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1
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[theme music playing]
2
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,760
Hi, I'm Will,
and yes, it's a briefcase.
3
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,520
I'm still at a normal,
terrifying comprehensive,
4
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,640
'cause my Mum hasn't scraped
enough money together
5
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,520
to send me back
to my old, private,
6
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,160
and, let's face it,
better school.
7
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,160
However,
I have made friends here
8
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,880
and in some ways, this term
will be better than the last.
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00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,200
And in many other ways,
a lot, lot worse.
10
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,440
But before all that,
my first hurdle of the new term
11
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,280
involved a freezing cold day
in January,
12
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,760
a coach and Jay
calling me a bender.
13
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,600
-Morning, benders.
-All right.
14
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,680
This is it.
15
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,200
The Swanage field trip
is legendary for carnage.
16
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,080
It's the only reason
I chose geography.
17
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,760
Seems like a flimsy reason.
Unspecified carnage.
18
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,640
I'll tell you one thing
that won't be flimsy.
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00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,560
My cock. There's this sexy
housewife down there,
20
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,240
and every year she fucks
one bloke from our school.
21
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How can you possibly know that?
22
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,680
My mate went last year
and he banged her.
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He said that she was the best
he'd ever had.
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A right fit, mature bird
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00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,040
that does it
because she loves young meat.
26
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,280
Oh, bollocks. For one thing,
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you don't even have a mate
in year 13.
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-Yeah, I do. Chris Groves.
-Never heard of him.
29
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,440
Well, he's not gonna hang out
with a twat like you, is he?
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So let me get this straight.
Your imaginary friend fucked
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an imaginary older woman
in Swanage,
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00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,920
so you decided to do geography
A level. Good plan.
33
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,480
We should try and have a laugh,
do something different.
34
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,920
We could go on a boat trip.
35
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I checked online,
they hire boats from the harbor.
36
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The Internet really
is wasted on you.
37
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No, I don't know.
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We should try and get off
with the local girls,
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00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,920
or get some booze in
or something.
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00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,040
Everything we're shit at here,
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00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,600
but by the seaside.
Yeah, can't wait.
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00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,720
We could light off a flood
of fireworks in our room.
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Could do.
Might be a bit pointless.
44
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,840
-Neil, what are you doing?
-Getting on the coach.
45
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But you don't do
geography or sociology.
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I know that.
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00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,520
So what are you doing
getting on the coach
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00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,160
to the geography and sociology
field trip?
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00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,240
Jay was going on
about how mental it all was,
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00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,560
and I really wanted to go,
51
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,920
so I asked Mr. Kennedy if I
could come and help him out.
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00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,360
Pedo Kennedy?
He said yes, presumably?
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00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,680
-He did, actually.
-Who's Pedo Kennedy?
54
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,200
Geography teacher and pedo.
55
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,760
I don't believe the school would
actually employ a pedophile.
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00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,760
They have done.
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00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,560
The thing is,
they haven't, have they?
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00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:16,880
He was caught
in the music cupboard
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00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,440
wanking over
the school orchestra.
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00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:19,960
-When?
-Before we started.
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Convenient.
What's he asked you to do, Neil?
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He's got to collect
a load of samples.
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00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,760
-What, of your spunk?
-Collected in his mouth.
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-And hair.
-Behave.
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[Will] So even though Neil
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00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,280
was now a suspected
pedo's plaything,
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00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,280
we boarded the coach
with high hopes.
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00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,640
It might have been
a new term and a new year,
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but some things never change.
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[clicking]
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-Still going well with Carli?
-Shut up.
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-Here he is.
-Watch out, Neil.
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00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,040
-Oh, don't do that.
-Oh, thumbs up, friend!
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Oh, weird, old,
inappropriate friend.
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00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,880
Oh, spunk samples friend.
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00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,400
Why did he have to do
the thumbs up?
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'Cause that's what'd be going
up your arse first.
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00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,920
-Going up your arse first.
-[laughs]
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,120
[Will] But in all
the excitement,
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00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,120
we'd forgotten
the first rule of coach travel.
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00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:00,960
Hard kids at the back.
82
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,080
-I'm off.
-No! Stay!
83
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,640
There's no reason for us
to move, and we're not moving!
84
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,840
-Move.
-Why should we move?
85
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Do you want me
to give you a reason?
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00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,040
-I'm not leaving without one.
-I don't think you understand.
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00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,560
I don't think
that you understand
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00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,840
that we got up early
to secure these seats and...
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00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,920
[choking] Yeah.
Fine, good point.
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00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,680
[Jay] Ah, fuck, where are we
gonna sit now?
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What is going on?
Will you lot sit down?
92
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,160
Our seats have been taken, sir.
There's nowhere left.
93
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,680
Yes, there is. There's loads
at the front. Sit next to John.
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00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,280
I'm not sitting next to John,
his fat arse takes up two seats.
95
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,200
I've got feelings too, you know.
96
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,320
Fine, you're sitting next to me.
97
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-Oh, what?
-Well, it's me or Mr. Kennedy.
98
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Now, come on, hurry up!
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And McKenzie, sit down.
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-Hello.
-Hi.
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-Um... who're you?
-I'm Lauren Harris. I'm new.
102
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,720
Hi, I'm Will McKenzie.
Scary being new, isn't it?
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00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,840
Yeah. It's a bit.
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00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,800
The way the kids
all threaten to beat you up
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and call you names like,
"briefcase wanker!"
106
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,440
-It's not been like that.
-No, it wasn't for me either.
107
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,680
[Will] I was more used
to field trips
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to places like
the Alps or Barcelona
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than shitty English
seaside towns,
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but as we headed to Swanage,
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there was definitely
a sense of excitement,
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a feeling
that anything could happen.
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For the first couple of hours,
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00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,040
then it became just another
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incredibly tedious
coach journey.
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00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,840
Don't even think
about trying to talk to me.
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-Oi, who wants to swap seats?
-Nah, you're all right.
118
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,240
Oh, God,
it's so boring up there.
119
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,920
Wait a minute, who's Sponge-bob
shit-his-pants talking to?
120
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,520
-She's fit!
-[Jay] Yeah, she is.
121
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,280
-This'll get her attention.
-Neil, don't be embarrassing.
122
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Oi! Everyone, watch this!
123
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-[horn honks]
-[students laugh]
124
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,400
-What's going on?
-Neil's jut being silly.
125
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,560
Is he doing that horn thing?
That's really funny.
126
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,040
Yeah, really funny-silly,
isn't it?
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Silly in a funny way.
128
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,240
-Do it again, Neil.
-Yeah, do it again, Neil.
129
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:08,520
[horn honks]
130
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[all cheering]
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Here, if you like that,
I got a good one.
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-[student 1] Such a...
-[student 2] Don't be silly.
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[chuckles]
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What? They loved it.
135
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,840
Cartwright. Sit down.
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[Will] So far,
the only unspecified carnage
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we had witnessed
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was what Big John had left
in the coach toilet.
139
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,400
But Jay wasn't giving up
140
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,240
on finding his
mythical seaside MILF.
141
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,400
So where do you think
this nympho hangs out, then?
142
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,320
Not sure. High Street, maybe?
143
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,160
Or down by the ice-cream stall
on the front?
144
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,040
Apparently, she comes up to you
145
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,600
and asks for a lick
of your Cornetto.
146
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,280
It means she's offering
a cock-in-mouth situation.
147
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,080
-It's like a code.
-Brilliant.
148
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,120
Oh, Will, bit embarrassing,
149
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,920
but do you mind
if I sit with you at lunch?
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00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,760
'Cause I've got no mates
and all that.
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00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,520
God! No problem at all.
152
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,720
You can sit on my lap
if you like.
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00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:03,640
[chuckles]
154
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,760
No, thank you.
155
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,520
I thought you should know,
that thing you did on the bus
156
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,960
was really sad and pathetic
and not funny.
157
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,040
I'll see you later.
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-Frigid.
-[chuckles]
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00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,680
Looks like you won't be
getting off with Lauren, then.
160
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,280
Who cares?
She's just a little girl.
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00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,800
I didn't come down here
for girls, mate.
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I get enough of them back home.
163
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,880
No, I've come down here
for a woman.
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00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,200
-She is fit, though.
-What?
165
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,640
-Lauren's fit, isn't she?
-I saw her first.
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00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,360
-What? I only said she was fit.
-Hi, guys.
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-Hi!
-Here, sit down here.
168
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,000
Oh, I'm just off actually.
169
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,600
Oh, no, don't leave
on my account.
170
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,480
No, it's not that.
171
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,160
It's just I've got to see
a man about a dog,
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-then a woman about a pussy.
-[chuckles]
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I do know what that means.
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00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,920
-Right. You coming, Neil?
-Yeah.
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00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,960
-I'm Simon, by the way.
-Hi, Simon.
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00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,080
-Sorry about those two.
-It's all right,
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00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,960
I've got a younger brother,
so I'm used to it.
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00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:54,880
Well, actually, he's eight,
179
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,880
so he's a bit more mature,
but you know...
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00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,600
[Lauren and Simon laugh]
181
00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,920
[in Yoda voice]
"Feisty one, you are!"
182
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,560
-What?
-"Feisty one, you are!"
183
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,680
-Why are you talking like that?
-[normal voice] It was Yoda.
184
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,760
From Star Wars.
185
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,920
It's the same impression I was
186
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,160
doing on the coach
for about an hour.
187
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,160
Oh, was that what that was?
Oh, good.
188
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,360
I thought you might,
you know, have a problem.
189
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,600
-[chuckles nervously] No.
-Or Asperger's, maybe?
190
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,640
Wrong again!
191
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,240
Have you ever been
tested for anythin'?
192
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:23,440
Good one.
193
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,160
Oh, I was going to ask,
194
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,840
would one of you
do the survey with me,
195
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,560
'cause I've got no mates
and all that?
196
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,080
-I will.
-Oh, really?
197
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,240
-Yep.
-I don't think you can.
198
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,840
-Why not?
-Yeah, why not?
199
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,720
Um, maybe because of what
I mentioned earlier?
200
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,880
-Jay fucking an old woman?
-Oh, ladies present.
201
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,200
No, um, the other thing.
202
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,960
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
203
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,320
Look, Will. Lauren doesn't
know anyone. Don't be a dick.
204
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,080
I'm not being a dick, Simon,
205
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,000
I'm just saying who am I
going to do my survey with?
206
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,640
Oh, no.
207
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,400
Mr. Gilbert says
I'm to pair up with you
208
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,000
because I'm not very good
209
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,960
with directions
and I might get lost.
210
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:01,960
Great!
211
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,000
Can I borrow your forms?
I spilled ketchup on mine.
212
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,240
[Will] So Simon got to hang out
with lovely Lauren,
213
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,800
while I had to stop a fat kid
from wandering into the sea.
214
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,440
Meanwhile, Jay was searching
215
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,720
for that rarest of beasts,
216
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,080
a sexy middle-aged woman.
217
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,280
Hurry up, Jay,
I've got to get back
218
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,040
to help Kennedy out
in 15 minutes.
219
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,320
All right, I'll try this one.
220
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,320
-Excuse me.
-Yes?
221
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,320
Um, we're doing
a survey for school.
222
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,680
Can I ask you a few questions?
223
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:24,960
Will it take long?
224
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,200
It can take as long as you like.
225
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,040
-Sorry?
-Nah.
226
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,040
First question,
what form of transport
227
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,400
did you take into town today?
228
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,720
-I drove.
-Drove.
229
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,920
And how often do you use
public transport?
230
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:39,720
Rarely.
231
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,160
And do you wear, like, stockings
and that?
232
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,080
Is this about transport?
233
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,080
It's just the questions
written down. Uh, one last one.
234
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,120
Ohh...
235
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,200
-All right?
-Oh, hello. Where's Lauren?
236
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,840
She went to get a drink.
She's nice, isn't she?
237
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,120
I thought you were
only interested in Carli.
238
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,520
Well, sort of, but Lauren's
all right, you know?
239
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,480
Easy to talk to.
240
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,760
-Did she mention me at all?
-No.
241
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,200
-Right.
-She said she thought
242
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,360
I was really good-looking.
243
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,320
-Oh.
-I was not expecting that.
244
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,520
This is a bit weird
'cause I really like her,
245
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,120
but I think she might like you.
246
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,320
Right, Will.
If you think she fancies me
247
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,560
then I should
probably go for it.
248
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,480
Perhaps, except I'm saying
that I like her.
249
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,040
I should go for it, though.
250
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,360
Any thoughts on the
"me liking her" part?
251
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:30,920
Um...
252
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,400
No, sure, good point.
253
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,600
But she is fit,
so you can see my problem.
254
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,480
-Not really.
-But you know how it is.
255
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,600
How? How is it?
256
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,000
You know.
257
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,640
Why don't we just see what
happens later back in the dorm?
258
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,200
She might not
be interested in us.
259
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,280
I suppose that's true.
Let's just wait and see.
260
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,120
And no hard feelings
if she goes with me?
261
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,280
Oh, I'm not worried about that.
262
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,640
All right?
Found that nympho yet?
263
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,480
-Not yet.
-Surprisingly.
264
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,600
-Where have you been, Neil?
-Me and Kennedy went swimming.
265
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,360
-Sorry?
-Swimming?
266
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,720
-Yeah.
-Just the two of you?
267
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:06,640
-Yeah.
-Pedo Kennedy
268
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:07,920
took you skinny-dipping?
269
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,840
No. He gave me
a spare pair of trunks.
270
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,400
-What, Speedo's?
-They were, actually.
271
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,280
[laughs]
272
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,520
I'm beginning to see
what he gets
273
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,640
out of this arrangement, Neil,
274
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,800
but what's in it for you?
275
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,040
This.
276
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,680
-He got me it from the offy.
-Nice!
277
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:19,720
-Cool.
-Shit!
278
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,760
Now here comes some carnage.
279
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,080
He said don't tell
Gilbert though.
280
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,480
Don't tell him
about the swimming
281
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,440
or the planned sexual assault
when you're drunk?
282
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,280
-Both.
-[Jay] This is brilliant!
283
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:29,840
We can all get well pissed.
284
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,120
Although,
technically it does mean
285
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,400
we're now pimping Neil out.
286
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,760
-I'm cool with that.
-Me too.
287
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:35,720
[knock at door]
288
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,360
-Shit!
-Hide it!
289
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,400
Simon, Will, it's Lauren.
Are you guys in there?
290
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,080
All right?
291
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,560
Hey. There's a load of noise
down the hall.
292
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,120
Sounds like a party.
Do you fancy it?
293
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,360
[in Yoda voice]
Party, hmm? Cool, that sounds!
294
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,440
You know, you're never,
ever going to get laid.
295
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,280
[Will] Jay was wrong.
296
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,920
Statistically,
there was a good chance
297
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,680
I would get laid, eventually.
298
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,960
So, we had the booze
and the girls. Well, a girl.
299
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,200
Now all we needed
300
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,840
to get this party started
was a party.
301
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,280
[laughter inside room]
302
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,920
-What?
-We're here for the party.
303
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,440
It's that posh little prick.
304
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,360
Ask him if he's got
any pictures of his mum.
305
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,880
He's got a bottle of vodka.
306
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,840
Here they are, team twat.
307
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,000
-What's that you brought for me?
-Well, it's Neil's vodka.
308
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,240
We thought we could maybe
come in and join the party.
309
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,520
Thank you, wankers.
310
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,240
Well, that went well.
311
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,760
Um, so I reckon the party's
probably over for us, then?
312
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,600
We could do something else.
Pool?
313
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,680
Table tennis? I think I saw
the board game Risk downstairs.
314
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,000
[Jay] Fuck that for a laugh.
315
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,440
I'm gonna go find
that yummy mummy
316
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,960
who wants me
to spunk on her tummy.
317
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,080
-A rapey rhyme. How lovely.
-Here, come on. Let's bunk it.
318
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,000
Um, I think I'm gonna
call it a night, guys.
319
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,240
Maybe see you at breakfast?
320
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,600
Do you wanna walk me
back to my dorm?
321
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,360
-My pleasure.
-Oh, I meant Simon.
322
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,400
Uh, yeah, okay.
323
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,880
Great, we'll both
walk you back, then.
324
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,240
I'll see you tomorrow,
then, Will.
325
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,800
Definitely. See you tomorrow.
326
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,000
Simon, can I speak to you
before you head back?
327
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,280
Yeah, course.
328
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:19,840
Good night then, Will.
329
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,840
Oh, no, it's okay.
I'll wait for Si.
330
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,680
You can say anything you want
in front of me, we're mates.
331
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,120
Okay.
332
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,920
Simon, do you fancy
hanging out tomorrow maybe,
333
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,680
in the free time,
just the two of us?
334
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,280
Bit rude.
335
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,040
Yeah. That'd be good.
I'd love to do that.
336
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,040
Cool. Meet by the harbor
after lunch?
337
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,240
By the sea?
338
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,680
That's where they
tend to position them, Si.
339
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,080
Easier for the boats.
340
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,160
-Good night then, Will.
-Yeah, whatever.
341
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,920
-Good night, Simon.
-Yeah, good night.
342
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,560
Come on then, Si,
let's get going.
343
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,960
It's been so nice
meeting you, Simon.
344
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,280
I know. I mean, I feel the same.
345
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,240
[exaggerated yawn]
346
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,520
Getting late now, Si.
347
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:07,880
Off we go.
348
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,840
Si?
349
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,640
Come on now, mate.
350
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:19,400
Right.
351
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,520
See you back at the dorm, then.
352
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,040
I'll leave a knife
right by my bed.
353
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,240
Just pop it in my back
later, mate.
354
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,320
Right between
the shoulder blades.
355
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,560
Night then, Lauren.
356
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,560
[Will] So Simon got a hug.
A hug, not sex.
357
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,920
But the way he went
on about it,
358
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,200
you'd think she'd sucked
his foreskin or something.
359
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,400
Can you believe it?
I think she really likes me.
360
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,800
Yeah, I think it's time
to get some sleep now, Simon.
361
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,040
-Funny that she...
-[door opens]
362
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,400
Hello? It's only me, boys.
363
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:50,200
Just on my way to bed,
thought I'd check how you are.
364
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,480
[exhales loudly]
365
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,200
Swimming's tiring.
Are your legs tired?
366
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,240
-I think they're okay.
-Yes.
367
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,560
Quick massage before bedtime?
368
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,440
Ah, tired legs.
369
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,320
[moans]
370
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,480
-Come on, John.
-Oh...
371
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,840
Rub down,
shift the lactic acid--
372
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,360
-Not now, John.
-Oh...
373
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,320
Was that a dream
or did that just happen?
374
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,680
That was your wet dream.
375
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,080
No. It wasn't.
376
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,440
He rubbed my legs.
377
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,840
That's what you get
for leading on pedos, you slut.
378
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,920
-Shouldn't we report him?
-He did get us that vodka.
379
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,080
-That's called "grooming," Neil.
-Is it?
380
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,920
-Yes.
-Oh! Good night.
381
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,280
[Will] Neil didn't seem
too emotionally scarred
382
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,520
by the night's events,
unlike me.
383
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,680
You are all right with me
seeing Lauren later?
384
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,960
-Yeah. Of course.
-She's pretty cool actually.
385
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,080
Is she? Fuck off,
you beady-eyed little shits!
386
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:52,960
[seagulls screech]
387
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,320
Um, are you sure
you're all right with it?
388
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,160
-Hi, Simon.
-Hello.
389
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,320
Haven't seen you
at all this trip.
390
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,320
Where've you been?
391
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,240
Um, just here.
392
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,600
What are you doing
this afternoon?
393
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,760
Nothing.
394
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,320
-Is that correct?
-Yes.
395
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,760
I'm sure you've got
something on this afternoon.
396
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,200
Don't think so.
397
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,680
'Cause it's a free time later,
398
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,080
and as we haven't
hung out in ages,
399
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,960
I thought, why don't I see
what Simon's doing?
400
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,080
-Did you?
-Yeah.
401
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,720
That's a real shame, Carli,
402
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,880
'cause Simon's hanging out with,
is it Lauren, this afternoon?
403
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,840
Oh, right, is that the new girl?
I saw you talking to her.
404
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,360
-Did you?
-Yeah.
405
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,360
So, Simon can't come
'cause he's got a date.
406
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,400
Are you going on a date
with her, Simon?
407
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,280
No, not a date. Just hanging.
408
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,360
Sorry, Simon. I didn't realize
it was a date, then.
409
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,320
No, listen to me,
it's not a date.
410
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,160
It can't be a date
because anyone's welcome.
411
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,840
Me, you, Lauren,
who may or may not be coming.
412
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,880
She's definitely coming.
413
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,480
I don't care either way
if she does.
414
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,640
Carli, it would be great to hang
out with you this afternoon.
415
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,960
See you down the front at three?
416
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:49,920
See you later, then.
417
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,400
Well, thanks for nearly
fucking that up for me, mate.
418
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,560
I just don't want things
to get confusing.
419
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,480
You can't meet up
with both of them, can you?
420
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,320
Shit. I don't know.
I can't cancel Lauren, can I?
421
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,720
Look,
Carli means something to you.
422
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,160
You should go out with her.
I'll sort Lauren out.
423
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,440
Yeah. That's the right thing
to do, isn't it?
424
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,280
Will you talk to Lauren, then?
425
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,360
'Course. I'll let her down
gently for you, mate.
426
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,880
He's going out
with somebody else
427
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,640
and he couldn't tell you
to your face.
428
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,960
He's a twat.
429
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,040
So, I said I'd do it
430
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,640
because I think
you deserve an explanation.
431
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,040
Oh.
432
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,560
Okay. That's a shame.
Thanks, Will.
433
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,840
Look, I've hired a boat
this afternoon.
434
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,360
Why don't you
come out on it with me?
435
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,200
-I'm not sure.
-Oh, go on! Please?
436
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:37,600
All right, then.
437
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,640
Great. They hire the boats
out by the quay.
438
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,080
If you see Simon, best not
to mention I said he was a twat.
439
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,920
See you later, then.
440
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,800
[Will] Meanwhile,
Jay was still on the hunt
441
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,000
for his sex-starved
ice-cream lady.
442
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,840
I don't know. She looks too old.
443
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,360
We've been here two days
444
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,520
and she's the first bird
we've seen hanging out here.
445
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,680
She looks like
she's only got one leg.
446
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,800
She's probably
just got an old face.
447
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,040
Must be 'cause of all the jizz
she's had on it.
448
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,320
I bet her body's
still pretty fit.
449
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,600
Thought I'd find you here.
450
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960
-How's the sex search going?
-Jay thinks it's her.
451
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,000
Ha!
452
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,000
You must be joking.
She's ancient.
453
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,200
Nah, if she put on
a bit of fake tan
454
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,760
and slipped into
some sexy undies,
455
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:17,960
I'd definitely give it a go.
456
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,600
It must be her. I've given
everyone else the eye.
457
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,440
She's like, she could
give you her actual eye.
458
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,520
[chuckles]
459
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,240
This is it. It's now or never.
460
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,520
Get us a 99, Jay.
461
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,360
-What can I get you?
-Cornetto, please.
462
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,920
One Cornetto. Is that all?
463
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,600
-Do you want to lick it?
-Sorry?
464
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,040
My Cornetto.
Do you want to lick it?
465
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,640
[laughs] That is kind.
466
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,280
I've had enough ice cream
today though, sweetheart.
467
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,280
Oh, right. Bit late, am I?
468
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,240
Do you want something else?
469
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,800
Are you the woman
who sucks schoolboys off?
470
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,080
-Sorry?
-Can you suck me off?
471
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,480
[Will] So it looked like
Jay's search
472
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,120
for a nympho
had hit a brick wall.
473
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,560
-So it's not her, then?
-No.
474
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,080
A very old and confused
brick wall.
475
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,800
Yes, a date with Carli.
476
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,320
You have no idea
how long I've waited for this.
477
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,920
We have.
You never shut up about her.
478
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,200
Oh, my God.
What does he look like?
479
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,040
Ay-yi, Permission to come
aboard, Captain Cock-wash.
480
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,960
Permission denied.
I'm leaving in a minute.
481
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,480
You're going to go
on a boat on your own?
482
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,560
That's tragic.
483
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,240
I'm not going
on my own actually.
484
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,840
-Who you going with, then?
-Lauren.
485
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,840
What? After you told me
to not see her?
486
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,000
I didn't say that.
487
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,680
You said I should
choose Carli instead.
488
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,880
Only because she's the one
you want to be with.
489
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,320
Yeah. And you wanna be with
Lauren, so you scared me off.
490
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,760
No, not at all.
491
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,520
I dunno, I think that's
a bit dodgy, mate.
492
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,800
-Let's have a go, then.
-Nope.
493
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,320
-Yeah, come on. Don't be a dick.
-No.
494
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,760
Go on, I love boats. I used
to go fishing with my dad.
495
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,280
-Fisting?
-Fishing.
496
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,520
Oh, come on, Will,
just take us up
497
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,360
to the sea,
as you stitched me up.
498
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,400
No, she's gonna be here
in 15 minutes.
499
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,280
Oh, I get it. He's scared.
500
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:09,800
I'm not, actually,
501
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,360
and that incredibly
childish attempt
502
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,800
at reverse-psychology
will not work.
503
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,680
[Will] All right,
so it did work,
504
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,280
and it was
quite good fun, actually.
505
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,320
Even the locals
seemed pleased to see us.
506
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,320
A-hoy-hoy!
507
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,920
For about ten seconds, anyway.
508
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:30,960
Brilliant.
509
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,760
Well, that was great.
Let's head back, then.
510
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,760
What?
511
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,080
You said we could
go out to the sea.
512
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,240
Well, we can't.
513
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,720
And put your life jacket on,
the sea can be a cruel mistress.
514
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,360
Oh, what's this?
Is this the sail?
515
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,080
It's a fishing line.
Give it here.
516
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,400
-Neil, do not throw...
-What happens now?
517
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,920
Nothing.
You gotta put bait on it.
518
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,320
Please don't muck around.
519
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,440
There's a £150 deposit
on this boat.
520
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,360
Oh, cool, the sea.
Let's get out there.
521
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,800
-[boys jeering]
-Fuck, no, don't. No, don't!
522
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,720
What are you doing?
523
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,080
You are rocking the boat.
I knew this would happen,
524
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,800
I'm turning us round
and taking us back.
525
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,200
[engine revving]
526
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,040
-Oh, fuck.
-Oh, God.
527
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,720
Oh, no. Sorry, Simon!
528
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,200
-Holy fucking shit, that's cold.
-[Will] Get him out, Neil.
529
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,760
Why did you do that?
Was it because of Lauren?
530
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,120
No! God, no. It was an accident.
531
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,040
You total bellend.
532
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:26,720
[pants]
533
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,120
-I thought we were friends.
-I'm sorry.
534
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,000
Shit, we'd better head
straight back in.
535
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,120
Enjoy your swim?
536
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,800
What? I'm really cold.
537
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,160
Like to my bones.
538
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,320
He's going to get
hypothermia unless
539
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,560
we get him out of those
wet clothes. Neil, undress him.
540
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,160
-[Jay] I knew it.
-What?
541
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,840
You've been waiting for this.
I knew you were bent for him.
542
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,880
It's basic first aid. I was in
the Scouts and we did this.
543
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,680
Yeah, that's not all
you did in the Scouts.
544
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,280
No, you're right,
we did knots, too.
545
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,480
I'm cold. Could someone
get me some hair gel?
546
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,840
Oh, don't take his pants off,
Neil, you're not your dad.
547
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,760
He has to, it's the safest way.
Put that coat round him, Neil,
548
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,320
-I'll get the engine started.
-Don't worry, I'll cover him up.
549
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,600
Oh, fuck, why won't this start?
Jay, get that line in.
550
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,600
All right, all right.
Don't shit yourself.
551
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,840
How has this happened?
552
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,960
I think it's caught
on something.
553
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,160
It must be caught
round the engine.
554
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,600
Can I huddle up to someone?
555
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:19,320
I'm really cold. Is anyone else
really cold? Like, really cold?
556
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:21,600
[exclaims]
557
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,360
-Jesus Christ!
-[Neil] Oh, my.
558
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,960
-How the hell has that happened?
-It didn't have any bait on it.
559
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,200
-Get it out.
-It's all right.
560
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,160
It's just a fish.
561
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,360
It's a fucking terrifying
massive fish, Neil.
562
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:31,280
Get rid of it!
563
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:33,400
-Oh, God, it's shit itself.
-It's all right.
564
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,840
Fuck that,
we're in serious trouble here.
565
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,680
-[Will] What?
-[Neil] Oh, what?
566
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,840
[Will] That's only for
emergencies, for emergencies!
567
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,200
-Oh, brilliant.
-Oh, my gosh.
568
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,280
That looks warm.
569
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,480
-Why the fuck did you do that?
-Get the sea police out.
570
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,880
And say what,
"Help, we've caught a fish"?
571
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,240
And we're already in the harbor,
572
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,600
what they gonna do? Tow us
four feet closer to the shore?
573
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,040
-What if it's a shark?
-It's not a shark!
574
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,800
-Get it out, Neil!
-I'd better kill it.
575
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,120
It's the kindest thing to do.
576
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,560
It won't survive
back in the sea now.
577
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,480
Well, that was a much more
dignified end for him.
578
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,200
You just punched
a fish to death.
579
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,960
Now we can take it back
and eat it.
580
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,200
I'm not eating that. It's come
out of the fucking sea.
581
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,240
[Simon] I'm cold.
Mummy, can you get the potty?
582
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,000
[Will] Stay with us, Simon,
we'll get you help.
583
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,360
Oh, fuck! Fuck it!
584
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,520
Are you okay, Will?
585
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,680
Fine, thanks.
Be back for you in a minute.
586
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,560
-You know you sent a flare up?
-Yup!
587
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,600
Thanks, Lauren,
won't be a minute.
588
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,680
Is that a fish?
589
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,840
Yes, Lauren,
it's a fucking fish!
590
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,360
Give me a minute!
591
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:58,840
Are we going to have
to swim back?
592
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,680
It's very cold in there.
593
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:01,840
We'll just row back.
594
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,720
On holidays in Spain one year,
595
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,960
me and my mate took a
pedalo out, we went to Africa.
596
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,760
Do you think you could spare us
the bullshit for one minute
597
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,240
while I try to figure out
how not to die at sea?
598
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,680
Oh, Carli's there. Look.
599
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,120
Hi, Carli!
600
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:19,360
[students jeering]
601
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,680
[Jay] Oh, Neil,
you put a sock on it.
602
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,800
Is it a bit drafty?
603
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:23,920
He's in trouble.
604
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,800
We have to huddle round him
till the lifeboat gets here,
605
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,400
and then we have to explain we
called them away from their jobs
606
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,520
because we caught a fish.
607
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,040
-[Neil] Come here, mate.
-[Jay] I can see his helmet.
608
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,600
[Simon] If anything,
I'm colder than before.
609
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,600
[Will] Well,
huddle in closer, then.
610
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,760
No one better
find out about this.
611
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,120
What? Apart from
everyone over there?
612
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,440
[laughter]
613
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,920
Now we just wait
for the sea police.
614
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,960
I'm worried this might look
a bit weird.
615
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,400
No, it's totally fine.
616
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,880
We just all went out for a
boat ride about 20 minutes ago,
617
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,440
now we've been
dragged back to shore,
618
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,600
the boat's
covered in fish brains
619
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,680
and you're naked.
620
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,880
And Carli and Lauren are gonna
621
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,280
think this is
pretty cool, right?
622
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,440
Oh, yeah. Pretty cool.
623
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,960
[Will] The definition
of a field trip
624
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,360
is an educational journey
625
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,800
allowing students
to observe events
626
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,480
outside their usual experience.
627
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:13,800
And so, in that sense,
628
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,560
Swanage was
a complete success.
629
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,720
We observed my brilliant
Star Wars impression...
630
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,920
[in Yoda voice]
"Feisty one, you are!"
631
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,320
Jay getting slapped,
632
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,360
Neil punching a fish
and Simon's penis in a sock.
633
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,720
And after
all that observation,
634
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,040
we have learned one thing.
635
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,000
Turns out Mr. Kennedy
is a pedophile.
636
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,960
-Sir, I didn't even get wet.
-John!
637
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,080
But some good came of it.
638
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,080
Lauren had to move away
shortly afterwards
639
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,120
and Simon never
saw her again.
47814
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