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1
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,030
- We don't have time for this.
2
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,032
You're hurt. I get it.
3
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,825
Now, there's a way out of this.
4
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,410
Okay?
5
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,711
This never happened
to me before.
6
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,755
Really. Man.
7
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,383
Oh, man.
8
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,095
Damn it.
9
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,240
You never get a second chance
to make a first impression.
10
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:59,184
You know?
11
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,561
Hey! Oh, no, no, no, no! No!
12
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,524
This time it's loaded.
13
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,068
Six bullets, each
with your name on it
14
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,111
if you don't get out
of my car right now!
15
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,616
That said, I'm
willing to negotiate.
16
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:20,038
Oh, I guess Evelyn doesn't
like you very much.
17
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,498
I'll make you a deal.
18
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,750
You scooch over, I'll get
you out of this alive.
19
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:24,810
But you better think fast,
20
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,128
'cause that ain't
no birthday clown.
21
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,510
Okay, go!
22
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,183
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:46,064
Okay, L1, R1, up, down,
left, right, right, down, up.
24
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,945
All right, Evelyn,
we have nine days
25
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,238
to get away from this clown,
26
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,240
ditch this psychopathic
hitchhiker,
27
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,701
and make it to New Chicago.
28
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,327
Hey, look! You
forgot your seatbelt.
29
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,288
Agh!
30
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,604
- Here for the show?
31
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,482
- I'm definitely
here for the show!
32
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,668
Oh, shit!
33
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,017
- You're not coming to my show?
34
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:07,520
Well, then the show
is coming to you!
35
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,551
- Suppertime!
36
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:43,306
- Stu, I love you, but
this is all your fault.
37
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,516
- How was I supposed to know
38
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,743
the woods would be
crawling with butchers.
39
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,519
- They're talking about
getting us exiled.
40
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,479
You had to get caught
sleeping on duty!
41
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,523
- Hey! You were sleeping, too!
42
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,404
- I wasn't the one snoring
like a goat in heat!
43
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,567
- It's called sleep apnea.
44
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,795
It's a real medical condition.
45
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821
And it would be a
lot more manageable
46
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,657
if you hadn't traded in
my CPAP machine for porno.
47
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,510
- Well, excuse me for trying
to get you something dope
48
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,618
for your birthday!
49
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,786
- You know what's dope?
50
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,996
A full eight hours of sleep.
51
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,081
Dreaming is dope!
52
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,183
- Francis!
- What?
53
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,084
- Why did you season
both meat baths
54
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,335
in teriyaki sauce?
55
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,879
Francis, we talked about
diversifying flavors.
56
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,381
- Fine! Um...
57
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,383
Oh, I'll cover the thick
one in lemon pepper.
58
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,094
- No, no!
59
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,430
Oh, god, it's so tangy, dude!
60
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:25,140
- I call dibs on
the man titties.
61
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,439
- Holy cow!
62
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,316
- Clear!
63
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,330
- We don't usually
find the pigs alive
64
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:53,752
before the luau. You
can cut 'em loose.
65
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,295
Butchers!
66
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:58,715
They'd rather eat the flesh
of their own kind than starve.
67
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,971
You guys are guards?
68
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,931
- We, uh, we used to be.
69
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,892
Uh, Mike and I were...
- On a scouting mission
70
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,894
from Seattle looking
for trading routes.
71
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,771
Our car broke down and
the next thing you know
72
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,689
we're getting grabbed
by these assholes.
73
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,403
- We're always on the lookout
for upstanding citizens.
74
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,821
I'll give you guys a choice.
75
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,740
You can try and make
your way back up north
76
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,284
where it can be pretty dicey,
77
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,453
or if you can take the grit,
78
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,455
join us in bringing
law and order
79
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,125
back to the Divided
States of America.
80
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,044
What do you say?
81
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,842
- Come on.
82
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,139
- Sweet.
- All right.
83
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,016
Welcome to the law, huh?
84
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,518
- Yeah!
85
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,799
- You guys.
- Don't go dying on us.
86
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,357
- I can't believe
87
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,651
I already got a flat tire.
88
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,695
Way to go, John. Way to go.
89
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,824
Hey, silent but not very deadly,
90
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,593
you gonna come over here
and help me with this?
91
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:08,827
Don't shush me!
92
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,012
You come over here and
help me with the tire.
93
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,005
- I'm gonna handle this
shit. Watch my back.
94
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,464
Ahh!
95
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,758
Ah, shit. Ahh!
96
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:36,354
You can hide,
97
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,857
but I have ways to find you.
98
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:45,822
Marco! Marco!
99
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,490
- I'll be right back, Evelyn.
100
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,451
I'll get us outta here.
101
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,786
- Marco!
102
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:58,209
Damn! That usually works.
103
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,091
Huh?
104
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,844
- Shh.
105
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,324
Oh, shit.
106
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,898
- Marco.
107
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,123
- Well, hi there!
108
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,379
Oh, that tickled.
109
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,798
You know, my dad always
wanted to play catch,
110
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,591
but he could never catch a ball.
111
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,551
He could catch a bullet.
112
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,639
Why are you scurrying
away, little squirrel?
113
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,058
Looking for a nut?
114
00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:02,023
This is gonna be fun! Machete!
115
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,359
Huh, swung a little wide there.
116
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,197
Well, aren't we a
tall glass of water!
117
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:12,117
Me, I'm more of
a Hawaiian punch!
118
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:14,845
I'm guessing you
don't fight much
119
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,371
outside of your car now, do you?
120
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:19,332
- Look, clown, I don't need
four wheels to kick your ass.
121
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,550
Any chance we could get
this back in the cars?
122
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:36,391
- How about a little kill music?
123
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,421
- Do you love the
silver-haired god?
124
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,756
And don't lie to me.
125
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,965
- Yeah, man.
126
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,592
Look, I listened to
"Unleash the Dragon"
127
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,218
so many times the disc broke.
128
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,386
I'm not a liar.
129
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,388
- Well, you said you
were coming to my show
130
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,723
and then you shot at me!
131
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,350
- It was a misunderstanding.
132
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,436
I been getting shot at
ever since I can remember.
133
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,730
It's force of habit, I guess.
134
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,607
- Sounds like you
have trust issues.
135
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,941
- Yeah, you're not wrong.
136
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,651
Nice pipes, dude, I have to say.
137
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,112
That high note,
whoo! It was perfect.
138
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,448
- Oh, word?
- Yeah, can I go?
139
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,783
I got somewhere to be.
140
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,427
- I thought you said you
were coming to the show!
141
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,496
- Of course, I am.
142
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,415
Just can I leave after the show?
143
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:50,590
- Well, in that case,
tonight is opening night!
144
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,179
- How were your showers?
145
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,889
- Aw, I don't know the last time
146
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,392
I felt hot water that
wasn't my own piss.
147
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,643
Uh, sir.
148
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,186
- Consider it your recompense
149
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,313
for upholding law and order.
150
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:11,069
Warm showers, warm
blankets, warm meals.
151
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,197
- Oh.
- Aw, fuck, mashed potatoes?
152
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,117
- And goddamn,
look at all that gravy!
153
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,911
I wonder how we can get
one of those punch cards.
154
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,415
- Now, let's proceed
to your initiation.
155
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,545
Right this way, gentlemen.
156
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,967
What you see down there
is our supply truck.
157
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,802
It brings us
important provisions.
158
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,972
As you can see,
it's broken down.
159
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,890
That's why it's not moving.
160
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:45,186
What I need for you to do
is to protect that truck.
161
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,604
- From what?
162
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,481
- Seagulls.
163
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,199
- Skittles?
- No, I'm good.
164
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:01,202
- Pre-show jitters.
165
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,913
Listen, I really appreciate
you coming along willingly.
166
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,683
Normally I have to drag
people into the theater
167
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,958
kicking and screaming.
168
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,752
But word of advice,
169
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,212
you won't like what
happens if you run.
170
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,674
What? Oh, him?
171
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,925
Nah, he was here before.
172
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,052
Hey, Donald.
173
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,012
Don't worry, he can't hear us.
174
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:21,348
I love names. I'm
kind of a name guy.
175
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,683
You know, the right
one can send a shudder
176
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,851
down your spine.
177
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,895
Wanna know what I go by?
178
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,730
- There's not a person
on the West Coast
179
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,399
that hasn't heard
of Sweet Tooth.
180
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,567
- See what I mean?
181
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:36,154
I mean, you really feel
that in your bones!
182
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,531
What's your name, friend?
183
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,950
- John Doe.
184
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,744
- Nah, I'll give it a seven.
185
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,120
- Hey, I didn't pick it.
186
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,789
I don't know what
name I was born with
187
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,167
or who I am really.
188
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,753
- Oh, amnesia.
What's your brand?
189
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,714
Post-traumatic,
transient, dissociative?
190
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:55,816
- All I know is my first memory
191
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,801
is me waking up in my car
192
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,302
with blood coming
out of my head.
193
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,887
- Wait, that's my
first memory too!
194
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,139
My head covered in blood.
195
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,325
Of course, it was being pushed
196
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,743
out of my mom's
whisker biscuit, but...
197
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,893
- Whoa! You remember that?
198
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:10,397
- Oh, yeah. I
remember everything.
199
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,190
You should consider
yourself lucky.
200
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,734
There are some things
I wish I could forget.
201
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529
Like the time I shit my pants
202
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,490
in my elementary school
production of "Oklahoma".
203
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:24,160
I can still see the
audience's faces
204
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,705
laughing, mocking.
205
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,501
Did you know Sisqo's
real name was Mark?
206
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,637
- Oh, a rock.
207
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,516
- Man, what is wrong with you?
208
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,601
You holding in a
fart or something?
209
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,271
- If the truck is so important,
why don't they just move it?
210
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,440
Something doesn't
smell right, man.
211
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,608
- Smells good to me.
212
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,569
Back in Seattle, they
treated us like morons.
213
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,405
Now look at us; we
holding .30-cals, dude!
214
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,033
Come on, baby, get
your head in the game.
215
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,785
Come on. Come on.
216
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,620
There you go.
- Fuck you!
217
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,456
- Eyes up, boys.
218
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,977
Those seagulls lay a
fingernail on our supplies,
219
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,503
it's open season.
220
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,921
- What the hell?
221
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,965
Hey, why do you
call 'em seagulls?
222
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,675
These look like normal
survivors to me.
223
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,636
- What else would you call a
bunch of fucking trash eaters?
224
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,232
- Dude, are we really
gonna kill these guys?
225
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,488
- There's one left, Stu.
226
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,323
He's all yours.
227
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,378
Clean it up!
228
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,683
Melon down.
229
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,184
- I saved your ass.
230
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,853
- Seagulls,
butchers, exiles.
231
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,190
They see the world
in shades of gray.
232
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,859
What I need from you two lawmen
233
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,069
is to just show them
234
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,697
that there's only two
colors in the world,
235
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:27,283
black and blue.
236
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:31,246
Now, you missed, Stu.
It can happen to anyone.
237
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,790
Rookie mistake.
238
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,835
Hey, don't let it happen again.
239
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,464
Okay.
240
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,342
You guys want some burgers?
241
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,428
- Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
242
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,138
Tip of the teat,
tip of the teat.
243
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,597
Tip of the teat.
244
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:54,144
My marvelous mutterer
makes me mingy on Monday.
245
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,271
- You sleep here?
246
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,064
What, the penthouse
was booked up?
247
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,983
- Nah, way too much
space up there.
248
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,192
Nice bidet, though.
249
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,445
Like taking a
shotgun up the ass.
250
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,947
No, I sleep here
because it reminds me
251
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,366
of where I was before Vegas.
252
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,327
Back then, I lived with a
real solid group of dudes.
253
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,998
But then the world took a
shit and I came to Sin City.
254
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,460
Now that was a party.
255
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,087
- You've been here alone
for over two decades?
256
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,007
- Oh, shit, has
it been that long?
257
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,258
Look at this guy.
258
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,886
Hasn't aged a day.
What a beauty.
259
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,262
Nah, I'm not alone.
260
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,264
I got Harold, which, have you...
261
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,932
You haven't met Harold yet.
262
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,769
I'm gonna introduce you.
263
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,396
This is Harold.
264
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,607
Been my best friend
since I was a kid.
265
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,901
You know, my entire life
people have been lying to me.
266
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,362
Even my fucking parents!
267
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,405
But, uh, never Harold.
268
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,950
No, he can't lie to me.
He can't lie to anyone.
269
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,535
- I can see that.
270
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,622
- I don't know what
I'd do without him.
271
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,665
Look at that smile.
272
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,376
So, you got a Harold?
273
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,628
- No. I got an Evelyn.
274
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,296
- Oh, that's cute.
275
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:07,467
- Before I met her, being
alone was all I knew.
276
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,969
You know, she makes
everything easier, you know?
277
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:13,640
Sometimes I wish I could
make her laugh. Right?
278
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,308
I have to say
after all this time
279
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,894
that's the sound
I miss the most.
280
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,146
- You know
what sound I miss the most?
281
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,149
The sound of hand meat
clapping together.
282
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,568
Nothing like that
glorious applause.
283
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,380
I mean, it's almost
better than, I don't know,
284
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,406
hearing somebody choking
on their own blood.
285
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,241
But look at me
getting carried away.
286
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,535
Good thing that your
Evelyn's got hands, huh?
287
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,495
She must clap for
you all the time.
288
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,831
- Nah, she doesn't.
She's my car.
289
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,290
- You talk to your car?
290
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,836
That's weird, man.
291
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:47,173
Ah, mwah! There you are.
292
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:51,261
So, if Evelyn's not
the girl, who's she?
293
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:56,558
I caught this little pest
crawling through my vents.
294
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,435
See, I was gonna starve her.
295
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,437
Watching the life slowly
drain from their eyes.
296
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,814
Kind of my artistic process.
297
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:08,278
You know, the last guy
lasted almost four weeks.
298
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,821
Hey, Wilbur!
299
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,157
I think she's gonna give
you a run for you money.
300
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,616
She won't.
301
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,370
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
302
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,914
- Hey, you tried to kill
me every chance you get.
303
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,666
Why should I show you mercy?
304
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,713
Goddamn it!
305
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,886
Hey, man, why don't
you let her out?
306
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,388
- And why would I do that?
- No, no, no, listen.
307
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,349
What good is an audience of one?
308
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,100
Think about all
the meat slapping
309
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,729
you'll hear with four hands.
310
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,898
- Ah, that's true.
311
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,358
I don't often get feedback
312
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:50,111
from the 18 to 35
female demographic.
313
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:53,365
Fine!
314
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,575
You fish her out
and take a seat.
315
00:17:55,617 --> 00:18:00,163
Don't worry, I got a
table just for you.
316
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:02,332
- And what happens
after the show?
317
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,876
- Well, you go on
your merry way.
318
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,503
- Really?
319
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,754
- Well, if I'm being honest,
320
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,882
nobody has survived
all three acts.
321
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,592
Gird your loins!
322
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,719
- Tonight, you will be enjoying
323
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,774
white tiger prepared three ways.
324
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,068
There's a whole pack of
those milky white assholes
325
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,945
breeding up on the fourth floor.
326
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,905
Anyway, enjoy.
327
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,532
Bony tit!
328
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:40,721
- Give me back those
keys! Hey, hey!
329
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:41,871
If it wasn't for me,
330
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,873
you would be a starving
corpse right now.
331
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:57,929
Listen, neither one of us
made it pretty far on our own.
332
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:02,058
So, instead of us trying to...
Holy shit, this steak is good.
333
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,786
Instead of us trying to
stab each other in the back,
334
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,496
we should put our heads
together and figure out
335
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,720
how in the hell we're going
to make it through the show.
336
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,651
Is any of this getting
through to you?
337
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,742
Blink twice for yes.
338
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,871
Cool, we're fucked.
339
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,424
- Tonight, I will be presenting
a one-man play entitled
340
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:37,552
"That's In-Room Entertainment",
341
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:40,305
based on the hotel's
in-room entertainment.
342
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,980
Hi, I'm Debra from
guest services.
343
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,316
And welcome to Nevada!
344
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:55,236
Deep in the heart of
Vegas is the Monte Cristo,
345
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,739
a veritable oasis in the sand.
346
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,454
And don't forget
about our promenade.
347
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,498
It features all
the latest brands
348
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,793
and is just a stone's
throw from the salon.
349
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,004
Girl, might be time to take
care of those split ends!
350
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,554
And for all you
lovebirds out there,
351
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:26,309
Las Vegas is still the
marriage capital of the world.
352
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,728
Time for kisses!
353
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:36,736
And you have selected
express checkout.
354
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,864
Please leave your
key at the drop box
355
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,701
at the front desk.
356
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:46,037
And thank you for
staying with us.
357
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,340
Well, we've come to the Q&A
358
00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,343
where I ask the Q's
or I kick your A.
359
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:03,304
So, now is the moment of truth.
360
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,056
What do you think?
361
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:12,856
- Oh, um, I loved it.
362
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,316
- Liar!
363
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,902
What exactly did
you love about it?
364
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,654
- Uh, your performance!
I was moved!
365
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,952
What? It was a tour de force!
366
00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:29,372
- I am gonna tour de force
this machete down your throat!
367
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,583
If you're not gonna
tell the truth,
368
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,252
then I'm gonna make
you shut up and bleed.
369
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:37,047
- It was a fucking snooze-fest.
370
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,090
- Now you talk?
371
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,151
- What the hell did you say?
372
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:42,260
- It sucked.
373
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,928
Your performance was
dull as dick water
374
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,431
and frankly beneath you.
375
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,224
- And you?
376
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:49,976
You agree with her?
377
00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:59,652
- Yes. I agree with her.
378
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,948
Come on, man, it was boring.
379
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:04,967
I get it, you've
been here forever,
380
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,785
but you did a play
about a hotel!
381
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:13,416
- But didn't Mark Twain say
you should write what you know?
382
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,709
- Well, Mark Twain's a dumbass.
383
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:16,103
You gotta get out
in the world, man.
384
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:17,504
- Yeah. Look, trust me,
385
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,382
you don't want to spend the
rest of your life alone.
386
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:21,966
You end up talking to a car.
387
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:23,593
- Yeah, like this guy.
388
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:25,261
- You know what? You're right.
389
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:27,013
I can't wait here
for my audience.
390
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:30,892
I need to get out there
and hunt my audience down.
391
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:31,994
- Oh, no, no, that's
not what I meant.
392
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,937
- No, that's exactly
what you meant.
393
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,940
I'm gonna get out there, and
I'm gonna embrace the chaos.
394
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:41,403
Who knows, maybe I'll
even fall in love!
395
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:44,030
The show is going on the road!
396
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:56,084
- That was beautiful, man!
397
00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:19,816
- Well, a night of firsts.
398
00:23:19,858 --> 00:23:21,067
My first honest critique,
399
00:23:21,109 --> 00:23:23,778
first people I ever
let leave here alive,
400
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:27,824
but most importantly,
my first two fans.
401
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,576
You two.
402
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,911
I got you a headshot.
403
00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:33,788
There's an inscription in that.
404
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:36,666
- "See you soon."
- I hope not.
405
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,252
- Hey, thanks for being honest.
406
00:24:52,242 --> 00:24:53,594
- You know, I
have to admit I didn't think
407
00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:56,454
we were gonna make it
out of there alive.
408
00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:57,807
I mean, it would have
been a lot easier
409
00:24:57,831 --> 00:24:59,475
if you had piped up instead
of just trying to...
410
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:01,042
Oh, come on! Have
you learned nothing?
411
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,297
What is your problem anyway?
412
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,441
- I'm trying to find someone.
413
00:25:07,465 --> 00:25:08,401
- Well, I'm trying
to get somewhere,
414
00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:09,360
and I lost a hell
of a lot of time
415
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,136
watching that god-awful play.
416
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,348
If you put the gun
down, I'll drop you off
417
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:17,600
as close as I can to
where you're going. Deal?
418
00:25:17,642 --> 00:25:19,978
- Fine. But I'm
keeping the gun.
419
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,420
- No, come on, that one's new.
All right, all right, take it.
420
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:29,696
What's your name anyway?
421
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:34,284
Okay, I'll start.
Hi, I'm John.
422
00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:36,453
You're...?
423
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:38,538
Bridget?
424
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:40,040
Yolanda? Jennifer?
425
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,752
Okay. So, since you
like to be quiet,
426
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:45,462
that's what I'm gonna
call you: Quiet.
427
00:25:45,503 --> 00:25:48,131
Is that okay, Quiet?
- Yep.
428
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,984
- So, you're really not
gonna tell me your name?
429
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,676
- Nope.
430
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:54,304
- Fine.
431
00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:55,906
Makes it easier when
I drop your ass off
432
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:58,433
in the middle of nowhere, Quiet.
433
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:06,483
Sack up, newbs.
434
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:09,194
Got a live one.
435
00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:10,987
I'll stop the vehicle
436
00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:13,073
and demand to see their
open road license.
437
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:15,075
If they don't got
it, they don't pass.
438
00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:20,372
What?
439
00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,499
- Hey, sorry, just one question.
440
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:24,876
Where do we bring 'em?
441
00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:28,755
Oh, and why are
we stopping them?
442
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:31,508
And what's an open road license?
443
00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:33,843
Is it common at the...
- Just get in.
444
00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:36,054
- We learn on the
job. I respect that.
445
00:26:36,888 --> 00:26:37,907
- I've never seen a checkpoint
446
00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,891
that wasn't outside
of a settlement.
447
00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:41,118
And these guys
aren't on the map.
448
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:43,895
So, more delays.
449
00:26:43,937 --> 00:26:44,979
Let me do all the talking.
450
00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,374
I deal with these
guys all the time.
451
00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:49,192
I speak their lingo.
452
00:26:49,234 --> 00:26:51,986
- Hey, ORL, please.
453
00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:54,406
- Did you just ask me for oral?
454
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:58,243
- Uh, no, sir. ORL.
455
00:26:58,284 --> 00:26:59,911
Open road license.
456
00:26:59,953 --> 00:27:02,539
- That's an awful acronym.
457
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:04,541
Hey, look, I'm just a milkman.
458
00:27:04,582 --> 00:27:07,168
I'm just passing
through, man. Come on.
459
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:08,795
And you guys look
great, by the way.
460
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:10,130
I love your shirts, man.
461
00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:11,983
What are you, like a club
or a team or something?
462
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:14,718
- We're officers. Of the law.
463
00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:17,262
- Ah, angry black
friend. Okay.
464
00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:29,065
Hey, where... Get
back in the car!
465
00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:30,442
- Listen to your friend!
466
00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:31,818
- Eat my ass, motherfucker!
32975
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