Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,450 --> 00:00:06,011
( whistling sprightly tune )
2
00:00:11,038 --> 00:00:13,731
Starring Andy Griffith...
3
00:00:13,771 --> 00:00:15,696
with Ronny Howard.
4
00:00:15,736 --> 00:00:19,627
Also starring Don Knotts.
5
00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:26,130
Hi, Miz Burton!
6
00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:27,297
Miz Burton!
7
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,761
She's a sweet little woman,
you know that?
8
00:00:29,791 --> 00:00:30,898
Yes, she is.
9
00:00:30,928 --> 00:00:32,155
Never complains.
10
00:00:32,195 --> 00:00:33,521
Never once have I heard
11
00:00:33,551 --> 00:00:35,786
the tiniest complaint
from that woman.
12
00:00:35,816 --> 00:00:36,783
Have you, Ange?
13
00:00:36,813 --> 00:00:38,509
I can't say that I have.
14
00:00:40,514 --> 00:00:42,419
What's she got to complain of?
15
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:46,080
You kiddin'? Sam.
16
00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:48,045
( makes gulping sounds )
17
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:49,182
All the time.
18
00:00:49,212 --> 00:00:50,359
You don't mean it.
19
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:51,745
Oh, don't strike a match
20
00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:53,800
if he's breathin'
in your direction.
21
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,366
( imitates explosion )
22
00:00:55,406 --> 00:00:56,583
I didn't know that.
23
00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:57,930
Oh, yeah.
24
00:00:57,969 --> 00:00:59,246
( clucks tongue )
25
00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:03,027
Howdy, Dick!
26
00:01:03,057 --> 00:01:04,164
Dick Rinnecker.
27
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,750
Hi, Dick!
28
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,066
He's got his hat on.
29
00:01:07,086 --> 00:01:08,383
Yeah, I noticed that.
30
00:01:08,423 --> 00:01:09,760
He must've heard
31
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,872
on the radio where the wind
might be comin' up today.
32
00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:16,572
I wouldn't wear one of them wigs
for all the money in the world.
33
00:01:16,602 --> 00:01:20,034
I'd live in terror I was gonna
get caught in a sudden wind.
34
00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:25,659
Ange?
35
00:01:25,689 --> 00:01:26,787
Hmm?
36
00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:29,151
Myra Koontz
from the lingerie shop.
37
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,417
Oh, yeah.
38
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,053
What's the matter?
39
00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:37,509
What do you mean?
40
00:01:37,539 --> 00:01:39,913
You're lookin' at Myra
and smilin' funny.
41
00:01:39,953 --> 00:01:42,317
Oh, well,
I was just thinkin', you know.
42
00:01:42,347 --> 00:01:45,330
You know the story
that's goin' around about her.
43
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,736
No, what story is that?
44
00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:48,073
Well, you know.
45
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:49,379
No, I don't.
46
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:50,546
What is it?
47
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,033
Aw, come on, you know.
48
00:01:52,073 --> 00:01:53,768
I don't know. Tell me the story.
49
00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:56,561
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell ya.
50
00:01:56,591 --> 00:01:57,758
It's just gossip.
51
00:01:57,788 --> 00:02:00,322
You know how I feel
about spreadin' gossip.
52
00:02:00,352 --> 00:02:03,304
Barn... come on.
53
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:06,855
Tell me the story about Myra.
54
00:02:06,895 --> 00:02:08,262
( chuckles )
55
00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,526
Well... ( clears throat )
56
00:02:10,556 --> 00:02:12,421
What they're tellin'
about her...
57
00:02:12,451 --> 00:02:13,419
Wait a minute.
58
00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:15,044
Ben Weaver's wavin' at us.
59
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:18,396
Hi, Ben!
60
00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:21,867
Anyways, Myra...
61
00:02:21,907 --> 00:02:24,281
You know, I don't think
that's a friendly wave.
62
00:02:24,301 --> 00:02:25,668
I think he wants us.
63
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:26,665
Oh, yeah?
64
00:02:26,695 --> 00:02:27,972
Yeah. Come on.
65
00:02:37,936 --> 00:02:39,173
Did you want us, Ben?
66
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,390
You're darn right.
67
00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:43,123
I called, but there
was no one in your office.
68
00:02:43,153 --> 00:02:45,228
No, we've been doing our
policin' on the street today.
69
00:02:45,258 --> 00:02:46,215
What's wrong?
70
00:02:46,255 --> 00:02:47,323
Well, plenty!
I'm being robbed.
71
00:02:47,353 --> 00:02:49,407
Robbed?!
Well, why didn't you say so?
72
00:02:49,447 --> 00:02:50,475
Oh, put that gun away.
73
00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,270
I'm not being robbed right now.
74
00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:53,986
I mean it's not
that kind of robbery.
75
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,998
Well, I just mean that things
are disappearing from the store.
76
00:02:57,038 --> 00:02:58,175
Well, when'd you notice it, Ben?
77
00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,292
BEN:
Well, just a minute ago.
78
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,237
I went to get a silver tea set
that we had
79
00:03:01,257 --> 00:03:02,594
and it was gone.
80
00:03:02,624 --> 00:03:04,619
I started checking and there's
lots more things missing.
81
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,484
Well, somebody's walking off
with that stuff.
82
00:03:06,524 --> 00:03:07,532
That's what's happening.
83
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:09,546
Do you think I need you
to tell me that?
84
00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:12,589
Come on, let's go inside,
Sheriff.
85
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,229
Business been
pretty good lately.
86
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:22,105
People have been
in from all over.
87
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,671
Well, you just put your mind
at ease, Mr. Weaver.
88
00:03:23,691 --> 00:03:25,536
This is just
a routine police matter.
89
00:03:25,556 --> 00:03:27,960
Lock the doors, Andy, and I'll
line 'em up against the wall.
90
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,017
All right, you...!
91
00:03:29,057 --> 00:03:30,324
Oh, Barney! Barney!
Do you want
to ruin me?
92
00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:31,890
Do you want to
break this case or not?
93
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,513
Jus-Just take it easy.
94
00:03:34,543 --> 00:03:36,688
This has got to be handled
with kid gloves, Sheriff.
95
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:37,935
I know, I know, I know, Ben.
96
00:03:37,974 --> 00:03:39,371
Ben, Barney was
just tryin' to help.
97
00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:41,107
Yeah... fat lot of thanks I got.
98
00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:42,792
Why don't you
just wander around?
99
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:44,997
Look around the store
while I talk to Ben.
100
00:03:45,027 --> 00:03:46,323
All right.
101
00:03:46,363 --> 00:03:49,455
If you want to pussyfoot around
about this, it's your business.
102
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:55,939
Ben, how do you know this stuff
ain't bein' lifted at night?
103
00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:57,545
You know, burglary?
104
00:03:57,575 --> 00:04:00,767
Well, I-I got a night
watchman, Asa Breeney.
105
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,662
Asa?
106
00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:03,929
Mmm.
107
00:04:03,969 --> 00:04:05,106
What's the matter?
108
00:04:05,136 --> 00:04:06,931
Well, Asa's gettin' pretty old.
109
00:04:06,961 --> 00:04:09,235
I just hope
he ain't dozin' on the job.
110
00:04:36,147 --> 00:04:37,404
How much you think
is missin', Ben?
111
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:39,539
Well, I don't know,
I haven't totaled it up,
112
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,105
but I can't afford it anyway.
113
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:43,658
What are you gonna do about
giving me police protection?
114
00:04:43,688 --> 00:04:44,865
We'll do what we can,
we'll do what we can,
115
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,920
but we can't stay here
every minute now.
116
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,676
We're not private detectives.
117
00:04:48,715 --> 00:04:50,252
But I'm bein' robbed blind!
118
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:52,007
I realize that.
119
00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:57,334
Barney!
120
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,640
Florence.
121
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,890
Now, the best thing for you
to do is keep your eyes open
122
00:05:02,929 --> 00:05:04,795
and if you see anything
suspicious, give us a call
123
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:05,922
and we'll come right over.
124
00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:07,298
Oh, I suppose you'd like for me
125
00:05:07,318 --> 00:05:09,094
to get you the crook's
name and address
126
00:05:09,114 --> 00:05:10,580
to save you the trouble?
127
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,044
That'd be a help, Ben.
128
00:05:13,074 --> 00:05:15,268
We'll have to be going now.
129
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,330
Barn...
130
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:21,393
Barn, let's go.
131
00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:23,108
Hey, Andy, you ever
see one of these?
132
00:05:23,128 --> 00:05:25,403
It's a beer can opener
with an umbrella on it.
133
00:05:25,423 --> 00:05:26,719
Oh. Hmm...
134
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,196
Make a nice gift, wouldn't it?
135
00:05:28,225 --> 00:05:30,380
Yeah. For Mother's Day.
136
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,155
( chuckling ):
Mother's Day...
137
00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:34,909
That way she could
open cans in the rain
138
00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:35,986
without gettin' her hands wet.
139
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:38,270
Yeah! You character.
140
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:40,903
"Without gettin'
her hands wet."
141
00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:44,025
Hey, hey...
tell me about Myra Koontz.
142
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:45,232
( clears throat )
143
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,888
Well, Myra...
144
00:05:46,928 --> 00:05:48,195
BEN:
Barney!
145
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,868
Put that back or give me
a dollar and a quarter.
146
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,736
Come on, Ange.
147
00:06:07,596 --> 00:06:10,389
Sarah, get me five-nine-six.
148
00:06:10,419 --> 00:06:11,586
Oh, I'm fine.
149
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,521
( clears throat )
150
00:06:13,551 --> 00:06:16,443
( humming )
151
00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:18,139
Thelma Lou? Barn.
152
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:20,344
Yeah. Fine.
153
00:06:20,373 --> 00:06:23,266
Listen, this thing tonight,
honey, the movies?
154
00:06:23,306 --> 00:06:25,032
Well, I'm afraid it's out.
155
00:06:25,072 --> 00:06:27,027
Well, somethin' big's come up.
156
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:28,463
Yeah, police business.
157
00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:31,884
No, it has nothing to do
with trash cans.
158
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,919
It's a stakeout!
159
00:06:33,949 --> 00:06:36,114
Yeah, Weaver's store.
160
00:06:36,154 --> 00:06:38,547
Well, they been movin' stuff
out of there
161
00:06:38,577 --> 00:06:41,141
and I got a hunch
they might be back. Yeah.
162
00:06:41,171 --> 00:06:43,046
Well, sure,
I'm goin' in there alone.
163
00:06:43,076 --> 00:06:45,231
I don't want to bother Andy
with it.
164
00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:46,398
He's a family man.
165
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:48,333
It's gotta be done.
166
00:06:48,363 --> 00:06:51,255
Well, listen, honey,
there's one more thing.
167
00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:54,816
In case somethin' happens...
well, I want you to know
168
00:06:54,856 --> 00:06:58,048
that you're the only one
I ever gave a hoot for.
169
00:06:58,088 --> 00:06:59,315
Okay?
170
00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:02,208
And we'll go to the movie
tomorrow night, okay?
171
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,873
Okay, keep a good thought.
172
00:07:03,903 --> 00:07:05,340
Yeah, I'll be careful.
173
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:06,806
Right.
174
00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:31,192
( door slams shut )
175
00:09:02,663 --> 00:09:04,368
( clicking )
176
00:09:04,408 --> 00:09:06,683
( breathing heavily )
177
00:09:22,193 --> 00:09:23,261
( glasses clinking )
178
00:09:25,894 --> 00:09:26,901
( loud thud )
179
00:09:42,053 --> 00:09:43,679
TOY CLOWN:
Just keep laughing!
180
00:09:43,719 --> 00:09:46,043
( goofy laugh )
181
00:09:46,073 --> 00:09:48,068
Jabber me Kazooks!
182
00:09:48,108 --> 00:09:49,554
( goofy laugh )
183
00:10:03,997 --> 00:10:06,222
( rings loudly )
184
00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:10,671
( drawer clatters )
185
00:10:13,932 --> 00:10:15,379
( loud clattering )
186
00:10:41,612 --> 00:10:43,288
( loud clanging )
187
00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:07,217
Who's there?
188
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,332
Who's there?
189
00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:11,257
You're all under arrest!
190
00:11:11,297 --> 00:11:12,524
I got you covered!
191
00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:15,068
I got you covered!
192
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,212
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
193
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:18,828
It's me, Ben Weaver!
194
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,544
They're all over the place.
195
00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:21,591
Where?
196
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:22,708
Andy, I'm glad you're here!
197
00:11:22,728 --> 00:11:26,090
I've been standin'
off the whole gang!
198
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,616
What gang?
199
00:11:27,656 --> 00:11:29,621
Huh? Wha... wha...?
200
00:11:32,643 --> 00:11:33,720
Nobody here but us?
201
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,107
It looks that way.
202
00:11:35,147 --> 00:11:38,199
Barney, quit wavin'
that gun around
203
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,935
and put it in your holster.
204
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,032
It's a good thing
205
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:42,339
you guys didn't run
into one another.
206
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,994
Somebody might have got hurt.
207
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:45,520
What are you fellas doin' here?
208
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:46,927
I thought it was crooks.
209
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,303
Crooks?! There was
enough going on here
210
00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:49,650
to wake the dead
211
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,166
and you sleep through
the whole thing!
212
00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:54,159
I did not sleep through
the whole thing... I got up.
213
00:11:54,199 --> 00:11:56,582
I guess this proves you
were right, Sheriff.
214
00:11:56,612 --> 00:11:59,066
I probably was robbed
during the night.
215
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:01,979
Well, it's easy enough with
Rip Van Winkle here on guard!
216
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,492
Well, actually, Ben,
it proves just the opposite.
217
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,667
What do you mean?
Well, I been studyin' about it
218
00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:09,659
and I believe that stuff had
to be taken in broad daylight
219
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,285
right durin' business hours.
220
00:12:11,325 --> 00:12:13,280
Yeah?
ANDY:
You said there was
221
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,525
a dozen or a couple
dozen things missin'.
222
00:12:15,544 --> 00:12:17,549
If the crooks was
comin' in here at night,
223
00:12:17,579 --> 00:12:18,657
they wouldn't stop at that.
224
00:12:18,677 --> 00:12:19,953
They'd move out the whole store.
225
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,906
You see, Ben? It doesn't
happen at night when I'm here.
226
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,080
It happens during the day,
when you're here.
227
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,377
Oh...! Pipe down!
228
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:27,823
Just-just stay awake.
229
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:28,811
What do you want?
230
00:12:28,841 --> 00:12:30,108
I'm up now, ain't I?
231
00:12:30,138 --> 00:12:32,621
So that's what it is,
huh... shoplifters?
232
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,554
Ben, you're bein' robbed blind
in broad daylight.
233
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:37,120
Well, I'll be dogged.
234
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,005
Mmm.
235
00:12:39,913 --> 00:12:43,075
Let's go, Barney.
236
00:12:43,105 --> 00:12:45,050
It was dark in
the store, Andy...
237
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,366
I know. I know.
238
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:47,893
( mumbling )
239
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,199
Morning, Barn.
240
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:00,491
I say, morning, Barn.
241
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:01,887
Oh, morning, Andy.
242
00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:04,052
Well, you look like a man
with a thought.
243
00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:06,256
I got more than a thought.
I got a theory.
244
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,353
Huh? What about?
245
00:13:07,383 --> 00:13:09,378
About who's been
doing all the stealing
246
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:10,446
from Weaver's store.
247
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,071
Oh, really?
248
00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:13,338
Want to hear my theory?
249
00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:14,655
I sure do.
250
00:13:14,675 --> 00:13:15,672
It's not very pretty.
251
00:13:15,702 --> 00:13:16,809
That's all right.
252
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,495
As a matter of fact...
253
00:13:18,535 --> 00:13:20,231
it may come as quite a shock.
254
00:13:20,271 --> 00:13:21,478
That's okay.
255
00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:23,592
Okay.
256
00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:24,689
Ready to hear it?
257
00:13:24,729 --> 00:13:25,966
I'm braced.
258
00:13:25,986 --> 00:13:27,462
All right, let's play it
question and answer.
259
00:13:27,492 --> 00:13:28,949
Now, I'll ask the questions,
260
00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:31,093
and you answer
yes or no, okay?
Okay.
261
00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:32,510
All right, here we go.
262
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,293
(A) Whose store is being robbed?
263
00:13:37,178 --> 00:13:39,532
Uh... No?
264
00:13:39,572 --> 00:13:41,517
What do you mean "no"?
265
00:13:41,547 --> 00:13:43,063
You said answer yes or no.
266
00:13:43,093 --> 00:13:44,868
I meant one word...
Answer one word.
267
00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:46,255
You didn't say that.
268
00:13:46,295 --> 00:13:48,449
All right, let's start
again from the beginning
269
00:13:48,469 --> 00:13:50,584
and this time answer
in one word, okay?
270
00:13:50,624 --> 00:13:52,260
Okay.
All right.
271
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,816
(A) Whose store is being robbed?
272
00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:55,442
Weaver's.
Right.
273
00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,574
(B) Who's going to collect
the insurance on those thefts?
274
00:13:58,604 --> 00:13:59,611
Weaver.
275
00:13:59,641 --> 00:14:01,496
Right. Right, right.
276
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,521
(C) Who was creeping around
in that store last night?
277
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,499
You were.
278
00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:06,244
What do you mean, I were?
279
00:14:06,274 --> 00:14:07,641
You were.
280
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,725
'Course, I know
that's two words.
281
00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:12,289
Now, don't get
purposely obtuse, Andy.
282
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,064
The answer is Weaver!
283
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,122
Well, I missed it.
284
00:14:15,152 --> 00:14:17,207
Well, play the game!
Play the game!
285
00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:19,571
I hate it when you get obtuse.
286
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,286
Now, where'd I leave off?
"C."
287
00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:23,201
(All right. D) Who
in their entire life
288
00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:25,635
ever got a bargain
in Weaver's store?
289
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,029
Uh... Weaver?
290
00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:29,256
Aw, come on, Andy,
291
00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:30,672
I'm trying to give you
the name of the criminal
292
00:14:30,692 --> 00:14:32,049
and you won't accept it.
293
00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,785
The answer is nobody!
294
00:14:33,824 --> 00:14:35,480
Nobody's the criminal?
295
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,715
Boy, when you get obtuse...
296
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,291
Well, I'm sorry, Barn,
but I just don't know
297
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:40,537
what you're aiming at.
298
00:14:40,557 --> 00:14:42,692
Well, then let me
spell it out for you.
299
00:14:42,722 --> 00:14:44,847
Weaver is stealing
from his own store.
300
00:14:44,886 --> 00:14:46,064
Oh, come on.
301
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,879
For the insurance!
Don't you see, Andy?
302
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:49,774
He spirits those things
out of the store,
303
00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:51,310
collects on the insurance
304
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,435
and then sells
the merchandise besides.
305
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:54,732
He gets double on everything.
306
00:14:54,771 --> 00:14:57,395
Oh, Barney, that's just
plain nonsense.
307
00:14:57,435 --> 00:14:59,559
Weaver's no crook.
308
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,973
He-He's a sharp
businessman, maybe,
309
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:03,230
but he wouldn't steal.
310
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:05,295
He's one of our
most respected citizens,
311
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:07,449
one of our best
church-going members.
312
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,946
He knows every hymn in the book.
313
00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,332
Oh, that's just a front.
314
00:15:10,362 --> 00:15:11,669
You watch him sometime
when we're singing
315
00:15:11,699 --> 00:15:13,165
"Leaning
on The Everlasting Arms."
316
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,250
He don't even know the words!
He just moves his lips.
317
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:16,536
Well, nevertheless,
318
00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:18,930
your theory about Weaver
stealing from himself
319
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,766
is just plain hogwash.
320
00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:27,369
Want to hear another theory?
321
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:28,516
No.
Asa.
322
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,997
Barney... Now,
what we're looking for
323
00:15:32,027 --> 00:15:35,728
is a plain, ordinary shoplifter.
324
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:38,650
Now, the store's going to
open in about 15 minutes.
325
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:40,356
Why don't you go on over there
326
00:15:40,386 --> 00:15:41,782
and give Ben the feeling
327
00:15:41,812 --> 00:15:44,206
we're giving him
a little cooperation.
328
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,308
If that's the way you want it.
329
00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:48,934
It is.
330
00:15:48,974 --> 00:15:50,979
Now, be as inconspicuous
as possible
331
00:15:50,999 --> 00:15:52,396
and keep your eyes open.
332
00:15:52,436 --> 00:15:55,149
I'll be over and relieve
you after a while.
333
00:16:00,475 --> 00:16:02,340
Will you take one look in
the trunk of Weaver's car?
334
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,428
No.
335
00:16:07,228 --> 00:16:09,592
( sighs )
336
00:16:12,954 --> 00:16:14,151
Morning, Ben.
337
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,457
Oh, morning, Sheriff.
338
00:16:15,477 --> 00:16:16,774
Everything all right?
339
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,021
Oh, as far as I know.
340
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:20,435
I've been keeping my eyes open.
341
00:16:21,971 --> 00:16:23,337
Where's Barney?
342
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,063
Barney?
343
00:16:25,103 --> 00:16:26,928
How should I know?
344
00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:28,325
Ain't he here?
345
00:16:28,365 --> 00:16:30,619
I sent him over here
about an hour ago.
346
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,155
Well, I ain't seen him.
347
00:16:32,185 --> 00:16:33,182
Huh.
348
00:16:48,992 --> 00:16:50,259
Psst.
349
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:53,222
Psst.
350
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:55,586
Andy.
351
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,441
Barney?
352
00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:07,835
( whispering ):
Keep your voice down.
353
00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:08,962
Don't look at me.
354
00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:10,428
Just act natural.
355
00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:11,565
Now, stand by.
356
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,889
I got my eyes
on our bird right now.
357
00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:15,455
You mean the shoplifter?
358
00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:16,852
Yeah. Keep moving.
359
00:17:16,892 --> 00:17:18,348
Wait for my signal.
360
00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,712
Well... Barney... I
said go, go, go, go!
361
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:21,999
All right.
362
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:51,015
( muffled sneeze )
363
00:18:07,893 --> 00:18:10,586
No, thank you, Leon.
364
00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:12,152
No, thank you.
365
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,748
Scram, Leon, scram.
366
00:18:23,573 --> 00:18:25,329
No, Leon.
367
00:18:25,368 --> 00:18:27,493
( grunting urgently )
368
00:18:29,338 --> 00:18:31,543
Please, Leon, I am on a case!
369
00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:36,999
Say, isn't that Barney Fife?
370
00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:41,288
Say, it does
look like him,
doesn't it?
371
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:44,380
Except the dummy's
much better looking.
372
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,393
( laughter )
373
00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:48,580
What's going on here?
374
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,647
Something wrong...?
375
00:18:49,677 --> 00:18:50,874
Barney?!
376
00:18:50,914 --> 00:18:52,580
If you'd just waited
a couple of more minutes...
377
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,345
I'll have to make my move now.
378
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,230
Follow me. Andy!
379
00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:01,766
All right, sweetheart,
the game's up.
380
00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:03,731
This is the end
of the line for you.
381
00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,158
What? What's the meaning
of this?
382
00:19:05,188 --> 00:19:06,624
Barney, what are you doing?
383
00:19:06,654 --> 00:19:09,447
I'm nabbing your shoplifter,
that's what I'm doing.
384
00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:10,474
Shoplifter?
385
00:19:10,514 --> 00:19:11,960
Are you accusing me...?
386
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,327
Well, of all the nerve.
387
00:19:13,357 --> 00:19:14,833
How dare you!
388
00:19:14,873 --> 00:19:16,100
Barney, are you sure?
Are you absolutely sure?
389
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,394
I'd stake my reputation
as a police officer.
390
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:19,711
She's the one, all right.
391
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:21,028
A stranger in town, too.
392
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,264
Uh, uh, folks,
393
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,758
would you just go on back
about your business.
394
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,583
Go on about your
shopping, ladies.
395
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,179
Boys, go about your business.
396
00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:29,346
Uh, ma'am...
397
00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:31,192
Just take a look
in the bag, Andy.
398
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,309
That's all you need.
399
00:19:32,329 --> 00:19:33,656
Are you out of your mind?
400
00:19:33,695 --> 00:19:35,531
The bag, sweetheart...
Empty it out!
401
00:19:35,561 --> 00:19:37,556
You mean you want to see
what I have in my bag?
402
00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:39,511
That's right,
sweetheart.
Very well!
403
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:42,493
You see? This is all
I have in here.
404
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:44,957
My knitting... and this.
405
00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:47,690
I always carry this with me
wherever I go.
406
00:19:49,286 --> 00:19:51,451
Uh... a Bible?
407
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,528
Barney!
408
00:19:52,548 --> 00:19:54,573
ANDY:
Ben, take it easy,
just take it easy.
409
00:19:54,613 --> 00:19:57,755
Ma'am, I'm afraid we've
made a terrible mistake.
410
00:19:57,794 --> 00:19:59,520
You certainly have.
411
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,782
What I should do
is sue this store.
412
00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:04,857
Sue it for every penny
they've got.
413
00:20:04,897 --> 00:20:07,620
Oh... please, madam,
we all make mistakes.
414
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:10,073
Sheriff, get him out of here!
415
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:11,250
All right, Ben.
Come on, Barn.
416
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:12,647
I saw her. I saw her
with my own eyes.
417
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:13,634
Forget it, Barn.
418
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:15,240
This is
a terrible disgrace to me.
419
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,308
I seen her with my own eyes.
420
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:17,724
Now, I couldn't have been wrong!
421
00:20:17,764 --> 00:20:18,722
I just couldn't have!
422
00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:20,258
Just take it easy, Barn.
423
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:21,455
BEN:
Barney!
424
00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:23,749
Bring back that jacket and hat.
425
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,487
I was just trying
to help you is all.
426
00:20:34,152 --> 00:20:36,776
Barney, you made a couple
of mistakes in there.
427
00:20:36,816 --> 00:20:37,853
In the first place,
428
00:20:37,883 --> 00:20:39,858
you've got to be
awful, awful careful
429
00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:41,514
of who you accuse
of shoplifting.
430
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,299
But, Andy, I seen her
with my own eyes.
431
00:20:43,339 --> 00:20:44,347
Now, how much more careful...?
432
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,773
And in the...
in the second place,
433
00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:48,227
you never make your
arrest inside the store.
434
00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:49,573
No matter what a person's got
435
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:50,840
on them inside the store,
436
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:52,995
they can always claim
they was gonna pay for it.
437
00:20:53,025 --> 00:20:55,189
But what's that got to do
with the fact that...
438
00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:57,683
But when...
when you get them outside,
439
00:20:57,713 --> 00:21:00,586
and they got anything
they don't have
a sales slip for...
440
00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:02,182
Andy, you want to just
postpone the lecture?
441
00:21:02,211 --> 00:21:04,037
Right now, I just want
to get out of here
442
00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:05,144
and forget the whole thing.
443
00:21:05,174 --> 00:21:06,171
Don't go.
444
00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:09,563
I got a little line
on a suspect myself.
445
00:21:09,593 --> 00:21:11,239
Huh? You've
got a suspect?
446
00:21:11,259 --> 00:21:12,406
Well, who is he?
447
00:21:12,426 --> 00:21:13,563
Is he inside the store?
448
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:14,889
Just coming out.
449
00:21:15,957 --> 00:21:17,822
There's our man now.
450
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:19,448
Huh?!
451
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:20,515
Let's go.
452
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:22,949
Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
453
00:21:22,979 --> 00:21:24,335
What? Oh, you again.
454
00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:25,542
Yes, ma'am.
455
00:21:25,572 --> 00:21:27,418
Barney, go get me
a bathroom scales.
456
00:21:27,438 --> 00:21:29,542
Bathroom...
Go get it now.
457
00:21:29,562 --> 00:21:32,794
You want me to open my bag up
and empty it for you?
458
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,570
No, ma'am, that
won't be necessary.
459
00:21:34,589 --> 00:21:36,505
What are you doing, Sheriff?!
460
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,921
Don't tell me you're bothering
461
00:21:37,951 --> 00:21:39,487
this sweet
little old lady again.
462
00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:42,180
Yes, he is, and I'm getting
sick and tired of it, too.
463
00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:44,185
This time I am going to sue.
464
00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:45,262
Andy!
465
00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:46,260
Take it easy, Ben.
466
00:21:46,290 --> 00:21:47,257
Here's the scale.
467
00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:48,335
Just put it right down there.
468
00:21:48,355 --> 00:21:49,861
Now you want to step
up on there?
469
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:50,918
No, I don't.
470
00:21:50,948 --> 00:21:51,956
Just-Just step right up there.
471
00:21:51,985 --> 00:21:53,841
I don't see
any... reason.
472
00:21:55,177 --> 00:21:57,751
163 pounds?
473
00:21:57,791 --> 00:21:59,367
Wow. She must be solid.
474
00:21:59,407 --> 00:22:01,870
I only weigh 132 myself.
475
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,461
I can't believe all that
weight's flesh and bones.
476
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,027
You sure you don't have
477
00:22:07,057 --> 00:22:10,149
a few other items you'd
like to tell us about?
478
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:13,551
BARNEY:
Look at that!
479
00:22:13,581 --> 00:22:15,257
A traveling pawn shop!
480
00:22:15,277 --> 00:22:17,720
See, I told you I saw
her with my own eyes.
481
00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:18,987
See, I had her cold!
482
00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:21,571
You knew, too, didn't
you, Ange, you son of a gun?
483
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:22,867
What tipped you off?
484
00:22:22,897 --> 00:22:23,945
Well, I'll tell you, Ben.
485
00:22:23,965 --> 00:22:25,600
Inside the store, there,
486
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:27,176
I accidentally bumped into her
487
00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:28,363
and she clanked.
488
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:29,670
( clanking )
489
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:31,825
And little old ladies
ought never to clank.
490
00:22:31,855 --> 00:22:33,500
Unless they're headed
for the clink.
491
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,797
( laughing )
492
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:36,692
All right, come on.
493
00:22:36,712 --> 00:22:38,059
Let's go.
Let's move it.
494
00:22:38,079 --> 00:22:39,046
Come on, come on.
495
00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:40,253
Take the scales back.
496
00:22:40,273 --> 00:22:42,238
Let's go, come on.
497
00:22:46,747 --> 00:22:48,044
A little time behind bars
498
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:52,323
may cure you of your
taking ways, lady.
499
00:22:52,353 --> 00:22:55,036
Well, the Weaver case
is solved and closed.
500
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:56,662
Right.
501
00:22:56,702 --> 00:22:59,195
Try to put something over
on the law around here, huh?
502
00:22:59,225 --> 00:23:01,091
Yeah.
503
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,435
Yeah, it feels good to be able
to relax, you know that?
504
00:23:03,455 --> 00:23:06,088
Yeah, it sure does.
505
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:09,609
Hey, hey, now would be
a good time to tell me.
506
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:10,946
Tell you what?
507
00:23:10,976 --> 00:23:13,050
You know, that story that's
going around about Myra Koontz.
508
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,437
Oh, that.
509
00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,474
Yeah.
510
00:23:15,504 --> 00:23:16,512
You really don't know?
511
00:23:16,541 --> 00:23:18,636
No, I don't know.
512
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,162
Well, okay.
513
00:23:20,202 --> 00:23:21,589
You're gonna love this.
514
00:23:21,629 --> 00:23:22,766
Well, you remember when
515
00:23:22,796 --> 00:23:23,903
that fella came through
from Chattanooga?
516
00:23:23,923 --> 00:23:25,160
Where's your gun?
517
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:27,813
Huh?
Your gun. Did you
leave it in the car?
518
00:23:27,853 --> 00:23:29,179
All right, hand it over!
519
00:23:29,219 --> 00:23:30,247
Come on!
520
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:32,910
Hand it over.
521
00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:39,603
Hey, Barn?
522
00:23:39,633 --> 00:23:42,466
Tell me the story
about Myra Koontz.
35193
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
