All language subtitles for Rules of Engagement s05e07 Mannequin Head Ball.eng

We know letting someone out of their
lease is not standard business procedure.

But, given our situation--

Our situation is
that my wife here is crazy.

Jeff, would you please--

Ah, ah, ah.

See, she had an Oprah
"ah-ha moment."

Oprah.

The thing is,
Audrey quit her job,

and then, she thought that
she wanted to sell cookies.

So, we ended up leasing
a store that we don't need.

Okay, first of all,
hello from under the bus.

And you are the one
who rented this place.

Yeah, I was trying to be
a supportive husband, all right?

Now put a sock in it.

Look, you can see
what I'm up against here.

Down to one income,
it's a tough time.

Mm-hmm.

It's a tough time for me too.

I'll tell you what,
I'll flip a coin,

we'll see who loses.

You do.

But the lease says
I've got to clean the place,

so, I'll give you a break
on the rent if you do it.

Hmm.

I'll flip the coin to see
if I help you clean up.

No.

And so now
I'm on the hook

for a three-month lease
on the store.

Just more stress
that I don't need.

Hey, maybe
you can sublet it

to these
chinese acrobat girls.

I mean, they don't
need a lot of space,

'cause they just fold up.

Your mom had to be high
when she nursed you.

She says no.

Anyway, I get
a break on the rent

if I clean
the place myself,

but it's
a total mess.

What are you doing today?

Oh, I've got big plans
to not help you clean.

Can you push that
to another day?

Howdy.

Doody.

So guys,
I'm seeing

this french chick
Margaux, right?

She's an
exchange student--

from France?

She was definitely high.

So she's getting her master's
in thinky-think.

But she's so refined
and cultured,

I'm having trouble
getting her into le sack.

So, she's french...

Yet won't surrender.

Yeah,
it'll be a lot of work,

but worth it.

You know, classy girls
are like turtles.

They're rarely on their backs,
but once it happens

they're there
for a good, long time.

Well, if she's a grad student
she must have read Tom Sawyer.

Did you ever read Tom Sawyer?

No.

So you don't know the part
about Tom Sawyer

and whitewashing
the fence?

No.

Oh, my God.

It's, like,
the greatest story ever.

I gotta go.

No, wait, hold on.

Tell me,
I want to hear it.

Okay, walk with me
to the store.

Okay.

Good afternoon.

Whatever.

Sir, I was wondering
if I might sneak out of work

a tad early this evening?

You don't have to sneak,
I won't be there.

Splendid.

Because, uh, tonight I was
going to take Allison out.

What's with you guys?

You're always taking her places,
doing things.

It's called dating, sir.

It's where one gives money to a
restaurant or theater,

as opposed to merely leaving it
on the woman's dresser.

I've heard of it.

So, where are you going?

We're going to see the
Thannhausser Collection

at the Guggenheim.

[Giggles]

Funny words.

Oh, how about this.

Margaux and I will double with
you and Allison

and we'll all go to the
booger-hammer.

It's the Guggenheim, and,

oh, I'd love to, sir,
but we have other plans.

What are you talking about,
you just said

that's what
you are doing!

It was worth a shot.

However,
I'm not sure our plans

are exactly
your cup of tea, sir.

Well,
that's true,

but they are
Margaux's cup of tea.

She's french
and highly cultured.

And I really want to
creme her brulee.

Well sir,
I'm flattered.

Basically, you'd like to
piggy-back off of my refinement.

Sure, whatever gets me
in the Google-hummer.

♪ How many ways
to say I love you? ♪

♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared ♪

♪ with you by my side ♪

♪ there is no denying ♪

♪ that I can't wait
for me and you ♪

♪ Rules of Engagement 5x07 ♪
Mannequin Head Ball Original Air Date on November 1, 2010

-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

And that is
how Tom Sawyer

tricked the
other boys

into painting
the fence for him.

Man, they were gullible.

That's
pretty clever how

Tom convinced them
that work was fun.

Hey, I'm gonna go roll those
chairs over by the wall.

No, I wanna.

I can't believe
that I have to pay rent

on this
useless crap shack!

Down to one income,
I'm working all the time.

Yeah, there you go.

You know,
it's not healthy

to keep that
all bottled up, man.

Let it out,
hit something.

Oh, thanks buddy.
Face or gut?

No!

No, no, no, no.
Not me.

Here, use this.

No, still not me.

Gah!

[Grunts]

Feel better?

Yeah.

Hey, think fast.

Come on!

Goal!

No goal!
It went out of bounds first.

This a
ruling for the

commissioner of
mannequin head ball.

I'll allow it.

Well, I say no goal.

And I am the president of
mannequin head ball.

Who do you report to?

The commissioner.

Okay, then.

What a wonderful exhibit.

Oh, I know.

How about
all that art, huh?

It was all over
the walls and stuff.

Oh, the Picasso,
and the Rubens.

Oh, they have those here?

You're funny.

Allison and I favored
the Italian futurists.

Mm.

They are good.

Timmy, this might
be the wine talking

but I think I'd like
another glass of wine.

And I think that's
an excellent idea.

I'm sure Margaux here
can attest

to wine's many
health benefits.

Oui, oui.

Yes, it does
make you do that.

What a lovely evening.

Yes, it certainly is.

A most lovely evening.

Sir, a bottle of
your finest bubbles.

Ah, champagne.

Mais naturellement.

Bravo, mon ami.

Russell, are all your friends
so sophisticated?

Oh, my God, yes.

Oh, dude, no farting.

I'll allow it.

[Alarm ringing]

Okay, okay!
It's halftime!

Halftime!

Man, this is the
greatest game ever.

I know.

It's already better
than soccer.

Whoa, whoa.

I told Jen
I'd be home by now.

I told Audrey
I'd be back for movie night.

That's too bad,
this is the best.

For the first time in weeks
I'm not all stressed out.

Now is not
the time to go home

and watch some damn
Tilda Swinton movie.

Which is why it's too bad
we both have to work late.

You gotta go
back to the office?

You...

You don't
get things, do you?

Not usually.

I'm saying that's what
we tell the girls.

Oh.

That's why you're
the commissioner.

Head in play.

This is the security camera
feed for the store?

The landlord
sent me a link.

I logged on to see if Jeff
had cleaned the place,

and I found this.

And they have no idea
that we can see them?

Do they look like people who
know they're being watched?

For the first time in weeks
he's not working late,

and instead of coming home,
he does this.

Is that a mannequin head
they're hitting?

God, I hope so.

Well, well, well.

Look at both of us,
working it.

It, of course,
being our mojo.

Spritz, please.

One for the Jersey side.

It's going well.

By showing frenchie
I'm a man of culture,

I'll see Paris, France,

and her underpants.

Artfully said, sir.

And your presence has not
affected Allison

in a
negative way at all.

In fact, she is showing
distinct signs of friskiness.

Well, I'm happy to have
foamed down the runway for you.

That you did.

A little gay.

Look what I did.

Wow.

In hi-def the stupidity
just leaps off the screen.

It's kind of like watching
a nature documentary.

Yeah, about apes.

In their crude game,
the smaller primate

seems to have
bested the silver-back,

causing him to retaliate.

Ooh!
The smaller one cowers,

and presents his bottom
as a sign of submission.

Ooh.

Let's see what happens when
outside stimulus

is introduced
to their environment.

[Phone ringing]

Hey, Aud.

Hey, it's almost 8:00.

You gonna make it home
for movie night?

Oh, I wish I could,
but I'm stuck at work again.

Really.

'Cause I called you at work,
it went straight to voicemail.

I'm working in
the conference room,

it's closer to the can.

The silver-back
is a skilled liar.

Uh, okay.
Well, I hope I see you soon.

It's probably
going to be a few hours,

will you quit it?

Is someone there with you?

No, I was talking to you.

Quit it, Audrey,
quit keeping me from my working.

Back at it.
Okay, bye.

He's such a good liar,
he took all the fun out of it.

Well, we know who's gonna
put the fun back in it.

[Phone ringing]

No.

[Phone ringing]

Give it to me.

Don't worry, I got this.

Hey, Jen.

I got stuck in the subway
between stations.

There's no reception,
I can't hear you.

Oh, so you can't
hear me at all?

I can't
hear you at all.

Uh...

The subway snake!

Lying sacks.

You know what?

I'm recording this,

so I can rub it in Jeff's face
when he gets home later.

Subway snakes.

I'm gonna have my tubes tied.

I just feel lucky
that I found someone

who shares
my thirst for culture.

Moi aussi.

Mm.

Ooh.

What is it?

You take my breath away.

It must be the champagne.

Oh, I think it's more
than just the champagne.

Excuse me, I need to
use the ladies room.

Oh, hmm.

I'll join you.

Don't be long.

Do hurry back.

Both: [Giggling]

Both: [Yelling]

Aah!

Ow!

My back,
I can't get up.

You look like a turtle.

Heh, ironic.

Well, the show ended
a while ago,

so the guys
should be home soon.

Well, they could have been
delayed by the subway snakes.

Have you decided how you are
going to bust Jeff?

I have.

I'm going to ask him to tell me
all about work,

effectively
handing him a shovel,

with which to
dig his own grave.

Then as he stands on the
precipice of said grave,

I am going to press play,
and enjoy the thud.

I'm just going to
hide Adam's hair gel.

Ah, the apes return
to their nesting grounds.

Aah.

Look at you guys,
you're both so sweaty.

Oh yeah, it's from doing
separate activities

in different parts
of the city.

Well, it's late.

You guys must be hungry.

I'll warm up some dinner,

but, uh, in the meantime,
want a banana?

Ooh.
Aah.

That's a nice treat,
isn't it?

Come on, Adam.
Let's go home.

Yeah, I should shower.

This sweat
is making me itchy.

It's a shame
you had to work late again.

Someone's gotta
bring home the bacon, right?

Yeah.

So, what did you do
at work tonight?

I had to clean up
some accounts,

check out
some foreign markets.

Diversification.

A lot of stock stuff.

Yeah?

Dow, Nasdaq.

Well, I had an interesting
evening too, and, uh,

I'd like to
share it with you.

Oh, okay.

But, hey.

What?

I know that I've
been stressed

about work
and everything, lately

and I've probably been
taking it out on you.

So...Sorry.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, thanks.

I appreciate that.

But, you know,

I got to work through
some stuff today,

and you know what?

I'm feeling a lot better.

Well...

That's great.

And, let's just
be in this together.

All right?

I mean, I was dumb for thinking
I could sell cookies,

and, you were dumb
for renting the store.

There's plenty of dumb
to go around here.

And, um, anyway,
what did you want to show me?

No, it's not important.

It never is.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

All right, look.

If you need to work late,
if that makes you feel better,

I'm okay with it,
I'm good here.

Jen and I found
a new show to watch, actually.

It's a nature thing.

It's one of
those deals where

dumb animals
do stupid things?

Pretty much.

I'll warm up your dinner.

I'm gonna finish my banana.

[Grunts]

Given our legs
were in a tangle,

and we'd all
had a lot to drink,

it was an
understandable mistake.

Okay, now you know,
and we can all move on.

Dude, we held hands.

They're not moving on
for years.

I mean, it was just
a matter of time for you two.

All the tension,
the need for release.

Mm.

Stop it, don't touch me,
I don't want to be touched.

That's not
what he said.

What on earth
are you doing?

I'm trying to
get on their side,

I don't like it here.

Plus my back is
still killing me.

Way to go, slugger.

Uh, you know what
you guys both need

is a
shot of testosterone.

Oh, already getting them.

That's not what I meant.

Adam and I discovered something
that might help you gals

erase the memory
of last night.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Oh!
Trick shot!

Yeah!

Nice work.

Yeah.

Fancy another game,
old man?

Oh, you know what?
Bring it.

I think this is working.

I'm starting to
feel more manly already.

Indeed.

I too feel masculinity
cascading from stem to stern.

This one's
still got a ways to go.

Yeah.
Head in play.

This show just
keeps getting better.

I like the way they added
these new characters

to keep it fresh.

Ow, ow, ow!

My back, I can't move!

What are you doing?

Aah!

Stop the game!

He's mounting me!

I'll allow it!

Ow, my back!

I can't move!

Did not see that coming.

Uh-oh.

Wait, I think
they're on to us.

-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

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