Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Subs by kinglouisxx
for www.addic7ed.com
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Okay, philosophy book, check.
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00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:09,968
And toothbrush, toothpaste, check.
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Hey, if you're running away from home,
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00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,597
letting your mommy pack your bag for you
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kind of ruins the shock value.
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When you're a commuter student,
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you don't have a dorm room
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to go back to and grab anything.
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Whatever I might need has to be in there
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since once I get to school,
I'm basically stranded.
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00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,194
Oh, so it's kind of like
"Naked and Afraid,"
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00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,112
except you're wearing a cardigan
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and there's a Jamba Juice
at the student union.
15
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,575
I even take a blow-up pillow
16
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,993
so I can relax on the cement bench
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00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,995
by the fountain between classes.
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If I leave my hat on the ground,
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00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,666
people put money in it.
20
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,459
I'm a commuter student too.
21
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,045
But sometimes when I have
a long day on campus,
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00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,673
my friends with dorm rooms
let me crash there.
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00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,383
Well, not "let me"
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00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,969
insomuch they're not
strong enough to move me.
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Come on, it's not that bad, right?
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00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,473
You're on campus.
27
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,100
You got great classes.
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00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,520
You're making money
with your little hat.
29
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,106
No, it's fine.
30
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:07,109
Well, I mean, if it's not,
then talk to me.
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I wasn't complaining, Mom.
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I'm just trying to get out the door.
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Oh, you better not complain.
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00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,491
Yesterday I tattooed teardrops
on a guy who kept saying,
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"Can't you go any faster?"
36
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,619
as the sirens got louder.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
38
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,374
Oh, wow.
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00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,586
Is he... is he going to school
or backpacking across Europe?
40
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,298
Now, no Conner has ever seen Europe,
41
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and it's probably not gonna happen
42
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until we can get there
in an old pickup truck.
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00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,595
I knew I'd find you here.
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00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:39,474
I could smell the bacon
walking up the driveway.
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I'm not here for the bacon.
46
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I'm here to spend time with my family.
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My crunchy applewood-smoked family.
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Hey, what are you doing here?
49
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I need to vent.
50
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I'm trying to put everything in order
51
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,534
for Harris to start
taking over The Lunch Box,
52
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but the paperwork, it's crazy.
53
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Business license, food handler license,
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liquor permit.
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00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,877
You have no idea what the man
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00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,920
puts us small business owners through.
57
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,964
Oh, I do. I run my own hardware store.
58
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I have my own drywall business.
59
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Yeah, I used to manage Casita Bonita.
60
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I ran an Orange Julius in Minnesota.
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Sometimes, it's okay to just listen.
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So is anyone interested...
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Nope.
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Wait till I ask.
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Is anyone interested
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00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,572
in coming to Beverly Rose's school...
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No.
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Oh, come on. Doesn't anyone want to help
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make a difference
in a young person's life?
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- No.
- Hell no.
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00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,084
Oh, I need someone in our family
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who has musical ability to come
teach in Beverly Rose's class.
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They have no arts budget,
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and these kids need music
in their lives.
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Well, I play piano.
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They had to sell the piano
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to fund 30 minutes of PE a month.
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00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:05,352
The first class was the kids
carrying out the piano.
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00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,313
I can teach the kids
how to play the harmonica.
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00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:12,025
It's fun passing one around
with your friends,
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if you don't mind trench mouth.
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00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,364
How about you, Louise?
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You play guitar, you sing,
and you don't have a disease
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from a Ken Burns documentary.
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You know, actually, I'd love to.
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I was just talking to Dan
about how I want to teach music
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now that I'm off the road.
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So we're just moving on
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without seeing
what I might have to offer?
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Oh, I'm sorry, Jackie.
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I didn't know you had any talent.
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Ouch!
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I played a hell of a tambourine
in a jam band
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00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,683
right after high school.
95
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,060
Tambourine is not a real instrument.
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00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,229
Bands let the girl they want
to sleep with play tambourine
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so she won't leave.
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00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,149
Maybe that's why they took
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all the little metal things out of it.
100
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,112
Those bad boys.
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They just wanted to see
this hot thing shake it.
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00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,914
6x04 - Shrinks Don't Talk
and Kids Don't Sing
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"The Conners" is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
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00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,896
♪ It's the hammer of justice ♪
105
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,399
♪ It's the bell of freedom ♪
106
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,067
♪ It's a song about love ♪
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♪ Between my brothers and my sisters ♪
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♪ All over this land ♪
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One more, everybody except Becky.
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♪ All over this land ♪
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00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,091
Oh, that was great, everybody.
112
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,802
Becky, can you hand out
the lyrics to the next song?
113
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,013
The kids are so into it.
114
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,932
This is the longest Walter has gone
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00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,726
without stabbing anybody with a pencil.
116
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:13,021
Oh, this is Ms. Ainsworth,
the principal.
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00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,566
I would love to talk to you
about an idea I have
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for a part-time music program.
119
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I could do it a few days a week.
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00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,614
It would cost you next to nothing.
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How next to nothing would you be,
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right next to it or practically on it?
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Gas money.
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00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,081
Pay for my lunch.
125
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,417
Printer paper could go missing
now and again.
126
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,627
Deal.
127
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,589
Okay, what you have in front of you
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are the lyrics to a really fun song
129
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,135
called "Dancing Queen."
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00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262
Okay.
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Let's hand back all of these pages.
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Don't even look at them.
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I accidentally looked at mine.
134
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,020
What's going to happen to me?
135
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,438
You're going to be fine, Albert.
136
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,774
We're just going to let
the next class come in.
137
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,860
And all of you are going
to have an early recess.
138
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,404
Class dismissed.
139
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,116
What's wrong with this song?
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00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,993
We dance to at home.
141
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,036
I don't know, honey.
142
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,955
But why don't you go comfort Albert?
143
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,541
And remember,
don't turn your back on Walter.
144
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,670
What's going on?
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00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,131
Look, we would love to have
more music for the kids,
146
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,217
but this song is about a queen,
and some of the parents
147
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,928
are going to interpret that
to be about gender identity.
148
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And then it's going to become a thing.
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00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,473
This is crazy.
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I'm a parent, and I don't think
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00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,310
this song is about a drag queen.
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00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,478
And I wouldn't have
any problem if it was.
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00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:36,313
Me neither.
154
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,647
But these kids are going to go home
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and tell their parents
that they sang a song
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about a dancing queen.
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00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,569
The parents are gonna go
to the school board.
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00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,237
And then pretty soon, I'm looking
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for a new dental plan under Obamacare.
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00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,785
If you want your program
approved by the school board,
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I'd get ahead of this.
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Submit an apology.
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God, they're just songs about
different kinds of people.
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Whatever happened to the love
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00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,423
between our brothers and our sisters?
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00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,176
Apparently, they can have
all the love they want,
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00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:09,179
as long as the brothers aren't
wearing the sisters' dresses.
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00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,516
Sorry I'm late.
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00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,518
I had to take out the trash.
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00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,647
This was a lunch date,
so thanks for inviting my dad.
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00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,608
Well, I had to buy him lunch.
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00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,151
I lost a bet.
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00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,653
Overestimated how many corn nuts
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I could fit in my mouth.
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00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,492
I knew I'd feel weird being
back in a school cafeteria
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without being high.
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00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,496
So I brought a beer.
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00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,791
Oh, well, good for you
engaging in self care.
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00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,377
You do know that you can't
drink in here, right?
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00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,129
This ain't my first rodeo.
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00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,506
Ah!
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00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,550
You'll get that back after class.
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00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,386
So I just saw Mark
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00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,721
coming out of the school
psychologist's office.
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00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,057
Do you think I should be
worried about that?
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00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,642
I mean, this is the danger of working
187
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,560
where your kid goes to school, right?
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00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,229
You're going to see some stuff,
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00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,773
and you're going to just have
to pretend like you didn't.
190
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,484
I just get the feeling
that something's bothering him.
191
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,569
And we used to talk about everything,
192
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,738
and he's being so distant
from me lately.
193
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,449
Maybe he just wants
to be more independent.
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00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,659
He's 18.
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00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,577
When I was his age, I was married,
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00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,579
working, paying bills,
and drinking beer,
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00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:17,747
which I'd like to do now.
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00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,666
Nope.
199
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,877
But what if he's going through
something, like, really big?
200
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,547
Or worse, what if it's
something that I did?
201
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,550
Honey, you're a great mom.
202
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,177
I can't see where he'd have
any complaints.
203
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,679
That's something I never worry about
204
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:36,641
because I know your mom and I
did a good job as parents.
205
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,316
Oh, my God, am I that delusional?
206
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,280
What's up?
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00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,532
I'm matching up lids and bowls.
208
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,284
Helps me think.
209
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,785
They're all different sizes,
210
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,496
so I have to try every lid
on every container
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00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,081
to find the right bowl.
212
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,209
Well, shouldn't be too hard.
213
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,961
We don't clean the dishes that well.
214
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,296
Just...
215
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,549
match up the lids
and bowls that smell the same.
216
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,428
It's lid matchup day?
217
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,681
Why didn't you call me? I love this.
218
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,726
Louise, stop.
219
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,730
Never, ever...
220
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:27,609
use opaque lids
on transparent containers.
221
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,527
These are for perishables only
222
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,488
so you can see if something is spoiled.
223
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,655
I don't want to overstate,
224
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,408
but I may have just saved a life.
225
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,456
You know, I'd really rather
just do this by myself.
226
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,542
Ooh, lid day!
227
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,252
I'm in.
228
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,962
I'm actually here to apologize
229
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,798
for what happened at school
the other day.
230
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,965
What's up?
231
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,717
Oh, I was going to sing an ABBA song,
232
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,552
and then the principal stopped me
233
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,304
because she thought that the parents
234
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,722
would find it inappropriate.
235
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,015
Wait a second.
236
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,518
Wait a second.
237
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,062
Wait a second.
238
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:07,857
Last time I looked...
yep, it's still America.
239
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,986
We don't ban music
240
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,906
just because we disagree
with the message.
241
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,074
This calls for action.
242
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,492
Louise, I'm going to need
a piece of paper.
243
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,701
I'm going to need a pen.
244
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,329
I'm going to need
a very large rubber band.
245
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,331
And I'm going to need a brick.
246
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,752
You need to calm down.
247
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,171
They're not going to listen to me.
248
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,382
I don't even have a kid there.
249
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,843
I am going to apologize
to the school board
250
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,761
and then just let Becky deal with it.
251
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:37,971
It's her fight.
252
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:41,558
I saw the group text say it's lid day.
253
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,767
So I grabbed these that don't belong
254
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,935
to anything at our house.
255
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,812
Not a good time, Mark.
256
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,273
We're right in the middle
of something here.
257
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,108
We're talking about music being banned
258
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,734
at Beverly Rose's school.
259
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,779
They wouldn't let Louise
sing "Dancing Queen."
260
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,281
Have you heard all the other songs
261
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,449
the school board's been asked to ban?
262
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,744
John Lennon's "Imagine"? Come on.
263
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,455
It has the lyric about
imagining no religion.
264
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,456
"Lola"?
265
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,958
She's transgender.
266
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,042
"Billie Jean"?
267
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,712
Could be the illegitimate kid.
268
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,965
Or... or just Michael Jackson
in general.
269
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:19,262
"Rainbow Connection."
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow."
270
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,471
"Rainbowland."
271
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,015
Yep, no rainbows.
272
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:25,143
That's just openly anti-gay.
273
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,603
Or anti-leprechaun.
274
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,272
Either way, it's just wrong.
275
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,982
This... this is horrible.
276
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,901
I mean, what if I'd been
a kid in that room?
277
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,652
What if some of these kids
have gay parents?
278
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:35,904
What kind of message is that?
279
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,824
I guess my brick idea's
not looking so crazy now.
280
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,660
What are you going to do?
281
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,079
Well, you know I support you.
282
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,333
But the music program
is really important.
283
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,251
Music totally changed my life,
284
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,171
and those kids deserve the same chance.
285
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,256
I don't know, maybe I'll slip in
286
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,842
a rainbow song later on.
287
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,887
But right now, I'm not making waves.
288
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,013
Okay.
289
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,848
Well, Becky, if you want
to fight this, I'm in.
290
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,683
Somebody's got to.
291
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,645
I understand
that this isn't your problem,
292
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,314
but I thought you were
more of a badass than that.
293
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,985
Way to ruin lid day.
294
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,497
Hi. I'm Darlene.
295
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,374
I work in the cafeteria.
296
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,501
You are the school psychologist, right?
297
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:32,961
Yes. Carla Rogers.
298
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,004
Is it okay if I sit with you?
299
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,715
Promise not to trauma dump.
300
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,717
Everyone says that,
and they do it anyway.
301
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,220
Have a seat.
302
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:45,431
So my son goes to school here.
303
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,100
His name is Mark Conner-Healy.
304
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,309
Do you know him?
305
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,019
I can't say one way or the other.
306
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,813
Of course you can. I mean, we're both
307
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,607
university employees, colleagues.
308
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,818
If you think about it, we both
kind of have the same job.
309
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,861
We stir things up
until something disturbing
310
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,823
comes to the surface.
311
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,492
I've taken an oath that says
I can't divulge anything.
312
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,620
Yeah, I've taken an oath too,
you know, as a food server.
313
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,123
But if you came to me
and you wanted to know
314
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:13,710
what was in the chili, I would tell you.
315
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,421
I think I know.
That's why I bring my own food.
316
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,966
You'll have to talk to your son.
317
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,342
Okay.
318
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,679
How about I say
why I think he came to you,
319
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,223
and if I get it right,
then you take a bite
320
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,810
of one of those carrots you've
organized so beautifully.
321
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,188
My son is not in danger, right?
322
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,356
Oh, good.
323
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,567
That is the most important thing.
324
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,568
Okay.
325
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,487
Is he struggling
with his self-confidence
326
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,032
in a new environment because
his father abandoned him
327
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,908
at such a vulnerable point in his life,
328
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:49,037
even though his mother was
heroically supporting him
329
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,831
through such a difficult time?
330
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,751
Yes! Oh, that makes so much sense.
331
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:58,129
You know, as a mom, you worry
that it's something you did.
332
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,217
Wait, is it something that I did?
333
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,056
Wait, you're just
eating carrots, aren't you?
334
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,560
You're messing with me.
335
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,645
Is that in your Hippocratic Oath?
336
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:18,107
Oh, your little world's
not so tidy now, is it?
337
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,404
I'm free Wednesdays at 2:00.
338
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,908
How about 4:00? That's when I get off.
339
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,745
Is Mark home?
340
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,497
No, he should be here any minute.
341
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:33,956
Oh, but hang on.
342
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,043
Now, you know you can't ask him
about going to therapy.
343
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,754
Well, I'd like to respect his privacy.
344
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,965
That's why I tried
to shake down his psychologist.
345
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,427
But that carrot-eating witch
wouldn't crack.
346
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,639
I guess we'll get into it
when I see her next week
347
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,974
at my session.
348
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,518
Hey.
349
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,940
How was school?
350
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,942
Okay. I was kind of tired.
351
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,529
You seem a little down.
352
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,531
Is that because of the depression
353
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,533
I might have given you
either through genes
354
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,577
or my well-intentioned parenting?
355
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,829
What? No.
356
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,831
I just haven't been sleeping that well.
357
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:18,167
You're lying up awake
thinking about how I drove
358
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,419
your father away, and it's left you
359
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,089
without the ability to form
long, trusting relationships
360
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,841
with other people?
361
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:25,967
What's going on?
362
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,761
Have you been listening to an audiobook?
363
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,889
No.
364
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,641
All right, look, I saw you
coming out of the school
365
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,601
psychologist's office.
366
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,696
And I know it was wrong,
but I tried to talk to her.
367
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,232
- I mean, she wouldn't tell me anything.
- You did what?
368
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,401
Didn't we agree that if I went
to school where you work,
369
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,820
that you weren't going to
interfere in my personal life?
370
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,030
Yeah, but I didn't sign anything.
371
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,118
Look, you always came to me
when you had a problem,
372
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,245
and now you barely talk to me.
373
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,664
- I need to know if you're okay.
- I'm okay.
374
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,416
I just want to live my own life.
375
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,460
All right. I get it. I crossed a line.
376
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:05,047
I'm sorry. I don't need to know.
377
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:09,177
I also don't need to eat,
and I don't need to sleep.
378
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,304
And then someday when I'm gone,
379
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,432
you can just whisper it to my grave.
380
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,144
Fine.
381
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,437
I went to the psychologist
382
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,772
because I'm having trouble
making friends.
383
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,108
And I don't even feel
like I'm at a university
384
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,027
because I'm a commuter student.
385
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,570
I couldn't wait to get to college,
386
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,947
and now it feels like a job.
387
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,866
Why couldn't you talk to me about that?
388
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,118
Because you've sacrificed so much.
389
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,495
We obviously can't afford
for me to move into the dorm,
390
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,498
and I don't want to seem
like an ungrateful jerk.
391
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,126
Well, no, I would never think that.
392
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,046
But is it really that bad
being a commuter student?
393
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,089
Yeah. Everybody's making friends
394
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,175
'cause they're hanging out
in their dorms after classes.
395
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,135
And there's all this
cool stuff in the evening
396
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,386
like theater and trivia.
397
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,513
And I can't join the LGBTQ alliance
398
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,640
because they only meet at night.
399
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,183
I don't even have time to be gay.
400
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,730
Okay, how about you wake up earlier,
401
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,483
and then you get an hour
of gay time for yourself.
402
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,321
Thanks for the tip,
but I'll learn to live with it.
403
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,489
No, come on.
404
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,823
I mean, we've got to be able to come up
405
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,866
with something better than that.
406
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,202
Hey, I'm telling you, it's okay.
407
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,037
When it comes to dealing
with being miserable,
408
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,082
I have a house full of role models.
409
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,126
I know we make it look easy,
but don't beat yourself up
410
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,836
if you're not unhappy right away.
411
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,338
Just trust me.
412
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,465
It'll happen.
413
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:36,597
♪ I'm always chasing ♪
414
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,058
♪ Rainbows ♪
415
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,185
What are you doing here?
416
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,646
I'd ask you the same.
417
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:47,400
But it's not subtle enough
to need an explanation.
418
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,360
Like it, though.
419
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,154
I thought you'd be home
working on your apology.
420
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,116
Or do you need a preapproved
list of apologies
421
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,785
so you don't offend anybody?
422
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,997
I'm not apologizing.
423
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,667
You guys really kicked my ass,
and I needed it.
424
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,043
It's easy to drop the ball
425
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,045
and let someone else pick it up.
426
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,298
I have never done that.
427
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,634
Not going to start now.
428
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,636
That's what lid day is all about!
429
00:18:18,838 --> 00:18:20,349
Oh, it's a shame
430
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,435
the kids are going to lose
their music program.
431
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,731
Eh, just until I'm elected
to the school board.
432
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,650
- What?
- Yeah, I'm going to run.
433
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:33,779
Okay. Maybe you are still a badass.
434
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,656
You know, somebody has
to be on that board
435
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,992
to push back
when things don't make sense.
436
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,369
A Conner on the school board.
437
00:18:40,524 --> 00:18:43,385
That's like an arsonist
joining the fire department.
438
00:18:43,494 --> 00:18:45,667
Who would've thunk?
439
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,252
Why are we walking through the dorm?
440
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,838
I know Aunt Becky just
naps in random rooms.
441
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,423
It's charming when a woman does it,
442
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,924
but when a guy does it, you end up
443
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,302
on some kind of list.
444
00:18:56,427 --> 00:19:00,056
Actually...
445
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,974
this room is yours.
446
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,684
What? But how?
447
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,977
We can't afford this.
448
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,689
Oh, jeez, did someone die in here?
449
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,817
Oh, look who suddenly needs
a room that nobody died in.
450
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,612
I don't understand.
451
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:19,450
You wanted a dorm room,
so congratulations.
452
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,244
You are now officially
453
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,706
the dorm's night janitor.
454
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:30,211
Is there a door number two
on this very weird game show?
455
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,212
No.
456
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,130
But this is a good thing.
457
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,925
Being a student janitor,
you get a dorm room,
458
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,011
you get a small salary for work study,
459
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,304
no more commuting,
460
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,766
and you're going to have
all kinds of time to be gay.
461
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,394
Look, I know it's not perfect,
462
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,312
but it's the best thing
I could come up with.
463
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,273
Well, you did get me a dorm room.
464
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,110
And I didn't specifically say,
"Don't make me a janitor,"
465
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,445
so that's kind of on me.
466
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,407
And I'm sorry for getting involved,
467
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,285
but I just can't watch you be
unhappy and not do something.
468
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,414
Is one of you the new night janitor?
469
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,289
It's him.
470
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:11,085
Not to brag, but I hooked him up.
471
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,212
You have keys
to the service elevator, right?
472
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,256
- Probably.
- Great.
473
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,258
I'm Caleb. I'm, like, two rooms down.
474
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,176
We have too many kegs
to carry up to the roof.
475
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,345
We're having a party up there.
476
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,597
- You should stop by.
- Sure.
477
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,228
The shrink was wrong about you.
478
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,647
You aren't a total narcissist
who is more worried
479
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,232
about absolving yourself
of parental guilt
480
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,651
than solving my problems.
481
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,486
Oh, my God.
482
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,780
Kidding. I made that up.
483
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,991
Yeah, but you did it so fast.
484
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,871
How do you like your steak?
485
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,582
It's great. Thanks.
486
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,209
So what else is
Darlene complaining about
487
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,878
in her sessions?
488
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,338
She's totally victimizing over you
489
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,966
not doing enough housework,
even though it sounds like
490
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,301
you have your hands full with work,
491
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,471
- school, and your daughter.
- I do!
492
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,681
She doesn't think
straightening up is housework,
493
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,183
but I think things look neater
494
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,478
when they're stacked in at right angles.
495
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,896
You're sure she's off today, right?
496
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,147
Yeah.
497
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,524
So she's resentful when I take time
498
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,526
- to go to the gym, isn't she?
- Yes.
499
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,487
She says it's okay
for you to have Ben Time,
500
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,197
but she doesn't take Darlene Time.
501
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,449
Oh, I wish she would take Darlene Time
502
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,534
because let me tell you,
that is Ben Time.
36789
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