for.

Come on, hand it over. Thank you.

Ln this, we find that the true heir to the Baskerville estate

is Sir Charles' good and docile dog,

the hound himself.

You mean the hound was his friend after all?

Exactly. In the event of the hound's death,

the estate would have reverted to Sir Henry,

and should Sir Henry have died, gone to his neighbors,

these muddy degenerates.

Then why did Dr. Mortimer call in you detectives?

He knew that you had a coronary complaint,

a disease traditionally associated with rising damp and alopecia.

Yes, all the Baskervilles have hearty dicks--

dicky hearts, I mean.

His plan was for the hound to go berserk with delight

at the scent of a Baskerville and chase you.

And, of course, Sir Henry, fed with the false rumors,

would drop down dead of heart failure.

Precisely. And Mortimer planned for us to witness this event

and shoot the hound.

What a rotten load of robbers I floated into.

The Baskerville police patrol will be here momentarily.

These people can scarcely sink any lower.

Are you really going to America?

This place won't seem the same without you.

You've been so kind.

Yes, well, I know, Sir H.

But since the demise of my sweet brother the ax murderer,

this place holds too many poignant memories for us.

What are you going to do?

Mrs. Holmes has read our palms.

I must warn you, Mrs. Barrymore,

my mother is mad.

What your mother said made sense.

She saw chickens in my lifeline.

Chickens?

And fried potatoes in mine.

We are going to carve out a new life

in a brave new world.

But what are you gonna do with all those chickens?

And fried potatoes?

Put 'em in little cardboard boxes

and cover them with a special sauce.

We will send you a postcard from Kentucky.

Oh, don't be soppy, Arthur.

Here's your keys. Oh! Thank you.

Come, Ada. Well, good-bye.

Good luck. Good riddance!

Come on, my darling.

Yes, up we go, yes.

Isn't he a lovely dog, sherl?

To think of all those people

wanting to make Sir Henry scared of him.

What a wicked world we live in, my darling.

Oh, yes, yes. Do stop chattering, Iris!

I saw you looking at my breasts.

One thing puzzles me, Holmes.

Obviously, the late Sir Charles was not killed by the hound.

So, what did kill him?

He was on his way to the outside bathroom.

Obviously, a fatal attack of acid indigestion.

The Barrymores' cooking would be the death of anybody.

( Gasping )

I told you not to mention death in front of Iris!

I've lost a medium rare

in a world where the stakes are high.

Mother, she was not a psychic.

I wish you'd give the whole thing up.

If it wasn't for Iris and Mr. Taramasalata,

we would never have known about the volcano!

For the last time, mother,

there is no volcano!

( Laughing )

"There is no volcano!"

( Rumbling )

( Piano playing off-key )

( Finishes playing )

( Audience booing )