All language subtitles for Psychoville s01ex1 Special.eng

This programme contains
some strong language.

Oh, great!
LAUGHTER

Be careful!

SCREAMS ECHO

VOICES ECHO

DOOR CREAKS

< Come along!

DOOR OPENS

Put them on my desk.

The problem with Halloween
these days,

is that people treat it
like Christmas.

It's lost its true meaning.
For instance,

do you know the real reason
that you're wearing a mask?

Because you said my breath smelt?

Well, yes, it does.

But the real reason
we don masks at Halloween is to ward off evil spirits.

It's the one night of the year
when the divide between the living and the dead is at its thinnest.

Wearing a mask disguises us as dark
spirits, and thus we avoid harm.

Where's your mask then?

Oh, I don't need one.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

Good.

The trick-or-treaters
have arrived.

Let's go and offer them a special
Halloween muffin, shall we?

It's important to keep up
these old traditions.

Oh! I nearly forgot to set the alarm.

< Trick or treat!

< Oh, how marvellous!
Let's have a look at you!

< I suppose you all want a treat?

N-No.

BOY: Sorry.

ALARM RINGS

Right. So here we are...

round the back of the building.

Er...there's a door there.

I'll get some shots round the, er...

front later on
and get a sense of the scale there.

Argh!

Sorry I'm late.

That's OK, I've only just got
here myself. Drew, isn't it? Yeah.

Phil Walker,
Goldfish Bowl Productions. Although I was involved in that.

We spoke on the phone? That's right,
yeah. Thanks for getting in touch.

We've been looking everywhere
for a spooky location and we've had no luck. We've even been to Stoke.

Well, I think this place
might be just what you need.

It certainly looks it
from what I've seen so far.

You wait till we get inside.

Health and Safety would have
a field day with this.

So you want to use it for a
Most Haunted, is that right?

Oh, no, you said the M word!
No, this is a totally different idea.

We've got a team of psychics
investigating haunted houses,

and we're going to film them
with night-vision cameras

so they're totally in the dark but
the audience can see everything. OK.

So how is that different
to Most Haunted?

Well, I haven't seen that show so
I don't know if it's similar or not.

But the big difference is, of course,
we've got Dale. Winton? Yep.

He's sick of the balls,
he wants to get back to something edgier, like his early stuff.

What, like Supermarket Sweep?
Exactly.

So the plan is I get some shots
tonight, you give me a bit of a tour. I take it all back to the director.

If he likes it, it could end up
on Dale's Overnight Ghost Hunts.

Catchy title.
Do you think? I'm not sure about it.

If the place is featured, you get 250
quid and a credit on the end roll.

I don't care about all that.

It's just...

when I saw your advert,

I knew I had to get in touch.

I grew up opposite this place.

It's a massive part of my life.

But there's such
horrible memories too.

That's what Dale says
about Pets Win Prizes.

I told you I met the Governess who
ran the place. When you were a kid.

Well...

..this is where I met her.

No. Get... Stop it! Get off me.

Put me down!

All right, Mitchell, let him go.

Do you have a name, child?

Drew. Drew.

Well, thanks to you,
I've had to reset my alarm.

What were you doing
creeping around in my office?

Answer me, child, or I'll attach you
to Goldilocks here and set you both off screaming.

It was just a dare. For Halloween.

I had to take something.

Did you indeed?

Empty your pockets. Now!

Who do you think you are?

Creeping in here and
taking private property.

Do you know what this is worth?

Or what the consequences would be
should it be lost or stolen?

I'm sorry.

I didn't think. No.
People rarely do.

Sit down.

I'm going to tell you
something about stealing.

And about consequences.

Something to make you think twice
before contemplating such an action again.

And I don't tell you this story
in the hope of frightening you...

..but I'm afraid it probably will.

It was Halloween,
just like tonight,

and a man who didn't think
about his actions

was soon to be taught
a terrible lesson.

Nice costume.

It's not a costume!
These are me work clothes.

It's Halloween every day
for some people, pal! Idiot.

Look at that.

What a waste.

I'll have that when I get in.

DOORBELL RINGS

Trick or treat!

Oh, you look scary!

How old are you? We're both seven.

And can you read yet?

What does that say then?

Shall I read it for you?

No tricks. No treats.

Where's your mother?
Is she hiding in the bushes?

Oh, yeah, so you send your kids
out to do your dirty work for you?

They should be in bed. And she
shouldn't be having any chocolate by the size of her. Piglet!

What are you supposed
to be anyway, green elephants?

Don't you have any treats for us?

Don't push your luck, kid,
I've drowned bigger cats than you.

Sorry about that.
What time can you come round?

Well, let me have a think. I was
going to have me tea now so it's not laying too heavy on my stomach.

Then I was going to watch
Exorcist 1 and Exorcist 3.

I don't bother with
Exorcist 2, it's shit.

Then I'll probably do the pots,
just beans on toast, that's just a pan and a plate.

I think I'll be ready for you by
about midnight, the witching hour!

And how much are we looking at?

80 quid!

Yeah, go on then, I'll treat myself.

Perfect.

DOORBELL RINGS
Trick or treat! Trick or treat!

Go on, say it, then.

How old are you?

Can you not read?

Where's your mother?

Sod you then.

Look, I'm not giving you things
just because you've turned up at me house with masks on.

I work hard to earn money
to buy treats for myself.

All this tick or treat, penny
for the guy, Cancer Research...

I don't do any of it.
Go and beg somewhere else.

Are you deaf as well as stupid?
I'm not involved in this night.

Me no likey.

Are you even doing trick or treat?

You're weird.
All right, trick then. Piss off.

That doesn't mean shoving
dog shit through my...

'And so he settles in for a night of
unalloyed male pleasure.

'A potent mixture of horror films,
junk food and a visit

'from a certain lady of the night and
I don't mean Florence Nightingale.

'In short,
it was all treats, and no tricks.'

Eh? I don't believe this.
Where's the other one?

The Wiggles! Worse than Exorcist 2.

Must have put them
in the wrong boxes.

Some five-year-old's going to be
shitting themselves tonight.

CRUNCHING

Argh! ..Bloody little bastards!

MAN'S VOICE: Hello?

Hello, yes, I want
to make a complaint.

You want to make a complaint? Yeah,
I've got kids here tormenting me.

Tormenting you? They put a rat
in me Pringles and a load of beetles in my chocolate.

Beetles in your chocolate? Yes!
What are you going to do about it?

What are you going to do about it?

Why are you repeating everything
I say? Everything you say?

Who is this?
CHILD'S VOICE: Who is this?

Who is this?

Trick or treat.

HAMMERING AT DOOR

Boo! Aargh!

Sorry about that! I'm Janet.

Busty Janet?

Well, what do you think?

It's nearly midnight and I've brought
some pumpkins for you to play with.

You're my last trick of the night.

You're my biggest treat.

So how many different attachments
have you got then? 16.

Oh! Better than a Dyson.

Yeah, speaking of Dyson's,
when are you going to start...?

All right, give us a chance, I've
not even taken me coat off yet!

Sorry, sorry, it's just
been a weird night. How come?

Never mind. So it says on your card
you cater for all disabilities? Yeah, that's right.

They're much more
appreciative than most punters.

And they do all the work for me,
especially the epileptics.

I have a chap in
Chorlton-cum-Hardy gets me to wee on him once a fortnight.

I don't think he gets off on it,
it just helps with his psoriasis.

Now then, let's get them trousers
off, and get you latched on.

GRUNTING

Careful!

Ow, you're biting me.

Oh, it's too much! Ow!

You're scratching me!
What are you doing?

What's the matter, don't
you like it?

Trick or treat!

I told you I haven't got any treats!

What's that in your pocket then?

Maisie, come on.

I've got to go now. Be careful,
mister, it's dangerous on this road.

Some children died.

I'm putting it back.

All right?

I'm sorry.

I didn't realise.

Hey! Where are you going? Stop!

Trick or treat!

She was right.

She scared me to death
with that story.

But I never stole again.

Sorry, I hope you don't mind.
That was just too good to miss.

I can just imagine Dale telling
that story on the programme,

sat in a big armchair like
Ronnie Corbett.

It's terrifying. I know.
So what's the story with the locket?

I've no idea.
Probably sentimental value.

Though she didn't strike me
as the sentimental type.

What is all this stuff?
Medical equipment mostly.

There were rumours she used to
do experiments on the patients.

Like putting shampoo in the eyes?
Possibly.

We'll never know now, will we?
Didn't she burn to death in a big fire or explosion or something?

So they say.
Some people think she's still here.

What, as a ghost? Yeah.

There have been several sightings.

Brilliant,
I'll get our researchers onto it.

I say researchers, it's one big girl
with an NVQ in Media Studies, but she gets some fascinating stories.

Like what?

Well, apparently there was a
patient here that had a doll, and she treated it as if it were a real baby.

Yes, that rings a bell...

Joy Aston. I don't know,
we usually make the names up.

But you'll never guess
how she came to be in here.

'It was the day before Halloween,
and this woman, Joan or Joy, was trying to sell her house.

'It'd been on the market for weeks,
but she was rubbish at cleaning and they couldn't shift it.'

If you come through to the kitchen
or morning room, if you prefer...

Well, I'm sorry about the mess.

My wife was supposed to have
tidied up before she went to work.

Women, eh!

But it's a very bright room.
We're south-west facing.

Oh, hello! Don't mind me.
Just pretend I'm not here.

I won't shake your hand
as I've been elbow deep in wombs since 6 o'clock this morning.

There's plenty of room here
to spread yourself around.

Can you look after
Freddy please, George, while I set up the breast pump.

I've got to express some milk,
I'm bursting.

So, how many children do you have?

Just the one.

Well, shall we have a peek upstairs?
I'll just shift some of this stuff.

One of these days, somebody's
going to break their neck.

Oh, dear, Freddy. Looks like
Daddy's cross with us again.

Now then, let's have a look and see
if we can't extract a few dribbles for your din-dins.

Here you go.

MACHINE PUMPING

Well, we've a few more to see so
we'll have a think and let you know.

OK. Well, fingers crossed then, eh!

Hope to hear from you soon.

Cheerio! Safe journey home. Bye!

Do I look like a pig, Joy? Sorry?

Do I look like a pig?

Well, sometimes when you've
just stepped out of a hot bath...

Why am I living in a pigsty? You've
got to keep on top of the cleaning!

A place for everything and
everything in its place!

Well, it's not that easy with
a toddler in the house, George.

Freddy messes up the place
as quick as I can tidy it.

48 viewings so far.

48 people have walked out
that door and never come back.

Don't make me 49.

Great, we'll see you
later then. Thanks. Bye.

Well, miracle of miracles.

That was the couple from yesterday.

They want to come back
for a second viewing.

Well, it's tidier than
it was yesterday anyway.

I went through the night,
George, just like you said.

A place for everything and
everything in its place.

Yes, you've done a good job, Joy.

I'm very pleased.

Right, I'll just clear
away these breakfast things then.

Just pop them in the recycling.

No! No! No! No! No! You've put
the shell in with the bread!

But they're both food, George.
No, they are not.

Bread goes in the green bin,
biodegradables.

Shell is like bones
and goes in the...?

Yellow? No, that's plastics!

Shell goes in black, general waste.

Oh, what's the red for again?

How many more times?

Paper and cardboard, magazines
and newspapers, milk and juice cartons, tetrapaks and pizza boxes.

Waxed paper, tissue paper,
foam trays, tin foil. Tea bags.

Not tea bags! They're biodegradable.

Blue. Green!

Reduce, re-use, recycle!

Can't you get that into your
thick skull, Joy? Can't you?

Can you not get this one simple
thing into your thick, thick skull?

I'm trying, George, I am!

Reduce, refuse... Not refuse...

Re-use. Reduce... duce...

Re-use... use... Recycle... cycle.

I'll be back later for the viewing

and you'd better have this place
spotless, Joy Aston, or so help me God...

'So she cleans the whole house,
top to bottom, and then sits down to play with her...baby.

'But then she notices
what day it was.'

Oh, it's Halloween today!

Oh, we should do a pumpkin.

You got to promise not
to make a mess though?

Now let's see,
it's 11 o'clock now...

Yes, we've got plenty of time!

And...out. And...bumph!

That's it.
We put the sharp knife in.

Cut it.

Slurp. ..Slop.

And slop.

Ooh. Quarter past 11. Right, I think
it's time you had a little nap

while Mummy has a quick tidy.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Come through. If you wouldn't mind
popping your shoes off for me. >

We have just tidied and cleaned. >

And this, you may remember, is
our spacious kitchen/morning room.

It's just not as big as we remembered
it. But thanks, anyway.

Yes, yes, cheerio.

Oh, George! You gave me
quite a fright there, George!

What, um...

what time are they coming to look at
the house? They've already been.

Oh!

And...?

Not interested.

Right.

Oh, well. Did you mention
the south-westerly aspect?

Well...

what's the point of mentioning
the aspect when they can't even see out the bloody window!

Why don't we go the whole hog and
just throw everything on the floor?!

That'd be easier for you,
wouldn't it? Much better system!

There has to be some mess, George!
This is a family home.

No, it's not.

Because do you know what, Joy?

There is no family.

Let's see how you manage
on your own.

George?

George!

Oh, what a mess you're making...

Now then, that's better, isn't it,
my little Freddy Fruitcake?

Everything's nice and tidy,
just the way that Daddy likes it.

Reduced...

re-used...

and recycled.

Happy Halloween.

Where did your researcher get that
story from? A friend of a friend?

I don't think she's got any friends.
Like I say, she is quite fa...

Why, do you think she made it up?

Joy Aston lost a child to cot death
then was institutionalised by her husband after a nervous breakdown.

Well, Dale did say he
wanted to do edgier stuff.

FAINT SCREAMS

Did you hear that?

Yes, I did.

Did you bring anybody
else with you tonight?

No. It's Kenchington's ghost!
She's come looking for that locket!

Don't joke about it.
It's not funny.

I'm going to film this in night
vision. It'll be just like DOGH. What?

Dale's Overnight Ghost Hunts.

Oh, God. Can't see a thing.

Just wait.

Your eyes have to adjust.

Only takes a minute. I can't imagine
Dale doing this, to be honest.

Stumbling round in the dark.
He might scuff his shoes.

We'll need him in a studio somewhere.
Like an anchorman we keep going back to.

Like Paul Ross you mean?
What? Nothing.

I've got a story for you.
A friend of a friend one.

It starts with a blind
man who's just had an operation to get a brand new pair of eyes.

He was a toy collector, name of
Oscar Lomax, and he just couldn't wait to see his latest acquisition.

Morning, Mr L.

How are your eyes this
morning, still itching?

Aye, I can't wait to get
these bloody bandages off.

I brought you some Roses. Ah.

Tealeaf.

Can I smell them?

Oh, your package came this morning,
the one you've been waiting for.

Open it up then, open it up!

What? Is there something wrong
with it? You could say that.

Do you know how offensive this is?

I know, I know, it's got an ink
stain on the collar, but you'd never find one in mint condition, Tealeaf.

It's a very rare commodity.

This is one of the only
five remaining original Robertson's Gollywogs.

It's priceless.

Where did you get it from? I had
to delve into the black market.

No pun intended.

And when you do that it's best
not to ask too many questions.

Some folk would do
anything for money.

Here, let me hold him.

You're going to come and stay
with me aren't you, Jamjar?

I can't wait to make you
part of the family.

You're worse than Madonna, you are.

Now do me a favour and put those
roses in some water, will you?

I've got a vase on the
side here somewhere.

Do you want a little tip, Jamjar?

Bicarbonate of soda
and half a teaspoon of vinegar.

Pearly white for life.

That's better.

Now then, let's get you to bed,
and tomorrow I'll take you home to my holy of holies.

Where are you? You've not
fallen down the toilet, have you?

Nurse? Oh, this is ridiculous.

Wait a minute.

Hang on.

Better just turn this light off.

Now then. Let's see what we can see.

Oh. There you are, Jamjar.

Ohh!

I can't believe you
took your bandages off. What did I tell you yesterday?

I'm fine, I'm fine, stop fussing,
you're like a nagging wife.

I'm not going to need you
for much longer, Tealeaf.

I've got my independence now.

Yeah well, we'll let the
doctor decide that. He can wait.

I've got business to attend to.

Come on then.
What's on the agenda for today?

You've had a request for an
estate valuation.

What is it?

Small collection of period and modern
soft toys. You want me to pass?

No, No, No, time to
get back on the horse.

You never know what you might find.

Arthur Negus once found a first
edition Mandy in a chiropodist's waiting room in Buxton.

Tell them I'll do it.

Cool. I'll go and find the
doctor and get you discharged.

Ask him yourself, he's standing
right there.

Where? There.

He's just been examining me.

There's no-one here, Mr Lomax.

Only me.
Your eyes are playing tricks on you.

Who are you?

What do you want?

No. No, the problem
here is that there's nothing left of the original stitching.

There's at least three different
types of cotton in her crotch.

It completely devalues the item.

It is very old.

Old and worthless, I'm afraid.

Fine for a family heirloom but
useless to a serious collector.

My husband thought there might
be one or two things of worth.

No. A bear with stitch-nose and cut
glass eyes, a ninth generation Andy

Pandy with indigo instead of the
original candy-blue stripe, and a

Happy Meal Pluto.

Car boot fodder, I'm afraid.

I'll offer you five pounds for
the lot, and that's only because I'm curious about your Bagpuss.

Doesn't seem much. She collected
these since she was a little girl.

I know. But she played with them.

And hugged them, and squeezed
all the worth out of them.

Now they're just husks.

May I?

Can I ask?

How did she die?

She died in her sleep.

Quite sudden, really, she was just in
her bedroom watching Eastenders

and by the time
I came up with her Bovril

she was just sat there. Slumped.

Did she by any chance
carry a donor card? Yes.

Her heart was no good,
but a kidney, they took.

And her liver.

Even her eyes.

Night night, Jamjar.

LOUD THUD

Is anybody there?

Who are you?

What do you want?

EASTENDERS THEME PLAYS ON TV

Murdered? Yes, I believe so.

I think I was given your mother's
eyes and I'm seeing what she saw just before she died.

She was watching
Eastenders, you say?

I think so, yes.

That makes sense.

I've done a drawing
of the man I think killed her.

It's not perfect, but...

Does that ring any bells?

Not really.

But why would anybody
want to kill her, she didn't do anything to anybody.

I only know what I saw.

She was killed, I'm telling you.

I think we should call the police.
All right,

I'd better just tell my husband.

Eddie! Ed!

'My husband thought there might
be one or two things of worth.

'I had to delve into
the black market.

'Best not to ask too many
questions.'

Hello there.

'Some folk
would do anything for money.'

Now, what's all this
nonsense about a murder?

Jamjar.

Oh, that is brilliant,
we've got to use that!

I know someone on 'Enders,
actually, wait till I tell them that. They'll piss. Can you see better now?

Uh, yeah.

What do you think
that noise was really?

I don't know.

When I was little, I could
hear screams coming from this place at night.

My mum used to tell me that
it was just the seagulls.

Seagulls go to bed though, don't
they? Yeah. But the mad don't.

No rest for the wicked.

Let's head out.

So what happened with Kenchington?

Did she let you go after
she got her locket back?

No. She took me on her
night round of the wards.

Oh, my God! Yeah.

She saved the best till last.

If I was scared before,
I was petrified now.

She led me down the corridor
introducing me to all the patients.

Then we came into the final cell.

Now then. I think you owe
this poor creature an apology.

Hello, David,
how are we this evening?

Can't sleep.

I'm not surprised.

This young man fired 400
volts into your brain. Sorry.

I can smell a wet mattress, David,

have you been having
bad dreams again?

Tell us about it.

I'm sure the child would love to hear
what's going on in your head, wouldn't you?

There you are, David,
you have an audience.

Now what's on your mind?

Well, in the dream,

me and my mum are on our way to
a party at Uncle Peter's house.

But there's a problem with the car.

And we get stranded in the woods.

Stupid bushes.

I hope you haven't weed
on them boots, David.

I don't think so. Good. I borrowed
them from Mr Hayward downstairs.

Apparently his son's a pinhead.

Skinhead. Didn't want to
wear this anyway. Babyish.

Yeah, well I'm sorry, David, it
would have been in bad taste to go as Fred West. It's too recent.

Well, why couldn't I go as Ed Gein?

No-one would have known who you were.

Yes, they would.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

A belt of lady's nipples and
a silver vagina on my face.

And where were you
going to get one of them?

Could have made one? Out of what?

Chamois leather. David, you are
not using my chamois as vaginas.

You look good anyway as Frankenstein.

Humph, Frankenstein is the
Doctor and I am the creature.

Yeah, and I'm your bride.

Look! There's a car coming.
Maybe we can get a lift.

Check them out first though.
They might be weirdos.

Everything all right?
We were on our way to a party.

Our car broke down. You
couldn't give us a lift, could you?

Of course. Jump in.

So I suppose you want dropping
off at the castle, do you?

No.

52 Birchwood Avenue.

I told David to join the
RAC, and he disappeared to Stratford for three months.

Yeah. I did A Winters Tale
with Simon Russell Beale.

He's a good theatre actor,
but he's too big for telly.

And Anthony Sher's the same.

So I take it you're going
to a fancy dress party?

Yes, David's uncle does them.
He has parties all year round.

Remember that Easter one
and we had to go as eggs?

Yeah. It was shit.

What's the matter with that lady?

Oh, that's my wife.

We've had rather a
long journey I'm afraid.

She gets quite car sick.

The best thing for her
is to sleep through it.

She looks pale.
Well, she's just taken two Valium.

Mum, pass me your mirror.

What for?
I don't think she's breathing.

I want to check. Look, David,
the nice man's offered us a lift. Don't be calling his wife dead.

I just want to see.

Please, I don't want her waking up.
I won't wake her.

She needs to rest.
I'll just take her pulse.

DON'T TOUCH HER!

Police reports today confirmed
the discovery of a fourth body on wasteland in North London.

Not another one. Shhhh!
The victim was badly mutilated and the attack bears all the

hallmarks of three other murders
that the newspapers are dubbing the work of the Stanmore Slasher.

Police are asking...

Rather morbid.

If he does one more he'll end
up on your wall, won't he? Maybe.

What's that? Oh, David's hobby.

He collects serial killers.

Don't collect them.

Study them. He's actually worked out
who Jack the Ripper is, but won't tell me, will you? It's confidential.

Most of them are rather
pathetic individuals, aren't they?

I disagree.

From what I've read they're
usually your average Joe Bloggs, just like you and I.

There's always signs.

You've just got to
know where to look.

But don't they always get careless,
give themselves away?

I mean, for example, if I
were going to dispose of a body

I wouldn't flush it down the
toilet with a portion of Kentucky Fried Chicken to disguise the smell.

Dennis Nilson, 15 victims 1982.

1983. '83.

Is that what he used, Kentucky?

Dirty pig.

David mixes in a couple drops of
my perfume if he's done a really stinky one, don't you, David? Yeah.

Tweed by Lentheric.

Makes it worse. Really sweet.

So, who's expecting
you at this party then?

Is it just family?
I don't know half of them myself.

Just various uncles. There's a whole
load coming in from Penzance dressed as The Addams Family,

though I'm not sure I'll be
able to tell the difference.

Are you all right, David?
You look a bit green? Yeah.

Can we stop the car?

I want to use that phone box. Why?

Do you need a wee? Tell
Uncle Peter we're going to be late.

No! I can't stop just yet.
Stop the car! Now!

Come on, Mum. You too.

I'm not getting out.
I'm settled here.

Mum!

The man drives away with
Mum still in the back of the car,

so I go and phone the police.

Hello, 999 Letsby Avenue?

Yeah, I think my mum's been taken

by the Stanmore Slasher.

Here, drink this.

It'll calm your nerves.

No,
I just want to go back and get David.

He doesn't like being on his own.

He has to leave the door open
when he's doing his number twos.

Can we not go back for him?

I'm afraid not.
Look. You must understand.

I was only thinking about my wife.

Where is your wife?
Is she still asleep?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello? Oh, hi, Mum.

Oh, we just got back,

I think.

I don't know, I was out cold.

Yes, it was fine.

I went as a bride of Dracula

and Adrian went as Dennis Nilson,

you know, the strangler.

He gave me the creeps.

Yes. Police, please.

So my David is the Stanmore
Slasher, you think? Well, I never.

Just goes to show,

you never really know who you've
got under your roof, do you?

You really should have let me go.

HE SCREAMS

Ahhh!

It's a full moon tonight.
She'll change again.

You've got to stop her.
Please. She'll change again.

All right, David. That's enough.

Your mother's not a monster.

You are. Come along.

No. No.

Now then...

..this is interesting.

Look in here.

What do you see?

It's empty. That's right.

That's because this one,
young man, this one, is for you.

Get him!

I'll find you! I'll find you!

You can't leave now,
you'll never leave.

SHE CACKLES

I want some closure on this.
I thought being involved in your programme might be able to help me.

We need to get some
celebrities wandering round here. I'm sure the Dingles would do it.

And I'd love to get Frank Bruno.
He'd tick a lot of boxes.

Anyway, I've taken up enough
of your time already. Thank you.

Do you need me to show you out?

No, no, I'm going to go and
get some shots round the front.

I've not even been round there yet.

OK. I'm going to grab my bag.

I don't want anyone
knowing we were here.

Except the ghosts!

OK. So I'm just going to walk
round the front of the building now.

What is that?

Is there a spirit in this room?

If there is a spirit,

good or evil,

commune with me.

Give me a sign.

EERIE KNOCKING

What are you doing
snooping round in my office?

Well, it's a simple question.

Who sent you?

Are you the spirit of
Edwina Kenchington?

Yes.

Well, I was.

Not any more.

Do you remember me?

Should I?

I met you.

Years ago.

When I was a boy.
Well, you can't be a former patient.

You can form sentences.

It was Halloween night.

I stole your locket.

Oh! I remember.

Why was it so important to you?

Why have you come back?
Unfinished business. Who sent you?

Andrews, or Stroheim?

My money's on Andrews.
I don't know those people.

Where is my locket? I don't know.

Don't lie to me, boy! You took it
before and you're back here again.

Who do you work for? Sainsbury's.

What are you doing here?

I came looking for you.

I just wanted to see a ghost.

Well, that can be arranged.

GUNSHOT

'I received an anonymous letter,

'explaining that
my mother had been murdered

'and a list of those responsible.

'I took it to be a confession
from someone who could no longer bear the guilt.

'David.

'He was always
the weakest link. Goodbye.

It wasn't David.

It was me. Mummy!

You won't believe what I've just
seen... Oh, my God, what happened?

Kenchington. She shot me.

She's not dead.

What? Come on, we'll get help.

MUMMY!

Look!

You idiot!

And this is all of it? Yes, Ma'am.

How many dead? Four dead, including
those two. And two more critical.

What a mess.

Please tell me we found it?

No, Ma'am. No sign.

Well, we can't proceed without it.
I know, Ma'am.

So deal with it, Kelvin.
We can't have any loose ends.

Yes, Ma'am.

Sorry, Ma'am, I just need
to get the file back. What?

Um. Can I get the file back, please?

I'm burning it!

That is our only copy, Ma'am.
We do definitely need it.

Oh, for fuck's...

Will you look after something
for me? We are very close to making our presentation.

I think our lives might be
in danger.

Hello. Hoytie Toyties.
This is it, Kelvin. Wish me luck.

No loose ends. Remember, Kelvin.

Kelvin. I need that locket!

Nothing's ever
straightforward, is it?

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