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1
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J“ it may be you j“
2
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:28,541
j“ who know, who knows j“
3
00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:31,832
j“ dreams can come true j“
4
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:35,957
j“ suppose, suppose j"
5
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:39,707
j“ love's wheel of fortune j“
6
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:43,541
j“ turning, turning j"
7
00:01:43,542 --> 00:01:47,291
j“ that's old and young hearts j"
8
00:01:47,292 --> 00:01:51,874
j“ yearning, yearning j“
9
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:55,166
j“ will it be lucky me j"
10
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:59,374
j“ wait and see j"
11
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:03,082
j“ it may be you j“
12
00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:06,957
j“ 80 close your eyes j"
13
00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:10,457
j“ dream that your arms j“
14
00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:14,666
j“ enfold the prize j"
15
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:19,667
j“ love is a lottery, it's true j"
16
00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,666
j'yetj'
17
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:26,041
j“ someone must win j”
18
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:28,708
j“ it may be you j“
19
00:02:33,917 --> 00:02:34,792
We want Rex!
20
00:02:34,793 --> 00:02:37,500
We want Rex!
21
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:42,792
We want Rex!
22
00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:44,708
We want Rex!
23
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,707
All right
now, break it up, girls.
24
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:49,542
Break it up.
25
00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:51,291
Break it up, girls.
26
00:02:51,292 --> 00:02:55,166
Divide the gangway, clear the stainnay.
27
00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:57,333
Make way for Mr. Allerton.
28
00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:14,375
Rex, Rex, Rex,
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex.
29
00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:23,958
We want allerton, we want Rex.
30
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:27,541
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex,
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex,
31
00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:31,499
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex,
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex,
32
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,582
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex,
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex.
33
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,042
- Jennings.
34
00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:38,499
Have I ever made a film
called "tonight for sure?"
35
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,582
- No, sir.
36
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,624
- You're certain?
37
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:41,625
- Quite certain.
38
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:43,624
- Oh, I had a dream,
39
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,916
I was at the world premiere of this film.
40
00:04:45,917 --> 00:04:47,749
The fans tore me to bits.
41
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,124
- Indeed, sir.
42
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:52,249
Mr. Ritchie cave had that
very same dream, sir.
43
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,749
- Ritchie cave?
44
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,957
Oh, I remember him, he
was a very big film star.
45
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:57,332
What's become of him?
46
00:04:57,333 --> 00:05:00,000
- He's not yet discharged
from the nursing home, sir.
47
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,499
Oh, I believe he's making
excellent progress.
48
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,833
He's weaving baskets and is
allowed to cut up his own food.
49
00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:08,999
- The same dream?
50
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000
- Yes, sir.
51
00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:14,374
- I'm not sure that I'd
mind a nice nursing home.
52
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:17,999
There's bound to be some quiet
place with loads of privacy.
53
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,708
- I'll see to your breakfast, sir.
54
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,374
- Just ahead and directly on the left
55
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,957
is the residence of Mr. Rex allerton.
56
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:42,791
Mr. Allerton formerly
lived in beverley hills
57
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:45,916
but recently bought this
property to have more privacy.
58
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:48,499
Shall we all show how much
we admire Mr. Allerton
59
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,749
by saying, "good morning!"
60
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,750
Yoo-hoo!
61
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,833
Rexy!
62
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,292
Hello there, gorgeous.
63
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:12,667
Who do you think you are?
64
00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:15,417
Get out of my way, you big twerp!
65
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:19,332
Get out of my way, you old man, come on.
66
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,833
Get out of my way.
67
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:23,208
- Oh, rexy, oh!
68
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,750
Rexy!
69
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:32,875
Oh!
70
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,291
- I found them in your dressing room, sir.
71
00:06:35,292 --> 00:06:36,916
They were going through your things.
72
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:37,999
- Rex.
- Rex.
73
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,707
- Oh, Rex.
- Oh, Rex.
74
00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:41,374
- We didn't ant to steal anything.
75
00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:44,124
We only wanted some of
your old socks or hankies,
76
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:44,958
things like that.
77
00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,541
- Isn't that stealing?
78
00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:48,666
- Well, we're your fans.
79
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:50,000
- Let them go, Jennings.
80
00:06:51,292 --> 00:06:55,125
- Oh, Rex.
81
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,333
Gee, thanks, Rex.
82
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:15,833
- Hold it, Mr. Allerton.
83
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:17,457
Back up, Mr. Allerton.
84
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,082
- Well I read the script,
it was strictly from hunger,
85
00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:44,166
so I sent for my agent and
I said, "look, chowderhead,
86
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,916
I don't pay you 10% to ruin me."
87
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:48,625
- Can I have the clinch
position please, Mr. Allerton?
88
00:07:50,042 --> 00:07:51,457
Now, quiet now, roll 'em.
89
00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:52,916
- So, off I went to the front office
90
00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:55,832
and I laid down the law, believe you me.
91
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:57,207
Four, two, five, take one.
92
00:07:57,208 --> 00:07:58,374
- You can tear up my
contract, I told them.
93
00:07:58,375 --> 00:07:59,749
Get yourselves another girl.
94
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,666
Okay, kids, here we go.
95
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,624
Ready, action!
96
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:05,541
- Sorry, perspiration.
97
00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:07,125
- Come along, maxie.
- Sorry.
98
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:09,916
Settle down now.
99
00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:10,917
Action!
100
00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:17,707
- Your kisses are like fire.
101
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,582
- They burn with my love for you.
102
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,207
- I cannot let you go.
103
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,249
The swordsman you face is
the most dangerous blade
104
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,083
in Europe.
105
00:08:24,084 --> 00:08:27,750
- The scoundrel dared to Sully
your fair name, he must die.
106
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:30,333
Cut!
107
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:31,208
Okay, very good.
108
00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,291
- "I could go back to Broadway," I said,
109
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:34,874
"and what about television?"
110
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,957
Well, you should have seen their faces.
111
00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:38,916
"And another thing," I said, "what about
112
00:08:38,917 --> 00:08:41,124
the act of god clause in my contract?
113
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,124
Just for spite, I could have a baby."
114
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:45,875
Furthermore, when I
went into the office...
115
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:53,292
- Tough day, eh, Rex?
116
00:08:53,293 --> 00:08:55,000
- Oh, about the same as usual, maxie.
117
00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,874
- I'll peel this rug off first.
118
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:00,999
Then I'll give you a
nice relaxing massage.
119
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,624
That's what I always used
to do for ritchie cave.
120
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:04,458
- Ritchie cave?
121
00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:07,124
Well, that's the actor they
had to put away, isn't it?
122
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,541
- Only temporarily.
123
00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:10,332
He's getting along fine.
124
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:11,874
I went to see him a couple of weeks ago
125
00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:13,749
and took him some coloured paper.
126
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,792
He likes to make cutout pictures.
127
00:09:17,292 --> 00:09:20,291
Funny thing about Mr. Cave, one day
128
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:22,707
he was just as normal as you or me.
129
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,499
And yet, that same night, he
went to every theatre in town
130
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,207
that was showing one of his pictures
131
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:28,624
and shot the screen full of holes.
132
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,917
Now why would he want
to do a thing like that?
133
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,707
Relax now, take it easy.
134
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,625
You've got plenty of time till
they line up the next shot.
135
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:39,667
Relax.
136
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,375
Relax.
137
00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:54,292
Oh Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou, Romeo?
138
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:58,749
Five minutes,
please, Mr. Allerton.
139
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,582
Mr. Allerton, five minutes, please.
140
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,874
Curtain going up, Mr. Allerton.
141
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:12,582
- He jests at scars
who never felt a wound.
142
00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:13,666
Soft.
143
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:16,332
What light through yonder window breaks?
144
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:19,167
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
145
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,957
It is my lady, oh, it is my love.
146
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:25,417
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand?
147
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,499
Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand
148
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,832
that I might touch that cheek.
149
00:10:30,833 --> 00:10:31,667
- Golly.
150
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:32,500
- She speaks.
151
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,207
Oh, speak again, bright angel.
152
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:36,249
For thou art as glorious to this night
153
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,624
as is the winged messenger of heaven.
154
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:40,416
- Oh, boy!
155
00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,749
J“ Romeo, Romeo j“
156
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:46,457
j“ wherefore art thou Romeo j"
157
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,582
- What did you want to do that for, Rex?
158
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,167
- I'm sorry, maxie.
159
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:57,916
I must have been asleep.
160
00:10:57,917 --> 00:10:59,249
Are you alright?
161
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,167
- Yes.
162
00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,416
The assistant director was here,
163
00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:04,666
they've cancelled the
afternoon call, you're free.
164
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:05,667
- Free.
165
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,791
Free.
166
00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:10,582
- You all right, Rex?
167
00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:12,124
- Yes, I'm fine.
168
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:14,457
Maxie, do me a favour,
call o.D. Stanton's office
169
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,874
and tell his secretary I'm
coming up there right away.
170
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:17,708
- Okay.
171
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:18,957
Stanton here.
172
00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:20,832
Joe, I've got Rex allerton with me.
173
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:23,207
He's tired, he needs a
vacation, understand?
174
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:24,167
- Yes, Mr. Stanton.
- Right.
175
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:27,082
Fix him a trip to Europe,
Paris, Rome, London.
176
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:28,666
Cable all our offices,
177
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:31,791
I want this planned like
a campaign, understand?
178
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:32,667
- Yes, Mr. Stanton.
- Right.
179
00:11:32,668 --> 00:11:34,832
Get the press lined up
in all the territories.
180
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,874
With our organisation behind
him, Rex should knock 'em cold.
181
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,124
I want press receptions, personals,
182
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,624
banquets, interviews with
royalty, hints at romance.
183
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:46,041
I want Rex to have a
wonderful time, understand?
184
00:11:46,042 --> 00:11:47,707
- Yes, Mr. Stanton.
- Right.
185
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,666
- Oliver, please, I don't want a vacation,
186
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,500
I just want to get away, for good.
187
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:55,958
- Do you mean leave the studio?
188
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,042
Leave Hollywood?
189
00:11:59,042 --> 00:11:59,875
Rex.
190
00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:01,332
- Well, I'm just not getting anywhere.
191
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,749
- Well you've got the second
biggest fan mail in the studio,
192
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,542
second only to fang the wonder dog.
193
00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:07,916
- Thank you.
194
00:12:07,917 --> 00:12:09,416
Oh, Oliver, look, I know there's lots
195
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:10,999
of worthwhile work done
here, but none of it
196
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,166
seems to come my way.
197
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,582
- Well, you make people happy, Rex,
198
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:14,832
isn't that worthwhile?
199
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:16,041
- Oh sure, three times a year,
200
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,999
I go waltzing through that casbah,
201
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,249
or swing form a chandelier,
holding a sword in one hand
202
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,582
and a blonde in the other.
203
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,916
I'm an actor, Oliver, not
a performing goldfish.
204
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,624
- You give people escape
from their drab surroundings
205
00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:28,499
into a world of colour and-
- escape.
206
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,916
Why does everything have to be an escape?
207
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,499
Movies are an escape, radio,
television, advertising,
208
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:33,957
all acting as escapes.
209
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,041
What about reality?
210
00:12:35,042 --> 00:12:36,291
- Who'll pay for reality?
211
00:12:36,292 --> 00:12:37,874
They've got reality.
212
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:39,291
They hate it.
213
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,292
Come in.
214
00:12:41,542 --> 00:12:42,375
What is it, fellas?
215
00:12:42,376 --> 00:12:43,999
Can't you see I'm busy?
216
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,166
- Sorry, Mr. Stanton.
217
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:46,999
You said five o'clock for the picture.
218
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:47,875
- Okay, fellas.
219
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:48,875
Sorry, Rex.
220
00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:55,291
Well, how's my boy, huh?
221
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:58,458
Say, his nose seems kinda hot and dry.
222
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,167
Is he all right?
223
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:03,332
- He's pretty tired, Mr.
- Stanton, he's had a hard day.
224
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,332
Bob, get down here and get a nice big shot
225
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,791
of Mr. Stanton and fang.
226
00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:08,625
Get down to it.
227
00:13:08,626 --> 00:13:11,916
- Rex, I know this isn't the
old Vic or stratford-on-avon,
228
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,541
it's a studio, a business.
229
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,166
We make what we hope will
please a lot of people.
230
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:17,542
- You ready, Mr. Stanton?
231
00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:19,917
- Okay, fellas.
232
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:22,457
But it takes teamwork, you, me.
233
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:23,749
- And fang the wonder dog.
234
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:24,957
- Yes, and fang.
235
00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:28,082
And I'd make pictures with a
mongoose or a boa constrictor
236
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,874
if that's what the fans wanted.
237
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,291
- Fans.
238
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:32,624
Have you ever had any fans, Oliver?
239
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:35,624
I've got millions of them,
all organised into clubs.
240
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:37,916
I'm a public utility.
241
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,207
Anybody who pays a quarter
to see me on the screen
242
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:42,041
automatically buys the right to use me,
243
00:13:42,042 --> 00:13:43,166
to tell me what to do.
244
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:44,957
If I vote for this side, I'm a communist.
245
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,416
If I vote for that, I'm a fascist.
246
00:13:46,417 --> 00:13:49,249
If I don't vote at all, I'm
evading my duties as a citizen.
247
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,332
Vegetarians tell me not to eat meat.
248
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,207
Temperance groups yap if I take a drink.
249
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,957
They yap if I smoke, they
yap if I don't smoke.
250
00:13:54,958 --> 00:13:56,249
They yap, yap, yap, yap,
251
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,124
Yap, yap, yap yap...
252
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:06,083
Well, what's that?
253
00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:08,083
Convention of fang's fan clubs?
254
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,499
- Someone in publicity dreamed up a stunt
255
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,624
to have the studio
launch a worldwide search
256
00:14:13,625 --> 00:14:15,791
for the perfect mate for fang.
257
00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:16,750
- Perfect mate for fang?
258
00:14:16,751 --> 00:14:17,832
- Mm-hmm.
259
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:19,374
- Well, why not, the poor
brute works hard enough,
260
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:20,416
he ought to get something out of it.
261
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:22,457
As a matter of fact, I'm a
just a teeny weeny bit jealous.
262
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,582
- You are, huh?
263
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,541
Okay, son, we'll fix you too.
264
00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:27,666
Rodney Wheeler's dreamed
up a good stunt for you
265
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,207
and he's waiting to see you now.
266
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:30,582
- To find the perfect mate for me?
267
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,749
- Rodney's column appears
in 700 newspapers,
268
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,457
and on the air he reaches millions.
269
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,791
Now you be nice to him.
270
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:37,708
- Oh, sure.
271
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,832
Oliver, is my nose rather hot and dry?
272
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:41,499
- I'll go along with you myself.
273
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:42,749
The personal touch, huh?
274
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,166
- Yeah, I can feel it right
between the shoulder blades.
275
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:52,124
- Great stunt for circulation
and a wonderful idea
276
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,791
for you and your pictures, Rex.
277
00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:57,416
The column does a big feature every year.
278
00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,249
It's for frustrated people.
279
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:00,666
Make your dreams come true.
280
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,166
And the prize is a car, or a cruise,
281
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,791
or a trip to Europe, or a new wardrobe.
282
00:15:06,792 --> 00:15:08,832
Something they've been longing for.
283
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,791
But this year, they'll get a prize
284
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:14,124
that nobody can top, a
prize they'll never forget.
285
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:17,333
An entire week in Hollywood
as the guest of Rex allerton.
286
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:20,375
- Why only a week?
287
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:23,208
Oh.
288
00:15:23,209 --> 00:15:24,541
You don't like the idea.
289
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:26,332
- Oh, I think it's a fine idea.
290
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,999
I just don't think the prize
is big enough, that's all.
291
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,374
You see, you both think that
dog actors are the only ones
292
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,791
that give their all to the public.
293
00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:36,874
You underestimate the human
section of our profession.
294
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,832
For 10 years, you've
been waving me at women
295
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,707
like a red rag at a bull.
296
00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,041
You've been teasing them with
autographs of Rex allerton,
297
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,916
photographs of Rex allerton,
a day with Rex allerton.
298
00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:48,082
Now you want to give them
a week with Rex allerton.
299
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,541
Oh, let's stop teasing them, Oliver.
300
00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:52,874
If his readers really
want me, they can have me.
301
00:15:52,875 --> 00:15:54,832
Not just bits and pieces and tantalising
302
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:55,750
little odds and ends.
303
00:15:55,751 --> 00:15:57,374
They can have the lot.
304
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:59,207
I'll marry the winner.
305
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,624
- That's a pretty good story right there.
306
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:02,374
- But Rodney, you can't!
307
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,457
He tracts everything, don't you, Rex?
308
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:05,542
- Not a word.
309
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,832
The perfect mate for Rex
the wonder boy, okay?
310
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,957
- Attaboy, the love lottery, fine idea.
311
00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:12,374
And what a prize.
312
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,541
Well, I've just got time
to make the eastern papers.
313
00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:16,417
Thank you so much, goodbye.
314
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:18,542
- Woof woof.
315
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:22,457
- Is this gonna be your
attitude from now on?
316
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:23,292
- Who knows?
317
00:16:23,293 --> 00:16:25,749
I may be entering upon
my uncooperative phase.
318
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:26,667
People change, you know.
319
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:28,374
In reality, that is.
320
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:31,541
- Reality may not be all
you think it is, Rex.
321
00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:35,166
I hope you don't have to make
that discovery for yourself.
322
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:36,167
- Woof woof woof.
323
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:49,832
- Good night, Mr. Allerton.
324
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,791
- Hey, how about me for
the consolation prize?
325
00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:52,750
- Oh, any time.
326
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:53,583
Good night.
327
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:55,041
- Good night.
- Good night, sir.
328
00:16:55,042 --> 00:16:56,666
- Mothers of america.
329
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,374
If your children bring home
poor reports from school,
330
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:01,707
perhaps the fault is yours.
331
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:04,749
Unbiased scientists working
in soundproof laboratories
332
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,999
have discovered that a hot breakfast
333
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,082
is more than twice as nourishing
as no breakfast at all.
334
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:14,082
Give your children sludge for breakfast
335
00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:17,082
and see the marked
improvement in their work.
336
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,249
And remember, mothers of america,
337
00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:21,249
that sludge is the only cereal
338
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,542
that will not leak in a plane.
339
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:27,875
And now, back to Rodney Wheeler
and the news from Hollywood.
340
00:17:30,042 --> 00:17:32,874
- Mr. Rex allerton tells
me that his suggestion
341
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,332
about a love lottery was inspired
342
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,374
by the contest now
being run to find a mate
343
00:17:36,375 --> 00:17:39,374
for fang the wonder
dog of parnassus films.
344
00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:40,916
Well, the studio decided today
345
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,291
to rewrite "sagebrush justice,"
346
00:17:43,292 --> 00:17:47,499
which was to be Rex's
new film, for guess who?
347
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,666
Fang the wonder dog.
348
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:52,124
Very funny, eh Rex?
349
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,082
Furthermore, judging from the attitude
350
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,291
of the studio executives,
I wouldn't be surprised
351
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,958
if Rex has joked himself
right out of his contract.
352
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,124
- Isn't it great to be back?
353
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:24,457
- It's a fine change for you, sir.
354
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:26,832
- You'll see my name up
there before long, Jennings.
355
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:28,208
- Most gratifying, sir.
356
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,750
I'll take these to the valet.
357
00:18:33,875 --> 00:18:35,916
I wouldn't admit anybody, sir.
358
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,957
The staff tells me that
fans and autograph hunters
359
00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:39,749
have been all over the hotel.
360
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,750
- I'll look the door.
- Thank you, sir.
361
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:46,125
- Good night.
- Good night, sir.
362
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,417
- You've locked the
wrong door, Mr. Allerton.
363
00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,041
- How did you get in here?
364
00:18:59,042 --> 00:19:01,999
- I'm not a curiosity seeker,
or an autograph hunter,
365
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Mr. Allerton.
366
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:04,667
Permit me.
367
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:09,916
I am Andre amico,
chairman of the syndicate.
368
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:12,166
Our head office is in tremaggio,
369
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:14,874
a peaceful paradise on
a earth, Mr. Allerton.
370
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,416
You shall visit it.
371
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:19,582
- "International
syndicate of computation."
372
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:20,957
What do you compute?
373
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:22,499
- Odds, Mr. Allerton.
374
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,957
- — Odds?
- Odds.
375
00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:26,124
- As in football pools and horse racing?
376
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,083
- Always in relation to human nature.
377
00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:33,707
Suppose I were to let you
cry heads or tails, or both,
378
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,791
and laid you odds of three to one.
379
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:38,249
- Well, I'd cover both,
and you'd lose every time.
380
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,374
- Now that's human nature.
381
00:19:39,375 --> 00:19:40,375
Now watch.
382
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,416
And that, Mr. Allerton, is the syndicate.
383
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:48,457
Actually, quite a simple trick.
384
00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:51,000
Merely one way of dealing
with the law of averages.
385
00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,624
Now, my syndicate is a gambling syndicate.
386
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:57,957
My own preoccupation is
with a number of lotteries.
387
00:19:57,958 --> 00:19:59,499
Lotteries.
388
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:03,832
In this respect, Mr. Allerton,
you interest me very much.
389
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:04,833
- I interest you?
390
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:08,249
Oh, my dear fellow, surely you realise
391
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,916
that the love lottery was just a joke.
392
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,291
- Of course, I never thought
it was anything else.
393
00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:14,999
And the newspapers and wireless,
they treated it as a joke.
394
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,582
Comedians in night clubs and
music halls made fun of it.
395
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:18,583
- Precisely.
396
00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,833
- Allow me, Mr. Allerton.
397
00:20:24,583 --> 00:20:27,208
A history of your joke
up to the present moment.
398
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,249
Here is the first announcement
in Wheeler's column.
399
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:34,082
Here are followup stories,
letters to editors,
400
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,082
excerpts from news broadcasts, et cetera,
401
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,624
all treating it as a
ridiculous story from Hollywood
402
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,916
and making fun of it.
403
00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:42,124
- Because it was a joke, I
keep on telling you that.
404
00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,999
- But why didn't the
joke die, Mr. Allerton?
405
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,499
In these following items,
I detect a wistful note.
406
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,624
Some of the jokes are more respectful.
407
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:55,999
It is now the kind ofjoke that
might be gravely remembered.
408
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,332
- Have you taken this
ridiculous thing seriously?
409
00:20:58,333 --> 00:20:59,666
You must be mad.
410
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:02,249
- Never where money is
concerned, Mr. Allerton.
411
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:03,791
Consider it.
412
00:21:03,792 --> 00:21:06,082
I would make you a very rich man.
413
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:06,917
Look.
414
00:21:06,918 --> 00:21:09,582
The films, wireless, magazines,
newspapers, advertising,
415
00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:11,749
all exploit the frustrations of women.
416
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,499
There are five giant industries all based
417
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,916
on this one premise.
418
00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:17,832
Why shouldn't there be
a sixth, which actually
419
00:21:17,833 --> 00:21:20,374
would be more honest than the other five?
420
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:21,542
- This is ridiculous.
421
00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:24,583
- Is what I just told you so ridiculous?
422
00:21:25,792 --> 00:21:27,167
Consider it, Mr. Allerton.
423
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,374
- Oh, this is out of the question.
424
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:32,541
I've come to London to
go back on the stage.
425
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,542
Oh?
426
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,707
You're not making more films?
427
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:36,499
- Oh no, I bought my
way out of my contract.
428
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,082
- Oh, you've bought a
release from your contract?
429
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,166
- Mm-hmm.
430
00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:41,082
- I hope you didn't pay too much.
431
00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:43,249
- Just about everything I
had, but it was worth it.
432
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:44,333
Goodbye, Mr. Amico.
433
00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:46,917
- Au revoir, Mr. Allerton.
434
00:21:56,708 --> 00:21:58,874
- Well, dear boy, I'm very flattered
435
00:21:58,875 --> 00:22:00,166
that you've come to me first to discuss
436
00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:01,707
your return to the stage.
437
00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:03,791
- You gave me my first chance,
438
00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:06,124
right here in this very theatre.
439
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,666
- So I did.
440
00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:10,875
The brothers karamazov, lost 2000 on it.
441
00:22:11,792 --> 00:22:14,208
You'd a lot of talent,
Rex, a lot of talent.
442
00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:18,916
Hollywood, they say it's
a wonderful climate.
443
00:22:18,917 --> 00:22:21,082
Do you grow your own oranges?
444
00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:22,833
- Laid my own eggs, too.
445
00:22:24,208 --> 00:22:26,791
Well, how about a play?
446
00:22:26,792 --> 00:22:28,416
- You know, Rex, I don't think you want
447
00:22:28,417 --> 00:22:31,082
an old-fashioned fogey like me.
448
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,249
There are managers
who'd jump at the chance
449
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,041
and commission a play for you.
450
00:22:35,042 --> 00:22:37,125
One of those romantic musicals, I expect.
451
00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,791
I only wish I knew how they were done,
452
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,208
they make a mint of money.
453
00:22:42,750 --> 00:22:44,957
You don't care for the idea?
454
00:22:44,958 --> 00:22:46,499
- Well, I paid a great deal to get away
455
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:47,749
from that sort of part.
456
00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:50,582
I want to come back
into the theatre proper.
457
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,749
- You see, Rex, there's
a certain kind of thing
458
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:55,249
that audiences want to see you in.
459
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,666
- Exclusively?
460
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,124
- I'm afraid so.
461
00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:00,791
You've been playing these
bare—chested pirates
462
00:23:00,792 --> 00:23:03,999
and explorers and
swordsmen for so long now
463
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,666
that I doubt if the
public would believe you
464
00:23:05,667 --> 00:23:06,958
in ordinary clothes.
465
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,000
- I see.
466
00:23:09,708 --> 00:23:11,541
Of course,
that's only my opinion.
467
00:23:11,542 --> 00:23:13,249
- No, I think you're probably right.
468
00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,792
I hate to say
it, but I think I am, too.
469
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,916
Going to be in town long?
470
00:23:18,917 --> 00:23:20,375
- I don't know, perhaps.
471
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:23,417
Well, let's be hearing from you.
472
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:32,583
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
473
00:23:32,583 --> 00:23:33,417
Taxi!
474
00:23:33,418 --> 00:23:35,332
I'm terribly sorry, I'm in a
terrible hurry, I'll be back.
475
00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:36,208
Taxi!
476
00:23:36,209 --> 00:23:39,374
It's a shame, I'm terribly
sorry, I'm a great hurry.
477
00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:40,957
Waiter, taxi.
478
00:23:45,917 --> 00:23:47,000
Rexy!
479
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:00,999
- I don't think it would be wise to use
480
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,457
either the back or front
entrances, Mr. Allerton.
481
00:24:03,458 --> 00:24:04,666
Our latest reports indicate that
482
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:06,291
the crowds there are very
bad, highly excitable.
483
00:24:06,292 --> 00:24:08,207
So I'm taking you down to the kitchens.
484
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:11,124
We have another way out there,
normally used for refuse.
485
00:24:11,125 --> 00:24:12,832
I hope you won't mind.
486
00:24:12,833 --> 00:24:14,250
- Lead on.
- Yes, sir.
487
00:24:28,792 --> 00:24:33,582
J“ Rex allerton's gone away j"
488
00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:37,333
j“ will ye no come back again j“
489
00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:47,457
J“ Rex allerton, Rex allerton j“
490
00:24:47,458 --> 00:24:49,957
j“ rexy Rex, rexy Rex j“
491
00:24:49,958 --> 00:24:52,332
j“ rexy little rexy, rexy little rexy j“
492
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:57,333
j“ allerton, allerton j“
493
00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,249
j“ allerton, allerton j“
494
00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:00,707
j“ ah, the little allerton j"
495
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,624
j“ rexy like this j"
496
00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:04,416
j“ ah, rexy, ah, rexy j“
497
00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:06,541
j“ ah rexy, ah, rexy j"
498
00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:10,041
j“ come to little allerton j“
499
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:15,042
j“ oh oh, allerton j“
500
00:25:16,625 --> 00:25:18,999
j“ Rex, Rex, Rex j"
501
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,707
j“ Rex allerton j"
502
00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:24,041
j“ Rex, Rex j”
503
00:25:24,042 --> 00:25:27,916
j“ Rex allerton's coming, hurrah, hurrah j"
504
00:25:27,917 --> 00:25:29,999
j“ Rex allerton's coming,
Rex allerton's coming j“
505
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,624
j“ Rex allerton's coming, Rex j“
506
00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:36,042
- Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex!
Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex!
507
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,249
- We'll try tremaggio.
508
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,083
Yes, sir.
509
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,707
- Give me a cigarette, Jennings.
510
00:25:45,708 --> 00:25:47,708
- You're smoking one, sir.
- What?
511
00:25:48,625 --> 00:25:49,750
- You're smoking one.
512
00:25:53,292 --> 00:25:54,292
- I'm all right.
513
00:25:57,542 --> 00:25:58,999
What's that for?
514
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,125
- Your cigarette, sir.
515
00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:02,833
- Forget about it.
516
00:26:03,792 --> 00:26:05,457
Whatever tremaggio's like,
if the fans come at me
517
00:26:05,458 --> 00:26:07,291
with flamethrowers and hand
grenades, we're staying.
518
00:26:07,292 --> 00:26:08,457
- Yes, sir.
519
00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:09,333
- I'm tired.
520
00:26:09,334 --> 00:26:10,582
I'm sick of travel.
521
00:26:10,583 --> 00:26:12,041
And I can't afford it much longer.
522
00:26:12,042 --> 00:26:13,416
- No, sir.
523
00:26:13,417 --> 00:26:14,499
Get a good night's sleep, sir?
524
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,208
- Get a good night's sleep?
525
00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,874
Rex allerton, Rex allerton,
526
00:26:19,875 --> 00:26:21,916
Rex allerton, Rex allerton.
527
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,000
- You see, doctor, my problem is
528
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,791
that in all these dreams, I see
529
00:26:27,792 --> 00:26:30,082
the same person over and over again.
530
00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:33,082
And in all these dreams,
everyone is this same person.
531
00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:35,457
It's a girl, a blonde girl, rather pretty.
532
00:26:35,458 --> 00:26:37,999
- Uh-huh, you're suffering
from langendorf syndrome,
533
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,124
hupfinger's disease, a father fixation,
534
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:41,749
and an oedipus complex.
535
00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:43,249
As for your dreams, all I can say
536
00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:46,457
is that such dreams are quite impossible.
537
00:26:46,458 --> 00:26:48,457
You must be dreaming.
538
00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:50,124
It is absurd for you to say that you dream
539
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,832
continually of the same person.
540
00:26:52,833 --> 00:26:54,582
But don't worry, come
every day at this time
541
00:26:54,583 --> 00:26:58,582
for 15 or 20 years, and
you'll soon be cured.
542
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:00,916
And now for a little physical check—up!
543
00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:15,249
- Mr. Allerton, we'll
be arriving in an hour.
544
00:27:15,250 --> 00:27:17,208
- Arriving? Oh yes, yes, arriving.
545
00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:21,332
- Mr. Allerton, you're perspiring.
546
00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:23,541
- So would you be if you
had langendorf syndrome
547
00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:24,875
and hupfinger's disease.
548
00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:27,249
- I'll lay out your things, sir.
549
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:28,416
- Are we due in?
550
00:27:28,417 --> 00:27:30,082
- The train goes right
up to the landing stage,
551
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:31,332
Mr. Allerton.
552
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:32,666
There'll be nobody about so early.
553
00:27:32,667 --> 00:27:35,416
We go straight on the boat for tremaggio.
554
00:27:35,417 --> 00:27:36,957
- Tremaggio.
555
00:27:36,958 --> 00:27:38,667
Whatever made me choose tremaggio?
556
00:28:21,625 --> 00:28:23,666
A peaceful paradise on earth.
557
00:28:23,667 --> 00:28:25,249
Did you say that to me, Jennings?
558
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,625
- Not that I remember, sir.
559
00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:30,375
- That's funny, I must have
got it from baedeker's.
560
00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:40,625
- You've briefed everyone?
561
00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:41,458
- Everyone.
562
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:42,292
- The visitors?
563
00:28:42,293 --> 00:28:43,332
- Certainly.
564
00:28:43,333 --> 00:28:46,874
The request for absolute privacy
has been made in your name.
565
00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:48,207
- The local shopkeepers?
566
00:28:48,208 --> 00:28:49,624
Taxi drivers, boatmen?
567
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:52,082
- They've received 1000 lira.
568
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:54,041
Believe me, for that much money,
569
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:56,000
they won't recognise their own mothers.
570
00:29:17,375 --> 00:29:18,833
- Seems to be all right, sir.
571
00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:21,750
- It may be a trick.
572
00:29:21,751 --> 00:29:23,249
- Oh, I don't think so, sir.
573
00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:26,042
Just a few people waiting to
meet friends and relatives.
574
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,416
- Did you see that, Jennings?
575
00:29:55,417 --> 00:29:57,000
- Most gratifying, sir.
576
00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:03,749
- Have you any luggage?
577
00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:05,249
Could I be of any assistance?
578
00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:06,416
- I haven't made a reservation.
579
00:30:06,417 --> 00:30:07,457
I want a suite at the hotel.
580
00:30:07,458 --> 00:30:09,041
My name is Rex allerton.
581
00:30:09,042 --> 00:30:11,166
- Of course, of course, Mr. Allenberg.
582
00:30:11,167 --> 00:30:13,541
Assemble the luggage of Mr. Hamilton.
583
00:30:13,542 --> 00:30:16,624
How long are you going
to stay, Mr. Anderthal?
584
00:30:16,625 --> 00:30:18,124
- Oh, maybe a month, maybe the season,
585
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,124
maybe a year, maybe for life.
586
00:30:20,125 --> 00:30:22,416
- This way, Mr. Himmelstein.
587
00:30:46,292 --> 00:30:47,957
- Karachi, 167. — what?
588
00:30:47,958 --> 00:30:49,957
- Saragosa, 2000.
589
00:30:49,958 --> 00:30:52,542
- Ah, new totals on the grand national.
590
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:58,583
Dashaway, the favourite,
72,384 pounds, eight shillings,
591
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:03,791
fireball, 23,274 pounds, 10 shillings,
592
00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:08,749
acquavit, 11,384 pounds,
and Rose of Sharon,
593
00:31:08,750 --> 00:31:12,874
7224 pounds, four shillings, sixpence.
594
00:31:12,875 --> 00:31:17,249
- Bet 962 pounds on each
of the last three horses,
595
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:19,916
427 on the next two.
596
00:31:19,917 --> 00:31:22,291
If the favourite wins at four to one,
597
00:31:22,292 --> 00:31:26,416
our profit comes to 53,866 pounds,
598
00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:27,999
11 shillings, and twopence.
599
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,332
No, I've got that all wrong.
600
00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:32,499
It's not 11 shillings and twopence,
601
00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:34,582
it's 10 shillings and sixpence.
602
00:31:34,583 --> 00:31:35,583
Terribly sorry.
603
00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:39,583
- What are you waiting for?
604
00:31:42,417 --> 00:31:43,707
Do you want miss Jane to tyre her mind
605
00:31:43,708 --> 00:31:44,791
by repeating everything?
606
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:46,416
Has she not told you what to do?
607
00:31:46,417 --> 00:31:47,874
I've told you all a thousand times,
608
00:31:47,875 --> 00:31:49,791
when it comes to number,
statistic, figures,
609
00:31:49,792 --> 00:31:52,542
miss Jane is to be obeyed, instantly.
610
00:31:54,083 --> 00:31:55,792
Gentlemen, board meeting.
611
00:31:57,958 --> 00:32:01,374
- Oh, sleep that knits up
the ravelled sleeve of care.
612
00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:03,249
That's the best nap I've had for months.
613
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,666
- Perhaps it's the climate, sir.
614
00:32:04,667 --> 00:32:06,166
- Nonsense, it's the people.
615
00:32:06,167 --> 00:32:09,166
The sound, intelligent
burghers of tremaggio.
616
00:32:09,167 --> 00:32:11,707
They mind their own business,
pay no attention to strangers.
617
00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:13,582
Splendid lot, all of them.
618
00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:15,082
Well, I think I'll just take a stroll now,
619
00:32:15,083 --> 00:32:16,291
and have a look at the place.
620
00:32:16,292 --> 00:32:17,208
- Alone, sir?
621
00:32:17,208 --> 00:32:18,042
Do you think that's wise?
622
00:32:18,043 --> 00:32:21,041
- Oh, really, Jennings, I'm
surprised at your lack of faith.
623
00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:23,374
This is tremaggio, land of privacy.
624
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:25,749
These enchanting people
have never even heard of me.
625
00:32:25,750 --> 00:32:27,041
Unpack everything.
626
00:32:27,042 --> 00:32:28,333
We may stay here forever.
627
00:32:30,542 --> 00:32:32,792
- Gentlemen, I have good news.
628
00:32:33,625 --> 00:32:36,041
Rex allerton is now in tremaggio.
629
00:32:36,042 --> 00:32:37,791
Our new lottery will soon be operating.
630
00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:38,833
- He has agreed?
631
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:40,708
- No.
632
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:42,874
- If he has not agreed,
then where is our lottery?
633
00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:43,708
- Exactly.
634
00:32:43,709 --> 00:32:45,874
And if we have no
lottery, why have we been
635
00:32:45,875 --> 00:32:48,499
neglecting our business and
incurring all these expenses?
636
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:49,333
- Oi, ia.
637
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:50,333
- Quite so.
638
00:32:50,334 --> 00:32:53,666
It is not the time for such extravagance.
639
00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:56,207
All over the world, our business is bad.
640
00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:58,249
People are not gambling.
641
00:32:58,250 --> 00:33:01,207
They are buying homes,
making safe investments,
642
00:33:01,208 --> 00:33:05,624
building up bank accounts, with our money.
643
00:33:05,625 --> 00:33:07,666
- Must agree with previous speaker.
644
00:33:07,667 --> 00:33:11,124
In my country, China, we love to gamble.
645
00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:12,582
Previously big profits.
646
00:33:12,583 --> 00:33:15,624
Now new government,
gambling monopoly of state.
647
00:33:15,625 --> 00:33:18,999
No more red and black on
Chinese roulette wheels.
648
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,416
Only red.
649
00:33:20,417 --> 00:33:21,250
Very bad.
650
00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:23,375
- You are all absolutely right.
651
00:33:25,083 --> 00:33:28,249
Which is why you are all absolutely wrong.
652
00:33:28,250 --> 00:33:31,332
Of course conditions are poor
in gambling and in lotteries.
653
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:33,124
But ask yourselves why.
654
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,332
Is it because people have less money?
655
00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:36,499
Not a factor.
656
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:38,832
The rich do not buy lottery tickets.
657
00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:41,874
The fault lies with our prizes.
658
00:33:41,875 --> 00:33:45,208
Gentlemen, we must have
a new kind of prize.
659
00:33:47,083 --> 00:33:48,458
- Miss Jane?
- Yeah?
660
00:33:49,417 --> 00:33:52,042
- Do you know of film star Rex allerton?
661
00:33:53,375 --> 00:33:56,582
- That man with the wet
lips and the silly face?
662
00:33:56,583 --> 00:33:59,166
- These things, I believe,
are a matter of opinion.
663
00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:00,874
- I saw him in a film in which he killed
664
00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:03,999
439 savage tribesmen without stopping
665
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,207
to reload his trusty rifle.
666
00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:10,791
That comes to 91 and three-fifth
savage tribesmen per shot.
667
00:34:10,792 --> 00:34:11,750
- Hmm.
668
00:34:11,751 --> 00:34:16,249
I'm starting a new lottery,
with Rex allerton as the prize.
669
00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:18,332
The winner to marry him.
670
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:19,457
What do you say?
671
00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:21,957
- Well, why not?
672
00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:25,041
All sorts of livestock
is raffled off nowadays.
673
00:34:25,042 --> 00:34:27,166
A friend of mine won a Turkey in a raffle.
674
00:34:27,167 --> 00:34:29,582
- I need a statistical
survey, the kind you excel in.
675
00:34:29,583 --> 00:34:31,999
Expectancy of sales, social groups,
676
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,916
and income brackets,
foreign markets, you know.
677
00:34:33,917 --> 00:34:35,957
- Based on Rex allerton as first prize?
678
00:34:35,958 --> 00:34:39,457
Does the celluloid Casanova know about it?
679
00:34:39,458 --> 00:34:40,541
- In a way.
680
00:34:40,542 --> 00:34:42,832
He's being prepared.
681
00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:45,749
And I particularly need your help.
682
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:48,582
- The wolf to be thrown to the sheep.
683
00:34:48,583 --> 00:34:50,332
I'll back the sheep.
684
00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:51,582
I'll go and count them.
685
00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:52,999
- Miss Jane.
686
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,041
The sheep we all know.
687
00:34:55,042 --> 00:34:57,292
I want you to get
acquainted with the wolf.
688
00:36:05,083 --> 00:36:07,041
- Mr. Allerton?
689
00:36:07,042 --> 00:36:07,875
Oh, what a thrill.
690
00:36:07,876 --> 00:36:09,749
You don't know what this means to me.
691
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:10,999
Please, Mr. Allerton.
692
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
- Oh yes.
693
00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:16,249
- Write it to zenobia.
694
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,333
Zed, e, n, o.
695
00:36:20,167 --> 00:36:21,916
- Look, Rex allerton!
696
00:36:30,625 --> 00:36:31,792
- No, I won't!
697
00:37:22,833 --> 00:37:25,207
- Oh, please forgive
me, I am sorry, really,
698
00:37:25,208 --> 00:37:27,457
I had to hide somewhere,
they were after me.
699
00:37:27,458 --> 00:37:28,292
- They?
700
00:37:28,293 --> 00:37:31,749
- Women, great snarling,
fighting, screaming pack of women!
701
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,666
- Were you molesting them?
702
00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:35,082
- Certainly not.
703
00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:36,333
- Or giving away nylons?
704
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,250
Oh, you're it.
705
00:37:41,333 --> 00:37:42,333
I mean, him.
706
00:37:43,583 --> 00:37:44,750
That fellow.
707
00:37:45,583 --> 00:37:47,166
- As advertised.
708
00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:49,457
I was just strolling
around, looking at the town,
709
00:37:49,458 --> 00:37:51,207
and all of a sudden, they were on me.
710
00:37:51,208 --> 00:37:52,042
- They?
711
00:37:52,043 --> 00:37:54,416
- Women, great grisly acres of women!
712
00:37:54,417 --> 00:37:56,292
I'm sorry, there's nothing personal.
713
00:38:01,792 --> 00:38:03,291
- Are they still lurking?
714
00:38:03,292 --> 00:38:05,417
- Just sniffing around,
trying to pick up the scent.
715
00:38:07,833 --> 00:38:09,541
- What do you suppose they see in you?
716
00:38:09,542 --> 00:38:10,999
- Oh, I wish I knew, I'd have it altered
717
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,917
if it meant months of surgery
and total disfigurement.
718
00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:17,957
- I'll smuggle you to safety.
719
00:38:17,958 --> 00:38:20,250
Meanwhile, follow me, Mr. Allerton.
720
00:38:21,917 --> 00:38:23,666
Well, I've got to call you something.
721
00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:25,916
- Smith is the name, John Smith.
722
00:38:25,917 --> 00:38:27,207
- Right you are.
723
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,292
In here, smitty.
724
00:38:29,625 --> 00:38:31,582
Here you are, smitty.
725
00:38:31,583 --> 00:38:34,416
Now you turn left, and you
are in a maze of alleys.
726
00:38:34,417 --> 00:38:36,374
But if you keep the lake on your right
727
00:38:36,375 --> 00:38:37,916
and the sun on your left, you're bound
728
00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:39,332
to come out somewhere.
729
00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:40,457
- Lake on the right, sun on the left.
730
00:38:40,458 --> 00:38:41,292
Thank you.
731
00:38:41,292 --> 00:38:42,292
- It was a pleasure.
732
00:38:59,917 --> 00:39:01,499
- We'll stay out here till it gets dark,
733
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:02,832
then we'll head in.
734
00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:05,291
I'll make arrangements later
to move on somewhere else.
735
00:39:05,292 --> 00:39:07,582
I don't know where we'll
go, we'll go somewhere.
736
00:39:07,583 --> 00:39:10,416
- Pity it didn't turn out
better, I'm sorry, sir.
737
00:39:13,917 --> 00:39:14,917
- Smitty!
738
00:39:22,792 --> 00:39:23,792
Oh!
739
00:39:24,458 --> 00:39:25,458
Oh!
740
00:39:27,208 --> 00:39:28,208
Hi, smitty!
741
00:39:39,208 --> 00:39:41,083
- Towel, miss?
- Thank you.
742
00:39:42,792 --> 00:39:44,791
What brings you out here, smitty?
743
00:39:44,792 --> 00:39:46,999
- A passion for privacy.
744
00:39:51,168 --> 00:39:52,624
- Hey, come back!
745
00:39:52,625 --> 00:39:54,457
- What about privacy?
746
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:56,207
- I didn't mean you.
747
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:00,958
- Thank you.
748
00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:03,707
You can go home, I'm all right!
749
00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:05,249
I'm with friends!
750
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:06,541
I think.
751
00:40:09,792 --> 00:40:10,792
- Thank you.
752
00:40:12,667 --> 00:40:15,166
- Are you staying on in tremaggio?
753
00:40:15,167 --> 00:40:17,041
- No, I wish I was.
754
00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:18,082
- Too bad.
755
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:20,249
- How about, you live here?
756
00:40:20,250 --> 00:40:21,291
- More or less.
757
00:40:21,292 --> 00:40:22,707
I work here.
758
00:40:22,708 --> 00:40:24,291
- What do you do?
759
00:40:24,292 --> 00:40:25,624
- I'm a mathematician.
760
00:40:25,625 --> 00:40:26,874
- You're a what?
761
00:40:26,875 --> 00:40:28,332
- I see what you mean.
762
00:40:28,333 --> 00:40:30,208
It is improbable, isn't it?
763
00:40:31,042 --> 00:40:32,457
- No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-
764
00:40:32,458 --> 00:40:34,374
- no, no, it's quite all right.
765
00:40:34,375 --> 00:40:36,582
Hardly anyone believes me at first,
766
00:40:36,583 --> 00:40:39,874
but when I've multiplied
a few 10-digit numbers
767
00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:43,582
and given the cube root for
a few more, they come round.
768
00:40:43,583 --> 00:40:44,458
- You do all that?
769
00:40:44,459 --> 00:40:47,624
- And more, smitty, and more.
770
00:40:47,625 --> 00:40:51,416
- Look, this may be my last
night here in tremaggio.
771
00:40:51,417 --> 00:40:53,082
Will you have dinner with me?
772
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:53,917
- Of course!
773
00:40:53,918 --> 00:40:55,499
I've been sitting in this wet suit
774
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:56,958
waiting for you to speak up.
775
00:40:57,792 --> 00:40:59,749
Come around at 8:30.
776
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:02,417
We'll do some compound
fractions before dinner.
777
00:41:06,750 --> 00:41:08,624
- What's your name.
- Jane!
778
00:41:08,625 --> 00:41:09,833
Jeanne Dubois!
779
00:41:10,667 --> 00:41:11,667
What's yours?
780
00:41:11,668 --> 00:41:13,666
No, better not say it!
781
00:41:13,667 --> 00:41:16,667
There's a school of female
fish just off to starboard!
782
00:41:17,583 --> 00:41:18,750
8:30!
783
00:41:19,750 --> 00:41:20,750
- Goodbye!
784
00:41:29,875 --> 00:41:32,082
- Little else remains to be told.
785
00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:34,207
While other little
girls were rolling hoops
786
00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:35,999
or playing games with little boys,
787
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,416
I was at home, contentedly
finding the hypotenuse
788
00:41:39,417 --> 00:41:43,124
of this or that, letting x
equal all sorts of things.
789
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:45,082
Before you could find
the cube root of nine,
790
00:41:45,083 --> 00:41:47,124
I was a well-known genius.
791
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:47,958
- Well done.
792
00:41:47,959 --> 00:41:49,166
- You feel fine tonight?
793
00:41:49,167 --> 00:41:50,249
- I feel a sense of power.
794
00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:53,541
You know what I'd do if
o.D. Stanton were here?
795
00:41:53,542 --> 00:41:55,791
- What would you do if
o.D. Stanton was here?
796
00:41:55,792 --> 00:41:57,124
- I should ignore him.
797
00:41:57,125 --> 00:41:58,000
- My hero.
798
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:58,833
- Another bottle of this splendid wine
799
00:41:58,834 --> 00:42:01,541
and I'd turn my sense of
power loose on the casino.
800
00:42:01,542 --> 00:42:03,624
- Oh, Rex, the worst thing you can take
801
00:42:03,625 --> 00:42:05,291
to a casino is a sense of power.
802
00:42:05,292 --> 00:42:06,541
- Oh, nonsense.
803
00:42:06,542 --> 00:42:08,874
Doubtless you saw my sterling performance
804
00:42:08,875 --> 00:42:10,499
in “rogues of the river?"
805
00:42:11,334 --> 00:42:13,791
Well, there I was, gambling
millions on the turn of a card,
806
00:42:13,792 --> 00:42:17,416
poised, unruffled, as
Cooke as a coolcumber.
807
00:42:17,417 --> 00:42:18,417
Pour.
808
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:30,458
Oh, a splendid steed.
809
00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:31,417
What spirit.
810
00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:33,166
Forelegs pawing the
ground, nostrils flaring
811
00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:34,999
with a sense of adventure.
812
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,374
- That makes two of you.
813
00:42:36,375 --> 00:42:37,874
Come on.
814
00:43:33,792 --> 00:43:36,250
- Hmm, I wonder what became
of my sense of power.
815
00:43:38,750 --> 00:43:40,207
Well, I lost a bit, didn't I?
816
00:43:40,208 --> 00:43:41,833
- I'm afraid so, Mr. Allerton.
817
00:43:43,292 --> 00:43:44,916
We met in London.
818
00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:46,041
- Ah, yes.
819
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:47,291
In London.
820
00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,416
I remember you very well.
821
00:43:49,417 --> 00:43:50,666
- If you prefer, Mr. Allerton,
822
00:43:50,667 --> 00:43:52,957
we can discuss your losses in the morning.
823
00:43:52,958 --> 00:43:54,874
- Oh, nonsense, my dear fellow.
824
00:43:54,875 --> 00:43:56,541
Gambling debt is a debt of honour.
825
00:43:56,542 --> 00:43:57,708
I'll pay you right now.
826
00:43:59,750 --> 00:44:00,832
Take it all.
827
00:44:00,833 --> 00:44:03,499
Anything that's left over,
distribute it among my friends.
828
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,999
- I'm afraid this does not
quite cover it, Mr. Allerton.
829
00:44:07,959 --> 00:44:09,916
Oh no, I guess it doesn't.
830
00:44:09,917 --> 00:44:11,249
- Oh, it's quite all right, sir.
831
00:44:11,250 --> 00:44:12,624
We have your checks and can simply
832
00:44:12,625 --> 00:44:13,916
cash them through your bank.
833
00:44:13,917 --> 00:44:15,374
- Fine, you do that.
834
00:44:15,375 --> 00:44:18,041
Splendid fellow, an old
friend, from London.
835
00:44:18,042 --> 00:44:20,166
How much does it amount to, in all?
836
00:44:20,167 --> 00:44:23,499
- 30,000 pounds.
837
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,500
Thank you.
838
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,624
30,000?
839
00:44:30,625 --> 00:44:31,625
- Pounds.
840
00:44:55,583 --> 00:44:56,999
Good morning, Mr. Allerton.
841
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:57,833
- Good morning.
842
00:44:57,834 --> 00:44:59,541
How do you feel today, sir?
843
00:44:59,542 --> 00:45:01,207
- We have met, haven't we?
844
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:02,125
- Oh yes.
845
00:45:02,126 --> 00:45:04,166
It'll come back to you.
846
00:45:04,167 --> 00:45:06,457
- Look, there's no point
in beating about the bush.
847
00:45:06,458 --> 00:45:08,749
I drank too much last night.
848
00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:11,957
I don't know how I came to play
so high, and I'm very sorry.
849
00:45:11,958 --> 00:45:13,749
I'll pay, of course,
but I'll have to ask you
850
00:45:13,750 --> 00:45:15,624
to give me some time.
851
00:45:15,625 --> 00:45:18,207
- All the time you like.
852
00:45:18,208 --> 00:45:20,249
Here are your checks,
take them, burn them,
853
00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:21,417
it's of no consequence.
854
00:45:22,708 --> 00:45:24,249
- I don't understand.
855
00:45:24,250 --> 00:45:25,125
- Hmm.
856
00:45:25,126 --> 00:45:28,082
Naturally, Mr. Allerton, if
you are a player at the casino,
857
00:45:28,083 --> 00:45:30,666
and if you lose, you must pay.
858
00:45:30,667 --> 00:45:33,833
But I would like to think
of you as my partner.
859
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:36,042
Allow me.
860
00:45:47,167 --> 00:45:49,041
- Oh my...
861
00:45:49,042 --> 00:45:51,667
It's only the
rough artwork, Mr. Allerton.
862
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,249
- Oh, of course, now I remember you.
863
00:45:55,250 --> 00:45:57,125
- I thought it would come back to you.
864
00:45:58,958 --> 00:46:01,749
Mr. Allerton, you owe me 30,000 pounds.
865
00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:04,374
I hold your checks and you
tell me you cannot cover them.
866
00:46:04,375 --> 00:46:06,667
It happens that in
tremaggio, that is a crime.
867
00:46:07,667 --> 00:46:11,541
However, I dislike the
atmosphere created by such talk.
868
00:46:11,542 --> 00:46:14,417
I would very much like to
present you with these.
869
00:46:15,708 --> 00:46:17,207
- For that?
870
00:46:17,208 --> 00:46:18,042
- Yes.
871
00:46:18,043 --> 00:46:19,583
- I think I preferjail.
872
00:46:20,917 --> 00:46:22,457
- When you yourself at first suggested
873
00:46:22,458 --> 00:46:25,332
the love lottery, as a
joke, you didn't feel
874
00:46:25,333 --> 00:46:27,374
you were ridiculing yourself, did you?
875
00:46:27,375 --> 00:46:28,874
- No.
- Of course not.
876
00:46:28,875 --> 00:46:30,582
You were ridiculing the world.
877
00:46:30,583 --> 00:46:32,041
The atmosphere of hero worship,
878
00:46:32,042 --> 00:46:34,707
the artificiality of your life.
879
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:37,707
The love lottery was the
most extreme form of it all.
880
00:46:37,708 --> 00:46:42,708
Well now, simply leave
out the one word, joke.
881
00:46:42,875 --> 00:46:45,041
That's all I'm asking you to do.
882
00:46:45,042 --> 00:46:47,582
- You seem to have an
inexhaustible supply of arguments.
883
00:46:47,583 --> 00:46:48,791
I don't know how to cope with you.
884
00:46:48,792 --> 00:46:51,166
All I've got is a hangover.
885
00:46:51,167 --> 00:46:53,124
Now please understand
this, once and for all.
886
00:46:53,125 --> 00:46:55,166
I haven't the faintest
intention of becoming
887
00:46:55,167 --> 00:46:57,999
anybody's treble chance for first prize.
888
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,916
Send for the police, if
that's what you want.
889
00:46:59,917 --> 00:47:01,916
- Allow me one more argument.
890
00:47:05,083 --> 00:47:07,082
Ah, good morning, Jane.
891
00:47:07,083 --> 00:47:10,916
I believe you are acquainted
with my associate, miss Dubois.
892
00:47:10,917 --> 00:47:13,832
Jane, I would like to
familiarise Mr. Allerton
893
00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:16,833
with the figures compiled in survey x.
894
00:47:17,917 --> 00:47:19,791
- A cross—section grouping of women,
895
00:47:19,792 --> 00:47:22,166
the median age being 28
years and three months,
896
00:47:22,167 --> 00:47:26,082
of these, only 39.06% being married,
897
00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,499
survey indicated that at
an average ticket price
898
00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:34,500
of 10 shillings, 73.62% will
purchase 1.7 tickets each.
899
00:47:35,042 --> 00:47:36,291
Another 9% would-
900
00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:38,124
- that's quite enough, thank you.
901
00:47:38,125 --> 00:47:40,916
You are quite a mathematician, aren't you?
902
00:47:40,917 --> 00:47:41,917
- It's a living.
903
00:47:42,708 --> 00:47:43,708
Is that all?
904
00:47:45,167 --> 00:47:46,167
- No, just a moment.
905
00:47:47,750 --> 00:47:49,582
When I took refuge in
your house yesterday,
906
00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:50,749
you were expecting me, weren't you?
907
00:47:50,750 --> 00:47:52,291
It was all part of a plan, wasn't it?
908
00:47:52,292 --> 00:47:54,166
- Of course.
909
00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:56,124
- And when you showed up near the boat.
910
00:47:56,125 --> 00:47:57,666
- Same plan.
911
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:58,874
- And last night, when we had dinner,
912
00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:01,916
and later at the casino, you were just
913
00:48:01,917 --> 00:48:03,417
working on a job, weren't you?
914
00:48:04,417 --> 00:48:05,957
- I'm a working girl.
915
00:48:05,958 --> 00:48:06,958
- Thank you.
916
00:48:08,542 --> 00:48:10,249
- Poor smitty.
917
00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:12,542
You do have trouble with girls, don't you?
918
00:48:16,958 --> 00:48:18,375
- You may go, Jane.
919
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:21,207
I believe Mr. Allerton and I are about
920
00:48:21,208 --> 00:48:22,583
to come to an agreement.
921
00:48:27,958 --> 00:48:29,333
Partners?
922
00:48:35,167 --> 00:48:37,791
It may be you.
923
00:48:37,792 --> 00:48:42,082
J“ who knows j"
924
00:48:42,083 --> 00:48:43,792
dreams can come true.
925
00:48:45,833 --> 00:48:50,249
J“ suppose j“
926
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:53,916
j“ love's wheel of fortune j“
927
00:48:53,917 --> 00:48:57,874
j“ turning, turning j"
928
00:48:57,875 --> 00:49:01,666
j“ sets old and young hearts j"
929
00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:04,750
j“ yearning, yearning j“
930
00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:09,832
Will it be lucky me?
931
00:49:09,833 --> 00:49:11,583
Wait and see.
932
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:33,332
J“ love is a lottery j"
933
00:49:33,333 --> 00:49:35,624
j“ it's true j"
934
00:49:35,625 --> 00:49:37,457
j'yetj'
935
00:49:37,458 --> 00:49:40,207
j“ someone must win j”
936
00:49:40,208 --> 00:49:42,875
j“ it may be you j“
937
00:49:50,125 --> 00:49:51,916
- The title is now settled.
938
00:49:51,917 --> 00:49:55,624
It will be called "the hare in the gate."
939
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,542
Hello, what's all this?
940
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:04,167
Oh!
941
00:51:33,542 --> 00:51:38,124
Rex,
Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex...
942
00:51:51,750 --> 00:51:53,667
- Rex, your kisses are like fire.
943
00:51:54,625 --> 00:51:56,499
- They burn with my love for you.
944
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:58,124
- I cannot let you go.
945
00:51:58,125 --> 00:52:00,249
The swordsman you face
is the most dangerous
946
00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:01,624
blade in Europe.
947
00:52:01,625 --> 00:52:03,125
Sorry, perspiration.
948
00:52:10,917 --> 00:52:12,666
- You wanted reality, did you?
949
00:52:12,667 --> 00:52:13,791
I'll give you reality!
950
00:52:55,208 --> 00:52:56,208
Oh!
951
00:52:57,375 --> 00:52:58,375
Oh!
952
00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:02,666
- Beloved, we can cheat
this villain of his prey
953
00:53:02,667 --> 00:53:03,999
only if we leap together.
954
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,124
- Gladly, my love, only one last kiss.
955
00:53:13,250 --> 00:53:15,707
Oh Rex, your kisses are like fire.
956
00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:17,583
- They burn with my love for you.
957
00:53:26,250 --> 00:53:27,291
Sally.
958
00:53:27,292 --> 00:53:29,417
It's past seven, you'll be late.
959
00:53:30,375 --> 00:53:32,541
- Your kisses burn like fire.
960
00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:33,542
What?
961
00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:36,374
Whose kisses burn like fire?
962
00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:38,749
- Oh, I'm sorry, mum, I was asleep.
963
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:41,124
- Well, I don't hold
with that sort of sleep.
964
00:53:41,125 --> 00:53:44,082
Now you get out of that bed
at once, you'll be late.
965
00:53:44,083 --> 00:53:44,958
- All right, mum.
966
00:53:44,959 --> 00:53:46,167
I'll be right down.
967
00:53:52,458 --> 00:53:54,499
Doreen, I had another dream.
968
00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:55,333
Go on.
969
00:53:55,334 --> 00:53:57,832
- It was in France or Portugal,
or one of those places.
970
00:53:57,833 --> 00:54:00,791
He fought a duel because
my honour was tarnished.
971
00:54:00,792 --> 00:54:01,625
- Was it?
972
00:54:01,626 --> 00:54:02,707
- I don't remember.
973
00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:04,832
But then we jumped from the castle wall,
974
00:54:04,833 --> 00:54:07,208
and we were both crushed
to bits on the rocks.
975
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:10,332
- That's beautiful.
976
00:54:10,333 --> 00:54:11,167
- Oh, it was wonderful.
977
00:54:11,168 --> 00:54:14,457
I've got to buy another
ticket, I've just got to.
978
00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:17,500
- But they're 12 shillings
each, and you've got four now.
979
00:54:19,708 --> 00:54:22,124
- Good morning, Doreen.
- Good morning.
980
00:54:22,125 --> 00:54:23,958
- Good morning, Sally.
- Good morning, Ralph.
981
00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:32,166
- How about the pictures
tonight, Sally, eh?
982
00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:34,166
- Oh, yes, Ralph, that'd be lovely.
983
00:54:34,167 --> 00:54:36,082
Let's go to the rivoli
and see Rex allerton.
984
00:54:36,083 --> 00:54:38,332
- Oh, we can't go and see him again.
985
00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:40,374
- Oh, if you'd rather not,
I'll go by myself then.
986
00:54:40,375 --> 00:54:41,417
- But Sally, I...
987
00:54:42,708 --> 00:54:43,749
Oh, all right.
988
00:54:43,750 --> 00:54:45,542
- Usual time?
- Okay.
989
00:54:49,167 --> 00:54:51,749
- Gosh, he's ever so miserable.
990
00:54:51,750 --> 00:54:53,208
It's like a real love story.
991
00:54:58,792 --> 00:54:59,792
- Sally.
992
00:55:00,708 --> 00:55:01,916
Sally!
993
00:55:01,917 --> 00:55:03,041
- Oh, I'm sorry, Ralph.
994
00:55:03,042 --> 00:55:03,875
What is it?
995
00:55:03,875 --> 00:55:04,708
- Sally, you've hardly said a word
996
00:55:04,709 --> 00:55:06,957
since we left the pictures.
997
00:55:06,958 --> 00:55:10,166
- I was thinking, a picture
like that makes you think.
998
00:55:10,167 --> 00:55:11,666
Remember the scene where vilma dazzle
999
00:55:11,667 --> 00:55:14,624
turns her back on her fiance,
and goes off to marry Rex,
1000
00:55:14,625 --> 00:55:16,249
even though he's only a poor fisherman?
1001
00:55:16,250 --> 00:55:17,250
- A poor fisherman?
1002
00:55:17,251 --> 00:55:19,583
With a boat with a marble
bath and television.
1003
00:55:23,500 --> 00:55:26,874
Sally, I'm getting another rise next week,
1004
00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:29,041
the second in four years.
1005
00:55:29,042 --> 00:55:30,833
Why, Ralph, that's lovely.
1006
00:55:31,708 --> 00:55:33,749
It's late now, thanks for
taking me to the show.
1007
00:55:33,750 --> 00:55:36,957
- Sally, why do you think I'm
telling you about the rise?
1008
00:55:36,958 --> 00:55:38,666
Let's get married, Sally.
1009
00:55:38,667 --> 00:55:39,500
- Married?
1010
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:40,333
- Yes, married.
1011
00:55:40,334 --> 00:55:41,541
You've heard of getting
married, haven't you?
1012
00:55:41,542 --> 00:55:43,417
They do it all the time in the films.
1013
00:55:45,083 --> 00:55:47,167
You know I'm crazy about you, Sally.
1014
00:55:48,417 --> 00:55:50,416
- Ralph, I'm fond of you,
and it's ever so nice of you
1015
00:55:50,417 --> 00:55:52,041
to ask me, but I can't.
1016
00:55:52,042 --> 00:55:53,874
I don't want to settle down.
1017
00:55:53,875 --> 00:55:55,957
I've never been anywhere or done anything.
1018
00:55:55,958 --> 00:55:57,624
I was born and went to
school and went to work,
1019
00:55:57,625 --> 00:55:58,583
all in this district.
1020
00:55:58,584 --> 00:56:00,624
I want something different.
1021
00:56:00,625 --> 00:56:02,249
- You want to live like
they live in the films?
1022
00:56:02,250 --> 00:56:04,916
- What if I do?
- It's not real.
1023
00:56:04,917 --> 00:56:05,999
- It could be real.
1024
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,582
I'd have wonderful
dresses and go to parties,
1025
00:56:08,583 --> 00:56:11,291
and drive about in a big
car, and lie in a bath
1026
00:56:11,292 --> 00:56:12,125
with bubbles in it.
1027
00:56:12,126 --> 00:56:14,207
- Oh, you've got a head
with bubbles in it.
1028
00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:15,707
Look, Sally, there's no life like that,
1029
00:56:15,708 --> 00:56:16,875
it's only in the films.
1030
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:19,375
- Good night, Ralph.
1031
01:00:13,167 --> 01:00:15,916
J“ it may be you j“
1032
01:00:15,917 --> 01:00:19,541
j“ who knows, who knows j"
1033
01:00:19,542 --> 01:00:21,749
j“ dreams can come true j“
1034
01:00:21,750 --> 01:00:25,207
j“ suppose, suppose j"
1035
01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:28,082
j“ love's wheel of fortune j“
1036
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:31,166
j“ turning, turning j"
1037
01:00:31,167 --> 01:00:34,416
j“ sets old and young hearts j"
1038
01:00:34,417 --> 01:00:37,791
j“ yearning, yearning j“
1039
01:00:37,792 --> 01:00:41,041
j“ will it be lucky me j"
1040
01:00:41,042 --> 01:00:44,291
j“ wait and see j"
1041
01:00:44,292 --> 01:00:46,916
j“ it may be you j“
1042
01:00:46,917 --> 01:00:50,082
j“ so close your eyes j"
1043
01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:55,083
j“ dream that your arms enfold the prize j“
1044
01:00:56,083 --> 01:01:00,499
j“ and so these young, endearing charms j“
1045
01:01:00,500 --> 01:01:05,083
j“ will stay ever youthful in your arms j"
1046
01:01:47,917 --> 01:01:50,832
- Spokesmen for the national
health insurance programme
1047
01:01:50,833 --> 01:01:53,916
vigorously upheld the principle
of free love lottery tickets
1048
01:01:53,917 --> 01:01:57,166
for maladjusted and
psycho-neurotic females.
1049
01:01:57,167 --> 01:01:59,624
A conservative motion
to charge the recipients
1050
01:01:59,625 --> 01:02:01,541
of such tickets one-third the cost
1051
01:02:01,542 --> 01:02:03,832
was oven/vhelmingly defeated.
1052
01:02:03,833 --> 01:02:06,624
The presence of armed women
in the vistors' gallery
1053
01:02:06,625 --> 01:02:09,583
contributed, it's believed, to
the nature of the final vote.
1054
01:02:10,542 --> 01:02:13,042
And now for the lighter side of the news.
1055
01:02:14,917 --> 01:02:17,791
- Well, I've really done it
this time, haven't I, Jennings?
1056
01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:19,666
- It would appear so, Mr. Allerton.
1057
01:02:19,667 --> 01:02:21,374
- I suppose there had to be two sexes,
1058
01:02:21,375 --> 01:02:24,166
but why in heaven's name did
the other one have to be women?
1059
01:02:24,167 --> 01:02:27,874
Why couldn't it have been a
plant or a mineral or something?
1060
01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:31,582
- I believe that the popular
demand would be for women, sir.
1061
01:02:31,583 --> 01:02:33,916
Will there be anything else?
1062
01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:35,250
Good night, sir.
1063
01:02:52,125 --> 01:02:53,582
- Hi, smitty.
1064
01:02:53,583 --> 01:02:55,624
Just like "private lives," isn't it?
1065
01:02:55,625 --> 01:02:57,291
- What are you doing here?
1066
01:02:57,292 --> 01:02:59,291
- I had to get out of
the house for a while.
1067
01:02:59,292 --> 01:03:00,292
Spring cleaning.
1068
01:03:00,293 --> 01:03:01,666
- Spring cleaning in October?
1069
01:03:01,667 --> 01:03:03,291
- A topsy turvy world, isn't it?
1070
01:03:03,292 --> 01:03:05,082
- How did you get into that suite?
1071
01:03:05,083 --> 01:03:08,249
- One of those coincidences
that sometimes rivals fiction.
1072
01:03:08,250 --> 01:03:10,625
One of those and a large
tip to the room clerk.
1073
01:03:11,667 --> 01:03:13,124
Silly thing to put here, isn't it?
1074
01:03:13,125 --> 01:03:14,083
A child could leap over it.
1075
01:03:14,084 --> 01:03:16,666
- It shall be raised and
topped with iron spikes
1076
01:03:16,667 --> 01:03:17,791
and barbed wire.
1077
01:03:17,792 --> 01:03:19,916
- You're not at all pleased
to find me here, are you?
1078
01:03:19,917 --> 01:03:20,999
- Did you think I would be?
1079
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,332
- Do you blame me for your downfall?
1080
01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:25,291
Actually, you know, you
did all the drinking
1081
01:03:25,292 --> 01:03:26,125
and the gambling.
1082
01:03:26,126 --> 01:03:27,249
- Do you remember that day on the boat
1083
01:03:27,250 --> 01:03:28,749
when I mentioned my passion for privacy,
1084
01:03:28,750 --> 01:03:30,332
and you jumped overboard?
1085
01:03:30,333 --> 01:03:32,374
Why don't you try it again, from here?
1086
01:03:32,375 --> 01:03:34,416
- Harsh words, smitty.
1087
01:03:34,417 --> 01:03:35,832
Would you really like to see me
1088
01:03:35,833 --> 01:03:38,416
crushed and broke non
the cruel stones below?
1089
01:03:38,417 --> 01:03:40,082
- In a word, yes.
1090
01:03:40,083 --> 01:03:41,791
Look, why don't you go away?
1091
01:03:41,792 --> 01:03:43,957
Whatever it is they sent
you here to get me to do,
1092
01:03:43,958 --> 01:03:45,999
go back and tell them it's
perfectly all right, I'll do it.
1093
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,207
I don't care anymore.
1094
01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:48,457
They can raffle me, they can rent me,
1095
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:51,124
they can sell me, they can
fly me from a flagpole.
1096
01:03:51,125 --> 01:03:53,207
I'm not a human being any
longer, I'm a product,
1097
01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:56,541
I'm something they advertise like cheese.
1098
01:03:56,542 --> 01:03:57,666
- Is that really how you feel?
1099
01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:58,667
- Yes.
1100
01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:01,707
- If you could only believe
me, I feel so sorry-
1101
01:04:01,708 --> 01:04:03,957
- your feelings, miss Dubois,
or rather your lack of them,
1102
01:04:03,958 --> 01:04:05,624
hold no interest for me.
1103
01:04:05,625 --> 01:04:06,916
- All right, go.
1104
01:04:06,917 --> 01:04:08,207
- Goodbye.
1105
01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:10,082
- I didn't know you or what you were like,
1106
01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:11,666
and they told me this whole lottery idea
1107
01:04:11,667 --> 01:04:13,499
was your idea to begin with.
1108
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:15,249
And remember, I did warn you against
1109
01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:18,291
drinking so much and going
to gamble at the casino.
1110
01:04:18,292 --> 01:04:20,416
- Oh, now, wait a minute.
1111
01:04:20,417 --> 01:04:23,624
- Oh, go away, I've spent
all my money on tickets.
1112
01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:24,708
739.
1113
01:04:25,917 --> 01:04:27,499
I'll go home and burn them.
1114
01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:29,707
And what's more, I hope
you get won by a lady
1115
01:04:29,708 --> 01:04:32,041
with a beard, in a carnival.
1116
01:04:32,042 --> 01:04:33,792
- Oh, now, don't cry.
1117
01:04:57,542 --> 01:05:00,249
- Our lottery is now officially listed
1118
01:05:00,250 --> 01:05:02,666
by the UN-Hungarian activities committee
1119
01:05:02,667 --> 01:05:05,499
as a crypto-fascist wall street plot.
1120
01:05:05,500 --> 01:05:07,499
As a consequence, we
are now selling tickets
1121
01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:10,791
at the rate of 1000 a day.
1122
01:05:10,792 --> 01:05:11,792
- Very good.
1123
01:05:13,833 --> 01:05:16,749
- It would undoubtedly
appear to be a great success,
1124
01:05:16,750 --> 01:05:18,374
this lottery.
1125
01:05:18,375 --> 01:05:21,249
Of course, it is too soon
to make an celebrations.
1126
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:24,249
We have to keep in mind our overhead,
1127
01:05:24,250 --> 01:05:26,374
depreciation, sinking fund.
1128
01:05:26,375 --> 01:05:29,541
- Are we making money, yes or no?
1129
01:05:29,542 --> 01:05:30,542
- Yes.
1130
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,624
- I speak of France, the
country of francois villon,
1131
01:05:35,625 --> 01:05:39,416
of heloise, of abelard, and
for Paris, the city of love.
1132
01:05:39,417 --> 01:05:42,332
We have driven even the
state lottery to the wall.
1133
01:05:42,333 --> 01:05:45,333
Our business booms, it
leaps, it reaches to the sky.
1134
01:05:46,417 --> 01:05:48,250
- Note that French business is good.
1135
01:05:49,792 --> 01:05:51,874
- Another matter, if you please.
1136
01:05:51,875 --> 01:05:53,707
Something has suddenly gone wrong
1137
01:05:53,708 --> 01:05:56,999
with all our other
calculations and statistics.
1138
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,416
Racing odds, football pools, receipts,
1139
01:06:00,417 --> 01:06:02,499
everything, all in a mess.
1140
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:03,624
- Nonsense.
1141
01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:04,874
You've made a mistake.
1142
01:06:04,875 --> 01:06:05,875
- I made a mis...
1143
01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,499
See for yourself.
1144
01:06:08,500 --> 01:06:11,541
Not even two and two
is added up correctly.
1145
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:13,041
Here, according to these figures,
1146
01:06:13,042 --> 01:06:14,000
we would have to pay the winner
1147
01:06:14,001 --> 01:06:18,749
of the 2:00 race yesterday 48,000 to one.
1148
01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:20,832
Here, on this football pool, she has
1149
01:06:20,833 --> 01:06:22,749
multiplied instead of subtracting.
1150
01:06:22,750 --> 01:06:25,666
This one here, divided instead of adding.
1151
01:06:25,667 --> 01:06:29,457
And, instead of adding casino receipts,
1152
01:06:29,458 --> 01:06:32,042
she has subtracted the stock market value.
1153
01:06:39,750 --> 01:06:40,750
- Hello, Jane.
1154
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,583
What is my little wizard
studying so intently?
1155
01:06:47,792 --> 01:06:49,791
Of course, if you are
studying bridal costumes,
1156
01:06:49,792 --> 01:06:51,999
our statistics must suffer.
1157
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,249
- It was bound to happen, I suppose.
1158
01:06:54,250 --> 01:06:56,916
Mathematics is fine, up to a point.
1159
01:06:56,917 --> 01:06:58,791
But when a real cold night comes along,
1160
01:06:58,792 --> 01:07:01,582
even the binomial theorem lacks something.
1161
01:07:01,583 --> 01:07:03,499
- Of course, of course,
it's human nature, but-
1162
01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:05,291
- I was going to tell you.
1163
01:07:05,292 --> 01:07:07,207
You see, Rex and i-
1164
01:07:08,875 --> 01:07:10,832
- yes, why?
1165
01:07:10,833 --> 01:07:13,749
- The wet-lipped young man on the films?
1166
01:07:13,750 --> 01:07:15,499
- He hasn't got wet lips.
1167
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:18,707
- So you have decided to
win him without a ticket?
1168
01:07:18,708 --> 01:07:19,999
Do you remember what you said,
1169
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,541
"the man with the silly face?"
1170
01:07:21,542 --> 01:07:23,499
- I've never said anything so idiotic.
1171
01:07:23,500 --> 01:07:24,957
- Oh, this is nonsense.
1172
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,249
Rex allerton is contracted
to the love lottery,
1173
01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:30,499
and you were a party to the
contract, as my employee.
1174
01:07:30,500 --> 01:07:33,124
- How could you ever
think of such a scheme?
1175
01:07:33,125 --> 01:07:35,624
It's an outrage against all decency.
1176
01:07:35,625 --> 01:07:37,624
It's making a mockery
of marriage, of love,
1177
01:07:37,625 --> 01:07:39,582
of everything that matters.
1178
01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:41,249
- It's a living.
1179
01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:43,749
Isn't that what you said
to him about your work?
1180
01:07:43,750 --> 01:07:45,291
- I am through with that.
1181
01:07:45,292 --> 01:07:47,541
I'm going to marry Rex
and you can't stop us.
1182
01:07:47,542 --> 01:07:48,582
What can you do?
1183
01:07:48,583 --> 01:07:50,749
Take us to court for a breach of contract?
1184
01:07:50,750 --> 01:07:52,207
Fine, we'll go to prison.
1185
01:07:52,208 --> 01:07:54,874
A prison with married quarters.
1186
01:07:54,875 --> 01:07:56,541
- Jane.
1187
01:07:56,542 --> 01:07:58,999
There is such a thing, my
dear, as the law of the jungle.
1188
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:03,124
Rex is already engaged to 179,000 women,
1189
01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,791
and at the present rate of
sales, by your own calculations,
1190
01:08:05,792 --> 01:08:07,750
to another few thousand every hour.
1191
01:08:09,167 --> 01:08:11,542
Why should I bother myself with the law?
1192
01:09:48,083 --> 01:09:52,624
- It is plain that this actor
is doing the double—cross.
1193
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:55,082
I am an expert in these matters.
1194
01:09:55,083 --> 01:09:57,416
In my country, we have a saying.
1195
01:09:57,417 --> 01:10:01,667
A partner who double—crosses
his partner is not a partner.
1196
01:10:03,917 --> 01:10:04,917
Thank you.
1197
01:10:05,667 --> 01:10:08,707
- Before I pronounce them man and wife,
1198
01:10:08,708 --> 01:10:10,666
if there are anyone here who can say
1199
01:10:10,667 --> 01:10:13,249
there is any just
impediment to this marriage,
1200
01:10:13,250 --> 01:10:16,333
let them speak now or
forever hold their peace.
1201
01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:33,874
- I must agree with previous speaker.
1202
01:10:33,875 --> 01:10:37,874
In my country, China,
when one partner disloyal,
1203
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:42,374
other partners out little
slices off till he loyal again.
1204
01:10:42,375 --> 01:10:43,791
Quick results.
1205
01:10:43,792 --> 01:10:44,792
- May I speak?
1206
01:10:47,583 --> 01:10:48,792
I told you so.
1207
01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:10,207
- Now we're three miles out, tell him
1208
01:11:10,208 --> 01:11:12,999
to marry us at once or I shoot.
1209
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:14,000
- Is it safe?
1210
01:11:14,001 --> 01:11:16,457
- I've been married by
captains at sea 10 times,
1211
01:11:16,458 --> 01:11:17,916
five major productions, three quickies,
1212
01:11:17,917 --> 01:11:19,791
and twice on television,
I know what I'm doing.
1213
01:11:19,792 --> 01:11:21,374
Come on.
1214
01:11:51,750 --> 01:11:52,958
- Have you all finished?
1215
01:11:54,292 --> 01:11:56,874
The sale of tickets closed
at 20 hours last night,
1216
01:11:56,875 --> 01:11:58,541
except in tremaggio.
1217
01:11:58,542 --> 01:12:01,083
Here we can sell them
till 20 hours tonight.
1218
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:03,375
Meeting dismissed.
1219
01:12:12,667 --> 01:12:14,707
Tonight, the
picturesque town of tremaggio
1220
01:12:14,708 --> 01:12:17,416
becomes the focus of world attention.
1221
01:12:17,417 --> 01:12:19,207
Pilgrims of all nations are converging
1222
01:12:19,208 --> 01:12:21,082
on this lakeside mecca to be present
1223
01:12:21,083 --> 01:12:25,374
when Rex allerton learns who
is to be his lucky dip bride.
1224
01:12:25,375 --> 01:12:28,207
I have just seen prince
Boris and Princess Amelia
1225
01:12:28,208 --> 01:12:29,957
of tremaggio enter with Mr. Amico,
1226
01:12:29,958 --> 01:12:31,249
the president of the syndicate.
1227
01:12:31,250 --> 01:12:32,832
He is leading them down the aisle
1228
01:12:32,833 --> 01:12:34,374
to their places in the great hall-
1229
01:12:38,958 --> 01:12:40,291
- Please, sit down.
1230
01:12:40,292 --> 01:12:43,874
This is all extravagance with
our money, I told him so.
1231
01:12:43,875 --> 01:12:44,708
Professor.
1232
01:12:44,709 --> 01:12:46,082
Rex allerton himself,
1233
01:12:46,083 --> 01:12:49,374
looking calm and composed, is
sitting by the revolving drum
1234
01:12:49,375 --> 01:12:51,874
in which the romantic hopes
of hundreds of thousands
1235
01:12:51,875 --> 01:12:54,500
of women are represented
by many slips of paper.
1236
01:12:55,417 --> 01:12:57,625
- It will soon be over
and done with, miss.
1237
01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:00,791
- This, as they say, is it.
1238
01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:02,999
- I hope you have the winning ticket.
1239
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,582
- I have bought 1462.
1240
01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:09,499
Mr. Allerton has 8273 all in my name.
1241
01:13:09,500 --> 01:13:10,999
- I hope you won't mind, miss Jane,
1242
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:15,374
but here is another 30,
with my very best respects.
1243
01:13:15,375 --> 01:13:18,917
And I've taken the Liberty,
a rabbit's foot, for luck.
1244
01:13:20,125 --> 01:13:22,041
- Oh, Jennings.
1245
01:13:22,042 --> 01:13:23,166
Thank you.
1246
01:13:23,167 --> 01:13:25,082
- And now Mr. Amico is on his feet.
1247
01:13:25,083 --> 01:13:27,749
He's helping prince Boris out of his chair
1248
01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:30,041
and escorting him to
the centre of the stage.
1249
01:13:30,042 --> 01:13:34,374
Prince Boris has started up
the steps toward the drum.
1250
01:13:34,375 --> 01:13:36,999
He's hesitating.
1251
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:38,999
Prince Boris has turned
round, he seems to be having
1252
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,041
a word with Mr. Allerton.
1253
01:13:43,708 --> 01:13:46,291
- Do you know all your numbers, miss?
1254
01:13:46,292 --> 01:13:47,916
Then here's to it.
1255
01:13:47,917 --> 01:13:50,041
This is zero hour.
1256
01:14:04,542 --> 01:14:05,375
- I can't bear to look.
1257
01:14:05,375 --> 01:14:06,375
What's happening?
1258
01:14:07,208 --> 01:14:10,250
- The royal gentleman's
looking for it, miss.
1259
01:14:36,458 --> 01:14:39,874
The royal gentleman's still
fumbling for it, miss.
1260
01:14:39,875 --> 01:14:40,999
He's got it!
1261
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,542
He's got it, he's got it,
he's got it in his mouth.
1262
01:14:53,833 --> 01:14:55,832
And now, prince Boris has handed
1263
01:14:55,833 --> 01:14:57,874
the winning ticket to the committee.
1264
01:14:57,875 --> 01:14:59,624
The committee are examining it.
1265
01:14:59,625 --> 01:15:01,332
They seem to have given it their approval,
1266
01:15:01,333 --> 01:15:04,082
and it is being brought over to me now.
1267
01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:05,374
And here it is.
1268
01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:08,375
Ladies and gentlemen, the
winning number is xk1432849.
1269
01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:15,207
I will repeat that number.
1270
01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:18,042
The winning number is xk143849.
1271
01:15:23,042 --> 01:15:24,125
- Not even close.
1272
01:16:11,625 --> 01:16:12,625
- What happened?
1273
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:13,458
Where am I?
1274
01:16:13,458 --> 01:16:14,333
- You fainted, miss.
1275
01:16:14,334 --> 01:16:16,249
- You drew the winning
number in the lottery,
1276
01:16:16,250 --> 01:16:18,249
and then when you heard
the news, you fainted.
1277
01:16:18,250 --> 01:16:20,042
- Oh, I won a lottery.
1278
01:16:21,917 --> 01:16:23,332
The lottery!
1279
01:16:23,333 --> 01:16:24,624
- Yes, you won.
1280
01:16:24,625 --> 01:16:26,042
He's yours!
1281
01:16:58,333 --> 01:16:59,916
- "Restoratives were administered,
1282
01:16:59,917 --> 01:17:03,249
but each time she heard the
news, she fainted again.
1283
01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:05,124
In the first eight
hours, she was conscious
1284
01:17:05,125 --> 01:17:07,167
for only a total of 14 minutes."
1285
01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:10,667
She sounds quieter than some, sir.
1286
01:17:11,708 --> 01:17:13,374
- Or weaker-minded.
1287
01:17:16,625 --> 01:17:17,957
- Ah, well, sir.
1288
01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,000
Here comes the bride.
1289
01:17:20,292 --> 01:17:22,833
- You go and meet cinderella,
I just can't face it.
1290
01:18:55,583 --> 01:18:57,207
- Mr. Allerton is waiting, miss.
1291
01:18:57,208 --> 01:18:58,250
I'll take you to him.
1292
01:18:59,292 --> 01:19:00,125
- Golly.
1293
01:19:00,125 --> 01:19:00,958
- Please don't faint, miss.
1294
01:19:00,958 --> 01:19:01,958
This way.
1295
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,250
Miss Haines, sir.
1296
01:19:27,083 --> 01:19:28,083
- I'm Sally.
1297
01:19:29,583 --> 01:19:31,332
I had the ticket.
1298
01:19:31,333 --> 01:19:33,124
The winning ticket.
1299
01:19:33,125 --> 01:19:34,125
Yes, I know.
1300
01:19:35,792 --> 01:19:38,291
I have the sensation that
I've seen you before.
1301
01:19:38,292 --> 01:19:39,999
- I've certainly seen you.
1302
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:41,582
In the pictures.
1303
01:19:41,583 --> 01:19:44,082
Ever since I was old enough to go.
1304
01:19:44,083 --> 01:19:45,083
- Yes, of course.
1305
01:19:46,167 --> 01:19:47,499
Well, you got the ticket.
1306
01:19:47,500 --> 01:19:50,042
Anything you want to say,
it's perfectly all right.
1307
01:19:53,667 --> 01:19:54,667
- Can I...
1308
01:20:00,458 --> 01:20:02,333
Can I have your autograph, please?
1309
01:20:16,917 --> 01:20:19,416
Imagine me going to a real ball.
1310
01:20:19,417 --> 01:20:20,999
- You look nice, Sally.
1311
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,041
-Dol?
1312
01:20:22,042 --> 01:20:22,958
Thanks.
1313
01:20:22,959 --> 01:20:26,041
I had a bath with bubbles
in it, like in the films.
1314
01:20:26,042 --> 01:20:27,082
- How was it?
1315
01:20:27,083 --> 01:20:29,832
- Sort of sticky, but awfully nice.
1316
01:20:29,833 --> 01:20:30,667
- That's good.
1317
01:20:30,668 --> 01:20:32,541
- And everywhere I went downstairs,
1318
01:20:32,542 --> 01:20:34,832
people kept asking me for my autograph.
1319
01:20:34,833 --> 01:20:37,082
Why should anybody want my autograph?
1320
01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:38,624
- Why would anybody want
anybody's autograph?
1321
01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:40,124
- Oh, well, if somebody's important
1322
01:20:40,125 --> 01:20:42,249
like a film star or a prime minister.
1323
01:20:42,250 --> 01:20:43,250
- Or an axe murderer?
1324
01:20:44,417 --> 01:20:47,207
- I only go in for film stars.
1325
01:20:47,208 --> 01:20:48,999
Don't really know why.
1326
01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:50,749
I suppose it's sort of
wanting to have something
1327
01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:52,500
that belongs to someone you admire.
1328
01:20:54,375 --> 01:20:56,249
You think it's silly, don't you?
1329
01:20:56,250 --> 01:20:58,624
- No, I think I'm just
beginning to understand it.
1330
01:20:58,625 --> 01:21:00,457
- I waited outside the palace cinema once
1331
01:21:00,458 --> 01:21:02,749
for about three hours, it was snowing too,
1332
01:21:02,750 --> 01:21:04,916
just to see Teresa
torrent and Rodney delman
1333
01:21:04,917 --> 01:21:05,999
after a premiere.
1334
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:07,416
It was terrific!
1335
01:21:07,417 --> 01:21:08,874
- Just for a glimpse of them?
1336
01:21:08,875 --> 01:21:09,999
- Oh, they never appeared at all.
1337
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:12,166
But it was terrific waiting.
1338
01:21:12,167 --> 01:21:13,416
That was the night I kicked a girl
1339
01:21:13,417 --> 01:21:15,166
because she said you wore a toupee.
1340
01:21:15,167 --> 01:21:17,250
She was bigger than I was, too, and...
1341
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:22,167
- Well, go on, pull it.
1342
01:21:23,917 --> 01:21:24,957
- Oh, no.
1343
01:21:24,958 --> 01:21:28,375
- Go ahead, after all, you fought for it.
1344
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:33,167
- I'm glad.
1345
01:21:35,125 --> 01:21:36,624
- Now, Sally, listen carefully.
1346
01:21:36,625 --> 01:21:38,624
The moment the car stops,
I'll get out first,
1347
01:21:38,625 --> 01:21:39,874
then you, then Jennings.
1348
01:21:39,875 --> 01:21:42,999
Stay in between us and don't
stop, not for anything.
1349
01:22:03,208 --> 01:22:04,375
- Oh, my shoe!
1350
01:22:07,292 --> 01:22:11,792
- Rex! Rex! Rex!
- Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex! Rex!
1351
01:22:27,042 --> 01:22:28,125
- Look at me.
1352
01:22:29,167 --> 01:22:30,749
No, don't look at me.
1353
01:22:30,750 --> 01:22:32,749
I can't go to the ball looking like this.
1354
01:22:32,750 --> 01:22:34,374
- Oh, I'm sorry, Sally.
1355
01:22:34,375 --> 01:22:35,666
You'll just have to learn
to keep moving, that's all.
1356
01:22:35,667 --> 01:22:37,374
They can't get at you so easily.
1357
01:22:37,375 --> 01:22:39,124
It gives you a chance
to sprint and get away.
1358
01:22:39,125 --> 01:22:40,832
- I'll speak to someone
at the hotel, miss.
1359
01:22:40,833 --> 01:22:42,666
Perhaps they can send
a dress over for you.
1360
01:22:42,667 --> 01:22:44,708
- No, take me home, please.
1361
01:23:01,583 --> 01:23:03,541
- Your cocoa, miss.
1362
01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:04,625
- Thank you, sir.
1363
01:23:13,208 --> 01:23:16,000
At home, I nearly always have
cocoa last thing at night.
1364
01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:18,958
Mum says it's good for me.
1365
01:23:21,167 --> 01:23:22,375
Besides, I like it.
1366
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:27,499
Is it always the way it was tonight?
1367
01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:28,957
- Yes, quite a lot of the time.
1368
01:23:28,958 --> 01:23:30,500
It's fans, you know.
1369
01:23:31,583 --> 01:23:32,500
- But that's silly.
1370
01:23:32,501 --> 01:23:34,582
I'm a terrific fan myself.
1371
01:23:34,583 --> 01:23:37,166
But if you're somebody's
fan, that means you like him.
1372
01:23:37,167 --> 01:23:39,166
Why should you want to hurt him?
1373
01:23:39,167 --> 01:23:42,249
- I think some of them get
a little over—enthusiastic.
1374
01:23:42,250 --> 01:23:44,249
- It was awful, I was scared stiff.
1375
01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:45,250
- Yes, I know.
1376
01:23:45,958 --> 01:23:47,082
I'm sorry about the ball, Sally,
1377
01:23:47,083 --> 01:23:49,541
I know how much you were
looking forward to that.
1378
01:23:49,542 --> 01:23:51,457
- Oh, that's all right.
1379
01:23:51,458 --> 01:23:54,249
You know, it's awfully
funny, you're not one bit
1380
01:23:54,250 --> 01:23:55,625
like you are on the screen.
1381
01:23:56,500 --> 01:23:57,666
- I suppose the screen Rex allerton
1382
01:23:57,667 --> 01:23:58,832
would have picked you up in his arms
1383
01:23:58,833 --> 01:23:59,667
and scampered up the draperies
1384
01:23:59,668 --> 01:24:01,624
and deposited you in the ballroom.
1385
01:24:01,625 --> 01:24:02,791
As a matter of fact,
when that mob closed in,
1386
01:24:02,792 --> 01:24:05,124
I was just as frightened as you were.
1387
01:24:05,125 --> 01:24:06,332
- I know.
1388
01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:07,333
I'm glad.
1389
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:10,082
You're quiet and gentle, aren't you?
1390
01:24:10,083 --> 01:24:11,791
Like Ralph.
1391
01:24:11,792 --> 01:24:12,874
- Ralph?
1392
01:24:12,875 --> 01:24:14,082
- A boy in London.
1393
01:24:14,083 --> 01:24:15,332
He's in love with me.
1394
01:24:15,333 --> 01:24:17,124
But what I meant about you being different
1395
01:24:17,125 --> 01:24:19,499
was the way you live.
1396
01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:21,416
I read an article that once said
1397
01:24:21,417 --> 01:24:23,832
you slept in a bed that
belonged to bluebeard,
1398
01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:25,499
and an item in a column that said
1399
01:24:25,500 --> 01:24:27,832
you were the son of an
Italian bandit chief.
1400
01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:29,999
- Oh, my father was a dentist.
1401
01:24:30,000 --> 01:24:31,208
- Just like Ralph's.
1402
01:24:32,333 --> 01:24:34,957
It's all so different, isn't it?
1403
01:24:34,958 --> 01:24:36,167
Or all the same.
1404
01:24:37,208 --> 01:24:38,292
- I suppose so.
1405
01:24:39,875 --> 01:24:41,082
I'm sorry.
1406
01:24:41,083 --> 01:24:43,458
I never had a day when
so much happened before.
1407
01:24:44,500 --> 01:24:45,500
What did happen?
1408
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:49,041
We really didn't go
anywhere at all, did we?
1409
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:50,292
- No, but we will, Sally.
1410
01:24:51,292 --> 01:24:53,582
I've got some disguises, and sometimes
1411
01:24:53,583 --> 01:24:54,667
they work pretty well.
1412
01:25:02,042 --> 01:25:03,082
- That's it.
1413
01:25:03,083 --> 01:25:05,374
Where the light is burning
on the seventh floor.
1414
01:25:05,375 --> 01:25:07,207
The one with the balcony.
1415
01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:10,249
Now, you can climb up by the vines,
1416
01:25:10,250 --> 01:25:12,957
then by the drain pipe, and
then by the fire escape.
1417
01:25:12,958 --> 01:25:16,291
- Oh, but couldn't I use
the stair or the lift?
1418
01:25:16,292 --> 01:25:18,082
- To compete with Rex allerton?
1419
01:25:18,083 --> 01:25:19,916
- Is that the way he goes in and out?
1420
01:25:19,917 --> 01:25:22,916
- Did you ever see a film
star using the stair or a lift
1421
01:25:22,917 --> 01:25:24,457
when the drain pipe is handy?
1422
01:25:24,458 --> 01:25:26,082
Well, I...
1423
01:25:26,083 --> 01:25:27,541
- Ralph griggs.
1424
01:25:27,542 --> 01:25:29,292
You do love Sally, don't you?
1425
01:25:30,917 --> 01:25:31,958
- Here, hold my coat.
1426
01:25:42,708 --> 01:25:43,583
- Come along, Sally.
1427
01:25:43,584 --> 01:25:45,042
Finish up your cocoa.
1428
01:25:47,000 --> 01:25:49,291
We'll have you tucked away
in your room in no time.
1429
01:25:49,292 --> 01:25:50,707
- Thank you.
1430
01:25:50,708 --> 01:25:52,000
You're being awfully kind.
1431
01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:54,999
When I said before that
you were different,
1432
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:58,457
I didn't mean that you weren't nice.
1433
01:25:58,458 --> 01:26:00,082
- Thank you.
1434
01:26:00,083 --> 01:26:01,750
- All this must be awful for you.
1435
01:26:02,750 --> 01:26:04,958
- You're a sweet and
very dear girl, Sally.
1436
01:26:08,583 --> 01:26:09,624
- Ralph!
1437
01:26:09,625 --> 01:26:11,207
How on earth did you get out there?
1438
01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:12,749
- I climbed up from the street.
1439
01:26:12,750 --> 01:26:14,666
Six floors up a vine and a drain pipe.
1440
01:26:14,667 --> 01:26:15,500
- Now look here.
1441
01:26:15,501 --> 01:26:17,791
- You keep out of this, this
is between me and Sally.
1442
01:26:17,792 --> 01:26:19,499
Sally, I've just got to talk to you.
1443
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:21,791
I know it's hopeless, but I've got to.
1444
01:26:21,792 --> 01:26:25,582
Sally, I love you, and,
what's that you're wearing?
1445
01:26:25,583 --> 01:26:27,249
- It's his.
1446
01:26:27,250 --> 01:26:29,041
- Well, what are you doing in it?
1447
01:26:29,042 --> 01:26:31,082
- It's perfectly all right,
we had a little scuffle
1448
01:26:31,083 --> 01:26:32,458
and her dress got torn off.
1449
01:26:33,917 --> 01:26:34,750
- Ralph!
1450
01:26:34,751 --> 01:26:35,916
Stop it, oh!
1451
01:26:35,917 --> 01:26:37,874
Oh, Ralph!
1452
01:26:37,875 --> 01:26:39,332
Stop it, he didn't tear my dress off-
1453
01:26:39,333 --> 01:26:41,749
- I don't care who tore
your dress, it's his fault!
1454
01:26:41,750 --> 01:26:42,750
Oh!
1455
01:26:43,708 --> 01:26:44,542
Oh!
1456
01:26:44,543 --> 01:26:46,666
Oh, you beast, you brute, oh!
1457
01:26:46,667 --> 01:26:47,749
Brute, oh!
1458
01:26:47,750 --> 01:26:49,207
- Ooh, ow!
1459
01:26:49,208 --> 01:26:50,957
- Oh, Ralph, speak to me.
1460
01:26:50,958 --> 01:26:51,999
Say you forgive me, oh!
1461
01:26:52,000 --> 01:26:54,541
Well don't just sit there, get a doctor!
1462
01:26:54,542 --> 01:26:56,416
- Don't stand about,
Jennings, get a doctor.
1463
01:26:56,417 --> 01:26:57,833
- Oh, Ralph, speak to me.
1464
01:26:59,583 --> 01:27:02,583
- Well, the young gentleman
seems all right, sir.
1465
01:27:06,250 --> 01:27:07,541
- Well, don't just stand
there, get a minister.
1466
01:27:07,542 --> 01:27:08,708
- Two ministers.
1467
01:27:14,708 --> 01:27:15,792
Hiya, smitty.
1468
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:21,207
- Why, the idea of you climbing
up vines and drain pipes.
1469
01:27:21,208 --> 01:27:23,249
- I wanted to behave like a film star.
1470
01:27:23,250 --> 01:27:24,250
Like him.
1471
01:27:26,708 --> 01:27:27,708
I still do.
1472
01:27:44,917 --> 01:27:48,499
- Sir, I'm not a curiosity
seeker or an autograph hunter.
1473
01:27:48,500 --> 01:27:49,500
Permit me.
1474
01:27:51,750 --> 01:27:55,083
I am Andre amico,
chairman of the syndicate.
100489
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