All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S02E01.New.Chairs.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny

- What are you so engrossed in?

- I've just been reading a
very interesting article here

about Listerine
Antizyme toothpaste.

Says it stops the major
cause of tooth decay,

every minute of every day.

- Well, that's no secret.

I know that.

- Well, you read this magazine?

- Why, sure.

I also use the toothpaste.

[music playing]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first all
day anti-enzyme toothpaste are

happy to bring you a repeat
performance of one of the best

liked of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife
Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Come on, David.

That's no fair.

- I tackled you, didn't I?

- What kind of a tackle
do you call that?

- I call it using
the old noggin.

- Watch your language, David.

- The noggin is your head.

- That's not where
you grabbed me.

[doorbell]

- Answer the door, will you?

- Answer the door, he says.

What am I, the doorman?

- Your standing
right in front of it.

Is it too much trouble?

- What are you
lazy or something?

- Do the Nelsons live here?

- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.

There's nobody home
right now, though.

- Well, we're from the Emporium.

We got a couple of chairs
we gotta deliver here.

This is it, Joe.

- You need any help?

- No, thanks, buster.

I think we can
handle it all right.

- "Do you need any help."

You couldn't even lift
one of those chairs.

- It doesn't hurt to be polite.

- Boy, those are sure
swell looking chairs.

- Yeah, I wonder how come
we're getting new chairs.

- I don't know.

I guess Mom ordered 'em.

- Now, if one of
you fellas would

be good enough to sign
this receipt here for me.

- Here, I'll sign it.

- No, you better
let me do it, Ricky.

- What's the matter with me?

- Nothing.

You write very well
for a boy your age.

This happens to be
an important paper.

That's all.

- Better let your big
brother sign it this time.

- You can sign it next time.

- "Next time."

We buy so many
chairs around here.

- That's great, thanks.

Well, so long, fellas.
- Bye.

- So long.
- Goodbye, boys.

- Bye.

- Thanks for the chairs.

- Boy, these are really
nice looking chairs.

- I bet I could do a
neat headstand in these.

- No acrobatics, now, Ricky.

These chairs are to sit in.

- You sound just like Pop.

- What's all this about?

- New chairs.

- Oh, I thought I saw the
Emporium truck pull away

a moment ago.

- They look swell,
don't they, Pop?

- Yeah, these are real nice.

- I signed for 'em.

- Big man.

- Oh, it's funny,
your mother would

go out and buy new
chairs without speaking

to me about it, though.

- They sure look nice,
though, don't they?

- Yeah.

Not only look nice, but
their mighty comfortable.

- They sure are, boy.

- Remember, you guys,
no acrobatics on these.

These are for sitting in.

- You sound just like David.

- Hello.

Somewhat looks like
a convention in here.

- Oh, hi, Harriet.
You're just in time.

Your chairs just arrived.

- Chairs?

- Well, yeah, the chairs you
ordered from the Emporium.

- Well, there must
be some mistake.

- They're the wrong ones?

- Why, I don't know
anything about them.

- You mean you didn't
order these two chairs?

- Well, certainly not.

I wouldn't order chairs
without asking you first.

- Well, why would they have
two chairs delivered here

if you didn't order them?

- Maybe it's a present
from the Emporium.

- I hardly think so.

- I don't know, Mom.

I buy an awful lot
of stuff down there.

- Maybe there's a mix
up down at the store

and they have another
Nelson in mind or something.

- You better phone them and
tell 'em to come pick 'em up.

- Do you know the number?

- No, I don't.

It's probably in the
phone book, though.

- Dave, would you get
the book for me, please?

It's on the table.

Get settled in these chairs,
they're so darn comfortable.

- Here you are, Pop.
- Thanks.

- Let's have a catch, Rick.

- Oop, not in the house.

And don't go too far, because
lunch will be ready soon.

- Just tell them there's
been some mistake.

- [ON PHONE] Emporium.

- Hello, I'd like to have the
complaint department, please.

I imagine that's the best.

- [ON PHONE] Complaints
and adjustments.

- Oh, hello, my name is Nelson.

I imagine you would
be the one to contact.

A couple of large
living room chairs

were delivered to our house
when there was nobody home.

That is, only our
boys were home.

They let the men in.

- [ON PHONE] Have the
chairs been damaged, sir?

- Oh, no.

No, they're in
perfect condition.

They're very nice chairs.

In fact, they are
very comfortable.

- Get to the point, dear.
- Pardon me.

What did you say?

- I said, get to the point.

- Hello, are you still there?

- [ON PHONE] Oh,
for goodness sakes.

You know, I didn't recognize
you at first, Mabel.

- Mabel?

- [ON PHONE] Always
kidding, Mabel.

Who's that with you, Charlie?

- What'd she say?

- She thinks I'm somebody else.

- Well, who for goodness sake?
- Somebody named--

- [ON PHONE] Hello?

- --Joe, I think.
- [ON PHONE] Hello!

- Hello.

Can we start over again, please?

Look, I'm not Mabel.

- Mabel?

- I'm not Joe.

I'm a customer, and
I have a complaint

to register about two chairs
that were delivered to our home

this morning by mistake.

- [ON PHONE] You mean
this isn't Mabel?

- No, it isn't.

You must have a bad connection.

My name is Nelson.

- [ON PHONE] Oh,
I'm terribly sorry.

I have this friend
with a low voice

and she's all the time kidding.

- Fine.

- [ON PHONE] Now, what's
this about chairs, please?

- Well, they were
delivered to our house,

but we didn't order them.

Apparently, they were
ordered by somebody else.

- [ON PHONE] What was
the name again, please?

- Nelson.

Ozzie Nelson.

- [ON PHONE] Oh,
thank you, Mr. Nelson.

I'll check as soon
as the men come in.

- Yeah, well, just
one thing, though.

The name on the receipt
will be David, David Nelson.

They were sent to Ozzie
Nelson, but David signed them.

- [ON PHONE] I see.

Is that R for Robert?

- R?

- [ON PHONE] Didn't you say
were ordered by RZ Nelson?

- No, no, no, no, no.

They were ordered by
Ozzie Nelson, not RZ.

Ahh, Ahh, like in gargle.

- [ON PHONE] I'm terribly sorry.

Now you say the chairs were
ordered by this Mr. "Gargy"

Nelson?

- They were not
ordered by Gargy.

They were-- in the
first place, there

is nobody in the world
named Gargy Nelson.

Miss, let's assume
for the moment

that there is such a
person as Gargy Nelson.

He did not order the chairs.

- [ON PHONE] That's
what you said.

They were ordered
by Mr. David Nelson.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

David is the boy
who signed for them.

- [ON PHONE] I see.

Then David was at
Gargy Nelson's house

at the time the chairs arrived?

- That's right.

David is my son.

I'm Gargy.

Now, at your convenience, would
you please stop by and pick up

the two chairs?

- [ON PHONE] Are you
sure this isn't Mabel?

- Believe me, it's not Mabel.

- [ON PHONE] Well, OK.

I'll send a truck over.

But you sure sound like Mabel.

- Anything you say,
just pick up the chair.

[music playing]

- Hi, Ozzie.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- Well, this is a coincidence.

Just coming over to see you.

- Oh, good for you.

- Katherine's out visiting
some of the relatives,

so I thought maybe I'd
get a couple of books

and spend the day relaxing
in one of your new chairs.

- Oh, how'd you hear
about the chairs?

- Well, I saw the
guys delivering them.

- Oh, well, there was a
mistake about them, Thorny.

They weren't supposed
to be for us.

I phoned the Emporium, and
they're sending a pickup truck

with a couple of men.

They're gonna take
them back to the store.

- Yeah?
When'd you phone them?

- Oh, about half hour ago.

Why?

- Gee, how can that be?

It was only 10 minutes ago I
saw them delivering the chairs.

- No, no, no, no.

You saw the men taking
the chairs from our house

out to the pickup truck.

- Oh, maybe that was it.

All I know is I saw a couple
of guys taking chairs--

now, wait a minute.

They were taking the
chairs into your house.

- No, no, no, no.

You saw the men taking
the chairs from our house

out to the truck.

- Oz, were you there?

- No, I wasn't there, but I
know what they were doing.

Think now.

You saw two guys
come into our house,

get chairs, and take
them out to the truck.

- Not unless they were
walking backwards.

I distinctly remember
hearing the chairs bang up

against the front door.

Now, they wouldn't
be that careless

if they were taking them back.

- Ozzie.

- Harriet, you're just in
time to explain something

to poor old Thorny.

- Yeah, well, maybe you
can explain something

to poor old Harriet.

- What-- what's the matter?

- Why did the store
send us two more chairs?

- They did send us
two more chairs?

Well, for goodness
sakes, you heard

me talking on the
phone with the girl

and she promised to send
the truck right over.

- Well, she sent the truck
right over, all right,

with two more chairs.

- How do you like that?

Well, I explained the whole
thing very carefully to her

on the phone.
You-- you heard me, Harriet.

- All I know is I just
walked into the living room

and we now have a total
of four new chairs.

- Well, now wait a minute, Oz.

Where are you going?

- I'm gonna go in and
phone the Emporium

and straighten this girl out.

- What girl?

- Well, you know, uh, Mabel.

That-- that is not, uh, Mabel.

I'm Mabel.

Well, no, I mean--

you know, that's what the
girl called me, Mabel.

That's how the whole
confusion started.

- What confusion?

- Well, about the chairs
and Mabel and Gargy.

- Gargy?

Now, who's Gargy, Mabel?

- I'll explain the whole
thing some later time, Thorny,

but I'm gonna call those
people at the Emporium

and tell them they can't push
around a guy named "Mabel."

[music playing]

- Hello, I'd like to speak
to the manager, please.

- See that tight-lipped,
fiery-eyed fellow talking

on the telephone?
Well, that's--

- Uh, this is Ozzie Nelson.
- --Ozzie Nelson.

This morning--

- This morning, two chairs
were delivered to my house

by mistake.
- Yeah.

Anyway, Ozzie
called the Emporium.

- I called the Emporium and
asked to have them picked up.

- Exactly.
But instead of--

- But instead of
picking up two chairs,

they brought us two more.

- So, now Ozzie
went would like--

- So, now I'd like to have
the four chairs picked up.

- Well, a guy just doesn't
stand a chance around here

unless his name is Nelson.

- Are you sure you've
got that straight now?

That'll be fine.

Thank you very much.

[music playing]

- Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

- Hi, Pop.

- You're just in time to
watch me do a backflip.

- Now, wait a minute.

These aren't our chairs.

- Well, we're not
hurting them any, Pop.

- Well, Ricky just said
he's going to do a backflip.

- Yeah, but I just bounce
off these new ones.

I land on this old stuff.

- Look, I don't care where
you bounce or where you land.

These aren't our chairs,
and they're brand new.

Now, no acrobatics of any kind.

- Fine.

What good are new chairs then?

- Well, Webster defines a
chair as something to sit in.

- He probably couldn't
do a backflip.

- Let us try one trick, Pop.

- Well, OK.

Just this once now.

And be careful.

And don't break your neck.

- Hey!

- Hey, that's real good, Rick.

Now-- now no more.

That's it.

David.

Come on now.

These chairs aren't
for acrobatics, David.

- I'm not hurting
the chair, Pop.

- Well, I mean, you're
doing a handstand on them.

Besides, if you're gonna do
a handstand on the chair,

you're not supposed to put your
hands on the opposite arms.

The way we used to do it
was to put one hand up here

on the back of the chair, and
then this hand on the arm.

It's a little more spectacular.

- Gee, I didn't know you
could do a handstand, Pop.

- Well, I-- I haven't done
it in quite some time.

But I think maybe I
could still do it.

We used to-- give it the--

[brief dramatic music]

[brief dramatic music]

I'll get these big shoes off.

They're as heavy as lead.

- Better take off
your pants, Pop.

You got a lot of
lead in them, too.

- Maybe you guys give me
a little boost here, huh?

[dramatic music building]

- Oh, boy, Pop.

- Pinch your poor
old father just

for a couple of measly pennies?

- Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Pop.

Let me help you up.

- No, it's all right.

[grunts]

[chuckles]

Yeah, this chair is pretty
comfortable, though.

Kind of nice
looking chairs, too.

Those old ones are
getting kind of shabby.

- Yeah, I'm ashamed to
be seen jumping in 'em.

- Can we keep them, Pop?

- Well, I don't think we
oughta keep all four of them.

But I think maybe we
might buy these two.

- Oh boy, let's put on
our gym trunks, David.

- Now, now, now,
wait a minute, Ricky.

If I buy these chairs for your
mother, they're to be sat in.

They're not for acrobatics.

You can use something
else for your gymnastics.

- How about buying us a trapeze?

- Well, or a cage maybe.

I better phone the
Emporium and tell

'em we're gonna keep
these two chairs.

- Gee, this will be a
swell surprise for mom.

- We could put the
trapeze in the backyard.

- We could hang it from
the limb of the big tree.

- Yeah, that would
be a neat place.

I bet I could hang by my toes.

- Hello, could I speak
to the manager, please?

Hello, is this the manager?

Oh.

Well, Mr. Osborne, I
spoke to the manager

a few minutes ago about
picking up four chairs.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My name is Nelson, Ozzie Nelson.

And this morning, two chairs
were delivered to my house

by mistake, and I called
to have them taken back.

But instead of
picking up two chairs,

the men brought us two more.

And then I called the manager
and asked him to send somebody

out to pick up the four chairs.

And now I decided that
we'd like two new chairs.

No, no, no.

[chuckles] No, I don't want
you to send us two more chairs.

We'll simply keep two chairs
and send back two chairs.

- Don't forget the trapeze.

- Yes, I did want
four chairs picked up,

and now I want to
keep two chairs.

Yes, just have the men
pick up two chairs instead

of four chairs, and
then we keep two chairs.

And charge them to my account.

- Have them charge the
trapeze to my account.

- Ricky, go have a
banana or something.

Now, what was that
you guys want?

All right, thank you very much.

- What'd he say, Pop?

- Well, I think we got
everything straightened out

now.

Why don't you guys go
outside and play for a while?

- Can we take the chairs?

- No, no, of course not.

Pass the football
around or something.

[knocking]

- Come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

- Hi, boy.

- Hey, get a load
of all the chairs.

Now, this is what I
call a real cozy room.

- Oh, thanks.

Set yourself down
on that beige chair.

See how you like it.

- Thanks.

[sighs]

- What's the verdict?

- Oz, in my 30 years of
professional loafing,

I've never been in a
more comfortable chair.

- Yeah, we kind of like it.

- Oh, it's wonderful.

[SARCASTICALLY] Uh, don't
forget to call me for dinner.

- Yeah, I'm gonna buy those
two chairs for Harriet.

It's sort of a surprise.

- What are you gonna
with the old chairs?

- Haven't thought much about it.

Guess I'll trade 'em in.

- Trade 'em in?

Well, they wouldn't make
it worth your while.

No, I have a better idea.

Why don't you donate
them to the men's lounge

at the bowling alley?

- You mean at Monahans?

- Well, sure.

You're always saying
how nice it would

be to have a
comfortable place to sit

while waiting for an alley.

- Well, I better
ask Harriet first.

- What for?

- Well, she may object.

- Well, then why ask her?

- Oh, I'm sure
she wouldn't care.

After all, it's
for a good cause.

- Oh, certainly.

- And you'll tell Monahan
to come pick 'em up, huh?

- Yeah, yeah.
OK, Oz.

- Say, Thorny.
Wait a minute.

I think I'll walk down as far
as the drug store with you.

- Well, fine, fine.

- Well, I'll just put my
shoes on and get my coat.

[music playing]

- Come on, Oz.

Let's go.

- You know, Thorny, I used to
be a pretty good acrobat when

I was a kid.

- Well, goody for you.

[music playing]

- Oh, hello, boys.

- Hey, where are the chairs?

- Well, they were picked up.

- But they took all four of 'em.

- Well, yes, of course.

- Gee, didn't Pop tell you?

- Tell me what?

- Well, he wanted
to keep two of 'em.

He was gonna surprise you.

- Oh, golly.

I made the man take
all four of 'em.

- [BOTH] Oh, golly.

- Hey, hey, boys, hun.

- Hi, Pop.

Don't sit out in the new
chairs 'cause they aren't here.

- What happened
to the new chairs?

- Well, I'm afraid I had
them sent back to the store.

- I told that guy that he--

- No, it's my
fault. The man said

he was only supposed
to pick up two of them,

and I made him take all four.

- Oh, golly.

- That's what we said.

[doorbell]

- Oh, I'll get it.

- Mr. Nelson?
- Yes.

- We're from the Emporium.

We're supposed to
pick up two chairs.

- Oh, well, I'm afraid
you're a little late.

The man picked them
up a while ago.

- Well, that's impossible.

Lenny and I are the only
ones on the afternoon shift.

- Well, no, my
wife-- uh, Harriet.

- Just a minute.

The phone's ringing.

- Well, now, where are
the chairs, please?

- Well, no--

I'm sorry, but my wife was here,
and the man from the Emporium

came over and picked
up the chairs.

- Well, I'm dreadfully
sorry, but I know

he wasn't from the Emporium.

- Well--

- Ozzie, the strangest
thing just happened.

Some man just phoned
from the bowling alley

and said thanks for the chairs.

- Don't tell me you gave
those chairs to the man

from the bowling alley.
- Well, I don't know.

Some man came to the
back door and said

he had to pick up two chairs.

- Well, did he say he
was from the Emporium?

- Well, naturally, I assumed
he was in the Emporium.

- I keep telling you,
we're from the Emporium.

You can ask Lenny,
he'll tell you

that we're from the Emporium.

- We're from the Emporium.

- Now, where's the
chairs, please?

It's getting late.

- Gee, I'm awfully
sorry, fellas.

This is very
embarrassing, but there's

been sort of a little mix
up, and I'll straighten out

everything tomorrow morning.

- But that won't help me any.

I've got orders to pick up
two chairs this afternoon.

They won't let me check out
if I don't come back with 'em.

- Well, I'm very sorry, and
I'd help you out if I could.

As you can see for yourself,
we don't have the chairs.

- What about those two
chairs in the living room?

- Those are our old chairs.

Those are not the
chairs that are supposed

to go back to the Emporium.

- The slip just says two chairs.

They won't let me go home if
I don't bring back two chairs.

- Well, you can't
have those chairs.

Those are our old chairs.

They're not the chairs
you're supposed to take.

- I want to go home.

- Why don't you let 'em take
the old chairs and we can settle

the whole thing in the morning?

- OK.

Go into the living room and
take our two chairs, which

you're not supposed to take.

Nevertheless, you take 'em
anyway, put them in the truck,

take them back to the Emporium.

And I'll call up tomorrow
and settle everything.

Does that make you happy?

- Oh, thank you, sir.

And thank you, lady.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I hate to impose on you, but
Lenny has a very bad back.

I was--

- Uh, uh, uh-- say no more.

I'll go into the living room and
help you carry the chairs out

to the truck.

- Oh, thank you.

- You're a peach.

- Hi, Harriet.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Hey, what the
heck's going on here?

- Who knows?

[music playing]

- Are those the fellas
from the bowling alley?

- No, they aren't, Thorny.

This is all pretty confusing.

They're the men
from the Emporium.

- Fine mess you got me into,
you and your brilliant idea.

- What'd I do?

- Well, I don't know
who you talk to over

at Monahan's, but
somebody came over here,

picked up the four new
chairs and took 'em down

to the bowling alley.

- No kidding?

Say, they'll make the
lounge look great.

- No, I'm gonna get 'em.

I'm going right back
there and pick them up.

- Well, now wait.
You can't be an Indian giver.

- What do you
mean, Indian giver?

Do you think I'm want to
give four brand new chairs

to Monahan's Alley?

- Well, Oz, I think it's
very generous of you.

Who knows?

Someday they may name a
bowling ball after you.

Oh, Oz, don't take
it so serious.

In a couple of years from
now, you'll look back on this

and laugh.

And I'll still be laughing.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Oh, hello, Katherine.

- Is that for me, Harriet?

- Oh, he's right here.

I'll let you speak to him.

Here, Thorny.

- Hello, dear.

Yes, yes.

They were delivered over here.

Yes, two beige chairs
and two green ones.

What's that?

They were for us?

Oz, would you care
to speak to my wife?

- No-- no thanks.
- Uh, Harriet?

- Not me.

- Look, dear, I'll
call you right back.

Oh, this is terrible.

Those chairs were for us.

Katherine had them
delivered here

so she could break the
news to me gradually.

- You mean Katherine bought
all four of the chairs?

- Well, no.

She just wanted to
see which chairs

looked best in her living room.

Oz, we gotta get those chairs
back from the bowling alley.

- Thorny, you don't want
me to be an Indian giver.

- Oz!

- After all, they're liable to
take my name off that bowling

ball.

- Ozzie, Thorny's serious.

- All right, come on, Thorny.

I'll go down to the
bowling alley with you

and get the chairs.
- Right now?

- Right now.

Come on.

- Bless you, Oz.

- Harriet, will you
call the Emporium

and tell them what happened?

- Holy smokes.

Hey, they'rer stopping
in front of your house.

- Harriet, I don't care
what their orders are.

I don't care if
they can't go home.

They're not gonna take it.

- Not gonna take what?

- Look out that window.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Hello, is this the Emporium?

Well, my name is Nelson.

My wife called you this
morning about your sending back

two of our old chairs
that your men insisted

on picking up yesterday
due to a misunderstanding.

Yes.

Well, it's-- there's been
a little more confusion.

Instead of sending
our old chairs back,

your men picked up our
dining room chairs.

Yeah, it's a rather
an awful situation.

[music playing]

- Hi, Doc.
- Hello, Fred.

I see you're taking my advice
for that dandruff infection.

- Doc, there's nothing
like this Listerine.

Whym it's less than a week and
look, not a flake, not an itch.

- Keep it up, Fred.

- Listerine antiseptic
kills germs.

Here are the results
of a clinical test.

With the simple twice a
day Listerine treatment,

there was improvement, or all
dandruff symptoms completely

disappeared, in a single
month in 76% of the cases.

76% of those tested showed
improvement or all dandruff

symptoms completely disappeared.

Scales and flakes, itching scalp
may mean infectious dandruff.

Well, it just stands to reason
where germs are present,

you should have
germ killing action.

Listerine antiseptic
kills germs.

- And look, not a
flake, not an itch.

- Keep it up, Fred.

- Listerine antiseptic
kills germs by millions.

- The voice on the
telephone was Lurene Tuttle.

The delivery men were played
by Dick Ryan, Brick Sullivan,

Ralph Peters, and Henry Culky.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

[music playing]

Read the inside story
of "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet"
in the July issue

of "Coronet" magazine.

You'll enjoy the story by Herb
Dalmas titled, "Ozzie, Harriet,

and Family."

[music playing]