All language subtitles for Incroyable.Mais.Vrai.2022.FRENCH.1080p.WEB.H264-FRATERNiTY.EN

I don't really know how to put it.
Do you?

No, it freaks me out. You do it.

There is cause for concern.
We're here for a reason.

But it's not easy to... talk about it.

We're afraid you'll think we're crazies,
if we tell the story.

That's it.

Should I try? Here we go.

Alain Duval.

Yeah. Hey, you.

Shit! I'll hurry, I'm sorry.
I'm on my way. Love you.

Nice neighbourhood.

Everyone gets along,
from what I've gathered.

A quiet, low-key area.

- Nice.
- Yes.

When did it go on the market?

- A few days ago.
- Right.

Here he is.

- You're a pain in the arse!
- I'm really sorry.

- Night visit.
- I even wrote it down.

No idea how I screwed up.
I'm so busy with work.

- Alain.
- Good to meet you.

- Shall we?
- Let's go.

We'll leave you alone now.

Coming.

Sign anywhere.

Here?

The kitchen.

There.

First time in my life,
my house belongs to me.

To us.

It feels strange.

Shall we see upstairs?

After you.

Don't worry, that wreck will be gone.

- It looks like a garbage dump.
- I agree. It'll be removed.

There you go.

It's a little big for just us.

Yeah, I don't know.

Like it?

I like that it's spacious.
I don't know...

The adorable guestroom
can be used for storage.

It has a complete bathroom,
extra closet space.

But let me speed things up
and show you the jewel of the visit.

Follow me.

There's a jewel?

- What's the jewel?
- It's a surprise.

It's down here.

Suspense...
We're following you.

- Here we are, come.
- Oh, yeah, okay.

So... for us, it's not really...

Yes, no.

It's great,
but we're not basement people.

We're not into basements.

Can I show you? Come.

The highlight of this house
is found here.

- The sewer?
- Not at all.

- It is.
- No.

It looks like a manhole,
you're right.

But the truth is, I'm telling you,

this duct leads to something
radically life-changing.

Really?

Really. If you accept to come with me,
what you'll discover is dazzling.

- Dazzling?
- And I measure my words: "dazzling".

Why the suspense?
What is it, if not a sewer?

- Yeah, what?
- If I tell you, it'll spoil the surprise.

And it's so wild,
you won't believe me... trust me.

Alain!

Alain!

- Honey!
- What is it?

Let's go down... down the duct.

I've been obsessed since we bought
the house, haven't you?

No.

Come on!

- Follow me?
- Sure, let's go.

You're going down that thing?
For real?

It's nothing, just a hole with a ladder.

- You're not intrigued?
- No, it's weird.

Listen, if you're wavering,
I won't insist.

- I know this seems odd.
- I'm not comfortable.

Well... I'm here.
Nothing can happen to you.

What do you know?

You're not curious?
Seems like fun, right?

We've got to try new things.

Come on. It's cool, let's go.

Why right now?

It's our first day here, it's fun!

No, with the move and everything,
I'm exhausted.

It's 5:00, get real!

We'll see... later.

Then I'll go by myself.

So are we good? Coming?

Are we going? Let's go.
Come on.

Okay.

- That thing is deep!
- Relax.

Last one in closes the hatch.

- Shut it behind you, honey.
- Huh, why?

He just said so, I have no idea.
Why must we shut the hatch?

It's like a washing machine,
it won't work with an open hatch.

- "Won't work"? What the hell?
- Who cares? Just close it.

- Okay, it's shut.
- Perfect!

We're almost there.

- Take a deep breath, get ready.
- What?

Here we are.

Careful.

Come.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Here.

Have a seat.

Where are we?
So, it's the same house.

- Take your time accepting it.
- I don't understand.

That's normal. I'll explain.

Do you understand, dear?

Alain?

So, it's really very simple.

It seems unimaginable,
but it's simple.

You just need the right words.

That duct...

- What's with the fucking duct?
- Let him speak.

- It's just crazy.
- He's explaining why, so listen.

So when we go down the duct...

When you go down the duct,
you jump twelve hours ahead in time.

What?

You go down,
and when you go back up,

twelve hours have gone by,
like it or not.

That's what just happened to us.

No, but... how...?

Well, you'll see, you get used to it.

We entered the tunnel
last night at 20:15.

- What time is it now?
- 8:27.

There you go. It's 8:27.

Next day, twelve hours ahead.

No, but... my brain refuses
to accept the information.

- I can't...
- There's more.

Okay, wait, just...
jumping ahead twelve hours,

I can swallow that,
it's hard, but why not?

- Really?
- Yeah. It's conceivable.

Time is something flexible.

I'm ignorant, but okay, the cosmos...
I've read similar things.

Why not? I can imagine it.

On the other hand, no,
the thing I don't...

We go down below ground,
and end up above ground.

That's true, that's impossible, too...

Excuse me.

Let me finish with temporality,
because there's more.

You don't really lose twelve hours.

This is the thing
that can change your life.

- If you buy the house, of course.
- What?

I'm not pushing for a sale,
I'm just explaining.

When you go down that duct...

You won't believe me, but it's true.

When you go down it,
madam, sir...

Listen because this is wild.

...you jump twelve hours ahead,
as you now know,

but in addition to the twelve-hour jump,
believe it or not...

Spit it out!

In addition to the jump, something
even wilder occurs, I must tell you.

So, I'll let you think it over?
Call me once you've decided.

But don't dawdle, I have other visits.

I have one serious offer,
and it can go fast.

If you're interested, it's your move.

- Have a nice day.
- Have a nice day.

- We'll talk tonight?
- Yes, we'll discuss it tonight.

Love you.

INCREDIBLE BUT TRUE

You're cute.

He seems cute,
but careful, he's a real bastard.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, you can't even imagine.

He disappears for days
without a word.

I get worried,
and he comes back,

just because he's hungry.

Well, they definitely have stomachs.

Cats can't give notice they're leaving.

Well, he could just not leave.

Here.

Have a nice day.

It feels strange.

It's warm.

Not bad, though.

So this is our home?

I think so.

Crazy! Whose is it?

The former owners.
Actually, I have no idea.

What a beauty.

It was supposed to be removed,
but no one came.

You stupid? Keep it, it's amazing.

Jesus!

I'm really not into cars.
I'm indifferent.

Same here, I don't give a shit.

- But you like warming your arse in mine.
- True.

Fucking A.

Why isn't Marie here?

No, she's here. Yeah.

- She's inside the house.
- Cool.

- Because I haven't seen her.
- No, yeah, she's here.

- Are we disturbing you?
- Don't worry.

There are guys who fix wrecks.
It's not expensive. Ask.

Never will I be part
of your car collector world.

Hey!

- Finally!
- There you are!

Avoiding us?

- I was having a shower.
- Guess what? They live nearby.

- No way!
- It's wild! Two streets down.

Hand me your plates,
we'll do it family-style.

A nice portion, I'm starving.

Don't you wash your hair
in the shower?

No, why? Not every time.

I can't shower without washing my hair.

Sorry for how it looks.
It's a last-minute concoction.

- Relax, it's just us.
- I can't cook either!

Hey, come on, it's time.

- What?
- You know.

Alain, want to hear something wild?

No, baby, forget it.
I don't feel like it.

We decided to tell them at dinner.

Not like this.
We said during coffee, if all's cool.

- So?
- So? Do you see any coffee?

No, but all's cool.
We finished eating, same thing.

Do you see coffee, yes or no?

- No.
- So, shut up.

Don't fight, relax.

- Respect our decision.
- Okay, I understand.

- What does it change?
- I don't know.

It's like at work,
you stick with what you decide.

- Alain, don't you agree?
- Sure.

But in life, we don't have to be
as rigorous as at work.

Yeah, it's all fine.

- Am I a pain at work?
- No!

- Who wants coffee?
- Perfect.

Best timing ever.

- What?
- No, I'm serious. Am I a pain at work?

Not at all, you're cool,
the best boss in the world. Cut it out.

- But now you're a pain.
- Thanks. Bam, in your face!

Sorry, we said during coffee
if all's cool.

So, during coffee if all's cool.

This is complex.
Can someone explain?

Well, they have something to say,

something wild,
but Gégé prefers to wait...

"During coffee, if all's cool."
Got it. So?

So all was cool, but no coffee,
SO No go.

Now we have coffee,
but it's not right.

Oh, shut up, enough already.
Can't we just move on?

Why are you so tense?

Drop it. It's personal.
I don't want to trouble you with it!

Trouble with your health?

No, I'm fine. It's nothing medical.

Are you glad spoiled the ambiance now?

It is. It is sort of medical, a little.
Face the truth.

She's right. It's "medical-cool".

- "Medical-cool"?
- Shit! You're pregnant?

- No, totally not.
- God forbid.

By the way, weren't you two...?

We can't.
We told you, it's too late.

Don't change the subject.
Listen to this bastard!

- Out with it!
- You won't give up.

- You bet I won't!
- Want me to say it?

Go on, then. You fucked up, you talk.
I'm all ears.

- No yelling afterwards?
- No, honey, relax, go ahead. You're on.

- Okay.
- They're listening.

- Ready?
- We've been ready forever, just say it!

So, in fact... it's Gérard...

- Yes, we got that part.
- Nine hours later!

Stop cutting me off.
So, it's Gérard, and...

She's such a dummy.

Go on, make it short,
everyone's listening.

- "It's Gérard..."
- Meaning you.

- Meaning me.
- So, actually, Gérard, he had...

How...? I can't find the words,
this is so huge.

- He had a...
- Stop.

The short story is...
I had an electronic dick fitted.

Great effect.

That fell totally flat.

- Pour me some coffee.
- What?

- Coffee, sweetie!
- Kidding aside, tell us really.

No, that's it.
His new dick, that what's wild.

- Electronic.
- Whatever.

- Nice joke!
- It's true, they do it now. No joke.

Electronic what? What is it?

You steer it.

Excuse me, but...

- How do you steer a dick?
- With this.

Come on... Seriously?

Hey! This is 2021, guys.
You're not into technology?

It's like talking to aboriginals.

I'm not teasing you.
It's just that...

- Jesus!
- Incredible, right?

- So they removed the other one?
- Well, I couldn't have two dicks!

Oh, God, what a terrible story!
You had surgery?

Why is it terrible?
It's not terrible! It's the future.

- A fake penis transplant?
- Yes, so?

- Fuck!
- Wait, it's not a fake penis at all.

It's the same texture as a real one.
It's super well made.

The skin moves, there's a head.

It's hyper-realistic.
Not at all a gadget, I mean it.

Don't picture something weird,
it's like a real one.

But...

So what's the purpose?
I don't get it.

- Well, you can steer it.
- Yeah, you steer it.

You can't steer a real dick.
Actually.

So what more can you do with it?

Oh, man...
It's telescopic. It has varying sizes.

Very hard, a little hard,
soft, less soft.

There are fun functions,
three vibration speeds.

That's for my babe.

- No, but...
- It's amazing.

You can even film
what the dick sees.

No way!

That feature sucks,
you can't see a thing.

You realise that it's better not to look.

This is crazy.
Sorry, we're stunned.

Especially you, Alain.
You're no spring chicken anymore.

Sorry, but it's true.

This thing,
it stays hard as a rock, 24/7.

- Hard on demand.
- Don't worry. Our stuff works fine.

Yeah, but not like that.

Let's be honest, he has a NASA dick.

A NASA dick, I love it.

Not a word at the office.
It'll only make others jealous.

Yeah, and given the price tag...

- And people are dumb.
- Okay, sure.

So that's our news.

I don't know what to say.
It's so...

- Don't you want to see it?
- Yeah, go on.

No, we're good.

Not at dinner.
Telling you is enough.

- Incredible.
- Best not to even mention it.

We only tell close friends.

Wait, it's funny, because we...

since we're trading secrets
about crazy stuff,

believe it or not, on another level,
we have something insane to tell you.

I mean, really incredible,
even more...

Drop it.

In addition to the twelve-jour jump,
something even wilder occurs.

I must tell you.

You get three days younger.

You jump ahead twelve hours in time,

and your body gets three days younger.

Don't ask me why.

Why not?
They just shared something intimate.

No!

Marie wasn't in the shower before.
We lied.

Honey, don't say anything.
I'm against it, it's no.

- Now we want to know.
- Yeah!

We said we wouldn't tell anyone.
There's no backtracking.

It concerns only us.
End of story.

- Really? End of story?
- It's starting to get late.

Come by the shop. You never come.
The new collection is in.

She stopped wearing lingerie.
You always ask.

- Why did you stop?
- He's clueless.

- I'll buy some soon.
- Nice undergarments are important.

Whenever you want!

- Anything for me?
- No! Gross!

Oh, you're a pain, leave it!

- I need to sleep. I work tomorrow.
- Come on, relax!

Your boss got an electric dick,
you can be late for once.

Electronic.
And okay, what's the connection?

- Nothing.
- Explain your logic.

Know what? I'll go alone.
Bye, goodnight.

Right.

God damn it!

Okay, yeah, fine. But who cares?

- Yeah, yeah. But, no, I care.
- Really?

Because he's an old buddy,
it's important.

Come on, stop.
You saw how impressed he was.

Yeah, I didn't really think so...
I wonder if he was sincere.

You're worried if a lowly employee
was impressed by your cock?

- It's not just that.
- Then what?

It's Alain. He's not just an employee.

You wanted to impress Alain
with your dick?

- That's a little embarrassing.
- It's not that stupid.

- Yes!
- No, it's...

Darling?

If you can hear me, I'm going to work.

See you tonight for dinner,
when I get home, okay?

Love you!

Bye!

Yes, yes.

I know, I know, I know.

I know, but I'm at my computer,
and the message...

Let me talk.
The message is about to be sent.

I'm in front of my computer.

I swear I was writing it!

I was typing the message
just when you called.

So...

We're wasting time,
because the more...

...the more you talk,
the more we waste... Yes, yes.

That's it!

That's it. I suggest doing that.

I'll hang up with you
and send the email.

It's that simple. That's right.

Thanks. Glad to be of help.

He's driving me nuts.

Email...

Email... where did I put it?

- Excuse me. What is it?
- Hello, the boss wants to see you.

Gérard the boss wants you
in his office.

- Why didn't you just call me?
- Just keeping the intern busy.

The dummy. Poor kid.

- Got a minute?
- Yeah.

Ah, fuck...

I'm pulling my hair out
with the Jacques file.

Know who I mean?

What did I want to say?
Dinner was nice.

Last night? It was great.

- Did we overstay our welcome?
- Are you serious? I won't answer that.

Is that why you sent for me?

I was wondering
if my thing hogged the conversation.

- Your thing?
- My wiener stuff!

No, come on...

- Was I a pain?
- It's great you brought it up.

That's some crazy story.

- Was Marie upset?
- No, stop it, come on!

I hope not, I hope not.

Were you rather impressed...
or rather not?

Yeah, you saw our reactions.

- So you're cool with it?
- Yeah! No, no, really.

Afterwards, I have to admit,
when I think it over,

I wonder if suddenly now all guys
can get Ultimate Dick transplants.

Okay, philosophically,
it makes you ask questions.

What is "being a man", understand?

Just a sec.

Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Put him on.

- This is really important.
- Take it.

- We'll talk afterwards?
- Of course.

- Later.
- Bye.

Yeah, I'm here.

That's what I said!

I warned Marc, I told him!

He mustn't sign that contract.
It's bullshit!

Fuck!

- Baby...
- What?

I keep thinking about that dinner.

Still dwelling on that?
Just let it go.

- Listen to me.
- What?

So, actually, she's the one
who wasn't impressed.

- Who, Marie?
- Yeah!

She wasn't sincere.
It sounded totally fake.

"Oh, my God, wow!
How incredible!"

Actually, that bitch
was playing me for a fool.

She's totally uptight.
What did you expect her to say?

So, when I think it over, Alain...

He reacted really well.

Your turpitudes are fascinating,
but do you want to watch the movie?

Yeah, let's watch it.

Who is your dick for, me or them?

- For you!
- So come on, then.

You okay?

- You're waking me up.
- To give you a kiss.

That's nice.

- You miss me a little?
- Actually I saw you earlier.

Oh, fuck! The neighbour's cat
came into the house earlier.

It was weird, he went to the basement
as if he knew the way.

So I followed him to chase him out.

Then, it was wild.
He sat on the hatch to the duct.

And he started meowing really loud
while staring at me.

No, it really freaked me out,
as if he wanted to...

...say something important.

- You're bored without me.
- I prefer it when you're here.

Touch my breasts.

There's a difference already.
Touch them.

- What kind of difference?
- I'm nine days younger. Touch them.

Nonsense!
You think breasts age in nine days?

You bet! Touch them!

- They're the same.
- Not like a doctor! Go on, touch them.

You feel the difference?

They're your breasts,
I know them by heart.

- We'll discuss this when I'm twenty.
- Sure, whatever.

Bedridden, you won't be able
to screw me!

I'll seal that hole if this continues!

Yeah, right!

Yeah, yeah.
Why did you have to tell her?

Now she'll tell your stupid friends.

You know what I mean,
it's inevitable.

They're all so sex-starved.
Word will get around!

We said we'd never mention it.

Okay, you're pissing me off.
I'm hanging up.

I need help.
We finally got the contract.

But there are tons of comments,
and I may not finish in time.

Why are you bothering with that?

It's nothing! I'll deal with it.

- No kidding?
- I'll call him.

Fuck, man, thanks. That's so cool.

- How you doing?
- Besides that, I'm good. Great.

Alain, try to get some distance.

That guy is just a file.

We're insurance brokers, not surgeons.

- Yeah, I know, but...
- Don't let it stress you out.

Otherwise, how's everything with Marie?

- Fair.
- Really?

Crazy you say that, because recently
Jeanne's been busting my balls.

- The time we waste with women!
- Your electronic balls.

"She busts your electronic balls."
I'm joking.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, but, actually it's a real question.

Is only the penis electronic,
or are the balls, too?

- No.
- So, then, my joke doesn't work.

Yes! Don't worry,
it's... very funny, I swear.

Want to go do a guy thing,
take our mind off things?

- A guy thing?
- Yeah. A guy thing.

- Come here often?
- Every moment I can. I love it.

It clears my head.
You can't imagine.

You never mentioned it before.

- Want to try?
- No, it's cool, thanks.

- Too bad, it's such fun.
- I prefer to watch. I'm not comfortable.

- What do you like, the noise?
- No! It's...

- It's about instinct, the hunter's instinct.
- Seriously?

I mean it. You asked what a man is.
This is it.

To start with, a man is someone
who knows how to handle firearms.

- No.
- Yes.

- All sizes.
- Bullshit.

No. Watch this, buddy.

You'll understand. Watch.

Oh, fuck! It wasn't tuned!

I've never fallen while shooting!

- Move away, I'm not handicapped!
- You okay?

- I saw him go inside.
- Thanks.

Gégé, you okay?

Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!

I am so pissed off!

It's not a big deal.

Fuck!

This'll cost you a fortune!
You'll hear from me!

So? You okay?

My dick. It's stopped working.

But...

This is a disaster. What do I do?
This is fucking hell.

Wait. How...?

I don't know,
probably the shock from the gun.

Maybe a component got fried.
I'm no engineer, I have no idea.

None of the functions work.
It's turned off, broken, destroyed.

It's stopped working.

I'm in deep shit.
Such deep shit, you can't imagine.

- You can't imagine.
- Damn.

- But...
- What do I do?

It'll be fine, relax.

If it's electronic, it can be repaired.

Are you stupid?

It was installed in Japan.
It's not EU-approved.

No one here will touch it,
they've never seen one.

I have to go there immediately.
Or else I'll die.

Okay. Here's the plan.

Say I went down south, a family thing.
Keep it vague.

- You don't know where.
- Vague, no problem.

Oh, yeah, fuck. Here.
Give this to Jeanne.

She can stay at my place,
I'll be back in a few days.

- She'll ask where you are.
- Invent something!

- Just don't mention my dick.
- Okay.

Buddy, I'm counting on you.

- You got it.
- Great. Bye.

Just one thing.

Can you still see to the Jacques file?

Alain, you idiot. I'm going to Japan!

- Sure, okay, sorry.
- Bye.

You can tell me,
I swear I don't care.

Stop! That's not it.
You're way off.

- What else can it be?
- I told you, it's something personal.

I don't know...

He didn't even tell me.
He left in a rush, it happens.

Forget it.
You're lying, you're uncomfortable.

No, I'm not uncomfortable.

The truth of the matter is,
I'm totally not possessive.

He's horny as hell,
he's free, we're not married.

Why are you imagining things?

I'm a fuck freak, too.

- Thank you, goodbye.
- Goodbye!

Really, don't get yourself worked up.

- Well...
- Why not?

I don't know... No.

All right. Okay, sorry.

I almost forgot, the keys.

You'll come for dinner some time?

Sure thing.

- Bye.
- Yeah, bye.

Here's what we do.

Me, tomorrow morning, first thing,
before I even have my coffee,

I'll send you the annotated contract.

- How does that sound?
- Why tomorrow?

What? Well, because...

How can I explain? I have a life.

I'm not supposed to work so late.
It's 20:00.

My wife's waiting to have dinner.

I hope so, I think so.

So, I'm not at your disposal.

Take it down a notch.
I am the client.

- Sure, all I mean is...
- Listen to me.

I want it by 10:00 in the morning,
or the shit will hit the fan.

What an arsehole.

SEE YOU TOMORROW?

Marie, it's me.
I found your note on the fridge.

The problem is that you say,
"See you tomorrow."

That's cool, but I don't know
exactly what you mean.

You spend your life in the duct,
so I'm lost time-wise.

So, to answer you,
yes, I really want to see you.

Just tell me what exactly you mean
by "tomorrow".

There.
Love you, call me back.

I don't even know
if you have your phone.

Love you, bye.

There.

So? Something to say?

No?

Alain. Wake up.

- What?
- Honey, look at this apple.

Tell me if it's rotten or not,
this is important.

- It's not rotten.
- Not rotten, right?

- Yeah, look.
- It's not rotten! That's fucking huge!

It's not rotten! This is wild!

- Are you plastered?
- Not at all.

But it's just that
getting old is horrible.

You don't realise,
you don't care about your body.

Well, no.

Are you going to wake me up
every night now?

Alain, this apple was rotten
before I took it down the duct.

Oh, right...

Yeah, it's...
That's funny.

- Just funny?
- No, it's surprising.

Alain, honey bun, listen.
Something amazing has happened.

You're too limp-dicked to get it,
but wake up now.

This is better than anything.

You understand? Anything!

Better than money,
better than fame, better than power.

Better than all our wildest dreams
in our shitty lives!

Pure bliss came and landed on our heads,
God-fucking-dammit!

A rejuvenation machine!
Immortality!

Do you even realise,
or are you a total retard?

Jesus!

- Sorry.
- You're right.

You're overexcited.

You're right, I need to calm down.

This is crazy.
We need to stay cool-headed.

Yes, keep your head cool.

What the fuck do you mean,
limp-dicked?

Sorry, you're not limp-dicked.

- I'll calm down.
- Yeah, yeah.

Fuck...
It really works.

We don't tell anyone.
No one, you promise?

I don't care about that thing.

Yes, it's crazy.
A rotten apple can get un-rotten.

We can get three days younger
by jumping twelve hours ahead, okay!

See? How can I explain?
I don't give a flying fuck.

I have other worries,
a pain-in-the-arse file,

an unbearable client who harasses me
all day long on the phone!

It's a lot, understand?

Fuck, we took out
a mortgage with the bank,

to buy this house,
and it terrifies me financially.

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

- You don't even realise.
- What?

We have this thing,
and you talk crap?

- Oh, fuck! Gross!
- What?

So, tell me.

We have one simple question.

Is it possible for a person...

like my wife, for example,
or me, or anyone...

Is it possible for a person to be,

for some reason or another,
whatever, suddenly...

How do I put it?

...to be filled with insects?

Ants, to be exact.
Inside the body.

Living ants.

There... that's our question.

Is it medically possible or not at all?

Lots of ants.

Fuck the apple!
You're hung up on it!

It was rotten beforehand.

The skin got younger,
the core stayed rotten.

It's not that crazy.

- What if that happens to you?
- I'm not rotten!

No, but if you get younger on the outside
and age within, what will happen?

I don't know! Who cares?

- Who cares?
- Yes!

And it's better than nothing.

So, you're okay to get younger
only on the outside?

- Why not? Can't I just be pretty?
- Ridiculous!

You'll be like all the old ladies,
all redone, but old on the inside!

Come on.

You want to check?
Dissect me to see if I'm rotten within?

- Put that down, you're crazy.
- To find out for good!

You're not rotting within,
that's not the problem.

Know what I'll do with my youth?

You didn't even ask,
you don't care about me!

No, that's not true.

- It is!
- I swear, it isn't.

I'm interested. Tell me what'll you do
with this youth, without the knife.

- You really want to know?
- You can tell me.

I want to be a model
and be really famous! There!

- And how will you...?
- Don't try changing my mind!

- Honey, we can talk.
- Shut it!

If I cook something cool,
will you stay?

No! Shut it!

Excuse me,
could I have my telephone?

Miss? Can I make a call?
It's important.

- I don't speak French.
- What?

Does anybody understand
what he's saying?

We're almost finished, sir.

We replaced the microchip,
and the surgeon is testing the program.

You can leave once he's done.
But for now, please don't move.

I don't understand a thing.
I just want my phone.

- It's plugged in over there.
- Yes, okay.

- Hey, Gégé.
- Hey! I'm on the operating table.

- Oh, yeah?
- I'll be heading back tomorrow.

- All's well.
- Fucking great news!

- So, it's not serious?
- Yeah, it's done without anaesthesia.

They just change a piece or two.

It's electronics, I'm clueless.

I'm calling because I wanted
to discuss something.

Go on.

Like an idiot, I totally forgot
it's Jeanne's birthday today.

- How old is she?
- I don't know.

Who cares? That's not it.
I'd like you to buy her something from me.

Uh... yeah.
If you want, but I don't know her.

- What does she like?
- Whatever.

A necklace, some girly thing.

It's the thought that matters.

I just want her to know
that I'm thinking about her.

- Can you do it?
- Yeah, no problem.

I have a great idea.

- No worries.
- Excellent.

- You're the best, thanks.
- My pleasure.

It's fine, it's repaired.

I have to go, the doctor's talking
Japanese, and I don't understand.

- What were you saying?
- The operation has been a success!

- I'm hooking up your iPenis.
- How can you think I speak Japanese?

Okay, ready.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One!

- What?
- Shit!

Oh, no? No?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, how are you?
Funny seeing you here...

Don't you recognise me?

Oh, hello!

I don't have my glasses.
Sure I recognise you. How are you?

- You like the house?
- We're thrilled, thank you.

Actually, it's perfect timing.
I can just ask a question about the duct?

Go ahead.

Hurry, because I bought frozen food.

I was wondering if it's dangerous,

for mental health,
that thing, in the end.

Can going down there
drive you crazy?

Sure, it can drive you crazy.

- Okay. But, like, really?
- Of course.

Like with all good things: moderation.

I love Armagnac,
but if I drank it 24/7, I'd go bananas.

Now I remember, it's in the deeds,
in black and white:

"Overuse of the time duct can cause
psychological..." I forget exactly.

- But I'm surprised you didn't read it.
- No one reads that stuff!

Okay, now I understand better.

You can seal it.

If it causes too much trouble, seal it.

I have to go. Bye.

It goes down by itself.
There you go.

Good.

These should suit you better.

How do you feel?

Tell me.

You won't talk to me?

Fine. As you wish.

I'll turn on the AC.
Is that okay? It's hot.

Now... I never remember
how this thing works.

Not that.

That should work.

What do you want? 19?

19 degrees isn't bad.

Call us if it's too cold, okay?

I'll leave you now.
See you tomorrow. Bye, sweetie.

Do you realise? Look!

Look!

Look! Look!

Do you realise? Do you?

Yes, I realise.

INCREDIBLE BUT TRUE