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1
00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:07,333
[rock music]
2
00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:09,667
- * Tear it down
3
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:11,500
* Tear it down
4
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:16,033
*
5
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,800
- Caroline, you look
like a country music star.
6
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,367
How'd you get
those curls?
7
00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,433
- I slept sitting up
with Coke cans in my hair,
8
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:26,067
but it was worth it.
These pictures last forever.
9
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,500
- Pictures?
10
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,533
- Oh, my God. How could you
forget about Picture Day?
11
00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:32,967
I gave myself a colonic
and full body exfoliation
12
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,167
just to prepare.
13
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,533
- What are you slathering
yourself with?
14
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,567
- Self tanner.
It takes a while to set,
15
00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:39,000
but by this afternoon,
I will be
16
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,500
intriguingly
ethnically ambiguous.
17
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,700
- Dudes, my pic
is gonna look jacked.
18
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,033
I haven't had my eyebrows done
in three weeks.
19
00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:46,333
- You look
naturally beautiful.
20
00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:47,967
- You look like
a '70s vagina with eyes,
21
00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,333
but don't worry.
22
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:50,967
I have an emergency
waxing kit in my desk.
23
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,167
I can totally fix them.
24
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,567
- Thanks.
25
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:56,900
- Morning, ladies,
you all look really nice.
26
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,533
Feldman.
27
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,500
I just wanted to stop by
to tell you
28
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,233
that we've hired
a new photographer this year,
29
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:07,100
Don LaRondasack.
No more Geoff with a G.
30
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,433
- Oh, but I liked
Geoff with a G.
31
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:09,833
He always put me
at ease.
32
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,733
I get really self-conscious
having my picture taken.
33
00:01:11,733 --> 00:01:13,967
- Well, I'm sure
this LaRondasack fellow
34
00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:15,500
will be just fine.
35
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:18,767
He's got a firm hand-shake,
looks like he works out,
36
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,100
nice smile.
37
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:26,400
Anyway, it's time to announce
whose class gets the honor
38
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,467
of having their photo taken
with our mascot, Millard.
39
00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:32,133
- He's not a mascot.
He's an "ig-whuana,"
40
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,700
and he shouldn't be
paraded around like a trophy
41
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:36,400
by the winning class each year.
It makes me sick.
42
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,633
- Well, I love it,
and I really need a win.
43
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:41,833
This could turn
my year around.
44
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:45,600
There's only so much Chardonnay
and cough syrup can do.
45
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:50,233
- The winner of
the school spirit prize is...
46
00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:51,600
Ms. Watson's class!
47
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,533
- Oh!
48
00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:54,200
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
49
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,667
Oh, my God!
Oh, my--
50
00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:57,300
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
51
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,700
Thank you,
thank you so much.
52
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,333
Oh, my God, this is gonna
change everything!
53
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,433
- Easy, tiger.
It's just a dumb iguana.
54
00:02:02,433 --> 00:02:04,833
- Nobody likes a sore loser,
Deb, especially a winner,
55
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,567
and I am the winner!
I am the winner!
56
00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:11,433
I am the winner!
I did it! Yeah!
57
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:14,600
In your face! In your face!
In your face!
58
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,533
- Oh, cool. I didn't think
that you were gonna do me.
59
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:21,633
- Yes! Oh, how you like me now?
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
60
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:27,600
- God, that stuff is making
this whole room
61
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,767
smell like a sloppy
sorority girl.
62
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,200
- Thank you, but I can't
wax you right now.
63
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,900
I'm in the middle
of my own crisis.
64
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,967
I'm still not the right shade.
I'm supposed to be Camel Taupe.
65
00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:39,933
- No, camel toe isn't a color,
it's a shape.
66
00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:41,833
- Camel Taupe, with a "p"!
67
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:42,967
- Oh.
68
00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:44,200
- [sighs]
I'm getting carpal tunnel
69
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,567
trying to deal
with this streaky mess.
70
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,633
- Oh, here, I'll help.
71
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:51,067
I'll do it everywhere
so it all looks the same.
72
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,333
- Just make sure
it looks good.
73
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,400
- Oh, don't worry,
I got this.
74
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,300
I had to paint a rec center
one summer
75
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,467
for community service.
76
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,667
There she goes.
77
00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:03,400
- Okay, Cinderella,
do me a favor.
78
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,900
I want you
to look at the birdie.
79
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,133
Where's the birdie?
80
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,067
That's not a birdie,
that's my hand!
81
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:09,267
- What? Come on.
- [laughs]
82
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:11,267
Great job.
Next!
83
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,100
Hi.
84
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,900
- Hi.
I just want to warn you
85
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,400
I get a little nervous
when I have my picture taken.
86
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,200
- Oh.
Well, there's no need to worry.
87
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,167
Old Don's gonna make sure that
you're very well taken care of.
88
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,433
All you gotta do is
sit back and relax.
89
00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:27,167
- Okay.
- All right. Now, normally,
90
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:28,233
at this point,
I would say, "Cheese,"
91
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,300
but you're not a mouse.
92
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,367
- [laughs]
- There it is.
93
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:34,100
Oh.
What are you worried about?
94
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,167
You have a very
captivating smile.
95
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,567
It's very nice.
96
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,400
You know what?
Let's take another one,
97
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,667
all right?
All right, this time, um...
98
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:44,400
just shake your jaw loose.
Kind of give me a little--
99
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,800
[both blubbering]
- There you go,
100
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,167
and while you're doing that,
then just kind of--
101
00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:49,067
do that, push out your lips.
Just--
102
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:51,100
Yeah, just like--like you're
tasting something sour,
103
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,067
you know?
Yeah, there you go.
104
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,367
Very nice, very nice.
Um--
105
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:56,733
I don't know, arch your back
maybe, just--
106
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:59,067
yeah, I want you sitting up
straight and tall,
107
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,800
very confident,
very ...strong.
108
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,500
There you go,
arch that back.
109
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,067
Nice, now give me
a little twist.
110
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,500
Maybe lower the shoulder
a little bit. Yeah, that's it.
111
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,667
Don't--don't lose
the lips.
112
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:08,533
Something sour.
Mmm, what's going on?
113
00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,933
I don't know, yeah,
you nasty little slut.
114
00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:12,133
Okay.
[laughs]
115
00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:13,600
Great.
Well done, very nice.
116
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,433
We're done here.
Next.
117
00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:19,533
You look like a baseball player.
Am I right? Huh?
118
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:26,300
- Blake?
119
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,300
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
120
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,967
Where did you get
that shirt?
121
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,767
- My mom sent it to me
from Myrtle Beach.
122
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:41,900
- Oh. So your mom and dad
are still separated?
123
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,067
- Yeah.
124
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,267
- Your poor father.
125
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,233
He's such a nice, caring,
perfect man.
126
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:49,067
It must be lonely for him...
127
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,333
and for you.
128
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,500
- Is that what you wanted
to talk about?
129
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,633
- No.
I'm just concerned
130
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,733
that only the first word
on your shirt
131
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:59,233
will show in the photo,
you know what I mean?
132
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,667
- No.
133
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,100
- I'll just call your dad
and have him
134
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,400
bring you
another shirt.
135
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,700
- I'll call--
- I'll call him.
136
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,433
- I'll call him--
- I'll call him.
137
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,467
- Now I know for some of us,
it's been
138
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:19,300
an emotionally exhausting year
fraught with disappointment,
139
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,600
and we thought that getting
our class picture taken
140
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,767
with Millard would finally
get the pendulum
141
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:25,967
swinging
in the other direction,
142
00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:30,100
but sometimes you win
and sometimes you lose,
143
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:34,300
and unfortunately, today,
I have some sad news...
144
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,500
For the other classes...
because we won!
145
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,900
[all cheering]
146
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,167
- Oh! oh!
147
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,600
- We love you,
Ms. Watson!
148
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,400
- It's the best day
of my life!
149
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,733
- Millard!
150
00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:51,900
all: Millard! Millard!
Millard! Millard!
151
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,733
Millard! Millard!
152
00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,333
[trailing off]
Millard. Millard.
153
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:59,067
- He's not doing anything.
154
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,967
- Well, I think
he's asleep.
155
00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:03,133
Maybe you could wake him up,
Rodney?
156
00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:13,500
Maybe tap a little harder?
157
00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:17,900
- Millard's dead!
158
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,400
[all screaming]
159
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,800
- Oh. Oh. Okay.
160
00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:31,767
- I know for some of us,
we thought that this was
161
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,667
going to pull us
out of an emotional nose dive,
162
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:38,800
but Millard has
passed away.
163
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,500
Has anyone ever had a pet
die before?
164
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,667
David?
165
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:45,233
- Pets don't die.
My mom said
166
00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:47,400
all of my hermit crabs
went to the farm.
167
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,167
- There's no farm, dummy.
They're dead.
168
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:52,933
- Rodney, that's enough.
169
00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:56,567
David, I think it's really nice
that your mom told you
170
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:59,633
there's a farm.
It's a wonderful thought.
171
00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:02,500
- So there's no farm?
172
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,700
- I didn't say that.
173
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,400
- What are you gonna
tell me next,
174
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,933
there's no Santa Claus?
175
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,433
Why are you taking so long
to answer?
176
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,533
- Poor Millard.
177
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:20,633
- I know.
I tried to talk to my students
178
00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:22,800
about death, but then
I ruined Christmas.
179
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,633
- Just order them a pizza.
This just in,
180
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,667
kids love pizza.
[scoffs]
181
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:29,467
- You could tell them
about heaven,
182
00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:33,067
but apparently,
that's "illegal" in schools.
183
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:36,467
- All I can say is,
we better watch our backs.
184
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:37,600
Millard's number one.
185
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,933
- What are you talking about?
186
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:40,067
- Rule of threes.
187
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:41,633
Death always comes
in threes.
188
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,067
- No, that's a myth.
- Maybe you should celebrate
189
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,067
Millard's life
by having a ceremony.
190
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,267
- That's a really good idea.
191
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:47,533
- Hey,
did the photographer say
192
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,400
anything inappropriate
to any of you?
193
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,900
- I haven't had
my picture taken yet.
194
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,733
I still gotta deal with
these mustaches over my eyes.
195
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:56,200
- He was really nice to me.
Is something wrong?
196
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,400
- Yeah, you know what?
There is.
197
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,600
I will not be treated
like a piece of meat.
198
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:05,100
[door closing]
199
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:08,733
- So where'd we land
on the pizza?
200
00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:11,267
- Don?
Do you have a minute?
201
00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:15,467
- Well, I'm here all day,
so I've got 1,440 of them,
202
00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:17,800
to be exact.
[laughs]
203
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,367
That's how many minutes
are in a day.
204
00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:21,933
- Yeah, I got that.
- Okay.
205
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,600
- I just want you
to know...
206
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,533
I was not amused
by what you said to me.
207
00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:28,933
- Ugh.
The mouse joke, huh?
208
00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:30,100
I know, I'm sorry.
209
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,367
- No.
210
00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:34,767
You called me a--
nasty little slut.
211
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,533
- I did?
212
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:37,733
I do not recall that.
213
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,667
- I feel that
you saw I was nervous
214
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,233
and preyed
on my insecurity.
215
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:46,500
- Well, wow, I...definitely
didn't mean to upset you,
216
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:49,633
and I sure didn't want
to cause any offense.
217
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:53,067
I have a sister,
so I really respect women.
218
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,133
- Okay.
219
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,933
- Let me make it up to you,
okay?
220
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:57,833
Let me just take
another picture of you.
221
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,633
It'll be fine, it'll be--
I want you to be comfortable.
222
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,333
I want this to be
a good experience.
223
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,500
- Okay.
- Okay, there you go.
224
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,067
If you don't mind,
say, "Cheese."
225
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,800
Unless you're
lactose intolerant!
226
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:11,133
All right.
227
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,400
Oh, great.
We're all set.
228
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:17,567
Hit the bricks,
you dirty little hooker.
229
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:18,733
- [gasps]
230
00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:20,167
- Okey dokey, Smokey,
who's next?
231
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:23,133
Get in here!
Wow, look at you.
232
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:25,333
[bagpipes playing]
233
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,333
- [grunts]
234
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,800
- * Oh, Danny boy
235
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,833
* The pipes,
the pipes are calling *
236
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:38,233
- Did you guys know
that art can happen anywhere?
237
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:40,067
Yeah, it can.
238
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:44,167
That's why we have things
like flash mobs and graffiti.
239
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,233
Can anyone else give me
some other examples of art?
240
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,500
Good, yeah.
Lucas?
241
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,400
- Well, artists
like Jackson Pollock
242
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,600
and Wassily Kandinksy
demonstrated
243
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,300
that we do not need
to accurately represent--
244
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,167
- If anyone has
an extra video game,
245
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:59,067
it sounds like Lucas
could really use one.
246
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:01,600
All right, guys,
now we're going to see
247
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,533
art happen
right in front of us.
248
00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,000
Crazy, right?
249
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,133
Ms. Snap is
going to wax my eyebrows.
250
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:10,433
- Just so you know, I don't
normally look like this.
251
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,867
When my tan sets,
I will look like J-Lo.
252
00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:14,733
- This is gonna be
really fun.
253
00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:18,000
It's like arts and crafts,
but on my face.
254
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,533
- Wow, that was
impressive.
255
00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:21,867
When I have
something personal to do,
256
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,767
I just tell my kids
to zip it and silent-read.
257
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:26,533
- Oh, yeah, I can turn anything
into a lesson.
258
00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:28,367
Tomorrow I'm teaching math
by having them
259
00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:30,433
add up my tax receipts.
260
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,300
- [whispering]
Here we go.
261
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:37,033
Okay, one, two, three!
262
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:39,967
- Oh!
263
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:49,733
- Art.
264
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,867
- Since when do you
do makeup?
265
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:57,933
- I have to fix my eyebrows.
Snap gave my face a Brazilian.
266
00:10:57,933 --> 00:10:59,867
- [sighs]
267
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,733
- What's wrong? Did someone
put compost in the recycling?
268
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:04,800
- No. This morning,
the photographer called me
269
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,233
a "nasty little slut."
270
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,867
- Wait, what?
271
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,633
- Yeah, and when I went to go
talk to him about it later,
272
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,833
he called me
a "dirty little hooker."
273
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,667
I know.
I was shocked too.
274
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,367
- Oh, hell no!
If he thinks he's gonna get away
275
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:20,067
with that Cosby crap,
he's got another think coming.
276
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:23,300
- You don't think she's
gonna hurt him, do you?
277
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,767
- Probably.
278
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,667
She nut-punched Mr. Werner
for taking her parking space.
279
00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:28,900
Although in her defense,
she did have
280
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,667
a ten-day period
that month.
281
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,800
- [humming]
282
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:39,700
- Ms. Bennigan?
283
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,267
- [whispering]
Hot Dad.
284
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,600
- What?
- Hmm?
285
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,900
Nothing.
Hey, you.
286
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,167
- I got your voicemail,
I came down as soon as I could.
287
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,200
- Thank you so much.
288
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,300
Did you bring
a new shirt for Blake?
289
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,833
- Shirt?
In your message,
290
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,067
you just said to come down
to the school and hung up.
291
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:57,500
It sounded like
an emergency.
292
00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:00,167
- Oh, um, it is.
293
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:04,167
You see, what Blake's shirt says
is inappropriate.
294
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:05,167
- What does it say?
295
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,800
- Well--
[chuckles]
296
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,133
You know what shirt
he was wearing.
297
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:10,400
- I don't.
I'm sorry,
298
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,133
still trying to get used to
this whole single dad thing.
299
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,700
- [laughs nervously]
300
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,400
- Are you all right?
You're turning really red.
301
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,900
- Dick!
302
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,833
His shirt says "Dick.
Mack's.
303
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:26,433
Dick Mack's Crab Shack."
[laughs]
304
00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:28,533
And today is picture day.
305
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,400
- Oh, God.
I didn't even realize.
306
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,567
When are the photos?
307
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:32,567
- They're in line
at the cafeteria
308
00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:33,567
to take them right now.
309
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:35,067
- [sighs]
Well,
310
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,067
there's no way I can get
back to the house in time.
311
00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,867
And we can't have him
wearing that shirt.
312
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:41,533
- No.
We can't.
313
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,800
- You know what?
314
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,867
It's gonna be a little big
on him, but...
315
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,867
- [groans]
316
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,200
- He can wear this.
317
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,367
- [laughs]
318
00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:57,367
- You all right?
319
00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:58,700
- [laughs]
320
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:00,800
I'm fine.
[laughs]
321
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,700
I'll be back right--
[laughs]
322
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,200
I'll be back ri--
323
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,867
I'ma be right back.
[laughs] Okay.
324
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:17,067
- Today has been
a hard day.
325
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:20,367
But you know,
Millard isn't gone forever.
326
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,700
Even though he's not here
physically,
327
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:26,067
his spirit is
actually everywhere.
328
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,533
Now, why don't we
lay him to rest
329
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:30,667
so he can finally be free?
330
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:48,233
- Oh, my God!
It's the old Millard!
331
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,733
- Okay, let's just calm down,
everyone.
332
00:13:50,733 --> 00:13:53,867
[all screaming]
333
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,200
- Hey!
You just ruined
334
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,067
the most important day
of the year for me.
335
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,700
It is picture day,
and I look
336
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:12,067
like a Florida Panhandle
meth addict!
337
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:15,067
What are you surprised about?
Of course I am mad.
338
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:17,233
Look at what you did to me!
339
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,333
I was gonna be the hottest
teacher this year
340
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,567
because Theresa Larson
looks like a fat pig
341
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:24,233
now that she's pregnant.
342
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:25,433
Don't act surprised.
343
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,967
Everyone is thinking it.
I am just saying it.
344
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,167
And now I look like
my asshole
345
00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:33,667
before I bleached it!
[sobs]
346
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:36,067
Does it surprise you
that I'm crying?
347
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:39,500
'Cause I am the most sensitive
person in this school.
348
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:44,100
How dare you be surprised
that I have feelings?
349
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,733
Screw you!
350
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:52,933
I'm sorry.
You should be surprised.
351
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:56,067
My behavior is
unacceptable.
352
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,533
You're the best.
353
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,700
You have pizza breath.
354
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:13,400
- [sniffs deeply]
355
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,400
- Oh, Ms. Bennigan.
356
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,067
- Yes, that's me.
357
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,700
- Oh.
You all right?
358
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:23,200
- Oh, I-I was just--making sure
the shirt was still clean.
359
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,400
[laughs]
Let me just check
360
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,767
a couple more things here.
361
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:30,600
Check, check, check,
check, check, check, chicken.
362
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,067
- Is it okay?
363
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,900
- It's perfect.
364
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:41,200
- Can I--let me just--
365
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:44,233
Oh.
366
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:45,533
Yeah.
367
00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:46,800
There you go.
368
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,333
Just gonna go
put it back on.
369
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,333
- Okay.
370
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,067
- All right.
371
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,367
- Well, howdy, partner.
372
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:57,767
I'm the fastest photographer
in the west.
373
00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,867
Just pull up a seat
and saddle up.
374
00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:02,333
- Oh, so I can ride you?
Huh?
375
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:06,100
You'd like that, wouldn't you,
you perverted freak?
376
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:09,833
I know all about you,
and I bet you'd just love it
377
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:12,667
if I posed
like a nasty little slut
378
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,400
and gobbled your balls!
379
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,467
- Excuse me?
380
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:17,733
- Oh, I know pigs
like you.
381
00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:20,300
You love a good ball gobble.
Huh?
382
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,533
Oh, like this? Huh?
Little gobble like this?
383
00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:25,233
[babbling]
Huh? Huh?
384
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:26,667
[babbling]
385
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,267
Huh? Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
386
00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:29,833
Yeah, you like that?
What about this, huh?
387
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:31,700
Huh?
What about this, huh?
388
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,267
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Oh, oh.
389
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:35,467
Oh, ah, ah.
[groaning]
390
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:36,900
Huh? Huh?
Oh,
391
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,933
are you getting your rocks off
on this, you freak?
392
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:42,167
[groaning]
393
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,433
Now! Let me tell you
what's gonna happen.
394
00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:48,833
You are gonna take my picture
and you are not gonna say
395
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:53,433
one inappropriate thing to me
or any other teacher ever again.
396
00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:56,367
You got that,
you weasel-dicked meat-jerker?
397
00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:01,067
- Yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
398
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,367
I have a sister.
399
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,867
Okay, uh...
400
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:09,533
please--please smile.
401
00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:13,300
Okay, lovely.
402
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,967
- I know today
we've all experienced things
403
00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:21,367
that are...
difficult to understand,
404
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:23,567
and I spoke
with Principal Pearson
405
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:26,300
and he arranged for
the district's grief counselor,
406
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,933
Mrs. Moore, to come
and talk to us about death
407
00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:33,567
and some of the feelings
we are having.
408
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:36,500
Mrs. Moore?
409
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,067
- [groans]
410
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,333
- Mrs. Moore?
411
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,067
Mrs. Moore?
412
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:53,167
- Is this
a demonstration?
413
00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:56,200
- Uh--uh,
Don't worry, it's all right.
414
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,867
I'm sure she's just
taking a nap.
415
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:00,333
- That's what you said
about Millard!
416
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,300
- Look, everything's
going to be fine.
417
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,400
Mrs. Moore?
418
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:11,933
Rule of threes.
Number two.
419
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:14,067
- She's dead!
420
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,567
[all screaming]
421
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,633
[indistinct radio chatter]
422
00:18:24,633 --> 00:18:28,700
- Um, hello, Mrs. Cregan?
This is Ms. Watson.
423
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,900
I was just calling
all the parents to let them know
424
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:34,233
that the children witnessed
a couple of deaths today.
425
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,300
- Ms. Cannon?
426
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,467
Can I talk to you
for a minute, please?
427
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,067
Ms. Cannon, please, can I just
talk to you for a minute?
428
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:45,400
- What?
429
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,967
- I just want to apologize
for the way I acted today.
430
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,800
It was totally
inappropriate.
431
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,167
I don't even know where
that first comment came from.
432
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,433
It just--
And then when you confronted me,
433
00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,767
I was--
well, I was ashamed.
434
00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:00,367
I don't know if I told you this
or not, but...
435
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,367
[sighs]
I have a sister,
436
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:05,900
and I really respect women.
437
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,733
Probably doesn't mean
anything to you now,
438
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:12,567
but I'm truly,
truly sorry.
439
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,100
- Thank you
for your apology.
440
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,533
- No problem.
441
00:19:20,533 --> 00:19:22,733
- I really appreciate it.
442
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,200
- I bet you do,
you grubby little skank!
443
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,667
- [laughs]
- [gasps]
444
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:27,767
- Ah!
445
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,933
[van horn honking]
- [screams]
446
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:33,467
Three.
447
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:36,667
[rock music]
448
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:43,833
*
449
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,467
- * Tear it down
450
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:49,400
* Tear it down
Tear it down *
451
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:56,467
[rock music]
452
00:19:56,467 --> 00:20:04,267
*
453
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:07,533
- * Tear it down
454
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:08,900
* Tear it down
455
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,233
*
456
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:15,367
* Tear it down
Tear it down *
457
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:19,367
- Oh, yeah.
32580
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