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~~
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Good morning, darling.
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Come on, rise and shine.
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It's a beautiful day out, Rob.
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The sun is shining. Come on, honey.
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Let's get an early start.
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Rob? Honey? Hey.
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Don't do that!
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( THINKING ) don't do that?
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He used to love me to do that.
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Hmm. my prince charming.
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Promised to slay dragons for me.
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He won't even get up to have breakfast with me
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on his day off.
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Well, I guess it's natural for a husband
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to behave this way after so many years of marriage.
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But I still feel like eating breakfast with him.
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I wonder if he's getting tired of me.
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I never noticed these lines before.
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Maybe he has.
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Oh, I'm just being silly.
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We're not married that long.
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Rob? Are you asleep?
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( GROANS )
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want to have breakfast with me?
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What time is it?
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It's after 9:00.
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How much after?
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A minute.
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Rob, don't you want to have breakfast with me?
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Oh, do I have to?
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No, you don't have to,
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if you'd rather just lie there.
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Oh, yeah, I would.
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Well, I guess I'll just have to have breakfast alone again.
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No, wait for me, honey. I'll eat with you.
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When? In two hours?
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If I wait till 11:00, I'll faint.
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Good idea.
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All right!
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Honey?
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Would you pull the curtain?
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The light's in my eyes.
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Rob, are you going to sleep all day?
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No, just till 11:00, honey.
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Wake me at 11:00.
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( ALARM RINGING )
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( ALARM STOPS ) Ahh.
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Oh, boy. I feel good!
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Good morning, honey. Morning, honey.
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Thanks for letting me sleep.
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Feeling better?
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Oh, those extra two hours' sleep really set me up.
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Sure. What time did you get up?
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Oh, I've been up since 7:00.
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Oh, then you've had your breakfast.
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Mm-mm. Waited for you.
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You must be starving. How'd you do that?
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It's easy. I set the alarm ahead two hours.
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Good idea.
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You mean I didn't get those extra two hours' sleep?
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No.
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Well, uh...
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How much extra sleep did I get?
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About seven seconds.
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Oh, boy, am I tired.
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Rob, you've had eight hours.
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I know, but that was last night.
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I like to get a couple of hours in the morning.
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Oh, Rob! You--
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Shh, honey.
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Have a little respect for daddy!
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Morning, honey.
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( KISSES ) how's my old lady?
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What did you say?
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I said, how's my old lady?
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Well, I don't know. I haven't spoken to your mother lately,
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but I'm fine.
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Oh, touche.
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Honey, there's pits and seeds
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and orange flesh in this orange juice.
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You know how meticulous I am about my orange flesh.
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Not too meticulous about the way you dress, are you?
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My, don't you look dashing.
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Why, thank you, my dear.
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What are you doing?
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A gray hair.
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So?
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So...congratulations.
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Today you're a woman.
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Here, you want to press it in a book
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or have it bronzed?
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Do you want your breakfast now?
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Sure.
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Honey...
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Are you angry with me for something?
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What makes you think that?
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( SLAMS )
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that makes me think that.
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I've been joking around with you.
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You haven't been joking back.
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You mean I'm not my usual pleasant self?
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Honey, are you angry with me
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because I didn't have breakfast with you?
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No, I'm not. You're not angry?
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No, I'm not angry!
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( CLANGING )
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Honey, who have you got in there?
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I am beating your eggs.
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What do you want with them?
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I don't know. A smile might be nice.
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I think I'll go back and, uh...
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Start the whole day over again.
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While you're at it, you might choose something
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a little less formal to wear.
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Honey, this is my day-off outfit.
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That's it. You're angry with me
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because of the way I'm dressed.
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Well, do you like the way you look?
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Well...
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I guess I do look pretty yucky at that.
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I'm sorry, honey. I'll go in and change.
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No, no, you don't have to change on my account.
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Who's account am I gonna change on?
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I can't see how yucky I look.
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Well, I can.
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I mean, don't you care
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that I can see you looking this way?
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Just...excuse me.
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I don't know, honey. You always told me before
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that I look cute when I'm sloppy.
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You don't look cute.
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You look like someone who doesn't care if--
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if--
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who doesn't care if what?
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Well, if I walked around like that--
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I mean, if a husband really cares about--
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well, all I know is that if--
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( CRYING ) well, if the bloom is off the rose, then--
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and if two married people can't--
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well, then I say, what's the use?!
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Honey!
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Honey, what are you trying to say?
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You just don't care!
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Don't care about what?
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Well, if you don't know what you don't care about,
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then I'm certainly not going to tell you.
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Honey!
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I don't know what you just said.
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I don't know what you're so upset about.
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I know this has something to do with my sleeping late
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and my general yuckiness.
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Honey, I don't like to see you this way.
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Is there anything I can do?
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Yes, just eat your eggs!
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( SOBBING )
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Oh...honey?
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You can stop crying. I'm eating my eggs.
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( DOOR SLAMS )
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Say, what's the matter with you, Laura?
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We've been addressing envelopes for an hour now,
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and all you can say is, "uh-huh" or "hmm".
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Are you all right? I'm fine.
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Everything all right with you and Rob?
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Why do you ask that?
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Oh, I don't know.
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You've noticed something between us, haven't you?
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No, not at all. I just asked--
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no, Millie, you did notice something, didn't you?
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Well, I'm noticing it now. What's happened?
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Oh, Millie.
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I've seen it happen to other married couples,
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but I just never thought I'd see it happen to Rob and me.
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I mean, that-- that Rob--
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that my--that-- what?
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( CRYING ) that my own husband--
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what? Would--
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Laura, you're making me nervous!
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What happened?
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This.
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He hit you in the head?!
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No, of course not.
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Well, what are you showing me?
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Can't you see the gray hair?
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Gray hair?
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Where? I don't see any gray hair.
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Well, it was there yesterday.
188
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Rob pulled one out.
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Oh, Millie, I'm getting old.
190
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Oh, come on, Laura. One gray hair
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isn't gonna make you old.
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Yeah, well, it's not just the gray hair.
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It's Rob's whole attitude toward me.
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You can stuff that one.
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You mean he's not as attentive as he used to be?
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No, he's not. And he doesn't look at me
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the same way he used to, either.
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Well, why should he? He's got you memorized.
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He knows you're pretty, and he takes it for granted.
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Yeah, that's it. For granted.
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Everything in our lives is just too for granted.
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We each know exactly what the other is going to think and do.
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There just aren't any more surprises left.
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Well, you have to make them. How do you do that?
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Whenever Jerry starts taking me for granted,
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I have a simple remedy. What?
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I just bleach my hair.
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You bleach your hair? Uh-huh.
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It's amazing what happens.
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Jerry will stare at me as though he's looking
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at a whole new lady.
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He gets very affectionate, too.
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Millie, do you think that if I bleach my hair--
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no, I couldn't.
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Why not?
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Well, I don't think Rob would approve of me as a blonde.
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How does he feel about Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot?
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Millie, I'll do it.
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Great, marvelous!
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What do we do first?
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~ Five, four, three
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~ Two, one
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Zero! Well, we did it.
224
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What? What'd we do?
225
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We wasted a whole day.
226
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Thanks a lot. For this big scoop, you had to wake me up?
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I had a beautiful dream.
228
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Now you can go home and finish it.
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Not this one.
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My wife wouldn't let me bring it in the house.
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Look, you guys, if you want to call it a day, go home.
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Rob, I'm here to work. If you want to work, let's work.
233
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You're doing your nails. I figured you had a date.
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As a matter of fact, I have,
235
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but it's the kind of a date
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where it's better if I show up a little late.
237
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Like two or three days.
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Oh, one of those, huh?
239
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Whatever happened to all those prospective bridegrooms
240
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you used to have hanging around here?
241
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They're still around. Yeah?
242
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There's Doubting Charlie, there's--
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Doubting Charlie?
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Yeah, he keeps proposing,
245
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and I keep saying yes,
246
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but he just won't believe me.
247
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,575
Remember that guy you used to have around--
248
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he had an ear like this and a funny nose like this?
249
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You mean Woodrow Glimsher.
250
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That's him. Woodrow Glimsher.
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He's got a mother problem.
252
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Yeah, he's got a name problem, too.
253
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See, Woodrow's mother wants him to wait a little while.
254
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She doesn't want him to get married until I'm too old.
255
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Well, who's the lucky little gent tonight?
256
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Herman. Who's Herman?
257
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Please, let's not talk about before dinner.
258
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Where'd you meet this Herman?
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Woodrow's mother introduced us.
260
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Come on, Sal, what is he like?
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Herman? Well, Herman is, uh...
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Blech.
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Blech! Herman Blech! I think I know him.
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Are you gonna talk about my romances,
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or are we gonna get some work done around here?
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Look, gang on home.
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I'm sorry I've been such a big drag today.
268
00:12:29,523 --> 00:12:31,492
You know, you have been a drag.
269
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:34,028
What's the matter? You sick or something? No, I'm not sick.
270
00:12:34,061 --> 00:12:35,763
Don't you know our chief well enough by now?
271
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,398
When he's sick, he works harder.
272
00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:39,066
When he broods, it's one of two things--
273
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,768
one, he had a fight with Laura,
274
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,603
or two, Laura had a fight with him.
275
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,805
True or false? True.
276
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:46,874
Well, what was the beef about?
277
00:12:46,907 --> 00:12:49,377
I don't know. we didn't fight long enough for me to find out.
278
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:52,446
Oh, one of those-- "and if you don't know..."
279
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,082
BOTH: "I'm certainly not going to tell you."
280
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:02,857
Hey, Rob, did she give you a hint?
281
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:04,859
She was about to at one point,
282
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:06,961
then she started to cry.
283
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,630
Ohh, this kid is in trouble.
284
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,132
Rob, why don't you do like I do?
285
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,933
Yeah, why don't you do like he does?
286
00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:15,036
What do you do?
287
00:13:15,069 --> 00:13:16,671
I just look down my list
288
00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:18,039
of all the things wives get upset about.
289
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:19,740
Good thinking.
290
00:13:19,774 --> 00:13:21,542
I've been doing that all day, Buddy.
291
00:13:21,575 --> 00:13:23,544
It hasn't gotten me anywhere.
292
00:13:23,577 --> 00:13:25,613
Well, maybe your list isn't as full as mine.
293
00:13:25,646 --> 00:13:28,616
The longer you're married, the longer the list.
294
00:13:28,649 --> 00:13:31,786
Hey, how about jealousy?
295
00:13:31,819 --> 00:13:33,954
No, I tried that. It couldn't be jealousy.
296
00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:35,656
Laura doesn't cry when she's jealous.
297
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,792
She just sits there and smiles. Smiles?
298
00:13:37,825 --> 00:13:39,460
Yeah, like this.
299
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:43,864
Have you insulted your mother-in-law lately?
300
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,500
No, I love my mother-in-law. I never insult her.
301
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,003
That's just it. You're neglecting the old bat.
302
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,738
You gotta insult 'em,
303
00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:52,673
or they think you don't care.
304
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,709
You know, this is an education.
305
00:13:54,742 --> 00:13:57,912
I gotta remember this if Woodrow's mother ever proposes.
306
00:13:57,945 --> 00:14:00,614
How about presents? Presents?
307
00:14:00,648 --> 00:14:02,450
Yeah, like for special occasions.
308
00:14:02,483 --> 00:14:03,751
Like what?
309
00:14:03,784 --> 00:14:05,052
Birthday, anniversary...
310
00:14:05,086 --> 00:14:06,721
Valentine's day, Mother's Day...
311
00:14:06,754 --> 00:14:08,889
Bastille day, Rosh Hashanah.
312
00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:12,526
Except for Bastille Day and Rosh Hashanah,
313
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,095
I think I'm all squared away.
314
00:14:14,128 --> 00:14:16,130
Did you take the garbage out? Every night.
315
00:14:16,163 --> 00:14:18,065
More important, have you taken her out?
316
00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:21,135
Almost as often as the garbage.
317
00:14:21,168 --> 00:14:23,170
Rob, have you told her how pretty she is
318
00:14:23,204 --> 00:14:25,172
and that you love her so much you just can't work?
319
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,607
Oh, she--
320
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,544
Sal, you're kidding, but you know something?
321
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,881
I think you might've hit it.
322
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,916
I can't remember the last time I told her I loved her.
323
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,718
See? Sally is right.
324
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,821
Listen, the worst thing that can happen to a woman
325
00:14:40,855 --> 00:14:42,890
is...that she go out on a date
326
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,025
with one unpolished fingernail.
327
00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:49,764
Listen, gang, thanks a lot.
328
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,832
I'm sorry it's been such an unproductive day.
329
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:53,534
What do you mean, unproductive?
330
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:56,203
I got in a beautiful eight hours' sleep.
331
00:14:56,237 --> 00:14:58,105
I got my nails done and saved your marriage.
332
00:14:58,139 --> 00:15:00,207
I think it's been a beautiful day.
333
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:01,709
Here's your coat, Sal.
334
00:15:01,742 --> 00:15:03,077
Tally ho.
335
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,812
Holy tal.
336
00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:06,180
( LINE RINGS )
337
00:15:06,213 --> 00:15:08,482
Hello? Oh, hi, Rob.
338
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,718
It's Millie. Laura's in the other room.
339
00:15:10,751 --> 00:15:12,086
Just a minute, I'll get her.
340
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,021
Laura? It's Rob.
341
00:15:14,054 --> 00:15:17,057
LAURA: Oh, I can't talk with him this way!
342
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:19,093
Laura, you're being foolish.
343
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,861
She'll be with you in a minute.
344
00:15:20,895 --> 00:15:22,630
You look beautiful.
345
00:15:22,663 --> 00:15:24,732
I look hideous!
346
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:26,667
I disagree, but even if you do,
347
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,569
he can't see you on the phone.
348
00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:35,943
Oh, Millie, I don't know why
349
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,611
I ever let you talk me into it.
350
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,280
I can't stand the way I look.
351
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,882
Rob will love it, you'll see.
352
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,555
Hello, Rob?
353
00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:50,791
What? What did you say?
354
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,760
Sing that again.
355
00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:54,628
Well, I don't think it was that good,
356
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163
but if you insist.
357
00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:57,998
~ I dreamed of Laura
358
00:15:58,032 --> 00:16:00,134
~ With the dark brown hair
359
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,703
Did you tell him about my hair?
360
00:16:02,736 --> 00:16:04,738
I didn't say anything but "Hello"?
361
00:16:04,772 --> 00:16:07,007
Then why is he singing about my dark brown hair?
362
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:09,743
I don't know. it's just a coincidence.
363
00:16:09,777 --> 00:16:11,812
Honey? What's going on there?
364
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,014
Oh, nothing, darling. Nothing.
365
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:16,016
Millie just asked me a question.
366
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:18,052
Uh, what'd you call about?
367
00:16:18,085 --> 00:16:19,787
Well, nothing, really.
368
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:22,289
You just called to sing about my hair?
369
00:16:22,323 --> 00:16:25,659
Well, actually, I called to... Tell you I love you
370
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,962
and that I'd like to be your friend again.
371
00:16:27,995 --> 00:16:30,965
Well, you didn't call about my hair, then?
372
00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:33,601
No, I didn't call about your hair. Why would I do that?
373
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:35,603
Well, I don't know. I pick up the phone,
374
00:16:35,636 --> 00:16:38,639
and there you are, singing about my dark brown hair.
375
00:16:38,672 --> 00:16:41,842
I mean, Rob, do you really like my hair?
376
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:45,346
I mean really like my hair?
377
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,214
Honey, I love your hair.
378
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:50,618
Well, honey, what if I were a blonde?
379
00:16:50,651 --> 00:16:52,186
Would I be as attractive to you
380
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,954
if I were a blonde?
381
00:16:53,988 --> 00:16:56,957
Uh...I can't picture you as a blonde, honey.
382
00:16:56,991 --> 00:16:58,659
Wait a minute. Yes, I can.
383
00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:00,761
You know who you'd look like? Who?
384
00:17:00,794 --> 00:17:02,062
Harpo Marx.
385
00:17:04,131 --> 00:17:06,767
He said I'd look like Harpo Marx!
386
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,036
And I do!
387
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,005
Honey...
388
00:17:11,038 --> 00:17:14,008
You're not considering bleaching your hair, are you?
389
00:17:14,041 --> 00:17:18,078
Oh, no, I'm not considering that.
390
00:17:18,112 --> 00:17:21,081
Good. Don't you dare. I married a brunette, honey.
391
00:17:21,115 --> 00:17:23,183
If I wanted a blonde, I could've married...
392
00:17:23,217 --> 00:17:25,619
Brigitte Bardot or Marilyn Monroe.
393
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,288
You stay as sweet as you are.
394
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:29,390
Look, honey, I'll be home in less than an hour
395
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,625
to take my brown-haired beauty to dinner.
396
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,193
Uh--
397
00:17:33,227 --> 00:17:34,929
you're supposed to say, "Yay."
398
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:37,031
Yay.
399
00:17:37,064 --> 00:17:39,133
You, uh, don't sound too pleased.
400
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:41,936
Well, I am, honey. I'm-- I'm very pleased.
401
00:17:41,969 --> 00:17:44,672
It's just that I don't think I can go.
402
00:17:44,705 --> 00:17:46,273
Why not?
403
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,342
Well, it's my hair.
404
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,411
I know, it's a mess, honey. But you'll get it looking fine.
405
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,979
You always do.
406
00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:54,281
No, it's-- well, I shampooed it,
407
00:17:54,315 --> 00:17:57,217
and I don't think it'll be dry in time.
408
00:17:57,251 --> 00:17:59,186
So you go ahead to the restaurant,
409
00:17:59,219 --> 00:18:00,888
and I'll meet you there in--
410
00:18:00,921 --> 00:18:02,923
how long will it take you to dye it back?
411
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,159
About an hour. But why do you want-- shh!
412
00:18:05,192 --> 00:18:09,363
In about an hour. So don't come home.
413
00:18:09,396 --> 00:18:12,199
Will you please calm down? It's just dinner.
414
00:18:12,232 --> 00:18:13,968
What are you so excited about?
415
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,903
Well, uh, I'm just excited
416
00:18:15,936 --> 00:18:17,905
about going out to dinner with you.
417
00:18:17,938 --> 00:18:19,173
I'll be home in less than an hour.
418
00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:20,407
I'm on my way. bye.
419
00:18:20,441 --> 00:18:22,176
No, no. Rob? Wait--
420
00:18:22,209 --> 00:18:24,211
( CLICK )
421
00:18:24,244 --> 00:18:25,913
Millie, you've got less than an hour
422
00:18:25,946 --> 00:18:27,681
to turn me back into a brunette.
423
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:29,717
Why don't you let Rob see you this way?
424
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:32,753
Because I look like Harpo Marx!
425
00:18:32,786 --> 00:18:36,090
Well, all right. But I don't know if I can do it in an hour.
426
00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:37,691
You just said you could!
427
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,393
I know, but I just remembered--
428
00:18:39,426 --> 00:18:41,261
I don't have your shade in stock.
429
00:18:41,295 --> 00:18:43,397
I used it all up on myself last week.
430
00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:44,932
Oh...what are you doing?
431
00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:46,700
I'll have to call the drug store.
432
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:47,968
How long will it take?
433
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,037
Until I'm finished dialing.
434
00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:52,106
No, I mean to dye it back.
435
00:18:52,139 --> 00:18:54,008
I'll ask them to rush it.
436
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:55,209
( RINGS )
437
00:18:55,242 --> 00:18:56,744
Hello?
438
00:18:56,777 --> 00:18:58,746
Hello? How fast can you get
439
00:18:58,779 --> 00:19:00,881
a bottle of number 3 brown hair coloring
440
00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:02,916
to 148 Bonnie Meadow Road?
441
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:04,852
It's an emergency! A what?
442
00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:06,720
An emergency!
443
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:08,389
A hair coloring emergency?
444
00:19:08,422 --> 00:19:09,957
Yes!
445
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:11,258
Is this a rib?
446
00:19:11,291 --> 00:19:12,893
It's no rib.
447
00:19:12,926 --> 00:19:15,162
Is that you, Phil?
448
00:19:18,499 --> 00:19:21,902
No, it's not Phil! It's Mrs. Helper!
449
00:19:21,935 --> 00:19:23,937
Oh, oh, Mrs. Helper, yes. Fine.
450
00:19:23,971 --> 00:19:25,806
Now, don't get excited.
451
00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:27,741
I'll get it over to you as fast as I can.
452
00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:32,446
Come on. Millie, we'll never get it done in time!
453
00:19:35,983 --> 00:19:38,052
Laurie?
454
00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:40,254
Rich?
455
00:19:40,287 --> 00:19:41,955
Where is everybody?
456
00:19:41,989 --> 00:19:44,024
Here I am, Daddy!
457
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,859
What are you doing in there?
458
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,327
Playing hat check.
459
00:19:47,361 --> 00:19:48,996
Oh. well, how's business?
460
00:19:49,029 --> 00:19:50,497
Terrible.
461
00:19:50,531 --> 00:19:52,299
All right, I'll tell you what.
462
00:19:52,332 --> 00:19:55,069
Here is a tip for you. Thanks.
463
00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:57,204
Hey, did you bring me anything, Daddy?
464
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,840
Rich, I just gave you the baseball cards.
465
00:19:59,873 --> 00:20:01,909
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
466
00:20:01,942 --> 00:20:03,777
Rich, where's your mommy?
467
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:06,213
She's in the bedroom, coloring.
468
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,715
Oh.
469
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,954
Coloring?
470
00:20:16,857 --> 00:20:18,459
Hi, Millie. Hi.
471
00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:20,260
Don't go in there? Huh?
472
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:22,096
You were going in the bedroom, weren't you?
473
00:20:22,129 --> 00:20:23,897
Yeah, why? Just don't.
474
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,300
Is Laura in there? Yes, she is, but--
475
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,102
is she all right? Has anything happened?
476
00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:29,536
Well, no. She's all right.
477
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:31,105
Millie, I'm her husband.
478
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:32,539
If anything's happened-- Laura?
479
00:20:32,573 --> 00:20:34,108
Rob, trust me.
480
00:20:34,141 --> 00:20:36,043
Go away and come back in an hour.
481
00:20:36,076 --> 00:20:38,479
I will not. Laura, are you all right?
482
00:20:38,512 --> 00:20:40,147
LAURA: don't come in!
483
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,950
Why not? Because I don't want you to.
484
00:20:42,983 --> 00:20:44,518
This is getting ridiculous.
485
00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:46,420
Laura, are you all right?
486
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,388
( SOBBING ) I'm--I'm fine!
487
00:20:48,422 --> 00:20:50,157
Just go away!
488
00:20:50,190 --> 00:20:53,060
If you go away and come back in one hour--
489
00:20:53,093 --> 00:20:55,129
I'm not going away and coming back in any hour.
490
00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:56,930
Now, please, Millie. I'll stay here
491
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,599
till I find out what this is--
492
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,467
Laura?
493
00:21:00,501 --> 00:21:02,436
Laura, this is my house,
494
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,104
you're my wife.
495
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,240
And this is my door.
496
00:21:06,273 --> 00:21:08,208
Open it up and let me in there.
497
00:21:08,242 --> 00:21:11,145
LAURA: Please, Rob, go away.
498
00:21:11,178 --> 00:21:13,981
Laura, I'm serious.
499
00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:16,250
( DEEP VOICE ) Laura, listen to the tone of my voice.
500
00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:21,455
Laura, now, you know this tone, don't you?
501
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,490
Laura, I am not a violent man,
502
00:21:23,524 --> 00:21:25,425
but unless you're out of there by the time I count to three,
503
00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:26,994
I'm gonna bust this door down.
504
00:21:27,027 --> 00:21:28,228
Go away!
505
00:21:28,262 --> 00:21:30,164
Laura, I'm serious.
506
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:33,934
One...
507
00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:35,369
Two...
508
00:21:35,402 --> 00:21:37,971
( SCREAMS INDISTINCTLY )
509
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,540
Rich, go to your room and look at your baseball cards.
510
00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:41,375
Can I see you bust the door down first?
511
00:21:41,408 --> 00:21:43,277
I am not gonna bust the door down.
512
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:45,412
I'm gonna bust that door down.
513
00:21:45,445 --> 00:21:47,281
Go to your room.
514
00:21:47,314 --> 00:21:48,916
Where was I?
515
00:21:48,949 --> 00:21:50,050
One.
516
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:51,318
Thank you.
517
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,153
One...
518
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,955
Two...
519
00:21:54,988 --> 00:21:56,256
Three!
520
00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:16,977
Why?
521
00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:24,117
What is that?
522
00:22:24,151 --> 00:22:27,120
Well, are you satisfied?
523
00:22:27,154 --> 00:22:29,556
We told you to come back in an hour.
524
00:22:29,590 --> 00:22:32,025
You're bleaching your hair blond.
525
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,228
We're not bleaching her hair--
526
00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:39,199
I suppose it's turning by itself?
527
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:42,569
We're dyeing it back to its natural color.
528
00:22:42,603 --> 00:22:45,372
Laura's been a blonde all afternoon.
529
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:48,709
All afternoon!
530
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:50,944
Honey, why?
531
00:22:50,978 --> 00:22:54,414
Why? Well, yesterday morning,
532
00:22:54,448 --> 00:22:56,383
I kissed you,
533
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:59,286
and you said, "Don't do that."
534
00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:02,055
And you came down to breakfast
535
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,324
in your yucky shirt...
536
00:23:04,358 --> 00:23:07,227
( SOBBING INDISTINCTLY )
537
00:23:09,463 --> 00:23:11,965
and the gray hair!
538
00:23:11,999 --> 00:23:14,401
And the Harpo Marx!
539
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:18,739
And the general yuckiness!
540
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:20,674
Honey.
541
00:23:23,477 --> 00:23:26,713
Honey, it's all right.
542
00:23:26,747 --> 00:23:29,283
I understand, honey.
543
00:23:29,316 --> 00:23:31,685
I understand.
544
00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:34,388
You do?
545
00:23:34,421 --> 00:23:36,657
Uh, I think I'll come back after dinner
546
00:23:36,690 --> 00:23:38,325
and finish the job.
547
00:23:38,358 --> 00:23:40,560
Bye.
548
00:23:40,594 --> 00:23:42,663
Oh, Rob.
549
00:23:42,696 --> 00:23:44,531
Bye, everybody.
550
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:56,677
Good night, Daddy. Good night, son.
551
00:23:56,710 --> 00:23:58,712
Daddy, tomorrow, is Mommy's hair
552
00:23:58,745 --> 00:24:00,447
gonna be brown again?
553
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,749
It certainly is. That's good.
554
00:24:02,783 --> 00:24:05,419
Oh, you think mama's prettier with brown hair, too?
555
00:24:05,452 --> 00:24:08,221
No, I think she's prettier with yellow.
556
00:24:08,255 --> 00:24:10,290
You do? Mm-hmm.
557
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:13,093
Then why are you so happy about her turning it brown again?
558
00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:15,529
Because I don't want her to look prettier.
559
00:24:15,562 --> 00:24:17,464
I want her to look like Mommy.
560
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:19,666
( LAUGHS )
561
00:24:23,737 --> 00:24:25,706
~~
38576
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