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RUXIN: Shiva Komedi
Somakanakram!
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00:00:04,093 --> 00:00:06,770
It feels good to be back.
PETE: Oh, God.
3
00:00:06,904 --> 00:00:08,668
But maybe I won't win.
I mean, who am I playing in the
4
00:00:08,802 --> 00:00:10,891
Shiva Bowl this year?
We've known him as Tefl-Andre,
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00:00:11,026 --> 00:00:13,220
because nothing sticks to him,
but you know what is going to
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00:00:13,354 --> 00:00:16,754
stick to him?
The ropes and ropes of yogurt
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00:00:16,888 --> 00:00:19,944
that I will cover his face with.
(groaning)
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00:00:20,078 --> 00:00:23,195
Andre is going to walk away from
this Shiva Bowl loss looking
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00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:26,625
like he got in an accident at a
custard factory.
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00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,915
KEVIN: Unnecessary.
And so, the terrible reign of
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00:00:30,049 --> 00:00:34,217
Ruxin begins anew!
(cackling)
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00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:37,278
What are you doing?
Oh.
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00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,666
Is this that stupid league of
yours again?
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00:00:39,801 --> 00:00:41,861
(laughter)
Yeah, I'm just making a video
15
00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:43,856
because I'm in the finals.
Ooh.
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00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:45,870
What do you want, a trophy?
We do have a trophy.
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00:00:45,956 --> 00:00:47,486
It's the Shiva.
It's this Indian girl that we
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00:00:47,617 --> 00:00:48,983
went to high school...
Who cares?!
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00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,984
It's an eight-team league full
of morons.
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00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,052
Congratulations.
You're king of the dipshits.
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00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,849
Get back to work.
Yeah, I just got to...
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00:00:54,984 --> 00:00:56,783
Get back to work!
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00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:01,173
(whispering): I'm gonna be
the champion.
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00:01:01,307 --> 00:01:03,811
Work!
I'm the champion.
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00:01:04,035 --> 00:01:08,581
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,916
Seriously, you're gonna hang
that right there?
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00:01:11,036 --> 00:01:13,031
JENNY: Yeah, don't worry.
I got one for you, too.
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00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:16,199
And sadly, it might be just as
appropriate next year.
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00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,667
Well, 'tis the season for an
all-MacArthur Sacko Bowl.
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00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:21,462
No, no, no, don't look at me.
It's all right here.
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00:01:21,596 --> 00:01:23,824
I cannot believe that I'm in
the Sacko again.
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00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,039
TACO: Yeah, my strategy
didn't work too well, either.
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00:01:26,090 --> 00:01:28,410
You mean not changing your
lineup from the beginning of the
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00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:30,723
season regardless of byes,
match-ups or injuries?
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00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:34,820
(phones chirping)
An e-mail from the estate of
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00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:37,355
Ted Rappaport?
Oh, shit. Here, pull it up.
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00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,953
Hello, my name is Fredrick
Mandino, and I represent the
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00:01:40,088 --> 00:01:42,318
estate of the late
Theodore Rappaport.
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00:01:42,453 --> 00:01:44,734
Mr. Rappaport left his Laguna
Beach house to the winner of
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00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:47,651
your fantasy football league,
and as your Shiva Bowl has
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00:01:47,786 --> 00:01:50,652
arrived, he wanted you to see
what you were playing for.
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00:01:50,785 --> 00:01:53,286
ALL: Whoa!
Oh, my God.
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00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:55,489
I would leave my family for
that house.
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00:01:55,623 --> 00:01:58,157
I would take your family for
that house.
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00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,323
I have also sent you some
plane tickets, as Mr. Rappaport
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00:02:00,457 --> 00:02:02,690
felt that since you were playing
for the house, you should be
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00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,821
staying at the house.
What?!
48
00:02:04,955 --> 00:02:06,620
Holy shit, we're all flying
to California.
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00:02:06,755 --> 00:02:08,519
Hold on, I have to check my
calendar.
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00:02:08,654 --> 00:02:10,621
Mr. Rappaport then instructed
me to make a series of very
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00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,056
obscene gestures which, for
professional reasons and some
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00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:16,385
personal reasons, I would prefer
not to do over electronic media.
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00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,852
Looks like we are going on a
Shiva Bowl road trip!
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00:02:19,986 --> 00:02:21,784
Yeah, I'm free.
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00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:32,353
ANDRE: F-First class?
Yeah, I used my miles from
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00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:34,354
Korea to upgrade.
Hey, can I use your bathroom?
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00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,287
If you use our bathroom, I
got to call the air marshal.
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00:02:40,756 --> 00:02:42,555
Thank you.
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00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,454
Thank you.
I'm good.
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00:02:47,589 --> 00:02:50,123
Wasn't it so thoughtful of
Ted to get Shiva her own seat?
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00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,657
Can I have Shiva's peanuts?
No!
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00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:54,222
Andre, what are you doing
in coach?
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00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:56,222
You always fly first class.
Well, after the debacle at
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00:02:56,356 --> 00:02:58,290
M�nage � Cinq, money's been a
little bit tight.
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00:02:58,424 --> 00:03:00,225
So I figured I'd fly coach.
It's not that bad at all.
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00:03:00,359 --> 00:03:01,892
I mean, what, do I get the
champagne in the back?
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00:03:02,026 --> 00:03:06,458
Yeah.
Okay, sounds great.
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00:03:06,593 --> 00:03:08,826
All right, let's get onboard
here. Who do we want to
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00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,726
win this beach house?
ALL: Andre.
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00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,780
Yeah, I feel that.
If Ruxin wins, it'll be nicer,
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00:03:12,828 --> 00:03:15,129
but we won't have access.
If Andre wins, it'll be super
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00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:17,163
douchey, but we can do whatever
we want with it.
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00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,363
And if I win, I'll let you
guys use it sometimes.
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00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:22,299
You can't. You're out.
Well, I'm not giving up,
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00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:24,300
guys.
You are mathematically
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00:03:24,434 --> 00:03:26,067
eliminated.
And if I do win, I'm gonna
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00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:30,300
open a second location in Laguna
Beach, the EBDBBnB LB.
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00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:33,670
That's the spirit, Taco.
Why is anyone pretending this
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00:03:33,806 --> 00:03:37,174
is a back massager?
Hello, sir. Can I get
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00:03:37,308 --> 00:03:39,310
you a meal order tonight?
Yes, please.
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00:03:39,444 --> 00:03:41,312
Can I have the chicken piccata?
I'm so sorry.
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00:03:41,447 --> 00:03:43,247
We just gave the last one away.
The salmon's delicious,
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00:03:43,382 --> 00:03:45,015
though.
It has a pink peppercorn sauce.
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00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:46,852
I'll just have the chicken
piccata, please.
85
00:03:46,986 --> 00:03:48,666
I'm so sorry.
We just don't have enough for
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00:03:48,788 --> 00:03:50,321
everyone to have their first
choice.
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00:03:50,456 --> 00:03:52,189
What about the pilots?
Are they just gonna be given
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00:03:52,323 --> 00:03:54,258
soda and imitation Chex Mix?
No, of course they get a
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00:03:54,392 --> 00:03:56,262
meal.
And they're both having the
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00:03:56,396 --> 00:03:58,330
salmon?
Um, no.
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00:03:58,465 --> 00:04:00,331
One is and the other...
Is having the piccata?
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00:04:00,465 --> 00:04:02,234
Well, so I'm gonna go talk to
the pilot and see if he'll
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00:04:02,369 --> 00:04:03,889
switch with me.
Oh, sir, no, you can't.
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00:04:03,906 --> 00:04:06,026
The seat belt sign is on, and
besides, he's very busy.
95
00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:07,709
He's flying the plane.
That's right, he is flying
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00:04:07,844 --> 00:04:09,345
the plane.
So he doesn't want to be
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00:04:09,479 --> 00:04:11,350
concentrating on something as
silly as what he's eating for
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00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,385
dinner.
No, I guess not.
99
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,186
So maybe in this particular
case, he's gonna have the
100
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,689
salmon?
What do I tell him?
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00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:19,792
I would just tell him, "I'm
sorry, but we don't have enough
102
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,860
for everybody to get their first
choice."
103
00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:26,363
Okay.
Thank you.
104
00:04:26,497 --> 00:04:29,535
Now, that was impressive.
Oh, that was nothing.
105
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,805
Can I ask what you do?
I'm a corporate lawyer, but
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00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:34,242
I'm getting a little tired of
being a concierge of evil.
107
00:04:34,376 --> 00:04:37,213
Well, maybe I can help.
I'm Tom Condon.
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00:04:37,347 --> 00:04:40,153
Tom Condon, super agent,
Tom Condon?
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00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:42,923
Represents Drew Brees,
Eli Manning and Peyton Manning,
110
00:04:43,057 --> 00:04:44,993
Tom Condon?
You know, we're always
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00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:47,262
looking out for new talent, and
if you can negotiate with teams
112
00:04:47,396 --> 00:04:50,561
the way you did with that flight
attendant, we may have something
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00:04:50,695 --> 00:04:52,763
to talk about.
As a matter of fact, why don't
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00:04:52,897 --> 00:04:54,931
you stop by my office while
you're on the coast.
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00:04:55,066 --> 00:04:58,735
Yeah, okay, sure.
Psst, Ruxin.
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00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,904
Get out of here, you flight
urchin.
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00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,339
Ruxin.
Take a cookie, go.
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00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:04,274
Ooh!
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00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,966
Oh, God, it's right on the
beach.
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00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,970
Well, welcome, everyone.
Glad to have you here, if only
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00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:25,044
to fulfill the wishes of a great
man, Mr. Theodore Rappaport.
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00:05:25,164 --> 00:05:27,697
And he left specific
instructions that I be here for
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00:05:27,832 --> 00:05:30,352
the weekend to monitor the Shiva
Bowl to make sure that no funny
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00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:32,572
business occurs.
Oh, I can assure you, as
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00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:35,026
commissioner of this league,
there has never been any funny
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00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,907
business.
There was a negotiation of a
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00:05:37,042 --> 00:05:38,909
man's prison sentence as you
exchanged number one draft
128
00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:40,913
picks?
I plead the Fifth.
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00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:43,249
Allegedly.
You have abused the Make-A-
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00:05:43,383 --> 00:05:46,653
Wish Foundation so that Josh
Cribbs would help your team.
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00:05:46,787 --> 00:05:48,721
You know, I have one thing to
say to that.
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00:05:48,854 --> 00:05:52,657
Cribbs!
ALL: Cribbs!
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00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,988
Crabs!
Taco, you impersonated a
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00:05:55,123 --> 00:05:57,643
notary public, ran a brothel and
illegally imported and exported
135
00:05:57,689 --> 00:06:00,357
Three Penis wine.
And, Kevin, I believe you
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00:06:00,492 --> 00:06:02,653
ingested Mr. Rappaport's
medicinal cocktail in order to
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00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:05,727
gain a quote-unquote,
"AIDS-vantage."
138
00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:10,534
Are there any more questions?
May I use the restroom?
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00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:13,604
Yes.
Thank you.
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00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:20,910
Hi, Kevin.
(squeals)
141
00:06:21,045 --> 00:06:23,206
How do you like the place?
Ted! Wait, no, you're, uh...
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00:06:23,248 --> 00:06:25,115
Smarter than you.
Uh...
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00:06:25,249 --> 00:06:26,950
Better looking?
No, you're...
144
00:06:27,085 --> 00:06:29,087
More money, more successful.
No, you're dead. You're dead.
145
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,957
Oh, correct.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
146
00:06:31,092 --> 00:06:32,758
No, no, no, no, this-this cannot
be happening.
147
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,860
But much like your low T and
terrible fantasy lineup, here we
148
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,963
are.
If you really are a ghost,
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00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,566
then I want a sign.
Why does everybody feel like
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00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,132
they have to make the dead guy
jump through hoops?
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00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,133
You're so tedious, man.
Here.
152
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:49,472
(car horn honking)
Keep me a secret.
153
00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:52,206
I'll be back tonight.
Okay.
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00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:55,275
How much did you see in here?
I came in at the scratching.
155
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:58,412
That's okay.
(honking continues)
156
00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:03,085
Whoa!
(all groaning)
157
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:05,389
This place is the tits!
What the hell is he doing
158
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:07,293
here?
Mr. Rappaport's will
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00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,127
stipulated that Rafi also be
flown out.
160
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:11,141
Oh, God, he's screwing us
from beyond the grave.
161
00:07:11,228 --> 00:07:14,128
Hey, Brian!
Put this in our room.
162
00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:17,161
(shouting)
Where you going?
163
00:07:17,296 --> 00:07:19,795
(laughs)
That dumb dildo left us his cab.
164
00:07:19,929 --> 00:07:21,895
Rafi, why did the bag make
a squish?
165
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,729
Oh, it's full of chicken livers.
166
00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:25,730
You mash them all together, and
then you have sex with them.
167
00:07:25,864 --> 00:07:27,928
It mimics the consistency of a
human vagina.
168
00:07:28,063 --> 00:07:30,296
I'm gonna be banging that bag
all weekend, bro.
169
00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:34,233
Squish, squish, splurt.
This is not the sign I was
170
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:37,102
looking for.
So you're really gonna take
171
00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:39,437
this meeting with Tom Condon?
Yeah, I'm sick of working
172
00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,805
for that corn-fed monster
Bethesda anymore, and I'm not
173
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:44,274
going back to Korea.
I win the league, get a new
174
00:07:44,409 --> 00:07:46,276
house, get a new job, new
beginning.
175
00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:48,110
Yeah, are you gonna bring the
whole family out?
176
00:07:48,245 --> 00:07:50,046
What's that now?
Your family, Sofia, Geoffrey.
177
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,983
Does she even know you're here
with us?
178
00:07:52,117 --> 00:07:54,117
She knows that I'm on a work
trip, which it now turns out,
179
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,919
I am.
Wow.
180
00:07:56,054 --> 00:07:58,121
So looking back, I've been
very straightforward with her.
181
00:07:58,256 --> 00:08:00,857
Great sports agent.
You guys notice anything
182
00:08:00,991 --> 00:08:03,026
weird about this house?
I saw Rafi pissing in my
183
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,995
chest of drawers, but that's not
really out of the ordinary.
184
00:08:06,129 --> 00:08:08,765
Oh, Tall Guy, when am I gonna
stop hearing about this?
185
00:08:08,899 --> 00:08:12,604
I told you, I'm afraid of new
toilets, so I Goldilocksed all
186
00:08:12,739 --> 00:08:15,274
the new drawers in the house,
and yours was just right.
187
00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:17,541
Anyone run across my brother
at all today?
188
00:08:17,676 --> 00:08:19,543
Oh, you mean Tac Cousteau?
Yeah, he's out fishing on the
189
00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:21,544
pier, trying to get us some
dinner.
190
00:08:21,678 --> 00:08:23,612
What? I'll be back.
Bye.
191
00:08:23,748 --> 00:08:25,617
I hope he catches the
Little Mermaid, right?
192
00:08:25,751 --> 00:08:27,519
You ever seen anything as sexy
as that?
193
00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:29,353
Well, when they have the
tail, I'm not sure that you can
194
00:08:29,488 --> 00:08:31,356
do what you want to do there.
Oh, they've got fish biz
195
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:33,524
down there, okay?
And all I want is to get
196
00:08:33,659 --> 00:08:36,326
involved with fish biz.
(chuckles)
197
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:40,397
All right.
Oh, here comes Andre.
198
00:08:40,531 --> 00:08:42,700
Whew!
Hey, Andre.
199
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,197
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
200
00:08:44,332 --> 00:08:45,895
We actually have something we
want to talk to you about.
201
00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:47,495
All right, yeah, what do you
got?
202
00:08:47,629 --> 00:08:49,660
I would like to offer you my
personal advice on your fantasy
203
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,696
lineup.
Me, too.
204
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,563
Really?
But when you win, I get use
205
00:08:53,698 --> 00:08:55,965
of this beach house one month a
year.
206
00:08:56,099 --> 00:08:58,234
I also get use for a month,
and it has to be a summer month.
207
00:08:58,368 --> 00:09:00,169
Ooh, I want a summer month.
Yeah, it's totally fine.
208
00:09:00,303 --> 00:09:01,864
I mean, there's plenty of room
in there.
209
00:09:01,937 --> 00:09:03,572
You take the top, I'll take the
bottom, whatever.
210
00:09:03,707 --> 00:09:05,574
Yeah, no, I was thinking you
probably wouldn't be there.
211
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:07,578
Yeah, more of a solo thing.
Yeah.
212
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,017
Okay, yes, yes.
All right.
213
00:09:10,151 --> 00:09:11,987
I want your advice.
Here you go.
214
00:09:12,121 --> 00:09:13,988
All right.
(chuckles) I like that.
215
00:09:14,122 --> 00:09:15,521
Right?
I like that.
216
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,655
Of course I'm playing Antonio
Gates as tight end.
217
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:19,858
Pictures.
Oh! Bikini shot, huh?
218
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:21,860
What?
Jenny bikini shot.
219
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:23,927
Stop it, Andre.
I was packing. Give it to me.
220
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:26,029
You don't look through someone
else's phone.
221
00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:28,083
You just handed it to me.
It's like going through
222
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:29,896
someone's medicine cabinet,
Andre!
223
00:09:30,031 --> 00:09:31,932
I can look through people's
medicine cabinets. I'm a doctor.
224
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,003
No, you can't!
Enough, enough.
225
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,039
You guys, come here.
Think about the match-ups.
226
00:09:36,173 --> 00:09:38,710
It's good, right?
Oakland, I mean, come on.
227
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,079
What if I...
See this?
228
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:43,215
Yeah, yeah, of course. Yes!
Right?
229
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,851
I smell collusion.
I never would've...
230
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,853
(sighs)
Hey, Taco, I've got to talk
231
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,954
to you about the Sacko Bowl.
Oh, hey, brother.
232
00:09:52,089 --> 00:09:54,625
I can't win the Sacko for two
years in a row, okay?
233
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,729
I can't be hammered like that
again.
234
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,899
Yeah, you definitely can't.
That's gonna be bad.
235
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:00,902
Well, that's why I need your
help, all right? You got to...
236
00:10:01,036 --> 00:10:03,438
You got to take a dive.
What do you mean, take a
237
00:10:03,572 --> 00:10:05,408
dive?
I need you to lose on
238
00:10:05,543 --> 00:10:08,144
purpose.
You need me to cheat.
239
00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:09,879
It's not really cheating, Taco.
240
00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:11,916
I mean, you don't even care
about this league.
241
00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:14,387
I don't care about this
league, but there's one thing I
242
00:10:14,521 --> 00:10:16,389
do care about.
And that's you.
243
00:10:16,523 --> 00:10:18,443
You've never really done
anything with your life.
244
00:10:18,525 --> 00:10:20,793
Your career isn't working,
your marriage isn't working,
245
00:10:20,927 --> 00:10:23,062
and your dick's not even
working.
246
00:10:23,197 --> 00:10:24,965
My dick is back to normal, okay?
247
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,101
Oh, that is nothing to brag
about.
248
00:10:27,236 --> 00:10:28,969
Part of this is my fault.
What?
249
00:10:29,103 --> 00:10:31,070
I've been too easy on you.
But no more.
250
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:33,907
I am gonna try my very hardest
to beat you this week.
251
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:36,142
I am gonna make you work for
this win.
252
00:10:36,277 --> 00:10:38,145
You need to toughen up, you
little bitch!
253
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,481
What?
I-I'm a tough guy!
254
00:10:40,616 --> 00:10:42,816
I am!
(scoffs)
255
00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:44,850
My God, why did I think this was
gonna work?
256
00:10:44,985 --> 00:10:49,021
(growling)
(screams)
257
00:10:49,155 --> 00:10:52,023
What the shit?!
What are you doing, Taco?!
258
00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:54,624
I'm doing this because I love
you, brother.
259
00:10:54,758 --> 00:10:56,171
And don't shit in the water,
Seabiscuit.
260
00:10:56,291 --> 00:11:00,099
I'm not Seabiscuit!
One snuck out on impact.
261
00:11:04,947 --> 00:11:05,733
Hi, Kevin.
262
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:08,214
You look real stupid when you
sleep.
263
00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:09,286
(gasps)
Is this real?
264
00:11:09,406 --> 00:11:12,455
You guys make a nice couple.
(groans)
265
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,809
I need you to come with me.
Up there?
266
00:11:14,943 --> 00:11:17,945
Up?
Oh, buddy.
267
00:11:18,079 --> 00:11:20,149
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a good person.
268
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:22,349
Okay. To the balcony.
Oh.
269
00:11:22,484 --> 00:11:24,686
Yeah. Let's go.
Okay.
270
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:26,453
Just take a quick look at
your wife.
271
00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:28,954
What? Hey, hey, hey, no!
Relax, okay?
272
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,190
I'm not gonna give her ghost
AIDS.
273
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,659
Ghost AIDS?
You guys can't catch a break.
274
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,960
So Taco's gonna go for it
against you.
275
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:39,161
He's got a good enough team.
I don't want to be the Sacko.
276
00:11:39,296 --> 00:11:41,656
I don't, not two years in a row.
I'm gonna help you win, but
277
00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:44,130
you got to do something for me.
What can I do for you?
278
00:11:44,265 --> 00:11:46,500
I want one more prank on
these guys.
279
00:11:46,634 --> 00:11:48,367
Why?
Why? You drafted on my
280
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:50,901
embalmed body, you knocked over
the coffin, you had sex at my
281
00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:53,669
funeral.
Nope, nobody had sex, because
282
00:11:53,804 --> 00:11:55,970
nobody came.
Penetration is sex.
283
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:58,339
No, I just put the tip in.
Kevin, you're all tip.
284
00:11:58,474 --> 00:12:00,394
That's not cool, man.
So you gonna do this for me
285
00:12:00,477 --> 00:12:01,878
or not?
Yes, what do you want to do?
286
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,880
I'm thinking something fun,
and I'm just spit balling, but I
287
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,747
heard Andre talking about his
cat.
288
00:12:05,881 --> 00:12:08,016
Can't do that.
We already did that one.
289
00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:10,051
You don't watch everything
up there?
290
00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:12,688
I'm not gonna watch Andre.
Oh. Hey, do you guys play
291
00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:14,758
fantasy football?
I'm in a 14-team fantasy
292
00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:16,862
league with Gandhi and the
Ultimate Warrior, yeah.
293
00:12:16,998 --> 00:12:18,767
No way.
There's no bye-weeks.
294
00:12:18,902 --> 00:12:20,302
Your best players never get
injured.
295
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:21,837
Heaven.
You're not going.
296
00:12:21,971 --> 00:12:23,938
Are you in or out?
I'll do it, but I want to win
297
00:12:24,072 --> 00:12:26,944
first.
I couldn't care less.
298
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,179
Great. Pranks.
We could...
299
00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:31,681
Brian?
Hey! (chuckles)
300
00:12:31,816 --> 00:12:34,020
Hey.
Oh, what are you doing out
301
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,224
here, man?
If you must know, I'm talking
302
00:12:36,358 --> 00:12:38,392
to Ted's ghost.
I get that, man.
303
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:40,394
I've been talking to a gremlin
for an hour in my room.
304
00:12:40,529 --> 00:12:43,631
All right, well, anyway, Ted
wanted me to pull a prank on
305
00:12:43,765 --> 00:12:45,765
everyone...
I'm in. You had me at prank.
306
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,466
You don't even know what
we're gonna do.
307
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,442
I don't care. I'm in.
I want to do it with you.
308
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,435
Prank bros.
Okay, well, here's what I was
309
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,370
thinking.
We get everyone together in a
310
00:12:53,504 --> 00:12:55,438
group for a picture here, and
then we get someone up here with
311
00:12:55,572 --> 00:12:57,372
a bucket...
Oh, I'll be the bucket guy.
312
00:12:57,507 --> 00:12:59,640
You sure?
Brian, look at me in my eyes.
313
00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:02,910
I will take care of this.
Fine. I'm gonna go to bed.
314
00:13:03,045 --> 00:13:05,075
All right. Let's go.
Great. No.
315
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:07,079
Why?
Just be by yourself.
316
00:13:07,213 --> 00:13:08,746
Enjoy the scenery.
Okay, look.
317
00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:10,746
You know what? (groans)
I'm probably gonna put my dick
318
00:13:10,881 --> 00:13:12,382
in this beach.
All right, fine. Get crabs.
319
00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:14,819
(chuckles) Joke's on you.
I'm gonna give this beach crabs.
320
00:13:14,955 --> 00:13:19,325
Ooh, you sexy bitch.
? ?
321
00:13:25,536 --> 00:13:31,407
California Shiva Blast!
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!
322
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:37,746
(whooping)
This is the life.
323
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,515
It looks just like her.
324
00:13:47,591 --> 00:13:52,359
I am gonna miss you. (kisses)
Look, I'm diligent, I'm
325
00:13:52,494 --> 00:13:54,894
detail-oriented, and I don't
think you will find someone with
326
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:57,531
better bathroom etiquette.
How's your office small talk?
327
00:13:57,666 --> 00:13:59,865
Keep it under a minute.
No TV spoilers, no pictures of
328
00:13:59,999 --> 00:14:03,302
kids, we're done.
What do you think, Tom?
329
00:14:03,437 --> 00:14:05,804
I like him.
I like him, too.
330
00:14:05,939 --> 00:14:07,974
As a matter of fact, we could
use somebody with your corporate
331
00:14:08,109 --> 00:14:10,441
experience in our legal
department, and then we can
332
00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:12,541
segue you into the agent
business.
333
00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:14,941
Great. I'll just pick up and
start tomorrow, if you want.
334
00:14:15,075 --> 00:14:17,374
I will tell you this.
Our clients are our most
335
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,609
important asset.
This isn't fantasy football.
336
00:14:19,743 --> 00:14:22,175
As a matter of fact, we don't
play fantasy football here.
337
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,545
You don't play fantasy
football here?
338
00:14:24,679 --> 00:14:26,115
No, we don't play fantasy
football.
339
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:27,683
Good. I don't play fantasy
football.
340
00:14:27,818 --> 00:14:30,053
I am a football purist.
You know, some people play in
341
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:32,823
an eight-team league?
How sad is that?
342
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,076
I mean, fantasy football's
pathetic, and an eight-team
343
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:41,369
league, sad.
Sad.
344
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:43,702
Guys!
Guys, oh, my God!
345
00:14:43,836 --> 00:14:46,203
Oh, my God!
I lost the Shiva!
346
00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:48,306
ALL: What?
We were having a beautiful
347
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,313
afternoon on the beach, sitting,
enjoying the sun, and then this
348
00:14:52,447 --> 00:14:56,916
rogue wave just came and just
crashed over us, and it pulled
349
00:14:57,051 --> 00:15:01,055
us out, and I swam and I swam.
And then another wave came, and
350
00:15:01,189 --> 00:15:03,855
it knocked me down, and then I
lost her.
351
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:09,194
She's just out to sea.
The sea has taken Shiva.
352
00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:11,397
Jesus.
I don't believe this.
353
00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:13,398
I'm on the verge of winning, and
you lose the Shiva.
354
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:15,433
I'm sorry! It's terrible!
Babe, babe, listen.
355
00:15:15,568 --> 00:15:17,268
It's terrible!
It's okay, all right?
356
00:15:17,403 --> 00:15:19,271
I'll just go grab the Sacko,
throw it in the ocean, start...
357
00:15:19,406 --> 00:15:20,741
No, no!
No.
358
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:22,576
Why?
Oh, God, what are we gonna
359
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:25,013
do?
I guess the house is the new
360
00:15:25,147 --> 00:15:26,849
Shiva.
Oh.
361
00:15:26,984 --> 00:15:28,683
That's not bad, yeah.
Yeah, Shiva Komedi
362
00:15:28,818 --> 00:15:30,717
Somakana-casa.
And by the way, Kevin,
363
00:15:30,851 --> 00:15:32,853
I'm fine!
Oh, God! Oh!
364
00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:34,958
Oh, my God, is that alive?
It's seaweed.
365
00:15:35,093 --> 00:15:38,428
Is it alive, though?
You know, before we hire you,
366
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,630
we want to see how you interact
with the clients.
367
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,698
Great, I'm a real people person.
368
00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:45,031
Future first-ballot
Hall-of-Famer, Antonio Gates.
369
00:15:45,165 --> 00:15:47,200
How you doing?
Hey, nice to meet you.
370
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:49,536
Haven't we met before?
Met before?
371
00:15:49,671 --> 00:15:52,640
You're an angry little man.
Yeah, I'm about to get angry
372
00:15:52,774 --> 00:15:54,108
all up in your face.
Yeah? Yeah?
373
00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:57,577
Yeah. Yeah!
Nope, not that I recall.
374
00:15:57,711 --> 00:16:00,311
You look familiar.
Yeah, I got one of those
375
00:16:00,446 --> 00:16:02,581
faces, but, um...
You're good.
376
00:16:02,715 --> 00:16:05,283
Take a seat there, buddy.
Tone, take it easy on him.
377
00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,451
We like this guy.
No problem.
378
00:16:07,585 --> 00:16:09,588
You gonna come back real soon?
379
00:16:09,722 --> 00:16:11,624
You said your name was Ruxin?
Well, everybody calls me
380
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,724
Rodney.
Yeah, but we've met.
381
00:16:13,859 --> 00:16:15,791
Hey, big game this week, huh,
against the Niners?
382
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:18,658
Big game, absolutely. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a big week, and
383
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:22,966
yet, you know, you got to save
yourself for the playoffs.
384
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,834
In this league, you can't do
that.
385
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,234
You got to kind of play it every
week, every single week.
386
00:16:27,369 --> 00:16:29,237
'Cause you never know.
Maybe...
387
00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:31,739
Maybe let the wide receivers get
a TD or two.
388
00:16:31,874 --> 00:16:34,035
Like, throw Keenan Allen a bone.
I've marked this on my
389
00:16:34,107 --> 00:16:35,976
calendar.
I need to have a big week this
390
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,011
week.
Maybe next week.
391
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,313
No, I got to play big this week.
392
00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:42,349
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Enough about me.
393
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,451
Tell me something about you.
You got a family?
394
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,352
Yeah, I got a wife and kid.
Kid's not bad.
395
00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:49,686
He's actually a pretty solid
little athlete.
396
00:16:49,821 --> 00:16:51,588
Early developer, home run
hitter.
397
00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:53,790
Cute kid, cute kid.
He is a cute kid, yeah.
398
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,860
It's really kind of bad
etiquette to go through
399
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:57,696
someone's phone.
Oh, fantasy player, huh?
400
00:16:57,831 --> 00:16:59,865
What's that now?
Ruxin Roll.
401
00:16:59,999 --> 00:17:02,468
Get your Rux off.
Yeah, it's just pun stuff
402
00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:05,872
just to keep the mind nimble.
Hm.
403
00:17:06,006 --> 00:17:08,440
I remember you.
You're that angry little man
404
00:17:08,574 --> 00:17:10,610
that tried to throw a punch at
me.
405
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:12,680
(gasps) That's how I know
you.
406
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,681
You were mad at me because I
dropped a 40 burger on your
407
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,783
team.
I'm a different guy now.
408
00:17:16,918 --> 00:17:19,152
I don't even play fantasy
football anymore, so.
409
00:17:19,286 --> 00:17:22,123
So I guess, you know, you
wouldn't mind if I started
410
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:24,724
dropping a couple players, huh?
It wouldn't bother you.
411
00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:27,025
Hm-mmm.
Get rid of Drew Brees.
412
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,395
Drew Brees.
Get rid of Dez Bryant.
413
00:17:29,529 --> 00:17:32,666
Yeah, 'cause he's not having
a big year at all.
414
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,569
Yeah, Peyton Manning.
If you were saying you were
415
00:17:35,703 --> 00:17:37,637
gonna get rid of Papa John's, I
might stop you, but I don't
416
00:17:37,772 --> 00:17:39,474
care.
Chris Johnson.
417
00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:41,479
You can actually get rid of
Chris Johnson if you want.
418
00:17:41,613 --> 00:17:43,379
Get rid of Jamaal Charles, huh?
419
00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:45,434
Yeah, you don't need him.
Yeah, I don't need him.
420
00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:46,880
Okay.
Okay.
421
00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:48,983
Here we go.
No! No!
422
00:17:49,118 --> 00:17:51,253
Drew Brees, gone.
Not Drew!
423
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:53,355
Tom Brady...
Please don't do this to me.
424
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,024
Gone.
How can you hold me back with
425
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:56,860
one arm?
How's everything going in
426
00:17:56,996 --> 00:17:58,564
here, guy...
Hey, what the hell is going
427
00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:00,569
on?
Guys, this is exactly what it
428
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:03,639
looks like.
(sighs)
429
00:18:07,908 --> 00:18:10,874
Are you kidding me?
Come on, it is beautiful
430
00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:14,343
outside, and you guys are just
sitting here, glued to your
431
00:18:14,477 --> 00:18:16,127
computers.
Let's go to the beach.
432
00:18:16,232 --> 00:18:18,135
No, I'm good.
Leave us alone.
433
00:18:18,270 --> 00:18:20,403
(groans) God, you guys are
like couch mushrooms.
434
00:18:20,537 --> 00:18:22,739
Taco, you should probably hit
the beach with Jenny.
435
00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,976
No, I'm good, brother.
Got to set the best lineup
436
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:28,446
possible, because I love you.
Okay, I'm gonna take Victor Cruz
437
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,980
out, 'cause I just noticed he's
injured.
438
00:18:31,114 --> 00:18:33,115
Victor Cruz has been injured
since week six.
439
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,117
Final poll.
I need a D.
440
00:18:35,252 --> 00:18:37,654
Miami or the Titans v.
Jacksonville?
441
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,324
Miami.
Ooh, good one.
442
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:40,626
Titans.
Good, good, good.
443
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,361
Titans for sure.
I don't take advice from
444
00:18:42,397 --> 00:18:44,499
Sackos.
Ooh, hey, Rafi, got to pick a D.
445
00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:46,100
Trying to think, Miami or
Titans?
446
00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:47,867
D? What, like a dick?
Forget this.
447
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,669
Which is the biggest dick?
Don't worry about it.
448
00:18:49,803 --> 00:18:51,723
I'm gonna pick Miami. Miami.
Thank you very much.
449
00:18:51,806 --> 00:18:53,642
Well, I can't believe this,
but the games are about to
450
00:18:53,777 --> 00:18:55,477
start.
I love this West Coast thing.
451
00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:57,145
I know, life begins
at 10:00 a.m.
452
00:18:57,279 --> 00:18:59,447
All right, the Shiva Bowl
Championship lineup has been
453
00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:01,449
set.
Time for a beer to celebrate.
454
00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:04,784
Uh, you realize your winning
lineup has yet to be saved?
455
00:19:04,919 --> 00:19:07,189
What's that?
Well, you tinkered, you
456
00:19:07,324 --> 00:19:09,204
stinkered, but you forgot to
press "set lineup."
457
00:19:09,327 --> 00:19:10,895
Oh, very funny.
Oh, no joke.
458
00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:12,797
They're kicking off.
What?! No!
459
00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:16,399
(laughter)
Kickoff.
460
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,634
I pressed it, I pressed it, I
pressed it.
461
00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:20,870
No, I pressed "set lineup."
No, I don't see it submitted,
462
00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:22,875
Ruxin.
You pressed it too late.
463
00:19:23,009 --> 00:19:25,044
Lineups lock when the kickoff
happens. Sorry.
464
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:26,678
Commissioner, I set my lineup.
465
00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:28,311
You saw me set my lineup.
Ruxin, you know how this
466
00:19:28,445 --> 00:19:29,845
works.
Yeah, I know exactly how this
467
00:19:29,977 --> 00:19:31,512
works.
All you parasites collude
468
00:19:31,646 --> 00:19:34,081
against me, and then just when
it matters most, you screw me.
469
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,247
Your finger colluded against
you.
470
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:38,352
No, your outfit colluded
against you.
471
00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:40,486
You look like a European porn
extra.
472
00:19:40,621 --> 00:19:42,892
Hey, babe, did you see these
super cute pictures your mom
473
00:19:43,026 --> 00:19:44,895
sent of the kids?
They are so cute.
474
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:46,830
Oh, my God, I'd love to see
the kids.
475
00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:49,096
Cutie, cutie, so cute.
No, that's not my...
476
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,332
Oh, what's this?
The e-mail from Andre to the
477
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:53,365
group about splitting up the
house.
478
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,566
You joking me?
This is collusion!
479
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,933
(shouting)
We talk about what we want to
480
00:19:58,068 --> 00:19:59,933
talk about.
We split the house.
481
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,869
That doesn't mean we're
colluding against you.
482
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
So, the, uh, Shiva Bowl is
underway?
483
00:20:04,134 --> 00:20:05,734
Yeah, the Shiva Bowl's
underway, because they're
484
00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:07,533
colluding against me, which
means we've officially begun.
485
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:09,500
You can't take someone's
phone and go through their
486
00:20:09,635 --> 00:20:11,204
pictures.
You can't take anything.
487
00:20:11,338 --> 00:20:15,278
(shouting)
Everybody, please, quiet!
488
00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:18,180
...Potato chip.
This is exactly as Mr.
489
00:20:18,314 --> 00:20:20,412
Rappaport predicted.
You people cannot stop acting
490
00:20:20,547 --> 00:20:22,847
like animals, so I am prepared
for this.
491
00:20:22,982 --> 00:20:25,516
I am bringing in the perfect
person to make a ruling.
492
00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:28,050
Everyone, I would like you to
meet Mike Pereira, former head
493
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,222
of NFL Officiating.
Yeah, we know who he is.
494
00:20:31,357 --> 00:20:33,622
We watch him on TV every week.
What are you doing here?
495
00:20:33,757 --> 00:20:36,425
Ted-Ted was a good man.
I'm just here to help him with
496
00:20:36,559 --> 00:20:38,526
his final wishes.
I don't know how to tell you
497
00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:41,626
this, but Ted died.
Okay, well, I have, uh,
498
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,860
filled Mike in on everything
that's transpired thus far this
499
00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:45,863
morning.
Well, I can tell you right
500
00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:47,895
now that I pressed the submit
button.
501
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:50,264
My finger crossed the plane.
Okay, well, let's go under
502
00:20:50,398 --> 00:20:52,365
the hood and review it.
It's a kitchen hood.
503
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,035
Hey, respect the stripes.
I'm trying to respect the
504
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:58,704
stripe on your stupid hat.
Hey, I see a finger smudge
505
00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:00,738
here.
That's the one.
506
00:21:00,873 --> 00:21:02,393
That's my print.
That's my fingerprint.
507
00:21:02,507 --> 00:21:06,542
I got to mark it.
Got to get my chains out.
508
00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:17,946
After reviewing the play, Ruxin
failed to reach the submit
509
00:21:18,081 --> 00:21:21,483
lineup button when the finger
was down.
510
00:21:21,617 --> 00:21:24,549
You lose your challenge.
Send it to New York.
511
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,651
I am New York.
We're not gonna send anywhere.
512
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,786
What are you, crazy?
You know what, I'm throwing
513
00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:31,152
my red challenge flag, because
these people have been colluding
514
00:21:31,286 --> 00:21:33,155
against me.
I went on her phone, and I saw
515
00:21:33,289 --> 00:21:35,828
proof they were gonna split this
house amongst themselves.
516
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,730
You want to know how he saw
that?
517
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,224
He grabbed my phone and went
through all the pictures like a
518
00:21:40,235 --> 00:21:43,273
grubby raccoon.
You went through her phone?
519
00:21:43,408 --> 00:21:45,276
It doesn't matter how I got
the information.
520
00:21:45,410 --> 00:21:47,412
I got the information that they
were colluding. Red flag.
521
00:21:47,546 --> 00:21:49,515
It does matter.
The rules of society, my friend.
522
00:21:49,650 --> 00:21:52,820
If you are looking at a phone
and somebody gives it to you to
523
00:21:52,955 --> 00:21:55,257
look at a photo, you look at
that photo only.
524
00:21:55,391 --> 00:21:57,324
You don't scroll up and down.
You don't look at other e-mails.
525
00:21:57,459 --> 00:22:00,328
You don't open other apps.
You know what that's called?
526
00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:03,135
Illegal scrolling.
Yeah, illegal scrolling.
527
00:22:03,270 --> 00:22:05,171
I like that.
Scrolling.
528
00:22:05,305 --> 00:22:07,639
We're picking up the flag for
collusion and you, my friend,
529
00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:09,945
lose your second challenge.
Yes!
530
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,652
I want to bring back the
replacement refs!
531
00:22:12,772 --> 00:22:14,883
Oh, sure, everybody says that.
532
00:22:16,260 --> 00:22:19,224
Well, congratulations, Andre.
You're a Shiva Bowl Champion.
533
00:22:19,344 --> 00:22:22,179
(cheering)
You can just sign here, and then
534
00:22:22,314 --> 00:22:25,618
the house will be yours.
That's right.
535
00:22:25,752 --> 00:22:28,456
Okay, thank you so much.
You, uh, you all disgust me.
536
00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:33,400
And you perhaps most of all.
You do not deserve this.
537
00:22:33,535 --> 00:22:37,307
Congratulations.
(laughs)
538
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:39,941
Shiva Bowl Champ!
I won! I won!
539
00:22:40,076 --> 00:22:43,315
No, we won.
Now let's talk some months,
540
00:22:43,451 --> 00:22:45,318
buddy.
(groans)
541
00:22:45,452 --> 00:22:47,053
You all lost.
You're all losers.
542
00:22:47,187 --> 00:22:49,388
A pax on all of your homes.
I think you mean pox, Ruxin.
543
00:22:49,522 --> 00:22:51,722
No, I mean that the only
cable network you all
544
00:22:51,856 --> 00:22:54,389
should get is PAX.
I don't get it.
545
00:22:54,522 --> 00:22:56,803
This is not the lineup I set.
Oh, Taco, lose with a little
546
00:22:56,923 --> 00:22:58,893
dignity.
Stop whining.
547
00:22:59,027 --> 00:23:00,895
No, I'm telling you,
it's different.
548
00:23:01,029 --> 00:23:02,949
It's not the lineup I set.
I wonder what could've
549
00:23:03,063 --> 00:23:04,764
happened.
I wonder what could've
550
00:23:04,899 --> 00:23:06,600
happened.
Thank you! Thank you!
551
00:23:06,735 --> 00:23:09,102
Thank you!
Thank you, Shiva!
552
00:23:09,236 --> 00:23:11,506
Oh, well.
A win's a win, I guess.
553
00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:13,843
Yes, it is.
A win is a win.
554
00:23:13,978 --> 00:23:16,177
You earned it.
I know, I did.
555
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:18,447
Yeah.
I'm proud of you, brother.
556
00:23:18,581 --> 00:23:20,149
Thank you.
Come on.
557
00:23:20,284 --> 00:23:22,018
Well, not proud, just less
embarrassed.
558
00:23:22,153 --> 00:23:23,984
No, no.
That's interesting.
559
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:25,953
Come on.
No. Family functions only.
560
00:23:26,088 --> 00:23:28,624
Okay, sorry.
Stop it.
561
00:23:28,758 --> 00:23:30,627
This is not a family function.
Sit down.
562
00:23:30,761 --> 00:23:32,863
Hey, don't you have something
to do?
563
00:23:32,997 --> 00:23:35,498
Yes.
Uh, all right, I would like to
564
00:23:35,632 --> 00:23:37,797
do a league photo on the lower
balcony, so just get everyone
565
00:23:37,932 --> 00:23:39,867
together.
Meet me over there, okay?
566
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,369
Guys, I have a quick
announcement to make.
567
00:23:42,503 --> 00:23:45,471
I was just talking to Mike
Pereira, and I think I'm gonna
568
00:23:45,605 --> 00:23:47,608
become a ref.
What?
569
00:23:47,742 --> 00:23:49,676
Think about it.
Look, I love to be in a position
570
00:23:49,810 --> 00:23:52,478
of power arbitrarily, I love
having people listen to me and
571
00:23:52,612 --> 00:23:55,146
do what I say even if I happen
to be wrong, and I'll never have
572
00:23:55,281 --> 00:23:57,980
to say I'm sorry again.
It's kind of like my calling.
573
00:23:58,114 --> 00:23:59,982
And the stripes are pretty
slimming, too.
574
00:24:00,117 --> 00:24:01,784
I don't really care about that.
575
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:03,351
You should.
Thank you, Jenny.
576
00:24:03,486 --> 00:24:05,488
Well, on that note, please
come with me down to the beach.
577
00:24:05,623 --> 00:24:08,824
Oh, boy.
Might need some of that.
578
00:24:08,959 --> 00:24:11,661
Rafi, hey, come on!
It's time for the prank.
579
00:24:11,795 --> 00:24:16,232
Rafi?
(grunting)
580
00:24:16,367 --> 00:24:18,668
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Huh?
581
00:24:18,802 --> 00:24:20,802
Wait, what's all this?
Allow me to introduce you to
582
00:24:20,839 --> 00:24:22,876
my two favorite pranksters,
gasoline and kerosene.
583
00:24:23,011 --> 00:24:25,145
No! Why do you have all this
stuff?
584
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:26,879
For the prank.
I told you I'd take care of it.
585
00:24:27,013 --> 00:24:28,747
You're gonna light them on
fire?!
586
00:24:28,882 --> 00:24:30,684
It's a prank!
No, I want you to take water
587
00:24:30,819 --> 00:24:32,854
and pour it onto their heads.
Brian, water puts out fire.
588
00:24:32,988 --> 00:24:35,887
How do you not know this?
Oh, my God, you are adorable.
589
00:24:36,021 --> 00:24:38,592
(chuckles)
I don't think you know how
590
00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:40,693
pranks work.
The year of the Dre begins
591
00:24:40,828 --> 00:24:42,996
now.
We'll put aside our petty
592
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:46,235
disagreements, and, in the words
of Taylor Swift, we will just
593
00:24:46,369 --> 00:24:49,436
shake it off.
(booing)
594
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,372
Okay, in the spirit of good
sportsmanship, I present a
595
00:24:52,506 --> 00:24:57,842
message to you, my fellow
league-mates.
596
00:24:57,977 --> 00:25:01,045
Enjoy!
(chuckles)
597
00:25:01,179 --> 00:25:03,348
Ooh!
Wow, that's pretty cool.
598
00:25:03,482 --> 00:25:06,249
(laughter, cheering)
Hey!
599
00:25:06,383 --> 00:25:08,182
Suck it?
(groaning)
600
00:25:08,317 --> 00:25:09,750
Come on!
You stole my saying.
601
00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:11,754
I co-opted it.
In the year of the Dre, I say
602
00:25:11,888 --> 00:25:13,957
suck it.
What are we supposed to suck,
603
00:25:14,091 --> 00:25:15,790
Andre?
The butthole.
604
00:25:15,924 --> 00:25:17,426
We're supposed to suck your
butthole?
605
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,596
No, everyone's butthole.
We have to suck everyone's
606
00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:21,195
butthole?
It's my butthole.
607
00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,930
Fine, suck my butthole.
So you made some fireworks so
608
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:26,134
that we could all suck your
butthole?
609
00:25:26,269 --> 00:25:28,133
Yes, it's a punishment.
When you've been bad, you have
610
00:25:28,268 --> 00:25:29,799
to suck the butthole.
So when everybody's saying
611
00:25:29,934 --> 00:25:31,602
"suck it," you think we're
talking about buttholes, just to
612
00:25:31,737 --> 00:25:33,038
be clear?
What else would you be
613
00:25:33,172 --> 00:25:34,537
talking about?
What about dicks?
614
00:25:34,672 --> 00:25:36,775
Why would you even do that?
Ew, ew, ew.
615
00:25:36,909 --> 00:25:39,214
Have you ever gotten a blow job?
616
00:25:39,348 --> 00:25:42,382
Yeah, I've had a blow job.
You've had one?
617
00:25:42,517 --> 00:25:44,486
Andre.
What, I've had plenty of...
618
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:47,424
You're lying, first of all,
but you've had your butthole
619
00:25:47,559 --> 00:25:49,557
sucked on?
Yeah, it's second base.
620
00:25:49,691 --> 00:25:51,591
You think that's what second
base is?
621
00:25:51,725 --> 00:25:54,759
What? It's not?
I do not want you to light
622
00:25:54,893 --> 00:25:57,174
our friends and family on fire!
Brian, this is what taking
623
00:25:57,262 --> 00:25:59,129
care of it is.
No, I don't want you to
624
00:25:59,263 --> 00:26:00,898
handle this prank.
You are now out of this prank
625
00:26:01,032 --> 00:26:02,899
game.
Brian, just smell this.
626
00:26:03,034 --> 00:26:04,936
No! Put that down!
It's hilarious.
627
00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:06,904
That is the opposite of
what I want you to do.
628
00:26:07,039 --> 00:26:08,672
Brian, why are you ruining
this prank?
629
00:26:08,807 --> 00:26:10,307
How does this thing play out
in your mind, okay?
630
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,406
You pour gasoline on our
friends, and then what?
631
00:26:12,540 --> 00:26:14,407
We light them on fire!
And they're like, "Oh, my God!
632
00:26:14,541 --> 00:26:16,842
Rafi and Brian pranked us!"
(laughs)
633
00:26:16,977 --> 00:26:19,144
No, they won't be laughing,
because they'll be on fire!
634
00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:21,578
Of course they're gonna be on
fire, and yes, they're gonna
635
00:26:21,712 --> 00:26:24,780
die, but then we're gonna bury
their remains under this house
636
00:26:24,915 --> 00:26:27,783
where we will live for the rest
of our days as best friends!
637
00:26:27,917 --> 00:26:31,152
Hilarious prank!
What?
638
00:26:31,287 --> 00:26:33,587
Oh, shit.
(chuckles) Oh, boy.
639
00:26:33,721 --> 00:26:35,822
Reverse prank.
I'm out of here!
640
00:26:35,957 --> 00:26:39,126
I don't need you guys, okay?
You know what, this is the year
641
00:26:39,261 --> 00:26:42,794
of the Dre!
Andre, look behind you!
642
00:26:42,929 --> 00:26:44,965
I'm not gonna look behind me.
I'm gonna look ahead, to the
643
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:46,868
future!
Andre, you're on fire.
644
00:26:47,002 --> 00:26:49,673
I am on fire with winning.
I'm unstoppable now!
645
00:26:49,807 --> 00:26:52,479
We made a mistake!
Get back!
646
00:26:52,614 --> 00:26:54,816
Awesome prank!
Oh, God!
647
00:26:54,950 --> 00:26:57,117
Watch this!
It's gonna be hilarious!
648
00:26:57,252 --> 00:26:59,451
(screaming)
Yes!
649
00:26:59,586 --> 00:27:03,490
Pranked! Pranked!
Yeah!
650
00:27:03,624 --> 00:27:05,626
Whoa!
Shiva!
651
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,729
Hey, I thought she was washed
out to sea.
652
00:27:07,863 --> 00:27:09,732
Oops.
My beach house.
653
00:27:09,867 --> 00:27:13,035
You stupid assholes.
No way, dead guy.
654
00:27:13,169 --> 00:27:17,240
Best prank ever!
Rafi, what did you do?
655
00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:19,336
That was Brian's idea.
I just helped.
656
00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:21,044
Brian?!
657
00:27:21,269 --> 00:27:31,505
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
658
00:27:31,555 --> 00:27:36,105
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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