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1
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,922
mmm.
2
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,640
well, it's been a long
time since we did that.
3
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:54,840
i wasn't sure it
would all still work.
4
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,645
but it did.
5
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,219
it's like riding a bike.
6
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:10,124
that's been left out
in the rain for 20 years.
7
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:13,463
for a second there, i
thought i killed you.
8
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,636
it's violet, darling!
9
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:20,140
now, freddie, remember, no
mentioning the inheritance
10
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,641
my mother left me.
11
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,145
it's the first time we've ever
had any savings and i want us
12
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:28,876
to be able to keep
it for ourselves.
13
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,544
i'm broke, darling.
i've got nothing.
14
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:34,645
oh, that's too bad.
15
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,417
so what else is new?
16
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,322
don't you want to
know what happened?
17
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,725
not really.
18
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,660
i lost everything
in the divorce.
19
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,254
i don't understand.
20
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,266
how did you lose
everything in the divorce?
21
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,961
you were only
married a few months.
22
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:51,164
well, actually, he stole
it all but this way sounds
23
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:52,900
more sophisticated.
24
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,169
you'll pull through,
dear. you always do.
25
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,719
that's one of the
things we love about you.
26
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,178
any sane person with
your life would've killed
27
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,238
themselves long ago.
28
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,946
thank you, freddie.
29
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,111
but i don't think i will
pull through this time.
30
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:10,419
i've really found myself
on the brink of financial ruin.
31
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:15,155
if only we could
help... but we can't.
32
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,662
of course not,
33
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,598
and i would never
ask you for anything.
34
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:30,134
i'm still so surprised,
stuart, that your mother left
35
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,940
you nothing in her will.
36
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,572
nope. nota penny. spent it all.
37
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,946
what on earth on?
38
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:39,350
the last time she bought a
dress, hitler was in power.
39
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,944
who knows?
40
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:44,253
cocaine...
41
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,657
rentboys...
42
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,662
she always had a
bit of a dark side.
43
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,359
yes, i suppose. are those
new dressing gowns you're
44
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,764
both wearing?
45
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:54,961
no.
46
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,970
really? are you quite certain?
47
00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,337
fewer questions, more make up.
48
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,710
hi!
49
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,043
why are you dressed
like that, dear?
50
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:10,573
oh, it's for me new
job. i'm a lollipop man.
51
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,686
jesus christ!
52
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,554
between this and my 3
other jobs, i should be able to
53
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:18,853
make april's rent.
54
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,450
it's may.
55
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,827
oh, god, is it?
56
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,493
do you remember how
attractive we used to think he was?
57
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:31,663
if only you and i could find a way
to make some extra cash, darling.
58
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,106
you know what i've heard
can be quite lucrative?
59
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,007
a sex tape.
60
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,104
y-y-yeah, i don't—
i don't think...
61
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,479
no, i have my reservations, too,
62
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,644
but it's something
we should consider.
63
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,779
do you think we could
make much money?
64
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,313
only if people had
to pay not to see it.
65
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:55,658
well, we hate to give you short
shrift, but we've booked massages
66
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,166
today and then lunch
at the savoy, so good-bye.
67
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,394
i should go anyway.
68
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,734
if i'm late, the kids
sing, ash, ash, has a rash,
69
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,775
shove his stupid head in mash
70
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,606
wonderful!
71
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:14,011
it's so good to hear
you're doing so well.
72
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,379
come on. you, too, get up.
73
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,647
massages and lunch at the savoy.
74
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,620
that all sounds very expensive.
75
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,486
it's a present. from whom?
76
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,048
addydaddybaddawob.
77
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,457
who?
78
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,671
i'm sorry, dear, the phone's
ringing. i have to get it.
79
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,186
i don't hear the...
80
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:41,635
oh, it's so nice to try
something on and actually buy it...
81
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,143
instead of telling the
salesman i've left my wallet
82
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:48,046
at home and then
crying in the toilet.
83
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,642
once you have money, you really
notice how revolting everyone
84
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,017
who doesn't have it is.
85
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:57,148
let's just make sure we
don't get too out of control
86
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,658
with the spending.
87
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,421
yes, you're right.
88
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,190
so... shall we have
some tea and caviar?
89
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,925
let's.
90
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,594
oh, i do hope balthazar
likes his tiffany water bowl.
91
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,702
i'll go. it's probably
the lobsters.
92
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,605
oh. what do you two want?
93
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:20,113
oh, yes, i am fine after
my triple bypass. thank you
94
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,614
so much for asking.
95
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,081
i thought that was next week.
96
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,447
it was last week.
97
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,112
apparently i died for
one minute on the table.
98
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,453
well, you're alive now.
99
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,458
is this the man you
were telling me about,
100
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,585
the one you said
was a total fuckwit?
101
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,124
yes.
102
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:44,137
i've added a little foie
gras to the... oh, hello.
103
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,797
hello.
104
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,637
is that the other fuckwit? yes.
105
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,643
we weren't expecting company.
106
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,646
i suppose that's because
we didn't invite anybody over.
107
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,147
what's all that?
108
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,207
oh it's just some tea
and stale biscuits.
109
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,150
good, i'm starving. so am i.
110
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,586
two waters and a menu
when you get a chance, please.
111
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,058
hello, darling.
112
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,788
i was just popping by to see
if i could borrow something.
113
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:08,988
what?
114
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,587
a sofa and a television.
115
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:14,226
it seems mine weren't
completely paid for.
116
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,066
hello, violet, why
don't you join us for tea?
117
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,730
that sounds lovely.
118
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,604
you know everyone at this place.
119
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,110
i feel there's something
i've been meaning to ask
120
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,406
you, mason.
121
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,915
you mean how am i
after my triple bypass?
122
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,781
no, that's not it.
123
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,286
what are all those
shopping bags, stuart?
124
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,845
is that from burberry?
125
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:45,161
no. it said sainsbury.
126
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,756
your eyes are going.
127
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:51,467
maybe now is a good time for
everyone to start gathering
128
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,530
their things.
129
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,542
what the bloody
hell happened to you?
130
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:59,443
i got into a bit of a scrape.
131
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,971
some of those kids
are real wankers.
132
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,415
are you all right?
133
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,077
yeah.
134
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,087
i got one of them back big time,
135
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,089
but now i need to
find another job.
136
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,591
apparently you're not
allowed to hit 7-year-olds even if
137
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,685
they hit you first.
138
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:17,356
did you get a menu yet?
139
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:21,765
well, i should go upstairs and
eat that half a banana i was saving.
140
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,098
yes, off you go!
141
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:26,333
ash, don't leave. we're
all about to have tea.
142
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,602
oh!
143
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,077
no, no. sometimes stuart
and i would like to be alone.
144
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,943
did any of you
ever think of that?
145
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,074
no.
146
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,447
freddie's right.
147
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,112
we're not here just
to serve you people.
148
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,519
that's an awful attitude
to have if you're running
149
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,615
a restaurant.
150
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:48,594
is that caviar on
those biscuits, stuart?
151
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,926
since when can
you afford caviar?
152
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,626
no, that's not caviar.
153
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,602
i, um... i sneezed.
154
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,533
it's snot.
155
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,439
well, we don't
want to keep you, vi.
156
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,569
you probably want to get
back home so you can sit
157
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,375
on the floor and watch the wall.
158
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,087
are those bottles of
champagne over there?
159
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,109
why? do you want to use
one to smash over the head
160
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,814
of a toddler?
161
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,550
there are lots of expensive
things here lately, darling.
162
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,086
i don't understand what
both of you are saying.
163
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:24,791
we have told you already
we do not have any money.
164
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,925
i've got two dozen
lobsters for stuart bixby.
165
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,594
lobsters?
166
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,002
shit, this is gonna
costa fortune!
167
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,940
we're going through
this money very quickly.
168
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,606
balthazar's hair implants
might have been one
169
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,581
expense too many.
170
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,621
the nice thing about penelope
thinking this was a restaurant
171
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:50,885
was that she paid
for her own lobster.
172
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,052
and she left me a good tip.
173
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,620
that makes me rather like her.
174
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:01,532
freddie, i have a
confession to make.
175
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,230
no, please, don't be angry.
176
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:07,138
i've put money into
both violet's and ash's
177
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,505
bank accounts.
178
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,941
you did what?
179
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,638
well, i know we said we'd
just spend it on ourselves,
180
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:15,272
but they're family.
181
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,647
i only gave them half,
though. we still have half left.
182
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,345
no, we don't.
183
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,650
what do you mean?
184
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,714
i did the same thing.
185
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,659
oh, no!
186
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:31,289
so how much does
that leave us with?
187
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:36,430
minus £200.
188
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:42,402
so i suppose we're broke again.
189
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,648
you know what
doesn't cost anything?
190
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,659
twice?
191
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,596
in one week?
192
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:13,607
well, we are newlyweds.
193
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,010
freddie, the post here!
194
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,182
you've got lots
of birthday cards!
195
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,385
god knows why.
196
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:37,658
everybody always makes such
a big deal out of my birthday.
197
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:41,861
you know, sometimes i
wish i wasn't so beloved...
198
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,665
like you.
199
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:47,605
i think you're really going
to like my present this year.
200
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,735
really? and what did
you buy me with my money?
201
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,678
you always love my presents.
202
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:57,183
i'm always good at birthday
presents justas you are
203
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,651
always good at
being an arsehole.
204
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,091
yuck.
205
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,122
yuck.
206
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,361
what's this? hmm?
207
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,132
happy birthday, freddie.
208
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,606
"with love from the cast
and crew of 'downton abbey.'"
209
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:28,644
oh, that was nice of
them to remember you.
210
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,651
well, of course
they remember me.
211
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,152
i did appear in two episodes.
212
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,519
i was practically
a series regular.
213
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,354
are we really counting
the second episode?
214
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,893
and why wouldn't we?
215
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,657
well they only showed
one of your arms.
216
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,222
yes, but i was carrying oranges,
217
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,666
and in the first
episode it was potatoes.
218
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:51,671
an observant viewer could
deduce who was attached
219
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,172
to that arm.
220
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:57,176
"attached" is a pretty strong
word considering it comes out
221
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,213
of its socket
about 6 times a day.
222
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,011
why do i expect you to
understand what it's like
223
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:04,675
being on television?
224
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:09,621
the most exciting thing you
do each day is pick up dog crap.
225
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,618
watch it, freddie.
226
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:16,220
if it wasn't your birthday,
i'd kick you so hard
227
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,595
in the balls right now.
228
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,434
hello, darling.
229
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,630
i just popped by to wish
freddie a happy birthday.
230
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,138
oh.
231
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,696
and to tell you my news.
232
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,640
oooh, what news?
233
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,610
i'm a lesbian!
234
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,244
well, you can't be any
worse at it than being
235
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,445
a heterosexual.
236
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,545
that was my thinking, too.
237
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:45,752
and i've already met the most
fantastic woman on the tube.
238
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,556
do you mind if i bring
carlotta round tonight
239
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,119
for your party, freddie?
240
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:51,323
well, why not?
241
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,423
we don't have any other
entertainment planned.
242
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,134
you wouldn't happen to know what
it is that lesbians do, would you?
243
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,729
i don't.
244
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,502
nor do i want to.
245
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,440
hi!
246
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,909
hello, ash!
247
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,468
happy birthday, freddie!
248
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,980
thank you, ash.
249
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,812
why are you dressed
as a total slut?
250
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:14,376
it's for me new
job. i'm a lifeguard.
251
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,047
do i look ok?
252
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:19,581
i can't tell anymore,
darling, since i'm a lesbian now.
253
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:25,756
see? nothing.
254
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,626
when did you become a lesbian?
255
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,637
what time is it?
256
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,143
if you want to borrow
anything, vi, most of stuart's
257
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,612
clothes are appropriate
for an aging lesbian.
258
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,948
hello, mason.
259
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,645
hello, darling. i'm a lesbian.
260
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,551
oh, splendid.
261
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,890
have any of you seen penelope?
she seems to have disappeared.
262
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,895
no, we haven't seen her,
but we'll call if we do.
263
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,430
aren't you going
to invite me in?
264
00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,194
yeah, it's really
full in here already.
265
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,103
looking pretty good, ash.
266
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,613
thanks a lot.
267
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,410
really appreciate that.
268
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,781
all eyes are on you when
you strut by that pool.
269
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,945
you own that pool.
270
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,215
you're right.
271
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,120
you're damn right i'm right!
272
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,284
you're a stud!
273
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,987
can i have a cup of tea?
274
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,086
aaaaaaaah!
275
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,598
penelope!
276
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:38,728
what are you doing here?!
277
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,639
i'm not sure exactly.
278
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,609
i was out with mason
and then i was here.
279
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,180
can i tell you a secret?
280
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,614
ok.
281
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,653
sometimes i forget
little things,
282
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:58,623
but i'd be horrified if
anybody ever noticed.
283
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,593
yeah, don't worry. i
don't think they have.
284
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,096
well, that's because i
usually do a pretty good job
285
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,961
of covering it up.
286
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:12,530
so listen, penelope, i'd
really appreciate it if
287
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,801
you kept what you
heard just between us.
288
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,172
of course, sweetheart.
289
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,938
you know i think you're a love.
290
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,273
thank you.
291
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,610
but that bloke you were
talking to sounded like
292
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,910
a real tosser.
293
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,613
let's see, what
shall we do next?
294
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:31,454
how about a toast to freddie?
295
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,584
are there any other choices?
296
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,121
i'd like to make a toast.
297
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:41,292
what the hell is
this going to be?
298
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,131
to our dear freddie.
299
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:47,139
a wonderful actor
and even better friend!
300
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,141
happy birthday!
301
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,609
oh. that was normal.
302
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:56,444
wait till you see my present!
303
00:16:56,516 --> 00:17:00,647
stuart always gives freddie
the most incredible gifts.
304
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,588
do you know how
much i love you, babe?
305
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:04,919
ew.
306
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,595
you better take care of
my girl or you'll have to
307
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,324
answer to me.
308
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,832
i am a lifeguard, so...
309
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,631
so?
310
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,637
who is this little twerp?
311
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,570
just someone i used to shag.
312
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,646
you know, i'm not sure
how i feel about sharing
313
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,412
you, violet.
314
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,681
ooh!
315
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,950
you stay away from her!
316
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,685
thank you, darling.
317
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,523
he was getting
rather aggressive.
318
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,463
ash, get up, stop drawing
attention to yourself.
319
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:48,023
where's the hot stud now, eh?
320
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,126
strutting round the
pool all eyes on you.
321
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,637
you should have heard him
going on before, you'd think
322
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,971
the sun shone out of his arse.
323
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,305
it was sickening.
324
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:01,211
i'll go get your present now.
325
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:06,048
ash, would you pass me
that large card over there?
326
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,552
that hurt.
327
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,649
oh, it's from the cast and
crew of "downton abbey"!
328
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,170
i was just about to
tell you not to read it.
329
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,631
now everybody knows.
i'm completely mortified.
330
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,600
they sent you a card for
being on the show once?
331
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,295
i was on the show twice.
332
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,099
i was practically
a series regular.
333
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:27,106
oh, yes, the oranges.
334
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,438
how could i forget?
335
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:32,603
didn't your arm get
nominated for a bafta?
336
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,939
don't be such a dick.
337
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,609
here it is!
338
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,984
happy birthday, freddie!
339
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,860
oh, it's a photo album.
340
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,559
oh, not any photo album.
341
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,627
each page is a photo of every
birthday of yours that we've
342
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,035
spent together.
343
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,539
oh, i see.
344
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,576
so if i flip through this
really fast, i can age 50 years
345
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,078
in 3 seconds.
346
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,613
how charming.
347
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,149
oh, stuart, what a
thoughtful present.
348
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:13,186
we should do
something like that, babe.
349
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,585
well, we've only known
each other two hours,
350
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,454
but all right, darling.
351
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,856
the last page is blank.
352
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,257
yeah, well, that's for today.
353
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,660
i want to get a picture of all
of us together to put there.
354
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:27,496
you swear you'll never leave me.
355
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:31,367
scout's honor, darling.
356
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:34,202
would you mind terribly
popping out and getting me
357
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:35,605
some ciggies?
358
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,576
i'm on it, babe. right.
359
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:43,913
you stay away from her,
or i'll rip your tiny arms off!
360
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,576
ok, ok.
361
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:56,489
like i'm scared of her.
362
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,428
is she still there?
363
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:01,592
not such a big man without
your mirror, are you?
364
00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:08,597
well, i think it's finally
over with carlotta.
365
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,405
i tried but something's missing.
366
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:12,604
a penis?
367
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,116
i think she has one of those.
368
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,657
at least you gave it a good go.
369
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,819
come on, let's all
gather round for a photo.
370
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,125
mason, why don't
you take the picture?
371
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,431
but if i take the picture,
then i won't be in it.
372
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,129
that's ok.
373
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,665
yep, yep.
374
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,144
you all look like shit.
375
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:50,273
well, what do you
think of my present?
376
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:51,681
it's very nice.
377
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,652
on a scale of 1 to 10?
378
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,347
oh, i don't know.
379
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,686
if you had to pick.
but i don't have to pick.
380
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,468
oh, i don't like
where this is heading.
381
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,358
come on, pick!
382
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,123
3, 4, somewhere in there.
383
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,629
oh!
384
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,495
ash, watch your drink.
385
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:09,228
it's very close to my
"downton abbey" birthday card.
386
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:13,671
maggie smith picked that
out for me... probably.
387
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:17,141
i spent months on that
present. all you can do is
388
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,144
talk about that stupid card!
389
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,840
i don't understand. you
always love my presents.
390
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,645
no, you always
love your presents.
391
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:28,051
then why have you
always acted like you did?
392
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,486
oh, i don't know.
393
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:32,650
i suppose because i can see
how much it means to you.
394
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,661
i think that could be the
sweetest thing you've ever
395
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,663
said to me.
396
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:43,226
ugh! two men
kissing. it's unnatural.
397
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,668
but, mason. hmm?
398
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,137
aren't you gay?
399
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:52,408
yes. what's your point?
400
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,344
nothing.
401
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:55,711
should we have cake now?
402
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,181
ooh!
403
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:58,683
i hope someone started lighting
404
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,344
the candles yesterday.
405
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:07,459
that was nasty.
406
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,621
sorry. i'm not
having a great day.
407
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:13,789
nobody answer that.
408
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,095
i've got your smokes, babe!
409
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:22,231
babe?!
410
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:25,642
how long are we
going to stay like this?
411
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,010
as long as we have to.
412
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:34,983
well, that was a
wonderful evening.
413
00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:38,684
thank you for a
lovely birthday, stuart.
414
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:41,158
and vi? yes?
415
00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:42,627
why are you still here?
416
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,994
i'm giving carlotta
the evening to move her
417
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:47,294
things out.
418
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,664
she was living with you?!
419
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:51,294
lesbians move quickly, darling.
420
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,498
well, i'm going to turn in.
421
00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:55,040
night, all.
422
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,667
goodnight, balthazar.
423
00:22:57,743 --> 00:23:02,113
oh, and stuart, would you take
my card to be framed tomorrow?
424
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:04,616
i want to hang it where
i can see it every day.
425
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,584
of course.
426
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:11,115
well... i guess it turns
out you don't get freddie
427
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:13,182
the perfect gift after all.
428
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,956
oh, yes, i do.
429
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:18,088
i sent him that card.
430
00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:28,003
i was thinking of
getting a face-lift.
431
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,413
what do you think, vi?
432
00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:38,747
that's not my cup of tea.
433
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:42,219
well, excuse me for
wanting to improve myself!
434
00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:44,655
if anybody's going to get
a face-lift around here,
435
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:46,692
it should be you!
436
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:51,163
i meant that's not
my cup of tea. that is.
437
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:52,630
oh.
438
00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:59,630
you look great, by the way.
439
00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:04,108
oh, i'm worried about balthazar.
440
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:08,011
he just sneezed
and 3 teeth fell out.
441
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,605
oh, that's perfectly normal.
442
00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:12,584
i did the same thing yesterday.
443
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:15,120
do you know, boys, i
was considering taking
444
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:17,179
a trip to italy.
445
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,485
what do you think?
446
00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,116
oh, now's not a
good time, violet.
447
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:21,956
we've got so much coming up.
448
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,359
like what?
449
00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:27,491
well, i... i can't think of
anything at the moment,
450
00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:29,865
but we might need
you for something.
451
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:33,128
well, thanks for asking,
vi, but we'd prefer you
452
00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:34,730
to stay in town.
453
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,901
we'll check our diary
and get back to you.
454
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,104
oh, alright.
455
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:40,305
hi!
456
00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:41,506
hello, ash.
457
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:42,843
hello, ash!
458
00:24:42,915 --> 00:24:44,645
i've got some really big news!
459
00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:47,482
oh, come in, sit down.
460
00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:49,249
here, can i get you a drink?
461
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:52,257
we have water or tea.
462
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:55,522
actually only tea,
the tap's just broken.
463
00:24:55,594 --> 00:24:57,153
that's empty.
464
00:24:57,229 --> 00:24:59,664
we have nothing.
465
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:01,291
i'm good, thanks.
466
00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:03,029
so what's your news, darling?
467
00:25:03,102 --> 00:25:05,662
i'm going to university!
468
00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:08,105
oh, that is fantastic!
469
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,369
congratulations, ash!
470
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:12,741
i was wondering when you
were going to do something
471
00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:15,110
with your life.
472
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,876
i didn't want you
to end up like...
473
00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:24,585
please tell me you're
having a stroke.
474
00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:32,098
i could even help you with
your homework, darling.
475
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:34,133
i've always been
very good at maths.
476
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,225
that's the one with
all the numbers, right?
477
00:25:36,301 --> 00:25:38,532
actually, i won't be
going to uni nearby.
478
00:25:38,604 --> 00:25:39,799
what do you mean?
479
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:42,671
well, you remember how
both my parents are in prison?
480
00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:44,471
yeah, we remember.
481
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:47,775
that is something that
tends to stick with you.
482
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:52,580
well, i applied for a grant
in the states and i got it!
483
00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:54,643
apparently i qualify
as a special needs case
484
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,155
because both my parents are
incarcerated for violent crimes.
485
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,417
isn't that great?
486
00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:01,085
the states? the united states?
487
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,594
that place over there?
488
00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:03,856
yeah.
489
00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:07,627
but it's filled with americans.
490
00:26:10,369 --> 00:26:12,395
i dated one once.
491
00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:15,441
they can be quite peculiar.
492
00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:18,067
they actually have sex sober.
493
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,647
i applied ages ago.
494
00:26:24,716 --> 00:26:26,327
i didn't even think i
was going to get it,
495
00:26:26,351 --> 00:26:28,616
but luckily both my parents
are both serving sentences
496
00:26:28,687 --> 00:26:30,747
for manslaughter,
so that helped a lot.
497
00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:33,054
so, where's the
university, darling?
498
00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:35,492
- it's in new york.
- new york?
499
00:26:35,561 --> 00:26:37,029
well, now, i forget.
500
00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:39,656
is that supposed to have
the best of the americans
501
00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:41,063
or the worst?
502
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:43,261
i think both.
503
00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:46,032
and the grant
is for all 4 years!
504
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,471
4 years?!
505
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:50,099
oh, i see.
506
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:53,145
if that's what you want to do...
507
00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:55,704
yes, it's your decision.
508
00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:58,148
it's nothing to do with us.
509
00:26:58,217 --> 00:26:59,651
i—i mean, i'm
510
00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:01,778
not definitely taking it yet.
511
00:27:01,854 --> 00:27:03,482
oh, so it's not definite, then?
512
00:27:03,555 --> 00:27:05,615
well, no, i guess...
513
00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:08,092
you do whatever
you want. it's really
514
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,595
none of our business.
515
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:14,064
we actually are pretty
busy today, so, uh...
516
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:20,606
oh, ok, um...
517
00:27:20,672 --> 00:27:22,664
i should go anyway.
518
00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:26,141
congratulations again, ash.
519
00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:27,770
thanks, violet.
520
00:27:31,683 --> 00:27:34,812
you don't suppose he's
ever given his parents
521
00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:36,583
our address, do you?
522
00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:41,584
if he has, we're
as good as dead.
523
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:46,174
mum, sorry i can't hear you.
there's a lot of screaming
524
00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:47,962
in the background.
525
00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:49,934
is there a prison riot going on?
526
00:27:51,637 --> 00:27:56,132
oh, somebody's brought in
some free chicken from kfc?
527
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,643
no, no, no, you go.
528
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:00,269
enjoy.
529
00:28:01,647 --> 00:28:03,548
yeah, i'll talk to
you next month.
530
00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,585
ahem. violet.
531
00:28:07,653 --> 00:28:09,087
hello, darling.
532
00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:12,090
come in, sit. can
i get you a drink?
533
00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:15,457
oh, only if you're having
one, otherwise nothing for me.
534
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,927
i'm not.
535
00:28:16,995 --> 00:28:19,555
oh, i still want one.
i'll have one, too.
536
00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:26,162
darling, there's something
i want to talk to you about.
537
00:28:27,673 --> 00:28:29,608
this is about
new york, isn't it?
538
00:28:29,675 --> 00:28:31,610
yes.
539
00:28:31,677 --> 00:28:34,237
why is the bottle all
the way over there?
540
00:28:39,184 --> 00:28:40,675
don't worry.
541
00:28:40,752 --> 00:28:42,618
i've decided i'm not going.
542
00:28:42,688 --> 00:28:43,951
what do you mean?
543
00:28:44,022 --> 00:28:45,354
well, i saw how...
544
00:28:45,424 --> 00:28:46,756
both bottles, no?
545
00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:53,630
i saw how freddie and stuart
reacted when they found out
546
00:28:53,699 --> 00:28:56,134
how far away i was going
to be and i realized i couldn't
547
00:28:56,201 --> 00:28:57,692
leave them.
548
00:28:57,769 --> 00:28:59,761
oh, ash...
549
00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:02,239
i want to be there
for them, violet.
550
00:29:02,307 --> 00:29:05,175
besides, it was stupid
to think that i could make
551
00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:06,872
a life for myself in new york.
552
00:29:06,945 --> 00:29:08,573
no, it wasn't.
553
00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:11,515
but i thought you wanted to
talk to me to get me to stay.
554
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,949
quite the opposite.
555
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,714
i'm here to make sure you go.
556
00:29:16,788 --> 00:29:18,017
i don't understand.
557
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:23,051
listen, darling, don't you
know how special you are?
558
00:29:24,663 --> 00:29:26,063
no.
559
00:29:28,667 --> 00:29:31,535
nobody's ever said
that i was special before.
560
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,469
oh, but you are, ash.
561
00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:37,236
that's why we all
love you so much.
562
00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:40,404
that's why freddie and
stuart don't want you to leave.
563
00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:43,108
they want to keep the
things they love the most
564
00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:45,309
closest to them.
565
00:29:45,384 --> 00:29:47,161
that's why i've never
moved further than a few
566
00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:50,622
streets away...
567
00:29:50,689 --> 00:29:53,659
in over 50 years.
568
00:29:53,725 --> 00:29:55,819
and i don't want you
to end up like that.
569
00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:58,830
maybe i don't want to go.
570
00:29:58,897 --> 00:30:00,627
maybe i want to stay
here with all of you.
571
00:30:00,699 --> 00:30:01,928
no, you can't stay with us.
572
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,131
you have your whole
life waiting for you.
573
00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:12,701
ooh, you're gonna be
something so marvelous, ash.
574
00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:14,610
promise me you'll go.
575
00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:19,282
you must promise me.
576
00:30:25,223 --> 00:30:26,885
i'm sorry.
577
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:30,861
good. very good.
578
00:30:30,929 --> 00:30:32,921
now, shall we get blind drunk?
579
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,626
i'd like that.
580
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,572
let's see...
581
00:30:43,642 --> 00:30:48,342
i've packed him extra socks,
um, a thick jumper because it
582
00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:51,679
gets cold over there,
and i baked him his favorite
583
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:53,184
biscuits for the plane.
584
00:30:53,251 --> 00:30:54,947
perfect.
585
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:59,253
this way he can use them as
weapons if he gets mugged.
586
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:02,123
did you hide the extra cash
in there for him, stuart?
587
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:03,389
uh, y-yes, i did.
588
00:31:03,462 --> 00:31:04,725
and the scarf i knitted?
589
00:31:04,796 --> 00:31:07,595
you only gave me a ball of wool.
590
00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,635
i kept meaning to
get round to it.
591
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,182
i don't know why you're
both dithering about like
592
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,640
2 monkeys on crack.
593
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:18,973
ash is moving. i mean,
it's not that big a deal.
594
00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:20,512
oh, freddie...
595
00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:24,313
that's him.
596
00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,284
freddie, you know
it's all right to...
597
00:31:26,351 --> 00:31:28,650
vi, please.
598
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,655
hi.
599
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,623
hello, ash.
600
00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:37,619
hi, freddie. hello.
601
00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:40,657
all set, darling?
602
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,098
i think so.
603
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:43,931
come, sit. have some tea.
604
00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:45,561
i don't think i've got time.
605
00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:47,162
my flight leaves in a few hours.
606
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:48,673
oh.
607
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:52,177
well, we've, uh, packed
you a small bag with some
608
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,179
of the things we
thought you might need.
609
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,612
didn't we, freddie?
610
00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,440
you didn't have to do that.
611
00:31:58,517 --> 00:32:01,385
and i knitted you a scarf.
612
00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:03,115
ooh, let me take a look at it.
613
00:32:03,188 --> 00:32:05,089
oh, look at it in new york.
614
00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:10,594
well...
615
00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:14,095
i guess this is good-bye.
616
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:17,066
violet, i don't know what...
617
00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:21,231
oh, come now. we're gonna
see each other all the time.
618
00:32:21,306 --> 00:32:22,535
yeah.
619
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:26,135
i'll go to america.
you'll come visit.
620
00:32:26,211 --> 00:32:27,736
it'll be just like always.
621
00:32:27,813 --> 00:32:29,179
right.
622
00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:31,546
so, it's not really
good-bye at all, is it?
623
00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:34,245
no, i guess not.
624
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:35,617
of course not.
625
00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:46,862
good-bye.
626
00:32:46,932 --> 00:32:48,901
have you got your passport?
627
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,664
and your tickets?
628
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:54,171
and your papers
for the university?
629
00:32:54,239 --> 00:32:55,468
and your... and...
630
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:58,635
yes, i've got everything.
631
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,082
thank you, stuart.
632
00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:09,885
freddie?
633
00:33:12,891 --> 00:33:14,450
best of luck, ash.
634
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,327
right.
635
00:33:18,396 --> 00:33:19,830
thanks.
636
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,463
ok.
637
00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:25,697
well, i guess this is it.
638
00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:28,137
i'll see you soon, darling.
639
00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:30,539
it'll be like you never left.
640
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:32,510
yeah.
641
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,239
like i never left.
642
00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:38,609
bye.
643
00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:48,659
what now?
644
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:56,361
i don't know about you two,
but i've decided to go to italy.
645
00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,063
oh?
646
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:00,935
i'm glad.
647
00:34:01,006 --> 00:34:03,566
well, now that that's
all over shall we...
648
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,606
well...
649
00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:47,182
freddie, tea!
650
00:34:47,252 --> 00:34:51,656
how is it your voice is
getting higher pitched?
651
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:54,124
soon only dogs will
be able to hear it.
652
00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:58,662
i see you took your
fucking bitch pills before
653
00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:00,130
going to sleep.
654
00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:07,468
i'm sorry.
655
00:35:07,539 --> 00:35:12,603
this christmas radio drama i'm
recording today with dame eileen atkins
656
00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:15,112
has got my nerves a bit frayed.
657
00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:19,584
and she has done so many
extraordinary things...
658
00:35:21,186 --> 00:35:23,678
none of which i can think
of at the moment, um...
659
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:25,553
well, of course you're nervous.
660
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:28,423
you did get the part
at the very last minute.
661
00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:31,622
i found out from my agent
that was because i wasn't their
662
00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:33,289
first choice.
663
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:35,596
you were their second choice?
664
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:39,203
third?
665
00:35:39,270 --> 00:35:41,637
uh... 36th.
666
00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:47,370
i didn't even think there were
35 actors of your age still alive.
667
00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,609
there aren't. most of them
turned it down because they're dead.
668
00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:53,642
hello, darling!
669
00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:56,552
i've been out christmas
shopping all day.
670
00:35:56,621 --> 00:35:59,022
oh! and who are all
the presents for?
671
00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:01,082
me.
672
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,560
hello, vi. you look...
673
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,133
hello, vi.
674
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:11,601
so, darling, a radio
drama with eileen atkins
675
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,161
for christmas.
676
00:36:13,238 --> 00:36:14,638
how thrilling.
677
00:36:14,706 --> 00:36:16,174
what's the role?
678
00:36:16,241 --> 00:36:20,576
an old man who has
never made much of his life.
679
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,676
i didn't have to look
far for inspiration.
680
00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:31,680
he was their 36th choice!
681
00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:36,321
so who's eileen atkins playing?
682
00:36:36,394 --> 00:36:38,954
i don't know. i've
just read my part.
683
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:42,133
hi.
684
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,828
hello. can i help you?
685
00:36:43,902 --> 00:36:46,133
i just wanted to
introduce myself. i'm oliver.
686
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:47,638
i'm renting the flat upstairs.
687
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:50,642
i'm stuart. this is my
husband freddie and this is
688
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,143
our friend violet.
689
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,372
hello, darling.
690
00:36:54,446 --> 00:36:56,642
would you...
691
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,150
oh. well, it was a
pleasure meeting you.
692
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,550
thanks for dropping by, oliver.
693
00:37:04,155 --> 00:37:05,589
ooh, he seemed nice.
694
00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:07,523
yes.
695
00:37:10,095 --> 00:37:12,087
i should be off.
696
00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:14,564
don't want to keep
the dame waiting.
697
00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:22,073
you know, i'm going to take my
"downton abbey" birthday card
698
00:37:22,140 --> 00:37:23,972
to show her.
699
00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:27,877
let her know that
i'm somebody, too.
700
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:38,485
sometimes he breaks my heart.
701
00:37:38,556 --> 00:37:44,120
freddie, as albert: my, you certainly
love your rocking chair, rosemary.
702
00:37:49,334 --> 00:37:50,700
eileen, as rosemary:
i do, albert.
703
00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:53,864
almost as much as our cat.
704
00:37:55,707 --> 00:37:59,644
rosemary, a car is pulling up!
705
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:07,084
i can't tell who
it is, rosemary.
706
00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:08,586
wait.
707
00:38:08,653 --> 00:38:10,588
can it be?
708
00:38:10,655 --> 00:38:12,089
is it?
709
00:38:13,491 --> 00:38:17,587
i got so emotional i knocked
the vase that was on this
710
00:38:17,662 --> 00:38:19,654
table over.
711
00:38:19,731 --> 00:38:21,962
that's what that sound was.
712
00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:25,060
i'm going to open the
door and see who it is.
713
00:38:26,437 --> 00:38:28,133
oh, albert!
714
00:38:28,206 --> 00:38:32,109
it's lucas, our son, whom
we haven't seen in years.
715
00:38:32,177 --> 00:38:36,615
albert, sobbing: lucas!
give your mother a kiss!
716
00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,616
i'm so happy, albert.
717
00:38:38,683 --> 00:38:44,247
listen, do you hear
the church bells?
718
00:38:49,227 --> 00:38:55,599
and they're playing "our son
comes home for christmas."
719
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:02,163
it was all rather convincing,
720
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:05,733
as if we were there
in the room with you...
721
00:39:05,810 --> 00:39:08,041
whether we wanted to be or not.
722
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,983
yes, well done.
723
00:39:14,052 --> 00:39:17,545
now i'm about to cough.
724
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:22,558
that was the sound
you just heard.
725
00:39:27,465 --> 00:39:33,097
i must need glasses because
i couldn't see a thing, but it...
726
00:39:33,171 --> 00:39:35,606
it sounded lovely.
727
00:39:35,673 --> 00:39:38,199
i must check on dinner.
728
00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:41,110
oh, just so you all know,
we had lots of yogurt that
729
00:39:41,179 --> 00:39:46,345
expires tomorrow so that's
going to be featured heavily.
730
00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:49,615
everything here is terrible.
731
00:39:51,289 --> 00:39:53,121
there you go!
732
00:39:53,191 --> 00:39:57,720
merry christmas, balthazar.
733
00:39:57,795 --> 00:39:59,127
need any help, darling?
734
00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,665
oh, that would be terrific.
735
00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,394
uh, what is it you like to do?
736
00:40:02,467 --> 00:40:05,596
watch?
737
00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:07,400
fine.
738
00:40:07,472 --> 00:40:10,670
oh, that is adorable.
739
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:12,938
are you certain
he's still alive?
740
00:40:13,011 --> 00:40:15,640
not 100%.
741
00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:19,693
i thought i told you never to
leave me alone with my brother
742
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:21,276
and that loony.
743
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,752
sorry you're divorced
and have nobody this
744
00:40:25,823 --> 00:40:27,018
christmas, vi.
745
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:29,651
well, i have both of you.
746
00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:31,662
and it's kind of like
the three of us are
747
00:40:31,729 --> 00:40:33,129
married anyway.
748
00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:34,631
no, it's not.
749
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,728
mason? yes?
750
00:40:37,802 --> 00:40:40,362
is it christmas? yes.
751
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:42,669
i remember because
my son called me.
752
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:43,901
how lovely.
753
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:48,037
yes, he always calls
me on christmas eve.
754
00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:54,052
my memory hasn't
been... well, you know.
755
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:56,178
can i tell you something?
756
00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:57,552
certainly you can.
757
00:40:57,622 --> 00:41:00,888
i'm frightened.
758
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:02,587
i'm here, my dear.
759
00:41:04,128 --> 00:41:05,596
don't worry.
760
00:41:17,542 --> 00:41:19,101
thank you.
761
00:41:25,049 --> 00:41:28,144
well, stuart has almost
finished murdering dinner.
762
00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:30,552
and what have you
two been talking about?
763
00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,199
about what a marvelous
time we've been having.
764
00:41:32,223 --> 00:41:33,657
yes.
765
00:41:33,725 --> 00:41:34,988
are you all right, penelope?
766
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:38,257
i'm wonderful, violet. i've
always loved christmas.
767
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,888
so have i.
768
00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:43,662
mason, do you remember
when our mother used to sing
769
00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:45,101
carols to us?
770
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,660
of course.
771
00:41:46,738 --> 00:41:49,003
she had a beautiful voice.
772
00:41:49,073 --> 00:41:50,632
oh, yes.
773
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,272
and then she beat us.
774
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,585
she was a monster.
775
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:10,628
i really hope
everybody likes yogurt.
776
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,630
who can that be?
777
00:42:13,698 --> 00:42:15,633
well, if it's someone
collecting for charity,
778
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:18,864
politely tell them to piss off.
779
00:42:18,936 --> 00:42:20,996
hi.
780
00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:22,540
oh, hello, oliver.
781
00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:24,685
i just stopped by to wish
you both a merry christmas.
782
00:42:24,709 --> 00:42:26,143
please, come in.
783
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:28,236
if you're sure it's
all right. of course.
784
00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:30,076
uh, you know freddie.
785
00:42:30,148 --> 00:42:32,174
and this is penelope and mason.
786
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:33,650
hello, sweetheart.
787
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,845
mm, hello.
788
00:42:34,919 --> 00:42:36,649
and you remember
our friend violet.
789
00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:37,916
hello, darling.
790
00:42:37,989 --> 00:42:39,423
hi.
791
00:42:39,490 --> 00:42:41,152
well, join us.
792
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:42,625
yes, sit.
793
00:42:56,340 --> 00:42:58,673
your hand is on my thigh.
794
00:42:58,743 --> 00:43:00,143
is it?
795
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:03,773
can i get you a drink?
796
00:43:03,848 --> 00:43:06,113
i'm ok, thanks.
797
00:43:06,184 --> 00:43:07,516
violet!
798
00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:08,985
oh, sorry.
799
00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:13,150
i don't mean to stare, but...
800
00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:16,592
are you freddie thornhill
from "doctor who"?
801
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,474
guilty as charged, oliver!
802
00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:36,646
here i am just spending
a quiet christmas with my
803
00:43:36,714 --> 00:43:40,617
family, and well i guess
i've been discovered.
804
00:43:42,587 --> 00:43:48,652
by the one person who's
ever recognized him.
805
00:43:48,726 --> 00:43:51,161
i am a massive fan.
806
00:43:51,229 --> 00:43:52,697
but you must get
that all the time.
807
00:43:52,763 --> 00:43:55,062
i do.
808
00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:57,659
but how kind of you to say.
809
00:43:57,735 --> 00:44:03,504
so, you must tell us all
about yourself, oliver.
810
00:44:03,574 --> 00:44:05,566
we want to know everything.
811
00:44:14,685 --> 00:44:16,586
merry christmas, freddie.
812
00:44:19,123 --> 00:44:20,591
merry christmas.
813
00:44:26,130 --> 00:44:27,598
merry christmas, balthazar.
814
00:44:59,263 --> 00:45:02,961
stuart, stop snoring!
815
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,560
that's not me.
816
00:45:07,672 --> 00:45:09,573
sorry, darlings!
817
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,917
geez, i'd forgotten
she was here.
818
00:45:19,984 --> 00:45:25,355
see, it is a little like
we're all married.
819
00:45:25,423 --> 00:45:29,087
you have to stop saying that.
820
00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:36,726
stuart?
821
00:45:36,801 --> 00:45:38,633
yes?
822
00:45:38,703 --> 00:45:40,604
will you hold me?
823
00:45:57,054 --> 00:45:59,649
i'm so happy.
53250
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