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1
00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:56,728
I am Satan,
2
00:00:56,749 --> 00:00:58,886
King of all
that is evil.
3
00:00:58,917 --> 00:01:00,857
In the name
of God almighty,
4
00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:02,994
I cast ye
back to hell!
5
00:01:03,015 --> 00:01:05,466
I command
thy putrid spirit
6
00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:08,166
Be banished from
this child's soul.
7
00:01:08,187 --> 00:01:10,168
Never!
The girl is mine!
8
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,910
Mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine...
9
00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:14,506
Don't you stick your
tongue out at me!
10
00:01:14,527 --> 00:01:16,977
Aw, I'll do what
I damn well please.
11
00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:18,479
Stop your cursing!
12
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,481
Make me, slime ball.
13
00:01:20,502 --> 00:01:22,316
I am a priest!
14
00:01:22,337 --> 00:01:23,849
Oh, pardon me...
15
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,195
Your reverend
and holy slime ball.
16
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,322
How about these, pops?
17
00:01:28,353 --> 00:01:30,991
I command you,
close your blouse!
18
00:01:31,022 --> 00:01:32,868
Watch this, bud.
19
00:01:32,889 --> 00:01:35,861
Put down
that crucifix!
20
00:01:35,892 --> 00:01:39,176
Ohh, I love it!
21
00:01:39,197 --> 00:01:42,346
Stop it!
I command you!
22
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:44,046
Be gone, Satan!
23
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:47,351
Be gone, demon!
24
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:51,063
No!
25
00:01:51,074 --> 00:01:55,526
Mother! Mother!
26
00:01:55,547 --> 00:01:57,904
Mother!
27
00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,427
Father, is it
all over?
28
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:02,398
Is Nancy
all right?
29
00:02:05,932 --> 00:02:07,371
Bless you.
30
00:02:07,403 --> 00:02:09,373
Father, how can I
possibly thank you?
31
00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:20,791
Mayii?
32
00:02:20,791 --> 00:02:22,053
Aah!
33
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,524
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
34
00:02:24,555 --> 00:02:26,995
Aah! Ha ha ha!
35
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,538
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
36
00:02:28,559 --> 00:02:31,270
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
37
00:02:31,302 --> 00:02:32,876
Ew! Ooh!
38
00:02:32,897 --> 00:02:34,336
Ooh, ooh!
Aah!
39
00:02:34,367 --> 00:02:35,379
Aah!
40
00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:43,220
Ooh.
41
00:02:46,984 --> 00:02:49,966
I'll be back!
42
00:02:49,987 --> 00:02:52,093
Ooh!
43
00:02:52,124 --> 00:02:54,106
Oh, shit.
44
00:02:57,463 --> 00:02:59,538
Ooh.
45
00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:12,655
♪ I was minding my business
46
00:03:12,676 --> 00:03:13,990
♪ when the devil
walked in on me ♪
47
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:15,492
♪ oh, no
48
00:03:15,523 --> 00:03:16,628
♪ waving his hands said
49
00:03:16,649 --> 00:03:18,505
♪ "come on, just follow me"
50
00:03:18,526 --> 00:03:20,497
♪ so I, I looked him
in the eye ♪
51
00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:21,935
♪ and I showed him
to the door ♪
52
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,176
♪ oh, no
53
00:03:23,197 --> 00:03:24,667
♪ and I told him
to get lost ♪
54
00:03:24,688 --> 00:03:26,346
♪ 'cause I've been there
once before ♪
55
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:29,370
♪ don't want to be
re-re-re-repossessed ♪
56
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,645
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
57
00:03:35,272 --> 00:03:37,628
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
58
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:41,132
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
59
00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:50,537
♪ now I've... I've been invited
60
00:03:50,558 --> 00:03:53,040
♪ to the neverland
called hell ♪
61
00:03:53,071 --> 00:03:54,541
♪ it's much too warm for me
62
00:03:54,572 --> 00:03:56,543
♪ don't like the heat
that well ♪
63
00:03:56,574 --> 00:03:58,409
♪ and I looked fear
in the face ♪
64
00:03:58,441 --> 00:04:01,256
♪ so many times before
65
00:04:01,277 --> 00:04:04,395
♪ and that's why I'm so fast
to show him to the door ♪
66
00:04:04,415 --> 00:04:07,064
♪ don't want to be
re-re-re-repossessed ♪
67
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:09,566
♪ get on out...
Get on out of the door ♪
68
00:04:09,587 --> 00:04:11,391
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
69
00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:13,070
♪ get on out...
Get on out of the door ♪
70
00:04:13,091 --> 00:04:16,209
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
71
00:04:16,229 --> 00:04:17,710
♪ oh, no
72
00:04:17,731 --> 00:04:19,337
♪ uh-oh
73
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,582
♪ get on out...
Get on out of the door ♪
74
00:04:25,614 --> 00:04:27,720
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
75
00:04:54,142 --> 00:04:56,061
Uh, Adams?
76
00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:57,083
Here.
77
00:04:57,114 --> 00:04:58,282
Blaine?
78
00:04:58,313 --> 00:04:59,231
Yes, father.
79
00:04:59,252 --> 00:05:00,253
Grigsby?
80
00:05:00,273 --> 00:05:01,525
Here, father.
81
00:05:01,546 --> 00:05:05,372
The mormon
tabernacle choir?
82
00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:07,072
♪ here
83
00:05:10,158 --> 00:05:13,078
Good day to you.
I am father mayii.
84
00:05:13,099 --> 00:05:16,717
And I would like to welcome
you to the seminar.
85
00:05:16,738 --> 00:05:18,813
I am here to discuss
an incident in my life
86
00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:21,013
That first destroyed,
87
00:05:21,013 --> 00:05:21,023
And then renewed my belief
in divine intervention.
That first destroyed,
88
00:05:21,023 --> 00:05:27,519
And then renewed my belief
in divine intervention.
89
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:32,535
17 years ago, a young girl
was a victim of an episode
90
00:05:32,556 --> 00:05:35,507
Of demonic possession,
91
00:05:35,527 --> 00:05:38,437
And I was called in
to rescue her soul.
92
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:42,649
Now, that battle left me
broken physically,
93
00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:43,754
And mentally...
94
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,446
But recently,
95
00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:49,489
My faith has been renewed.
96
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:53,462
And I believe that even the
most cynical among you here
97
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,361
Will... Find...
98
00:05:56,382 --> 00:05:58,436
This story...
99
00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:00,333
Inspiring.
100
00:06:02,669 --> 00:06:05,172
Young lady, would you
pull down your dress?
101
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:06,475
Sure.
102
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,676
Up!
103
00:06:09,707 --> 00:06:11,449
Ooh.
104
00:06:18,581 --> 00:06:20,531
I had long since
lost track
105
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:22,501
Of the child Nancy.
106
00:06:22,522 --> 00:06:25,567
She had grown to womanhood
and got married,
107
00:06:25,588 --> 00:06:27,527
And had settled down
with her husband
108
00:06:27,559 --> 00:06:29,696
And 2 lovely children,
109
00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:31,907
In a picturesque
neighborhood
110
00:06:31,928 --> 00:06:34,712
With playful children
and picket fences,
111
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:36,380
And lots of caucasians.
112
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:37,516
Ah-choo!
113
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,426
So, for the fifth time,
114
00:06:40,446 --> 00:06:41,520
This charity match
115
00:06:41,541 --> 00:06:43,658
Between the pro hockey
all-stars,
116
00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:44,899
And Peggy hamill's
pals on ice
117
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,557
Has turned ugly, Dan.
118
00:06:46,588 --> 00:06:48,267
Yeah, and it was
rusty the rooster
119
00:06:48,288 --> 00:06:49,695
Who started it all
with his...
120
00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:50,894
For another episode
121
00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,563
Of bride's head
revisited...
122
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:53,772
At last...
123
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,734
My dear, sweet,
loving bride!
124
00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:58,840
Oh, my darling!
125
00:06:58,871 --> 00:07:00,435
Ok, kids, dinner's
almost ready!
126
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:01,613
Turn off the TV!
127
00:07:01,645 --> 00:07:03,324
What are we having?
128
00:07:03,344 --> 00:07:05,576
Oh, your favorite...
Prime ribs, sweet potatoes,
129
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:08,923
Green beans...
And split pea soup.
130
00:07:13,553 --> 00:07:14,929
Not again!
Oh, mom!
131
00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:16,462
Both I hate
split pea soup!
132
00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:17,567
You know
we hate it.
133
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:19,308
Mom, we hate it!
134
00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:21,164
I said they were
lovely children.
135
00:07:21,164 --> 00:07:21,175
At this point, they had
not taken acting lessons.
I said they were
lovely children.
136
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:24,772
At this point, they had
not taken acting lessons.
137
00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:27,473
Really, mom, I want
to change my name.
138
00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:29,819
All my girlfriends
think it's dorky.
139
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,946
Oh, honey, but frieda
is such a nice name.
140
00:07:31,977 --> 00:07:35,762
Not my first name.
My last name... aglet.
141
00:07:35,783 --> 00:07:38,995
Come on! What's it mean,
anyway?
142
00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:41,362
Well, frieda,
in the old days,
143
00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:43,802
Aglet meant he who puts
those tiny plastic things
144
00:07:43,822 --> 00:07:45,501
On the end of shoelaces.
145
00:07:45,522 --> 00:07:48,869
See, back then, a man's name
was the same as his occupation.
146
00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,642
Oh, like a man named
Fred carpenter
147
00:07:50,663 --> 00:07:51,643
Would build houses?
148
00:07:51,664 --> 00:07:52,842
Mm-hmm.
149
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,343
Or a Thomas Baker
made bread?
150
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:55,438
Exactly.
151
00:07:55,469 --> 00:07:56,940
So, what did
John hancock do?
152
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:01,423
Well, there were
some exceptions.
153
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:02,852
♪ clap on
154
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,854
♪ clap off
155
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,699
♪ clap on,
clap off ♪
156
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,992
♪ the clapper
157
00:08:10,985 --> 00:08:14,937
Here's Ernest
and Fanny rae weller.
158
00:08:23,539 --> 00:08:25,823
Hey, bless you!
159
00:08:25,844 --> 00:08:29,754
God bless you!
160
00:08:29,785 --> 00:08:34,029
Welcome to Ernest and
Fanny's miracle hour.
161
00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:35,697
I am Ernest...
162
00:08:35,728 --> 00:08:37,397
And I'm Fanny.
163
00:08:37,428 --> 00:08:39,639
Oh, and you all know
little foo-foo.
164
00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:41,974
Hi, foo-foo!
165
00:08:41,995 --> 00:08:45,572
Oh, foo-foo says,
"God bless you, everyone."
166
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,573
Ha ha ha ha.
167
00:08:48,439 --> 00:08:50,889
We have a terrific
line-up of inspiration
168
00:08:50,910 --> 00:08:53,090
For you
on this program.
169
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:55,759
As usual, we'll be
reading some passages
170
00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:56,958
From the good book.
171
00:08:56,979 --> 00:08:59,064
And just possibly,
we will heal
172
00:08:59,085 --> 00:09:01,400
Some of our sickly,
and/or...
173
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:02,901
Crippled followers.
174
00:09:02,922 --> 00:09:04,997
And you know, Ernest,
175
00:09:05,018 --> 00:09:07,938
Foo-foo just loves
when you heal people.
176
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,846
Foo-foo is
a good dog.
177
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:11,848
Arf!
Why, you little shit!
178
00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:14,986
Zu. Shih-tzu.
179
00:09:15,007 --> 00:09:16,342
Ahh.
180
00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:17,520
I don't want
to watch this!
181
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:18,886
No, way!
182
00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:21,086
Hey, hey, hey, hey...
Come on, now.
183
00:09:21,107 --> 00:09:22,890
Ok, ok.
I'll change it.
184
00:09:22,921 --> 00:09:24,861
Why,
you little foo-foo.
185
00:09:25,945 --> 00:09:27,926
That's strange.
186
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:28,927
I don't know...
187
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,794
Maybe the batteries
are dead.
188
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:33,766
I'll change it
myself.
189
00:09:33,797 --> 00:09:36,070
We're going to defeat
the mightiest evil of all...
190
00:09:36,101 --> 00:09:38,437
The devil himself!
191
00:09:38,468 --> 00:09:42,983
Never forget that Satan
constantly surrounds us,
192
00:09:43,004 --> 00:09:44,985
With but one goal
in mind...
193
00:09:45,016 --> 00:09:47,926
To steal your soul!
194
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:12,815
Silence!
195
00:10:12,836 --> 00:10:14,525
One more word
196
00:10:14,546 --> 00:10:16,757
Out of you little
sacks of shit,
197
00:10:16,777 --> 00:10:19,666
And there'll be no more
TV for you tonight!
198
00:10:21,397 --> 00:10:23,534
Ha ha ha ha!
199
00:10:25,661 --> 00:10:26,902
Ahh...
200
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,980
Oh! Uhh! Uhh...
201
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:35,849
Oh! Oh, kids,
I'm so sorry!
202
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,621
I don't know what
came over me!
203
00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:38,560
Oh!
204
00:10:40,145 --> 00:10:41,823
20 bucks says
it's p.M.S.
205
00:10:43,752 --> 00:10:45,754
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
206
00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:48,132
Aah! Make it stop!
207
00:10:48,163 --> 00:10:49,664
Aah! Make it stop!
208
00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:02,511
I hate that control.
209
00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:06,588
Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry.
210
00:11:06,619 --> 00:11:08,496
Hey, don't be
so hard on yourself.
211
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:10,029
I should've ducked.
212
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,063
You have this thing
checked out
213
00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:14,867
By Dr. hackett
tomorrow, ok?
214
00:11:23,031 --> 00:11:26,649
Yep. Definitely p.M.S.
215
00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:31,790
I had no idea that Satan
had entered Nancy's body.
216
00:11:31,811 --> 00:11:35,293
And seized her soul
once again.
217
00:11:35,314 --> 00:11:36,795
As a matter of fact,
at that time,
218
00:11:36,816 --> 00:11:40,132
I was so burned-out...
As they say in California...
219
00:11:40,152 --> 00:11:44,031
I couldn't find my butt
with both my hands.
220
00:11:44,063 --> 00:11:46,304
I took a sabbatical,
and I traveled.
221
00:11:46,325 --> 00:11:48,744
But no matter
where I went,
222
00:11:48,765 --> 00:11:50,944
The memory
of that awful night
223
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:52,217
Kept haunting me.
224
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:01,789
Oh, honey, I forgot
to grab my purse.
225
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:02,956
Let's go back.
226
00:12:02,977 --> 00:12:03,926
All right.
227
00:12:30,953 --> 00:12:33,998
Ha ha. Here? Now?
228
00:12:40,098 --> 00:12:43,143
Oh, excuse me.
Are you getting off?
229
00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:49,722
Dr. fingers, please
report to proctology.
230
00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:51,057
Dr. fingers...
231
00:12:51,078 --> 00:12:52,120
Oh, doctor...
Dr. hackett?
232
00:12:52,141 --> 00:12:54,894
Uh, no.
I'm not a doctor.
233
00:12:54,915 --> 00:12:56,687
But I do play one
on television.
234
00:12:56,708 --> 00:12:59,795
That's why I recommend
new buffer caps
235
00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:01,390
For fast-acting,
long relief.
236
00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:04,779
You're lucky, Rick.
Not many amputees
237
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,240
Are fortunate enough
to receive a transplanted arm.
238
00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,075
I know, but it's too
bad that wrestler
239
00:13:09,096 --> 00:13:10,378
Had to die
for me to get it.
240
00:13:10,399 --> 00:13:12,380
Call for Dr. hackett!
241
00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:13,819
Uh-oh. Got to go.
242
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,914
See you in rehab.
243
00:13:14,935 --> 00:13:16,384
Sure doc.
Uhh!
244
00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:24,934
Oh, hello,
Dr. hackett.
245
00:13:24,955 --> 00:13:27,228
Hello, Nancy.
Long time, no see.
246
00:13:27,249 --> 00:13:29,898
So, uh, what seems
to be your problem?
247
00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:32,869
Something came over me
last night.
248
00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:36,978
I just felt such...
Incredible anger.
249
00:13:37,009 --> 00:13:38,813
Then, suddenly,
I vomited on my family.
250
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,420
Hmm.
251
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,858
Smooth or chunky?
252
00:13:42,879 --> 00:13:44,683
Uh, smooth.
253
00:13:44,714 --> 00:13:46,727
Oh, doctor,
what could it be?
254
00:13:46,748 --> 00:13:48,958
Possibly the flu.
I just had
255
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:50,971
A couple of cases
of it come in today.
256
00:13:50,992 --> 00:13:52,431
I must admit
that hospitals
257
00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:54,130
Have always
frightened me.
258
00:13:54,161 --> 00:13:57,237
Nancy, relax. Relax.
259
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,941
Hmm...
260
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,310
Hmm...
261
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:11,387
Hmm...
262
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,493
So, what's wrong
with me?
263
00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:16,997
Well, in a nutshell,
I took a survey
264
00:14:17,018 --> 00:14:18,498
Of all the doctors
gathered here.
265
00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:20,167
When I tallied
their opinions,
266
00:14:20,187 --> 00:14:21,699
The survey said...
267
00:14:21,699 --> 00:14:21,710
Good answer!
The survey said...
268
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,034
Good answer!
269
00:14:23,055 --> 00:14:24,202
Good answer!
270
00:14:24,223 --> 00:14:27,038
Good answer!
271
00:14:27,069 --> 00:14:30,510
Oh, dear lord, why?
272
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:34,347
I mean, after my exorcism,
I-I've strived to lead
273
00:14:34,368 --> 00:14:37,517
A good, clean,
decent life.
274
00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:40,520
I haven't done anything
morally wrong.
275
00:14:40,552 --> 00:14:44,399
Oh, except watch
that rob lowe video.
276
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,005
Just give me a sign.
277
00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:00,050
♪ hallelujah
278
00:15:00,082 --> 00:15:02,813
Oh, that's it!
279
00:15:02,845 --> 00:15:05,222
♪ hallelujah
280
00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:09,059
Nancy reached out
for the guidance of God.
281
00:15:09,091 --> 00:15:11,395
She discovered that
she was not the only one
282
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,199
Walking the streets
in search of the path
283
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:15,243
Of penitence and truth.
284
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:18,235
God comforts even
the lowliest of them,
285
00:15:18,266 --> 00:15:21,478
Even though they lack
any shred of intelligence.
286
00:15:21,499 --> 00:15:23,209
The name's north, ma'am.
287
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,054
I have a reservation.
288
00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:27,380
Let's see...
Uh, yes. Mr. north.
289
00:15:27,401 --> 00:15:28,923
How long has it been
290
00:15:28,944 --> 00:15:29,882
Since your last
confession?
291
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:35,294
I don't recall,
counsel.
292
00:15:35,315 --> 00:15:36,493
Ok, uh, please
follow me.
293
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,237
It was here she met
father Luke brophy...
294
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:43,510
A dedicated young priest.
295
00:15:43,531 --> 00:15:46,107
He who gives of himself
296
00:15:46,128 --> 00:15:48,953
To someone
other than himself
297
00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:51,977
Will find that
he shall receive
298
00:15:52,008 --> 00:15:54,355
From that someone...
299
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:57,118
Something
that... that...
300
00:15:57,139 --> 00:16:00,892
Someone
other than he...
301
00:16:00,924 --> 00:16:02,258
Uh... Wait, um...
302
00:16:02,279 --> 00:16:04,604
Ok, he...
303
00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:08,337
Shall receive
that which he gave.
304
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,975
Of himself, which,
305
00:16:10,996 --> 00:16:12,550
Uh...
306
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,615
I said he was dedicated.
307
00:16:15,636 --> 00:16:18,483
I did not say
he was articulate.
308
00:16:18,504 --> 00:16:20,245
Look, just be good
to each other.
309
00:16:20,276 --> 00:16:21,851
Ohh!
310
00:16:21,851 --> 00:16:21,861
With that in mind,
Ohh!
311
00:16:21,861 --> 00:16:23,415
With that in mind,
312
00:16:23,446 --> 00:16:25,292
I will now ask
our ushers
313
00:16:25,323 --> 00:16:27,294
To please pass around
the donation basket.
314
00:16:27,315 --> 00:16:28,555
Our church thanks you.
315
00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:32,330
Father brophy
was a man of integrity.
316
00:16:32,361 --> 00:16:34,666
A man dedicated
to his beliefs.
317
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:38,472
A man about 5' 10"
in his stocking feet.
318
00:16:38,492 --> 00:16:40,213
It was father Luke
319
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,184
Who would make me
once again come face-to-face
320
00:16:42,204 --> 00:16:46,010
With my nightmares,
and would introduce me
321
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:49,649
To some very interesting
Armenian food.
322
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,193
As a matter of fact,
it was at the dinner table
323
00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:54,561
That he heard his brother
say, "Luke..."
324
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,968
Always wipe the rim."
325
00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:13,183
Sister brothers...
326
00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:14,695
Excuse me, father.
327
00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:16,520
While tallying
the donations,
328
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,063
I came upon this note
329
00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:19,523
With your name
written on it.
330
00:17:19,554 --> 00:17:20,618
Thank you.
331
00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:25,508
Father mayii?
332
00:17:25,529 --> 00:17:26,499
Yes, yes?
333
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,230
Is it true that
priests and nuns
334
00:17:28,261 --> 00:17:29,971
Have orgies
in the Vatican?
335
00:17:29,992 --> 00:17:30,680
What?
336
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:36,550
Father Luke suffered from
the burden of self-doubt,
337
00:17:36,571 --> 00:17:39,084
Always questioning himself.
338
00:17:39,105 --> 00:17:42,192
Was he good enough
to be a priest?
339
00:17:42,212 --> 00:17:43,714
Should he have been
a rabbi instead?
340
00:17:43,745 --> 00:17:46,258
After all, they do
have Sundays off.
341
00:17:46,279 --> 00:17:48,698
And the question that
nagged him the most...
342
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:52,327
Why weren't there any
Japanese players in the nba?
343
00:17:52,358 --> 00:17:54,433
Was it the hand
of the almighty
344
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:56,404
That drew Luke
to the phone that night?
345
00:17:58,437 --> 00:18:00,116
Or had he just forgotten
346
00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:02,086
To leave his answering
machine on again?
347
00:18:02,107 --> 00:18:03,442
Hello?
348
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:06,289
Father brophy?
Hi. This is Nancy aglet.
349
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:07,759
I'm the one that
left you that note today.
350
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,625
That's so strange.
351
00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:11,127
I was just about
to phone you.
352
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:12,451
I hope I'm not
disturbing you.
353
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,453
I looked your name up
in the phone book.
354
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:15,600
That's ok.
Now, what's this
355
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,268
About your having
a religious problem?
356
00:18:18,457 --> 00:18:19,771
Honey...
357
00:18:19,792 --> 00:18:21,773
Oh, sorry. Have you seen
my nose hair clippers?
358
00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:23,712
Um, they're
in the, uh, cabinet.
359
00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:28,780
Listen, I really can't
talk about this over the phone.
360
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:30,782
Is it possible you could
come over tonight,
361
00:18:30,803 --> 00:18:32,377
So we could
speak privately?
362
00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:35,057
Uh, well, you see,
it's my, uh...
363
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:37,591
Please, father.
It's very, very serious.
364
00:18:37,612 --> 00:18:39,468
Sure. Where
do you live?
365
00:18:39,488 --> 00:18:43,638
I live at 733 sex drive.
366
00:18:43,659 --> 00:18:46,162
Thank you.
Good-bye.
367
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,100
Good-bye.
368
00:18:55,338 --> 00:18:56,318
Hey, let's play
369
00:18:56,339 --> 00:18:58,382
With the mystic
spirit board, ok?
370
00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:01,114
Enter, please.
371
00:19:05,285 --> 00:19:07,496
Well, welcome,
father.
372
00:19:07,516 --> 00:19:08,330
I'm Braydon aglet.
373
00:19:08,351 --> 00:19:09,706
Hello.
374
00:19:09,717 --> 00:19:11,197
And these are my
children ned and frieda.
375
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,469
- Hi.
- Hi.
376
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:13,877
Come on, dad,
let's play!
377
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:16,202
Come on, dad,
please, let's play.
378
00:19:16,234 --> 00:19:17,704
In a second.
379
00:19:17,735 --> 00:19:19,216
Nancy said you'd
be dropping by.
380
00:19:19,237 --> 00:19:20,519
Something about her
doing some work
381
00:19:20,529 --> 00:19:21,739
With the church?
382
00:19:21,770 --> 00:19:24,283
Uh, something
like that, yes.
383
00:19:24,304 --> 00:19:25,712
What should we
ask it first, dad?
384
00:19:25,743 --> 00:19:28,225
Oh, well, uh... Well,
there's something
385
00:19:28,246 --> 00:19:30,227
I've always wanted
to ask.
386
00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:31,853
Will Ted Kennedy
ever become president?
387
00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:45,784
Ho ho ho! I guess
not, eh, kids?
388
00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:47,577
Braydon,
I thought we'd spoken
389
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:49,350
About using that thing
in this house.
390
00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:52,217
I never want to see that
thing in this house again!
391
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:59,162
Ohh! Oh, I'm so sorry!
392
00:19:59,183 --> 00:20:00,319
Ohh...
393
00:20:00,351 --> 00:20:03,593
Father, maybe we could...
394
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,762
Go in the other room
and speak privately?
395
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:06,836
Sure.
396
00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:10,840
It was... it was very
nice meeting you.
397
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,454
I-I assume you don't
want your family
398
00:20:20,475 --> 00:20:21,455
Knowing about this.
399
00:20:21,476 --> 00:20:22,154
No, I don't.
400
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:22,164
No one knows what
happened to me in my past.
No, I don't.
401
00:20:22,164 --> 00:20:25,793
No one knows what
happened to me in my past.
402
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:28,233
And what I believe is
happening to me now.
403
00:20:28,253 --> 00:20:29,901
Ok, and what exactly
is that?
404
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,708
I believe I'm being
possessed by the devil.
405
00:20:34,739 --> 00:20:36,679
The devil?
406
00:20:38,962 --> 00:20:41,319
Mrs. aglet, are you
under any kind
407
00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:43,581
Of psychiatric care
at all?
408
00:20:43,602 --> 00:20:46,313
I once gave my word
never to show anyone
409
00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:47,752
What you are
about to see.
410
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:00,901
High school
debating champion?
411
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,817
Papal seal
of possession?
412
00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:15,290
Signed by the pope.
413
00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:17,928
Mrs...
414
00:21:20,389 --> 00:21:21,870
Mrs. aglet,
I apologize,
415
00:21:21,890 --> 00:21:23,799
But I guess
I've always felt
416
00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:26,009
That these stories
of demonic possession
417
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:28,303
Were nothing more
than religious folklore.
418
00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:32,547
Why did you call me?
Why didn't you contact
419
00:21:32,568 --> 00:21:34,716
The exorcist... father magi?
420
00:21:34,737 --> 00:21:35,915
Mayii. Father
Jedediah mayii.
421
00:21:38,511 --> 00:21:40,690
Well, they say he
retired from the church
422
00:21:40,711 --> 00:21:42,818
Right after
my exorcism.
423
00:21:42,849 --> 00:21:45,695
What makes you think that
you're being possessed again?
424
00:21:47,927 --> 00:21:50,867
Satan's spirit flew
right out of my TV set
425
00:21:50,899 --> 00:21:52,901
And into my soul.
426
00:21:54,569 --> 00:21:56,070
Ok...
427
00:21:56,091 --> 00:21:57,874
Oh, no, I know it
sounds crazy,
428
00:21:57,895 --> 00:22:00,721
But it must be true.
429
00:22:00,742 --> 00:22:02,817
Father,
please help me.
430
00:22:02,838 --> 00:22:05,413
Please!
431
00:22:05,444 --> 00:22:07,415
I'll do
whatever I can.
432
00:22:07,446 --> 00:22:09,386
Here...
433
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,731
Take this.
434
00:22:10,752 --> 00:22:12,358
It might help.
435
00:22:23,661 --> 00:22:26,611
Uh, I, uh...
436
00:22:26,632 --> 00:22:29,416
I got to go now, ok?
437
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,919
You're not going
anywhere, scuzzball!
438
00:22:33,910 --> 00:22:36,392
Ah ha ha ha ha!
439
00:22:41,825 --> 00:22:43,097
Ha ha ha ha!
440
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:46,569
This blood is mine!
441
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,811
Do you understand?
The blood is mine!
442
00:22:48,832 --> 00:22:51,814
Dad! Mom's humping
the priest!
443
00:22:51,845 --> 00:22:52,877
Die! Die!
444
00:22:52,898 --> 00:22:54,879
Holy...
445
00:22:54,911 --> 00:22:55,953
Honey...
446
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:58,518
Die, you slug!
447
00:22:58,539 --> 00:22:59,926
Die!
448
00:23:01,855 --> 00:23:02,793
Here's the, uh, camera,
449
00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:05,630
And the cassette recorder
that you asked for.
450
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:06,829
Thank you.
451
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:08,507
Father, what's
going on here?
452
00:23:08,528 --> 00:23:11,166
I mean, we just had to tie
my wife down to the bed.
453
00:23:11,198 --> 00:23:13,877
I've never done anything
like that before in my life.
454
00:23:13,898 --> 00:23:15,504
Well, except
that one time
455
00:23:15,535 --> 00:23:16,974
When the kids
were away at camp.
456
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,476
Mr. aglet...
457
00:23:18,507 --> 00:23:20,019
I don't know what's
wrong with your wife,
458
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,051
But I'll certainly
do all I can
459
00:23:21,072 --> 00:23:22,386
To find out.
460
00:23:56,712 --> 00:23:57,932
Hello, Nancy.
461
00:24:03,594 --> 00:24:05,210
I must say, you
certainly don't look
462
00:24:05,231 --> 00:24:07,243
Anything like you did
a few minutes ago.
463
00:24:07,264 --> 00:24:08,943
I am the devil!
464
00:24:10,570 --> 00:24:12,916
Well...
465
00:24:12,936 --> 00:24:14,907
I guess that means
that you and I have gone
466
00:24:14,938 --> 00:24:17,055
From being friends
to being enemies.
467
00:24:17,076 --> 00:24:20,152
I am far more powerful
than you can ever imagine.
468
00:24:20,183 --> 00:24:22,164
Maybe...
469
00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:28,608
However, you are
but one being.
470
00:24:28,629 --> 00:24:32,977
I represent the belief
of far more people.
471
00:24:32,998 --> 00:24:34,781
Did you know that
the Christian religion
472
00:24:34,802 --> 00:24:36,877
Has over
a billion followers?
473
00:24:36,898 --> 00:24:40,078
Big deal. So does
the wheel of fortune.
474
00:24:40,109 --> 00:24:43,915
So, don't try to impress me
with numbers.
475
00:24:43,936 --> 00:24:46,960
I hate all forms
of religion.
476
00:24:46,981 --> 00:24:50,130
And I hate all who
do not bow in my presence,
477
00:24:50,151 --> 00:24:52,299
No matter if they call
themselves a baptist,
478
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,905
A protestant, a catholic,
or a Jew!
479
00:24:53,925 --> 00:24:55,771
Oh, God bless you.
480
00:24:55,792 --> 00:24:56,908
Silence!
481
00:24:56,918 --> 00:24:59,671
Watch yourself, boy.
482
00:24:59,692 --> 00:25:02,142
The last collar jockey
who screwed with me
483
00:25:02,163 --> 00:25:04,644
Ended up with
a dislocated shoulder.
484
00:25:04,676 --> 00:25:06,584
You can't frighten me.
485
00:25:09,149 --> 00:25:10,755
They found it
in Baltimore.
486
00:25:12,715 --> 00:25:14,091
By the way...
487
00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,000
How would you like
a little souvenir
488
00:25:16,020 --> 00:25:17,929
From my last conquest?
489
00:25:19,993 --> 00:25:22,527
Father brophy,
490
00:25:22,527 --> 00:25:22,537
Meet father mayii.
Father brophy,
491
00:25:22,537 --> 00:25:24,268
Meet father mayii.
492
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:26,666
I never thought that
looked like me. I-i...
493
00:25:26,698 --> 00:25:28,168
Does that look like me?
494
00:25:28,199 --> 00:25:30,806
I think it looks more
like Phil donahue.
495
00:25:30,827 --> 00:25:33,017
You silly,
weak fool!
496
00:25:33,037 --> 00:25:34,852
Putting so much faith
497
00:25:34,873 --> 00:25:37,156
In a God you've
never even seen before.
498
00:25:37,177 --> 00:25:38,355
I don't need
to see him,
499
00:25:38,376 --> 00:25:40,326
For the Bible says
that God created man
500
00:25:40,347 --> 00:25:41,629
In his own image.
501
00:25:41,650 --> 00:25:43,329
Oh, yeah.
502
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:46,040
Then how do you explain
pee-wee Herman?
503
00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:47,792
All right...
504
00:25:50,054 --> 00:25:52,182
If you really
are the devil,
505
00:25:52,202 --> 00:25:54,309
Then why don't
you prove it?
506
00:25:56,238 --> 00:25:59,147
How about you do
something supernatural?
507
00:26:01,973 --> 00:26:04,892
Not impressed, huh?
508
00:26:04,913 --> 00:26:07,363
Well, how about
if I...
509
00:26:07,384 --> 00:26:09,657
Make the film break?
510
00:26:14,819 --> 00:26:17,207
Oh. Of... of course
I love you. Yeah.
511
00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:19,375
This evening, 8:30.
512
00:26:19,396 --> 00:26:20,908
Tonight? No, no.
513
00:26:20,939 --> 00:26:22,618
No feathers. We'll use
the whole chicken.
514
00:26:27,279 --> 00:26:28,718
Ahem.
515
00:26:28,749 --> 00:26:31,888
Father brophy
was very disturbed.
516
00:26:39,187 --> 00:26:40,772
So, father,
what happened?
517
00:26:42,127 --> 00:26:43,671
It may sound
unbelievable,
518
00:26:43,691 --> 00:26:45,308
But my guess
is that Nancy is...
519
00:26:51,439 --> 00:26:53,055
Possessed
by the devil.
520
00:26:53,076 --> 00:26:54,317
Yeah, I knew it!
521
00:26:54,348 --> 00:26:55,328
He said
it's only a guess!
522
00:26:55,349 --> 00:26:57,351
I still say
it's p.M.S.
523
00:26:57,372 --> 00:27:00,729
As father brophy drove
from the aglet home,
524
00:27:00,750 --> 00:27:03,221
A great fear welled up
within him
525
00:27:03,253 --> 00:27:05,067
Like a big sneeze.
526
00:27:05,088 --> 00:27:06,266
You feel it build,
527
00:27:06,287 --> 00:27:07,768
But you know you can't stop it
528
00:27:07,788 --> 00:27:09,707
Without making your ears plug up
529
00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:11,938
And a bubble come out
of your nose.
530
00:27:11,959 --> 00:27:13,409
How could he,
531
00:27:13,429 --> 00:27:15,776
A young, inexperienced priest,
532
00:27:15,796 --> 00:27:18,883
Do battle alone
with the dark lord himself?
533
00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:20,979
Then, it came to him
534
00:27:21,010 --> 00:27:22,678
Like a sign from heaven.
535
00:27:22,678 --> 00:27:22,689
Like a sign from heaven.
536
00:27:24,284 --> 00:27:25,796
Hey, hey!
537
00:27:25,817 --> 00:27:27,423
I can't see nothing!
What are you doing up there?
538
00:27:27,454 --> 00:27:28,424
What's going on?
539
00:27:28,455 --> 00:27:30,394
Is that you?
Hey, get up!
540
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:34,336
The young priest
had read about
541
00:27:34,357 --> 00:27:37,808
The exorcism I had performed
in 1973
542
00:27:37,829 --> 00:27:41,405
As well as my 17-year
decline into oblivion.
543
00:27:41,437 --> 00:27:43,178
But he tried to call me anyway.
544
00:27:49,007 --> 00:27:52,156
Strangely, my number
kept ringing busy.
545
00:27:52,177 --> 00:27:55,159
Was it Satan's trickery at work?
546
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:58,057
Or was it just my party line?
547
00:28:01,832 --> 00:28:03,876
If he had reached me,
548
00:28:03,897 --> 00:28:05,846
I would have told him
not to come.
549
00:28:05,867 --> 00:28:08,245
I was weak and tired,
550
00:28:08,266 --> 00:28:10,914
Listless, out of sorts, and...
551
00:28:10,935 --> 00:28:13,489
My stools were a little loose.
552
00:28:19,475 --> 00:28:20,497
Sister, I'm looking
for the room...
553
00:28:20,517 --> 00:28:22,227
Hold out your hands.
554
00:28:22,259 --> 00:28:23,927
Excuse me?
555
00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:25,502
Hold out your hands.
556
00:28:29,026 --> 00:28:30,569
Ow!
557
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,404
Don't run
in the hallways!
558
00:28:34,844 --> 00:28:36,846
Now, what do you need?
559
00:28:36,867 --> 00:28:39,880
Which room is father
Jedediah mayii in?
560
00:28:39,912 --> 00:28:41,246
Upstairs on the left.
561
00:28:41,267 --> 00:28:42,519
Thank you.
562
00:28:44,416 --> 00:28:45,365
Ah-ah-ah!
563
00:28:50,954 --> 00:28:52,403
Ow!
564
00:28:54,395 --> 00:28:56,209
A fierce tornado smashed its way
565
00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:57,179
Through an unpopulated,
566
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,910
Uninhabited stretch
of barren desert today...
567
00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:01,173
Causing no noticeable damage
568
00:29:01,193 --> 00:29:02,174
To an unspecified...
569
00:29:08,044 --> 00:29:08,993
Yes?
570
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,119
Who is it?
571
00:29:11,308 --> 00:29:12,622
Father mayii?
572
00:29:12,653 --> 00:29:15,030
Yes, you may.
573
00:29:15,051 --> 00:29:17,157
Father,
I'm father Luke brophy
574
00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:18,930
From our lady
of the evening.
575
00:29:18,961 --> 00:29:21,036
I'm terribly sorry
for coming by so late,
576
00:29:21,057 --> 00:29:22,830
But there's someone who
desperately needs you,
577
00:29:22,830 --> 00:29:22,840
Someone you helped
a long time ago.
But there's someone who
desperately needs you,
578
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,103
Someone you helped
a long time ago.
579
00:29:25,134 --> 00:29:26,917
Someone I helped
a long time ago?
580
00:29:26,938 --> 00:29:28,116
Who?
581
00:29:28,137 --> 00:29:29,180
Nancy aglet.
582
00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:30,514
I don't, uh...
583
00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:31,985
Recall the name.
584
00:29:32,006 --> 00:29:33,580
Well, then maybe you'll
recall her exorcism.
585
00:29:34,977 --> 00:29:36,281
Oh, good lord.
586
00:29:36,312 --> 00:29:38,324
Oh!
587
00:29:38,345 --> 00:29:42,026
Little Nancy velsmo.
588
00:29:42,047 --> 00:29:44,998
Oh, that poor child.
589
00:29:45,029 --> 00:29:46,166
That poor child.
590
00:29:46,186 --> 00:29:48,595
She barely survived
the exorcism,
591
00:29:48,626 --> 00:29:50,065
As did I.
592
00:29:50,097 --> 00:29:53,308
And you say that
she needs my help?
593
00:29:53,329 --> 00:29:55,237
I think Nancy has been...
594
00:30:00,242 --> 00:30:01,118
Repossessed.
595
00:30:02,317 --> 00:30:04,121
Repossessed?
596
00:30:11,222 --> 00:30:12,265
Repossessed?
597
00:30:12,285 --> 00:30:14,141
How can you be sure?
598
00:30:14,152 --> 00:30:16,404
She's displaying
all the main traits...
599
00:30:16,425 --> 00:30:18,573
An ungodly voice,
600
00:30:18,594 --> 00:30:20,210
Maniacal
facial expressions,
601
00:30:20,241 --> 00:30:21,409
Violent spasms...
602
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:22,911
But that doesn't
prove a thing.
603
00:30:22,911 --> 00:30:22,921
She could be
related to Joe cocker.
But that doesn't
prove a thing.
604
00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:25,486
She could be
related to Joe cocker.
605
00:30:25,507 --> 00:30:27,353
No.
606
00:30:27,384 --> 00:30:29,459
Could it be
she has p.M.S.?
607
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,158
Father, I've seen her!
608
00:30:31,179 --> 00:30:32,159
She's suffering
609
00:30:32,180 --> 00:30:33,630
From something unholy.
610
00:30:33,650 --> 00:30:35,402
Satan has taken
her soul again!
611
00:30:35,423 --> 00:30:36,497
You have to help her!
612
00:30:36,518 --> 00:30:37,727
I can't.
613
00:30:37,748 --> 00:30:38,728
But you must!
614
00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:40,574
I can't!
615
00:30:40,595 --> 00:30:42,743
I said it, damn you.
616
00:30:44,130 --> 00:30:45,110
Father,
are you all right?
617
00:30:45,131 --> 00:30:46,549
It's my heart.
618
00:30:46,570 --> 00:30:49,719
It began at Nancy's exorcism.
619
00:30:49,739 --> 00:30:51,741
That's why
I can't help you.
620
00:30:51,773 --> 00:30:54,213
If Satan should find me
in this weakened condition,
621
00:30:54,244 --> 00:30:55,683
He could take
possession of my soul
622
00:30:55,714 --> 00:30:57,456
And become even stronger.
623
00:30:57,476 --> 00:30:59,353
But if you can't
help her, who can?
624
00:30:59,374 --> 00:31:00,459
I don't know.
625
00:31:00,490 --> 00:31:01,460
I don't.
626
00:31:01,491 --> 00:31:04,431
I don't.
627
00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:07,601
But... good lord, yes!
628
00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,770
You could do it.
629
00:31:09,791 --> 00:31:12,179
You're young.
You're strong.
630
00:31:13,701 --> 00:31:15,338
Luke...
631
00:31:15,369 --> 00:31:17,184
It is your destiny.
632
00:31:17,204 --> 00:31:18,487
There's no way.
633
00:31:18,508 --> 00:31:22,199
You see, there's something
that I haven't told you.
634
00:31:22,209 --> 00:31:22,981
I think I've
lost my faith.
635
00:31:22,981 --> 00:31:22,991
Luke!
I think I've
lost my faith.
636
00:31:22,991 --> 00:31:25,066
Luke!
637
00:31:25,087 --> 00:31:27,621
I never want to hear you
638
00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:29,634
Say anything
like that again.
639
00:31:32,188 --> 00:31:34,169
Now, why...
640
00:31:34,201 --> 00:31:36,641
Why don't you...
641
00:31:36,672 --> 00:31:40,311
Look at it like this.
642
00:31:40,342 --> 00:31:43,575
Maybe this is God's way
of reaffirming your faith.
643
00:31:43,606 --> 00:31:45,691
While you're
saving Nancy's soul,
644
00:31:45,712 --> 00:31:48,517
You're also saving your own
soul at the same time.
645
00:31:48,538 --> 00:31:50,759
After all, God does work
in strange ways, doesn't he?
646
00:31:50,780 --> 00:31:53,063
Yes. Yes, he does.
647
00:31:53,084 --> 00:31:55,065
Good.
648
00:31:58,621 --> 00:32:00,404
You've given me a lot
to think about, father.
649
00:32:00,425 --> 00:32:02,333
Good night, and, uh...
650
00:32:02,364 --> 00:32:03,542
God bless you.
651
00:32:03,563 --> 00:32:04,804
God bless you, son.
652
00:32:06,639 --> 00:32:08,516
Now, you have a great
deal of work to do.
653
00:32:10,372 --> 00:32:11,644
And Luke...
654
00:32:11,676 --> 00:32:13,719
May the faith be with you.
655
00:32:21,550 --> 00:32:23,062
This just in.
656
00:32:23,062 --> 00:32:23,072
Father mayii has once again
- This just in.
657
00:32:23,072 --> 00:32:25,804
Father mayii has once again
658
00:32:25,825 --> 00:32:29,110
Wormed his way out of
yet another exorcism.
659
00:32:31,602 --> 00:32:34,282
Father mayii.
660
00:32:34,302 --> 00:32:35,679
Yes?
661
00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:38,619
Wasn't it hard to...
To live with yourself
662
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,652
After completely
wimping out
663
00:32:40,673 --> 00:32:42,759
And allowing a wuss
like father Luke
664
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:45,167
To go up against Satan
all by himself?
665
00:32:45,188 --> 00:32:46,721
I mean, didn't
you feel like
666
00:32:46,752 --> 00:32:48,827
A complete piece
of gutless, spineless,
667
00:32:48,859 --> 00:32:50,537
Primordial slime?
668
00:32:53,759 --> 00:32:55,376
Next question.
669
00:32:55,396 --> 00:32:59,213
Luke knew little
about the ritual of exorcism,
670
00:32:59,244 --> 00:33:00,777
So he arranged for a meeting
671
00:33:00,798 --> 00:33:03,477
With the supreme council
for exorcism grantings.
672
00:33:07,388 --> 00:33:09,661
You looking for father Luke?
673
00:33:12,226 --> 00:33:13,529
Wrong window.
674
00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:15,761
He's 4 windows
to your right.
675
00:33:20,630 --> 00:33:23,132
His stomach was acting
up like a schnauzer in heat.
676
00:33:23,132 --> 00:33:23,143
Would they believe him?
His stomach was acting
up like a schnauzer in heat.
677
00:33:23,143 --> 00:33:25,802
Would they believe him?
678
00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:27,512
Would they mock him?
679
00:33:27,543 --> 00:33:29,743
Would they validate his parking?
680
00:33:31,339 --> 00:33:33,664
He turned to the good book
for comfort.
681
00:33:45,363 --> 00:33:46,374
Father brophy?
682
00:33:46,395 --> 00:33:47,501
Please come in.
683
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,640
Father brophy,
I am father Crosby.
684
00:33:51,661 --> 00:33:53,882
Father stills...
685
00:33:53,903 --> 00:33:55,686
Father Nash...
686
00:33:55,707 --> 00:33:56,958
And father young.
687
00:34:02,974 --> 00:34:04,497
♪ I'm gonna tell you all
688
00:34:04,518 --> 00:34:06,363
♪ about a mother who's fly
689
00:34:06,384 --> 00:34:07,698
♪ I'm talkin' 'bout
my home boy ♪
690
00:34:07,719 --> 00:34:08,772
♪ father mayii
691
00:34:08,793 --> 00:34:10,263
♪ he cast out the devil
692
00:34:10,294 --> 00:34:11,639
♪ and he didn't even yell
693
00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:12,745
♪ and now the fool is coolin'
694
00:34:12,755 --> 00:34:13,944
♪ in a place called hell
695
00:34:13,954 --> 00:34:15,476
♪ all the catholics
in the house ♪
696
00:34:15,497 --> 00:34:16,384
♪ say ho-o
697
00:34:16,404 --> 00:34:17,875
Ho-o!
698
00:34:23,213 --> 00:34:24,757
Does anyone know where...
699
00:34:24,777 --> 00:34:26,550
Oh, there you are, Ernest.
700
00:34:26,581 --> 00:34:30,658
I'm sure you know Ernest
and Fanny rae weller.
701
00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:32,400
Hello.
Hello!
702
00:34:33,422 --> 00:34:35,966
Oh, foo-foo
says hello, too!
703
00:34:35,987 --> 00:34:38,531
Hi, foo-foo!
704
00:34:39,699 --> 00:34:41,409
Sit, sit,
sit, sit, sit.
705
00:34:41,430 --> 00:34:43,306
With all due
respect, father,
706
00:34:43,338 --> 00:34:44,745
What are they doing here?
707
00:34:44,766 --> 00:34:46,747
The wellers are our guests.
708
00:34:46,768 --> 00:34:49,490
It's all part of the
interfaith exchange program
709
00:34:49,511 --> 00:34:50,887
The church has adopted.
710
00:34:50,908 --> 00:34:52,388
I see.
711
00:34:52,409 --> 00:34:54,286
We understand that you are
presenting evidence
712
00:34:54,307 --> 00:34:57,560
Regarding possible
demonic possession.
713
00:34:57,581 --> 00:34:58,457
Please begin.
714
00:35:09,468 --> 00:35:11,814
♪ I was minding my business
715
00:35:11,835 --> 00:35:14,390
♪ when the devil
walked in on me ♪
716
00:35:14,410 --> 00:35:15,745
♪ waving his hands, said
717
00:35:15,776 --> 00:35:17,758
♪ come on, just follow me
718
00:35:17,778 --> 00:35:19,989
♪ so i... i looked him
in the eyes ♪
719
00:35:20,010 --> 00:35:22,356
♪ and I showed him to the door
720
00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:23,284
♪ and I told him to get lost
721
00:35:23,284 --> 00:35:23,294
♪ 'cause I've been there
once before ♪
♪ and I told him to get lost
722
00:35:23,294 --> 00:35:25,401
♪ 'cause I've been there
once before ♪
723
00:35:25,421 --> 00:35:26,402
♪ don't wanna be
724
00:35:26,422 --> 00:35:27,695
♪ re-re-re
725
00:35:27,715 --> 00:35:30,072
♪ repossessed
726
00:35:30,093 --> 00:35:31,699
♪ re-re-re
727
00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:32,710
♪ repossessed
728
00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:34,514
And for these reasons...
729
00:35:34,535 --> 00:35:36,912
I feel an exorcism
is warranted.
730
00:35:36,933 --> 00:35:38,841
Do you have
any further information
731
00:35:38,872 --> 00:35:41,083
That we might
want to consider?
732
00:35:41,104 --> 00:35:43,648
Did I mention that
Mrs. aglet also...
733
00:35:43,669 --> 00:35:44,649
Gave me a little head?
734
00:35:51,917 --> 00:35:54,534
I pray you grant
this exorcism.
735
00:35:54,555 --> 00:35:55,670
If I may...
736
00:35:58,402 --> 00:36:01,510
It is my opinion that
he has indeed proved
737
00:36:01,530 --> 00:36:04,679
That an exorcism
is necessary.
738
00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:06,577
Furthermore...
739
00:36:06,608 --> 00:36:09,518
Why don't we televise
this exorcism?
740
00:36:09,538 --> 00:36:10,790
Hmm.
741
00:36:18,422 --> 00:36:19,402
Come on.
742
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,442
Well, Mr. financial
advisor.
743
00:36:27,463 --> 00:36:29,100
What do you think
of my plan?
744
00:36:29,131 --> 00:36:31,143
Ever since your little
midnight liaisons
745
00:36:31,164 --> 00:36:33,719
With that boy's choir
went public,
746
00:36:33,740 --> 00:36:36,513
The ministry's contributions
have gone down dramatically.
747
00:36:36,545 --> 00:36:39,954
Your plan better net
$6 million in 2 weeks,
748
00:36:39,975 --> 00:36:40,987
Because if it doesn't,
749
00:36:41,018 --> 00:36:43,760
The word on the street is...
750
00:36:43,791 --> 00:36:46,899
Your ministry is history.
751
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,598
Aaron, why don't
you just...
752
00:36:48,619 --> 00:36:49,902
Lighten up.
753
00:36:51,664 --> 00:36:52,707
Come on, now,
754
00:36:52,727 --> 00:36:54,469
Go get the ball
from daddy.
755
00:36:54,500 --> 00:36:55,814
Come on!
Ha ha!
756
00:36:57,034 --> 00:36:59,109
Oh, no... Oh...
Oh, Ernest!
757
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:02,456
Look what I did
to my new dress!
758
00:37:02,477 --> 00:37:06,460
And do you know how much
this cost our followers?
759
00:37:06,481 --> 00:37:08,858
Oh, no, just
look at this mess.
760
00:37:08,889 --> 00:37:09,651
What am I gonna do?
761
00:37:13,790 --> 00:37:15,198
Foo-foo?
762
00:37:15,229 --> 00:37:16,939
Foo-foo!
763
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,973
Ernie, where's foo-foo?
764
00:37:22,830 --> 00:37:25,708
Bye, foo-foo!
765
00:37:25,740 --> 00:37:27,575
So, Mr. weller.
766
00:37:27,617 --> 00:37:29,921
They say you have a great
idea for my network.
767
00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:31,256
Well, Mr. tartastein,
768
00:37:31,287 --> 00:37:33,623
This special
is called...
769
00:37:33,654 --> 00:37:36,125
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight.
770
00:37:36,156 --> 00:37:38,033
It will be
broadcast live
771
00:37:38,054 --> 00:37:40,703
Throughout the entire
world via satellite.
772
00:37:40,723 --> 00:37:43,069
It will air continuously
until the final outcome.
773
00:37:43,090 --> 00:37:45,071
All the
commercial proceeds
774
00:37:45,092 --> 00:37:46,677
Go to your network.
775
00:37:46,698 --> 00:37:48,648
And all
the phone donations
776
00:37:48,669 --> 00:37:49,878
Come to my ministry.
777
00:37:51,641 --> 00:37:52,986
You don't mind
doing business
778
00:37:53,007 --> 00:37:54,644
With the devil, do you,
Mr. tartastein?
779
00:37:54,675 --> 00:37:55,989
Ha. Are you kidding?
780
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,886
How do you think love boat
got on the air?
781
00:37:58,950 --> 00:38:01,056
So, do we have a deal?
782
00:38:01,077 --> 00:38:02,829
We have a deal.
783
00:38:02,850 --> 00:38:04,998
May Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight
784
00:38:05,019 --> 00:38:08,199
Be this network's
biggest ratings bonanza!
785
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:16,040
Father mayii?
786
00:38:16,071 --> 00:38:17,281
Yes?
787
00:38:17,302 --> 00:38:18,814
Have you adhered
strictly
788
00:38:18,834 --> 00:38:20,659
To your vow of celibacy?
789
00:38:20,670 --> 00:38:21,817
Yes, I have.
790
00:38:21,848 --> 00:38:23,516
Me, too.
791
00:38:23,516 --> 00:38:23,527
I'm not surprised.
Me, too.
792
00:38:23,527 --> 00:38:25,153
I'm not surprised.
793
00:38:25,174 --> 00:38:27,624
Mine was by choice.
794
00:38:30,586 --> 00:38:31,597
Mrs. aglet?
795
00:38:34,183 --> 00:38:36,039
Heh heh.
796
00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:37,968
Hear my words,
demon.
797
00:38:37,999 --> 00:38:40,815
I will cast thee from
this poor woman's soul,
798
00:38:40,825 --> 00:38:42,984
Because thou art
the prince of darkness,
799
00:38:43,004 --> 00:38:44,986
The epitome
of all evil.
800
00:38:45,006 --> 00:38:47,822
Eat shit and die.
801
00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:52,149
Let's see
Geraldo Rivera top this.
802
00:38:54,088 --> 00:38:57,269
Wait till they
get a load of me.
803
00:39:00,094 --> 00:39:02,680
I had no way of knowing
804
00:39:02,691 --> 00:39:06,080
The forces of evil were
growing ever more powerful.
805
00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:08,645
But somehow I sensed...
806
00:39:08,665 --> 00:39:11,251
It was not Nancy aglet
the devil wanted.
807
00:39:11,272 --> 00:39:13,118
He wanted me,
808
00:39:13,139 --> 00:39:15,349
And, by God,
I had to be ready.
809
00:39:15,381 --> 00:39:19,322
So I decided to not only
revitalize my faith
810
00:39:19,353 --> 00:39:22,659
But to restore my physical
strength as well.
811
00:39:22,690 --> 00:39:25,735
As they say
in greenwich village...
812
00:39:25,755 --> 00:39:28,675
To tighten and tone my buns.
813
00:39:28,696 --> 00:39:30,740
Excuse me. Uh,
I'm father mayii.
814
00:39:30,761 --> 00:39:31,845
I called...
815
00:39:31,866 --> 00:39:32,846
Hey, padre!
816
00:39:32,867 --> 00:39:34,045
How you doin'?
817
00:39:34,066 --> 00:39:35,046
I've been
expecting you.
818
00:39:35,067 --> 00:39:36,683
Are you ready for
the workout now?
819
00:39:36,704 --> 00:39:37,945
What are we gonna
work on today?
820
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:38,946
Pecmans?
821
00:39:38,977 --> 00:39:40,218
Buttissimo?
822
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:41,386
Ah, the old
abba dabbas
823
00:39:41,407 --> 00:39:43,085
Look a little
soft, huh?
824
00:39:43,117 --> 00:39:44,086
I beg your pardon...
825
00:39:44,118 --> 00:39:45,181
First things first.
826
00:39:45,212 --> 00:39:46,359
Let's put this
on your wrist.
827
00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:47,423
What is that?
828
00:39:47,444 --> 00:39:49,300
Ok, this is a digital
heart monitor.
829
00:39:49,321 --> 00:39:50,426
When your heart rate
830
00:39:50,447 --> 00:39:52,000
Reaches a certain
stress level,
831
00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:53,033
It beeps.
832
00:39:53,064 --> 00:39:54,034
The harder you pump,
833
00:39:54,055 --> 00:39:55,713
The faster it beeps.
834
00:39:55,733 --> 00:39:56,912
Oh.
835
00:39:56,933 --> 00:39:57,944
Hi there, sailor.
836
00:40:00,332 --> 00:40:02,282
Heh. Heh. Sailor.
837
00:40:02,302 --> 00:40:03,783
You know...
838
00:40:03,804 --> 00:40:05,921
He must think this
is a naval uniform.
839
00:40:16,890 --> 00:40:18,068
Oh...
840
00:40:21,155 --> 00:40:22,208
Hey, your holiness.
841
00:40:22,229 --> 00:40:23,282
You ok?
842
00:40:24,898 --> 00:40:26,952
Well, let's rock
and roll! Come on!
843
00:40:26,963 --> 00:40:29,309
No, no, I don't want to go
to the women's gymnasium.
844
00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:31,853
Ah, your h-ness,
this is the 90s.
845
00:40:31,874 --> 00:40:33,417
Everybody's doing it
together. Come on.
846
00:40:33,438 --> 00:40:35,117
Oh, i... i just
remembered.
847
00:40:35,137 --> 00:40:36,118
I have another
appointment.
848
00:40:36,149 --> 00:40:37,223
Padre, listen to me.
First of all,
849
00:40:37,254 --> 00:40:38,391
You can't work out in this.
850
00:40:38,411 --> 00:40:39,934
Let's go put some real
workout clothes on.
851
00:40:39,955 --> 00:40:41,164
How you doing?
852
00:40:41,185 --> 00:40:42,363
Mind keeping that
door closed, please?
853
00:40:42,384 --> 00:40:44,334
What do you say
we start sweating...
854
00:40:44,355 --> 00:40:46,034
For the lord.
But I really...
855
00:40:46,065 --> 00:40:46,868
Come on. Here we go.
856
00:40:49,965 --> 00:40:51,070
Excuse me.
857
00:40:51,091 --> 00:40:52,373
Hi, father.
858
00:40:52,394 --> 00:40:54,240
Is there a convention
in town?
859
00:40:56,273 --> 00:40:57,785
♪ pump up the jam
860
00:40:57,806 --> 00:40:58,817
♪ pump it up
861
00:40:58,838 --> 00:41:00,319
♪ while your feet are thumpin'
862
00:41:00,350 --> 00:41:02,383
♪ and the jam is pumpin'
863
00:41:02,404 --> 00:41:04,052
♪ look at here
the crowd is jumpin' ♪
864
00:41:04,073 --> 00:41:05,053
♪ pump it up
865
00:41:05,074 --> 00:41:06,325
♪ a little more
866
00:41:06,346 --> 00:41:08,462
♪ get the party going
on the dance floor ♪
867
00:41:08,494 --> 00:41:09,870
♪ see, 'cause that's
where the party's at ♪
868
00:41:09,891 --> 00:41:12,300
♪ and you'll find out
if you do that ♪
869
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,301
♪ I don't want
870
00:41:13,332 --> 00:41:14,500
All right, father.
871
00:41:14,531 --> 00:41:15,469
You wanna concentrate now.
872
00:41:15,490 --> 00:41:17,868
Back straight, stomach in
nice and tight, ok?
873
00:41:17,899 --> 00:41:19,838
This is a great exercise
for the inner thigh.
874
00:41:19,870 --> 00:41:21,037
When I count to 3,
875
00:41:21,069 --> 00:41:22,216
Breathe normally,
876
00:41:22,237 --> 00:41:23,738
And ease out slowly.
877
00:41:23,738 --> 00:41:23,748
Ready? Come on, now.
And ease out slowly.
878
00:41:23,748 --> 00:41:24,979
Ready? Come on, now.
879
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,011
One...
880
00:41:26,042 --> 00:41:28,086
2...
Ah!
881
00:41:28,117 --> 00:41:29,890
♪ make my day
882
00:41:29,911 --> 00:41:30,891
♪ make my
883
00:41:30,912 --> 00:41:32,090
Well...
884
00:41:32,111 --> 00:41:33,456
Hello there.
885
00:41:33,487 --> 00:41:35,124
How you doing?
886
00:41:35,156 --> 00:41:37,564
I always wanted to have
a personal trainer.
887
00:41:37,585 --> 00:41:39,233
Excuse me,
I'm looking for a man.
888
00:41:39,254 --> 00:41:40,401
Oh, no, you go find
one of your own.
889
00:41:40,432 --> 00:41:42,538
This one's
already taken.
890
00:41:42,559 --> 00:41:44,509
Check, please.
891
00:41:44,530 --> 00:41:46,313
♪ while your feet
are thumpin' ♪
892
00:41:46,344 --> 00:41:48,179
♪ and the jam is pumpin'
893
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,254
♪ look at here
the crowd is jumpin' ♪
894
00:41:50,265 --> 00:41:52,475
♪ pump it up a little more
895
00:41:52,506 --> 00:41:54,091
♪ get the party goin'
on the dance floor ♪
896
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:55,322
♪ see, 'cause that's where
the party's at ♪
897
00:41:55,343 --> 00:41:56,458
Slowly.
898
00:41:56,479 --> 00:41:58,492
There you go.
899
00:42:00,421 --> 00:42:02,558
Let's go for 10, ok?
900
00:42:02,579 --> 00:42:04,863
Father mayii,
I'm so glad I found you.
901
00:42:04,894 --> 00:42:06,479
I went to visit you
at the home, but...
902
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:08,606
The sister at the front
desk said you were here.
903
00:42:08,627 --> 00:42:10,107
Luke, you look
troubled.
904
00:42:10,128 --> 00:42:12,245
But then, you've always
looked troubled.
905
00:42:12,266 --> 00:42:15,175
The supreme council
has granted the exorcism.
906
00:42:15,206 --> 00:42:17,083
Well, thank God.
907
00:42:17,104 --> 00:42:18,188
There's a catch,
I'm afraid.
908
00:42:18,209 --> 00:42:19,982
Have you heard of
Ernest weller?
909
00:42:20,003 --> 00:42:23,089
The evangelist with the
wife and matching dog?
910
00:42:23,110 --> 00:42:26,958
Weller has convinced them
to televise the exorcism.
911
00:42:26,989 --> 00:42:28,355
What?
912
00:42:28,386 --> 00:42:30,096
My God!
913
00:42:30,117 --> 00:42:32,265
That charlatan!
914
00:42:32,296 --> 00:42:33,871
That hypocrite!
915
00:42:33,892 --> 00:42:34,872
Ah!
916
00:42:34,893 --> 00:42:36,206
Ah!
917
00:42:36,227 --> 00:42:37,614
There. You see?
918
00:42:37,635 --> 00:42:39,470
Someone else who knows
that it's wrong.
919
00:42:39,501 --> 00:42:41,482
You're a good man,
Larry.
920
00:42:41,503 --> 00:42:43,109
It's a sacrilege.
921
00:42:43,140 --> 00:42:44,319
It's a travesty.
922
00:42:44,350 --> 00:42:46,925
Televised exorcism?
923
00:42:46,946 --> 00:42:49,324
I can't believe that
they'd do such a thing!
924
00:42:49,344 --> 00:42:51,326
Well, they claim that it
will convert millions.
925
00:42:51,347 --> 00:42:53,296
Millions!
In weller's pocket!
926
00:42:53,317 --> 00:42:54,965
The man is a thief!
927
00:42:54,986 --> 00:42:56,466
He's a swindler!
928
00:42:56,487 --> 00:42:59,271
He's a crook posing
as a man of God!
929
00:42:59,292 --> 00:43:00,293
That's the spirit,
father!
930
00:43:00,324 --> 00:43:01,940
Together, we can do it!
931
00:43:01,961 --> 00:43:03,035
No, Luke.
932
00:43:03,067 --> 00:43:04,036
Ah!
933
00:43:06,226 --> 00:43:08,176
Think of Nancy, father.
934
00:43:08,197 --> 00:43:09,980
You're the only one
with the experience.
935
00:43:10,011 --> 00:43:12,420
No, Luke, I do not
have the strength.
936
00:43:12,441 --> 00:43:13,921
You must do it.
937
00:43:13,942 --> 00:43:16,090
Raise up your faith, Luke.
938
00:43:16,111 --> 00:43:18,697
Make it a giant
sword against Satan.
939
00:43:18,718 --> 00:43:19,698
Remember...
940
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,096
Faith can move mountains.
941
00:43:22,127 --> 00:43:23,535
Yeah!
942
00:43:26,361 --> 00:43:27,330
♪ pump up the jam
943
00:43:27,362 --> 00:43:28,436
♪ pump it up
944
00:43:28,467 --> 00:43:30,104
♪ while your feet
are thumpin' ♪
945
00:43:30,125 --> 00:43:31,710
♪ and the jam is pumpin'
946
00:43:31,741 --> 00:43:33,545
♪ look at here
the crowd is jumpin' ♪
947
00:43:33,566 --> 00:43:34,546
♪ pump it up
948
00:43:34,567 --> 00:43:36,047
♪ a little more
949
00:43:36,068 --> 00:43:37,685
♪ get your party goin'
on the dance floor ♪
950
00:43:37,705 --> 00:43:39,384
♪ see, 'cause that's
where the party's at ♪
951
00:43:39,405 --> 00:43:41,355
♪ and you'll find out
if you do that ♪
952
00:43:41,376 --> 00:43:43,357
♪ I don't want
953
00:43:43,378 --> 00:43:45,390
♪ a place to stay
954
00:43:45,421 --> 00:43:48,059
♪ get your Booty
on the floor tonight ♪
955
00:43:48,091 --> 00:43:49,436
♪ make my day
956
00:43:49,457 --> 00:43:51,104
♪ I don't want
957
00:43:51,125 --> 00:43:53,044
♪ a place to stay
958
00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:55,442
♪ get your Booty
on the floor tonight ♪
959
00:43:55,463 --> 00:43:56,443
♪ make my day
960
00:43:56,464 --> 00:43:58,445
6...7...
961
00:43:58,466 --> 00:43:59,571
Good, let's switch!
962
00:43:59,602 --> 00:44:01,312
One... 2...
963
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,210
3...4...
964
00:44:03,231 --> 00:44:05,358
5...6...
965
00:44:05,379 --> 00:44:07,287
7...
And reach to the side.
966
00:44:07,318 --> 00:44:08,288
And one! Come on!
967
00:44:08,319 --> 00:44:11,030
Bend! 3 and 4!
968
00:44:11,051 --> 00:44:12,699
5, 6, 7.
969
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,523
Twist again.
970
00:44:14,555 --> 00:44:16,140
Feel it,
come on, work it!
971
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,267
4...5...
972
00:44:18,288 --> 00:44:19,372
6...7...
973
00:44:19,393 --> 00:44:22,135
Now the upper arms reach.
974
00:44:22,156 --> 00:44:23,970
Come on. 3, 3, 5.
975
00:44:23,970 --> 00:44:23,981
6. Forward!
Come on. 3, 3, 5.
976
00:44:23,981 --> 00:44:26,681
6. Forward!
977
00:44:26,702 --> 00:44:27,682
Forward.
978
00:44:27,703 --> 00:44:29,653
2, 3, faster!
979
00:44:29,674 --> 00:44:31,457
1, 2, 3, 4.
980
00:44:31,478 --> 00:44:33,084
Come on, summer's coming!
981
00:44:33,115 --> 00:44:34,596
Get those butts in gear!
982
00:44:34,616 --> 00:44:36,118
2, 3, 4.
983
00:44:36,139 --> 00:44:38,162
Let's work with
doggy kicks.
984
00:44:38,183 --> 00:44:39,267
Come on!
985
00:44:39,288 --> 00:44:40,789
And higher!
986
00:44:40,810 --> 00:44:42,437
3...4...
987
00:44:42,458 --> 00:44:44,168
5...Come on!
988
00:44:44,199 --> 00:44:46,201
Get it up!
989
00:44:46,222 --> 00:44:47,202
Here we go!
990
00:44:47,223 --> 00:44:48,672
8...7...
991
00:44:48,693 --> 00:44:50,632
6...5...
992
00:44:50,664 --> 00:44:52,311
4... You've got 3!
993
00:44:52,342 --> 00:44:53,823
2... One...
994
00:44:53,834 --> 00:44:55,345
8 more!
8... Whoo!
995
00:44:55,366 --> 00:44:56,545
7...
996
00:44:56,576 --> 00:44:58,390
I can't do it
alone, father.
997
00:44:58,411 --> 00:45:00,059
You can, Luke.
And you must.
998
00:45:00,079 --> 00:45:01,456
But I'm afraid
to be defeated
999
00:45:01,477 --> 00:45:02,624
In front of millions.
1000
00:45:02,655 --> 00:45:04,594
That didn't stop Mike Tyson.
1001
00:45:04,626 --> 00:45:06,336
Luke, remember...
1002
00:45:06,357 --> 00:45:09,505
When you fall on your face,
you're still moving forward.
1003
00:45:09,526 --> 00:45:12,571
My heart is weak,
and I'm too old.
1004
00:45:12,592 --> 00:45:14,740
And I will not participate
in this... This...
1005
00:45:14,761 --> 00:45:15,803
Sacrilegious circus.
1006
00:45:15,835 --> 00:45:17,441
You see, now I've
lost my glasses.
1007
00:45:17,461 --> 00:45:19,276
Please, I want you
to leave me alone.
1008
00:45:19,307 --> 00:45:20,746
I don't want to hear
any more about it.
1009
00:45:43,675 --> 00:45:45,177
♪ pump up the jam
1010
00:45:45,197 --> 00:45:46,251
♪ pump it up
1011
00:45:46,271 --> 00:45:47,648
Young man...
1012
00:45:47,669 --> 00:45:49,514
I was just in the
locker room there,
1013
00:45:49,546 --> 00:45:51,485
And all my clothes
have been stolen.
1014
00:45:51,516 --> 00:45:52,486
I want you to know,
1015
00:45:52,517 --> 00:45:54,655
I think that, uh, someone
here in the gymnasium
1016
00:45:54,686 --> 00:45:56,292
Has a very
serious problem.
1017
00:45:56,313 --> 00:45:57,898
Padre...
1018
00:45:57,918 --> 00:46:00,400
I think it's you with
the serious problem.
1019
00:46:00,421 --> 00:46:01,401
What?
Father?
1020
00:46:01,422 --> 00:46:02,392
Are these your
glasses?
1021
00:46:02,423 --> 00:46:03,361
Oh, thank you,
my child.
1022
00:46:03,382 --> 00:46:04,634
What problem?
1023
00:46:04,654 --> 00:46:05,833
I don't have
any problems.
1024
00:46:05,854 --> 00:46:07,334
I... i...
1025
00:46:08,502 --> 00:46:09,712
Oh...
1026
00:46:12,673 --> 00:46:13,653
Oh!
1027
00:46:13,674 --> 00:46:14,654
Are you all right,
father?
1028
00:46:14,675 --> 00:46:15,645
Easy, your holiness.
1029
00:46:16,677 --> 00:46:18,220
Easy, man.
1030
00:46:19,315 --> 00:46:20,493
Father?
1031
00:46:20,514 --> 00:46:22,161
Oh, mommy!
1032
00:46:22,182 --> 00:46:23,517
Oh, mommy, no!
1033
00:46:23,548 --> 00:46:25,592
N-n-not my mommy!
1034
00:46:25,623 --> 00:46:26,697
Daddy...
1035
00:46:30,826 --> 00:46:32,307
♪ yo, pump it, pump it
1036
00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:37,479
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
1037
00:46:37,510 --> 00:46:38,678
I'm army archerd,
1038
00:46:38,709 --> 00:46:42,818
Welcoming you to the greatest
television event of all time.
1039
00:46:42,838 --> 00:46:46,384
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight!
1040
00:46:48,448 --> 00:46:50,325
We have a tremendous
audience here
1041
00:46:50,346 --> 00:46:52,296
At global television studios,
1042
00:46:52,317 --> 00:46:53,703
Waiting in anticipation
1043
00:46:53,724 --> 00:46:56,373
Of the greatest names
in show biz.
1044
00:46:57,958 --> 00:46:59,772
Is it... and look who's there!
1045
00:46:59,793 --> 00:47:01,409
It's Sean penn!
1046
00:47:02,264 --> 00:47:03,244
Whoa!
1047
00:47:03,276 --> 00:47:04,485
Whoa!
1048
00:47:04,506 --> 00:47:05,841
Whoa!
1049
00:47:05,872 --> 00:47:07,353
And wait a minute!
1050
00:47:07,373 --> 00:47:08,479
Here they are,
1051
00:47:08,510 --> 00:47:11,179
The courageous couple who will
be dueling with the devil!
1052
00:47:14,641 --> 00:47:17,425
Ernest and Fanny rae weller!
1053
00:47:26,299 --> 00:47:27,383
Could we get you
to come up?
1054
00:47:27,404 --> 00:47:28,374
Can we get you
to come up?
1055
00:47:28,394 --> 00:47:30,344
Oh, good.
1056
00:47:30,365 --> 00:47:31,814
How are ya?
How are ya?
1057
00:47:31,835 --> 00:47:32,878
Hi, Ernest.
1058
00:47:32,899 --> 00:47:33,879
Hi! Ha ha!
1059
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:35,454
Hi! Hi, everybody!
1060
00:47:35,474 --> 00:47:36,653
How are you?
1061
00:47:36,684 --> 00:47:38,425
Just fine. Hello.
1062
00:47:38,446 --> 00:47:41,491
And everybody say hello
to kit-Kat!
1063
00:47:41,512 --> 00:47:44,296
Hello, kit-Kat!
1064
00:47:45,526 --> 00:47:46,934
First off, do you
have some words
1065
00:47:46,955 --> 00:47:47,935
For the group here?
1066
00:47:47,956 --> 00:47:50,406
Oh, yes, I do.
1067
00:47:50,427 --> 00:47:54,473
I want you to go home
and tune in the show!
1068
00:48:01,803 --> 00:48:03,617
Oh, poo.
1069
00:48:03,638 --> 00:48:06,015
This ensemble just
doesn't look right.
1070
00:48:06,047 --> 00:48:08,288
You mind if
I change, honey?
1071
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,728
Just hurry up. We're on
the air in 5 minutes.
1072
00:48:10,749 --> 00:48:11,729
Ok.
1073
00:48:13,492 --> 00:48:15,671
You know, Ernie, I just
feel a little bit nervous
1074
00:48:15,692 --> 00:48:17,902
About coming face to face,
1075
00:48:17,933 --> 00:48:19,737
You know, with the devil
and all.
1076
00:48:19,758 --> 00:48:21,677
Relax.
1077
00:48:21,708 --> 00:48:23,345
Mrs. aglet
is not the devil.
1078
00:48:23,376 --> 00:48:24,273
She is just a nut
with a bad complexion
1079
00:48:24,273 --> 00:48:24,284
Who thinks
she is possessed.
She is just a nut
with a bad complexion
1080
00:48:24,284 --> 00:48:26,786
Who thinks
she is possessed.
1081
00:48:26,807 --> 00:48:28,288
Oh, well,
whatever you say.
1082
00:48:29,946 --> 00:48:31,854
Oh, there!
1083
00:48:31,875 --> 00:48:34,721
Now, I'll just look perfect
when I sing my song!
1084
00:48:35,785 --> 00:48:37,098
I can't wait.
Heh heh.
1085
00:48:37,119 --> 00:48:38,527
Remember, now, honey...
1086
00:48:38,558 --> 00:48:40,925
You promised!
Ok, daddy.
1087
00:48:42,886 --> 00:48:44,742
Unh.
Unh.
1088
00:48:44,762 --> 00:48:45,868
Aw.
1089
00:48:55,075 --> 00:48:57,025
Cue.
1090
00:48:57,046 --> 00:48:58,589
Settle down.
1091
00:48:58,610 --> 00:49:00,518
Cue announcer.
1092
00:49:00,539 --> 00:49:02,520
Live from Hollywood, it's...
1093
00:49:02,551 --> 00:49:05,033
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight!
1094
00:49:07,723 --> 00:49:09,735
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
1095
00:49:09,756 --> 00:49:12,905
Ernest and Fanny rae weller!
1096
00:49:18,734 --> 00:49:19,850
God bless...
1097
00:49:19,870 --> 00:49:21,685
All of you.
1098
00:49:21,706 --> 00:49:23,614
Every one of you.
1099
00:49:23,635 --> 00:49:25,386
My friends...
1100
00:49:25,407 --> 00:49:27,430
Tonight...
1101
00:49:27,451 --> 00:49:29,693
Is soon to become...
1102
00:49:29,724 --> 00:49:32,529
The single most
important night
1103
00:49:32,550 --> 00:49:34,604
In the history of mankind...
1104
00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:37,576
Because tonight...
1105
00:49:37,596 --> 00:49:39,505
Millions of you...
1106
00:49:39,536 --> 00:49:41,006
Will witness...
1107
00:49:41,037 --> 00:49:43,769
As we rid the vile spirit...
1108
00:49:43,801 --> 00:49:45,646
Of Satan himself
1109
00:49:45,677 --> 00:49:48,753
From the soul
of Mrs. Nancy aglet!
1110
00:49:48,774 --> 00:49:50,119
Praise the lord!
1111
00:49:50,151 --> 00:49:53,852
And assisting us
in tonight's exorcism
1112
00:49:53,884 --> 00:49:56,094
Is father Luke brophy.
1113
00:50:01,464 --> 00:50:02,767
And now, believers...
1114
00:50:02,788 --> 00:50:05,969
And non-believers...
1115
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,180
From the bowels
of hell...
1116
00:50:09,201 --> 00:50:11,756
I bring you...
1117
00:50:11,777 --> 00:50:12,715
The devil!
1118
00:50:34,873 --> 00:50:37,782
Gee, mom looks
terrible!
1119
00:50:37,813 --> 00:50:40,722
Well, they say TV does
add 10 pounds to you.
1120
00:50:40,743 --> 00:50:43,152
With the blessing
of the lord...
1121
00:50:43,183 --> 00:50:46,186
Let's start
this exorcism.
1122
00:50:48,980 --> 00:50:51,504
I command that
thy putrid spirit
1123
00:50:51,525 --> 00:50:54,830
Leave the holy being
of this child of Jesus.
1124
00:50:54,861 --> 00:50:57,103
I cast thee back to hell.
1125
00:50:57,134 --> 00:50:58,104
To hell!
1126
00:50:58,135 --> 00:50:59,971
I cast thee
back to hell!
1127
00:50:59,991 --> 00:51:01,545
To hell!
1128
00:51:01,566 --> 00:51:03,745
I cast thee
back to hell!
1129
00:51:03,766 --> 00:51:04,944
Why don't you leave me
1130
00:51:04,976 --> 00:51:06,613
A picture and resume
at the door
1131
00:51:06,644 --> 00:51:09,490
And I'll get back
to you, ok?
1132
00:52:21,135 --> 00:52:23,043
Oh, you think you're tough?
1133
00:52:23,064 --> 00:52:23,877
You're so tough?
1134
00:52:23,909 --> 00:52:26,349
How come you possessed
a woman's body?
1135
00:52:26,380 --> 00:52:28,757
You get off wearing
women's clothing?
1136
00:52:52,103 --> 00:52:55,419
♪ well, they call
this guy a devil ♪
1137
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,953
♪ and he's got
a heart of stone ♪
1138
00:52:57,984 --> 00:53:01,123
♪ so if you want him
to get lost ♪
1139
00:53:01,154 --> 00:53:03,271
♪ just go pick up your phone
1140
00:53:03,292 --> 00:53:05,669
♪ make a pledge to Jesus
1141
00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:08,870
♪ from the comfort
of your home ♪
1142
00:53:08,902 --> 00:53:12,040
♪ for if you do, I promise you
1143
00:53:12,071 --> 00:53:17,316
♪ the devil will start to moan
1144
00:53:29,422 --> 00:53:31,007
These just
arrived for you.
1145
00:53:31,028 --> 00:53:32,769
Back on the air
in 10 seconds.
1146
00:53:35,021 --> 00:53:37,180
This is wonderful.
Wonderful!
1147
00:53:37,201 --> 00:53:38,348
What's it say, honey?
1148
00:53:38,369 --> 00:53:40,110
You'll see.
You will see.
1149
00:53:44,312 --> 00:53:46,992
Friends,
1150
00:53:47,013 --> 00:53:48,462
Fred tartastein,
1151
00:53:48,483 --> 00:53:50,162
The president
of this network,
1152
00:53:50,182 --> 00:53:52,487
Has just informed me
that we are being viewed
1153
00:53:52,518 --> 00:53:56,001
By the largest audience
in television history.
1154
00:54:00,026 --> 00:54:02,267
We got no time
to celebrate right now,
1155
00:54:02,288 --> 00:54:04,342
'Cause we have an exorcism
to perform.
1156
00:54:07,471 --> 00:54:09,785
In the name
of almighty God.
1157
00:54:11,777 --> 00:54:13,153
Ernie...
1158
00:54:21,547 --> 00:54:24,029
Watch out with those
special effects.
1159
00:54:24,060 --> 00:54:25,999
Those aren't our effects.
1160
00:54:39,409 --> 00:54:41,525
Setting off
the sprinkler system.
1161
00:54:50,222 --> 00:54:51,869
Quiet!
1162
00:54:51,900 --> 00:54:55,435
Do you realize we have
an awful lot in common?
1163
00:54:55,466 --> 00:54:58,104
We both use people
and then dump them
1164
00:54:58,136 --> 00:55:00,409
When they're no longer
of use to us.
1165
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,421
I used you to get
1166
00:55:02,442 --> 00:55:05,122
The largest audience
in history.
1167
00:55:05,143 --> 00:55:08,094
And now, you're
no longer necessary.
1168
00:55:08,104 --> 00:55:10,117
What do I do
1169
00:55:10,148 --> 00:55:13,234
With a couple
of jackasses like you?
1170
00:55:13,255 --> 00:55:16,258
Ha ha ha! That's it.
1171
00:55:16,289 --> 00:55:18,604
Look! What's over there?
1172
00:55:18,625 --> 00:55:20,909
Oh!
What the...
1173
00:55:20,929 --> 00:55:22,869
Aah!
1174
00:55:25,966 --> 00:55:28,447
Walk this way!
1175
00:55:30,981 --> 00:55:32,587
Enough with the water.
1176
00:55:35,621 --> 00:55:38,593
To all the people
of the world,
1177
00:55:38,614 --> 00:55:41,231
Welcome.
1178
00:55:41,252 --> 00:55:43,494
Now that I have your
undivided attention,
1179
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:46,465
Why don't we all get
a little bit closer?
1180
00:55:54,307 --> 00:55:56,277
Ohh.
1181
00:55:56,298 --> 00:56:00,021
That's much better.
1182
00:56:00,041 --> 00:56:02,158
Hello, I'm Barbara Walters,
1183
00:56:02,189 --> 00:56:03,993
And this is 20/20.
1184
00:56:04,014 --> 00:56:06,934
Aah. I always
wanted to do that.
1185
00:56:06,955 --> 00:56:08,571
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is father brophy,
1186
00:56:08,581 --> 00:56:09,937
We have an emergency.
1187
00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:11,636
I beg of you,
if you're a man of God,
1188
00:56:11,657 --> 00:56:14,003
Please rush to the global
television studios
1189
00:56:14,024 --> 00:56:15,182
In Hollywood, California...
1190
00:56:18,695 --> 00:56:20,312
Oh, sorry
for the young priest's
1191
00:56:20,343 --> 00:56:22,053
Emotional outburst.
1192
00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:24,524
He hasn't
done much TV, you know.
1193
00:56:24,545 --> 00:56:27,517
But I'd like all you
viewers at home now
1194
00:56:27,538 --> 00:56:30,322
To gather
around your TV sets.
1195
00:56:30,353 --> 00:56:33,658
'Cause I have something
very special to...
1196
00:56:33,679 --> 00:56:35,702
TV...
1197
00:56:35,723 --> 00:56:38,132
Satan's spirit
flew out of the TV!
1198
00:56:45,170 --> 00:56:47,672
Ahh...
1199
00:56:47,704 --> 00:56:50,383
You think you've
stopped me,
1200
00:56:50,404 --> 00:56:52,385
But think again.
'Cause I know
1201
00:56:52,406 --> 00:56:54,992
Another way to reach
those people!
1202
00:56:57,046 --> 00:56:59,163
Satan, stop!
1203
00:56:59,194 --> 00:57:01,363
Where do you think
you're going?!
1204
00:57:01,394 --> 00:57:04,001
I'm going to Disneyland!
1205
00:57:10,403 --> 00:57:12,416
Stop! Or I swear,
1206
00:57:12,437 --> 00:57:14,710
Father mayii will burn
in hell forever!
1207
00:57:14,731 --> 00:57:17,223
You can't burn
what you don't have.
1208
00:57:17,244 --> 00:57:18,683
Burn this!
1209
00:57:28,286 --> 00:57:30,434
And that's why
producers like blonde,
1210
00:57:30,455 --> 00:57:34,281
17-year-old coeds
as their assistants.
1211
00:57:34,302 --> 00:57:35,543
Look out!
1212
00:57:37,670 --> 00:57:39,412
Man, I didn't know this
tour had a stunt show!
1213
00:57:46,815 --> 00:57:50,058
♪ chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil ♪
1214
00:57:50,079 --> 00:57:51,559
Ha ha ha ha!
1215
00:57:51,580 --> 00:57:53,488
Whoa!
1216
00:57:53,519 --> 00:57:55,730
♪ blood on the ground
1217
00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:58,733
♪ sky turns black,
night burns out ♪
1218
00:57:58,764 --> 00:58:02,247
♪ lightning flashing
in her eyes ♪
1219
00:58:02,268 --> 00:58:04,718
♪ word's the devil's
at her side ♪
1220
00:58:04,739 --> 00:58:08,545
♪ here he comes, heaven-sent
1221
00:58:08,576 --> 00:58:11,485
♪ proud to be so innocent
1222
00:58:11,506 --> 00:58:14,228
♪ he don't seem to realize
1223
00:58:14,249 --> 00:58:18,430
♪ the devil's runnin'
at his side ♪
1224
00:58:18,451 --> 00:58:21,798
♪ chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil ♪
1225
00:58:21,819 --> 00:58:23,477
♪ chasin' the devil
1226
00:58:23,487 --> 00:58:25,030
Wow.
1227
00:58:25,030 --> 00:58:25,041
You guys don't
waste any time.
Wow.
1228
00:58:25,041 --> 00:58:28,169
You guys don't
waste any time.
1229
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,441
Come on, let's go!
1230
00:58:31,672 --> 00:58:33,612
Aah! Ha ha ha!
1231
00:58:40,879 --> 00:58:43,830
♪ chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil ♪
1232
00:58:43,851 --> 00:58:47,365
♪ chasin' the devil
1233
00:58:47,386 --> 00:58:50,597
♪ chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil ♪
1234
00:58:50,629 --> 00:58:53,371
♪ chasin' the devil
1235
00:58:53,402 --> 00:58:54,706
Over there!
1236
00:58:54,727 --> 00:58:56,343
Ohh, what'd I do
to deserve this?!
1237
00:58:57,740 --> 00:58:59,575
♪ watch them now,
here they come ♪
1238
00:58:59,606 --> 00:59:01,285
Stop, you monster!
1239
00:59:01,306 --> 00:59:04,226
♪ think they got him
on the run ♪
1240
00:59:04,246 --> 00:59:07,395
♪ devil's laughing
'cause he hides ♪
1241
00:59:07,416 --> 00:59:11,598
♪ right next to them
at their side ♪
1242
00:59:11,629 --> 00:59:14,465
♪ chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil ♪
1243
00:59:14,486 --> 00:59:17,875
♪ chasin' the devil
1244
00:59:17,896 --> 00:59:19,804
Ah, what's the matter?
1245
00:59:19,825 --> 00:59:23,881
Can't take the heat,
rookie? Ha ha ha!
1246
00:59:23,902 --> 00:59:25,111
Ahh!
1247
00:59:25,111 --> 00:59:25,122
I, the all-powerful
prince of darkness,
Ahh!
1248
00:59:25,122 --> 00:59:30,450
I, the all-powerful
prince of darkness,
1249
00:59:30,481 --> 00:59:33,286
Command all that is evil
1250
00:59:33,307 --> 00:59:37,332
To unite as one
in my presence... Now!
1251
00:59:37,352 --> 00:59:38,604
Ha ha ha ha!
1252
00:59:39,949 --> 00:59:41,461
Ah, yes!
1253
00:59:41,492 --> 00:59:43,671
Not bad, eh?
1254
00:59:43,692 --> 00:59:44,902
Now watch,
1255
00:59:44,933 --> 00:59:47,310
Through the use
of modern electronics,
1256
00:59:47,331 --> 00:59:49,615
As I turn millions
of your couch potatoes
1257
00:59:49,636 --> 00:59:52,388
Into my disciples!
Ha ha ha!
1258
00:59:54,442 --> 00:59:55,756
Yes!
1259
00:59:55,777 --> 00:59:58,728
Freeze, pukeface!
1260
00:59:58,749 --> 01:00:01,387
Think you're man enough
for a real challenge?
1261
01:00:01,418 --> 01:00:04,296
A challenge?
From you?
1262
01:00:04,317 --> 01:00:06,600
Oh, don't make me laugh.
My skin will crack.
1263
01:00:06,621 --> 01:00:08,967
Not me... Mayii.
1264
01:00:08,988 --> 01:00:10,667
Mayii?!
1265
01:00:10,688 --> 01:00:12,440
Oh, that old geezer
stopped slinging
1266
01:00:12,461 --> 01:00:13,972
Holy water years ago.
1267
01:00:14,004 --> 01:00:16,485
Not before he kicked
your slimy butt.
1268
01:00:16,506 --> 01:00:17,987
No way!
1269
01:00:17,997 --> 01:00:19,655
I-I could've taken him.
1270
01:00:19,676 --> 01:00:21,720
The fight was fixed.
1271
01:00:21,741 --> 01:00:23,357
I want a rematch!
1272
01:00:23,367 --> 01:00:24,618
You got it.
1273
01:00:27,257 --> 01:00:29,227
Ha ha ha!
1274
01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:30,823
This is it, America!
1275
01:00:30,854 --> 01:00:32,793
The event you've all
been waiting for.
1276
01:00:32,825 --> 01:00:34,503
Hi, I'm
mean gene okerlund,
1277
01:00:34,524 --> 01:00:36,505
Along with Jesse
"the body" ventura,
1278
01:00:36,526 --> 01:00:38,633
Bringing you the
ultimate confrontation
1279
01:00:38,664 --> 01:00:39,873
Of good against evil.
1280
01:00:41,698 --> 01:00:43,648
Now, there's
a man out there,
1281
01:00:43,669 --> 01:00:46,349
Who many years ago
1282
01:00:46,369 --> 01:00:51,489
Banished me from the
very soul I now possess.
1283
01:00:51,510 --> 01:00:54,534
He humiliated me!
1284
01:00:54,555 --> 01:00:58,600
And now, I've come back
to settle matters.
1285
01:00:58,621 --> 01:01:00,801
And I'm not leaving
1286
01:01:00,821 --> 01:01:04,669
Until I have his
stinking, rotten soul.
1287
01:01:04,690 --> 01:01:06,848
Father mayii!
1288
01:01:06,869 --> 01:01:08,673
Where are you?
1289
01:01:08,704 --> 01:01:11,019
I know you're watching.
1290
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:13,542
Because this is
Wednesday night,
1291
01:01:13,574 --> 01:01:15,388
And everybody knows
the other networks
1292
01:01:15,409 --> 01:01:18,391
Don't have dick
to watch tonight.
1293
01:01:18,422 --> 01:01:21,029
So, do we
do battle again?
1294
01:01:21,050 --> 01:01:22,729
Or do you cherry out
1295
01:01:22,750 --> 01:01:25,262
And let me keep
this soul forever?
1296
01:01:25,262 --> 01:01:25,273
What do you say, mayii?
And let me keep
this soul forever?
1297
01:01:25,273 --> 01:01:28,870
What do you say, mayii?
1298
01:01:28,891 --> 01:01:31,373
No...
1299
01:01:31,404 --> 01:01:33,740
No!
1300
01:01:33,761 --> 01:01:37,347
By God, you may not!
1301
01:01:37,368 --> 01:01:38,849
The belle from hell
1302
01:01:38,870 --> 01:01:40,517
Versus the dove
from above
1303
01:01:40,538 --> 01:01:43,458
In a one-soul, anything
goes match-up, Jess.
1304
01:01:43,479 --> 01:01:45,449
It doesn't get any better
than this, mean gene,
1305
01:01:45,481 --> 01:01:48,421
But everyone knows
mayii's got a bad ticker.
1306
01:01:48,452 --> 01:01:50,892
So Las Vegas oddsmakers
have listed him
1307
01:01:50,913 --> 01:01:52,894
As a 25 to 1 underdog.
1308
01:03:16,061 --> 01:03:18,814
You call this a tip,
you cheap bastard?!
1309
01:03:24,236 --> 01:03:26,519
He doesn't stand
a shot in hell!
1310
01:03:27,885 --> 01:03:30,690
Father brophy!
Luke!
1311
01:03:30,711 --> 01:03:31,889
Luke!
1312
01:03:31,910 --> 01:03:32,859
Father, what are you...
1313
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:34,193
Were you watching on TV?
1314
01:03:34,214 --> 01:03:37,061
Yes. I had to come.
I had no choice.
1315
01:03:37,082 --> 01:03:38,604
Well, what about
your heart?
1316
01:03:38,625 --> 01:03:40,909
Don't worry about that.
I brought it with me.
1317
01:03:40,929 --> 01:03:42,201
Father,
this could kill you.
1318
01:03:42,222 --> 01:03:45,079
Yes. Yes, but that's
irrelevant.
1319
01:03:45,100 --> 01:03:47,947
Satan is fighting
to take control here.
1320
01:03:47,968 --> 01:03:49,573
Well, I'm not
so sure.
1321
01:03:49,605 --> 01:03:51,221
Remember, his
opponent is a woman.
1322
01:03:51,242 --> 01:03:52,743
Nice tits, sure,
1323
01:03:52,775 --> 01:03:53,744
But a face
I wouldn't want to
1324
01:03:53,776 --> 01:03:54,756
Wipe my feet on.
1325
01:03:54,777 --> 01:03:55,892
Ever hear of a paper bag?
1326
01:03:55,913 --> 01:03:57,759
My money's on mayii.
1327
01:03:57,780 --> 01:03:59,531
Mayii!
1328
01:04:01,950 --> 01:04:03,233
And they wonder
why priests
1329
01:04:03,254 --> 01:04:06,100
Never get married.
1330
01:04:06,121 --> 01:04:08,770
Now, Luke, I'm going
to need your assistance,
1331
01:04:08,791 --> 01:04:11,074
But if you are still
lacking in faith,
1332
01:04:11,095 --> 01:04:13,775
You may be more harm
than good.
1333
01:04:13,806 --> 01:04:15,245
Are you?
No way.
1334
01:04:15,266 --> 01:04:17,111
You can count on me.
Good.
1335
01:04:17,132 --> 01:04:19,082
Now, just remember
one thing:
1336
01:04:19,103 --> 01:04:20,959
The devil is
always trying
1337
01:04:20,980 --> 01:04:22,127
To take over your mind.
1338
01:04:22,148 --> 01:04:24,661
He'll lie to you,
he will deceive you.
1339
01:04:24,692 --> 01:04:26,892
He will totally try
to manipulate you.
1340
01:04:26,913 --> 01:04:28,967
So do not listen
to anything
1341
01:04:28,988 --> 01:04:30,302
That he has to say.
1342
01:04:30,323 --> 01:04:31,803
He's worse than
a studio executive.
1343
01:04:31,824 --> 01:04:32,971
Understood?
Understood.
1344
01:04:32,992 --> 01:04:34,264
Worse than
a real estate agent,
1345
01:04:34,285 --> 01:04:35,807
A divorce attorney...
1346
01:04:35,828 --> 01:04:37,945
I got it.
Right.
1347
01:04:37,966 --> 01:04:39,206
All right, then.
1348
01:04:42,126 --> 01:04:43,586
Let's go.
1349
01:04:48,841 --> 01:04:53,127
They're here...
1350
01:04:53,158 --> 01:04:54,294
Ah...
1351
01:04:54,315 --> 01:04:57,704
I see it pays to advertise
on television.
1352
01:04:57,725 --> 01:05:01,166
I think a little mood
lighting is appropriate.
1353
01:05:01,197 --> 01:05:03,032
Don't you?
1354
01:05:03,064 --> 01:05:04,231
There.
1355
01:05:04,263 --> 01:05:06,348
Have no fear,
my son.
1356
01:05:06,369 --> 01:05:10,144
We have the Bible,
we have our faith.
1357
01:05:10,164 --> 01:05:14,116
And as a back-up,
these beauties.
1358
01:05:14,137 --> 01:05:16,859
That's an illegal
foreign object!
1359
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:19,027
Jesse, what do you
know about fairness?
1360
01:05:19,048 --> 01:05:22,103
I'll show you fairness!
1361
01:05:22,124 --> 01:05:25,002
Are you just
about finished?
1362
01:05:25,023 --> 01:05:27,870
It's been
a long time, mayii.
1363
01:05:27,891 --> 01:05:31,874
I've waited an eternity
to do to you
1364
01:05:31,905 --> 01:05:36,649
What you did to me
all those years ago.
1365
01:05:36,681 --> 01:05:41,884
Before I do,
I've got something...
1366
01:05:41,905 --> 01:05:44,125
Special for you.
1367
01:05:56,158 --> 01:05:58,140
That is disgusting,
mean gene!
1368
01:05:58,171 --> 01:05:59,985
I have never seen
a move like that
1369
01:06:00,006 --> 01:06:01,747
In all my years
of wrestling!
1370
01:06:01,768 --> 01:06:02,717
Whew!
1371
01:06:06,075 --> 01:06:08,087
So...
1372
01:06:08,118 --> 01:06:11,090
How do you like it?
1373
01:06:11,111 --> 01:06:14,093
Oh, you'll pay for that,
you bucket of cow dung.
1374
01:06:14,114 --> 01:06:15,428
How dare you, you...
1375
01:06:15,459 --> 01:06:17,096
How long has she
been in this condition?
1376
01:06:17,127 --> 01:06:19,234
A few days.
How does look?
1377
01:06:19,254 --> 01:06:21,110
Not too good.
She looks like
1378
01:06:21,131 --> 01:06:24,312
She's been existing
solely on airline food.
1379
01:06:24,332 --> 01:06:25,636
Your father wears
tight underwear!
1380
01:06:25,636 --> 01:06:25,646
And I can't stand
your mother!
Your father wears
tight underwear!
1381
01:06:25,646 --> 01:06:28,409
And I can't stand
your mother!
1382
01:06:28,441 --> 01:06:30,276
Will you put
a sock in it?!
1383
01:06:30,307 --> 01:06:34,155
Jeez, what crawled up
your butt and died?
1384
01:06:34,186 --> 01:06:36,417
Every night I prayed
1385
01:06:36,449 --> 01:06:39,827
To never again gaze
on your grotesque face,
1386
01:06:39,848 --> 01:06:42,465
Listen to your
venomous voice,
1387
01:06:42,486 --> 01:06:44,978
But with you right
in front of me now,
1388
01:06:44,988 --> 01:06:48,304
I thank God that I have
the opportunity
1389
01:06:48,336 --> 01:06:51,443
To boot your stinking
carcass back to hell,
1390
01:06:51,464 --> 01:06:54,477
You worthless,
you rotting,
1391
01:06:54,508 --> 01:06:56,948
You vulgar spirit.
1392
01:06:56,980 --> 01:06:58,116
Hey, hey, hey!
1393
01:06:58,137 --> 01:06:59,315
Where does it say
1394
01:06:59,347 --> 01:07:01,015
You can talk to me
like that?
1395
01:07:01,046 --> 01:07:03,330
Right here.
1396
01:07:03,351 --> 01:07:07,355
Oh, sure, you may feel
pretty cocky right now,
1397
01:07:07,386 --> 01:07:09,325
But you'll soon realize
1398
01:07:09,357 --> 01:07:12,026
That I am far
too powerful for you.
1399
01:07:12,057 --> 01:07:15,467
And I am a man of God.
1400
01:07:15,488 --> 01:07:17,511
And I fear no one,
1401
01:07:17,531 --> 01:07:21,139
Especially an unholy spirit
from an unsavory world.
1402
01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:24,017
Unsavory? Aw, come on.
1403
01:07:24,048 --> 01:07:26,957
You've got just as many
unsavory types here.
1404
01:07:26,978 --> 01:07:29,324
From those domino's
pizza delivery boys
1405
01:07:29,345 --> 01:07:31,358
To that idiot
in the back row
1406
01:07:31,389 --> 01:07:33,495
Who won't shut up
during the movie.
1407
01:07:33,516 --> 01:07:35,038
Enough!
1408
01:07:35,059 --> 01:07:37,166
This is meandering.
1409
01:07:37,186 --> 01:07:39,470
Father, my lunch bucket.
1410
01:07:50,366 --> 01:07:52,056
Holy water.
1411
01:07:52,076 --> 01:07:53,348
The church was closed.
1412
01:07:53,380 --> 01:07:56,362
The only place open
was a 7-11.
1413
01:07:56,383 --> 01:07:57,363
Ahh, thank you,
1414
01:07:57,384 --> 01:07:59,396
You've been
a lovely audience.
1415
01:07:59,427 --> 01:08:00,564
And next,
I'd like to do
1416
01:08:00,585 --> 01:08:03,067
My impression of
comedian don Adams.
1417
01:08:03,098 --> 01:08:05,100
Where's the chief, 99?
1418
01:08:05,121 --> 01:08:08,541
Do not get smart with me!
1419
01:08:08,562 --> 01:08:11,075
On a visit to the little
town of Bethlehem,
1420
01:08:11,095 --> 01:08:12,816
A young Shepherd
came upon Jesus,
1421
01:08:12,837 --> 01:08:14,244
Accepted him lord...
1422
01:08:14,265 --> 01:08:15,944
Lick me!
Lick me!
1423
01:08:15,975 --> 01:08:18,144
Lick me!
1424
01:08:18,175 --> 01:08:19,917
Oh, is this cool
or what?
1425
01:08:19,948 --> 01:08:22,430
It's the cone-ilingus move.
1426
01:08:22,450 --> 01:08:23,556
Why don't you
take a lick
1427
01:08:23,577 --> 01:08:25,089
Of this
candy stick,
1428
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:27,831
You sissy boys!
Hee hee hee!
1429
01:08:27,862 --> 01:08:28,999
That's disgusting!
1430
01:08:29,020 --> 01:08:31,939
And the living Jesus
said unto him,
1431
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,400
"He who is strong
in his belief of God
1432
01:08:34,431 --> 01:08:36,944
Shall have
his sins forgiven."
1433
01:08:36,965 --> 01:08:39,040
What a levitation move!
1434
01:08:39,071 --> 01:08:41,084
Jesus said unto him...
1435
01:08:41,105 --> 01:08:41,980
Father.
1436
01:08:42,001 --> 01:08:43,889
Luke, do not believe
what you are seeing.
1437
01:08:43,909 --> 01:08:45,484
It is merely
an illusion.
1438
01:08:45,505 --> 01:08:48,195
You sound like George Bush
on the deficit!
1439
01:08:48,216 --> 01:08:50,854
But she's floating
in midair.
1440
01:08:50,885 --> 01:08:51,865
Hey!
What are you doing
1441
01:08:51,886 --> 01:08:52,991
With those scissors?
1442
01:08:53,023 --> 01:08:54,264
Hey!
1443
01:08:54,284 --> 01:08:55,463
Ohh!
1444
01:08:55,484 --> 01:08:56,297
Ouch!
1445
01:08:56,328 --> 01:08:59,644
That was the antigravity
backdrop. Wow!
1446
01:08:59,654 --> 01:09:01,406
Illegal, mean gene!
1447
01:09:01,427 --> 01:09:03,439
As I said, it is
merely an illusion.
1448
01:09:03,471 --> 01:09:04,607
Oh, yes.
1449
01:09:04,628 --> 01:09:07,308
That may have been
an illusion.
1450
01:09:07,339 --> 01:09:10,321
But I know something
that's very real.
1451
01:09:10,342 --> 01:09:11,155
Your heart
condition!
1452
01:09:16,359 --> 01:09:18,131
Oh, but don't worry.
1453
01:09:18,152 --> 01:09:21,134
Far be it from me to
want to rattle you.
1454
01:09:24,158 --> 01:09:25,868
Unh!
Oh!
1455
01:09:25,868 --> 01:09:25,878
Say your prayers,
mayii.
Unh!
Oh!
1456
01:09:25,878 --> 01:09:28,381
Say your prayers,
mayii.
1457
01:09:28,402 --> 01:09:30,373
Because soon
you'll be history.
1458
01:09:30,393 --> 01:09:32,312
That's enough!
1459
01:09:32,333 --> 01:09:33,647
In the name of God,
1460
01:09:33,668 --> 01:09:35,649
I demand you stop
this charade!
1461
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:39,194
You... Demand?
1462
01:09:39,204 --> 01:09:40,414
You're not
in a position
1463
01:09:40,445 --> 01:09:41,957
To demand dick,
altar boy!
1464
01:09:41,978 --> 01:09:43,594
See, I know
all about you.
1465
01:09:43,625 --> 01:09:46,263
And why you really
joined the church.
1466
01:09:46,295 --> 01:09:47,598
Oh, sure.
1467
01:09:47,619 --> 01:09:50,101
They have a terrific
dental plan.
1468
01:09:50,121 --> 01:09:51,029
But that wasn't why.
1469
01:09:51,060 --> 01:09:52,228
Be quiet.
1470
01:09:52,259 --> 01:09:53,239
Ignore that
beast, Luke.
1471
01:09:53,260 --> 01:09:54,073
You joined the church
1472
01:09:54,094 --> 01:09:56,513
Because you had
no talents, no skills,
1473
01:09:56,534 --> 01:09:57,639
Were totally
untrainable,
1474
01:09:57,660 --> 01:10:00,517
And your s.A.T. Score
was under 400.
1475
01:10:00,538 --> 01:10:02,290
Shut up!
Don't listen!
1476
01:10:02,300 --> 01:10:04,417
So, you had 2 choices.
1477
01:10:04,448 --> 01:10:06,283
Either working
in the church,
1478
01:10:06,315 --> 01:10:07,722
Or the U.S. senate.
1479
01:10:07,743 --> 01:10:10,225
I said, shut up,
damn you! Shut up!
1480
01:10:10,246 --> 01:10:13,165
Don't listen, Luke!
1481
01:10:13,186 --> 01:10:16,241
♪ come and listen to a story
'bout a man named jed ♪
1482
01:10:16,262 --> 01:10:19,171
♪ a poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
1483
01:10:22,299 --> 01:10:23,280
I just want
to thank you
1484
01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:24,739
For joining the church.
1485
01:10:24,771 --> 01:10:25,939
Because of you,
I'll be able to keep
1486
01:10:25,939 --> 01:10:25,949
This woman's soul
forever.
Because of you,
I'll be able to keep
1487
01:10:25,949 --> 01:10:28,212
This woman's soul
forever.
1488
01:10:29,473 --> 01:10:32,122
I have no right
calling myself a priest.
1489
01:10:32,143 --> 01:10:33,352
Luke!
1490
01:10:33,383 --> 01:10:35,292
I have to ask
you to leave.
1491
01:10:35,313 --> 01:10:37,596
Aw, please, dad.
Can't he stay?
1492
01:10:37,617 --> 01:10:39,462
Tomorrow's not
a school day. Please?
1493
01:10:39,483 --> 01:10:41,631
Damn you!
1494
01:10:41,652 --> 01:10:44,467
I'll kill you
with my bare hands.
1495
01:10:44,499 --> 01:10:45,635
Aw, you take
your best shot,
1496
01:10:45,656 --> 01:10:46,636
You old fart.
1497
01:10:46,668 --> 01:10:47,773
Now, don't
take a look
1498
01:10:47,794 --> 01:10:48,774
At this picture
1499
01:10:48,795 --> 01:10:51,047
With your mother
in bed
1500
01:10:51,068 --> 01:10:53,018
With
Manuel noriega.
1501
01:10:53,039 --> 01:10:55,020
Aah!
1502
01:11:03,424 --> 01:11:05,165
Aah!
1503
01:11:05,197 --> 01:11:06,104
Luke!
1504
01:11:07,689 --> 01:11:09,430
He's down! He's out!
1505
01:11:09,461 --> 01:11:10,806
It's a heart attack,
mean gene!
1506
01:11:10,827 --> 01:11:11,734
Massive cardiac.
1507
01:11:13,361 --> 01:11:14,602
What a wuss!
1508
01:11:14,633 --> 01:11:15,749
Father.
1509
01:11:23,079 --> 01:11:23,788
Unh!
1510
01:11:39,658 --> 01:11:40,638
He's coming back,
1511
01:11:40,659 --> 01:11:41,671
Ladies and
gentlemen.
1512
01:11:41,702 --> 01:11:43,808
Oh! What a comeback,
Jesse ventura!
1513
01:11:43,829 --> 01:11:44,809
I don't believe it!
1514
01:11:44,830 --> 01:11:46,686
He was down and out
and finished!
1515
01:11:51,149 --> 01:11:53,099
So, you're
a hard man to kill.
1516
01:11:55,747 --> 01:11:59,365
It might be easier
if you were a woman.
1517
01:11:59,386 --> 01:12:01,670
Sister mayii!
1518
01:12:07,269 --> 01:12:10,408
♪ Kumbaya, my lord, Kumbaya
1519
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,744
♪ Kumbaya, my lord, Kumbaya
1520
01:12:13,776 --> 01:12:14,818
♪ Kumbaya...
1521
01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:29,833
That guy even scares me,
mean gene.
1522
01:12:31,564 --> 01:12:32,836
Hi, yi, yi, yi!
1523
01:12:36,507 --> 01:12:37,820
Well, it ain't
star search,
1524
01:12:37,841 --> 01:12:40,292
But I got
a million of these.
1525
01:12:43,806 --> 01:12:45,318
This is the craziest exorcism
1526
01:12:45,349 --> 01:12:46,193
I've ever performed.
1527
01:12:49,718 --> 01:12:50,698
Hey!
1528
01:12:50,719 --> 01:12:52,168
Who are you?
1529
01:12:52,189 --> 01:12:54,869
I'm your worst nightmare.
1530
01:12:57,694 --> 01:12:59,373
Something's wrong.
1531
01:13:01,667 --> 01:13:04,347
Ahh!
Who needs steroids?
1532
01:13:04,378 --> 01:13:06,881
Steroids aren't used
in wrestling anymore.
1533
01:13:06,902 --> 01:13:07,955
Or any less.
1534
01:13:07,976 --> 01:13:10,624
And we are here to pump...
1535
01:13:10,645 --> 01:13:12,428
You up!
1536
01:13:12,449 --> 01:13:13,658
Hey!
1537
01:13:13,690 --> 01:13:16,526
You're nothing
but a little girly devil.
1538
01:13:16,557 --> 01:13:18,695
Satan!
1539
01:13:18,726 --> 01:13:19,737
Satan, you got him
on the run.
1540
01:13:19,758 --> 01:13:20,936
What move you gonna use next?
1541
01:13:22,428 --> 01:13:26,171
Next, I'm gonna grab
a wrestler by his neck,
1542
01:13:26,171 --> 01:13:26,181
Suck out his eyeballs,
Next, I'm gonna grab
a wrestler by his neck,
1543
01:13:26,181 --> 01:13:28,277
Suck out his eyeballs,
1544
01:13:28,298 --> 01:13:29,852
And spit 'em
down his throat!
1545
01:13:29,872 --> 01:13:31,749
What did she say?
1546
01:13:31,770 --> 01:13:32,948
She's talking to you,
mean gene.
1547
01:13:34,846 --> 01:13:37,849
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
1548
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:39,288
In the name
of the holy father,
1549
01:13:39,309 --> 01:13:41,561
I anoint this woman's body
1550
01:13:41,582 --> 01:13:43,730
With the symbol
of God's goodness.
1551
01:13:45,586 --> 01:13:46,962
Ha ha! You missed!
1552
01:13:49,924 --> 01:13:50,831
You swine!
1553
01:13:52,301 --> 01:13:53,375
Ooh!
1554
01:13:56,034 --> 01:13:59,746
Your tricks have
no effect on me!
1555
01:13:59,777 --> 01:14:01,592
Father.
1556
01:14:01,613 --> 01:14:03,719
I'm seeing
a pattern here.
1557
01:14:05,606 --> 01:14:08,255
You fiend!
1558
01:14:08,286 --> 01:14:09,464
Why am I a fiend?
1559
01:14:09,495 --> 01:14:10,559
I was talking
to her.
1560
01:14:10,590 --> 01:14:11,560
Well, you
were looking at me.
1561
01:14:11,591 --> 01:14:12,457
Well, you know!
1562
01:14:12,488 --> 01:14:13,927
I had nothing to do
with the water, Luke.
1563
01:14:13,958 --> 01:14:15,533
It came from over there
and it came from up there.
1564
01:14:15,564 --> 01:14:16,346
Luke!
1565
01:14:16,367 --> 01:14:17,868
Luke!
1566
01:14:17,889 --> 01:14:18,911
Leave her body!
1567
01:14:18,932 --> 01:14:21,841
Enter mine!
Enter mine!
1568
01:14:36,814 --> 01:14:39,671
Luke!
1569
01:14:39,692 --> 01:14:42,643
Oh, no!
1570
01:14:42,664 --> 01:14:44,843
He's innocent.
1571
01:14:44,864 --> 01:14:48,044
It's my body you want.
1572
01:14:48,076 --> 01:14:49,953
Enter me!
1573
01:14:49,973 --> 01:14:51,610
Enter me!
1574
01:14:51,642 --> 01:14:53,623
Enter me!
1575
01:14:53,644 --> 01:14:56,052
Enter me!
1576
01:15:09,764 --> 01:15:11,339
Father mayii?
1577
01:15:11,370 --> 01:15:12,079
Yes?
1578
01:15:17,636 --> 01:15:19,722
You may!
1579
01:15:19,743 --> 01:15:20,692
Father, don't!
1580
01:15:30,389 --> 01:15:32,130
You talk about
your action, Jesse!
1581
01:15:32,151 --> 01:15:34,028
It looks like
a transvestite battle royal!
1582
01:15:55,987 --> 01:15:58,125
Ooh...
1583
01:15:58,156 --> 01:16:00,971
Well, we almost had it
there for a second,
1584
01:16:00,992 --> 01:16:02,973
Didn't we?
1585
01:16:03,005 --> 01:16:05,038
Nice goin'.
Face it,
1586
01:16:05,059 --> 01:16:07,144
You guys can't
beat me.
1587
01:16:07,176 --> 01:16:09,511
You're losers.
1588
01:16:09,543 --> 01:16:10,856
No one can destroy
1589
01:16:10,877 --> 01:16:13,056
What the devil
has created. Nyah!
1590
01:16:13,077 --> 01:16:14,986
If it takes
my last breath,
1591
01:16:15,017 --> 01:16:16,852
I'll prove you wrong.
1592
01:16:16,883 --> 01:16:18,854
What are we gonna do?
We tried everything,
1593
01:16:18,885 --> 01:16:20,866
Everything
the devil hates.
1594
01:16:20,887 --> 01:16:23,035
Prayers, holy water,
1595
01:16:23,056 --> 01:16:25,694
Sex, drugs,
and rock and roll.
1596
01:16:25,725 --> 01:16:26,393
Rock and roll?
1597
01:16:26,393 --> 01:16:26,403
Rock and roll?
We never tried that.
Rock and roll?
1598
01:16:26,403 --> 01:16:29,907
Rock and roll?
We never tried that.
1599
01:16:29,928 --> 01:16:31,804
I hate
rock and roll.
1600
01:16:31,825 --> 01:16:35,204
Oh, you hate
rock and roll?
1601
01:16:35,235 --> 01:16:39,447
Well, wait till you
get a load of me!
1602
01:16:40,782 --> 01:16:41,887
♪ hey
1603
01:16:41,908 --> 01:16:43,191
♪ all right
1604
01:16:43,212 --> 01:16:44,661
♪ jump up
1605
01:16:44,682 --> 01:16:46,527
♪ get it
1606
01:16:46,548 --> 01:16:49,061
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress ♪
1607
01:16:49,093 --> 01:16:50,865
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1608
01:16:50,896 --> 01:16:52,763
♪ ooh, yeah
1609
01:16:52,794 --> 01:16:55,099
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress ♪
1610
01:16:55,119 --> 01:16:58,070
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1611
01:16:58,091 --> 01:17:00,917
♪ Fe Fe fi fi fo fo fum
1612
01:17:00,938 --> 01:17:03,920
♪ lookin' mighty nice,
here she comes ♪
1613
01:17:03,941 --> 01:17:06,787
♪ wearin' a wig, hat,
and shades to match ♪
1614
01:17:06,808 --> 01:17:09,759
♪ got her high-heeled shoes
and an alligator hat ♪
1615
01:17:09,780 --> 01:17:12,533
♪ wearin' her pearls
and a diamond ring ♪
1616
01:17:12,543 --> 01:17:15,671
♪ she got bracelets on her
fingers now and everything ♪
1617
01:17:15,692 --> 01:17:18,601
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on ♪
1618
01:17:18,632 --> 01:17:20,603
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1619
01:17:20,634 --> 01:17:22,000
♪ oh, have mercy
1620
01:17:22,032 --> 01:17:24,774
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on ♪
1621
01:17:24,805 --> 01:17:27,683
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1622
01:17:27,704 --> 01:17:30,613
♪ wearin' her perfume,
chanel no. 5 ♪
1623
01:17:30,644 --> 01:17:33,283
♪ she got to be
the finest girl alive ♪
1624
01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:36,651
♪ she walks real cool,
catches everybody's eye ♪
1625
01:17:36,682 --> 01:17:39,622
♪ she got such good lovin',
they can't say good-bye ♪
1626
01:17:39,654 --> 01:17:41,968
♪ not too skinny,
she's not too fat ♪
1627
01:17:41,989 --> 01:17:45,670
♪ she's a real humdinger,
and I like it like that ♪
1628
01:17:45,691 --> 01:17:48,642
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on ♪
1629
01:17:48,673 --> 01:17:49,976
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1630
01:17:49,997 --> 01:17:51,843
♪ hey, sing it now
1631
01:17:51,874 --> 01:17:54,105
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress ♪
1632
01:17:54,137 --> 01:17:56,285
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1633
01:17:56,306 --> 01:17:59,152
Hello, 911?
This is the devil.
1634
01:17:59,183 --> 01:18:00,289
I'm being driven
back to hell
1635
01:18:00,310 --> 01:18:01,947
By loud music.
Could you...
1636
01:18:01,978 --> 01:18:04,720
Hello? Hello?
1637
01:18:04,752 --> 01:18:06,128
♪ aah
1638
01:18:06,149 --> 01:18:09,631
♪ Fe Fe fi fi fo fo fum
1639
01:18:09,652 --> 01:18:12,165
♪ look it, once again,
here she comes ♪
1640
01:18:12,196 --> 01:18:14,835
♪ wearin' a wig, hat,
and shades to match ♪
1641
01:18:14,866 --> 01:18:18,004
♪ got her high-heeled shoes
and an alligator hat ♪
1642
01:18:18,036 --> 01:18:20,841
♪ wearin' her pearls
and a diamond ring ♪
1643
01:18:20,872 --> 01:18:24,021
♪ she got bracelets on her
fingers now and everything ♪
1644
01:18:24,042 --> 01:18:26,544
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on ♪
1645
01:18:26,544 --> 01:18:26,555
♪ devil with the blue dress on
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on ♪
1646
01:18:26,555 --> 01:18:30,089
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1647
01:18:30,121 --> 01:18:32,602
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress ♪
1648
01:18:32,623 --> 01:18:35,730
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1649
01:18:35,751 --> 01:18:38,733
♪ devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress ♪
1650
01:18:38,765 --> 01:18:40,871
♪ devil with the blue dress on
1651
01:18:42,060 --> 01:18:44,312
No!
1652
01:18:45,365 --> 01:18:47,711
There's no place
like home.
1653
01:18:47,732 --> 01:18:49,348
There's no place
like home.
1654
01:18:49,379 --> 01:18:50,349
Nancy...
1655
01:18:50,370 --> 01:18:51,350
There's no place...
1656
01:18:51,371 --> 01:18:52,820
It's all over now.
1657
01:18:54,812 --> 01:18:56,355
Ooh!
1658
01:18:56,386 --> 01:18:58,024
Ooh!
1659
01:18:58,044 --> 01:19:00,192
Oh, father mayii!
1660
01:19:00,213 --> 01:19:01,725
You saved me
once again!
1661
01:19:01,756 --> 01:19:04,040
How can I ever
thank you?
1662
01:19:04,061 --> 01:19:05,166
Ooh!
1663
01:19:07,762 --> 01:19:10,911
Nancy, saving your soul
is thanks enough.
1664
01:19:10,932 --> 01:19:13,914
Good will always
triumph over evil.
1665
01:19:13,946 --> 01:19:15,750
But I'm confident now
1666
01:19:15,770 --> 01:19:19,754
That we have seen the
last of this vile demon.
1667
01:19:19,785 --> 01:19:21,756
Mayii!
1668
01:19:21,787 --> 01:19:24,894
I'll be back!
1669
01:19:24,915 --> 01:19:30,160
Ohh, shit.
1670
01:19:30,191 --> 01:19:31,766
So, it happened.
1671
01:19:31,797 --> 01:19:34,070
Victory over the devil.
1672
01:19:34,101 --> 01:19:36,948
A great day for mankind.
1673
01:19:36,969 --> 01:19:40,274
And a pretty good day
for split pea soup.
1674
01:19:40,305 --> 01:19:43,277
Nancy and Braydon are
a happy couple again,
1675
01:19:43,308 --> 01:19:45,290
And the kids
are just fine.
1676
01:19:45,310 --> 01:19:47,417
But now they're taking
acting lessons.
1677
01:19:47,448 --> 01:19:49,294
But that's not important
right now.
1678
01:19:49,325 --> 01:19:51,264
I have a very special
guest here for you.
1679
01:19:51,285 --> 01:19:53,756
Nancy aglet.
1680
01:19:57,166 --> 01:19:59,272
Now, I'm sure many
of you have questions
1681
01:19:59,293 --> 01:20:01,837
You'd like to ask.
1682
01:20:01,858 --> 01:20:03,318
Yes?
1683
01:20:03,328 --> 01:20:05,372
How do you feel
after all of this?
1684
01:20:05,403 --> 01:20:08,083
I feel wonderful.
Thanks for asking.
1685
01:20:08,104 --> 01:20:10,012
Uh... Uh...
1686
01:20:10,043 --> 01:20:11,451
Yes?
1687
01:20:11,472 --> 01:20:12,984
No offense,
but I think
1688
01:20:13,005 --> 01:20:14,454
You're insulting
our intelligence.
1689
01:20:14,475 --> 01:20:15,831
I mean, honestly,
1690
01:20:15,851 --> 01:20:17,895
Do you expect us to
swallow this bullshit?
1691
01:20:23,484 --> 01:20:26,696
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
1692
01:20:26,696 --> 01:20:26,706
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
1693
01:20:26,706 --> 01:20:30,011
♪ re-re-re-repossessed
1694
01:20:30,032 --> 01:20:32,316
♪ oh, no
1695
01:20:42,347 --> 01:20:44,328
♪ he's coming back
1696
01:20:44,359 --> 01:20:46,497
♪ he's coming back
1697
01:20:46,528 --> 01:20:48,864
♪ he's coming back
1698
01:20:48,895 --> 01:20:50,907
♪ he's coming
1699
01:20:50,928 --> 01:20:53,066
♪ he's back,
thought he was gone, Jack ♪
1700
01:20:53,097 --> 01:20:55,380
♪ now, in fact, he's back,
and that as a black ♪
1701
01:20:55,401 --> 01:20:57,382
♪ panther prowlin',
bound to attack ♪
1702
01:20:57,403 --> 01:20:59,551
♪ a child lost in the wild
1703
01:20:59,572 --> 01:21:01,918
♪ this was his prey:
A girl Nancy ♪
1704
01:21:01,939 --> 01:21:03,524
♪ would she get away?
Or could she? Can she ♪
1705
01:21:03,545 --> 01:21:05,922
♪ find a way out?
I doubt ♪
1706
01:21:05,954 --> 01:21:08,258
♪ if she could,
'cause the devil's all about ♪
1707
01:21:08,279 --> 01:21:12,231
♪ evil power ruling intended,
bad intentions always demented ♪
1708
01:21:12,252 --> 01:21:14,233
♪ through a TV set he sent it
1709
01:21:14,254 --> 01:21:16,558
♪ soul destroyer,
and he meant it ♪
1710
01:21:16,589 --> 01:21:18,529
♪ like before,
the curse will persist ♪
1711
01:21:18,560 --> 01:21:20,406
♪ part one of the exorcist ♪
1712
01:21:20,437 --> 01:21:22,574
♪ but this time father mayii's
twice as pissed ♪
1713
01:21:22,595 --> 01:21:24,545
♪ because once again
Linda Blair got dissed ♪
1714
01:21:24,566 --> 01:21:26,547
♪ the devil
1715
01:21:26,568 --> 01:21:28,017
♪ he's coming
1716
01:21:28,038 --> 01:21:29,081
♪ back
1717
01:21:29,102 --> 01:21:31,083
♪ the devil
1718
01:21:31,104 --> 01:21:32,219
♪ he's coming
1719
01:21:32,251 --> 01:21:33,220
♪ back
1720
01:21:33,252 --> 01:21:35,087
♪ the devil
1721
01:21:35,118 --> 01:21:36,223
♪ he's coming
1722
01:21:36,244 --> 01:21:37,224
♪ back
1723
01:21:37,245 --> 01:21:39,226
♪ the devil
1724
01:21:39,258 --> 01:21:41,427
♪ he's coming
1725
01:21:41,458 --> 01:21:43,971
♪ he' back,
and he's on a rampage ♪
1726
01:21:43,992 --> 01:21:46,140
♪ like a madman through a crowd
with a 12-gauge ♪
1727
01:21:46,160 --> 01:21:48,569
♪ shotgun, but this one's
the terrible ruler of hell ♪
1728
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:50,446
♪ he makes lives unbearable
1729
01:21:50,477 --> 01:21:52,615
♪ ask father mayii
or father Luke ♪
1730
01:21:52,636 --> 01:21:54,982
♪ he seized Nancy's soul,
and he made her puke ♪
1731
01:21:55,003 --> 01:21:56,452
♪ up pea soup all over
a priest's suit ♪
1732
01:21:56,473 --> 01:21:58,287
♪ and I used to think
Linda Blair was cute ♪
1733
01:21:58,318 --> 01:22:00,456
♪ now she's haunted,
taken control of again ♪
1734
01:22:00,487 --> 01:22:03,000
♪ in the end, good will triumph
and always win ♪
1735
01:22:03,011 --> 01:22:04,992
♪ in the meantime, though,
you watch her head spin ♪
1736
01:22:05,013 --> 01:22:07,234
♪ it's 360, the face of sin
rapidly turnin' ♪
1737
01:22:07,254 --> 01:22:09,006
♪ bed posts burnin'
1738
01:22:09,027 --> 01:22:10,966
♪ it's gonna take a lot more
than some stupid silly sermon ♪
1739
01:22:10,998 --> 01:22:13,135
♪ to destroy him
or even annoy him ♪
1740
01:22:13,156 --> 01:22:15,951
♪ in his time of demonic,
chaotic mayhem ♪
1741
01:22:15,971 --> 01:22:17,483
♪ with the thrill of a chiller,
the devil ultimate killer ♪
1742
01:22:17,494 --> 01:22:20,153
♪ live on Ernest
and fannie rae weller's show ♪
1743
01:22:20,174 --> 01:22:23,489
♪ prime-time, so father mayii
and Luke are on the go ♪
1744
01:22:23,510 --> 01:22:26,190
♪ in the gyms and liftin',
movin', quickin' ♪
1745
01:22:26,211 --> 01:22:28,088
♪ buildin' confidence,
gettin' swift and ♪
1746
01:22:28,109 --> 01:22:30,163
♪ ready for butt-kickin'
at its best ♪
1747
01:22:30,184 --> 01:22:32,165
♪ 'cause Nancy's
been repossessed ♪
1748
01:22:32,186 --> 01:22:34,167
♪ the devil
1749
01:22:34,198 --> 01:22:35,303
♪ he's coming
1750
01:22:35,324 --> 01:22:36,304
♪ back
1751
01:22:36,325 --> 01:22:38,306
♪ the devil
1752
01:22:38,327 --> 01:22:39,474
♪ he's coming
1753
01:22:39,495 --> 01:22:40,475
♪ back
1754
01:22:40,496 --> 01:22:42,477
♪ the devil
1755
01:22:42,498 --> 01:22:43,645
♪ he's coming
1756
01:22:43,666 --> 01:22:44,646
♪ back
1757
01:22:44,667 --> 01:22:46,648
♪ the devil
1758
01:22:46,679 --> 01:22:48,014
♪ he's coming
1759
01:22:48,035 --> 01:22:49,515
♪ back
1760
01:23:05,730 --> 01:23:08,044
♪ third verse, could you
believe it gets worse? ♪
1761
01:23:08,065 --> 01:23:10,641
♪ still in effect,
this damn curse came demon ♪
1762
01:23:10,672 --> 01:23:12,215
♪ d-e-v-i-l
1763
01:23:12,236 --> 01:23:14,384
♪ well, how can we send
the punk back to hell? ♪
1764
01:23:14,405 --> 01:23:16,553
♪ was the question asked
by two on a mission ♪
1765
01:23:16,574 --> 01:23:18,555
♪ restorin' the soul
to God-given condition ♪
1766
01:23:18,576 --> 01:23:20,557
♪ of life to Nancy's
body and veins ♪
1767
01:23:20,588 --> 01:23:23,226
♪ 'cause Satan crawled under
her skin and into her brains ♪
1768
01:23:23,247 --> 01:23:26,563
♪ like a psychoanalyst
analyzin' only bad parts ♪
1769
01:23:26,584 --> 01:23:29,566
♪ hypnotizin' the rest of 'em,
gettin' the best of 'em ♪
1770
01:23:29,587 --> 01:23:31,370
♪ testin' 'em,
soon possessin' 'em ♪
1771
01:23:31,401 --> 01:23:33,080
♪ in no time at all
1772
01:23:33,101 --> 01:23:35,405
♪ he makes Hitler
look like Lucille ball ♪
1773
01:23:35,426 --> 01:23:37,553
♪ this ain't a joke
or some kind of dream ♪
1774
01:23:37,574 --> 01:23:39,576
♪ put yourself into her scene
1775
01:23:39,597 --> 01:23:41,724
♪ possessed by the demon,
can't even scream ♪
1776
01:23:41,745 --> 01:23:43,580
♪ Jason can't even
join the team ♪
1777
01:23:43,611 --> 01:23:46,124
♪ he's too nice.
The devil's scheme is mean ♪
1778
01:23:46,145 --> 01:23:47,761
♪ to the fullest extent,
or so it would seem ♪
1779
01:23:47,782 --> 01:23:50,097
♪ the only thing the priests
have goin' on ♪
1780
01:23:50,128 --> 01:23:52,297
♪ is generic holy water evian
1781
01:23:52,328 --> 01:23:54,435
♪ they threw it on and saw
the wrong choice was chosen ♪
1782
01:23:54,455 --> 01:23:56,437
♪ wanted to use the real stuff,
but the church was closed ♪
1783
01:23:56,468 --> 01:23:59,606
♪ if the devil's got you runnin'
so hot you appear on TV ♪
1784
01:23:59,638 --> 01:24:03,141
♪ while millions watch you
exercisin' your live exorcism ♪
1785
01:24:03,172 --> 01:24:05,122
♪ yo, you know
how you're livin' ♪
1786
01:24:05,133 --> 01:24:07,583
♪ lousy.
Want to get back full control? ♪
1787
01:24:07,604 --> 01:24:10,117
♪ get back your given soul?
1788
01:24:10,148 --> 01:24:11,587
♪ play rock and roll
1789
01:24:11,608 --> 01:24:13,287
♪ he hates that
1790
01:24:13,308 --> 01:24:15,456
♪ the devil
1791
01:24:15,476 --> 01:24:16,425
♪ he's coming
1792
01:24:16,446 --> 01:24:17,426
♪ back
1793
01:24:17,447 --> 01:24:19,428
♪ the devil
1794
01:24:19,449 --> 01:24:20,773
♪ he's coming
1795
01:24:20,794 --> 01:24:21,774
♪ back
1796
01:24:21,795 --> 01:24:23,776
♪ the devil
1797
01:24:23,797 --> 01:24:25,142
♪ he's coming
1798
01:24:25,163 --> 01:24:26,143
♪ back
1799
01:24:26,164 --> 01:24:28,072
♪ the devil
1800
01:24:28,104 --> 01:24:29,313
♪ he's coming
1801
01:24:29,334 --> 01:24:30,585
♪ back
121015
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