All language subtitles for The Dukes of Hazzard S04E24 Miss Tri-Counties_track3_[eng]

[Waylon Jennings singing
"Good Ol' Boys"]

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain
might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just
a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like
a true modern day Robin Hood ♪♪

'Yee-haw!'

Now, the General ain't racing
and he ain't chasing

but he's sure burning rubber

trying to get to the biggest
cultural event in Hazzard.

The finals of the first
Annual Tri-County

Beauty, Talent and Mechanicals Aptitude Contest.

And Daisy has entered...
if she can get there on time.

Uncle Jesse,
what time is it?

It's...just a little bit later
than it was when you asked me

about two minutes ago.
It is now 17 minutes after ten.

You got 13 more
minutes to get there.

Bo, do you think
we're gonna make it?

Come on, Daisy. Has the General
Lee ever let a lady down before?

What makes you so all-fired
sure I'm gonna win anyhow?

Daisy, look.
There's two reasons.

First of all, talent
here in these parts

doesn't mean twirlin' the baton
or, or pounding on the piano.

It means fixing
and racing cars.

Second of all, there ain't
no girl here in Hazzard County

or the other two counties

that can do either of those
things as good as you can.

Now, of course, old Luke don't know about the competition.

Miss Melanie Dubois and her
sponsor, Big Jim Mathers.

Now if you think
they're straight

I've, Tennessee meat property
that I'd like to sell to you.

Oh, well, well,
well and well.

As I live and breathe, it's Big
Jim Mathers of Hatchapee County.

Ain't seen you in a hound's age.

Oh, sure, sure we have.

- Just-just the other day--

I'd like to introduce y'all
to Miss Melanie Dubois.

Well, I sure am pleased
to meet you.

- I'm Rosco P. Coltrane.
- Alright, alright.

Her entry form.

You sure filled out your form,
didn't you, eh, lady.

You got a well
filled out form.

Here, just ring this thing up.

Oh, ring this up here.
Now just slip that in there.

That's it.

Alright. They're it is.

Oh, will you stop
punching that thing?

Now then. You are officially
entered in the competition.

Yeah.

Competition

Don't make me laugh.

Oh.

- Yeah.

- 10,000 in large bills.
- Yes.

And 10,000 reasons,
Hogg, to break every bone

in your little fat body,
if my Miss Melanie

don't win this competition.

There ain't no way
that she can lose.

The only one around here
that'll even be in the run

is the local gal, Daisy Duke.

And I fixed it so that
she can't even enter.

Well, you better have, Hogg.

'Cause, if you don't
keep that Duke gal

out of Miss Melanie's
hair, I will.

Big Jim means business.

He'd send his mama to prison if he had the chance

to gettin' them
license plates for free.

Dang. Where did
them things come from?

We've seen Cletus put them
up about half an hour ago

when we came through here.

There ain't no real
detour though.

That means we don't
have to take it.

- Hang on y'all.
- Oh!

Ha ha. One detour going by.

I'd like to have
my $2500 right now.

What $2500 may that be?

That's the 50%
of my 50% of your..

Uh-uh, uh-uh, you ain't
getting one thin dime.

- No siree, Bob.

Not yet, anyhow.

Because first, I need every
penny of this here little amount

to develop and build
my solar-powered still.

- Mm-hmm.

Are you kidding me?

There ain't no such thing
as no solar-powered still.

'Don't you know
what solar means?'

- 'Well...uh..'
- From the sun!

Don't you get it?
Them little solar cells.

- Oh, that. Them little pieces.
- Yeah.

Sunshine makes
moonshine makes the mood.

Ooh. I love that.
I love that.

- No ashes to haul.
- None to haul.

- Yeah. No smoke.
- No smoke.

So the revenuers could see
it or something like that.

Listen, I'll tell you something.
That is foolproof.

Yeah. You oughta know.
Ha ha ha.

Except for one little
itty-bitty detail.

We gotta make sure that Daisy
don't enter that beauty contest.

Gotta make sure Daisy Duke
don't enter that beauty contest.

Server to Command Post.
Server to Command, uh, uh, uh..

Cletus, this is
no time for yodelin'.

Get on with the report.

Uh, ooh.

Uh, General Lee.

What

What did he say?
What did he say?

General Lee just passed
Checkpoint Alpha.

It's bad news, bad news.

Uh, you see

they go right on through
those sawhorses we put up.

Now Cletus wants us to come out
there and get him off the hook.

Not till I get off
the hook with Big Jim.

But Boss, you're
not on a hook yet.

We can keep Daisy from signing
up for that beauty contest

as long as we can keep her
from passing Checkpoint Bravo.

I ain't waiting
for Checkpoint Bravo.

I'm gonna retreat
to my office right now.

Come on. Grab that clock
and let's go.

Come on, get it.
Come on. Hurry, come on.

'Come on.'

Uh...y'all wait here
while I find out

why that fat little rat
is desertin' the ship.

Breaker one, I might
be crazy but I ain't dumb.

Crazy Cooter coming
at you, Bo and Luke.

Lost Sheep coming back at you,
Cooter. What's on your mind?

Hey, Lost Sheep. J.D. Hogg's
on my mind as usual.

I wanna let y'all know he just
moved the time clock indoors.

Much obliged
for that information.

We'll head straight there
as soon as we get to town.

Alright, put that clock
down there on the desk.

And then shove something
against the door.

I don't want them Dukes busting
in here before the deadline.

Oh, this door is stuck.

Ooh, ooh. You got Jim.

I didn't know you
was there behind me.

Come on in. This is
my private office.

Put something against the door.
Come on. Will you work it?

You like this room?
We got it fixed up good.

- There.
- Move the chair!

That will do no good,
that silly thing.

Shove that chair! Come on.

- Shove it against the door.
- Shove it up against the door.

Alright. Now we're safe from
them Dukes comin' in here.

That's right.

Come on, Daisy.

One of these days, I'm gonna
take take me a saw

and fix them doors.

- Closed!
- Ah, dang it.

I got an idea.
Come on.

One minute till the deadline.

Oh, I got them Dukes
beat this time, Rosco.

Big Jim, ain't no way
Daisy Duke can get herself

into the Miss Tri-Counties
Contest now.

No way.

Uh!

'Oh. We're being invaded.'

Rosco, stop 'em.

Luke Duke! Bo Duke!
Daisy Duke.

'Alright, you Dukes,
freeze, freeze, freeze!'

You're arrested
for trespassing.

Oh, Rosco, you're too late.

You can't arrest us
'cause this is a county building

'and should be open to the
public during business hours.'

And in case you're forgetting,
we are the public.

But we'll be gone before
you can count to one.

Here's my form for the Miss
Tri-Counties Beauty Contest.

- Argh.
- 'Bye.'

There we go.

Later on, Boss.

Kinda dropped in, eh?

Seven seconds.

She beat the deadline by seven
piddly itty-bitty seconds.

We did it!

Once she was in the contest
right and proper

it didn't take Daisy too long
to meet the competition.

Well, you must be Daisy Duke.

Well, I sure am, sugar.
Who are you?

In a couple of days, you'll
be calling me Miss Tri-Counties.

Ain't you just jumping the gun
a little bit, sweetheart?

The contest ain't
even started yet.

I just wanted to give
Daisy a chance to quit

before I embarrass her
in front of all her friends.

She's a modest little cuss,
ain't she?

Yeah...or she knows
somethin' we don't.

Oh, doesn't matter
whatever it is.

We gotta go to Cooter's

so you can teach me
to build that carburetor.

Meantime, Boss and Big Jim
were havin'

a down-home
business discussion.

You welchin'
bucket of blubber!

Is this what you call
keepin' the Duke girl

out of the contest?

Well, this? Yeah, yeah. I mean,
no! No, no. I don't mean..

I don't know what I mean!

I've got a good mind
to take back my money

and do things my way.

Don't do that, Big Jim.
Leave the money with me.

Everything will be alright.
Your lady friend's gonna win.

And as for doing
things your way..

Look, I don't want
nobody roughed up.

- Especially yourself.
- Yeah.

Which is just what's gonna
happen if Melanie don't win.

'You see, she won't
keep me happy'

if y'all don't keep her happy.

And if you make her unhappy
that makes me unhappy.

So, she better win.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

What was that?

If we made him happy,
he made me happy.

Oh, da-da-da,
would you stop all that.

- He's mean.
- Phew!

Oh my. I want a girl
to look at my solar power..

A few threats don't bother
old Boss none

but that model of
that solar-powered still

Old Boss can
already see himself

just revolutionizing
the whiskey business.

- Come on, Daisy.
- 'Alright. Lookin' good.'

- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah! Whoo!

That's the best time ever.
2 minutes and 54 seconds.

I'm telling you, I couldn't
have done that better myself.

I couldn't do
much better either.

If I win it's gonna
be because of y'all.

Oh, come on, Daisy.
What do you mean, if?

You're cinch to win the best
mechanic, you know that.

But if I know J.D.,
and I do know him

he'll do everything
in his power

to keepin' a Duke
from winnin' that contest.

You know, it just
doesn't make sense.

If I win, it's so much
publicity for the Boars Nest.

I bet he's saving
that prize money for Lulu.

I guess we gotta be ready
for every possibility.

Yeah.

'Listen, we got ourselves a
contest to run now.'

So, just simmer it all down.
Hold up. That's right.

Main announcement up here.

Folks, it's now my
privilege and pleasure

to introduce to you
our first finalist

sponsored by the Riverton County
Sheriff's Department

Deputy Lu-Ann Milsap

otherwise known
as Miss Riverton County.

Yeah.

Uh, now over here's
our second finalist

uh, sponsored by a distinguished
gentleman from out of town

who shall remain nameless,
Miss Melanie Dubois

otherwise known as
Miss Hatchapee County.

'No way.'

He he he.

And then, uh, over here,
folks, our third finalist, um

last but least, sponsored
by the Tri-Counties 4-H Club

J.D.

Oh, excuse me, a local lady

whose name slipped my mind
for the moment

Miss Hazzard County!

Alright, simmer down!
Simmer down!

Hold it. Hold it.

Alright, alright,
now here are all the rules.

Listen. This year the contest
is divided into three parts.

Beauty, driving
and mechanical ability.

And now we come
to the first part

in which we'll find out
which of these lovely ladies

is the best mechanic.

So, we've given each one of them

a disassembled carburetor

and the first one of these
lovely ladies to reassemble

this disassembled carburetor
with each and every part

put back right where
it goes in the first place

will be declared
the winner of this event.

Alright, ladies, there
are them little booths.

Now just step inside
and we'll get started.

But don't begin
till I give the signal.

Did you hear that J.D.?

I can tell it when he's
got somethin' up his sleeve

and he's got somethin'
up his sleeve..

It don't make no difference.

Daisy can take care
of herself just fine.

Alright, now. Get ready!

Get set! Go!

And just to show
everything's up an up

and they'll have no coachin'
from the sidelines

I'm gonna ask Cletus
to do his duty.

- Cletus, do it.
- You bet, Cousin Boss.

Boss.

- Listen, come here.

You sure that Daisy
can't see nothin' in there?

Not unless she's
half hoot owl.

Good.

Uh-uh-uh-uh!
No, no, no.

I'm done.

You told me, you had
everything under control!

Nobody welches
on Big Jim Mathers!

No. No.

Here!

Alright, alright!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Daisy Duke, you cheated!

Ain't no way
anybody could put

a carburetor like that
together again so fast..

...under the circumstances.

You mean, because the light
in my booth wasn't working, huh?

Oh, it wasn't?

Lucky, Luke showed me
how to do it blindfolded.

That's a fact.

Standard procedure
in the marines is to be able

to disassemble and reassemble
a carbine blindfold.

Well, carbines ain't
carburetors! Hey, everybody.

How do we know that Daisy Duke
put this thing together right?

Maybe she overlooked a couple
of itty bitty little pieces.

Oh, you mean like those two
jet valves that were missing?

You hear that? She admits
her carburetor ain't complete.

J.D., you dirty--

Oh, Uncle Jesse, please
don't start anything.

I didn't have as many parts as
the other girls had to assemble

and, well, I'd like
to forfeit first place.

You can't do that!
It's just what he wants!

Alright, boys. Boys, boys.

If that's the way Daisy feels,
that's the way it's gonna be.

If she wants to forfeit,
she'll forfeit.

Thank you.

J.D., she's gonna beat you in
other two categories.

You watch.

Since Daisy forfeited
the talent contest to Melanie

Old Boss ought to be
as happy as a mouse

trapped in a block of cheese.
But he ain't.

- Good news! Good news!
- Yes.

Hey, Boss, I've got somethin'
here that's gonna warm

the cockles of your
fat little heart.

Yeah?

Well, I'm gonna warm
your skinny britches

if you don't stop
interruptin' my exercisin'.

I've got very little time
to get in shape.

In shape

For runnin' away
from Big Jim Mathers.

Oh.

You know what he said
he'd do if Melanie

don't win that race tomorrow.

Are you kiddin' me?
I'll knock..

- I did!

- 'Yes!'

D'oh-ho-ho.

Listen, Boss..

Faster! Faster.

Listen, I wanna take
this walk by myself.

Get off this thing,
will you?

Listen, Boss, it doesn't really
make no difference anyway

because Big Jim's girlfriend
is gonna win that race.

This paper guarantees it.

Yeah. Only if you take it and
blindfold Daisy Duke with it.

Well, ain't nobody
gonna be able to beat her

when she's drivin' that orange
crunked car of her cousins.

Listen, Boss, please read this
paper from the State Capitol.

Yeah, I gotta better idea.
I'm gonna take this paper..

Oh.

- Department of Motor Vehicles.
- Yeah.

A list of 14 expired driving
licenses in Hazzard County.

And one of those license
is Daisy Dukes'.

That mean she can't
enter the race.

Can't do too. I love it.

Matter of fact, she ain't got
any rights to drivin' at all.

Ha ha ha!

Hallelujah!

Listen, you get right out
there and you run her in.

- I'll do it. I'll do it.
- Oh my.

This is
really something.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, wait a minute.
What am I runnin' like this for?

I don't have to
get in shape now.

Oh my.

- Take the turn real real wide.
- Yeah.

Then you snake on down in the
center just like an old bull

comin' out of a rodeo chute.

Okay. You wanna pull over
and let me try it?

You already know how
to do it better than him.

'Well, there's Rosco.'

'What?'

He's sellin'.

Whatever it it, we ain't got
time to buy. Come on, let's go.

Now, here comes trouble.

Boss' county road
maintenance water truck

watering down dirt roads
on our little country.

Sometimes old Boss
just can't miss.

If he don't get 'em one way
he'll get 'em another.

Whoa-ho!

We better make sure
Rosco ain't drowned.

Rosco!

I love this. I love this.

You need some help?

If I do need help, it ain't from
no Duke, I'll tell you that.

Course, Flash,
ain't so particular.

- Well, now, you doin alright.
- We just gonna take off then.

No, you're not.

Just freeze it right there
and just stay froze

until I give Daisy a ticket
for driving

with an invalid license.

What are you talking about,
Roscoe?

This license is just fine.

Sure, it lists up.

Well, that and it expired
last week.

Oh, I love it.
It's music to my ears.

Your ears are playing a wrong
tune 'cause Luke drivin' it.

- She couldn't break the law.
- It don't make no difference.

I can keep her from driving
in a Miss Tri-County race.

That's exactly,
what I'm gonna do.

Y'all just move it on out
of here before I arrest you.

- Roscoe!
- Thanks a lot.

Get going.

'How about that?'

Oh, I know that.

Her name must be lady luck.

And you're ridin'
shotgun with me.

Somethin' tells me that this
ain't going to be too easy.

- We got whole day.
- I wish--

Oh, shoot, you got this thing
licked you know that, Daisy?

Good girl.

Oh ho, Boss is there.

Daisy.

Boss.

What are you doin in here?

The regular DMV examiner
took it into his head

just half an hour ago to take
his full weeks vacation

up north,
all expenses paid.

So according to local law I've
been appointed his substitute.

Doesn't matter,
I can pass the test

no matter who gives it to me.
When you wanna start, Boss?

I'm still boning
up on this here job

and I don't think I'll be
ready to give my first test

until this time tomorrow
morning.

But the Miss Tri-County's race
starts this afternoon.

Oh, well ain't that
a frustrating turn of events.

Boss, we ain't gonna take
this laying down.

Well, the way is not lost.

I mean, they're gonna be lots
of DMV examiners

all over this state, who'd be
happy to give Daisy her test.

Too bad, they just don't happen
to be in Hazzard County.

Come on, y'all.
Let's get moving.

- We're wasting our time here.
- I'll say!

Bye.

- Just exactly what Boss said.

We're gonna find an examiner
who'll conduct your test.

- We'll go to Chickasaw County.
- I don't know about that.

Y'all be breaking your
probation.

Come on, Daisy.
If we don't do that, the kids

at the club won't
get the $500 you promised them.

We've beat Sheriff Little before
we could do it again.

- That's right.
- Okay.

I better read,
I might have to give it.

Listen, Boss. This is something
been bothering me.

I was just wondering,
if you really don't want

Daisy Duke to win the race.

How come you told 'em how she
could get her license renewed?

Because I'm givin' them Dukes
a double whammy.

Oh, how?

You know, what the closest DMV
testin' office is to Hazzard?

It's over in Chickasaw,
ain't it?

And Bo and Luke Duke are gonna
have to break their probation

just gettin' there.

Hello, Mabel.
This is J.D. Hogg.

- Say hello from Roscoe.
- I will not.

Listen, get me Sheriff Little
over Chickasaw County.

Sheriff Little,
are you kidding?

You can't trust a man like that
he's too honest.

Oh no, I can trust him.

I mean, because
he's gotta pay me back.

For many things
I've done for him.

Whether I can trust him or not.

I bet once he's nailed
Bo and Luke Duke.

He'll be happy to detain
Daisy Duke as material witness.

- So after that race is over.
- That's good.

A couple of hours later
Daisy and the boys

was deep in the heart
of Chickasaw.

And up to their hub-caps
in trouble.

DMV is about ten minutes away.

Daisy, how long do you suppose
that test gonna take you?

Give me a half
hour door to door

just to be on a safe side.

'Half an hour door to door
is cutting it too close.'

Don't worry we get you back
in time for the race.

Provided we don't get into any
trouble before that.

It's just been going to smooth
to suit me.

I should have thought of it.

Boss wouldn't tell us about
the other DMV examiners

unless there's some sort
of catch to it.

Oh, look!
There's your catch.

Boss must've called him
before we got out of Hazzard.

I'll tell you what, I ain't
pullin' over for no Sheriff.

Bo and Luke Duke.
This here is Sheriff Little.

Slow down and pull over.

Slow down and pull over.

We'll be able to lose him

for a couple of minutes
at a time.

That'll be enough!

Look, all you got to do
is drop her off.

Drop Daisy off at the DMV
and then give her

enough time to stay ahead
of Sheriff Little

until she done with her
drivers test. Right.

What happens after I get
my license done?

You just wait down
on the street

we'll fly on by
and you jump in.

We'll take you back
to Hazzard.

- We got it.
- Alright.

Provided he don't
catch us first.

Come on, y'all.

The boys kept circling the town with Sheriff Little

getting closer, ain't matter.

While Daisy was taking her
DMV test.

Now, I don't see how
that's going to work.

Besides, it looks like
old Sheriff Little

is taking the driving test.

Let's cover the right eye
and read the third line.

C-B-D-E-F.

And here's
your temporary license.

Thank you.

Now, folks, listen here.

The reason this beer's
on the house

is so we can all drink a toast
to the next Miss Tri-County.

Don't worry, darling. It gotta
him in my hip-pocket.

You better have.

You mess this one up
and I'm leaving.

Next Miss Tri-County.

We reckon Daisy Duke will have
something to say about that.

Well, that's true. Provided
she's here to say it.

I wonder
where they are.

Look at that,
we better give 'em a call.

'He's still with us.'

As long as he can't arrest us
we'll be alright.

'Lost sheep and Bo Peep,
this is shepard, come back.'

Lost sheep and Bo peep,
this is shepard, come back.

Lost sheep here, uncle Jesse.

Were in thunderation are you?

We're about ten miles North
of Chickasaw City.

North? Why in tarnation do
you headin away from Hazzard?

We can hardly help that.

We got Sheriff Little
hot on our tail.

We're gonna crash.

- Hit the brakes.
- It's too late.

Shoot, to the Dukes that's
about like taking grandma

for a sunday drive.

I don't believe it.

Y'all listen if you ever drive through Chickasaw

don't ever make him mad.

This shepard to lost sheep,
are you alright?

- Yeah, we're alright.
- And so is Sheriff Little.

Good, I'll be waiting.
Shepard, over and out.

First road we come to,
we head back to Hazzard.

People say, where did you get
all the grey hair, Mr. Duke?

Cooter needed to take care
of little business in town.

Like billing the County for
fixin' old Roscoe's

patrol car about
a dozen times a month.

In fact, if the Dukes quit
driving

old Cooter would have to go
back to the chicken farm.

Big Jim's bodyguard was taking advantage of old Boss

not being around.

To make sure Melanie
would win the race.

According to this a one quarter
poise will agree.

Big Jim wants you to wait there
and take out anybody

that's ahead of Melanie.

I'll be at the three quarter
point down here.

If the Duke girl ain't out
off the race by then..

...I'll take her out.

What was really amazing is
Cooter understood him.

Breaker breaker!
Bo Peep, Lost Sheep.

Y'all home in Hazard..

Ol' Cooter figured
on warnin' Daisy

and the boys over the C.B..

But they was on the other side of Iron Mountain by then.

Couldn't hear him callin'.

In fact, you can't even
think straight

sittin' on Iron Mountain.

So old Cooter took off
for the startin' line.

Now, since Daisy forfeited
the carburetor contest..

...well, she's gotta
win the drivin'.

And she can't do that,
if she ain't here.

You know, I just hate it

when things are
stacked up against Daisy.

Listen, Boss, don't them
vehicles look beautiful?

'Shiny, all ready for the race.'

And not a General Lee
in sight.

Which means that Big Jim
and his lady friend's gotta win.

Oh, she's gotta win!

Meaning I'm off the hook,
in the clover.

Right in the clover.

Which means that I can almost
hear that luchaswirlin'

through my solar powered
still this very minute.

I wouldn't be too sure of that,
Boss. Look there.

- 'Oh! Oh! Oh!'
- It's the Duke.

Little was supposed to have
them in slammer by now.

I gotta do somethin' fast.

Alright, you two cars

get this to start
when I say "three."

- One!

- You can't start this race yet.
- Two!

- Now, don't worry about it.
- But Daisy ain't ready!

I ain't waitin'!
Three!

Go! Go! Go!

Yee-hoo!

Listen to me. Whoa.
We got trouble, man.

Big Jim's boy's are staked up
alongside that road

to make sure nobody wins
that race, but his gal.

- Specially Daisy.

Don't know. I know one's
at Willow Creek

other ones'
at Cherokee Bluffs.

- Don't like the sound of that.
- Me neither.

We can't reach
Willow Creek before them.

I do know a shortcut
to Cherokee Bluffs.

- So come on.
- Alright.

- 'Sure.'

Perhaps you're wonderin'
why the boys didn't try

to call Daisy on the C.B..

That things don't work,
if they ain't turned on.

Come on, General!

Now, ain't that
just like a woman?

Checkin' her hair first.

Come on, General!

And y'all gotta remember, there's two races cookin' here.

Daisy and Melanie..

...and the Duke boys
after Big Jim's trigger man.

Look down there.

Got him.

Ah! Eee!

We got him.
What to do with him now?

Just you watch.

Ah-h!

Well, he don't look like
he's hurtin' too bad.

Y'all remember that
the contest ain't over yet.

Daisy and Melanie
have each won one event.

And next,
comes the beauty part.

The one I've been
awaitin' for.

Thanks, but General Lee
did most of the work.

General Lee had to be driven
to get here in that time.

And nobody could've
done it better.

Bless you little heart!

You won!

Don't feel bad,
little fat buddy.

Daisy may have won the race,
but on the other hand

Big Jim's girlfriend,
now, she's a better mechanic.

So goin' in to
the beauty contest

I would say that
they're both dead even.

Yeah? Well, let me
tell you, I hate them all.

Well..

- Oh!
- Oh-ho! Oh-ho!

You ain't goin'
nowhere, Hogg.

And if Melanie doesn't win
the bathing suit contest

and become
Miss Tri Counties..

...I'm gonna take that
$10,000 outta your hide.

Next mornin', while Daisy
stayed behind

to finish makin' her bathing
suit for the final event

in the Miss Tri Counties'
competition..

...well, Jesse and the boys
went on ahead.

Just to make sure
Boss wouldn't pull

any last minute
dirty tricks on Daisy.

Looks to me like they may have to widen that window.

You gotta cut down on 'em
flapjack's in the mornin'.

- Come on, lady.

Now, somethin' told me
they should never have left.

- Take it easy, lady.

Uh-huh, hey!
Now, simmer down, lady.

We don't wanna hurt you.

Let's get her in the car.
Nice goin' Malone.

About now, Boss and Big Jim was gloatin' all over each other.

Disgusting!

Nothin'.

Went on the C.B. five minutes,
can't raise hide or hair.

I let phone ring
at the house for that long

and didn't get no answer.
She isn't there.

Maybe the jeep broke down
on the road?

Highly likely.
Jeep's in great shape.

- She could fix it.
- Yeah .

She ain't here
or at the house.

She ain't in between. I sure
wish I knew where Daisy was.

Oh, don't worry about Daisy
none, Uncle Jesse. She's fine.

Well, nothin' I just heard
Big Jim tell Cousin, Boss--

Shhh!

They would let her go
after Melanie won the contest.

- I don't know.

They told me nothin'.

I'm just a second cousin
twice removed.

Much obliged, Cletus.

Boy, don't that figure?

Had Daisy kidnapped so she'd not
be here for the contest.

- Much less win it.

Rosco's bound to be
in this thing up to his neck.

So...challenging these three
here ain't gonna do us no good.

She's bound to be
with Big Jim's bodyguards.

We gotta find
that black car.

- Let's go.
- Uncle Jesse, come on.

That's just what they want.

If this contest starts,
and nobody's here for us Dukes

they're just gonna
disqualify Daisy like that.

Can't afford to waste more time.
Let's get outta here.

- Somethin's wrong.

Dukes high-tailed it outta here
like their breeches was on fire.

Yeah, well, I guess
they didn't believe me

when I told them
Daisy's alright.

You told them what?

'I told 'em Daisy's okay.'

'You mean you
spilled the beans?'

No, I just told 'em
Daisy's alright.

He did
more than that, Hogg.

He just put your fat
in the fire.

He can dang well pull it
out of the fire.

Cletus, you go after
them boys, you hear me?

Or I'm gonna fire you as second
cousin. Rosco, you, too.

I want them Dukes arrested
before they cause any trouble.

- Um-um..

Well, figure out a charge
after you nail 'em. Go on!

You in a lot
of trouble, boy.

- Hoo! Hey, wait a minute.
- I'll get the...come here.

All you out there
who might be listenin'..

we got big trouble.
This here's Bo and Luke Duke.

We're lookin' for
a four-door black sedan.

'It'll be carryin' two men
and our cousin, Daisy.'

Anybody who see's it,
get back to us, quick.

You fella's ain't
got a chance now.

Everybody in Hazzard's
gonna be lookin' for you.

Why do think I'm stickin'
to the back roads?

Hey, Grogan, there's
a stopped car up ahead.

Get around him.

- 'Oh, no, you don't!'
- Get her back in here.

Anybody spotted that
black sedan? Come back.

Dang! Ain't nobody
gonna answer.

Oh, Luke,
don't look now.

That ain't the least
of our problems.

We got Rosco and Cletus
back there.

We ain't got no time
to deal with them. Lose 'em.

Cletus, this is your
supreme superior officer

Rosco speakin'.
We got 'em this time.

They're headin' down
Old Telegraph Road.'

Now, you hook a right at the
junction and head 'em off

and I'll take the left.

'Black sedan!'

'Somebody out there must have
seen that black sedan by now.'

'Come back, please.'

Now, ain't that a shame?
Nobody's answerin'.

They don't have
any idea where we are.

'This is wayfarin' stranger.'

'Think I can help you.
Come back.'

Somethin' tells me they're
about to get that idea

you were talkin'
about, mister.

Step on it.

Wayfarin' stranger, you're
comin' through loud and proud.

- A black sedan just passed me.

There's a pretty girl in back
who was tryin' to get out.

- On old Stage Road.

About two miles south
of the railroad cross.

We got you. We're much
obliged! We're gone.

About half a mile
from here as the crow flies.

Hang on, we're about
to sprout wings.

Alright, simmer down. That's
it, simmer down. Now, listen.

We've come to the event that
you've all been waitin' for.

The swimsuit competition.

The majority of the principal
contestants are already here.

So I see no reason why we
just don't begin right now.

J.D., J.D..
Just a minute J.D..

'You can't
start that event,' yet.

Daisy ain't here.

So what? I mean, she ain't
got much of a chance anyhow.

Alright, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

Folks, er, a correction.

The swimsuit competition will
start in exactly in eight legs.

Minutes!

I couldn't be fairer,
could I?

Meanwhile the boys
was cuttin' cross country

after that black sedan.

Rosco and Cletus was still
figurin' on cuttin them off

at the junction.
Only they figured wrong.

Let's get 'em off!

- Oh, no, you don't!
- Hey, what the..

Get back here!

- Alright.
- Nice goin', guys.

We figured you
grabbed the keys.

Yup.

There's no use in bringing
in these two dudes.

Boss wouldn't let Rosco
arrest them anyway.

We can get to Boar's Nest in
time for the last competition.

- Come on, let's get going.
- I'll get us there.

You can count on me.

And, now, let's introduce the
first finalist for the crown

of Miss Tri-Counties,
Miss Riverton County!

'There she is, folks,
Miss Riverton County!

That's one down, and one to go.

General Lee better keep
movin' right along.

Alright, Alright, now.
Simmer down, simmer down.

'Because now, we present
our next contestant'

'a gal who, let me
tell you something'

is just about gonna
win the contest.

The one, the only,
Melanie Dubois

'Miss Hatchipee County!'

Hate to tell you this, Cooter,
but time's just about run out.

- Cooter, you can't do that.

Look ,there,
the judges give Miss Dubois

of Hatchipee County
nine points each!

Oh, and that tops the runner up,
Miss Riverton County

by at least four points
or somethin' like that.

Come on, Daisy.

Hey, sounds like that
competition's already started.

As long as they don't
finish without you.

Seein' that there's
no more contestants..

...I therefore proclaim
the winner to be--

Boss, hold on!

Daisy!

- The judgin' ain't over yet.
- Oh, yes, it is, it is.

And they ain't gonna
change their minds none.

You've been against me from the
beginnin'. It just ain't fair.

You're out of uniform, you're
supposed to wear a swimsuit.

What do you think this is?

- Yee-haw!
- Yeah! Alright! Come on.

And that's how Daisy Duke
became the first and probably

the last Miss Tri-Counties.

Which meant the 4-H Club got
the $500 she promised 'em.

Big Jim took
the $10,000 back

which threw ol' Boss
into a near terminal shock.

Good news!
Good news, little fat buddy!

Ohh, Rosco's got a surprise.

Which means that he got
hungrier than normal.

'Course Rosco came
to the rescue there.

Sort of.

Ooh!

- Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
- Mmm!

And Daisy won the contest
as a best all-around gal

in three counties.

Gee, I could have
told them that.