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1
00:00:04,436 --> 00:00:06,137
Today the, uh, reno sheriff's
department is testing out
2
00:00:06,238 --> 00:00:08,907
A new high-tech
bulletproof vest
3
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:12,911
Which is, uh, designed to
protect us during altercations.
4
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:16,981
This one could pretty much stop
a macke truck if it had to.
5
00:00:17,082 --> 00:00:18,383
Okay.
6
00:00:18,484 --> 00:00:19,751
Ready ?
7
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,886
Steady...
8
00:00:21,987 --> 00:00:24,022
Oh, shit !
9
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,859
Whoo !
Come here !
10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,294
( tires screeching )
11
00:00:31,096 --> 00:00:33,064
Oh... Ah !
12
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,734
Whoa !
13
00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:42,741
( growling )
14
00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:50,748
( sirens blaring )
15
00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:05,530
( siren blaring )
16
00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:10,468
( dangle )
morning, gang.
17
00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:12,671
Everybody, uh, remembers
how the reverend lecarp
18
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,872
From channel 38's
"half hour of power"
19
00:01:14,973 --> 00:01:16,274
Wanted to
come by the station ?
20
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:17,442
Yes...
21
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:18,776
He's here.
22
00:01:18,877 --> 00:01:20,212
Jones is giving him
a tour right now,
23
00:01:20,312 --> 00:01:22,279
So, uh,
best behavior.
24
00:01:22,381 --> 00:01:24,382
And, uh, no swearing.
25
00:01:24,483 --> 00:01:25,884
No swearing ?
26
00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:27,452
Maybe ?
While the reverend's here ?
27
00:01:27,553 --> 00:01:28,386
Good idea.
28
00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:29,487
Get it out now.
29
00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:30,689
Cocksucker,
motherfucker...
30
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:31,722
Fuck, fuck, fuck...
31
00:01:31,823 --> 00:01:32,824
Cunt...
32
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:35,259
... Bitch,
suck my dick.
33
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,827
Good.
34
00:01:36,928 --> 00:01:38,830
Balls.
35
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,099
Reverend lecarp
is amazing.
36
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,067
That man
is the closest thing
37
00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:46,137
You're ever going to get to
jesus on this side of heaven.
38
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,172
I watch reverend lecarp's show
every week.
39
00:01:48,273 --> 00:01:50,174
I love that boy.
40
00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:53,178
Uh, next to that weird,
kind of indian-looking fellow
41
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,013
With the nehru jacket
42
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,349
Who dances the devil
out of people on that show,
43
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,650
I think he's the best
televangelist there is.
44
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:00,952
You watch his show ?
45
00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:05,390
I'd rather, uh, watch cats
eat their own shit.
46
00:02:06,325 --> 00:02:07,592
Uh, reverend lecarp,
everyone.
47
00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:08,826
Bless you all !
48
00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:10,628
Bless each
and every one of you !
49
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:11,897
It's a joy to see you !
50
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,531
Happy-- how are you ?
What's your name ?
51
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,599
Travis junior.
52
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,966
Bless you, travis.
Come here.
53
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,035
Thank you so much.
54
00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,669
Clementine ?
55
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,371
Clementine !
Hello.
56
00:02:20,472 --> 00:02:21,772
Come here, baby,
how are you doing ?
57
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,941
Your highlights
look really good.
58
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,277
Yours, too !
59
00:02:25,377 --> 00:02:26,878
Well, I'm trudy.
Hi, trudy.
60
00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:30,215
I'm gonna talk to you
a little bit if you don't mind.
61
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,484
Thanks for inviting me.
62
00:02:34,686 --> 00:02:37,221
10 years ago...
63
00:02:37,322 --> 00:02:40,124
I was a sinner.
64
00:02:40,225 --> 00:02:44,462
I sinned, and I was caught,
and I was incarcerated.
65
00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:47,165
In this very jail.
66
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:48,399
No ?
Yes.
67
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:52,804
Even though I didn't
get my one phone call,
68
00:02:52,905 --> 00:02:54,238
And I don't know why--
69
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,174
Still to this day
I'm wondering that--
70
00:02:56,275 --> 00:02:59,210
God called me.
71
00:02:59,311 --> 00:03:02,780
And I answered
because I was home.
72
00:03:02,881 --> 00:03:04,149
Come on,
now !
73
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,550
Hallelujah.
74
00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:08,552
He told me he wants me
to be his messenger.
75
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:10,555
Go out and be his tool.
76
00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,290
And I vowed right then
I would go out
77
00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:17,095
And be the biggest tool
I could be for jesus !
78
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,230
Tool for jesus.
79
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:23,300
Two nights ago,
god spoke to me again.
80
00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:27,204
And he said, "gigg,
bring it full circle."
81
00:03:27,306 --> 00:03:30,708
He said, "gigg,
take it back to the genesis.
82
00:03:30,809 --> 00:03:32,810
"go back to where
it all began
83
00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:35,914
"and broadcast a special
'half hour of power' show
84
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:40,017
"from that jail
so you can save some souls
85
00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:42,654
In the same cell
that you were saved !"
86
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:46,290
( laughing )
( applause )
87
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,558
When did he say
to do it ?
88
00:03:47,659 --> 00:03:49,427
He said
as soon as possible.
89
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:50,828
You know,
I'm ready now.
90
00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:52,030
How's Friday ?
91
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,130
Friday's fine.
92
00:03:53,231 --> 00:03:55,900
Friday's
absolutely fine.
93
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,068
Good to see you all.
94
00:03:57,169 --> 00:03:59,103
A pleasure,
pleasure to meet you.
95
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:01,206
God and jesus.
And baby jesus, too.
96
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,173
Bless you back !
97
00:04:02,274 --> 00:04:03,375
Thank you !
98
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,410
Bless you back.
99
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,446
There ain't nobody
in that cell.
100
00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:10,214
It's empty,
it's been empty for two days.
101
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,782
We've got to round up
some perps, asap.
102
00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:13,517
Ladies, you wanna
be in charge of that ?
103
00:04:13,618 --> 00:04:15,786
Uh, nobody weird looking,
nobody skeevy.
104
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,223
No goiters and
stabbers or anything.
105
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,024
Right, no skeevy
goiter stabbers.
106
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:22,093
Right.
107
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:27,498
We should probably just go down
to hooker heaven, and, uh...
108
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,735
There's gotta be
some girls down there.
109
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,771
Is that
that new bagel place ?
110
00:04:33,872 --> 00:04:36,240
Hooker heaven ?
111
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,675
I hear you,
I'm not deaf.
112
00:04:37,776 --> 00:04:39,744
No, no.
113
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:40,879
Tell me where
to go, then.
114
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,714
There are not
bagels there.
115
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,282
Oh, where the hookers
hang out.
116
00:04:44,383 --> 00:04:46,150
Why can't you
just speak english ?
117
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,118
( siren )
118
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:48,319
See, now they're
trying to leave.
119
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,354
Ho, ho, ho !
Hey, right there !
120
00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:51,656
Ladies !
121
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:53,191
Hello.
How you doing...
122
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:54,458
Debonne.
123
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:55,593
Debonne...
124
00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:59,030
Listen, um,
can you do me a favor ?
125
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,198
Do you speak english ?
126
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:01,933
Speak english.
127
00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:04,001
Okay,
that's a good start.
128
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,103
Would you repeat
after me ?
129
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:07,505
Mm-hmm.
130
00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:08,807
"thank you, jesus."
131
00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:10,341
Thank you, jesus.
132
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:12,744
That's a little...
"soul train."
133
00:05:12,844 --> 00:05:14,312
I think
she's doing good.
134
00:05:14,413 --> 00:05:15,446
"thank you, jesus !"
135
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,115
Jesus is up there.
136
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,018
Thank you, jesus !
137
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,919
Wow, that was good.
138
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,087
I'm buying it.
139
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,722
Yeah,
you're good at that.
140
00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:26,190
Es que sao actriz
yo trabajo en brazil a-a... Mucho tiempo.
141
00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:28,192
All right,
thanks.
142
00:05:28,293 --> 00:05:30,628
You know the drill.
143
00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:32,597
Congratulations.
You're under arrest.
144
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:33,998
Get in the car.
145
00:05:34,099 --> 00:05:35,599
All of that.
146
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,936
So I figure we can just
maybe put her in a wheelchair.
147
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:40,004
In a pinch, we can do that,
that's a good idea.
148
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,606
You're always thinking,
trudy.
149
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:43,708
Everybody loves a cripple.
( giggles )
150
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,781
Hey !
Howdy.
151
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:51,849
How you doing,
jimmy jam ?
152
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:53,084
Good, buddy.
153
00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:54,051
Good to see you.
154
00:05:54,152 --> 00:05:55,686
Hello, officer,
nice to see you.
155
00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:56,721
How you doing ?
156
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:58,523
I'm fine, thank you
for coming out today.
157
00:05:58,624 --> 00:05:59,757
We need to take
the sign down.
158
00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:02,193
You know, more than
just take the sign down,
159
00:06:02,294 --> 00:06:04,962
We have to take the power
of that word down.
160
00:06:05,063 --> 00:06:07,899
Because that word--
free lemonade for--
161
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,300
No, no--
yo, yo, yo.
162
00:06:09,401 --> 00:06:10,401
Hold on.
163
00:06:10,502 --> 00:06:11,703
We're gonna change it around.
We're putting--
164
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:14,538
Right now,
nigger is a giant lemon.
165
00:06:14,639 --> 00:06:16,975
It's a giant, yellow,
sour lemon,
166
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,177
But when you put it
inside the sweet ice,
167
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:20,912
The delicious,
fresh water,
168
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,347
And the pure crystallized
sugar of love,
169
00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:24,582
That's what we're doing.
170
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:27,351
And we're making niggers
into lemonade.
171
00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:29,153
Free lemonade
for niggers !
172
00:06:29,254 --> 00:06:31,155
No more horn.
173
00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:32,457
I'm tired
of this damn horn.
174
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,827
It's done, it's done,
you're done, it's over.
175
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,462
Racism is never over,
officer.
176
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,631
This is about making sure
that everybody knows--
177
00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:42,266
( screaming )
178
00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:44,034
What the-- oh !
179
00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:54,479
If reverend lecarp was
busted 10 years ago,
180
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,147
You must have been
working here then, right ?
181
00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:57,582
That is correct.
182
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,817
I was on duty with
lieutenant dangle at the time.
183
00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:02,319
We tried to apprehend
mr. Lecarp.
184
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,755
He was high on p.C.P.
185
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,457
He made a move
for both of us,
186
00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:09,760
And he bought himself
some "stick time".
187
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,129
( clears throat )
188
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,197
What do you mean ?
189
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:17,735
Normal means of apprehension
were at a failing point.
190
00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:22,006
I found it necessary
to take out my stick
191
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:25,810
And send him a message
from my lord.
192
00:07:25,911 --> 00:07:29,347
Where did you deliver
that message to on his person ?
193
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:32,483
That would be
in the head area.
194
00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:34,051
As far as
revered lecarp goes,
195
00:07:34,152 --> 00:07:36,554
I am-- I am very partial
196
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:39,256
To people
with large teeth,
197
00:07:39,357 --> 00:07:43,928
So, uh, for me--
very big fan.
198
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,630
Those are false,
of course.
199
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:51,302
His real ones went down the
toilet right here in this hall.
200
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:52,937
Really ?
Oh, yeah.
201
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:54,538
Hmm.
202
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,308
Stick time,
garcia style.
203
00:07:57,409 --> 00:08:00,644
I'm going to have to
rethink that, then.
204
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,446
Yeah,
these all seem...
205
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,981
These all seem fine.
Good.
206
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,317
Uh, I was a little
concerned with--
207
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:08,920
What's that in the back part
here called "the rider" ?
208
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,755
I don't know all these
kinds of fruits here.
209
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:15,259
Uh, there's the, uh,
brassberry.
210
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,829
I've never heard
of that, is the thing.
211
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:20,397
I had be happy to get you
fresh brassberries,
212
00:08:20,498 --> 00:08:21,866
Except
I've never heard of it.
213
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:25,169
Brassberries were actually,
uh, eaten by noah.
214
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:26,437
See, noah,
215
00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:28,639
And he would chew it for
the small animals on the ark
216
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,976
And then... You know, spit it
back into their mouth.
217
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:33,677
To feed them
like a mama bird.
218
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,245
Brassberries.
Brassberries.
219
00:08:35,346 --> 00:08:36,880
Can I suggest--
make a suggestion ?
220
00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:39,016
Raspberries.
221
00:08:39,117 --> 00:08:40,418
Won't work.
No ?
222
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:43,153
Uh, private security,
these private security people.
223
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,955
I mean, we are,
you know...
224
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,423
You are what ?
225
00:08:46,524 --> 00:08:48,893
We're security people,
we're armed.
226
00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:51,162
If-- if you're
going to protect me,
227
00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:57,334
Who's going to protect me
from you, lieutenant ?
228
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,740
Oh, you will ?
Okay.
229
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:03,774
You went like that...
230
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,443
I didn't know if you meant
the lord or you.
231
00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,144
The last item
is a hard "no."
232
00:09:07,245 --> 00:09:08,712
A hard "no" ?
Yeah.
233
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:11,115
Is that like more of a "no"
than a soft "no" ?
234
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:12,216
Yeah,
hardest one there is.
235
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,651
Or a flaccid "no."
236
00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:15,019
Hardest one
there is.
237
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,987
Or a "no" that's almost there,
but I drank a little too much
238
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:18,923
And I can't get
the big, hard "no."
239
00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:20,758
Yeah, I just hit this
"no" with my car,
240
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,426
Now I got
$400 in damage.
241
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:24,361
It-- it's a
personal-appearance fee.
242
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,397
Now, I came in here
earlier--
243
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:28,032
It's a personal-appearance
fee of--
244
00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,667
$75,000.
245
00:09:29,768 --> 00:09:30,735
No.
246
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:33,671
No ?
No.
247
00:09:33,772 --> 00:09:36,107
Okay, how about a case
of jack daniel ?
248
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:39,043
How about a case
of bud light ?
249
00:09:39,144 --> 00:09:42,279
And done,
and done.
250
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,049
Easy-peasy-japanesey.
Wonderful.
251
00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:49,319
Okay, ma'am.
252
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:50,621
She took a swing
at you, then, right ?
253
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:51,688
Yeah.
254
00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:52,957
You wanna go ahead
and press charges there ?
255
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:54,191
Please.
Okay, we will.
256
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:57,061
Can I--
can I ask you--
257
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,697
Um, so, um, when do you think
this is gonna be on ?
258
00:09:59,798 --> 00:10:01,632
Pardon me ?
259
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,267
When do you think
this is gonna be on ?
260
00:10:03,368 --> 00:10:05,536
Uh...
261
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,071
Do you know that ?
Do they tell you now, or...
262
00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:09,373
We don't usually get
that information.
263
00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:13,044
To be truthful,
it probably won't air.
264
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,913
Yeah, this is
cutting-room-floor material
265
00:10:16,014 --> 00:10:19,683
'cause it really was not
very dramatic or--
266
00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:21,618
( screams )
267
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,287
Whoa !
Hey !
268
00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:26,890
Okay, okay,
calm down.
269
00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:29,226
Put it back down.
Put it down.
270
00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:30,161
Stop it !
Stop it !
271
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,629
Get off me !
272
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,297
Don't
hurt me !
273
00:10:33,398 --> 00:10:35,667
Don't hurt me !
Don't hurt me !
274
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,302
Will that get on,
you think ?
275
00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:40,170
Turn back around.
276
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,872
Thank you
very much.
277
00:10:41,973 --> 00:10:43,574
Number one,
can you please step forward
278
00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:46,811
And sing the first line
of "amazing grace" ?
279
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:51,482
Amazing grace,
how sweet the sound--
280
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,851
Uh, sir,
a little less attitude
281
00:10:53,952 --> 00:10:56,454
And a little more reverence
for the baby jesus.
282
00:10:56,554 --> 00:10:58,589
Mm-hmm.
283
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:04,395
ââ¢Âª amazing grace... ââ¢Âª
284
00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:05,729
Mmm-hmm.
285
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:10,067
ââ¢Âª how sweet
the sound ââ¢Âª
286
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,737
Like an angel.
Mm-hmm.
287
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,338
A-fucking-men.
288
00:11:14,439 --> 00:11:15,706
Did you all
hear that ?
289
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:20,778
ââ¢Âª amazing grace... ââ¢Âª
290
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,513
Mm, excellent,
number two.
291
00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:24,048
Very good.
Excellent.
292
00:11:24,149 --> 00:11:25,349
You know
what I thought of ?
293
00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:28,052
I thought of the underground
railroad when you did that.
294
00:11:28,153 --> 00:11:29,153
That was really good.
295
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:30,521
That's weird--
it's trudy again--
296
00:11:30,622 --> 00:11:32,089
I thought about
harriet tubman.
297
00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:35,526
Who ran the underground
railroad-- f.Y.I.
298
00:11:35,627 --> 00:11:38,062
And she also had a seat
on the very first bus.
299
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:39,363
Mm-hmm.
300
00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:41,532
Congratulations, you're
moving on to the next round.
301
00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:43,901
The rest of you
can go home.
302
00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:46,337
Numbers one and two,
you're still under arrest.
303
00:11:46,437 --> 00:11:48,539
Congratulations.
304
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,208
We did good, clemmy.
305
00:11:50,308 --> 00:11:51,809
Yeah,
I'm proud of us.
306
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,845
That one could be on
a christmas tree--
307
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,946
Number one.
308
00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:58,348
Like, he could
slit your throat
309
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:01,152
And then go sit on top
of your christmas tree.
310
00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:13,230
Man, I love
graffitiing.
311
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,366
You can
say that again.
312
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,800
( siren blares )
313
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,469
Having fun ?
314
00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,070
Yep.
Yep.
315
00:12:20,171 --> 00:12:21,805
I guess that's because
neither of you
316
00:12:21,906 --> 00:12:24,909
Has ever had to
toss anyone's salad.
317
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,444
Excuse me ?
318
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,312
Graffitiing
is illegal,
319
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,849
And it's a sure-fire way
to get yourself in jail.
320
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:34,051
And trust me,
when you get to jail,
321
00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:37,421
You're gonna have to toss
some of the bigger guys' salad.
322
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:40,157
But I don't even know
what tossing salads is.
323
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:43,660
Some folks say
it's worse than rape.
324
00:12:43,761 --> 00:12:45,696
Some folk say better.
325
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:49,299
Keep up the graffitiing,
and you're gonna find out.
326
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,202
Whatever it is,
it doesn't sound fun.
327
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:52,737
So play it safe,
328
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:56,040
And if your friends ask you
to do graffitiing with them,
329
00:12:56,141 --> 00:12:59,710
Tell them, "no, thanks.
I don't like salad."
330
00:12:59,811 --> 00:13:01,912
I'm deputy
raineesha williams.
331
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,614
Keepin' it real.
332
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:05,917
Real safe.
333
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,024
Now, when reverend lecarp
was arrested
334
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,491
You was working here.
335
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:15,726
Oh, yeah,
oh, yeah.
336
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:17,028
Me and garcia
pulled him in.
337
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,395
Really ?
Oh, yeah.
338
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:19,630
What'd he do ?
339
00:13:19,731 --> 00:13:20,931
Uh...
( snaps fingers )
340
00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:22,366
Little bit of that,
341
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:23,768
( sniffs )
little bit of that.
342
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,569
A little bit of...
343
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,304
The hat trick.
344
00:13:27,405 --> 00:13:30,941
He was doing coke and
jacking off playing poker ?
345
00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:34,178
Pretty much, yeah.
346
00:13:34,279 --> 00:13:36,347
Normally, we don't get calls
to this part of town.
347
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:38,382
But it seems as if
there was trouble
348
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,918
At one of the casino shows,
so we're gonna check it out.
349
00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:43,754
Come on down,
talk to us.
350
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,689
( german accent )
it was terrible.
351
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:46,790
What happened ?
352
00:13:46,891 --> 00:13:48,292
Oh, so terrible.
353
00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:49,460
Yeah.
354
00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:50,827
What-- okay,
okay, sir.
355
00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:52,229
Okay,
what happened ?
356
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,831
Oh, it was...
Oh !
357
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,934
Just take it
one thing at a time.
358
00:13:57,035 --> 00:13:58,635
There was...
359
00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:00,470
Oh !
360
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:02,139
I was in there.
361
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:06,811
There's the show, "magical
mystery caravan" from peoria.
362
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,145
It was the show.
363
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:09,880
Oh,
it was finish.
364
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:14,684
I was very happy,
but I--
365
00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:16,987
Honey, I can't understand you,
what are you saying ?
366
00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:18,722
I was happy
the show was...
367
00:14:18,823 --> 00:14:20,524
( indistinct talking )
368
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:22,359
A crash,
sound like-- like a...
369
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:23,628
Boom.
370
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,830
Exactly.
Okay, okay.
371
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:29,467
Anybody on the show
speak english ?
372
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:32,069
I am the best of the
speaking english in this one.
373
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:34,071
Look at me
and say what I say.
374
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:36,140
Hallelujah !
375
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:37,307
Can you do that ?
You.
376
00:14:37,408 --> 00:14:40,010
Mely-- melyonya.
377
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:44,448
No, hallelujah.
378
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:45,850
Maybe if you
spelled it out. Let's go, garcia.
379
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,718
Hallelujah...
Hallelujah.
380
00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:49,253
Garcia,
let's roll.
381
00:14:49,354 --> 00:14:52,088
All-- all-- allean--
alleanewya !
382
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,957
Garcia, you're
about to get left.
383
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:57,661
We'll be back, okay ?
Hold tight.
384
00:14:57,762 --> 00:15:00,731
Can't keep this waiting
for so long.
385
00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:04,502
Okay... Okay. No, I'm not
a fan of reverend "lecrap"
386
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,770
Coming here
to tape his show.
387
00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:08,506
I think it makes a mockery
of where we work
388
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,909
And what we do as
law-enforcement officials.
389
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:14,478
I think he's taking advantage
of the goodness of, uh,
390
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:19,416
Dangle's heart, in order
to make us look like fools.
391
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:20,584
No.
392
00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:22,653
And I hope he slips
on vomit. No.
393
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,455
You already
look like fools.
394
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,991
He's not making you look like
what you already are.
395
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:32,530
Let him
that hath known himself
396
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:37,701
Unto thine truth
walk therein.
397
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,336
Huh ?
398
00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:42,039
That's in the bible.
399
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,911
( man )
you're watching channel 38,
400
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,579
And it's time for reverend
lecarp's "half hour of power."
401
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,015
And welcome back.
402
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,151
I hope you enjoyed that short
film with the little babies
403
00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:57,554
That need your help
so they don't be eaten.
404
00:15:57,655 --> 00:16:01,024
Let's go inside
and see what's inside this cell
405
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,993
And who's gonna be needing
my saving.
406
00:16:03,094 --> 00:16:04,728
Because this is the cell--
407
00:16:04,829 --> 00:16:07,965
The very cell--
that I saw the light.
408
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:09,966
God talked to me
in this cell.
409
00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,535
And who do we
have here ?
410
00:16:11,636 --> 00:16:13,070
No, no, no...
Don't, no.
411
00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:17,208
She-- I see that you're...
You're crippled.
412
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:21,545
What sort of--
of dirt inside the mud
413
00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:28,085
Would ever, ever take advantage
of a crippled prostitute ?
414
00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:29,553
She's got to be healed !
415
00:16:29,654 --> 00:16:30,721
Now, listen to me,
what's your name ?
416
00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:34,024
( speaking spanish )
417
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,860
( gasps )
she's talking in tongues !
418
00:16:36,961 --> 00:16:39,029
Hallelujah !
419
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:42,466
On the count of three,
one... Two... Three.
420
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:45,036
Rise off
of that wheelchair.
421
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,570
Just look at her, rise !
422
00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:50,674
( cheers and applause )
423
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,384
This is such
a special moment for me.
424
00:17:01,485 --> 00:17:02,853
If you're just joining us,
again,
425
00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:05,455
This is the cell
that I myself found god,
426
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:08,192
Or shall I say,
god found me.
427
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:09,493
I baptized myself
428
00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:13,130
Right in that very, uh,
stainless-steel toilet.
429
00:17:13,231 --> 00:17:15,132
Someone in here needs me.
430
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:20,070
Someone in here needs
my saving.
431
00:17:20,171 --> 00:17:21,605
Guide me now.
432
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,307
Yes, yes.
433
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:25,076
Y-- no, no.
434
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:28,045
Yes, yes !
435
00:17:28,146 --> 00:17:31,682
Why, it's you,
officer garcia !
436
00:17:31,783 --> 00:17:32,716
Hallelujah !
437
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,418
( cheers and applause )
438
00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:35,586
He needs saving !
439
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,120
He doesn't think he does,
but he does.
440
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,156
Doesn't officer garcia
need saving ?
441
00:17:39,257 --> 00:17:41,358
( cheers and applause )
442
00:17:41,459 --> 00:17:43,160
Garcia, I want you
to stand here.
443
00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:44,828
Now, listen
to me, garcia.
444
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,196
He's lost !
445
00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:48,131
He's lost,
that's exactly what he is.
446
00:17:48,232 --> 00:17:49,300
You are lost.
447
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,868
And evil !
And evil !
448
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,102
The choir's
telling you.
449
00:17:52,203 --> 00:17:53,470
What is he ?
He's a loser.
450
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:55,038
That's not true.
451
00:17:55,139 --> 00:17:56,440
Evil and a loser--
well, you know it is.
452
00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:57,574
I mean,
you've got to be honest.
453
00:17:57,675 --> 00:17:59,509
What don't you like
about garcia ?
454
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:00,710
He's a mexican.
455
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:05,015
You're a mexican, you're evil,
and you're a loser.
456
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,885
I want you to know that
no matter what ever happens,
457
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:12,489
I love you
and god loves you.
458
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:14,992
ââ¢Âª gonna lay down
my burden... ââ¢Âª
459
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,226
I look
into your eyes,
460
00:18:16,327 --> 00:18:20,197
And I know that you are
a gentle man inside.
461
00:18:20,298 --> 00:18:23,266
ââ¢Âª down by the riverside ââ¢Âª
462
00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:25,168
I want you to relax,
because I'm gonna save you.
463
00:18:25,269 --> 00:18:27,638
You're not an evil man,
you're not a sad man.
464
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:31,141
You're not a stupid man,
and you're not ugly.
465
00:18:31,242 --> 00:18:32,609
I love you,
466
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,678
And I love you
with all your sins.
467
00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:37,581
Just wash the sins away,
because you are loved.
468
00:18:37,682 --> 00:18:40,551
You are loved, and I'm
gonna save you right now.
469
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,220
Look at my hand
and feel my energy.
470
00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:45,655
Get ready to touch my hand now,
you're gonna be saved !
471
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,390
You're gonna be saved now !
472
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,125
You're gonna
meet god right now !
473
00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:50,794
Saving, I'm saving !
474
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:54,365
I'm saving !
I'm saving !
475
00:18:54,465 --> 00:18:56,866
Saving--
dance with me.
476
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,335
( voice breaking )
I'm not gonna cry.
477
00:18:58,436 --> 00:19:00,570
I'm not gonna cry.
478
00:19:00,671 --> 00:19:02,105
You're full of love now.
479
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,607
I-I love you, sir.
480
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,042
You love me.
Yes, sir, I do.
481
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:06,577
Look in the camera and say,
"I love..."
482
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,645
I love...
"reverend"...
483
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:09,946
Reverend...
"gigg..."
484
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,882
Gigg...
"lecarp."
485
00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:13,216
Lecarp.
"and I'm sorry..."
486
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:14,551
And I-I'm sorry...
487
00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:15,852
"for beatin'..."
488
00:19:15,953 --> 00:19:17,320
For... Do--
for beatin'...
489
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,355
"for beatin'..."
490
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:20,257
For beatin'...
"him..."
491
00:19:20,358 --> 00:19:21,825
Him...
"in this cell..."
492
00:19:21,926 --> 00:19:22,826
In this cell...
493
00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:24,527
"beating him silly."
( sobs )
494
00:19:24,628 --> 00:19:26,229
You motherfucker !
495
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:27,864
You cocksucker !
496
00:19:27,965 --> 00:19:29,800
You kicked the shit
out of me !
497
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,302
Look at these teeth !
498
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,402
Look at 'em !
499
00:19:32,503 --> 00:19:33,603
Aw, fuck you !
500
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:36,440
Fucking rot in hell,
you cocksucker !
501
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,175
( laughs )
502
00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:39,943
Oh, what are you gonna
do now, garcia ?
503
00:19:40,044 --> 00:19:41,244
What are you gonna do now ?
504
00:19:41,345 --> 00:19:43,647
There's nothing you can--
fucker !
505
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:45,115
Payback's a bitch !
506
00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:49,052
You kicked the shit
out of me, you fucker !
507
00:19:50,621 --> 00:19:52,956
( grunts )
oh, he locked it.
508
00:19:53,057 --> 00:19:54,257
We're probably on commer--
commercial break.
509
00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:57,194
Oh.
Right ?
510
00:19:57,295 --> 00:19:58,962
Well...
511
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,964
He's out there flipping us
the bird right now.
512
00:20:01,065 --> 00:20:03,967
No, he's not--
really ? Yeah.
513
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:07,404
When does the new jailer
get in ?
514
00:20:07,505 --> 00:20:09,506
Tuesday...
Three-day weekend.
515
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:10,807
Aww...
516
00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:12,242
We had to do it
on a Friday.
517
00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:14,645
I got worse news for everybody.
I gotta take a number two.
518
00:20:14,745 --> 00:20:15,746
No, no, no...
519
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,547
( all shouting )
520
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:18,381
You're gonna hold it
like the rest of us.
521
00:20:18,482 --> 00:20:20,483
You're gonna
hold it.
522
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:22,686
Number ones only for
the weekend, all right ?
523
00:20:22,787 --> 00:20:25,055
Number ones only.
524
00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:34,064
Lord god...
Jesus christ.
525
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,866
And the baby jesus,
and the mama jesus
526
00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:39,336
Who rode into bethlehem
on assback--
527
00:20:39,437 --> 00:20:41,371
All of them,
just bless them all.
528
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:45,308
Give these wonderful
swift swords of your right
529
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,979
Doing blessed police work
for your own salvation,
530
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,416
Give them the spirit
and the emotion
531
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,718
A-and the love
of your godly life
532
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,620
To pull off this show
533
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,522
Without screwing it up
too much-- amen !
534
00:20:59,623 --> 00:21:00,591
( all )
amen !
535
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:01,858
Aah !
536
00:21:01,908 --> 00:21:06,458
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