All language subtitles for Bonanza S03E05 The Burma Rarity.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS

♪♪

Hot dog!

I could smell them biscuits
a mile down the road!

Mmm!

You remember why
you went into town?

Y-Yes, sir.
What did I go to town for?

The mail.

Oh, yeah, the mail. Uh...

Pa, you got
a letter here from a...

Judge Dean Benton Sylvester
from Houston, Texas.

You know him?

Yeah.
Dean's an old friend of mine.

Hey, listen to this.

"Dear Ben,
two of my very dear friends

"will arrive in Virginia City
on the third of next month,

"where they plan to do
some investing in land.

"Their names are
Phil Axe and Henry Morgan.

"These men are honest
as the day is long, Ben,

"and I would take it
as a personal favor

"if you would act
as their sponsor

"and introduce them
around your community.

Dean Benton Sylvester."

Well, what do you know.

Isn't this the... isn't
this the third of the month?

It sure is, Pa.
Mm-hmm.

I'd better get into town
and make some arrangements

for them for a place to stay.

Pa, you want to know
the best place to stay?

Where's that?
At Widow Hawkins'.

She takes in boarders,
doesn't she, Pa?

Yes, sir, and, Pa, she sets
the best table in town.

She's the best cook
I ever saw in my whole life.

Uh, except for Hop Sing here.

She's very neat, too.

The only person
in Virginia City

that changes her
guest's towels once a week.

If you don't mind, gentlemen,

I would prefer
not to discuss Widow Hawkins.

Now, wait a minute, Pa,

she's got the only
decent place in town.

You can't expect the judge's
friends to stay anywhere else.

Mm...

I suppose you're
right about her...

having the best place
in town to board.

Well...

well, I'll...
I'll go in and talk to her.

Adam, would you, uh...
would you care to come with me?

Wh-Why, Pa?

Protection?

Now, Pa doesn't need

any protection
against the widow.

He spent a whole day with her

last year at the June picnic,
had a wonderful time.

I spent the whole day with her
at the June picnic

because I happened to draw
her name out of a goldfish bowl

in which were the names
of 50 other ladies!

I hear tell, Pa,
around town that...

you sort of arranged that.

Now, just one long minute!

And you look at me
when I talk to you.

Yes, sir.

I know that half the people
of Virginia City

are trying to get me
married off to Widow Hawkins.

Now, maybe I have to take
their smirks and innuendos,

but I don't have to take it
from my own family, you hear?!

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

"Yes, sir."

You coming along, Adam?

I'm with you every step
of the way, Pa,

right down the aisle.

♪♪

0h!

Oh! Benjamin, dear boy,

how nice of you to come calling.

Well, Clementine, it's...
very nice to see you.

You, uh...
you know my son Adam.

Oh, yes, I know all your sons.

Especially the big one,

who looks like
a peeled grizzly bear.

Oh, that's, uh, Hoss.

Oh, yes,
I remember him very well.

But, uh, then
you have another son, um...

Oh, you...
uh, Tiny Tim, is it?

Uh, no, Widow Hawkins,
that's Little Joe.

Ch, of course, Little Joe.

I have the most
frightful time with names.

But do come in,
and I'll brew you a nice cup

of sassafras tea.
Clementine, I, uh, actually,

we really don't have time to...

Now, Benjamin, that is
not being very neighborly.

For years I've been trying to
show you the inside of my house,

and now is the time.

And I shall not take no
for an answer!

Why, it will be jolly having
your friends ensconced here

as paying guests.

Oh, the tea will be ready!

♪♪

You know, there's only one thing
missing from this room.

What's that?

A trapeze bar
hanging from the ceiling.

Well, Benjamin,
I see you've been admiring

some of my posters.

Yes, uh...

My, I do miss the theater so.

You know, that was how
I met my late departed.

Oh, uh... Mr. Hawkins.

Coo. He were
a fine gent, he were.

Thank you.

A better husband
no lady could ever wish for.

Courteous to the extreme,

generous to a fault,

and all muscle!

Oh, I do Miss Harry
so very much.

You have no idea
how lonely it gets

living in this huge place...

without a man around the house.

Uh, Clementine,
thank you very much for the tea.

Oh, not at all.

With your friends staying here
and you visiting them,

it'll give us a chance
to catch up on our talking.

Well, good-bye, ducky.

Come again... soon.

Uh...

since I'm in town, I might
as well tell Mr. Jefferson

Mr. Axe and Mr. Morgan
are coming to Virginia City.

All right, ducky.

What was that again?

Oh, I said
we better not be late.

Uh, Hop Sing is serving
stuffed duck for dinner.

Yeah.

You water these horses
and meet me at the bank.

Morning.

Ah. Howdy, Smiling Sam.

Oh, howdy, Ben.

Uh, that's a little
crooked there, Sam.

How's the electioneering going?

Fair to middling.

Give me another
crack at the mayor's office

and I'll put every crook
in Virginia City behind bars!

As head of the reform ticket

that is my platform!

What are you doing in town?

Oh, I, uh, I came to see,
uh, Clementine Hawkins.

Oh---...

Sam...

it was strictly business.

Oh-ho, sure, business.

Yes, business.

Now, it just so happens

that there are
two wealthy businessmen

coming here to Virginia City
to invest in land.

And I'm fixin' for them
to board at Clementine's place!

So you see,
it was strictly business.

Oh!
I beg your pardon, Ben.

Sorry, Harry.
Listen, uh...

a couple of things
I'd like to talk to you about.

I'll tell you,
you go in my office.

I've got some business
to attend to.

I'll be back in about
ten minutes. Harry...

my business won't wait.

Are you in that much of a hurry
to get out of town?

Yeah.

Oh, very well.

0h.
I'm sorry, Harry. I...

Ah.

There it is.

750 acres of river bottom land.

Fella that owned it
let it go for taxes.

Shouldn't cost us
more than 50 cents an acre.

Oh? Excellent, Sam!

But... that's excellent.

Yeah.

Well...

you think we should get
about $25 an acre for it?

Well, now, Sam,
let's not be greedy.

Uh, let's ask, uh,
$20 an acre and...

then we could settle for $15.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Well, you see, it's not only
conveniently close to the town,

but over yonder,
just beyond those trees,

there's a lovely creek
that flows through the property.

We call it Sunny Acres.

Well, it's beautiful,
just bee-u-tee-ful.

And it appears to be exactly
what we've been looking for.

What price are
you asking for it?

Well, sir, we've decided
to let it go at a sacrifice.

Uh, shall we say $20 an acre?

Well, that sounds fair.

And, uh, equitable.
We'll buy it.

Now, uh, gentlemen,
do you wish to pay for the land

in money or by check?

Oh, uh, by cash, of course.

Yes, as, uh, soon
as we sell our nest egg.

Nest egg?

An emerald-- one of the world's
largest and most perfect.

See, it's called
the Burma Rarity,

and by consolidating
our cash, gentlemen,

in this beautiful gem,

we eliminate
the hazard of carrying

large sums of currency
upon our persons.

Well, how much is it worth?

Well, it's been
appraised at $50,000,

but we are so anxious to get our
land project development started

we are willing to let it go
at $25,000 cash.

$25,000?!

Precisely.

Well, uh, gentlemen, uh,

my bank... will be happy to, uh,

to purchase your gem.

Of course, I'll have
to have the approval

of the board
of directors, but...

that will require
only a few days.

Uh... gentlemen, if you were
to ask Clementine Hawkins,

I'd say this should go
as "first come, first serve."

Do I understand that
you want to buy the emerald?

Coo. And wouldn't
I be a foolish one

to let pass such a quick profit.

Where are you
gonna get the money?

I have $15,000 cash,
and I'll borrow the other ten.

Mr. Jefferson,

do you think your bank would
mortgage my boarding house

and the 125 acres beyond it
for $10,000?

Well, I... I suppose so.

If-If I have to.

Good. Then I shall
come down to your bank today

and get the cash.

Oh, um... but perhaps I ought
to have this appraised first.

Oh, uh, very wise
precaution, madam.

Positively flawless.

Magnificent stone.

Allow me to read you
this little card.

"The Burma Rarity--

"A replica of
the famed Emerald of Burma.

"Lately, a part
of the collection

of J. Willoughby Smythe,
San Francisco financier."

Now, madam, we wish you
to have this handsomely engraved

little card
absolutely free of charge,

along with this genuine fake
replica of the Burma Rarity.

Now, madam, I would advise
that you keep this replica

on the table here under glass.

Yes, it will add to the decor
of your room, ma'am.

Yes, indeed.

Now, of course, the,
uh, the genuine jewel

you will keep locked
in your safe.

What do you estimate the value
of this stone to be, Mr. Nagel?

Oh---...

possibly as high as $50,000.

Certainly no less.

Coo!

Then I am to make
a clear profit of $25,000.

And my dear Benjamin
made all this possible.

The Burma Rarity...

and the imitation...

alike as two proverbial
peas in a proverbial pod.

Oh, I beg your pardon.
Gesundheit.

And, uh, now, madam,

shall we complete
the transaction?

Oh, yes, of course.

$25,000.

Thank you very much.

Oh, how clumsy of me!

What happened?
Uh, the emerald.

I've dropped the Burma Rarity.

What happened?
What happened here? I'll go...

Over there,
Mr. Morgan, on your side.

I've got it.

Oh. It's all right.

Oh.

Here you are, ma'am,
the Burma Rarity.

Oh, Mr. Nagel,
I believe that will be all.

I wish to thank you
for your cooperation,

wish you good luck,
and good afternoon.

Thank you, sir.

Uh, good day, ma'am.
Good day.

And, uh, now, gentlemen,
if you'd care

to pay us for the property.

That's 750 acres
at $20 an acre:

exactly $15,000.

Uh... well, Mr. Jefferson,

we dislike to transact
business this late in the day.

Yes, if you'd be willing
to come to our room

the first thing in the morning
with the deed to the property,

we'll be more than happy
to transact the entire deal.

Well, I'd hoped to finish
the transaction at this time.

Uh, Mr. Jefferson, shall
we say 7:00 in the morning?

Oh, very well,
7:00 in the morning.

Good day, gentlemen.

Very well.
Mr. Morgan.

Coming, Mr. Axe.

Uh... good day, Mrs. Hawkins.

Good day.

Smiling Sam.
Good day.

Good day.

Ah, you beautiful moneymaker.

Isn't that gorgeous?

Isn't that beautiful?

Mr. Axe, do you realize
this is the fifth time

since the first of the year
that we've sold the emerald?

Yes, Mr. Morgan, I realize that.

And do you realize that
our total profit to date

is exactly $125,000?

By the way, who is scheduled to
be our next suc... uh, customer?

Well, I believe, uh,
Ben Cartwright mentioned

a rancher friend of his
up in Oregon.

Yes. And also remind me
that I've got to order

some more gla... uh, emeralds.

Oh, yes, put it back.

♪♪

Good morning, gentlemen.
Widow Hawkins.

Do come in.
Mrs. Hawkins.

We want to talk
to Mr. Axe and Mr. Morgan.

We have here the deeds
and titles to Sunny Acres.

Now, all we have to do
is to get their signatures.

And their money.

It seems my erstwhile boarders

left bright and early
this morning.

Left this morning?

Yes, but only for a few days,

just to complete
some unfinished business.

They left a note, and they told
me they would return in one week

at which time they will complete

their business
transaction with you.

Return within the week.
Mm-hmm.

And in the interim, they want
you to prepare Sunny Acres

for a town site.

Prepare Sunny Acres
for a town site?

What do they mean?

Well, they request that
you stake out individual lots

on which they wish
to build homes,

and each lot is to be exactly
one-half acre in size.

Each lot one-half acre in size?

There are 750 acres...

They want us
to stake out 1,500 lots?

Oh, dear.

Precisely.
And in case you don't know it,

they borrowed
your horse and wagon

for "necessary transportation."

So far this deal has cost us
one wagon and two horses.

Coo, gentlemen!

Think of all
the money you'll make.

Now, Mrs. Hawkins is right, Sam.

Well, we'd better get to it.

We've certainly got our work cut
out for us the next few days.

Good day, Mrs. Hawkins.
Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, gentlemen.
Good day.

♪♪

♪♪

Hey, Pa?
Yeah?

Pa...

I was just out
rounding up some strays

over on the other side
of Virginia City,

and you know that little old
strip of land down there,

kind of the creek-bottom place?

Yeah, I've been there
a couple of times.

Yeah. I just saw
Mr. Jefferson from the bank

and that Smiling Sam out there
driving stakes in the ground

and marking off lots.
Oh, yeah, well,

those land promoters are gonna
buy about 750 acres from them.

They're gonna divide them up
into building lots.

For who, fish?

Pa, have you ever seen
that land in the springtime?

No, it's always nice and green
in the summer.

Well, it ought to be
nice and green in the summer--

It's under six foot of water
in the spring.

What?
Yeah.

Smiling Sam
and his reform ticket!

And he's gonna put every crook
in Virginia City in jail!

Well, we better find
Axe and Morgan in a hurry.

I still got them strays
to round up, Pa.

You come along with me-- these
human strays are more important.

♪♪

You mean, th-they left
early this morning?

Bright and early.

I, um, I believe
they'll be back in about a week.

I think I overheard them say
something about... Reno. Re...

Now, look, Clementine,

when they return, warn them
they must buy no property

until they've had a chance
to talk to me.

I shall tell the gentlemen
that very thing.

Thank you very much...
Meanwhile,

why don't you
and your son sit down,

and I'll get the tea things.

No, Clementine,
uh, Hoss and I...

It will only take half a mo.
We really don't have any...

Now, Benjamin, do sit down.

Wha... What?

Let me help you with that,
Clementine.

Oh, thank you so much, Benjamin.

Uh, Clementine, I-I've
got to explain something.

That loud crash that you heard,
now, Hoss here..

Yes, I know, everyone
wants to try the weights.

That's the third table
I've lost this month.

Well, of course,
I'll replace the table for you.

Now, here's
a little dainty for Hoss.

I don't suppose your
celestial chef Hop Sing

makes anything like that.

No, ma'am, he-he sure don't.

I could never understand
about Chinese cookery.

Sautéed kumquats

and hummingbird's tongues
under glass.

Hey, Clementine, this...
this bauble, that wasn't here

the last time
I was here, was it?

Bauble, indeed!

You are referring
to the Burma Rarity.

Burma Rarity?

Yes. Your charming friends,
Mr. Axe and Mr. Morgan

sold it to me for $25,000.

'Course, I had
to mortgage the house

to make up
the rest of the money.

But it's a good buy,

and Mr. Nagel, the jeweler,
estimates its value

to be... $50,000.

Mr. Axe and Mr. Morgan
sold you this for $25,000.

They did.

They... they took
a $25,000 loss.

They did.

And went to Reno.

They did.
Clementine...

I'm sorry to have put you
to all this trouble, but...

But you haven't
even tasted your cake.

Clementine, perhaps some
other time. Hoss and I...

Are you sure?
And I'm sorry about the table.

But there are many things
that we-we really should do.

You come back again, Hoss.
Thank you, ma'am.

And you, too, ducky!

.Pa?
What?

Did she say "ducky"?

Come on, I got
to send a telegram.

To who?
Judge Sylvester!

She did say "ducky."

"They fleeced me of $25,000.

"Stop. Pretended to sell me
a genuine emerald,

"but during the transaction,
switched an imitation

"for the real gem. Stop.

"Catch the crooks. Stop.

"See that they're hanged. Stop.

"Immediately. Stop.

Best regards,
Dean Benton Sylvester."

And in his letter,
Judge Sylvester said

that Axe and Morgan were
honest as the day is long.

Well, the days are getting
shorter all the time.

Well, obviously, Axe and Morgan
forged that letter.

Eh... poor Widow Hawkins.

Mortgaged her place
just to buy that fake emerald.

Boys, I, uh,
I feel morally responsible

for what's happened to...
to Clementine Hawkins.

I-I sponsored the crooks,
I introduced them to her.

And, this is as much
my problem as it is hers.

Now look, news of this must
not get out to Virginia City.

Why stall
about her being swindled?

They'll find out
about it sooner or later anyway.

Yeah, first let's find
the crooks

and get the money back
for Clementine.

Now Adam, you stay here
and take care of things,

Hoss, Little Joe,
you come with me.

Right, Pa.

Hey, Pa, Pa.

What?
Wait a minute, listen.

That telegraph fellow told me
that the Widow Hawkins

has sent a telegram
to an insurance man

to come out
and appraise that gem.

What? Yeah, he's gonna be here
at 8:00 on the stage.

I forgot all...
8:00?

It'll be 8:00 by the time
we can get to Virginia City.

Looks like we got here too late.

What are we gonna do now?

I don't know,

but I can't let
that insurance man

get a look
at that hunk of glass.

You stay here.

Well, he seems to be doing
all right so far.

I sure hope he doesn't try
to kick it under the table.

Yeah.

Dad-burn it.

Oh, I knew it.

Look, Joe,
it's up to me and you.

We got to get that fake emerald.

You shoot the light out,

and I'll jump
through the window and grab it.

Right.

Now.

Come on!

Get out of here.

Benjamin,
go after them, Benjamin.

Shoot them, shoot them,
Benjamin.

Yeah, oh, yes, yes, yes,
I'll shoot them.

The emerald,
they got the emerald!

I... They-they got clean away,
Clementine.

He left his hat.

Madam, I would suggest that you
take this hat to the sheriff.

It's a clue
to the thief's identity.

Oh, th-this is my hat.

Well, I still think you should
report this to the sheriff.

I-I think so too, yes.

Um, when you recover
the gem, madam,

if you will write to me,

I will return
and make another appraisal.

From what little I saw of it,
it is a superb emerald.

Well worth the $25,000
you paid for it.

You mean that was
a genuine emerald?

Oh, I'd stake my professional
reputation on that, sir.

I bid you good night.

Ducky,

did you perhaps think
it was an imitation?

Now, um,

this hat that you claim
is yours.

Bend down.

Bend down, Ducky.

I think we should sit down,
the both of us,

and have a nice cozy chat.

You just wait till I get
my hands on those two.

You just wait.

How did the widow take the news?

How'd the widow take the news?

Well, when she
discovered that...

that those brothers
of yours stole that emerald,

she gave me an ultimatum.

Which is?

She that said she would never

turn her relatives over
to a sheriff.

Do you mean
what I think you mean?

She said that the whole incident
would be forgotten

if I...

if I marry her.

She even had the gall to suggest

she come over here
to the house tomorrow

and rearrange the furniture.

Coo...

Coo?

I'm going after
those two brothers of yours

and you stick right here.

Uh, Pa, I was wondering.

Um...

Well,
where do you think Clementine

will want the bar bells?

Over the fireplace,

or would Harry's tights
look better there?

Hey, good morning.

Oh! Dad-burn it.

This thing's been punching holes

in my back all night, Joe.

You see him, go get him.

Run and get him.

That's it; sic, Fido.

I knew I'd find a good purpose
for that thing.

Hey, hey.

Come on.

Come on, come on,
don't go back to sleep.

We got to get those crooks

before they get
too far ahead of us.

Dad-burn it, Joe.

I'm so hungry I could eat
a pack mule.

How come we didn't stop
by the ranch house

and pick up a sackful of grub
before we left?

Well, thanks a lot, pup.

Hey.

Hey, Joe, I smell grub cooking.

You smell grub?

You know, I think I do.

Yeah.

Hey.

Joe...

Hey, Hoss.

Come on,
we got some trading to do.

Look, chief,

you got 'um trust me.

I'm having a hard time getting
through to the chief.

Look, chief, chief,

big medicine
in piece of green glass.

It'll cure-cure warts
and dandruff.

Make your hair shiny.

Heap big totem for chief.

Here, here, Joe,

let me... let me try
some sign language.

Uh, look here, chief.

Am I to understand
that you gentlemen wish

to dispose of this bauble?

Yeah.

In exchange for food?

Well, that's what
we sort of had in mind, yeah.

Very well.

There's mutton stew in the pot.

Help yourselves.
Hot dog!

Thank you.

Perhaps on the next stage coach,

there will be
a tourist gullible enough

to take this piece
of glass off my hands

at a small profit.

Mr. Morgan, allow me.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Axe.

You know, when I think
of those two petty crooks

out there measuring lots and
pounding stakes into the ground,

it warms the cockles
of my heart.

Mine, too, Mr. Morgan.

They were such rank amateurs.

Imagine not being able
to tell the difference

between a cheap piece of glass
and a real emerald.

The Burma Rarity.

Ah, a beauty.

Ah, uh,
what's the matter, Mr. Axe?

Um, I don't know, Mr. Morgan,

but it seems
to have lost weight.

0h?

Oh, my.
Uh, one moment.

Mr. Morgan, this is a fake.

What?!

Oh, that is a fake.

Try this one.

Oh, a fake.

This one?

Yeah, yep, yep,
a fake.

That one?

Yeah, a fake.

Mr. Axe, I'm afraid we goofed.

We goofed, Mr. Morgan?

You goofed.
I goofed?

Yes, you were supposed
to pull the switch.

Now, now, who switched who?

Now. enough of this
soul-searching, Mr. Axe.

I suggest we return
to Virginia City

and try to recoup our property.

Posthaste.
Or faster.

We came for the real emerald.
Um...

Now, let's have it.

The, uh, did you gentlemen
say the, uh...

You came for the real emerald?

That's right.
That's right.

The one you sold
to the Widow Hawkins,

and then stole back from her.

Every time I think
about the way you two crooks

took that poor,
little widow woman,

it makes me mad enough
to bite a porcupine.

Oh, I'd sure like to see that.

Yeah?

Uh, Mr. Morgan,

uh, I believe
they have us dead to rights.

Uh, if you'll permit me, sir.

When I started
on my career of swindling,

Mother warned me
that retribution

would catch up with me some day.

Would that
I had taken her advice.

Come on, give me that.

That's the real one.

Yeah, you can tell
it's a real one

just by looking at it,
can't you?

Yeah, if we didn't have
to get this back to the widow

to save our pa's neck,

I'd-I'd skin you two alive.

Well, I sure wouldn't
like to see that.

Oh, uh, young gentlemen,

uh, would you mind
telling me, uh,

what you did with the, uh,
the imitation emerald

that we left with the widow?

We traded it for grub.

Would you mind saying to whom?

Yeah, a fella named
Chief Crazy Fox.

Chief Crazy Fox.
Chief Crazy Fox...

I believe he's
that noble redskin

that's also in our profession.

Yes, he runs
that concession stand

down there between here
and Virginia City.

Mr. Morgan, I suggest
that we renew our acquaintance

with that worthy.

Posthaste.
Or faster.

Right.

You saw the buckboard go by?

And the other two went by
early this morning?

Thank you very much, chief.

Heap cheap.

Hmm. Heap cheap.

How much do you want for this?

Me get 'um ten dollars.

For you, make 'um five.

How would you like to gamble
it for five dollars?

Gamble?

Poker or dice?

Aha! Neither one.

There's a new game
in the west, Mister,

it's called the shell game.

And it is played
very simply with...

one, two...

three little shells,

and one very small, little pea.

Now, the object of the game,
sir,

is to tell me under which shell

the pea lies.

Now, watch very closely,
because if you can tell me,

you win.

Hey!

Hmm.

Uh.

Hey. Here it is, Pa.

I'm certainly glad I caught up
with you two highwaymen.

Let's have a look at this thing.

Is this the emerald you stole
from Clementine Hawkins?

Oh, no. You know
that one was a fake.

This is the real thing.
We got the two crooks in Reno

and got it back from them.

Boys, the one you stole
was the real thing.

This is another one
of the imitations.

Huh?

Yeah.

Are, are you sure, Pa?

I'm positive.

Just a minute.

What did you do

with the one that you so
shrewdly stole from the widow?

The one which is a real
Burma Rarity?

Speak up!

We traded it for some grub.

For some grub?

Dag burn it, Pa,
we was starving.

Psst. Let's go.

Yeah. We'll get it back, Pa.

What?
Come on.

♪♪

Ha!

Now, uh, uh, you say
you gave it to this, uh, girl?

Yeah, which way did she go?

Yeah, it's imperative
that we find out.

Yeah.
Imperative?

Mmm. In times of stress,
such as this,

my memory sometimes fails me.

Yeah, I figured that.

Would a ten dollar bill
help you to remember?

It all comes back to me now.

She was on the stagecoach

bound for Virginia City.

Virginia-- that way?
Virginia City.

Let's go.

Ha! Yep!

Blonde.

But as to which way she went,

in times of stress,
such as this,

my memory sometimes fails me.

Would a ten dollar bill
help relieve the stress?

Virginia City.

Ha! Ha!

All right, Joe,
You take this street,

and you check
the registry at the hotel.

Right.
Hoss, take this street

as far as you can go.

If you find any girl that fits
the description,

you let me know immediately.
I'll be around here somewhere.

Yes, sir.
Go on. Get going.

Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.

You weren't
watching very closely.

It is such a lovely watch.

Is there something else...

No thanks.
...you'd care to wager?

Let, uh, somebody else
win the money.

Good afternoon, sir.

Would you care to wager
one small silver dollar

to prove that the hand is not
quicker than the eye?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact,
I think I would

like to wager that.

Very good, sir.

Now, watch the pea.

Under the shell.
Gentlemen,

watch the pea and watch
the shells.

Watch me move them quickly
about the table,

and tell me
where the pea is.

Uh...

under the little one.

I'm so sorry, sir.

Uh, that, that, uh, gem

that you're wearing
interests me.

Would you, uh,

you care to wager say,
five dollars against that?

As you like, sir.

Again, watch the pea
under the shell.

We move the shells around.

Now, under which shell
does the pea lie?

I'll say, uh,

under the middle one again.

Must be under the middle one.

Obviously you've played this
game before, sir,

because the pea is under
the middle shell.

Thank you.

Oh, you forgot
your five dollars.

OH, honey, you keep that.

But it's just a chunk of glass.

Well...

but such nice glass.

Pleasure to meet you again,
Mr. Cartwright.

Now, if you'll kindly hand over
the Burma Rarity.

Yeah, hurry up.

Well, you, you want...

I guess if you,

you want the Burma Rarity,
I guess I'll,

I'll just have to
give it to you!

Let him go, Hoss,
he's all mine.

Ain't you gonna help him?

Nope.

Here, this one's a fake.

Another fake, another,
and another.

They're all fakes.

Ah!

Now, this is the one
I examined the other day.

The genuine emerald.

And what a beauty it is.

Uh, Madame, uh, would it be
amiss if I presumed

to ask you a question?

Uh, could it have been possible
that--oh, no.

Uh, what Mr. Morgan
is trying to say, Madame,

is how could a sweet,
little old lady like you...

Old lady?!

Look here, you two crooks,
I knew you were crooks

from the very beginning.

Your modus operandi
gave you away.

You see, Mr. Morgan,
what did I tell you?

Yeah, but look at her, Mr. Axe,

who would've
ever suspected that...

Gentlemen, many years ago
when I was in the theater,

I was billed as a female
prestidigitator.

I knew you were planning
the switcheroo,

exchanging the real emerald
for the fake.

So I just...

Pulled the switcheroo first.

Mrs. Hawkins.
How do you do?

Well, sir, mighty glad
to see you back, mighty glad.

We've got the 1,500 lots staked
out for you.

And now, are you ready to
complete the deal?

Gentlemen, I'm afraid that
Mr. Morgan and I

must leave town again.

Leave town?

Where are you going this time?

I'm escorting them
to San Francisco, Mayor.

But we've gone to a lot of work,

preparing Sunny Acres
as a town site.

When will you get back to
Virginia City?

And take over Sunny Acres?

About 20 years.

Clementine,
you're an amazing woman.

Absolutely amazing.

Oh, Benjamin, how gallant.

And in front of
all these people.

I just knew, when we had
our little talk yesterday,

that you and I would
see eye to eye.

Now, Clementine...

we, uh, we did get the...

get the emerald
back for you, didn't we?

Yes, but I--

And, uh...

we did have some sort
of an agreement.

You mean...?

Mm-hmm.

Coo!

I won the war
and lost the peace.

Well, as we say in the theater:

There's always another booking
for a good act.

An amazing woman!