Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,720
Subs created by: David Coleman.
2
00:00:07,044 --> 00:00:09,084
[Music]
3
00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:18,542
Sam, come here come here come here!
4
00:00:18,543 --> 00:00:20,403
Ugh!
5
00:00:21,739 --> 00:00:23,280
What?
6
00:00:23,281 --> 00:00:27,361
Put these chips out for our guests!
7
00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:34,625
Did I miss it?!
8
00:00:34,626 --> 00:00:35,713
Nope.
9
00:00:35,714 --> 00:00:37,260
Oh!
10
00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:39,541
Hey, Opee.
11
00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:42,833
So what you making?
12
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,267
Lemonade.
13
00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:45,936
I thought you forgot to buy lemons.
14
00:00:45,937 --> 00:00:49,597
I did. So I'm using mustard.
15
00:00:53,008 --> 00:00:55,613
Hey, what time does
our commercial come on?
16
00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:58,348
Uh, well, my guy said it'll
be on during "Toilet Wars,"
17
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:01,265
probably around 2:35.
18
00:01:01,266 --> 00:01:03,587
It's ready!
19
00:01:03,588 --> 00:01:06,768
Who wants mustard-ade?!
20
00:01:12,296 --> 00:01:13,497
Hi, Nona!
21
00:01:13,498 --> 00:01:17,234
Hey, Joker, you just missed Batman.
22
00:01:17,235 --> 00:01:18,335
What happened?!
23
00:01:18,336 --> 00:01:19,569
Humma?
24
00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,911
Cat texted me.
25
00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:24,274
"Come over right now, I'm dying!"
26
00:01:24,275 --> 00:01:26,099
Of excitement!
27
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,856
Oh, for heaven's sake.
28
00:01:27,857 --> 00:01:31,248
Do you children know that it's
after two o'clock in the morning?!
29
00:01:31,249 --> 00:01:33,117
Yeah. They're about
to show our commercial.
30
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:34,284
What commercial?
31
00:01:34,285 --> 00:01:36,685
I told you!
32
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:40,658
Sam and I made a commercial to
help us get more babysitting jobs.
33
00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:43,093
But I thought you were
just gonna put that online.
34
00:01:43,094 --> 00:01:46,964
We were, but Dice knows a kid whose
Dad runs the Shameless Network.
35
00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:48,720
So I talked to him and I got him
36
00:01:48,721 --> 00:01:51,702
to put Sam and Cat's commercial
on during "Toilet Wars"!
37
00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,370
"Toilet Wars" is on?
38
00:01:53,371 --> 00:01:55,873
Ooh, I love this show.
39
00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:59,309
- Great, sit on the floor.
- Ah!
40
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:01,669
Turn it up!
41
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,190
Yellow beverage?
42
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,771
Oh, thank you.
43
00:02:07,714 --> 00:02:11,434
Did this come out of a horse?
44
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:13,323
Where is he?!
45
00:02:13,324 --> 00:02:15,358
He was supposed to be
here a half hour ago!
46
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:18,095
If I knew where he was
don't ya think I'd tell ya?!
47
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,496
We're not gonna make it!
48
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:22,317
We gotta make it!
49
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,334
This is getting intense.
50
00:02:24,335 --> 00:02:26,937
Because ya know, we promised
Mister Wang we'd have his new toilet
51
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:31,858
installed in his restaurant
bathroom by 7 P.M.
52
00:02:31,945 --> 00:02:36,085
I don't think we're gonna make it.
53
00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:38,048
We gotta make it!
54
00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:40,751
Where's Pukeferd with the yank chain?!
55
00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:43,332
I don't know!
56
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:50,460
Ooh, here comes our
commercial! Everybody shut up!
57
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,229
No one was talking.
58
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:57,634
- If you're a parent...
- You probably love your kids.
59
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,432
But who wants 'em around all the time?
60
00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:00,496
_.
61
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,939
You got that right.
62
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,707
Yeah!
63
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:06,006
Does this kinda stuff drive you nuts?!
64
00:03:06,007 --> 00:03:07,119
_.
65
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,800
_.
66
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,828
So why not bring your kids to...
67
00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,509
_.
68
00:03:15,649 --> 00:03:16,704
Yeah!
69
00:03:16,705 --> 00:03:17,400
_.
70
00:03:17,401 --> 00:03:18,168
_.
71
00:03:18,169 --> 00:03:19,277
_.
72
00:03:19,278 --> 00:03:20,958
_.
73
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:24,494
Hey, Opee, that was
you, boy! You're on TV!
74
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,130
Babysit your kids.
75
00:03:26,131 --> 00:03:28,388
We feed them!
76
00:03:28,389 --> 00:03:30,189
Ah.
77
00:03:31,535 --> 00:03:33,070
We burp them!
78
00:03:33,071 --> 00:03:35,051
[Burp]
79
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,039
We change them!
80
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,282
I don't do that.
81
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:40,863
I change them!
82
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,556
[Bell dings]
83
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,084
We'll even babysit pets!
84
00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:48,949
Arf! Arf!
85
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,802
So if you've got kids or pets...
86
00:03:50,803 --> 00:03:52,916
And you don't want 'em
around for a while...
87
00:03:52,917 --> 00:03:54,887
Bring 'em on down to...
88
00:03:54,888 --> 00:03:56,568
_.
89
00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:00,250
Contact us at...
90
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:01,931
_.
91
00:04:04,942 --> 00:04:06,491
Dot net?
92
00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:09,247
Dot com was taken.
93
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,928
_.
94
00:04:22,912 --> 00:04:24,928
♪ I'm never that far.
95
00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:27,395
♪ No matter where you are.
96
00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:30,714
♪ Believe it, we
can make it come true.
97
00:04:30,715 --> 00:04:34,857
♪ We'll do it our way,
no matter what they say.
98
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,565
♪ Because no one's
gonna do it for you.
99
00:04:37,566 --> 00:04:39,172
♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah!
100
00:04:39,173 --> 00:04:42,011
♪ But I, I, I, I...
101
00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:44,689
♪ I'll never say, never.
102
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:48,830
♪ As long as we keep it together.
103
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:50,425
♪ Oh!
104
00:04:50,426 --> 00:04:54,266
♪ If you're living a dream,
and you know what it means.
105
00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:58,023
♪ Then you can't let
them change your mind.
106
00:04:58,024 --> 00:05:02,107
♪ It's the life that we choose,
and we still break the rules.
107
00:05:02,108 --> 00:05:05,078
♪ But it's all gonna be just fine.
108
00:05:05,079 --> 00:05:05,976
♪ Just fine.
109
00:05:05,977 --> 00:05:09,934
♪ Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine.
110
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:14,495
♪ You and me we're gonna be just fine.
111
00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:16,652
♪ Oh.
112
00:05:18,322 --> 00:05:20,362
[Music]
113
00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:22,358
Will you check our email again?
114
00:05:22,359 --> 00:05:25,525
I've been checking every five minutes.
115
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:29,098
Man! We did all that work to make
that stupid commercial for nothing?!
116
00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:32,902
We got the job babysitting
Mister Nowak's plant.
117
00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:34,642
I don't wanna babysit a stupid fern!
118
00:05:34,643 --> 00:05:37,568
Shh. Plants have feelings.
119
00:05:37,569 --> 00:05:40,783
And it's your turn to water him.
120
00:05:40,784 --> 00:05:42,584
Ah!
121
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,887
You can't just give a plant sugary soda!
122
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,356
What if it's got diabooties?
123
00:05:48,357 --> 00:05:50,124
Betes.
124
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:53,761
I thought it was a disease
that affected your butt?
125
00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:55,296
No, it's...
126
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:59,257
Yes, it's a disease of the butt.
127
00:06:00,302 --> 00:06:02,618
Dice coming in with Opee!
128
00:06:02,619 --> 00:06:04,021
- Yo.
- Yo-yo.
129
00:06:04,022 --> 00:06:05,506
So, did the commercial work?
130
00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:07,907
- No.
- No.
131
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:12,013
Oh, hey, I think Opee's getting
hungry. Ya have anything he can eat?
132
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:16,814
Yeah, there's a bowl
of chili under my bed.
133
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,665
[Doorbell]
134
00:06:18,666 --> 00:06:22,326
- Ding dong.
- I'll grab it.
135
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,026
What's up?
136
00:06:25,027 --> 00:06:29,897
We're looking for Sam and Cat's Super
Rockin' Fun Time Babysitting Service.
137
00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:30,798
Hey.
138
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:33,230
Uh, sure. Come on in.
139
00:06:33,231 --> 00:06:34,513
Hi!
140
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:38,039
Do you want us to babysit this... uh...
141
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,405
Little girl?
142
00:06:40,406 --> 00:06:42,910
Because she's kinda old.
143
00:06:42,911 --> 00:06:45,791
I don't need a babysitter.
I'm here about my dog.
144
00:06:45,792 --> 00:06:47,875
- We want our dog back.
- What dog?
145
00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:51,652
The one that was in your stupid
television commercial last night.
146
00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:54,574
Yay, they saw our commercial!
147
00:06:54,575 --> 00:06:56,702
They called it stupid.
148
00:06:56,703 --> 00:06:59,260
That's just street talk for good.
149
00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:00,766
You know, like...
150
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,140
"Yo man, that girl is stupid".
151
00:07:02,141 --> 00:07:05,861
"Yo man, that girl is stupid".
152
00:07:06,868 --> 00:07:10,137
Ya hear that a lot, do ya?
153
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,905
We're not from the streets.
154
00:07:11,906 --> 00:07:14,443
We live in a gated community.
155
00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:18,158
And the dog that was in
your commercial is my dog.
156
00:07:18,159 --> 00:07:21,215
Uh, no, that was my dog, Opee.
157
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,749
His name is Cornelius.
158
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,970
Cornelius?
159
00:07:27,317 --> 00:07:29,584
Look, you wanna see my dog?
160
00:07:29,585 --> 00:07:32,973
Opee, come on buddy! Come on!
161
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,194
Cornelius!
162
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,223
- Gimme my dog!
- He's my dog!
163
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,794
No, that's our dog.
164
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:41,655
We lost him six months ago.
165
00:07:41,656 --> 00:07:44,599
Well, Dice has had Opee a lot
longer than six months, right?
166
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,836
How long ya had him for?
167
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,597
About six months.
168
00:07:51,007 --> 00:07:52,614
Well, where'd you get him?
169
00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:55,487
I found him in the alley
on my way home from school.
170
00:07:55,488 --> 00:07:59,178
I saw him there like five days in
a row, sniffing around for food.
171
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,550
And he didn't have a collar,
so I just took him home.
172
00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:06,321
Well, Cornelius is ours, and
he happens to be a show dog.
173
00:08:06,322 --> 00:08:10,245
We compete in the Winchester Dog
Dancing Competition every year.
174
00:08:10,246 --> 00:08:12,660
What is dog dancing?
175
00:08:12,661 --> 00:08:15,901
It's dancing with dogs.
176
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:19,873
Which word didn't you understand?
177
00:08:20,088 --> 00:08:22,008
Um...
178
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:28,239
How would you like to see me do a
really neat magic trick with this bottle?
179
00:08:29,478 --> 00:08:30,879
Are you threatening my wife?
180
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,749
No, I'm threatening all three of you.
181
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,484
And he's not your dog!
182
00:08:36,485 --> 00:08:40,455
- Dad, show them the video!
- Yes, sweetheart.
183
00:08:40,456 --> 00:08:42,555
Look at...
184
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,992
This.
185
00:08:43,993 --> 00:08:46,118
This is Alexa Bickley and Cornelius's
186
00:08:46,119 --> 00:08:49,319
third year at the Winchester
Dog Dancing Competition.
187
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,699
Look at Cornelius' form.
188
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,920
[Applause]
189
00:08:53,937 --> 00:08:57,605
They've won the last two years in a row.
190
00:08:57,606 --> 00:08:59,826
[Cheering]
191
00:09:00,343 --> 00:09:05,263
Looks like another win
for Alexa and Cornelius.
192
00:09:06,115 --> 00:09:08,650
Well, no wonder he ran away.
193
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:09,733
Excuse me?
194
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:12,526
That's abusive...
making a dog fancy dance.
195
00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:16,307
Oh, I'm sorry... fahncy dahnce.
196
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,726
Yeah, he didn't look very happy.
197
00:09:18,727 --> 00:09:19,995
And look at him now.
198
00:09:19,996 --> 00:09:23,219
Hey Opee, give Dice some sugar.
199
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:25,067
Mm. Give me, give me.
200
00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:26,552
Oh.
201
00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:28,482
See? He loves Dice.
202
00:09:28,483 --> 00:09:31,473
Oh, licking means nothing.
203
00:09:31,474 --> 00:09:34,276
Yeah, you probably just
rubbed meat juice on his face.
204
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:35,352
- No, we didn't!
- Come on!
205
00:09:35,353 --> 00:09:38,464
Hold up, wait a minute!
206
00:09:38,465 --> 00:09:41,283
Is meat juice a real thing?
Where would I buy that?
207
00:09:41,284 --> 00:09:42,784
All right, I know how to solve this.
208
00:09:42,785 --> 00:09:45,566
Ooh, Dice has a plan, what's the plan?
209
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,687
Alright, so we put Opee in
the middle of the room...
210
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,908
Cornelius.
211
00:09:50,247 --> 00:09:52,286
We put him in the middle of the room,
212
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:54,672
and then we both call him,
and see who he comes to.
213
00:09:54,673 --> 00:09:57,732
- No, we're not...
- Hush Mother!
214
00:09:57,733 --> 00:09:58,982
Let's do it.
215
00:09:58,983 --> 00:10:02,403
- Good.
- Fine. Let's go.
216
00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:06,179
- Yay.
- Sit. Stay.
217
00:10:10,979 --> 00:10:13,348
Ready? One...
218
00:10:13,349 --> 00:10:14,849
- Oh!
- Yay!
219
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:17,766
Did you see it? Look at
that, came right over.
220
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,547
Cornelius! Bad dog!
221
00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:22,462
No, you're a bad dog. Get out.
222
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:24,370
Oh, you wanna piece of me?
223
00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:25,693
Yes.
224
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:27,229
Careful.
225
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:30,132
Alexa's had three years of Jiu-Jitsu.
226
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:33,801
I don't care what religion she is.
227
00:10:33,802 --> 00:10:37,072
We'll be back in 24 hours with
a court order and a policeman.
228
00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:41,043
Then you'll be forced to return our dog.
229
00:10:41,044 --> 00:10:43,845
Wait! I remember something
I learned in Sunday School.
230
00:10:43,846 --> 00:10:45,646
Uh.
231
00:10:46,782 --> 00:10:50,311
There were these two ladies and
they both wanted the same baby.
232
00:10:50,312 --> 00:10:53,087
So, King Solo Man said...
233
00:10:53,088 --> 00:10:57,048
"We shall cut this baby in half!"
234
00:10:57,626 --> 00:10:59,961
We're not cutting the dog in half.
235
00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:02,030
That's an awful idea.
236
00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:05,833
Yeah... I guess nobody
wants the butt-half of a dog.
237
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:09,614
Especially if he has diabooties.
238
00:11:09,872 --> 00:11:15,152
See ya tomorrow, when I
come back and take my dog.
239
00:11:15,478 --> 00:11:18,898
I'll deal with you later.
240
00:11:28,157 --> 00:11:29,563
Well, hey!
241
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:33,464
At least they saw our commercial.
242
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,760
[Music]
243
00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:47,096
Are you sure it's okay to
bring him into a restaurant?
244
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:48,164
I don't care.
245
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:52,469
This might be my last day with him, and me
and Opee gotta spend every minute together.
246
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,930
Right, buddy?
247
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:57,206
Aw.
248
00:11:57,709 --> 00:12:02,421
And you can order anything
you want off this menu...
249
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,815
That's under five dollars.
250
00:12:04,816 --> 00:12:07,095
Ooh! Don't let him order a hot dog.
251
00:12:07,096 --> 00:12:08,258
Why not?
252
00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:09,886
Well, because he's a dog.
253
00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:14,123
And if he eats a hot
dog, that's carnivalism.
254
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,325
Humma?
255
00:12:15,326 --> 00:12:18,328
Cannibalism. It's when
people eat other people.
256
00:12:18,329 --> 00:12:20,430
- Gross.
- I dunno.
257
00:12:20,431 --> 00:12:24,167
One time I was really hungry, and me and
my friend Gibby were stuck in an elevator.
258
00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:29,388
After about 45 minutes he
was looking pretty tasty.
259
00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:42,769
Um...
260
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,153
Yeah?
261
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:47,125
No animals are allowed
in this restaurant.
262
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:48,224
Animal?!
263
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,507
How dare you?!
264
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,700
I... I...
265
00:12:52,701 --> 00:12:54,983
This happens to be our Cousin, Opee.
266
00:12:54,984 --> 00:12:56,498
He's foreign.
267
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,944
But he's small, and covered with fur.
268
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,654
Yeah. Because he has a
medical condition called...
269
00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:04,351
Furbalitis.
270
00:13:04,352 --> 00:13:06,288
Oh no!
271
00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,499
He came here to America for treatment.
272
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,701
I am so sorry.
273
00:13:11,702 --> 00:13:14,702
Welcome to our land!
274
00:13:14,739 --> 00:13:18,579
I will now wave and scoot away!
275
00:13:19,377 --> 00:13:20,777
[Laughs]
276
00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:22,979
We tricked the red robot.
277
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,181
Aw, poor Opee.
278
00:13:25,182 --> 00:13:29,252
I can't let that mean
girl take him away from me.
279
00:13:29,253 --> 00:13:31,688
Oh... this is so sad.
280
00:13:31,689 --> 00:13:34,090
Come on... Dice hasn't lost his dog yet.
281
00:13:34,091 --> 00:13:39,896
No. I'm sad about that old lady
who fell down and can't get up.
282
00:13:39,897 --> 00:13:41,618
Yeah.
283
00:13:41,619 --> 00:13:42,567
So food?
284
00:13:42,568 --> 00:13:47,368
- Yeah, I'm starved.
- Let's get some fries.
285
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:55,512
Hey! Guy...
286
00:13:55,513 --> 00:13:58,247
Oh my gosh, hi, hello.
287
00:13:58,248 --> 00:13:59,982
Welcome to this place.
288
00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:02,652
Would you please adopt an animal?!
289
00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:04,792
- Are you all right?
- Oh, yeah, why?
290
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:08,024
Because you seem like
you're having a heart attack.
291
00:14:08,025 --> 00:14:10,578
No, no. No. It's just
a little hot in here.
292
00:14:10,579 --> 00:14:12,724
- No, it's not.
- It's kinda cold.
293
00:14:12,725 --> 00:14:14,931
Ah jeez, then it's me.
294
00:14:14,932 --> 00:14:17,233
I should've never worn this sweater.
295
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,168
- Oh.
- Oh.
296
00:14:19,169 --> 00:14:22,109
Please don't leave!
297
00:14:23,374 --> 00:14:26,410
Look, we've been to seven
different animal shelters today.
298
00:14:26,411 --> 00:14:28,153
Because we're trying to find a dog...
299
00:14:28,154 --> 00:14:30,747
We have dogs! You can
have any dog here ya like!
300
00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:32,482
What is wrong with you?
301
00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:34,358
Ah, it's my boss.
302
00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:38,302
He says if I don't get more people to
adopt the dogs, he's gonna fire me...
303
00:14:38,303 --> 00:14:40,357
And I can't lose this job.
304
00:14:40,358 --> 00:14:43,860
I just bought a used Volvo.
305
00:14:43,861 --> 00:14:45,895
Please take a dog!
306
00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:49,065
- We wanna take a dog.
- Hot biscuits!
307
00:14:49,066 --> 00:14:50,778
But we already have a dog.
308
00:14:50,779 --> 00:14:52,154
Dang it!
309
00:14:52,155 --> 00:14:53,949
Actually, our friend Dice has a dog.
310
00:14:53,950 --> 00:14:54,863
Dice?!
311
00:14:54,864 --> 00:14:58,511
Yes, and we need to find another
dog that looks exactly like him.
312
00:14:58,512 --> 00:15:02,037
Ah, the old doggie switcheroo!
I get it, I get it, follow me!
313
00:15:02,038 --> 00:15:04,318
Follow me!
314
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,425
I liked him better with his sweater on.
315
00:15:07,426 --> 00:15:09,826
We all did.
316
00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:12,922
Here we go! Dogs, dogs, and more dogs!
317
00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:16,659
Just pick yourself a dipsy doodle
and we'll wrap him right up for ya!
318
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,294
What's a dipsy doodle?
319
00:15:18,295 --> 00:15:20,563
Ah, it's a dumb old expression.
320
00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:22,030
Why did I say it?!
321
00:15:22,031 --> 00:15:24,967
It's no wonder I got no friends.
322
00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:30,039
I think there's a lot of
reasons why ya got no friends.
323
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,496
Sam, come here!
324
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,657
[Barking]
325
00:15:34,445 --> 00:15:36,413
Whoa, he is perfect!
326
00:15:36,414 --> 00:15:39,549
Yeah yeah, that's a wonderful dog.
327
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:40,550
And look!
328
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:43,611
His name is Dang-er.
329
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:47,457
Hi little Dang-er!
330
00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:49,864
- Danger.
- Where?!?
331
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,086
No, I'm telling you that this...
332
00:15:52,087 --> 00:15:53,696
Why does his cage say "danger"?
333
00:15:53,697 --> 00:15:55,799
- Because he's dangerous.
- Ah!
334
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,977
But only if you pick him up! So long as you
don't pick him up, he's sweet like candy!
335
00:15:59,978 --> 00:16:03,372
Please take him! Without my
Volvo, I'm just a loser...
336
00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:05,374
Without a Volvo!
337
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:06,910
Okay, we'll take him.
338
00:16:06,911 --> 00:16:09,378
Yes! Who wants a hug?!
339
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:11,080
She does.
340
00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:13,241
[Whistle]
341
00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:23,897
There ya go, Opee. Eat your lasagna.
342
00:16:26,369 --> 00:16:29,352
Yeah, just hold still boy.
343
00:16:29,353 --> 00:16:34,270
Man, I cannot believe how
much that dog looks like Opee.
344
00:16:34,271 --> 00:16:35,538
Doesn't he?
345
00:16:35,539 --> 00:16:39,008
Ya know we had to talk to a
sweaty topless man to get him.
346
00:16:39,009 --> 00:16:39,909
[Doorbell]
347
00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:42,812
Ah, it's them! The dog dancer!
348
00:16:42,813 --> 00:16:44,380
Just clam down.
349
00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:47,268
- Take Opee to our room!
- Right!
350
00:16:47,269 --> 00:16:53,029
All right come on Opee, you
can finish your lasagna later!
351
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:55,877
- Here, I'll get the carrier.
- I'll pick him up and I'll put him in...
352
00:16:55,878 --> 00:16:57,594
- What? No-no-no-no-no!
- Oh!
353
00:16:57,595 --> 00:16:59,529
Remember?! If you pick
him up he gets violent.
354
00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:03,730
Ooh yeah, I forgot, he's dang-erous.
355
00:17:03,778 --> 00:17:05,368
[Knocking]
356
00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:06,915
Hold your pants!
357
00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:08,538
- Open the thing.
- Okay.
358
00:17:08,539 --> 00:17:12,183
- Come on in, boy!
- Yeah, good boy.
359
00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:15,484
- Open the door.
- Okay.
360
00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:17,210
- Hi.
- I want my dog.
361
00:17:17,211 --> 00:17:19,655
We have a court order that
says you have to give him back.
362
00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:22,298
And we can have a police officer
here in 20 minutes if you don't...
363
00:17:22,299 --> 00:17:23,953
- Oh, hey.
- What?
364
00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:25,822
Shut up.
365
00:17:25,823 --> 00:17:29,959
Your stupid dog's right here. Take him.
366
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,209
You're just gonna give him back to us?
367
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:37,010
Yeah, he's your dog.
What's right is right.
368
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:40,202
Why are you dressed all prissy?
369
00:17:40,203 --> 00:17:42,935
Because Cornelius and I
are performing this evening.
370
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,885
At the Winchester Dog
Dancing Competition.
371
00:17:45,886 --> 00:17:47,862
- Wait, that's tonight?
- Yep.
372
00:17:47,863 --> 00:17:50,863
And I'm going to win again.
373
00:17:50,864 --> 00:17:53,532
You don't even care about Opee, do ya?
374
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:56,135
His name's Cornelius
and what's your point?
375
00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:58,372
That the only reason
you ever wanted him back
376
00:17:58,373 --> 00:18:02,075
is so you can use him to win
your dumb dog dancing thing.
377
00:18:02,076 --> 00:18:05,676
It's not dumb, you're dumb.
378
00:18:06,273 --> 00:18:10,717
Perhaps you kids would like to
watch my daughter dog dance tonight.
379
00:18:10,718 --> 00:18:12,652
You're inviting us to the show?
380
00:18:12,653 --> 00:18:13,753
Oh no.
381
00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:15,822
But you can watch it on television.
382
00:18:15,823 --> 00:18:19,123
If you can afford cable.
383
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:25,865
I hate them so much!
384
00:18:25,866 --> 00:18:29,902
Don't worry about them. Come on, let's
go get Opee so he can finish his lasagna!
385
00:18:29,903 --> 00:18:32,491
- Oh yeah!
- Yay Opee! Lasagna!
386
00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:37,532
Yeah, go get Opee so he
can finish his lasagna.
387
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,285
Coming up next on the uh...
388
00:18:46,286 --> 00:18:48,721
Winchester Dog Dancing Competition.
389
00:18:48,722 --> 00:18:50,389
I was just gonna say that.
390
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:53,090
Yet you didn't.
391
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:56,020
I'm done peeing!
392
00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:57,596
Hi!
393
00:18:57,597 --> 00:18:58,930
Where's Dice?
394
00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:02,635
I dunno, but if he doesn't get here quick
we're watching this show without him.
395
00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:05,171
And uh... I thought you were
gonna put butter on this popcorn.
396
00:19:05,172 --> 00:19:08,541
Oh we're out of butter so I put honey.
397
00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:10,576
Yeah, not a good idea.
398
00:19:10,577 --> 00:19:12,737
Why not?
399
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,083
Now it's just a corn wad.
400
00:19:17,084 --> 00:19:20,186
Well, pass the wad, man.
401
00:19:20,187 --> 00:19:21,987
Oh.
402
00:19:22,189 --> 00:19:23,422
We're here!
403
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,616
Finally.
404
00:19:24,617 --> 00:19:26,258
Did that girl do her dog dance yet?!
405
00:19:26,259 --> 00:19:28,561
- No, we paused it.
- Yeah, we've been waiting for you.
406
00:19:28,562 --> 00:19:31,330
- Well, press play!
- I'm pressing play!
407
00:19:31,331 --> 00:19:35,301
Anyway... our next competitor
is a familiar face at this show.
408
00:19:35,302 --> 00:19:39,238
- She is a...
- Three-time champion, Alexa Bickley.
409
00:19:39,239 --> 00:19:41,774
Alexa will be dancing
with her delightful dog...
410
00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:43,995
Cornelius.
411
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:48,774
Alexa Bickley, and her dog Cornelius.
412
00:19:49,919 --> 00:19:51,512
Holy shnikeys!
413
00:19:51,513 --> 00:19:53,726
Cornelius is one good looking dog.
414
00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:57,027
Hey, don't hog the wad.
415
00:19:57,825 --> 00:20:01,060
Alexa Bickley is a favorite
at the WDB competition.
416
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:02,332
[Barks]
417
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,463
Cornelius! Strike your pose!
418
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,564
[Growls]
419
00:20:07,735 --> 00:20:09,835
Strange.
420
00:20:11,571 --> 00:20:14,418
Cornelius failed to
strike his opening pose.
421
00:20:14,419 --> 00:20:19,326
Yes. I hate it when dogs fail
to strike their opening poses.
422
00:20:19,327 --> 00:20:22,561
Ooh. And now Cornelius just laid down.
423
00:20:22,562 --> 00:20:27,177
I wonder if he's confused
about being neutered.
424
00:20:27,178 --> 00:20:31,782
Ha! She's got the wrong
dog and doesn't know it.
425
00:20:31,783 --> 00:20:35,417
How did you eat so much wad so fast?
426
00:20:35,418 --> 00:20:37,751
It doesn't look like
Alexa and Cornelius will
427
00:20:37,752 --> 00:20:40,791
beat Lisa and Jackson's
high score at 10.8.
428
00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:44,099
Her dog is still refusing to
participate in the dance routine.
429
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,046
Yep, this is not going well for Alexa.
430
00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:49,943
No, but here comes the part
where she picks up her dog,
431
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,120
and dances about with him in her arms.
432
00:20:52,121 --> 00:20:54,692
I know what comes next!
433
00:20:54,693 --> 00:20:56,562
[Growls]
434
00:20:56,563 --> 00:20:58,660
Oh here it comes...
435
00:20:58,661 --> 00:21:00,793
What is wrong with you?!
436
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:04,581
She shouldn't have picked him up.
437
00:21:04,582 --> 00:21:07,929
Good grief! Alexa's
dog is out of control!
438
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,028
- Cornelius!
- Yes, he's acting quite vicious.
439
00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:11,243
- Uh...
- Whoa!
440
00:21:11,244 --> 00:21:13,529
This is truly getting ugly.
441
00:21:13,530 --> 00:21:15,750
You, too.
442
00:21:16,165 --> 00:21:17,715
[Growling]
443
00:21:17,716 --> 00:21:19,275
[Girl screaming]
444
00:21:19,276 --> 00:21:21,317
I told you!
445
00:21:21,318 --> 00:21:23,076
[Girl screaming]
446
00:21:23,077 --> 00:21:27,434
Now Alexa's dog seems to
be trying to eat her foot.
447
00:21:27,435 --> 00:21:30,174
Oh, that poor girl.
448
00:21:30,175 --> 00:21:33,655
Hey, make another corn wad!
449
00:21:35,289 --> 00:21:38,409
Stop biting my tu-tu!
450
00:21:39,818 --> 00:21:41,855
I can't watch this.
451
00:21:41,856 --> 00:21:44,322
Well, I know what we can watch.
452
00:21:44,323 --> 00:21:46,843
"Toilet Wars"!
453
00:21:47,692 --> 00:21:50,294
We gotta get this
toilet working by seven!
454
00:21:50,295 --> 00:21:51,795
We're not gonna make it!
455
00:21:51,796 --> 00:21:53,297
We gotta make it!
456
00:21:53,298 --> 00:21:56,134
We got an arbitrarily
imposed time limit!
457
00:21:56,135 --> 00:21:58,854
This is such good television.
458
00:21:58,855 --> 00:22:02,215
Yeah... toilets are funny!
459
00:22:02,666 --> 00:22:05,606
I ate so much wad.
460
00:22:10,259 --> 00:22:12,091
- [Dog growling]
- [Girl screaming]
461
00:22:12,092 --> 00:22:16,398
Perhaps this would be a good
time to go to a commercial.
462
00:22:16,399 --> 00:22:20,341
I'm being told we can't
go to commercial...
463
00:22:20,342 --> 00:22:24,902
So instead let's call
Alexa an ambulance.
464
00:22:25,516 --> 00:22:28,336
I have no signal.
465
00:22:28,344 --> 00:22:29,275
Oh, well...
466
00:22:29,276 --> 00:22:32,754
- [Dog growling]
- [Girl screaming]
467
00:22:32,755 --> 00:22:38,655
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
Www.Addic7ed.Com.
32518
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
