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For the past
few years Ricky Gervais,
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00:00:19,565 --> 00:00:22,233
Stephen Merchant,
and Karl Pilkington
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00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:24,301
have been meeting
regularly
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00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,726
for a series
of pointless conversations.
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00:00:26,788 --> 00:00:28,689
This is one of them.
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00:00:28,747 --> 00:00:30,214
- Testing.
- Is that all right?
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Hello and welcome
to "the Ricky Gervais show"
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with me, Ricky Gervais,
Stephen Merchant...
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- Hello. - ...
And the little round-headed buffoon
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that is Karl Pilkington.
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Hi.
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00:00:49,707 --> 00:00:53,143
we do of course, Rick, every
week get thousands of emails.
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00:00:53,218 --> 00:00:56,086
Emily from New York has asked
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00:00:56,154 --> 00:00:58,489
Karl, if you're on
a sinking ship
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00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,385
or you were in
a burning building
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00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:02,876
and you re with myself
and Ricky,
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00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,672
but you could only
save one of us...
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00:01:04,728 --> 00:01:06,462
I don't know why that's
the case,
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00:01:06,516 --> 00:01:08,183
but you can only save
one of us... who would you save?
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00:01:08,238 --> 00:01:09,805
Would it be Ricky or
would it be me?
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- I think it's a two-man dinghy.
- Right, okay.
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00:01:11,849 --> 00:01:14,451
- Possibly. - And we're trapped and
he knows that if he stays there
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00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:17,118
to get both our legs out
from under this thing...
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- The girder.
- Yeah... he dies.
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00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,038
So he's got... so he's got room...
He's got time to save one.
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00:01:21,097 --> 00:01:22,731
It's obviously me.
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It's hard to say,
isn't it, at this point?
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What, 'cause Steve's in
the room, you mean?
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Just because we don't know
what the situation is.
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Okay. Well, let's say we're
on a sinking ship, all right?
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So you're gonna have to rescue
one of us... drag us into the...
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It's... it's going under.
You know...
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00:01:38,144 --> 00:01:40,311
You know in 30 seconds, okay,
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00:01:40,371 --> 00:01:42,972
this ship's going to drag you
down and you're gonna die, right?
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00:01:43,038 --> 00:01:46,073
And our legs are trapped.
And you got enough time
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to untangle one set of legs.
Whose legs do you untangle?
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Just because
my legs are long
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does not necessarily mean
it's more complicated.
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No, it's exactly the same amount of time.
Just have to make a choice.
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Terrible...
A terrible choice
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that Steve would, would not,
you know hate you for.
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Well, listen listen...
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He's gonna drown in 30 seconds.
Forget him.
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00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:09,946
Bear in mind this, Karl:
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You are gonna be stuck in
a dinghy with Ricky Gervais.
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And who knows how long
that's gonna take?
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00:02:14,191 --> 00:02:16,359
Think of all the head squeezing
that's gonna be going on,
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00:02:16,419 --> 00:02:19,221
the comments, the...
And do you honestly think that he's gonna...
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00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:21,323
If there was any provisions, that he's
gonna split them evenly with you?
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00:02:21,381 --> 00:02:24,283
I mean, he's gonna have
drunk all the water
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00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,186
and it's only gonna be
about a half an hour in.
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The food's gonna be gone.
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00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:31,098
Look at his gut. Look how much, you
know, the food he's gonna have to eat...
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00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:33,071
- The baked beans that you've
got on board. - Come on.
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00:02:33,127 --> 00:02:34,494
Whereas me, you know
how generous I am.
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00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,279
- I'm always sort of helping...
- Oh, there we go.
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Karl, he's... I think he's put
the nail in his own coff there.
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"You know how
generous I am, Karl."
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Let's talk about that Karl.
Come on. Think about that one.
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Yeah, I mean, have you forgot
about that, Steve?
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What? What?
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00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:51,251
The time... the time
when we went for a coffee?
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00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:55,557
We sort of had a heated debate
about the 50 pence change.
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00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,809
Yeah, you owed me 50p.
And you decided
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00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:01,182
you didn't want to give it
to me 'cause it was only 50p.
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00:03:01,243 --> 00:03:03,144
And my point was it's not
a question of 50p;
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00:03:03,202 --> 00:03:06,037
it's the fact that it's not your
decision to decide not to give it to me.
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00:03:06,104 --> 00:03:07,605
If I wanted to be generous
that's my decision,
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00:03:07,657 --> 00:03:09,725
but you can't go,
"oh, it's only 50p, Steve."
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00:03:09,783 --> 00:03:11,017
It's my decision to...
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00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,768
But you've just given him
a free keg of beer.
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- Yeah.
- No, but... yes, but that was...
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That did not come to you.
You didn't pay for the free keg of beer.
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It was a promotional thing
that was sent to you.
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- Doesn't matter.
- It's the same thing
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00:03:21,429 --> 00:03:23,897
as the way I gave Suzanne my
leaving present from my last job.
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A lot of people may not
be aware of this
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00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,478
if they haven't heard of
something like this before.
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00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:28,459
But, yes.
You had a gift from your work
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'cause you were leaving after
how many years of service,
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00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,409
which you then gave straight
to your girlfriend
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without telling her that it'd been
received from people at work.
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00:03:35,436 --> 00:03:37,837
Doesn't matter. She wanted the camera.
It's the same thing as you...
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00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:41,469
You wanted that lager that I got for free.
That doesn't cost you anything.
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00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:42,845
It doesn't matter where
I got it from.
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So you now decide
because you've given me
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a free keg of lager that you can
now say, "oh actually, I'm not... "
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00:03:47,047 --> 00:03:50,216
You know, "in the future, I'll just
take your money, Steve, on a whim"?
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00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:53,389
Listen, it's...
You're rockin' the dinghy.
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Karl, have some of my cheese.
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00:03:55,924 --> 00:03:58,760
Can you imagine if he... can you
imagine he would ever say that?
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00:03:58,827 --> 00:04:01,729
Do you imagine him ever ever
offering you any of his cheese?
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00:04:01,797 --> 00:04:03,264
Who you gonna save, Karl, mate?
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00:04:03,317 --> 00:04:05,651
- I don't want to say.
- Well, think about it and...
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00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,648
I might do a sort of
a for-and-against something
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00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,084
and then sort of,
"so the conclusion is..."
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00:04:11,147 --> 00:04:12,480
Okay, all right.
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00:04:14,489 --> 00:04:16,857
Well, I've been waiting
for this for a week.
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00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:19,353
It's a regular feature now
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when we read from Karl's diary.
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Karl decided to keep a diary.
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He's gone through with it.
I can see it there.
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00:04:26,673 --> 00:04:31,344
It's massive. It's a huge desk diary
that he has to carry around with him.
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And he... the pages are
getting full up.
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- You're... you're really
keeping to this. - Yeah.
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Right, this is extracts from
Karl's diary.
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"Did podcast and went for an
Italian with Ricky and Steve."
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00:04:41,761 --> 00:04:44,029
Italian place is good.
We've been there a few times.
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00:04:44,091 --> 00:04:46,092
I always have the same thing...
Spaghetti.
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00:04:46,149 --> 00:04:47,683
Can't remember what
everyone else had.
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00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:50,003
Last time we went there, Steve had
little octopuses with pasta.
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00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:51,565
You could see that they
were octopuses;
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00:04:51,617 --> 00:04:53,351
they hadn't been cut up
or anything.
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00:04:53,406 --> 00:04:56,608
My rule is that I only eat stuff
that looks nice when it's alive... "
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00:04:59,887 --> 00:05:03,123
"... a cow, a chicken,
some fish.
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00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:05,463
An octopus is
an odd-looking thing alive,
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even worse when it's dead
and limp.
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00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:09,915
It looks like it just shouldn't
have been set in the spaghetti."
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00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:14,849
Yeah, I agree.
I agree with that.
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00:05:14,941 --> 00:05:16,908
"Ricky drew another
picture of my head."
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00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,967
We've given a few of them
away as prizes,
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00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:22,961
but he draws so many of them that
they won't be worth as much anymore.
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00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:25,977
Everyone will eventually
have one,
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00:05:26,045 --> 00:05:28,313
like those pictures of
the boy crying
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that caused houses to burn
down in the 1980s."
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00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:32,810
- What does that mean?
- What you talking about?
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00:05:32,863 --> 00:05:35,532
It's just some kid.
My aunt lenore had one.
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00:05:35,598 --> 00:05:39,101
And it was just, like, a kid
with a blue jumper on
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00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:41,044
and his... it's like a painting,
not a photo.
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00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,801
- Yeah. Exactly, yeah.
- And he's just crying.
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00:05:42,855 --> 00:05:45,523
Like the chocolate box, a really
awful sort of sugary...
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00:05:45,589 --> 00:05:47,256
And what happened is
they found out
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00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:49,979
that a lot of the houses
were being set on fire
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00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:53,113
or burst into flames, whatever.
And the weird thing was...
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00:05:53,183 --> 00:05:56,052
- Oh, it's bullocks. -... every house
that burnt down had that photo.
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00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,088
Yeah, 'cause every
house had that picture
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00:05:58,145 --> 00:06:01,047
in the fucking '70s and '80s,
idiot.
138
00:06:01,115 --> 00:06:03,283
It's like,
"we're linking it to sinks.
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00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:05,878
Every house that's ever burned
down had a sink."
140
00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:08,310
You're talking shit again.
Carry on.
141
00:06:08,372 --> 00:06:10,206
"Wednesday:
Saw a homeless bloke."
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00:06:10,263 --> 00:06:13,932
I'm surprised that no companies have
thought about sponsoring the homeless...
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00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:15,410
Something like
a clothing company.
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00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,328
Give them some clothes that
have an advert on the back.
145
00:06:17,384 --> 00:06:18,818
Everyone's a winner."
146
00:06:18,869 --> 00:06:20,470
- Good idea.
- Not bad is it?
147
00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:22,925
"Got on the tube to camden.
Read in a free newspaper"
148
00:06:22,988 --> 00:06:25,823
that hedgehogs could be
gone by 2025.
149
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:28,959
I think I've seen more dead
hedgehogs than alive ones anyway.
150
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,797
So I don't think
I'll miss 'em.
151
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:35,447
Went round to Ricky's house
and had a game of pool.
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00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:37,644
It should have been nice and relaxing,
but Jane gave me some cake
153
00:06:37,704 --> 00:06:40,339
and Ricky said I can't play pool if
my hands are all sticky from cake."
154
00:06:40,404 --> 00:06:42,539
It was the sugar...
And it wasn't that, either.
155
00:06:42,598 --> 00:06:44,566
After he finished it,
they weren't just sticky;
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00:06:44,623 --> 00:06:47,024
he was licking his finger,
sucking his fingers off,
157
00:06:47,088 --> 00:06:50,123
and then was gonna pick up pool cues
and touch things. And I was thinking,
158
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:53,128
"go and wash your hands after licking your hands.
You're not a cat."
159
00:06:53,197 --> 00:06:56,132
"This turned into an argument when I
said I didn't want to wash my hands."
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00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:58,402
- Why didn't he?
- "He goes for a piss all the time
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00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:01,731
without washing his hands
and then squeezes my head.
162
00:07:01,804 --> 00:07:06,040
"I know I prefer to have lemon cake
crumbs on my head than knob juice."
163
00:07:10,479 --> 00:07:12,446
"Was gonna do a crossword
but I'm tired
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00:07:12,504 --> 00:07:13,971
and have learned enough today."
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What have you learned?
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Well, the stuff about
hedgehogs and that.
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Oh God.
168
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,968
"Was on my way to
a mate's and I got on a train."
169
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:27,594
Got close to his station,
but realized I needed a wee.
170
00:07:27,658 --> 00:07:29,893
Was about to go in a cubicle
when a blind man with a dog,
171
00:07:29,954 --> 00:07:32,556
who was bumbling his way through
the walkway, came around.
172
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,955
I said, 'are you after
the toilet?' He said, 'yeah.'
173
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:36,618
i said, 'it's on your right.'
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00:07:36,671 --> 00:07:38,739
i shouldn't have let him go
first as he took ages
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00:07:38,797 --> 00:07:41,933
and it would be my stop soon.
The dog waited outside the cubicle.
176
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,538
I was gonna stroke it,
177
00:07:43,591 --> 00:07:46,526
but then I remembered someone
telling me that you shouldn't."
178
00:07:46,594 --> 00:07:47,561
Why not?
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00:07:47,607 --> 00:07:49,341
Because something to do with
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00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:53,799
the owner should be the only one who...
Who sort of deals with that dog.
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00:07:53,885 --> 00:07:55,953
- And you shouldn't sort of...
- Well, you shouldn't stroke it
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00:07:56,011 --> 00:07:57,712
because you're covered in
fucking lemon cake.
183
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,734
Well, just because,
you know, if you...
184
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:01,860
If you stroke it and that,
it... it might like,
185
00:08:01,919 --> 00:08:04,620
like me and want to go off with me.
And he'll come out and be lost and stuff.
186
00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:05,887
Yeah.
187
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:12,437
People who have sent this in, including
Paul "the party animal" Parker...
188
00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:14,251
For some reason we've just
assumed he's in school.
189
00:08:14,306 --> 00:08:16,607
I don't think there's any
actual proof of that. But I...
190
00:08:16,669 --> 00:08:20,338
I reckon he left in June and he's
doing sort of bits and pieces.
191
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,717
But he's still a party animal.
192
00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:24,646
Do you think, I mean, do you
think he can hold down a job?
193
00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:28,338
- Or is he just partying so hard that
he... - He can hold down the job.
194
00:08:28,414 --> 00:08:30,182
He often arrives late.
195
00:08:30,237 --> 00:08:33,139
And the boss who's in over him
will go, "parker,
196
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:36,176
you're late again!
" He goes, "yeah, talk to the hand."
197
00:08:36,246 --> 00:08:38,413
I think that he's
the sort of guy that he can...
198
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:41,376
That he'll just happily say, "I
can survive on four hours sleep."
199
00:08:41,444 --> 00:08:42,978
- Yeah. - "Sometimes...
I've never slept at all."
200
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:46,833
But I think he comes in with
his headphones blaring, right,
201
00:08:46,911 --> 00:08:50,347
on a... on a skateboard.
And the bloke goes up to him... the old bloke,
202
00:08:50,423 --> 00:08:52,123
right, the old fuddy-duddy
bloke, who goes,
203
00:08:52,178 --> 00:08:55,246
"you... you stupid idiot.
You call this... "
204
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:58,786
He goes, "chill out, man.
" And in two minutes, he's got him dancing.
205
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:01,161
Oh, I know what he's like.
206
00:09:01,223 --> 00:09:02,790
Yeah, he is just like...
He just can't resist it.
207
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,111
- 'Cause he's... he's just a fun guy.
- Yeah.
208
00:09:05,172 --> 00:09:06,772
Anyway, Paul and
a few other people
209
00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:09,027
have sent in this piece of
information they've discovered
210
00:09:09,087 --> 00:09:12,023
from one the more respected
news networks.
211
00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:13,859
The headline is this:
212
00:09:13,915 --> 00:09:16,183
"Female kidney turns lumberjack
on to housework."
213
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:17,443
Right.
214
00:09:17,493 --> 00:09:19,961
Now a croatian lumberjack
apparently has claimed
215
00:09:20,024 --> 00:09:22,559
that he started enjoying
housework and knitting
216
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:24,690
after he was given
a female kidney.
217
00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:26,917
He claims he's gonna Sue
his local health authority
218
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,944
'cause he says he's become
a laughingstock.
219
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,070
He used to enjoy heavy drinking
sessions and things.
220
00:09:32,141 --> 00:09:34,275
The kidney transplant saved
his life,
221
00:09:34,336 --> 00:09:36,003
"...But they never warned me
about the side effects."
222
00:09:36,056 --> 00:09:39,993
I've developed a strange passion
for female jobs like ironing,
223
00:09:40,073 --> 00:09:43,909
sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes
in wardrobes and even knitting."
224
00:09:43,988 --> 00:09:45,756
Well, if he likes it,
what's the problem?
225
00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:47,779
It's nonsense.
It's nonsense.
226
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:50,471
Hold on, though. What makes me laugh
is he's become a laughingstock,
227
00:09:50,537 --> 00:09:52,938
so what do you do when you
become a laughingstock?
228
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,467
- Tell the newspapers.
- Well, yeah.
229
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,087
Tell the newspapers about it
230
00:09:56,139 --> 00:09:58,074
'cause then they'll have to keep
it completely under wraps then.
231
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,000
It's the sort of medical nonsense that
Karl would normally come up with.
232
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:04,037
Absolutely. The, you know,
you take on the personality
233
00:10:04,106 --> 00:10:05,807
of the person who
gave you their blood.
234
00:10:05,861 --> 00:10:07,595
Exactly. It's like those odd
sort of horror stories,
235
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,117
you know... you get given a
murderer's hand
236
00:10:09,169 --> 00:10:10,870
and you go around killing.
237
00:10:10,924 --> 00:10:13,092
But... but there can be
certain medical things
238
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:17,154
that would change the way you think
and would change you as a person.
239
00:10:17,236 --> 00:10:21,038
Say like how they can do face
transplants now.
240
00:10:21,117 --> 00:10:23,752
- Yeah. - Right?
I mean, I don't quite understand
241
00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:26,085
how these face
transplants work,
242
00:10:26,146 --> 00:10:28,715
because do you get
a choice of who you have?
243
00:10:28,779 --> 00:10:31,214
If... if you had something done
to your face and you go...
244
00:10:31,277 --> 00:10:33,145
You know, it's burned or whatever
or something happens to you
245
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:34,868
and you need
a face transplant...
246
00:10:34,923 --> 00:10:37,124
Well, if you change... if you
totally changed your appearance,
247
00:10:37,184 --> 00:10:40,520
then you would eventually change
because of how people reacted to you.
248
00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:42,394
- Well, but I'm saying...
- So if you gave yourself
249
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:45,151
the head of an elephant,
soon you wouldn't...
250
00:10:45,218 --> 00:10:47,085
You wouldn't be
yourself because of the...
251
00:10:47,141 --> 00:10:48,675
I wouldn't have that.
That's what I'm saying.
252
00:10:48,728 --> 00:10:50,462
If they had a catalogue,
and they said,
253
00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:52,851
"here's some faces you can have.
Pick which one you want..."
254
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,447
Yeah.
255
00:10:54,499 --> 00:10:56,567
...Would you be looked upon badly
if you go, "do you know what?
256
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,693
I don't really like
the look of any of them.
257
00:10:58,753 --> 00:11:01,488
"Can I just wait
for a better face?"
258
00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:04,423
Or at this moment in time, have you
just got to take what's on offer?
259
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,325
Karl, there's no one looking
through catalogues at faces
260
00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:08,760
they might be able to have.
261
00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:10,879
No, they do now because of
the face-transplant thing.
262
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,272
But who are these people
putting their face up for...
263
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:15,001
They wait till someone...
264
00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:17,223
Yeah, I know,
but at some point...
265
00:11:17,283 --> 00:11:19,284
Well, I'll tell you what: I
would not have a face transplant
266
00:11:19,341 --> 00:11:21,676
if I haven't seen the face
before I'm gonna have it.
267
00:11:21,738 --> 00:11:24,573
You are so...
268
00:11:24,641 --> 00:11:27,676
I want to see what I'm having because
I could end up with anything.
269
00:11:27,747 --> 00:11:30,215
You mentioned elephant's head.
What... do you know what I mean?
270
00:11:30,278 --> 00:11:32,579
Whose head are they gonna use?
Is it the latest thing that's died?
271
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:34,608
"Oh, well, this got
run over before.
272
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:36,633
Here, I'll stick this
on your head."
273
00:11:36,691 --> 00:11:38,959
- Where did this come from?
- From his mind.
274
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:42,823
Where are these faces queuing
up to be popped on a skull?
275
00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:46,037
Where do you think they have got
time to, to put all these...
276
00:11:46,108 --> 00:11:48,943
Maybe this is why it won't
catch on. I don't know.
277
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:52,813
This is extraordinary.
You've created in your own head
278
00:11:52,893 --> 00:11:55,661
the existence of this pamphlet.
And now you're defending it
279
00:11:55,728 --> 00:11:57,729
even though we don't know
if it even exists.
280
00:11:57,787 --> 00:12:00,689
And you're this skull on a... on a
hospital bed going, "I'm not having that.
281
00:12:00,757 --> 00:12:02,391
I don't like the look of it.
I mean, he looks a bit shifty.
282
00:12:02,444 --> 00:12:03,812
Yeah, don't like that one."
283
00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:06,163
Can I ask this now?
Let's say you... we were both...
284
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,827
We'd passed away sadly in
something terribly tragic.
285
00:12:08,892 --> 00:12:11,193
The nation mourned.
You know, it's just terrible.
286
00:12:11,254 --> 00:12:13,889
It's like one of the great
national disasters.
287
00:12:13,955 --> 00:12:16,923
But you... at the same time,
you survived the accident.
288
00:12:16,993 --> 00:12:19,027
Okay? But your face
is hideously disfigured.
289
00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:22,021
You can take either
Ricky's face or mine to have.
290
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,756
I'surprised you're
asking this now, Steve.
291
00:12:27,658 --> 00:12:31,161
I mean... I mean, it's just... it
doesn't seem like any of them
292
00:12:31,236 --> 00:12:33,804
- is like a great option.
- Oh, thanks.
293
00:12:33,869 --> 00:12:35,803
And this is what I'm saying
about the catalogue.
294
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:38,195
If those... if those two were on offer,
I might go, "do you know what?
295
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:42,059
Pop in again tomorrow.
Bring in another booklet."
296
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,832
This is from Anne Marie.
She says that she loves the podcast.
297
00:12:46,897 --> 00:12:49,766
She listens with her
seven-months-old baby.
298
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:53,437
That cannot be a good idea.
299
00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:56,081
"If you had children, what
is the most important lesson
300
00:12:56,146 --> 00:13:00,316
- you'd want to teach them?"
- Uh...
301
00:13:00,399 --> 00:13:04,736
I mean, in a way, if you sort
of look after a kid too much,
302
00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:07,289
it doesn't learn that much.
303
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,088
But if you let it learn
by its mistakes,
304
00:13:10,154 --> 00:13:12,122
it'll probably
grow up all right.
305
00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:15,081
But there are some mistakes you can't
afford it to make to learn from.
306
00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:17,784
Yeah. Driving a car
the wrong way down a motorway.
307
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:20,852
Testing if the
fire really is hot.
308
00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,722
No, but say like the time...
309
00:13:22,777 --> 00:13:24,878
Does broken glass really
taste horrible?
310
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,039
These are lessons you don't
want it to learn from mistakes.
311
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,132
You can tell them that.
But what I mean is...
312
00:13:29,191 --> 00:13:31,993
But what I mean is there's
certain things that...
313
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:36,096
I just think that there was a kid who
grew up in our... in our Avenue, right,
314
00:13:36,178 --> 00:13:39,814
on the estate,
who, when it was born, right,
315
00:13:39,891 --> 00:13:42,026
we kind of thought,
"he's got no chance, this kid."
316
00:13:42,085 --> 00:13:44,553
'Cause its mom was a bit
of a "wrong'un."
317
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:47,085
"Wrong'un"?
What is that?
318
00:13:47,148 --> 00:13:49,349
No, just... just like,
you know, she liked going out
319
00:13:49,409 --> 00:13:52,945
and having a fag and, like, having a drink.
And she's never at home.
320
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,088
It's the one who had the...
The horse in the house...
321
00:13:55,147 --> 00:13:57,248
- Sure. - ...
Which I don't want to go over.
322
00:13:57,307 --> 00:13:58,908
- It's old news, yeah.
- It's out there, isn't it?
323
00:13:58,961 --> 00:14:01,496
If you want to find out about
the horse in the house...
324
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,529
She had a kid. And everyone
was pretty surprised
325
00:14:04,598 --> 00:14:06,599
when they saw it 'cause it was
a good-looking kid.
326
00:14:06,657 --> 00:14:10,393
It was a surprise 'cause, like, you know,
the mom wasn't that good looking;
327
00:14:10,471 --> 00:14:12,038
the dad was a bit rough.
328
00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:15,393
But it came out and she was
showing it around...
329
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,267
Around the Avenue going,
"look at this I've had."
330
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,390
And she was... she was
chuffed with it
331
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:21,451
'cause it waprobably like
one of the newest things
332
00:14:21,508 --> 00:14:23,142
she'd ever had. 'Cause everything
else was always sort of...
333
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,097
Secondhand?
-... secondhand and what have you.
334
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:27,655
Suddenly she's got this
brand-new little baby, right?
335
00:14:27,719 --> 00:14:30,153
Anyway, as it grew up,
all right,
336
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:34,520
those looks went.
And I'm not talking getting old;
337
00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:36,138
I'm talking by the age
of about three.
338
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:39,293
- It looked...
339
00:14:39,364 --> 00:14:41,332
... it looked rough
already, right?
340
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:44,792
And all that... that just
happened
341
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:48,435
because that's... that's the
life it was in, right?
342
00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:49,845
Yeah.
343
00:14:49,895 --> 00:14:52,997
So, like, he had like
a patchy head; Its hair...
344
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,268
What?
He had a patchy head?
345
00:14:54,317 --> 00:14:56,017
A patchy head.
It's just sort of...
346
00:14:56,072 --> 00:14:58,340
It wasn't
north American Indian?
347
00:14:58,401 --> 00:14:59,701
What do you mean,
a patchy head?
348
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:01,385
Just... just his hair
was patchy.
349
00:15:01,439 --> 00:15:03,340
He used to Chase
sort of cars and stuff.
350
00:15:03,396 --> 00:15:06,799
Chase cars? Sorry?
What do you mean?
351
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,640
Just that's what
he did for his...
352
00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:09,996
Sorry, did she let
it get raised by wolves?
353
00:15:10,045 --> 00:15:12,914
No.
But all I'm saying is
354
00:15:12,982 --> 00:15:17,019
that at the end of the day,
what is it that makes a person?
355
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,069
Do you know what I mean?
Now I don't know what state he's in now,
356
00:15:20,138 --> 00:15:22,740
but maybe he learned all his
mistakes by the age of four.
357
00:15:22,804 --> 00:15:26,273
I'm guessing he's not chasing cars now.
But at least he's done it.
358
00:15:26,349 --> 00:15:28,350
- I'm guessing he is.
- Yeah.
359
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:30,008
Do you know what I mean?
At least he can go,
360
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,496
"yeah, I've been there,
done that."
361
00:15:31,547 --> 00:15:33,081
And you don't go back to it.
And you can get away
362
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,635
with doing dafter things when
you're a kid, can't you?
363
00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:37,265
I nearly killed a man once.
364
00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,153
Oh, okay, right.
365
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,377
No, that time when I was in...
In wales,
366
00:15:41,436 --> 00:15:43,938
and I was having a walk with me
dad on the cliffs and that...
367
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,036
I just picked up a big rock,
right,
368
00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:48,228
chucked it off the edge.
And as I chucked it off the edge,
369
00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:50,823
i noticed a fellow was
walking down below.
370
00:15:50,887 --> 00:15:51,987
Jeez.
371
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,436
And I missed his
head by, like, inches.
372
00:15:54,499 --> 00:15:59,136
Now I've never chucked a rock off a
bridge or off a cliff or anything.
373
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,659
And it only took one man to
almost lose his life
374
00:16:01,722 --> 00:16:03,356
for you to learn that lesson.
375
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,278
Yeah, but that's how you learn
your lessons, isn't it?
376
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:06,701
See, a lot of people just
said that maybe your dad
377
00:16:06,751 --> 00:16:08,285
should have said, "hey,
Karl, what you doing?"
378
00:16:08,338 --> 00:16:09,805
No, but he didn't know
I was doing it.
379
00:16:09,856 --> 00:16:11,223
I didn't say, "I'm gonna
Chuck this off here."
380
00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:12,909
I just picked it up
and chucked it.
381
00:16:12,962 --> 00:16:15,230
And as I let go of it, I noticed
the fellow was down there.
382
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:18,560
You live and you learn.
That's a little mantra.
383
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,033
Right, okay.
384
00:16:20,084 --> 00:16:22,619
You live and you learn. So
the woman who's had the kid,
385
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,650
sort of look after it...
Feed it;
386
00:16:24,708 --> 00:16:27,677
make sure it's got
shoes and that.
387
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:31,048
- But let it roam about.
- That's great.
388
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:33,089
- There's the advice for you, Anne Marie.
- I love that.
389
00:16:33,146 --> 00:16:36,515
Good luck. Just let your
seven-month-old baby roam about.
390
00:16:39,492 --> 00:16:42,160
Karl a lot of people are
absolutely fascinated
391
00:16:42,226 --> 00:16:46,462
to find out how you
met Suzanne,
392
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:50,016
- your girlfriend of how long?
- Ages.
393
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:53,826
Yeah. And they,
they can't comprehend how...
394
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:56,406
Well... I suppose that there's
any woman out there who...
395
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:57,970
There's someone for everyone,
isn't there?
396
00:16:58,022 --> 00:16:59,556
- Yeah.
- That's always my... my thing.
397
00:16:59,609 --> 00:17:01,510
And it's reassuring,
I think, you know?
398
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,701
We chatted about the face
transplants
399
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,396
and that, you know?
There's a face for everyone.
400
00:17:06,461 --> 00:17:08,429
- It's a philosophy, isn't it?
- Yeah.
401
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,454
I mean, it's really
unbelievable.
402
00:17:10,511 --> 00:17:13,013
No, there is someone
for everyone, no matter what...
403
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:14,878
What condition you're
in or whatever.
404
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:17,068
'Cause there's...
I read on the email...
405
00:17:17,127 --> 00:17:21,297
Someone emailed in
an old chinese proverb.
406
00:17:22,831 --> 00:17:26,801
It's something about everything,
no matter what it is,
407
00:17:26,882 --> 00:17:30,952
has got one talent. And that's the
same way in a relationship isn't it?
408
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:33,134
That everyone... you know, there's
always someone out there.
409
00:17:33,193 --> 00:17:35,795
I like the chinese.
There's another chinese proverb
410
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:37,594
- that I learned on an email.
- Go on.
411
00:17:37,649 --> 00:17:41,618
"He who cuts the wood up
412
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:44,935
warms himself twice."
413
00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:46,908
- Yeah. That's good. Yeah.
- That's good.
414
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:50,034
And then someone sent
in that one about,
415
00:17:50,104 --> 00:17:55,041
"too many chinese cooks
spoil the broth."
416
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,733
Well, why is...
Would that...
417
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,421
I don't know who slipped
the word "chinese" in there,
418
00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:00,142
but I think that it's
"too many cooks spoil... "
419
00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:03,765
Well, it was all... it was just all
sort of chinese proverbs and that.
420
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:05,909
One of my favorite
on the same subject
421
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:10,172
is, "a camel is a horse
designed by committee."
422
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,555
What do you mean?
423
00:18:11,605 --> 00:18:13,305
Well, it... - I mean,
424
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,394
it's having a go at the camel
and it shouldn't.
425
00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:17,353
But it's just, you know,
it's just a metaphor.
426
00:18:17,411 --> 00:18:20,346
If you wanted to design a horse,
and you had that vision,
427
00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:23,517
but you let... you let 12 people
in the room have their say,
428
00:18:23,587 --> 00:18:25,588
it wouldn't come out as
you wanted it to do.
429
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:28,815
And it wouldn't be as good.
A vision is more perfect than committee,
430
00:18:28,886 --> 00:18:32,089
because everyone having their
say... it becomes anodyne.
431
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:35,730
It becomes compromised, whereas
the best thing you can do
432
00:18:35,806 --> 00:18:38,841
is have an idea and have
a vision... an auteur that.
433
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:41,046
Rick, can I just say now,
I can tell from his look
434
00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:43,640
that he's thinking, "which
committee designed the camel?"
435
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,090
Well, I just say...
I'd say, who...
436
00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:49,615
Why would you request
the hump bit?
437
00:18:52,176 --> 00:18:54,945
'Cause that's just gonna get
in the way, isn't it?
438
00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:58,647
I mean, I've always... I've always
said that about a lot of animals.
439
00:18:58,725 --> 00:19:00,392
It's like we've doubled up
on a lot of them.
440
00:19:00,446 --> 00:19:01,947
We've chatted about
elephants and mammoths.
441
00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:04,933
- One or the other.
442
00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:07,137
And that's the same with...
With a camel.
443
00:19:07,197 --> 00:19:08,964
I'd have it up there as,
"what're they doing?"
444
00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:11,421
They were good years ago
in the Jesus times and that.
445
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:15,286
Don't need them now.
You know what I mean? We've moved on.
446
00:19:15,365 --> 00:19:18,534
Well, not people who use
camels to cross deserts.
447
00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:21,574
Whatever. I'm gonna... I'm gonna
throw some animals at you,
448
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:25,145
and you tell how you'd improve them
if you'd have been designing them.
449
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:28,356
Okay? The octopus.
450
00:19:28,427 --> 00:19:30,328
So I can now go back.
I can look at them
451
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,853
and go,
"what are they doing?"
452
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,172
And where have they gone wrong?
What's up with the...
453
00:19:34,233 --> 00:19:37,335
How could you improve it?
Like the camel, you'd go, "lose the hump."
454
00:19:37,406 --> 00:19:40,708
I'd probably... I'd probably
give it a bit more of a body,
455
00:19:40,781 --> 00:19:45,085
- cut down on the arms...
456
00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:48,772
...And... and give it
some bones.
457
00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:51,783
'Cause I don't understand how all
this getting in a jar is good.
458
00:19:51,853 --> 00:19:54,254
When does he want to get
in a jar?
459
00:19:54,316 --> 00:19:56,985
Well, it only wants
to get in a jar
460
00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:58,451
according to your stories.
461
00:19:58,502 --> 00:20:00,236
No, but there's something
that says it can get in a jar
462
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,824
'cause it hasn't got any bones.
463
00:20:01,877 --> 00:20:05,679
But I don't know why it'd want
to do that in the first place.
464
00:20:05,759 --> 00:20:07,493
I can't even begin
to answer that.
465
00:20:07,547 --> 00:20:09,181
Once again, you've...
You've said...
466
00:20:09,236 --> 00:20:11,704
You've claimed that you've read
that they like to get in jars.
467
00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:13,902
I mean, how do they know that
octopus like to get in jars.
468
00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:16,729
Oh God, I love it.
You can improve on an octopus!
469
00:20:16,796 --> 00:20:18,830
Millions and millions of
years of evolution
470
00:20:18,888 --> 00:20:20,823
making it perfect for
its surroundings.
471
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,549
Okay, another animal
for you then, Karl. Uh...
472
00:20:24,627 --> 00:20:25,860
Giraffe?
473
00:20:27,968 --> 00:20:31,337
What... what are
they adding to the world?
474
00:20:31,411 --> 00:20:32,845
What are they doing?
475
00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:34,898
Well, it's not about what
they add to the world, is it?
476
00:20:34,955 --> 00:20:36,856
But I thought... I thought
that's what everything's about.
477
00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:39,048
It's about things are here
for a reason.
478
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:43,010
The reason they're here is 'cause
they didn't die. That's it.
479
00:20:43,089 --> 00:20:45,958
No, but there seem to be a lot
of animals that are like...
480
00:20:46,026 --> 00:20:47,694
Do you think there's
a lot of cheating?
481
00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,549
Is that what you're saying?
Is there lots of doubling up?
482
00:20:49,604 --> 00:20:51,672
- There seems to be a lot of doubling up.
- Yeah, so you want, you want...
483
00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:53,965
You... you'd get it down
to, like, eight animals
484
00:20:54,026 --> 00:20:56,327
that represented
all of those...
485
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,723
Okay, who would get in your...
In your team?
486
00:20:58,785 --> 00:21:00,552
- You can choose any animal.
- This is what I'm saying.
487
00:21:00,642 --> 00:21:03,477
If I was Noah, I would have
gone like, "hang on a minute.
488
00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:06,847
I've just seen something that
looks a bit like this.
489
00:21:06,919 --> 00:21:10,488
Let it drown
and have a clear out."
490
00:21:10,565 --> 00:21:14,034
But he didn't. He was messing
about saving everything.
491
00:21:14,109 --> 00:21:16,344
He was instructed by God to save
everything, to be fair to him.
492
00:21:16,404 --> 00:21:18,238
Yeah, but if he's been
given that job,
493
00:21:18,295 --> 00:21:21,430
for me, he's sort of
manager of that job.
494
00:21:21,502 --> 00:21:24,036
So you... so you believe
Noah as well?
495
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,001
You believe Noah
happened as well?
496
00:21:26,058 --> 00:21:29,928
And he built a boat big enough
to carry two of every species?
497
00:21:30,007 --> 00:21:32,242
You actually believe that
as fact, do you?
498
00:21:32,302 --> 00:21:33,802
Well, it's out there
in book form.
499
00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:36,189
- Brilliant.
- All right.
500
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,319
Well, you haven't answered the
question that we started with.
501
00:21:38,378 --> 00:21:41,347
- How did you meet Suzanne?
- Just at work.
502
00:21:41,416 --> 00:21:42,816
Thanks.
503
00:21:46,107 --> 00:21:50,911
Oh, chimpanzee that,
monkey news!
504
00:21:51,001 --> 00:21:52,935
There was this airline.
505
00:21:52,993 --> 00:21:55,628
And it was having a lot
of problems and...
506
00:21:55,693 --> 00:21:58,595
- What, pilots too tall?
- Yeah, the cabin was so tiny...
507
00:21:58,663 --> 00:22:02,099
... only bananas were allowed
in the cockpit for fuel.
508
00:22:02,173 --> 00:22:04,174
Anyway, there was a lot of
strikes going on,
509
00:22:04,233 --> 00:22:06,868
right, because... I don't
know what it was about.
510
00:22:06,933 --> 00:22:09,568
It was over money or whatever.
And the...
511
00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:11,501
Well, get someone who
doesn't need money.
512
00:22:11,557 --> 00:22:13,959
But... but what else could
you pay something in, Rick?
513
00:22:14,021 --> 00:22:16,623
- Well, peanuts.
- Peanuts or fruit, yeah.
514
00:22:16,688 --> 00:22:19,557
So anyway, the boss of
the airline,
515
00:22:19,624 --> 00:22:21,692
he had, like, one pilot who
he could trust, right,
516
00:22:21,751 --> 00:22:23,819
- and that was his son.
Right.
517
00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:26,846
But the problem is with a lot of
these planes you need two pilots.
518
00:22:26,915 --> 00:22:29,450
- 'Course you do.
- And he's like, "if only I had two sons."
519
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,916
But he didn't. There's no point
harking on about it, right?
520
00:22:31,978 --> 00:22:34,546
- Sure.
- This is... he runs an airline?
521
00:22:34,611 --> 00:22:35,944
He runs an airline, yeah?
522
00:22:35,995 --> 00:22:37,595
But how many pilots are there?
'Cause there must be loads?
523
00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:39,683
No, there's loads, but the
problem is a lot of them
524
00:22:39,742 --> 00:22:43,377
are going on strike. And each week he
can see that, "we're struggling here.
525
00:22:43,454 --> 00:22:45,488
- We haven't got... "
- Well, just close it down.
526
00:22:45,547 --> 00:22:47,381
- No, you can't do that, Rick.
- No can't...
527
00:22:47,437 --> 00:22:49,238
- Of course you can. - It would cost
him a fortune if he closes it down.
528
00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:51,228
Yeah, but one plane's not gonna make
a difference in an airline, is it?
529
00:22:51,285 --> 00:22:53,019
- No no, it's all the planes.
- It's all the planes, mate.
530
00:22:53,074 --> 00:22:55,042
So the son... he's
flying the planes and that.
531
00:22:55,099 --> 00:22:56,600
He's getting worried
for his dad
532
00:22:56,652 --> 00:22:58,153
'cause of his business...
It's falling apart.
533
00:22:58,204 --> 00:22:59,338
He's like...
Anyway, listen...
534
00:22:59,386 --> 00:23:01,220
One plane won't make
any difference.
535
00:23:01,275 --> 00:23:03,310
"Don't worry about it.
We found someone who you could work with."
536
00:23:03,368 --> 00:23:07,004
He said, "he's staying over near
the sort of quarantine area
537
00:23:07,082 --> 00:23:08,982
where all the animals
are kept."
538
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:11,207
Oh yeah, right. Okay.
539
00:23:11,267 --> 00:23:14,269
"They won't be looking in there.
They won't bother." So he's like, "all right."
540
00:23:14,338 --> 00:23:15,772
No animal that could be
a co-pilot, that's why.
541
00:23:15,823 --> 00:23:18,692
"I'll see you... he'll meet
up with you in the cockpit.
542
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,027
"He'll meet up in
the cockpit?" Yeah, sure.
543
00:23:20,077 --> 00:23:22,278
So anyway, he gets in there.
He meets him.
544
00:23:22,338 --> 00:23:25,140
At first, a little bit of a shock
who he's gonna be working with.
545
00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:26,841
- Why?
- But he's thinking,
546
00:23:26,895 --> 00:23:29,229
"as long as I can keep my dad's
business alive, I can... "
547
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,058
- Not with one plane.
- Everyone's happy.
548
00:23:31,114 --> 00:23:34,750
Then one day what happens is
a little bit of the problem.
549
00:23:34,827 --> 00:23:36,995
- Oh, dear.
- Well, what happened is
550
00:23:37,054 --> 00:23:40,056
one woman who was on the... on
the plane got a bit peckish...
551
00:23:40,126 --> 00:23:41,193
Right.
552
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,341
...And said to
the air-hostess woman,
553
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,935
"I'm little bit peckish.
Have you got any sort of nibbles and that?"
554
00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:48,100
She went, "no we've got...
Got a sandwich."
555
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,760
She said, "I don't really
want a sandwich.
556
00:23:49,814 --> 00:23:51,514
I want some... you know,
like the usual stuff
557
00:23:51,569 --> 00:23:53,503
that planes give out, just like
a bag of nuts or something."
558
00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:54,993
What, have they not
given those out yet?
559
00:23:55,045 --> 00:23:56,912
So... no, they don't give it... -
For some reason,
560
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,836
she was like, "look, we've
stopped giving out the nuts.
561
00:23:58,893 --> 00:24:00,494
We can get you a sandwich.
And the woman's like,
562
00:24:00,546 --> 00:24:02,581
"I don't want a sandwich.
I just want some nuts.
563
00:24:02,639 --> 00:24:04,140
You know what I mean?
A sandwich is quite a big meal.
564
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,659
I just want some nibbles.
I want some nuts."
565
00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:07,813
"Then that's not available."
Done. End of story.
566
00:24:07,871 --> 00:24:10,039
So she said, "well, you're
saying there aren'any nuts.
567
00:24:10,099 --> 00:24:14,002
But earlier I saw you put a tray
outside the cockpit, right?
568
00:24:14,082 --> 00:24:16,584
It had a sandwich on it, two
cokes and two bags of nuts."
569
00:24:16,647 --> 00:24:19,716
She said, "so you're saying there
aren't any, but the pilots getting... "
570
00:24:19,786 --> 00:24:22,154
"Well, there aren't any now 'cause
that was the last two packets." Done.
571
00:24:22,217 --> 00:24:24,184
- No no, so...
- Let's go home.
572
00:24:24,242 --> 00:24:26,376
"Well, I'll go and have a
word with the pilot myself.
573
00:24:26,436 --> 00:24:28,303
'Cause you only put them out
there a few minutes ago.
574
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,694
- He can't have eaten them... "
- Karl, you cannot... no no.
575
00:24:30,756 --> 00:24:33,125
This is it. She was saying,
"you cannot go over."
576
00:24:33,186 --> 00:24:34,586
- No. Yeah?
- Listen.
577
00:24:34,638 --> 00:24:36,472
- "I'm gonna go over because... "
- "No no, you can't."
578
00:24:36,528 --> 00:24:37,962
- "... I know I've been lied to."
- "No, you can't."
579
00:24:38,013 --> 00:24:39,414
- So she goes.
- There's no way.
580
00:24:39,464 --> 00:24:40,764
- The pilot...
- They can't get in anyway.
581
00:24:40,815 --> 00:24:42,315
... chat about the nuts
and what have you.
582
00:24:42,368 --> 00:24:43,835
And he's thinking,
"what's going on out there?"
583
00:24:43,886 --> 00:24:45,620
He opens the door.
She gets a glance in.
584
00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:47,243
Little monkey's up there
with headphones on.
585
00:24:47,295 --> 00:24:49,330
Fucking bullocks.
586
00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:53,930
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