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1
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Richard!
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Snipach noodle! Morning.
3
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Yes. Can we talk?
4
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Sure. Have a seat. ... What the, uh ... E-ek-excuse me. ...
5
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Paula, the, the smoke detector is malfunctioning again.
6
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-Yes, Mr. Fish.
-Ling, one second.
7
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Do you think I'm stupid? You have your house wired the same as your office.
8
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Wh-wh-what are, what are you talking about?
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"Hello, Richard."
"What shall we watch on TV tonight?"
10
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"Hey, I love your tie."
11
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Well, it's ...
12
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"Can we talk?" ...
13
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That thing is voice-activated to go off every time I want to have a conversation!
14
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What, Ling? What ... Ling, that's, that's ridiculous.
15
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Really? Richard, we need to talk.
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Okay, that's, uh, that's a coincidence.
17
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How about this one?
18
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Marriage.
19
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Well, you know that, that, uh ... better safe than sorry.
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Bygones!
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³×ÀÌÆ® µå♪ó¸♪ 24
µ¿È£È¸ ¹ÛÀ¸·ÎÀÇ À¯ÃâÀ» »ï°¡ÇØÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
22
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Billy, when is our next meeting?
23
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You're not coming to the meetings, Richard.
24
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Oh, they like me.
25
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Richard.
26
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Oh, Ally, Ally, uh great.
27
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Risa Helms is here to see you.
28
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Remember the woman whose fiance you slept with right before you stood up at their wedding and ruined it?
29
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Yes, Richard, I remember. Wh-why is she here?
30
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Uh, something about making amends or getting even, I'm not sure which.
31
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Richard, I really need to talk to you.
32
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Absolutely. I'm a little jammed right now.
33
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Let's make some time this afternoon. ...
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Ally, here she comes.
35
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Ally.
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Risa.
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This is a summons and complaint.
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I'm suing you for intentional infliction of emotional distress.
39
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H-h-hello ...
40
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Bugger.
41
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She can't do that! Well, o-o-obviously she cannot do this, right?
42
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Well, you did destroy her wedding day.
43
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I was there. You were vicious!
44
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The minister said that if anybody knew of a reason why they shouldn't be married,
45
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let it be known!
46
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The question goes to your intent:
47
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Were you really trying to help her, or did you not want her to marry him
48
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because it was the best sex of your life?
49
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Excuse me?
50
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,317
-Hello, John said that the guy was a really good.
-O-okay!
51
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Look. She already noticed my deposition.
52
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-So I, I, I just need to...
-She deposed me as a witness.
53
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Me too. Vicious!
54
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I would suggest you get her testimony on record first.
55
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Ah! I'll have to get used to this whole unisex thing.
56
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Sandy, this is Georgia, Richard, Ally, Ling, Nelle, John.
57
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Sandy Hingle, my new assistant.
58
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-Hi.
-Hi.
59
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What?
60
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"What"?
61
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Yes. What's the problem?
62
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What is she? Nineteen?
63
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I interviewed several people. She was the best.
64
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Oh, I'm sure she was! And what was the criteria?
65
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She was the best candidate for the job, Georgia.
66
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Certainly you're not suggesting she be penalized for being attractive?
67
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I don't want her working for you.
68
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It is not your decision.
69
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I am your wife.
70
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This is work, not home!
71
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Home is going to be hell!
72
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Then, I will spend more time at the office! ...
73
00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:15,016
You going to hit me again?
74
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:18,073
I don't think that was in the spirit of what we're trying to accomplish here, Billy.
75
00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:20,197
Well, what are we trying to accomplish?
76
00:05:20,197 --> 00:05:21,498
The goal is clear:
77
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To develop a greater sensitivity to women, their needs and respect to...
78
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Yes. And why have we all come?
79
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Because we feel like we're failing.
80
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And who is it that has made us feel like a failure?
81
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Our wives!
82
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We are here because they emasculated us.
83
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How many of them are going to meetings trying to learn how to be better in bed?
84
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Billy
85
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We keep hearing that for men the relationship is oriented toward sex,
86
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and for women communication.
87
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Why the hell is it that we're out there trying to get better at communicating,
88
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while they don't make the slightest effort to improve the sex?
89
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And let's be honest.
90
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We're really here because we're not having our needs met!
91
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You know what?
92
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I've replayed various relationships I've had with different women,
93
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and I've polled a few friends about their past girlfriends,
94
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and there is one clear consensus:
95
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The women that treated us the best were the ones we treated the worst!
96
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,913
-All right, Billy.
-No, he's right about that!
97
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-We need to take back our lives!
-I've heard
98
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Let him talk. He's right. My wife is a total bitch!
99
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They don't like being dominated! Well, why the hell should we?
100
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Yeah! Yes!
101
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Three hundred people, my wedding day,
102
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and one of my bridesmaids announces she had sex with the groom.
103
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Then, she pulls me aside and tells me
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,while I'm standing there in my wedding gown,
105
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she proceeds to tell me, how good the sex was with Joel, how amazing he was.
106
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It was the height of cruelty.
107
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It was only meant to...
108
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My therapist tells me one day I'll get over it.
109
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... I'm not so sure.
110
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Do you doubt she was looking after your best interests?
111
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You know, at first I believed she was sincere, but now...
112
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-Risa!
-Ally!
113
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It's one thing to raise your hand and say, "Wait a second,"
114
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it's another to say into a microphone that you slept with him.
115
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And then, after we go into a back room to iron things out,
116
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we decide to go on with the ceremony.
117
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She does it again, twice.
118
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Whipper?
119
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Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just so awful.
120
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You know what, Ally?
121
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I still wish I had gone through with the ceremony.
122
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The fact that he had a last fling, I could have lived with that -- I had one.
123
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But no bride can ...
124
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How could I have ever gone through with the ceremony in that moment,
125
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after the things you said?
126
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Whipper!
127
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What do you think? Nineteen? Twenty? She's young enough to spank.
128
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We need her to sign a waiver on sexual harassment.
129
00:08:18,115 --> 00:08:21,317
Richard, I don't think those clauses are enforceable.
130
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Richard, I need to speak with you. I have a problem.
131
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Uh, all right. Can you state it quickly?
132
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I guess. I've been faking my orgasms.
133
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Bygones.
134
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How could you be faking it?
135
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Richard, I know it sounds bad, but please don't take it personally.
136
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What? D-don't take it personally? Y-you, you fake orgasms?
137
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Only just so you'll roll off and I can go to sleep.
138
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S-so, uh, what y-you're saying is, uh ... you're not, uh, sexually satisfied?
139
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Oh, I'm very satisfied. Trust me.
140
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It's just that you're not always there at the time.
141
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So, you, uh ... ?
142
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Sometimes.
143
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Richard, I want you to stop taking that Viagra.
144
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First of all, you don't need it.
145
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And second, I think it desensitizes you.
146
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Or you might be happy to go all night -- for me, after ten minutes, it gets old.
147
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So, this is why you, uh, uh, uh ... fake?
148
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Sweetheart, you and I both know that deep down, you're only interested in your own climax.
149
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So, go off the Viagra.
150
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We live in New England.
151
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Be a Minuteman again.
152
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It's colonial!
153
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I'll take care of myself.
154
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Settle?
155
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Ally, if this ever went to a jury...
156
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-I was being truthful. I...
-You stopped the wedding twice!
157
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Then, you tell the bride how great a lover her groom was.
158
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Three hundred people sitting there.
159
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I would say that that could cause some emotional distress.
160
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And I'd say it looks intentional.
161
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I am not going to pay her money.
162
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Ally, I know your heart was in the right place, but we got to deal with how it looks.
163
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A jury could smack you for over a million dollars.
164
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I am not going to settle.
165
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Ally, if you get hammered for seven figures, which is entirely possible,
166
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you can spend the rest of your life working for that woman.
167
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You have to settle.
168
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Oh, I can't believe this.
169
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There's one possible thing.
170
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-What?
-What?
171
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If we could show that her marrying him would have caused her even more emotional pain.
172
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How can we prove that?
173
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He'd have to be a witness for us.
174
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If he testifies that he knows the marriage would have been a disaster.
175
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He's not going to do that. Why would he?
176
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He probably won't. But it's worth asking.
177
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Richard.
178
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Sweetie.
179
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Buttons.
180
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Honey.
181
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Ling, I'm late for a meeting.
182
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You'll need to sign here ...
183
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Okay.
184
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And initial here ...
185
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And one more right there. ... Great.
186
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Excuse me.
187
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Sandy, could I have one second with Mr. Thomas?
188
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Sure.
189
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Good meeting with the men this morning?
190
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It was okay, if you could call them men.
191
00:11:36,993 --> 00:11:41,434
Billy, I, I don't know what's going on.
192
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:45,152
Obviously, you're ... you're going through something.
193
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Whatever it is, let's work on it.
194
00:11:48,713 --> 00:11:52,993
What's going on, Georgia ...
195
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I'm ... really angry at myself.
196
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Okay. Why?
197
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I think, uh ... I've allowed myself to become ...
198
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I think I've aspired to be what constitutes the modern idea of an evolved, secure man.
199
00:12:12,642 --> 00:12:16,712
He's, well ... he's not old-fashioned, I guess.
200
00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:22,313
And, uh ... I've been denying that I am old-fashioned.
201
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Which means?
202
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I want children.
203
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I don't believe in nannies raising kids.
204
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I think the mother should be at home.
205
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And uh ... I know this sounds terrible, but ... I want my needs to come first.
206
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That saying, "A man's home is his castle"
207
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it's maybe a stupid thing to want, but I do want it, and I'm sick of denying it.
208
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Sick of playing the sensitive male thing.
209
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,012
I'm just sick of it.
210
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Excuse me. Joel.
211
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I was in the neighborhood, so I...
212
00:13:29,036 --> 00:13:29,997
How's it going?
213
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"How's it going"?
214
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:33,394
-Are you angry?
-Angry?
215
00:13:33,394 --> 00:13:34,512
Wh-why should I be angry?
216
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Just because you ruined my life?
217
00:13:35,794 --> 00:13:36,553
I, I didn't...
218
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Just because the only woman I ever loved says she can't look at me...
219
00:13:39,273 --> 00:13:41,513
Look. I was her bridesmaid and her lawyer. I, I...
220
00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:42,473
Which means what?
221
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,036
Which means I had some duty to her.
222
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Duty?
223
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:47,393
That doesn't mean you jump up at a wedding and announce in front of every...
224
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The minister said to speak now or forever hold your penis.
225
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Peace, peace!
226
00:13:53,235 --> 00:13:54,755
What did you come back here for?
227
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To get waxed?
228
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Look.
229
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Don't flatter yourself.
230
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You weren't that good!
231
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That's not what you told her.
232
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I, I told her that because...
233
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:07,473
Because why?
234
00:14:07,473 --> 00:14:10,074
Because ...
235
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:12,314
All right, you were that good.
236
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But she told me that you didn't touch her like you knew what you were doing.
237
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:17,355
Excuse me?
238
00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:21,635
A-and I know ... that you know what you're doing.
239
00:14:21,635 --> 00:14:24,753
So, I figured that you must not have any passion for her.
240
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Wait a minute.
241
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She said that?
242
00:14:27,794 --> 00:14:30,514
She said I touch her like I don't know what I'm doing?
243
00:14:30,514 --> 00:14:31,673
Get over it, Joel. If...
244
00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:33,073
No! I won't get over it!
245
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I was about to be married to the woman I loved.
246
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You destroyed that.
247
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I won't get over it.
248
00:14:39,474 --> 00:14:43,833
Why are you here?
249
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I was wondering if you would be willing to testify that it was probably best that you didn't marry her.
250
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It ... it's ...
251
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Don't worry.
252
00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:03,795
Stop telling me not to worry. Cou-could you stop telling me that!
253
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:06,072
Richard, you were the one that said and I quote:
254
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,184
"The sex is good if it's good for me."
255
00:15:08,184 --> 00:15:10,155
John, to give is to receive.
256
00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:14,351
And if she's not getting, there's a danger she'll stop giving.
257
00:15:14,351 --> 00:15:15,994
Does Nelle always ...?
258
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,432
Well, I'm not sure.
259
00:15:17,432 --> 00:15:19,956
She makes little sounds:
260
00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:21,912
"Ooh, ooh."
261
00:15:21,912 --> 00:15:24,003
"Ooh, ooh"?
That's it?
262
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:27,393
Once she screamed, but she'd been stung by a bee.
263
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,253
Oh.
264
00:15:28,253 --> 00:15:31,193
You know, I'm not sure Nelle's even in favor of them.
265
00:15:31,193 --> 00:15:32,113
Orgasms?
266
00:15:32,113 --> 00:15:34,232
Oh, she's big on control.
267
00:15:34,232 --> 00:15:36,353
She doesn't like to let go.
268
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:39,323
I'm sorry now I even brought it up.
269
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:41,233
Look. We're talking about five seconds here, okay?
270
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,793
That's how long the big O lasts -- five seconds, sometimes six.
271
00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,003
This is so typical of men.
272
00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:46,953
What we want is affection, commitment, companionship,
273
00:15:46,953 --> 00:15:48,275
somebody to spend our days and nights with,
274
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:49,792
somebody to make us happy in life.
275
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:53,312
And instead, you've stayed focused on five to six seconds of a few major muscle contractions!
276
00:15:53,312 --> 00:15:55,232
You're a pathetic species!
277
00:15:55,232 --> 00:15:56,672
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Richard.
278
00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:01,393
I only wanted to get you off that drug so that we could be a normal couple again and get it over with during the commercial breaks!
279
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:04,055
This will teach me to be open.
280
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:10,772
I really did screw up. I, I thought that I did the right thing.
281
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,233
But, but maybe he's not a womanizer.
282
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,874
I mean, he seemed really devoted to her.
283
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:22,992
Maybe he's just a faithful man who, you know, just had to have me.
284
00:16:22,992 --> 00:16:24,019
I saw that!
285
00:16:24,019 --> 00:16:26,958
Well, I take it he won't testify on your behalf ...?
286
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:28,072
I think not.
287
00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:29,633
So, he really loves her?
288
00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,353
Yes.
289
00:16:31,353 --> 00:16:34,832
A-and I'm suddenly thinking that maybe he's not even a phenomenal lover.
290
00:16:34,832 --> 00:16:40,752
Maybe I was just so incredible and, you know, he kept up.
291
00:16:40,752 --> 00:16:42,353
I saw that!
292
00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:45,274
What if we broker them back together?
293
00:16:45,274 --> 00:16:45,915
Sorry?
294
00:16:45,915 --> 00:16:50,685
If he still loves her, getting them back together could save Ally a lot of money.
295
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:53,193
She could still sue, even if they reconcile.
296
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:57,794
Yes. But would she, if we help them reconcile?
297
00:16:57,794 --> 00:17:00,052
Nothing to lose.
298
00:17:16,091 --> 00:17:21,592
-Benny, could I have the bill?
-Very good, sir.
299
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:23,836
You didn't drink it.
300
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:26,352
Sorry?
301
00:17:26,352 --> 00:17:33,553
... Oh! Uh ... well, I don't ... um, drink actually. Not anymore.
302
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,192
I would ... sometimes I, uh, I come here and I order one.
303
00:17:37,192 --> 00:17:41,434
Oh. ... Why?
304
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:43,513
Well, uh ...
305
00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:48,033
I'm not sure that the explanation will make me seem any less strange than I already do.
306
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:49,409
But, um ...
307
00:17:49,409 --> 00:17:54,433
I used to have a nightcap at the end of every workday and, uh, they relaxed me.
308
00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:57,962
When I started to feel as if I needed the nightcap, I stopped.
309
00:17:57,962 --> 00:18:01,552
No. Now I understand why you would stop.
310
00:18:01,552 --> 00:18:03,203
Why come and order them?
311
00:18:03,203 --> 00:18:05,403
I was just getting to that.
312
00:18:05,403 --> 00:18:07,394
I, uh, don't miss the drinking.
313
00:18:07,394 --> 00:18:09,192
What I miss is ...
314
00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:13,793
that, um, relaxed sensation that I'd get somewhere between the first drink
315
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:19,314
when I was still stressed, and the third when I shouldn't be driving.
316
00:18:19,314 --> 00:18:23,792
Somehow by ordering a drink and sitting next to it and looking at it,
317
00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:26,634
it makes it easier to imagine that feeling.
318
00:18:26,634 --> 00:18:31,473
And imagined relaxation isn't so bad, either.
319
00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:33,441
You're right.
320
00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:36,873
Your explanation makes you seem no less strange.
321
00:18:36,873 --> 00:18:38,352
Yeah.
322
00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:44,552
Well ... you know, it's really the same principle as taking off your wedding band.
323
00:18:44,552 --> 00:18:45,874
It makes you no less married.
324
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:51,912
It just makes it easier to imagine feeling like you are.
325
00:18:51,912 --> 00:18:55,095
-Good night.
-Good night.
326
00:19:13,132 --> 00:19:14,273
Richard!
327
00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:15,995
Uh ... Ally here?
328
00:19:15,995 --> 00:19:18,754
No. No, I think she's trying to set up a meeting.
329
00:19:18,754 --> 00:19:21,193
Oh ... oh! Yeah. H-her case going to settle?
330
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,475
Well, we hope so.
331
00:19:22,475 --> 00:19:23,613
Yeah.
332
00:19:24,593 --> 00:19:26,964
So, how's life with you?
333
00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:30,434
Oh, it's just, it's great, yeah. Business is good now ...
334
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:34,032
Great. And how's Thing?
335
00:19:34,032 --> 00:19:36,119
Ling. Uh, she's, she's good.
336
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:39,355
-Good.
-Right ...
337
00:19:39,355 --> 00:19:40,252
Anything else?
338
00:19:40,252 --> 00:19:41,433
No. Just ...
339
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,033
Oh ... okay.
340
00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:47,395
Uh, you know ... uh, listen. Um, uh, tech-technical ... question.
341
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:51,872
Uh, for, for declaratory judgments, do you have to file, uh, a full complaint?
342
00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:55,433
Depends. If it's a legal issue, somtimes you can get away without it.
343
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:58,043
-That's what I thought.
-Yeah ...
344
00:19:58,043 --> 00:20:02,234
Oh, and when we were together, di-did you reach orgasm?
345
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,714
-What?
-Never mind. I ...
346
00:20:04,714 --> 00:20:06,664
Richard?
347
00:20:16,752 --> 00:20:19,073
Thing has been faking them.
348
00:20:19,073 --> 00:20:21,353
Oh ... And you're crushed?
349
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:24,432
Well, I mean, if a man isn't good in bed and rich, what is he?
350
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:28,993
Richard, you really don't have anything to be insecure about.
351
00:20:28,993 --> 00:20:29,603
Honest?
352
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:33,114
You could put me into orbit by just diddling my wattle.
353
00:20:33,114 --> 00:20:35,232
Well, I mean, that's different.
354
00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:36,194
I'm, I'm good with necks.
355
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:38,033
Yes, you are.
356
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,639
Hey, well, i-it's good to see you.
357
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:43,013
Yeah. You, too.
358
00:20:50,087 --> 00:20:54,394
If you love her as much as you say you do, what's not to try?
359
00:20:54,394 --> 00:20:55,475
She's willing to meet?
360
00:20:55,475 --> 00:20:57,594
Yes
361
00:20:57,594 --> 00:20:59,194
What time?
362
00:20:59,194 --> 00:21:00,395
Eight o'clock.
363
00:21:00,395 --> 00:21:03,075
Oh, here ...
364
00:21:03,075 --> 00:21:06,220
Ah, here's the address.
365
00:21:10,408 --> 00:21:12,033
Okay.
366
00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:18,754
Great! Good, I'll, I'll see you tonight.
367
00:21:18,754 --> 00:21:25,913
I did, I just, uh...
368
00:21:25,913 --> 00:21:35,633
A-assuming that you do love her like ... how could you ... you know, w-with me?
369
00:21:35,633 --> 00:21:37,236
I don't know.
370
00:21:37,236 --> 00:21:41,875
You're the only woman I've been with besides Risa in the last six years, and, and...
371
00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:46,234
I had no intention of having any last thing before I went down the aisle.
372
00:21:46,234 --> 00:21:48,633
So, what happened?
373
00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:50,153
I don't know what.
374
00:21:50,153 --> 00:21:53,518
I, I really can't explain it.
375
00:21:53,518 --> 00:22:05,355
I saw you looking at me, and I instantly ...
376
00:22:05,355 --> 00:22:07,632
Do you ordinarily have sex with strangers?
377
00:22:07,632 --> 00:22:08,963
No.
378
00:22:08,963 --> 00:22:11,314
First time ever?
379
00:22:11,314 --> 00:22:13,995
Yes.
380
00:22:13,995 --> 00:22:22,312
As for not touching Risa the way I touched you -- that's, that's true.
381
00:22:22,312 --> 00:22:30,553
The truth is, that was the first time I didn't feel a little inhibited when making love.
382
00:22:30,553 --> 00:22:32,595
I-it was the most incredible...
383
00:22:32,595 --> 00:22:33,617
Sex.
384
00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:36,074
We weren't making love, as much as we were ...
385
00:22:36,074 --> 00:22:44,240
Y-yeah. It was ...
386
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:53,483
Anyway, what happened in that car wash never happened before and it'll never happen again.
387
00:22:53,483 --> 00:22:59,873
That's good. Uh, so, um, eight o'clock?
388
00:22:59,873 --> 00:23:02,692
Yeah.
389
00:23:07,874 --> 00:23:16,090
¢ÜThere's a new man in town, and he's not putting down
390
00:23:16,090 --> 00:23:26,084
¢ÜThere's a new man in town, and he's not putting down
391
00:23:26,084 --> 00:23:31,932
¢ÜPeople listen up, there's something like ...
392
00:23:34,754 --> 00:23:35,794
What have you done?
393
00:23:35,794 --> 00:23:36,593
You like it?
394
00:23:36,593 --> 00:23:38,276
No.
395
00:23:38,276 --> 00:23:40,152
Y-you look like Billy Idol.
396
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:45,893
Well, I'm just plain Billy.
397
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:51,393
Okay. Clearly, you're losing your mind.
398
00:23:51,393 --> 00:23:52,552
No, I'm not.
399
00:23:52,552 --> 00:23:54,393
What is going on?
400
00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:58,472
I sat in the room listening to all those men apologize for who and what they are,
401
00:23:58,472 --> 00:24:02,354
and it made me realize I've been doing it my whole adult life!
402
00:24:02,354 --> 00:24:04,592
-And you are?
-A guy's guy!
403
00:24:04,592 --> 00:24:05,643
And you've been acting like?
404
00:24:05,643 --> 00:24:06,353
A woman's guy.
405
00:24:06,353 --> 00:24:09,196
A wussified piece of wet toast woman's guy.
406
00:24:09,196 --> 00:24:16,993
Well! There's a new man in town, Georgia!
407
00:24:16,993 --> 00:24:18,949
I hate the new man!
408
00:24:18,949 --> 00:24:20,754
Why did you have to say anything?
409
00:24:20,754 --> 00:24:22,512
Because I can't take it anymore!
410
00:24:22,512 --> 00:24:24,554
Nobody asked the women if they like Viagra.
411
00:24:24,554 --> 00:24:26,193
Why do you think Liddy Dole was running for President?
412
00:24:26,193 --> 00:24:28,552
Anything to get out of the house.
413
00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:31,713
Well, Ling, you don't tell a man he doesn't please you in bed.
414
00:24:31,713 --> 00:24:32,976
Better to deceive him?
415
00:24:32,976 --> 00:24:37,513
Yes, or to tell him what you want that'll make you satisfied.
416
00:24:37,513 --> 00:24:38,833
I want him to stop.
417
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:42,593
You don't even like having sex with him?
418
00:24:42,593 --> 00:24:43,955
I like it for about ten minutes.
419
00:24:43,955 --> 00:24:46,315
After that, I fake having 'cause when he thinks that's happening,
420
00:24:46,315 --> 00:24:49,593
he gets it over with on his end, and I can still watch Nightline.
421
00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:52,756
Okay. Why didn't you just continue faking it?
422
00:24:52,756 --> 00:24:54,526
Because I hate ending my day on a lie.
423
00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:56,884
Plus, I'm getting a little polyp on my throat.
424
00:24:56,884 --> 00:25:01,952
The doctor thinks it's from irritation, he doesn't want me to scream.
425
00:25:01,952 --> 00:25:04,472
I could go, "Ooh, ooh," like you, but ...
426
00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:07,233
Ooh ... ooh?
427
00:25:07,233 --> 00:25:11,192
John told Richard that's the sound you make, "Ooh, ooh."
428
00:25:11,192 --> 00:25:14,723
Really? What else did he say?
429
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:19,754
And on a hot summer night you'd be drowned out by a lone cricket.
430
00:25:19,754 --> 00:25:25,693
Oh, great. This is why I'm against honesty.
431
00:25:33,273 --> 00:25:36,114
Hello? Hello?
432
00:25:36,114 --> 00:25:40,795
Joel! You, you're early. It's, it's, it's only 7:30.
433
00:25:40,795 --> 00:25:47,914
7:30? Uh ... well, I, I didn't know how long it would take to get here.
434
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,234
Oh. Well, uh, come on in.
435
00:25:50,234 --> 00:25:51,797
Can I get you anything?
436
00:25:51,797 --> 00:25:55,462
Nope. Fine.
437
00:25:57,793 --> 00:25:59,153
I can't believe she's open to this.
438
00:25:59,153 --> 00:26:00,599
I can't even get her to return my calls.
439
00:26:00,599 --> 00:26:02,554
Well, Renee and Whipper are bringing her over.
440
00:26:02,554 --> 00:26:04,752
I promise.
441
00:26:04,752 --> 00:26:10,727
You know, I, I didn't figure you for a lawyer when we, you know ... met.
442
00:26:10,727 --> 00:26:13,073
Really? What did you think I did?
443
00:26:13,073 --> 00:26:16,636
I don't know. Uh, horseback-riding instructor ...
444
00:26:16,636 --> 00:26:17,593
Excuse me?
445
00:26:17,593 --> 00:26:21,872
Well, I figured nature or art, you know, something with soul to it.
446
00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:25,042
Well, lawyers can be very soulful people, you know.
447
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:27,635
Well, so what? Your, your dad, one? He, he make you to law school?
448
00:26:27,635 --> 00:26:33,273
He certainly did not. I went to law school ... because my boyfriend did.
449
00:26:33,273 --> 00:26:35,154
You two aren't together anymore, huh?
450
00:26:35,154 --> 00:26:37,073
Uh ... no.
451
00:26:37,073 --> 00:26:40,759
But uh, actually we, we work together.
452
00:26:40,759 --> 00:26:43,516
But, but why? What? How do you know we're not together anymore?
453
00:26:43,516 --> 00:26:49,683
Well, uh ... well, you made love like you're not with anyone, like, uh ...
454
00:26:49,683 --> 00:26:53,876
like you hadn't made love in five years or a hundred.
455
00:26:53,876 --> 00:26:56,396
Oh, well, I get plenty.
456
00:26:56,396 --> 00:26:57,993
Uh, y-you made love the same way.
457
00:26:57,993 --> 00:27:01,073
I mean, I, I could say two hundred years.
458
00:27:01,073 --> 00:27:05,793
Forever. But I already told you why.
459
00:27:05,793 --> 00:27:11,692
Oh yeah. ... Tell me again?
460
00:27:12,832 --> 00:27:16,592
So, I guess you're hoping if, if we get back together, she'll drop the lawsuit?
461
00:27:16,592 --> 00:27:20,192
Yes. But we wouldn't be doing this if you both didn't want to get back together.
462
00:27:20,192 --> 00:27:23,993
And, and you, you do want that, right?
463
00:27:23,993 --> 00:27:28,353
Yeah, yeah. Well, she's, she's the best woman I've ever met.
464
00:27:28,353 --> 00:27:32,073
You know, best.
465
00:27:32,073 --> 00:27:36,042
You know, I know this sounds crazy, but I really don't want to be in a room with you.
466
00:27:36,042 --> 00:27:37,592
I mean, not alone.
467
00:27:37,592 --> 00:27:40,130
I don't know if it's some spell or ...
468
00:27:40,130 --> 00:27:41,227
Can I wait outside?
469
00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:43,672
Sure.
470
00:27:43,672 --> 00:27:45,914
Is it, is it my imagination?
471
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,514
Or was I getting the same signals?
472
00:27:47,514 --> 00:27:48,515
I'm not sending any signals.
473
00:27:48,515 --> 00:27:49,793
A-are you kidding?
474
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:56,193
I-if I don't settle this lawsuit, I ... I don't ... mean to send anything.
475
00:27:56,193 --> 00:27:59,993
I-is there a lobby or a waiting area?
476
00:27:59,993 --> 00:28:05,115
You can, uh, sit out here at my, uh, assistant's desk.
477
00:28:05,115 --> 00:28:12,913
¢ÜHey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister
478
00:28:12,913 --> 00:28:17,076
¢ÜHe met Marmalade down in Old New Orleans
479
00:28:17,076 --> 00:28:20,513
¢ÜStruttin' her stuff on the street
480
00:28:20,513 --> 00:28:25,195
¢ÜShe said, "Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?"
481
00:28:25,195 --> 00:28:29,195
¢ÜHey hey, gitchy gitchy yaya dada
482
00:28:29,195 --> 00:28:33,233
¢ÜGitchy gitchy yaya here
483
00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:37,595
¢ÜMocha chocolata yaya
484
00:28:37,595 --> 00:28:41,131
¢ÜCreole Lady Marmalade
485
00:28:49,633 --> 00:28:52,085
Is it animal attraction or something?
486
00:28:52,085 --> 00:28:53,523
I, I, I don't know.
487
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:55,592
Ally.
488
00:28:55,592 --> 00:28:56,797
Oh god.
489
00:28:56,797 --> 00:29:00,434
Do you realize we've made love twice, that's the first time I've said your name?
490
00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:02,124
Yeah. Funny.
491
00:29:02,124 --> 00:29:05,433
Ally!
492
00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:06,633
Whipper!
493
00:29:06,633 --> 00:29:09,633
Renee is on her way up with Risa and her attorney.
494
00:29:09,633 --> 00:29:11,634
Great!
495
00:29:11,634 --> 00:29:16,635
Um, this is, uh ... um, Joel.
496
00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:17,634
Joel, this is Whipper.
497
00:29:17,634 --> 00:29:20,073
Hi.
498
00:29:20,073 --> 00:29:20,832
What?
499
00:29:20,832 --> 00:29:22,792
Did you take the stairs?
500
00:29:22,792 --> 00:29:23,633
Sorry?
501
00:29:23,633 --> 00:29:25,713
Uh, you just look a little flush.
502
00:29:25,713 --> 00:29:26,557
Flush?
503
00:29:26,557 --> 00:29:29,473
Oh, I, uh ... guess I'm a little nervous.
504
00:29:29,473 --> 00:29:30,873
Oh, it's, it's a good look!
505
00:29:30,873 --> 00:29:33,972
My ex used to get a look just like that right after sex.
506
00:29:38,113 --> 00:29:39,602
Sorry.
507
00:29:39,602 --> 00:29:44,272
That went down on the wrong windpipe, Life Saver, it, it went down on the wrong windpipe.
508
00:29:44,272 --> 00:29:46,556
I, I swallowed the wrong thing. Way. Oh god.
509
00:29:46,556 --> 00:29:49,243
-We're here!
-Oh! Good.
510
00:29:49,243 --> 00:29:56,553
Well, let's get it on! No, the, the, the meeting, sta-start the meeting.
511
00:29:56,553 --> 00:29:58,955
What's wrong?
512
00:29:58,955 --> 00:30:00,354
N-not-nothing's wrong.
513
00:30:00,354 --> 00:30:05,324
We're, we're, we're just about to reunite two lovers and it makes me a little,
514
00:30:05,324 --> 00:30:08,572
makes me a little giddy,
515
00:30:11,193 --> 00:30:13,102
COME ON!
516
00:30:17,552 --> 00:30:23,474
¢ÜWhenever I'm with him, something inside
517
00:30:23,474 --> 00:30:32,753
¢ÜStarts to burning, and I'm filled with desire
518
00:30:32,753 --> 00:30:36,237
¢ÜIt'll be a devil in me,or is this the way love's supposed to be?
-Make it a foursome?
519
00:30:36,237 --> 00:30:37,213
Sure.
520
00:30:41,033 --> 00:30:46,713
¢ÜI can't keep from crying, it's tearing me apart
521
00:30:46,713 --> 00:30:53,973
¢ÜWhenever he calls my name so slow, sweet and plain ...
522
00:30:56,995 --> 00:30:58,032
Is something the matter?
523
00:30:58,032 --> 00:30:58,874
No.
524
00:30:58,874 --> 00:31:02,873
It's just, seeing you dance might arouse me to the point where I can't control myself,
525
00:31:02,873 --> 00:31:05,533
and I'll explode right there on the floor and go,
526
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,872
"Ooh, ooh"
527
00:31:07,872 --> 00:31:11,273
with no cricket to drown me out.
528
00:31:11,273 --> 00:31:13,513
How dare you mimic the sound I make in bed?
529
00:31:13,513 --> 00:31:15,555
Do you want to know what you sound like?
530
00:31:15,555 --> 00:31:16,552
-Uh, I do.
-Richard!
531
00:31:16,552 --> 00:31:18,594
-Go away!
-Let's go.
532
00:31:18,594 --> 00:31:20,555
I, I was just sharing with Richard.
533
00:31:20,555 --> 00:31:22,145
I wasn't disparaging you.
534
00:31:22,145 --> 00:31:23,353
Ooh, ooh?
535
00:31:23,353 --> 00:31:23,913
N-no, but no.
536
00:31:23,913 --> 00:31:26,432
Richard was, was telling me about his problems with Ling,
537
00:31:26,432 --> 00:31:29,673
and, and men, sometimes they share secrets about ...
538
00:31:29,673 --> 00:31:31,356
And, but he, no, he's my best friend.
539
00:31:31,356 --> 00:31:33,634
Look. I, I don't want him to be your best friend, okay?
540
00:31:33,634 --> 00:31:38,034
John, and I, and I certainly don't want you telling him secrets about our intimacy!
541
00:31:38,034 --> 00:31:42,532
Look. You know, I, I, I need some space tonight.
542
00:31:50,434 --> 00:31:52,274
I'm going home. Coming?
543
00:31:52,274 --> 00:31:54,135
She's in need.
544
00:31:56,914 --> 00:31:58,552
Krispy Kreme ...
545
00:31:58,552 --> 00:32:00,887
The thing is, women talk.
546
00:32:00,887 --> 00:32:03,192
But they don't like it when men talk.
547
00:32:03,192 --> 00:32:04,200
Don't feel bad, John.
548
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,073
At least you know she's serious about you.
549
00:32:06,073 --> 00:32:07,180
Well, how so?
550
00:32:07,180 --> 00:32:09,513
She's starting to dictate who you can have for friends.
551
00:32:09,513 --> 00:32:10,512
Does you wife do that?
552
00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:11,792
Oh boy.
553
00:32:11,792 --> 00:32:13,153
Would she object to your saying what?
554
00:32:13,153 --> 00:32:15,194
Probably. She objects to everything.
555
00:32:15,194 --> 00:32:20,156
Ah. Well, that would explain her current expression.
556
00:32:20,156 --> 00:32:20,994
Georgia ...
557
00:32:20,994 --> 00:32:23,091
I'm going to find Richard.
558
00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,980
You want me to leave you.
559
00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:31,353
I beg your pardon?
560
00:32:31,353 --> 00:32:33,074
When you do go for therapy,
561
00:32:33,074 --> 00:32:37,073
your shrink is probably going to tell you this is about you not liking your life.
562
00:32:37,073 --> 00:32:41,914
Then, third or fourth session, he'll crunch it to your not liking your marriage.
563
00:32:41,914 --> 00:32:47,993
And when he or she figures out, you are too nice a guy to ever leave your wife.
564
00:32:47,993 --> 00:32:57,313
He'll realize that you are doing all this to get her to leave you.
565
00:32:57,313 --> 00:33:02,995
Georgia, that's ridiculous.
566
00:33:02,995 --> 00:33:04,654
I love you.
567
00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:08,172
Yeah.
568
00:33:15,353 --> 00:33:20,115
Loving somebody, that doesn't mean that you just get over the pain and the distrust.
569
00:33:20,115 --> 00:33:22,794
But, Risa, you did the same thing I did.
570
00:33:22,794 --> 00:33:24,955
And it was wrong. It was also meaningless.
571
00:33:24,955 --> 00:33:26,834
And you think mine was it?
572
00:33:26,834 --> 00:33:29,474
I don't even know her. Did you think it had meaning?
573
00:33:29,474 --> 00:33:30,632
The way she talked about it.
574
00:33:30,632 --> 00:33:32,996
Yeah, yeah, sure, it, it was great sex.
575
00:33:32,996 --> 00:33:35,017
-B-but that's all it was...
-Come on!
576
00:33:35,017 --> 00:33:36,396
-You don't make love like that!
-Ally!
577
00:33:36,396 --> 00:33:38,402
-Ally!
-Okay. You're right.
578
00:33:38,402 --> 00:33:39,202
You're right.
579
00:33:39,202 --> 00:33:40,992
Well, maybe you and she ought to get married.
580
00:33:40,992 --> 00:33:42,074
You think about that, Joel?
581
00:33:42,074 --> 00:33:46,053
Risa, she's not the mother of my children.
582
00:33:52,518 --> 00:33:53,592
Then, tell me this.
583
00:33:53,592 --> 00:33:57,443
When I had my little bachelorette fling, it was purely physical.
584
00:33:57,443 --> 00:34:00,194
The man didn't even have a face to me.
585
00:34:00,194 --> 00:34:02,934
Did she have a face?
586
00:34:07,793 --> 00:34:10,036
I won't lie, Risa.
She had a face.
587
00:34:10,036 --> 00:34:19,832
And the...the truth is...and the...truth is, before you got here tonight...
588
00:34:19,832 --> 00:34:23,072
Windpipe. Sorry. Uh, Joel, can I speak to you for a second?
589
00:34:23,072 --> 00:34:23,636
-Ally!
-What?
590
00:34:23,636 --> 00:34:23,994
Ally!
591
00:34:23,994 --> 00:34:24,963
Oh, it'll take one second.
592
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:29,892
What's a lousy second when they have a whole lifetime together?
593
00:34:35,443 --> 00:34:37,753
Are you about to tell her what we just did?
594
00:34:37,753 --> 00:34:40,004
I don't know. I just feel I should be honest.
595
00:34:40,004 --> 00:34:43,756
That honesty would be the end of it, Joel. Trust me, as a woman.
596
00:34:43,756 --> 00:34:48,483
If she hears that it happened again, it's over.
597
00:34:48,483 --> 00:34:52,157
Yeah, maybe you're right. Okay.
598
00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:53,392
No.
599
00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:57,993
Just, uh, one, one, um ... more thing.
600
00:34:57,993 --> 00:35:04,513
At the risk of losing a million-plus dollars and having to work the rest of my life out of bankruptcy:
601
00:35:04,513 --> 00:35:14,716
Are, are you sure that you and me, well, you know, aren't, uh, right for...Oh, god.
602
00:35:14,716 --> 00:35:19,112
Ally, you're a lawyer, I'm a manager at a car wash.
603
00:35:19,112 --> 00:35:22,074
Well, that doesn't mean. I mean, we seem pretty compatible.
604
00:35:22,074 --> 00:35:25,598
Yeah, physically. I didn't even go to college.
605
00:35:25,598 --> 00:35:29,912
I, I was just...I mean, are you sure that it isn't worth seeing if...?
606
00:35:29,912 --> 00:35:33,352
Well, we were so compatible, Joel.
607
00:35:33,352 --> 00:35:36,952
Ally, I really do love her.
608
00:35:36,952 --> 00:35:40,393
Okay, okay ... okay.
609
00:35:40,393 --> 00:35:41,833
We should go back.
610
00:35:41,833 --> 00:35:42,554
Yeah.
611
00:35:42,554 --> 00:35:52,832
Uh, just, just one, one ... last ... kiss.
612
00:35:52,832 --> 00:35:53,753
Sorry.
613
00:35:53,753 --> 00:35:55,513
No. That's okay.
614
00:35:55,513 --> 00:35:57,574
Just, just hold on.
615
00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:02,323
-Ally!
-Sorry
616
00:36:02,323 --> 00:36:08,232
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! ...
617
00:36:08,232 --> 00:36:12,293
You know, you, you go, and, and I'll wait for you ... Stop it!
618
00:36:18,833 --> 00:36:25,141
I said every plaintiff has a duty, I mean, just like, you know, this ...
619
00:36:33,552 --> 00:36:36,133
to do what he's supposed to do.
620
00:36:47,634 --> 00:36:50,314
Oh, on your third drink already.
621
00:36:50,314 --> 00:36:52,074
Well, hello.
622
00:36:52,074 --> 00:36:53,875
-Hi.
-Hi.
623
00:36:53,875 --> 00:36:56,273
Uh, I was just about to leave, but ...
624
00:36:56,273 --> 00:36:59,394
well, I guess maybe I could stick around and not drink one more.
625
00:36:59,394 --> 00:37:01,472
My treat.
626
00:37:01,472 --> 00:37:06,193
What uh, uh, what brings you here on a Friday night?
627
00:37:06,193 --> 00:37:09,792
Maybe the same as you.
628
00:37:09,792 --> 00:37:15,713
I came to sit next to something I know I can't really have.
629
00:37:15,713 --> 00:37:19,232
My name is Georgia.
630
00:37:19,232 --> 00:37:22,563
That's a beautiful name, Georgia.
631
00:37:22,563 --> 00:37:25,602
Mine's George.
632
00:37:25,602 --> 00:37:28,875
George, you'll note my wedding ring is on.
633
00:37:28,875 --> 00:37:31,953
I don't want you to get any wrong ideas if I buy you a drink.
634
00:37:31,953 --> 00:37:33,472
Well, I'm old enough to be your father.
635
00:37:33,472 --> 00:37:38,354
So, if I were going to make a move on you, it'd take the form of a lecture.
636
00:37:38,354 --> 00:37:40,913
If it made sense, I'd accept a lecture.
637
00:37:40,913 --> 00:37:46,313
Okay. Uh ... pick a topic. I'm very well-versed.
638
00:37:46,313 --> 00:37:51,353
Actually...
639
00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:55,673
I'd like to dance.
640
00:37:55,673 --> 00:37:58,252
A dance I could accommodate.
641
00:38:04,272 --> 00:38:05,753
We're just glad things worked out.
642
00:38:05,753 --> 00:38:08,312
Thank you.
643
00:38:08,312 --> 00:38:09,833
I know you are.
644
00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:11,395
Yes.
645
00:38:11,395 --> 00:38:14,072
Goodbye, Ally. I hope to never see you again.
646
00:38:14,072 --> 00:38:19,634
Yeah. Uh, have a great life, Risa.
647
00:38:19,634 --> 00:38:21,972
Bye.
648
00:38:25,793 --> 00:38:27,333
Goodbye.
649
00:38:39,792 --> 00:38:42,732
-Hey.
-Whip, hey.
650
00:38:49,953 --> 00:38:56,192
You didn't come to my office this morning looking for Ally, did you?
651
00:38:56,192 --> 00:38:59,963
I miss you, too.
652
00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:03,872
I adore Ling.
You know, sometimes ...
653
00:39:03,872 --> 00:39:08,272
You know, many women have looked me in the eye and said,
654
00:39:08,272 --> 00:39:11,433
"Richard, the problem with you is there's no there there."
655
00:39:11,433 --> 00:39:14,512
Ling is the first to say it referring to my penis.
656
00:39:14,512 --> 00:39:18,512
She has no idea how to nurture you.
657
00:39:18,512 --> 00:39:20,475
Where is she now?
658
00:39:20,475 --> 00:39:22,564
Uh ... she's with Nelle.
659
00:39:22,564 --> 00:39:24,393
Nelle's upset about something.
660
00:39:24,393 --> 00:39:29,993
So she, uh, she's ... uh, with her.
661
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:31,833
And you're upset about something.
662
00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:33,291
Why isn't she with you?
663
00:39:36,873 --> 00:39:38,472
Uh, we settled Ally's case.
664
00:39:38,472 --> 00:39:39,913
Oh, yeah!
665
00:39:39,913 --> 00:39:47,313
Come on down to the bar with us. I'll buy you a drink.
666
00:39:47,313 --> 00:39:49,952
You're a great lady, Whipper.
667
00:39:49,952 --> 00:39:54,073
I'm sorry I never said that enough.
668
00:39:54,073 --> 00:39:56,352
Do you ever miss it?
669
00:39:56,352 --> 00:40:00,174
-What?
-You know ...?
670
00:40:03,073 --> 00:40:06,272
Oh, goood!
671
00:40:06,272 --> 00:40:09,272
It's even more creased than before!
672
00:40:09,272 --> 00:40:11,353
Go to it!
673
00:40:11,353 --> 00:40:14,353
Uh, no no no no, I can't, I, uh, you know, I can't, I can't ...
674
00:40:14,353 --> 00:40:20,472
Richarrrd, go to my wattle.
675
00:40:20,472 --> 00:40:21,353
It's wrong.
676
00:40:21,353 --> 00:40:26,752
Yes, it is. It would be very bad.
677
00:40:26,752 --> 00:40:28,953
Are you a bad boy?
678
00:40:28,953 --> 00:40:30,011
No.
679
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:34,314
You look like a bad, bad boy ...
680
00:40:34,314 --> 00:40:37,396
Bad boy ...
681
00:40:37,396 --> 00:40:40,371
Richard ... Richard ...
682
00:40:47,152 --> 00:40:58,352
¢ÜLove will abide, take things in stride
683
00:40:58,352 --> 00:41:07,995
¢ÜSounds like good advice, but there's no one at my side
684
00:41:07,995 --> 00:41:21,114
¢ÜAnd time washes clean love's wounds unseen
685
00:41:21,114 --> 00:41:29,843
¢ÜThat's what someone told me, but I don't know what it means
686
00:41:29,843 --> 00:41:42,115
¢Ü'Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine
687
00:41:42,115 --> 00:41:55,131
¢ÜAnd I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time
52632
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