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Let me do your legs.
4
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,120
There we go.
5
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,040
Here...
6
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:37,040
For almost 51 years
I've washed this back.
7
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,200
That's good.
8
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,960
Do you want to stay
behind, I'm going?
9
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:39,040
Steam of Life
10
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:52,016
One thing I've noticed,
boys, about love -
11
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,216
and what women like,
that's massage.
12
00:03:55,240 --> 00:04:01,096
Neck, shoulders, legs and
buttocks, every day.
13
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:05,096
That's our love story
right there.
14
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:11,176
If I skip one part and
try and sneak off, -
15
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,176
she will say: "You
missed the legs."
16
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:19,096
Or if I think she's asleep,
no: "You missed the legs."
17
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:24,056
Women are very particular about
the spots they want massaged.
18
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:29,040
I think they call them G-spots,
or what do they call them?
19
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:49,216
That's him.
- Well, then.
20
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,216
They all look alike.
- Those babies.
21
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,136
He's smiling.
- Right.
22
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:01,216
So adorable.
- Looks like his father.
23
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:07,016
He's so small and weak, it's great
to care of someone so small -
24
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,200
and see him growing every day.
- That's right.
25
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:17,056
I'll always remember the moment they
lifted him to his mother's arms -
26
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,096
and I cut the
umbilical cord. . .
27
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:28,016
And I saw the baby, his
little hands and feet...
28
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:33,056
They're home now and I was
on paternity leave -
29
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,056
helping to take
care of the baby.
30
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:40,176
Now one dream has come true -
31
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:45,176
and maybe God will give us
a little princess later.
32
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,000
That's right.
33
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,200
It's nice to go to the sauna...
- Damn, are you going to the sauna?
34
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,216
You were supposed to eat first!
35
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:45,056
Come on now!
- I won't throw this on the stoves.
36
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,176
Fucking hell, you go to the sauna.
- What's the soup you made?
37
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,200
Cabbage soup!
38
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,096
Really insane stories, the
things I've told you -
39
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,136
things you can experience
in your childhood.
40
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:40,200
Things like hidden
family violence...
41
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:47,056
When you have a stepfather and you
feel like you're in the way...
42
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:52,096
I first realized this
when I started school.
43
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:56,056
We were at the cottage, he
took me to this big rock -
44
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,096
where the kids always play...
45
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:04,056
He told me that I'm not
Kuosmanen, I'm Putkonen.
46
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,200
I was seven then, I
didn't quite get it.
47
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000
I thought of him as my father.
48
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:19,216
If you think of it, nowadays
it would be unheard of...
49
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:24,216
When I got home from school,
I tried to avoid him -
50
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:30,016
and tried to look and see
if the despot is home.
51
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:37,136
You grow numb with it, always
being beaten, hit or strangled.
52
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:43,216
The most insane thing was to be
pushed down to the floor -
53
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:48,136
and a pillow was held
over my face.
54
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:53,136
And the hypocrisy, what
was shown to others...
55
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,136
All was well in the
artist family.
56
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:02,136
And the way it stopped for me...
57
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:07,096
I was drunk for the first time -
58
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:13,056
and came home, we had
this French balcony...
59
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,216
I grabbed the guy, he
was a head shorter -
60
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,096
and I was sporty and
well-built...
61
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:25,200
I had the upper hand, I might
have dropped him from there.
62
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,216
He was screaming for mercy
"Don't kill me! Help!".
63
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,000
And that was the end of it.
64
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,040
There's one more round here.
65
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:06,016
In '89, I had everything
I had always wanted.
66
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,056
I had a daughter, I
had a good job -
67
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,056
but the child had no mother.
68
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:19,216
I was a construction worker, and
my mother cared for my daughter.
69
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:24,096
She started staying over there,
I visited them often.
70
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:30,016
Then this person told me I can't come,
because the girl always cries after that.
71
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,176
Was your mother alone
or with someone?
72
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:38,056
My mother is married.
73
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:42,056
They adopted my daughter.
74
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,160
My daughter is also
my stepsister.
75
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:51,960
That's why I'm up here in the
North. I just get so sad there.
76
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,200
I didn't get info about her
schooling or anything, really, -
77
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,136
I had to threaten with lawyers.
78
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:05,016
We tried to negotiate, but they
accused and pressured me.
79
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:12,056
I lost it totally then. I've
always been a crackerjack.
80
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:19,016
I told them to draw up the papers, I
will sign them, whatever you want.
81
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,096
That's...
82
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,120
That's how we dealt with it.
83
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,200
Fuck, it still hurts.
84
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,960
More steam.
85
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:05,040
If only I could tell my
daughter, but I can't.
86
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,960
It's good that I can tell you.
87
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,056
Is it cold?
- Not warm yet.
88
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:57,120
The sun doesn't warm much.
Should have a black tub there.
89
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,040
You want a beer? - Sure.
90
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,200
It would be nice if she
came for a visit.
91
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:40,120
We could cry together. I'm
always crying alone.
92
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:47,120
Would be good for her to know. . .
- Yes, to know the reasons behind it.
93
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:47,136
In 1983, my life got
totally out of hand.
94
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,056
I lost my grasp of things.
95
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,200
I drank and got into crime.
96
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:58,096
In the summer of '84, I
committed a robbery -
97
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:02,136
and got one year for it.
98
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:08,136
I drank and drank,
that was my life.
99
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,056
I went into prison
that summer, -
100
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:17,200
and that started a spiral
that lasted until '93.
101
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:30,136
Once I was crossing
the street, -
102
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,176
I was high on drugs,
drunk or something, -
103
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:38,120
and I realized this is a part of
the plan that destroys me.
104
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:45,176
Then I got an 18-month
sentence. . . 103
105
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:50,136
I lived alone in my cell,
they do in Sweden.
106
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:58,016
In the corner, there was a
piece of metal sheet -
107
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,136
that served as a mirror there.
108
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,096
I remember looking into it -
109
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,136
and thinking that I'll kill
myself to end all this shit.
110
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:13,096
I had this lady friend who
visited me from Stockholm.
111
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:18,056
She came to the prison
in March and asked:
112
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,200
"Pertti, what happened to your eyes,
they're the eyes of a dead fish."
113
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:36,056
One prisoner tried to escape -
114
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:40,136
by splitting his gums
with a razor blade.
115
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:45,216
I had taken amphetamine one night
and just decided to escape.
116
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:53,016
I started working out, so
I broke into sweat -
117
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,136
and then called the guard:
"I've got stomach cramps."
118
00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:03,056
I took a razor blade and made
wounds into my mouth -
119
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,200
and let the blood run
into a cup -
120
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,216
and spread it all over the place
and lay down on the floor.
121
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:16,056
That's how they found
me, unconscious.
122
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:22,216
They hooked me up to an IV, I started
running towards the door.
123
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:29,176
The guards caught me, called the
police and handcuffed me.
124
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:36,040
The warden put me into solitary,
I was a danger to others.
125
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:49,200
In the solitary, I was permitted to
sit outside on my lunch hour.
126
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:55,096
It was a beautiful day, I
sat against a trash can.
127
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,176
I wore shorts, had a cup of
coffee and the sky was blue.
128
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:03,096
All of a sudden, I saw a blue
butterfly in the sky.
129
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:07,016
I thought it was beautiful, hoped
it would sit on my mug.
130
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,200
The mug was blue and had
painted grass and flowers.
131
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,056
It was like summer.
132
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,216
So the butterfly
landed on my mug.
133
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,200
I hoped it would open its
wings, and so it did.
134
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,016
And at that moment,
something happened.
135
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:28,176
Instantly, my broken
view of the world -
136
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:33,040
was totally cleared.
137
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:46,040
At the end of February 1991, I
got out of prison in Sweden.
138
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:53,096
When I walked into the
log temple, -
139
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,056
I had this insight that the woman who
sits next to me will be my wife.
140
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:01,136
And so this Anu Katia Johanna sat next
to me during the introduction.
141
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,096
I fell in love with
her woolly socks.
142
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:11,056
She curled her toes inside the
red-and-white striped socks.
143
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:15,120
I looked at her and my
heart went all weak.
144
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:24,016
Once I came back from a run and near
the course center I thought -
145
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,136
that if Anu is at the front
door, I will tell her this.
146
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:31,056
I went there, and she
opened the door!
147
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,120
I told her: "We will
be married."
148
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,056
When I was young, I
told my mother:
149
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:46,216
"I want a wife from Kainuu, she
is a brown-eyed nurse."
150
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:51,000
And my wife has brown
eyes and is a nurse.
151
00:19:56,120 --> 00:20:02,136
When Anu took the pregnancy test
and then she called the lab -
152
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:08,176
and she heard that the
hormone levels were up -
153
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:13,200
it was just such miracle!
That I would be a father!
154
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,120
After such a life!
155
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:32,016
This kind of basic life,
organized society -
156
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,200
this is the best I know.
157
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,136
I've always had empty pockets.
158
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,960
Now I have my family
and empty pockets.
159
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,200
I got married during the war -
160
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,056
and had two children
when I was on leave.
161
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:47,080
But then my wife got sick.
162
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:57,016
When she was still alive, if I
was away for a few hours -
163
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:02,136
I always worried if I would
find her dead or alive.
164
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:09,176
I couldn't always get the
boys to watch her.
165
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:15,136
My eldest son was there a
few times and asked me:
166
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,960
"How can you cope with this life
for so many years, Dad?"
167
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,200
But I just had to carry on, -
168
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:30,000
and you get the strength for
it as you go along.
169
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:40,200
It went on for five years
before she finally died.
170
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,960
Then I was alone.
171
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,056
I sat home alone on my bed -
172
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:55,056
and cooked whenever I wanted,
what little I wanted alone. . .
173
00:24:55,080 --> 00:25:01,056
Suddenly I had this hunger
for other people.
174
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:08,176
I said myself that something
has to change in my life.
175
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:13,136
My son came to visit and
said: "Listen, Dad."
176
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:21,136
"We have to do something, you
have to get out and about" -
177
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,216
"or else you will
go crazy."
178
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:32,056
After my son told me that,
I got my act together -
179
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,136
and went to the Veterans'
Christmas Party.
180
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:39,136
I found a nice-looking
person there, -
181
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:44,136
I thought she would be nice company
if only I would dare to ask.
182
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:49,016
I finally approached her -
183
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,056
and asked if I could one day
come for a cup of coffee.
184
00:25:52,080 --> 00:26:00,016
She said yes, and soon enough I went
there with a bunch of flowers.
185
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,216
That's how it started and
it still goes on -
186
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,096
hopefully for a long time.
187
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:11,096
We've had great companionship
and a good life.
188
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,176
She's a good person
and can cook -
189
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:20,016
and tells me how to do laundry
and helps me in everything.
190
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,216
I'm living the best
years of my life.
191
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,016
Well, her neighbors must
have been wondering -
192
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:31,056
when they saw another pair of
underpants on the washing line -
193
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,080
as she doesn't have a husband.
194
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,200
How long have you been together?
- For 18 years now.
195
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:45,160
Both getting older at the same time.
- Older and senile.
196
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:09,056
The police brought him here
one night in the spring.
197
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:16,136
They called and asked if there's
room for one more orphan.
198
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,016
I said there's always
room for one more.
199
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,120
That's how our
friendship started.
200
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,096
We went berry picking and
fishing with him.
201
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:36,216
At first, we should have picked
the berries for him.
202
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:43,056
At one point, there was a
bush full of blueberries -
203
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:50,056
so I took some branches and
told him to sit down -
204
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:56,200
so that I could teach him
how to pick blueberries.
205
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,176
When we had caught fish -
206
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,096
we had to negotiate how
to share the catch.
207
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:13,120
He was going to take all
fish. I wouldn't let him.
208
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:20,960
"I will take these and
you will take those."
209
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:27,200
Breaking things is
important to him.
210
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,960
If you give him a car tire, he
will tear it apart in a second.
211
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:45,056
One Saturday, we went
to the sauna.
212
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:50,136
He stayed to eat out
in the barn.
213
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:55,016
We sat in the sauna
for a while...
214
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,136
The doors started banging -
215
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,216
and he barged in from
underneath the door -
216
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,200
and came to the benches.
217
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,040
I told him I will throw some water
on the stove to get some steam.
218
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:21,080
As soon as the steam hissed he
barged out underneath the door.
219
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:30,040
I told him: "No, no don't go yet, you
haven't broken into sweat yet."
220
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,960
But no, he went outside,
banging the doors.
221
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,016
Right, Juuso.
222
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:13,200
You were Only a boy when
we had our sauna.
223
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,096
A very little boy...
224
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,200
Left without washing, did you?
225
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,120
Yes, that's right.
226
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:37,176
The bear has become a
real friend to me.
227
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:43,016
It's an intelligent animal,
learns very fast.
228
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:48,040
And it is a true, loyal
friend indeed.
229
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:58,200
Right, another one gone. This
is the name of the game.
230
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,000
Juuso! It's broken now!
231
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,200
I keep going back to
early spring...
232
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,096
We still had snow.
233
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:05,200
There was a spring happening for
children on the lake ice.
234
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:12,136
I was playing with
my daughter, -
235
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:17,096
sledding down the hill,
eating grilled sausages.
236
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:22,160
She went on a pony ride. Think
what an experience for a child!
237
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,136
Every time I went to get her she
ran to me with her arms open:
238
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,176
"Daddy, I want to go home with
you! I miss you so much."
239
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:38,960
I have two cats, she says: "To
see Mikku and Okku at home!"
240
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,176
It's so wrong.
- Well, it tears you apart.
241
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:56,136
Think about it: You don't see your
child for example for 13 years!
242
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,080
How long has it been now?
243
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,040
Well, how long has it been...
244
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:08,216
I had just received the
Appellate Court order -
245
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:11,216
with all the visiting rights.
246
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:17,096
Not as extensive as
I had wanted..
247
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,056
As soon as the court
process was over -
248
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,200
and the decision was, like
9 times out of 10 -
249
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,216
that the custody was taken
from the father.
250
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:33,176
Every other weekend and one
weekday, that's it.
251
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,096
Nothing else mattered.
252
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:41,080
As soon as the process was over, the
mother refused to give the child.
253
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:48,136
We were visiting grandma for the
last time with the girl, -
254
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,216
we played together -
255
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:56,016
when my ex just announced that she
won't allow visitations anymore.
256
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:01,056
This is now September, I haven't
seen or heard of her.
257
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,960
I don't even know if they
live here any more.
258
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,000
The authorities can't do anything
without court orders.
259
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:20,040
I should go to court and get an order
forcing her to let me see the child.
260
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:29,056
And of course, family and
friends miss her also.
261
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:35,176
Her godfather, grandmother
and everyone else.
262
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:41,200
They keep asking about
her and crying...
263
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,056
Her grandmother is
getting old, -
264
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:50,216
she cried if she will
ever see Inka again.
265
00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:55,080
I told her I don't
know the answer.
266
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:06,120
I don't mind suffering, but
my girl is so young...
267
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,200
She's not yet three, -
268
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,176
she doesn't have
long-term memory yet.
269
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:19,160
I think my daughter doesn't remember
who her father is any more.
270
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:24,960
That really hurts.
271
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,216
If only I could hold her.
272
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:42,056
If she would run towards me
and jump into my arms.
273
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,120
"Let's go home and see
Okku and Mikka."
274
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:18,096
I remember my grandpa, when
I was a little boy.
275
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:25,136
I used to walk to their place
and he'd be chopping wood.
276
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:31,176
Grandma was inside,
cooking, doing chores.
277
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:38,216
When grandma was in a bad mood,
grandpa would stop us -
278
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:42,176
and ask us: "Is it still
stormy in the South?"
279
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:47,200
He meant: "Is your
grandmother still angry?"
280
00:39:52,160 --> 00:40:00,160
I asked grandpa how old the
oldest logs were in the shed.
281
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:05,040
He thought about it and
then said: "11 years."
282
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:11,056
Time passed. Grandpa
chopped wood -
283
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:16,000
and grandma was either in
a good or a bad mood.
284
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:25,200
Then grandpa got dementia and
had to go to a nursing home.
285
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:34,000
When we visited him, we
told him everyday news -
286
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:40,096
but he wasn't interested.
287
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:48,120
When we spent quiet time with
him, he would then ask -
288
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:55,056
where the end of the
wood pile was, -
289
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,960
had it reached the wall
on the river side?
290
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:09,080
After four years grandpa found out
that his woodpile was running low.
291
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,136
He cried and apologized -
292
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,120
for not having chopped
enough wood.
293
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,056
Afterwards, when I've
thought about it, -
294
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,136
I realized -
295
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,056
that he wanted to chop
enough wood -
296
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:37,080
to last until the end of
grandmother's life.
297
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,976
That's when I realized -
298
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,120
how manifold love can be.
299
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,120
Pete, the oars are squeaking.
300
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:12,160
I do love boats.
- That's right.
301
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:19,016
When the Frog went
a-courting Aha, Aha. . .
302
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,160
There's only one aha.
303
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,056
But where is he going?
- I'm going to Bulgaria.
304
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:32,136
What else will we take?
305
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:37,136
Sunscreen.
- Sunscreen, we have to take it.
306
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:41,200
If I forget it, what will
we do? I burn easily.
307
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,136
Then we put yogurt on your back.
308
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:49,056
What other clothes
shall we take?
309
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:52,200
The bikini.
- What bikini?
310
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:58,040
You know.
311
00:42:58,240 --> 00:43:02,136
The plane flies high up.
- In the sky.
312
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,080
Where's the sky?
313
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,176
It's getting cloudy.
314
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,000
What? - Getting cloudy.
315
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,960
You should be honest
with others.
316
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,016
Have you been the best friend?
317
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,096
I have been for a long time,
already as a child.
318
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:43,136
So have I.
- I've been honest to everyone.
319
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,176
I've never stolen anything.
You have to ask always.
320
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:53,096
You have to be honest.
321
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:58,120
My best friend. I'm
the best friend.
322
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:07,000
All's well and in balance.
- All's in order.
323
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:08,136
Interesting, this is somehow mild.
- Yes, mild.
324
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:12,200
It has a lot of soul.
Touch of leather.
325
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,216
Light as the touch of
a summer fairy.
326
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:20,216
The touch of a summer virgin.
327
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:24,080
Right after swimming in the sea.
328
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:37,136
I've been to all army saunas
there possibly are -
329
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:41,136
from a battalion sauna to a
one-man tent sauna, -
330
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:45,096
and in Afghanistan, in
a Swedish sauna -
331
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:50,200
which differs from a Stockholm sauna in
that the newspaper is 2 weeks late.
332
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:19,056
How have you recovered from
getting back from the tour?
333
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:24,056
I had to work a few weeks -
334
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:29,016
to get myself back into
the regiment books.
335
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,056
I tried to adapt to
being back home.
336
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:37,056
Some bad things happened to
me during that year away.
337
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:42,016
My mother died and my
relationship fell apart.
338
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:46,176
And you can't really process
those things out there, -
339
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:51,216
you have to concentrate
on the task at hand.
340
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:55,096
And you know, I work out a lot.
341
00:48:55,120 --> 00:49:01,000
I poured all that anxiety and
bad feelings into workouts.
342
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,216
What was it like when the Chaplain
brought the message?
343
00:49:07,240 --> 00:49:10,176
If I remember correctly, -
344
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:17,200
my then girlfriend just
called me on my mobile -
345
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:22,200
and told me to sit down,
she had bad news.
346
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,136
Well, that was that.
347
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:33,176
The Chief-of-Staff and the Chaplain
met me on the club house...
348
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:37,200
The Chief immediately
started arranging -
349
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,136
for me to be on the
next flight home -
350
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,176
so that I can go bury my mother.
351
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:53,200
Me and Jari Rankinen went to
the chapel to have a...
352
00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:01,096
Take a moment. - Yes.
353
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:08,040
We lit a candle and read a
passage from the Bible.
354
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:16,136
I could have hardened myself,
as I did before -
355
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:19,136
and claim that I didn't
feel anything.
356
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:25,016
But now that I actually felt something,
it was easier to bear it.
357
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:31,200
In a military organization, showing
softness and weakness -
358
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:38,136
is not necessarily a strength. You
can be soft and weak in private.
359
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:42,016
You can't show it there.
- No, you can't.
360
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:46,120
And Finnish men have
traditionally been very tough.
361
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:59,136
I haven't regretted joining the
army. It has saved me.
362
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:03,176
I can't say a bad word.
363
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:08,200
The man and the job belong
together, in this case.
364
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,016
Will your son continue
in your footsteps?
365
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:17,176
Well. . . I'm happy to say he listens
to Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin.
366
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:22,136
Last week he cut his long
hair, so no more moshing.
367
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:26,016
But the signs are good.
- Yes.
368
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:30,136
His own words, said with a smile:
"Join the army? Seriously!"
369
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,216
He has been watching
me and Jari -
370
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:38,136
and thought how
ridiculous it is.
371
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:42,056
But we do it with a big heart.
372
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:46,200
Whatever my son decides, if he
does it from his heart...
373
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,056
If he decides that he won't
do the military service -
374
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:54,160
and it comes from his heart, I
will totally stand by him.
375
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,080
Happy Independence Day.
376
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:43,016
When they ask children
to sing to Santa, -
377
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,120
then you feel like saying: "Let's
just get to the presents."
378
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:55,136
Today there was one family where
nobody wanted to sing.
379
00:52:55,160 --> 00:53:01,016
Then I wanted to hand out the presents,
but no, the lady didn't want that.
380
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:08,056
But you don't want to leave
after five minutes either.
381
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:15,040
You don't earn your money.
- All the homes had kids in there.
382
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:28,056
Have you noticed that
when Santa comes in, -
383
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:32,216
they ofter you the best chair
or a place on the sofa.
384
00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:36,200
But I have one family, I
won't mention names -
385
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:42,176
where Santa gets a servant's chair,
and it's halfway in the doorway.
386
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,096
A bit like taking some distance.
387
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:51,136
They're so far away I feel like
shouting or taking a mic.
388
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:58,016
Today I had a place where they
left me on the doorstep!
389
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:03,136
They cleared some space there,
but it really annoyed me -
390
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:07,200
I couldn't even get in, had
to shout from the door.
391
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:13,000
And usually Santa is
the guest of honor.
392
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:16,096
You know the Suzuki four-wheel drive?
- Yes, I know.
393
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:19,176
How many people does it seat?
394
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:23,136
Well, it takes in...
395
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,120
About a dozen people.
396
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:33,200
Well, we were 21 in there.
Driving in there.
397
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:38,200
Who drove it? How come?
- The owner.
398
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:45,136
It must have been a tight squeeze.
- You bet.
399
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:52,056
The only ones that
are still alive -
400
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:59,136
are me and the owner
of the car...
401
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:03,200
All the others have
kicked the bucket.
402
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:07,040
Like my wife last summer.
403
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,216
They first knocked on the
door before six a.m.
404
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:19,096
Then they rang the doorbell. I
said: "Leena, where are you?"
405
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,136
"Who's at the door now?" But
there was nobody there.
406
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:28,176
When I opened the door,
it was two policemen.
407
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:35,016
They asked if I was so and so, I said yes.
They had a message.
408
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:43,016
They said it was about my wife, or
that do you know so and so. . .
409
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,096
I said yes, she's my wife.
410
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:51,016
They said: "These are her
rings and belongings."
411
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:57,040
"Our divers have just found her,
she drowned in the sea."
412
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,176
She's in Hietaniemi,
at the cemetery.
413
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:15,200
She had a good funeral.
414
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:24,040
I have to take it one
day at a time.
415
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,040
She was everything to me.
416
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:52,200
I want to break a sweat.
417
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:09,200
OK, go ahead.
418
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:15,120
Are you going to barbecue me?
- That's what I planned.
419
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,160
So where to now?
420
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:34,960
Downtown?
421
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:44,056
I've been on the Esplanade,
50 cents for a flat.
422
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:49,096
Oh yes. It has all the
modern conveniences.
423
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:53,216
No, I have a sleeping bag.
- I see.
424
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:58,056
But how do you fit in there?
- Into the toilet?
425
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:02,016
It's not that big.
- The big one.
426
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:06,016
I see, the big one.
- It costs 50 cents per night.
427
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:10,016
Per day. So you
recommend?
428
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:13,160
Indoor plumbing and everything.
429
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:37,136
So you decided to come here?
- It was in the early 90's.
430
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:41,080
Matti asked me to come
and pan for gold.
431
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:47,160
I had no ties in the South,
so I stayed here.
432
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:55,040
I had nothing to go
back to there.
433
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:02,040
Bit like me, the same thing.
- Yes, that's right.
434
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:06,040
A bit similar, yes.
435
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,040
And it's good up here.
436
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:21,200
It's about two years ago when
I met my present wife.
437
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:28,216
And it's been going well.
- My age protects me from that.
438
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:34,176
Yes, your age helps,
protects you from women.
439
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:39,040
Well, not too much.
- I see.
440
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:43,040
They come and hug me.
441
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:58,120
One time at a work trip,
something bad happened.
442
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:09,080
They didn't warn us about men
working on the tracks.
443
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:17,000
We were taking a plaster train
to 'c4k'e4slompolo.
444
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:24,160
To the cement factory.
- I see.
445
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:34,096
There was this guy, standing
on a small bridge.
446
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:37,096
He was waving a red flag!
447
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:41,096
I acknowledged it and braked
as hard as I could.
448
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:45,080
He started running in
front of the train.
449
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,960
Splash, splash.
450
01:02:54,200 --> 01:03:00,136
He didn't get out in time?
- No. He tried to save his friend.
451
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,200
I see.
452
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:10,096
I still have nightmares
about it.
453
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:16,120
It was only about 10 cars away.
The boys were under the cars.
454
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:24,080
But their death was...
- Instantaneous.
455
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:32,080
No suffering, not lying in
the hospital for long.
456
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:45,040
Later, I met one's sister and
the other one's wife...
457
01:03:55,240 --> 01:04:00,000
Shouldn't have said
anything about this.
458
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,120
Sometimes it's good to talk.
459
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,216
I don't know if you noticed, -
460
01:05:48,240 --> 01:05:52,176
but for years, it was hard to see
other families with twins.
461
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:56,120
Yes, I noticed, we didn't
have much contact then.
462
01:05:57,160 --> 01:06:00,040
Understandable, in a way.
463
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:07,120
You can't wish this
on anyone else.
464
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:12,040
That one of the twins is dead.
465
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:19,120
When I saw other twin families,
I became so jealous.
466
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:26,176
And I couldn't accept my own
feelings. That was very hard.
467
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:33,960
And even today, I don't want to
look at baby twins in prams.
468
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:40,040
But it has changed with time.
469
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:49,040
It's a bit corny, two years
and two months...
470
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:54,160
I'm not a superstitious person -
471
01:06:55,040 --> 01:07:00,216
but I keep thinking that
Iida was a twin, -
472
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:04,176
and we got our second child
on our second try -
473
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:08,080
as there was a
miscarriage first...
474
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:14,960
And then the second child dies when
she's 2 years and 2 months.
475
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:20,000
Feels like the figure 2 is all
used up in our family.
476
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:41,976
I had just commented the
previous night -
477
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,136
that we are given as
much as we can take.
478
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,160
And boy did we get some.
479
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,136
That was a normal Thursday, -
480
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:53,960
I had a coffee meeting for
entrepreneurs in the morning.
481
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:59,000
I left, Minna and the kids woke
up, it was summer holiday.
482
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:03,000
The meeting took a few hours.
483
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:07,200
I went out to my car -
484
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,216
and listened to my messages.
485
01:08:10,240 --> 01:08:12,176
I was a bit surprised -
486
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:16,080
at how many messages I had.
487
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:21,000
It was the third message...
488
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:24,160
A woman's voice said:
489
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:28,056
"It's the answering
service."
490
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,200
"Shall we leave
a message?"
491
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,136
Another woman
says: "Yes."
492
01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:36,000
A woman is crying in
the background.
493
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:38,976
The message said then:
494
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:43,080
"Please call the
health center."
495
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:54,040
My first thought was:
496
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:57,056
"Now it's happening."
497
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,136
A strange relief...
498
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:02,120
I don't have to be
afraid any more.
499
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:09,120
I called the number.
500
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:13,056
I told who I am, -
501
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,136
and they put the call through.
502
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:18,080
And Minna answered.
503
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,216
Then I knew Minna is OK.
504
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:25,080
I asked which one
or all of them.
505
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:29,040
Minna said it was Iida.
506
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,200
She told me what happened.
507
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,200
I started the car, my
hands were shaking.
508
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:41,016
I thought I'll never get there.
509
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:44,216
During that drive, I only
had three thoughts.
510
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,136
That she's there, happy
and smiling, -
511
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:49,120
thinking how she scared us.
512
01:09:50,040 --> 01:09:51,176
The second one was -
513
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:53,160
that she was a vegetable.
514
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:56,160
I realized that if you
don't breathe, -
515
01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:59,160
the brain damage is immediate.
516
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:04,960
And the third one
was: she's dead.
517
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:08,136
The mood went from happy to sad.
518
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:10,160
And then I just screamed.
519
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:15,056
I got to the health care center.
520
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:17,216
Minna is walking towards me.
521
01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:21,080
She says that Iida is dead.
522
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:29,096
There was bench -
523
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:32,120
and we sat down and cried.
524
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:38,000
Minna asked if I wanted
to see Iida.
525
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:41,056
Afterwards I realized -
526
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:45,000
I didn't want it at that moment.
527
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:51,040
When we go inside and
get to Iida...
528
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:56,056
It's strange, a dead child...
529
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:59,040
Does not look like
herself at all.
530
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:03,040
I felt like...
531
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:05,216
That when the soul has left -
532
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:09,056
the body looks different.
533
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,960
She didn't look like Iida.
534
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:21,200
Then they told us after a while
that we should go home -
535
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:27,000
and the child should be
taken to the morgue.
536
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:29,216
We walked her there.
537
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:33,200
There were piles of laundry
along the corridors.
538
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:39,056
There was a little lounge
and we left Iida there.
539
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:42,016
I couldn't bear watching it.
540
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:47,056
That they will put the child
into a dark, cold room.
541
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:49,216
An unbearable thought.
542
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:57,160
We went to see Iida a few times
at the health center morgue -
543
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:02,040
before she was taken to
Tampere for autopsy.
544
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:04,216
I could never go in there, -
545
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:10,056
I had to ask the staff
to take Iida out.
546
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:15,200
The thought of darkness and
cold was just unbearable.
547
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,200
She always liked warmth.
548
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:46,216
I always thought that life is ruled
with rationale and theories -
549
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:51,016
and intellect and head. I've been
a real robot, machine head.
550
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,160
Then you lose your child, and
there is no reason, -
551
01:12:55,000 --> 01:13:01,040
it's all pure emotion. How can you
deal with that rationally?
552
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:05,136
Very contradictory emotions, -
553
01:13:05,160 --> 01:13:12,200
like when Minna, Roosa and Essi
were there and Iida died.
554
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:17,040
That raises mixed emotions.
555
01:13:17,240 --> 01:13:20,176
I was angry at myself for
not being there, -
556
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:24,136
a man should protect his family.
557
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:28,056
I let down my family.
558
01:13:28,080 --> 01:13:33,096
On the other hand, I was jealous
to Minna for being there.
559
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:37,136
I've talked to other fathers
whose children have died -
560
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:44,960
about what we have learned as
children about coping with this.
561
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:50,200
What are the options for boys?
562
01:13:51,080 --> 01:13:55,040
Being silent and drinking.
"Boys don't cry."
563
01:13:57,080 --> 01:14:01,056
When you think of the situation,
it's no wonder -
564
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:05,216
that you don't know how to act when
you're next to your dead child.
565
01:14:05,240 --> 01:14:10,160
You try to look for a norm
that isn't there.
566
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:14,120
Later, you realize. . .
567
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:21,120
I was just looking for a way to act,
a way to continue my life.
568
01:14:22,080 --> 01:14:27,096
I had this surreal thought that if I'm
ever in this situation again -
569
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:32,000
I would want to scream. Just
scream everything out.
570
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:40,160
When I was younger, I thought you
should manage everything alone.
571
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,216
I don't need help, I
don't need sympathy.
572
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:50,096
I'm fed up with it, I don't
want to be alone.
573
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:53,120
I want to share things.
574
01:14:56,000 --> 01:15:01,960
Only now I understood that
solitude is the worst thing.
575
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:10,160
Only knowing you are not alone
is an incredible relief.
576
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:28,120
Sweetly the squirrel baby
Sleeps on her mossy bed
577
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:37,000
Never reached by hounds
Nor snared by hunters
578
01:15:37,120 --> 01:15:43,960
Safe in her nest
579
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:55,120
From her cocoon high up
She looks upon the world
580
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:06,160
After seeing so many fights
The peace flag of her home tree
581
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:15,040
Is flying over her head
582
01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:35,200
Oh to live happily In the
swinging cradle up so high
583
01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:46,120
Squirrel nesting forever In
the gentle arms of the tree
584
01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:54,080
Hear the song of the woods
585
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:26,160
That's where the furry cutie
Is sleeping on her window
586
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:36,240
Birds on the skies
Are singing lullabies
587
01:17:41,080 --> 01:17:45,960
Taking her to The
sweet land of dreams
588
01:17:53,160 --> 01:17:58,080
This film is dedicated
to Finnish men
589
01:19:55,200 --> 01:19:58,120
English Subtitles: Tiina
Kinnunen / Media Context
46083
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