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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:07,408 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,445 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:14,615 With ronny howard. 4 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:18,319 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,225 Yeah, boy. 6 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,394 They were really bitin' Out there today. 7 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,396 Good. Best I've Seen them this year. 8 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:31,132 You get back now as quick As you can, you hear? 9 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,566 Andy, there is a good chance I'll be able to get down 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,335 Sometime again next month. 11 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,105 Is it okay if I bring a couple Of cronies from my club along? 12 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,506 Oh, by all means. 13 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,474 Bring anybody you want to. Glad to have 'em. 14 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,676 Wonderful. You know What I'd like to do? 15 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,513 I'd like to repay some Of this mayberry hospitality. 16 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,648 You get up to State capital very often? 17 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:48,682 Every now and then. 18 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,452 I'd like to put you up For membership in our club-- 19 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,453 The esquire club. 20 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,588 Well, now, the esquire club. 21 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,856 How about that? 22 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,857 Yeah. 23 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,428 'course, now, whenever I do go up to the capital 24 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:04,165 I generally bring My deputy barney fife along. 25 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,833 Well, fine, bring him along. I've never met him 26 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,835 But if he's your deputy, That's good enough for us. 27 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,503 You're free thursday night? 28 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,871 Thursday... Thursday... 29 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,773 Yeah. Yeah, we're free thursday. 30 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,476 Plan on coming up for dinner, Say around 8:00. 31 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,246 You and barney can meet The membership committee 32 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,813 And y'all kinda get acquainted. 33 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,482 Well, that's neighborly. 34 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,251 That's fine. We'll do that. 35 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,752 We'll count on it, andy. 36 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,587 Okay, roger. We'll see ya. Drive careful now. 37 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,289 Okay. 38 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:38,466 Barn? 39 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:47,208 [ snoring ] 40 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,400 Hi, andy. 41 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:17,405 Oh, hi, barn. 42 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,607 How was the fishin'? 43 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,309 Fine, fine, fine. 44 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,944 How's everything Around here? 45 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,679 Busy, busy, busy. 46 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,848 Busy doing what? 47 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,451 Oh, different things. 48 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,386 Well, what? 49 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:37,425 Oh, the phone, the mail, Filing, cleaning up... 50 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,859 The phone... 51 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,395 Taking out the trash. 52 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:44,532 Seems like that trash Gets heavier every week. 53 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,171 Some people comin' in and out. 54 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,542 What people? 55 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,810 Oh, first one and then another. 56 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,979 You, uh... You didn't get a chance 57 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,649 To fix that stop sign Down on elm street. 58 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,751 No, no, I didn't get A chance to do that. 59 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,287 I was so busy. I'll do that right now. 60 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:23,937 Did you forget Something, barn? 61 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,906 No, no. 62 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,237 Barney? 63 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,543 Lookin' for these? 64 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,345 Oh, you're a clown, you are. 65 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,847 Why don't you put a Red light on your nose 66 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,050 And go in the circus? 67 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,652 Oh, barney, I don't care 68 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,821 If you take a nap Once in a while. 69 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,489 I was just pickin' at ya. 70 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,925 You're a regular Felix the cat, you are. 71 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,827 I'll tell you one thing-- 72 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,831 I hope you got a better Sense of humor thursday night. 73 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,799 We got a little invitation 74 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,669 To come and visit The esquire club. 75 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,971 What was that you said About the esquire club 76 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,540 Thursday night? 77 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,808 Yeah. This fella I go fishin' with-- 78 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,677 Roger courtney-- He belongs 79 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,512 And he invited us To come up there. 80 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,513 The esquire club? 81 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:40,514 That's right. 82 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:41,515 You're kidding. 83 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,516 No. 84 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,085 The... The esquire club? 85 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,020 The esquire club? 86 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:50,558 Well, andy, that's-that's one Of the fanciest clubs around. 87 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,793 They want us to be there Thursday night at 8:00. 88 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,061 You think you can make it? 89 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,796 Oh, andy. 90 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,832 This could be the beginning Of a whole new life for us-- 91 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,634 Social contacts... 92 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,836 And think Of the business contacts. 93 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:06,640 Well, considering The line of work we're in 94 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,076 I don't know how many folks Would wanna do business with us. 95 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:12,680 You know what I mean-- contacts. 96 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,549 That's a big thing In clubs-- contacts. 97 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:19,086 Well, I got to go out And do a little patrolling. 98 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,389 I can hardly wait Till thursday night. 99 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,723 Yeah. It'll be fun. 100 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,425 The esquire club. 101 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,427 That's really A highfalutin club! 102 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,396 Yeah, I guess so. 103 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,730 You comin'? 104 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,031 Uh, well, uh... 105 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,100 I think I'll drop In the barber shop. 106 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,002 I want to check up On something. 107 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,504 Check up on what? 108 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,839 Uh, it'll only take a minute. Come on. 109 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,841 All right. 110 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,382 Yeah. He moved To kansas city. 111 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,383 Hi, fellas. 112 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,384 Hi, boys. 113 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,785 Floyd, jud, how are ya? 114 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:52,853 Fine, fine. 115 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,422 Floyd, I just, uh... 116 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,824 I just dropped in To check up on something. 117 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,891 Yeah? 118 00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,159 Our lodge meeting -- 119 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,462 Is it on thursday night Or friday night? 120 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,630 Huh? 121 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,965 You know we've been Meeting on friday nights 122 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,467 For the last six years. 123 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,701 Well, I just wanted 124 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,670 To make sure it Wasn't changed. 125 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,104 I wanted to make sure 126 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,441 It didn't conflict with My other club meeting. 127 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:19,780 You see, my other club Meeting's on thursday night. 128 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,982 Good. How was The fishin', andy? 129 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,684 Fine, floyd. Fine, fine. 130 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,119 My other club's up At the state capital. 131 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,721 Floyd: What'd you catch? 132 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,790 Mess of trout; Couple of catfish. 133 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,426 This other club of Mine's right up there 134 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:33,927 At the ol' state capital. 135 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,429 Up at the state capital? 136 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,630 That's right. 137 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,432 They got a barbershop up there 138 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,533 That's a five-chair. 139 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,034 Maybe someday 140 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,104 I might go into business Up there myself. 141 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,773 Well, now, what's wrong 142 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,175 With my wanting a shop Up at the state capital? 143 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,778 There's nothing wrong With a little ambition. 144 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,746 I could start out With a two-chair. 145 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,950 Floyd, ask barney 146 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,753 The name of this club Before he has a spell. 147 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,755 If he'd have wanted Me to know the name 148 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,491 Of this club, He'd have told me. 149 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,192 I ain't one to pry. 150 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,194 You ain't one to pry? 151 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,530 You're always asking me When I'm gonna get married 152 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,865 And how much I send My mother every month. 153 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,767 Well, I've stopped being nosy. 154 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,902 I've reformed. 155 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,770 Well, couldn't you Be nosy just once more 156 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:17,971 Before you reform? 157 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:21,609 All right. What's the name of the club? 158 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:25,546 The esquire club. 159 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,915 Hmm. Esquire club. 160 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,950 Oh, I've heard of that. 161 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,685 Me, too. Pretty ritzy. 162 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,921 We're joining up, Andy and me. 163 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,556 You, too, andy? 164 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,790 How'd you swing it? 165 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,125 This fella, Roger courtney-- 166 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,060 He comes down And we fish together 167 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,062 And he lives up there At the capital 168 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,565 And he asked us To come up there to see him. 169 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,267 Roger courtney. He belongs? 170 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,503 Yeah. Rog is one of us. 171 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,672 Oh, he's class. He's real... 172 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,940 Oh, I tell you. 173 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,242 You know, He came in for a haircut. 174 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,276 You know what? 175 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,044 What? 176 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,112 He asked me To give him a haircut 177 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,981 That didn't look like a haircut. 178 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,583 Imagine getting a haircut 179 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,985 And didn't want anybody else To know about it. 180 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:08,522 That's the kind Of members we got. 181 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:09,823 Oh, he's real class. 182 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,792 Well, I guess I'll go on down 183 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,193 To the Filling station 184 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,128 And tell everybody About it. 185 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,897 Tell everybody About what? 186 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,533 About you and andy Going up to the state capital 187 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,101 And joinin' up In this here club. 188 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,302 You don't mind, do you? 189 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,937 Oh, no, no. No. 190 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,807 I mean, not if it comes up In conversation. 191 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176 I don't know what All the to-do's about. 192 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,644 A club's a club. 193 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,179 That's the esquire club. 194 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,714 Yeah. I'll remember. 195 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:34,948 Bye, jud. 196 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,617 I'll see ya, jud. 197 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,919 Well, I'd better Be moseyin' along myself. 198 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,187 Oh, but, andy... 199 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,889 Huh? 200 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,324 If you and barney are going Up to state capital 201 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,760 Who's gonna be Mindin' the jailhouse? 202 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,729 Oh, I expect It'll just be otis 203 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,731 Comin' by with a snootful. 204 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,900 Here. I'll leave A note on the door 205 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,668 And tell him You got the key. 206 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,803 Oh, all right. 207 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,270 I'll see ya, Fella esquirian. 208 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,973 Barney, uh, before You start taking out 209 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,776 An ad in the paper About us being members 210 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,645 We ain't Officially in yet. 211 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,214 We're just going Up there to look around 212 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,683 And meet the Membership committee. 213 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,753 Oh, andy, that's just A formality-- routine. 214 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,790 Well, it could be they might Look us over and not want us. 215 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,926 Now you're being Downright silly. 216 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,293 Well... 217 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,895 I'll see ya, floyd. 218 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,363 Floyd: bye, andy. 219 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,965 Well, barn, boy 220 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,800 You're really Gettin' up 221 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,602 In the world, Aren't ya? 222 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,803 Seems to me 223 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,338 You're doing... 224 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,140 What's the matter? 225 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:37,678 You know, what he said May not be so silly at that. 226 00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,212 Well, what do you mean? 227 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,715 About them Maybe not wanting us. 228 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,151 Oh, you got nothin' To worry about. 229 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,353 Oh, no. It ain't me 230 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,689 I'm worried about. 231 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,023 It's andy. 232 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,358 Andy? 233 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,627 Yeah. Andy could use A little polishin' 234 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,929 And I guess It's gonna be up to me 235 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,765 To go to work on him. 236 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,636 You want me To talk about what? 237 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,237 Andy, we got to make An impression 238 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,773 At the esquire club. 239 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,208 We got to talk About big, important things. 240 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:11,311 Got to talk about our stocks And our bonds and stuff. 241 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,313 We ain't got any Stocks and bonds. 242 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,182 In fact, we ain't Even got any stuff. 243 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,218 We know we ain't got Any stocks and bonds 244 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,188 But there ain't no reason For them to know it. 245 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,823 But pretending we have-- 246 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,692 Ain't that kinda Like lying? 247 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,394 Well, all we got to do Is just to say something 248 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,764 Like, "Well, I see u.S. Steel went up three points" 249 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,165 And look happy about it 250 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,967 And they'll Think we got it 251 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,235 But that ain't lying. 252 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:38,105 Well, no, maybe not, But I want you to know 253 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,040 You can't get Much closer to it. 254 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,975 Andy, I know What these fellas 255 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,777 Are gonna expect Out of us. 256 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,212 Barney, don't you think 257 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,014 We'd be better off Being ourselves 258 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,448 And forget About puttin' on? 259 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,450 No. Now, look, andy, It ain't gonna hurt 260 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,119 To try to make An impression-- 261 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,087 You know, to put Our best foot forward 262 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:58,091 Because, don't forget now, This is a number one club. 263 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,861 It's a... It's An important club. 264 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,730 Yeah, well, I guess so. 265 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,031 Just think, andy. 266 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,734 Today, a couple Of unknown boys 267 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,402 In a small-town Sheriff's office... 268 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,940 Tomorrow night, members Of the esquire club. 269 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,042 We ain't in it. 270 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,944 We will be. We will be. 271 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,312 Well, what makes you So sure? 272 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,381 'cause we're The esquire types. 273 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,427 Andy, your coat is ready. 274 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,229 Got it all pressed. 275 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,165 Andy: Be right down, aunt bee. 276 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,399 You do your homework? 277 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,001 Yes, ma'am. All done. 278 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,770 Not bad, I think, now. 279 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,172 Okay. You sure do look Handsome, paw. 280 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,439 Why, thank you, son. 281 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,408 There gonna be Any girls there? 282 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,877 No, just fellas. 283 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,845 Then what's all The fuss about? 284 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,847 You know, that's something I've been asking myself 285 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,816 Ever since this Whole thing come up. 286 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,885 Now, andy, bonnie tells me It's pretty important 287 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,020 Joining this club, And besides, it doesn't hurt you 288 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,488 To get dressed up Once in a while. 289 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,390 Now, remember, aunt bee, We're not going up there 290 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,992 To necessarily join. 291 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,526 We're just going up To visit. 292 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,929 [ buzzer ] 293 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:16,870 Well, barney, come on in, Come on in. 294 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,772 Wow! 295 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,808 Isn't somebody gonna Say something? 296 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,176 I think "Wow" Does it for us all. 297 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,412 I don't hardly Know you, barney. 298 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,848 Yeah, you look good enough to Take to the fireworks display. 299 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,449 [ laughter ] 300 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,785 They done had me thinking I was Handsome before you come in. 301 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,921 Oh, well, We're different types. 302 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,089 I guess we better Get going, huh? 303 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,324 I guess, well... 304 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,892 Bye, paw, Have a good time. 305 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,327 Bye, andy. Now, wait! 306 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,462 Step out with your right foot So it'll all go well. 307 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,297 Oh, all right. Ready? Here we go. 308 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,966 Whoa! 309 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,205 Hi. 310 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,274 You hooked. 311 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,542 [ laughing ] 312 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,811 No, I don't care For anything. 313 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,813 Fellas, How about a drink? 314 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,115 I will have a drink out of His bottle, please-- 315 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,417 His private stock. 316 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,793 Oh, excuse me. Oh, okay. 317 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,832 Well, andy, it's Good to see you. 318 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,267 Hiya, roger. Glad to see ya. 319 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,602 I'd like you to meet My deputy barney fife. 320 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,304 Barney, it's nice To meet you. 321 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,338 Please, come in. 322 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,540 It's a nice place You got here, rog. 323 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:28,909 Well, thank you. 324 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:32,412 Oh, I'd like you to meet Some of our members. 325 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,546 Uh, john danby 326 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,148 And george bronson 327 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,017 This is barney fife And andy taylor. 328 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,151 Howdy. 329 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,619 How are you? Hello, andy. 330 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,154 Glad to see you, sir. 331 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,322 Well, roger tells me 332 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,991 You gentlemen are From mayberry. 333 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,859 That's right-- mayberry. 334 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:46,894 That's right. 335 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,998 Well, I see u.S. Steel 336 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,466 Went up two And a half today. 337 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,568 Of course, Consolidated industries 338 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,270 Took a slight dip-- Off an eighth. 339 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,239 That's very interesting. 340 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,108 Barney: yes, it is, Isn't it? 341 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,510 [ chuckling ] 342 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,545 Well, if you'll excuse us 343 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,248 I'd like them to meet Some other members. 344 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,117 Yeah. That's what We're here for-- 345 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,518 To have a Little look-see. 346 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,320 Good day, Gentlemen. 347 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,655 Fellas, I hate to Break up this golf lesson 348 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,391 But I'd like you to meet Some friends of mine. 349 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,527 Barney fife, this Is cliff britain 350 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,129 Tom wilson Hello, tom. 351 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,530 And jim baker. Hi, barney. 352 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,132 This is Andy taylor. 353 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,399 Cliff britain 354 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,001 Tom wilson Mr. Wilson 355 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,136 And jim baker. 356 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,537 Mr. Baker, How are ya? 357 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,671 Oh, golf, huh? 358 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,006 Yeah. 359 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,407 Well, what do You shoot, tom? 360 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,575 Oh, low 80s. 361 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,210 Oh, that's not too bad. 362 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,311 How 'bout you, jim? 363 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:39,312 95, 96. 364 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,548 And he's teachin' you How to play? 365 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,084 Why you oughta be Takin' lessons from him. 366 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,086 Then you'd be shootin' Up in the 90s 367 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,454 Maybe even hit 100. 368 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,925 Yeah. 369 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,462 Well, look, before dinner 370 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,498 I'd like to show you fellas The club trophy room. 371 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,301 Yeah. Next to huntin' There's nothin' I like better 372 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,436 Than a good game of golf Out on the links. 373 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,729 This is good, roger. What is this? 374 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,731 Uh, it's baked alaska. 375 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,666 I don't believe I've ever heard of it. 376 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,303 Uh, sure you have, andy. Uh, you just forgot. 377 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,105 Uh, th-that's baked alaska. 378 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,306 It's that new dessert 379 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,274 That come out Since it become a state. 380 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,316 Well, this certainly is An experience for us 381 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,218 To come up here And visit like this. 382 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,552 Good supper. 383 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,087 Glad to have you. 384 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,722 Thank you For having us. 385 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,157 Good-bye, andy. 386 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,059 Yes, sirree, and now That we know 387 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,194 Where you are, why, We won't be strangers. 388 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,432 Well, I'll just See you fellas to the door. 389 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,766 Okay. 390 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,069 Thank you again. We enjoyed it. 391 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,609 Sounds like you And barney had yourself 392 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,111 A high old time. 393 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,213 Oh, it was nice. Beautiful place. 394 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,714 Well, are you going To join? 395 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,283 I don't know. 396 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,152 I don't care one way Or the other. 397 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,419 Barney, he's the one. 398 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,288 He's about to have A fit to get in. 399 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,757 Pa, did you have to give Some kind of password 400 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,725 Or secret sign to Get into the club? 401 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,262 No, no. They just Opened the door, 402 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,463 And we walked in. 403 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,565 When you join up, Are you gonna get 404 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,068 A sweater and cap With "Esquire" on it? 405 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,602 I don't think so. 406 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:43,803 Hmm. 407 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,039 Don't sound like Much of a club to me. 408 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,045 Did you get the call yet? Did they call? 409 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,513 For heaven sakes, You come in 410 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,215 Like you're raidin' The place. 411 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,217 Did they call? Are we members? 412 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,619 Just relax, barney. This is just another club. 413 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,488 You're makin' too much Out of this. 414 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,091 Too much?! This is the esquire club. 415 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,758 Oh, I'm sorry. Good mornin', aunt bee. 416 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,294 The way I figure it 417 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,761 They voted Right after we left. 418 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,363 Now, why ain't they called? 419 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,831 Barney, these Things take time. 420 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,666 Now, the best thing Is to forget it 421 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,435 And wait till You hear from them. 422 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,504 Yeah. That's right. Andy, the best thing 423 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,806 Is forget it and wait Till we hear from them. 424 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,641 Relax. Think about Somethin' else. 425 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,776 That's right. Think about somethin' else. 426 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,512 After all, It won't be a tragedy 427 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,114 If we don't get in, Will it? 428 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,348 Don't get in?! 429 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,217 What are you talkin' about? 430 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,186 [ phone rings ] 431 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,155 We'll let it ring one more time. 432 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,290 That way, it won't look like We're so anxious. 433 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,597 Sarah? 434 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,733 Did you have a call Through to this number? 435 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,202 Well, put it through, For heaven sakes. 436 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,537 [ clears throat ] 437 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,540 Hello? 438 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,343 Hello, miss simms. 439 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,279 It's for you, aunt bee. 440 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,617 Hello, marie. 441 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,519 Yes. 442 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,255 Yes? 443 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,589 You don't say. 444 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,458 At a time like this... 445 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,360 Miss simms-- the biggest Blabbermouth in town. 446 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,627 Relax, barney. 447 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,429 Remember, we're Supposed to relax. 448 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,531 She could keep this line Tied up for hours. 449 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:21,768 You want to tell her You'll call her back, aunt bee. 450 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,903 Oh, marie, May I call you back? 451 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,605 I, uh... 452 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,641 I've got some cherry Popovers in the oven. 453 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,644 Oh, sure, they turn out Nice and fluffy. 454 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,914 Well, th-the secret Is in the batter, marie. 455 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,250 Sure, I'll give It to you. 456 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,785 You take a pound Of cherries... 457 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,787 [ humming ] 458 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,390 I'll give you the recipe When I call you back, marie. 459 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,724 Bye. 460 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,927 Let me see if opie's Gone off to school. 461 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,297 Hello, sarah? This is barney fife. 462 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,265 Will you keep The line open here? 463 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,535 I'm expecting an important call From the state capital. 464 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,737 Well, it's kind of official. 465 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,272 Right. 466 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,673 Barney, ain't You forgettin' 467 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,542 The school crossin' This mornin'? 468 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:03,943 [ frustrated groan ] 469 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,944 Of all mornings! 470 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,613 You cover the School crossin'. 471 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,648 I'll let you know When I hear anything. 472 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,350 I keep tellin' you 473 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,352 We oughta have a telephone In that squad car. 474 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,787 When are we gonna get Modern around here? 475 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,494 Well, andy... Hi, andy. 476 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,630 Well, roger, mr. Wilson. 477 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,732 Hey, this is a surprise. 478 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,634 We're just driving Up to tom's place 479 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,868 And thought We'd drop by. 480 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,471 Uh-huh. Well, I'm glad you did. 481 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,473 Yeah. Uh... 482 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,641 Andy, about last night. 483 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,209 Oh, andy, I want you to know 484 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,844 The boys All enjoyed meeting you. 485 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,379 They enjoyed Talking to you. 486 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,880 Yes, and you Were accepted 100%. 487 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:41,881 It was unanimous. 488 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,650 Andy, it's gonna Be wonderful 489 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,851 To have you One of us. 490 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,753 Uh, wh-what about barney? 491 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,688 Well... 492 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,992 You didn't like him. 493 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,727 Well, it's just... 494 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,530 Andy, we-we kind of felt That he wouldn't fit in. 495 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,798 Wilson: Well, I guess he's 496 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,000 A nice enough fella, Andy, and I'm sure 497 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,635 He's a very Competent deputy... 498 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:03,770 Well, look, andy 499 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,638 I got a lot of fellas Workin' for me 500 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,674 And we don't belong To the same clubs. 501 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,578 Well, I guess you could Have a fella workin' for ya 502 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,746 And not belong To the same clubs 503 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,582 But, uh, you see 504 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,251 With, uh, with barney and me, It's-it's different. 505 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:21,020 Uh, he don't just work for me-- We're pretty close friends. 506 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,555 Well, andy, like I said 507 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,824 I'm sure he's A nice enough fella... 508 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:29,396 Yeah. Well, he was just Pressin' too much last night. 509 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,699 He tried so hard To put his best foot forward 510 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,268 He tripped over it And fell down. 511 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,870 I'm not... I'm not Makin' excuses for him 512 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,541 And y'all sure got a right To-to pick who you want 513 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,811 But, uh, well, uh, Don't, uh, don't get me wrong 514 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:48,748 But, uh, I'm-I'm not sure That barney or me, either one 515 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,950 Would fit in At your, uh, club. 516 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,886 I mean, you got your interests And everything 517 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,722 And-and we've got ours, and... 518 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,458 Well, let's, uh, let's just Leave it this way-- 519 00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,792 It was nice of you 520 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,794 To invite us to Come up there and visit 521 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:04,397 And, well, we're obliged To you for that. I am. 522 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,366 It's great of you To take it this way. 523 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:07,967 I'm sorry you Won't be joining us. 524 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,836 Well, now, listen, No hard feelings 525 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:12,472 And just because We won't belong to the same club 526 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:13,806 Why, there's no reason 527 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,842 Why we can't fish At the same fishin' hole. 528 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,444 I'm glad to hear that, andy. 529 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:18,945 You come on back, Now, anytime. 530 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,448 Thank you very much, And we'll be seein' you. 531 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:22,849 Okay. Have a good trip. 532 00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,017 Thank you. Yeah. 533 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,609 That was them. That was rog's car. 534 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,110 We're so important, 535 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,546 They had to come here In person and tell us. 536 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,883 Boy, if this ain't the biggest Day that ever happened... 537 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,918 Wh-what's the Matter, andy? 538 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,521 Why are you lookin' like that? 539 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,423 We're in, ain't we? 540 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,394 Well...No. 541 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:13,666 Fact is, they was about To accept one of us. 542 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,768 One of us? 543 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,637 Uh-huh. 544 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,473 You must be kiddin'. 545 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,576 I'd like to punch 'em all Right in the nose. 546 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,111 There ain't no use to get upset. 547 00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:27,146 They got a right To pick who they want. 548 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,481 Of all the nerve. 549 00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:29,582 Of all the nerve! 550 00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:30,917 Boy, this really steams me. 551 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,118 Take it easy. 552 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,653 Take it easy, nothin'. 553 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,622 What are they, a bunch Of snobs or somethin'? 554 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,023 Now, barney... 555 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,125 Imagine that. Imagine that... 556 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:42,094 Turnin' down A nice guy like you. 557 00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:44,464 Huh? 558 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,533 Who do they think They are, anyway? 559 00:22:46,566 --> 00:22:47,900 Well, they couldn't find 560 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:50,002 A nicer guy than you In the whole world 561 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,571 To be in their old club. 562 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,772 Well, I'll show 'em. 563 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,040 What are you doin'? 564 00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,675 I'll tell ya what I'm doin'. 565 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,144 If you ain't good enough For 'em, neither am I. 566 00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:00,447 I'm sendin' in My resignation. 567 00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:13,793 Hey, barney, guess what? What? 568 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:15,628 I just went fishing with another One of them club fellas, 569 00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:17,430 And he wants us To join his club. 570 00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:18,765 He does? Yeah. 571 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,066 I knew it. 572 00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:21,768 I knew the minute The word got around 573 00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,503 That we didn't go In the esquire club, 574 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,071 Another outfit would Want to snap us up. 575 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,806 What club is it? The tomahawks. 576 00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:29,208 The tomahawks. Don't believe I ever heard of the... 577 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,910 Are you trying To pull my leg? 578 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,745 Shh! Here comes The president now. 579 00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:40,052 Did you talk to him, paw? 580 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,187 Yep. 581 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,889 Does he want to join? 582 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,592 It'd be an honor, ope. 583 00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:57,937 Raise your tomahawk In your right hand. 584 00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,039 Face the rising sun. 585 00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:02,509 And repeat after me. 586 00:24:02,542 --> 00:24:04,611 As a tomahawk, I solemnly swear 587 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,879 To be fair and square At all times. 588 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,615 As a tomahawk, As a tomahawk, 589 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,517 I solemnly swear I solemnly swear 590 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,585 To be fair and square To be fair and square 591 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,487 At all times. At all times. 40981

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