All language subtitles for The Guest Book S02E04 Killer Party 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track3_[eng]

[ Seagulls cawing ]

♪♪

[ Sniffs ]

♪♪

Whatcha doing?

Just putting up
some more flyers.

The ones I put up
the other day disappeared.

So, you gonna hang around
for a while, or...?

I would, but I got to put up
all these flyers around town.

Hey, could somebody
shut the door?

I think we got a draft
in here.

[ Chuckles ]

Hi.

I'm here to pick up the key
to Bare Feet Retreat.

I don't know
if you remember me, but --

Oh, I remember you.

Shit.Boy, do I remember you.

Yeah, last time
you rented the house,

I had to re-hang
all the pictures.

I'm still getting sand
out of the knickknacks,

and half the spoons
were gone.

It's not easy finding
matching spoons, okay?

And in fact,
they won't truly match

until the new ones lose their
shine and muster up a patina.

No parties this time,
I hope.

No parties. I promise.

All right, well,
I'll see you later.

There was a-a bug.

♪♪

Tim: I want to assure you that
I won't be having any parties,

but I do owe you an explanation
about something.

It's a long story,
and it all started last year

on my birthday.

Hey, there's my Walt.

Tell me those
are my new shoes.

♪♪

Hi.

Uh, we're here to pick up
the keys to Bare Feet Retreat.

Oh, yeah. Uh, you're gonna have
to look for my boyfriend.

He's --

You're diarrhea.

Ha! See?

I told you that commercial
would get you chicks.

We're both actors. I mainly do
corporate training videos,

but if you worked
for Kaiser Permanente,

you would be losing
your shit right now.

She doesn't care about --She does.

We just need the keys.

Okay, well, um, he's just
in the back,

cleaning spaghetti
off the marlin.

[ Chuckles ] We had a 2-year-old
in here earlier

that was acting
like a real prick.

I'm here
about the beach house.

Yeah, can you
give me a sec?

I just have to get these noodles
off before they crust up.

[ Cellphone rings, beeps ]

Hello?

Uh, sorry to bother you,
Mr. Davis,

but I have a DJ Maureen here

looking to set up
some party or whatnot.

And between you and me,
she's got a half a tattoo,

and I wouldn't mind
seeing the other half.

Shit.

Look, I told her the party
was at the beach.

The address is 246 Sandyland Way
in Mabel Beach.

And it's a surprise, so tell her
not to show up until 9:00.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

You guys
having a party?

Uh, just a little one.

Is -- is that a problem?Not for me,

but you probably don't want
my boyfriend to find out.

It's his mom's house.

Uh, you know, you can come
if you want, actually.

It's -- It's diarrhea's
birthday.

Oh, I don't know.

I'd have to sneak out.

But I did just get
these new shoes.

No, you know what?

It's Friday, and Tommy
was looking forward

to pot roast pajama night.

[ Sighs ]

Are you sure?

Those shoes look like they
deserve to stay up past 8:30.

[ Laughing ] 8:30?

We're not that lame.

We don't go to bed till
after "Blue Bloods."

So, I don't know what you guys
have up your sleeve

as far as activities,

but there's a whole shelf
full of games.

For two players,
may I recommend Farkle?

It's like Yahtzee
on steroids.

Thanks. See you later.

You know, I was thinking
about spicing things up tonight,

throwing a square of dark
chocolate into the pot roast.

Think I saw it
on "The Chew."

Oh.

♪♪

This actually looks
kind of fun.

Maybe after we order dinner,
we can --

Eat this birthday cookie.

What kind of coo--Nom, nom, nom.

There's weed in this,
isn't there?

Quite a bit.

Thanks. I think.

You know I haven't gotten high
since the breakup?

It reminds me
of Jennifer --

Yeah, I know, all right?

But you can't not ever
get high again

just because drugs remind you
of your ex-girlfriend.

It's not healthy, man.

[ Knock on door ]

Who's that?

I think it's my Uncle Bill.

Looks like the old man
from "Up."

In order for you to understand

why seeing my Uncle Bill
outside your beach house

was so strange,

you need to know
a few things about him.

Bill grew up in West Virginia,
and at 15,

he started working
in the coal mines with his dad.

He met his wife, Lorraine,
when he was 22.

They couldn't have children,
so for the next 50 years,

they spent their time
going to church,

laying in the backyard
looking at clouds,

playing cards with friends,
and just being in love.

It was a simple life.

♪♪

A few years ago, I got the news

that Lorraine died
of a heart attack.

If my parents were still alive,
I might've gone to the funeral,

but without somebody pressuring
me to go, I didn't.

It was selfish,
especially because

even though I hadn't seen Bill
since I was 5,

he never forgot my birthday.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

What are you doing here?

Well, I went
to your apartment,

and the man in charge
of the lobby said you was here.

Hi. I'm Bill.

Joe.

I reckoned this year I'd deliver
your card by hand.

Could I use your washroom?

I tried to use the one
on the bus,

but I couldn't hold my breath
that long.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Sighs ]

Well, you better hurry up.
Pop into your PJs.

Yeah, actually,
my sister just texted.

I have to babysit now.

That's a little last-minute.

Yeah, she matched
with someone on Tinder.

Okay.
Well, um,

I could put the roast back
in the pot, let it simmer,

keep my hunger at bay
with a handful of raisins.

No, you know,
it's fine.

Um, she sounds like
she's in a slutty mood,

so I could be stuck there
all night.

Well, I guess I could tape
"Blue Bloods."

Although
it's a new one tonight,

and I got a Shriners meeting
in the morning.

There's no way Glen doesn't
let a spoiler slip out.

Maybe I could watch it

and then you and I could
watch it together later?

Sounds great.
[ Chuckles ]

You seem to enjoy watching
the repeats

more than
the originals anyways.

Yeah, well, I'm a lot less
stressed the second go-around,

that's for sure.

You got to
get rid of him.

I'm throwing you a party.

DJ Maureen is coming.

Seriously?

We haven't hung out with her
since the last time we took...

That's a lot of ecstasy.

[ Coughing ]

You know,
I was thinking, uh,

maybe us two could
go fishing again.

You remember the last time
we went fishing?

You couldn't have been
more than 5.

A big, old catfish got ahold
of your line

and yanked you
right out of the boat.

Yeah, I started crying,
and if I remember correctly,

you started laughing.

[ Chuckles ] I had to.

Oh, you was terrified.

I needed to let you know that
everything's gonna be okay,

and it worked.

You caught
the sillies from me,

and then you started
laughing yourself.

That's true. I did.

[ Ecstasy rattles ]

You must be tired.

How about I help you
find a hotel nearby?

I'm dying.

[ Crickets chirping ]

-Okay.
-I've got pneumoconiosis.

It's commonly known
as Black Lung.

My lungs are black.

[ Knock on door ]

Police! We're here to take
all your drugs!

[ Laughs ]

Happy birthday![ Cheering ]

Oh, shit, you brought
the doorman, you crazy bitch.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

You'uns fixing
to have a party?

Yeah, but it's not the kind
of party you would...

My friend, he, uh...

I don't do drugs, but some of
the people who are coming, uh --

If there's gonna
be drugs at your party,

I'd like to stay.

Excuse me?

I would be willing to try
some of them drugs.

I don't --
What?

Tim, I lived the way I thought
I was supposed to for 90 years,

and there were a whole lot of
rewards along the way

for doing so.

Met a great woman.

And since I was
faithful to her,

she never left my side.

I ain't never
touched alcohol.

And because of that,

I ain't never done nothing
that I've regretted.

But lately,
I've been asking myself

if I lived
too safe a life.

What I'm saying is that I want
to see what life is like

when I don't play
by the rules.

My only fear is that,
if I like it,

I'm gonna kick myself for
waiting 90 years to start.

[ Cheering ]

All right, everybody.

Here we go.

On you mark...

get set...

go!

♪♪

[ Cheering ]

I don't feel nothing yet.

Yeah, it's gonna take
about 45 minutes to kick in.

Okay, but if I fall asleep
before then,

be sure to wake me.

Ecstasy can affect people
in different ways.

Some people get creative

and start to look at the world
in a different way.

♪♪

Some people dance.

♪♪

Some people like to touch
and be touched.

♪♪

Me? I tend to
get introspective.

I'm thinking
about quitting acting.

Why?
You're so famous.

For being the face
of diarrhea.

Ah.

I just don't want to end up
like our doorman.

He used to be an actor,
and the rumor is

that he ended up
doing porn.

No.

[ Inhales deeply ]

I feel real good.

You guys feel real good?

[ Chuckles ] Amazing.

We feel great.

[ Sighs ]

[ Fuzz scratching ]

[ Sighs ] I can't believe
I was gonna eat pot roast

and watch "Blue Bloods"
with my boyfriend tonight.

[ Chuckles ]Where'd you guys meet?

Mm. We dropped out
of law school together.

He's really, really, really,
really, really, really, really,

really, really, really, really,
really, really, really, really,

really nice.

He sounds nice.

Yeah.

This is the first time
I've done euphoria.

Me, too.

Remember we talked about that
in the kitchen?

It's called
ecstasy, Bill.

What is?

-Ah.
-The drug. It's called ecstasy.

What did I say?

[ Laughing ] I don't know.
Something else.

[ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ] I just wish Tommy
wouldn't act like

we're already
an old married couple.

Last weekend, we put together a
puzzle I bought at a yard sale.

I like puzzles.

[ Chuckles ] Me, too.

That's why I bought one
at a yard sale.

[ Sighs ]

Your feet are beautiful.

I know. [ Giggles ]

You want to touch them?

It'd be okay?
I think so.

Yeah, it's okay.

Maybe I should be a puzzle maker
instead of an actor.

♪♪

You'd be good at that.

You know what?
I like the corner pieces.

You should make
more corner pieces.

I feel great.

Do you guys feel great?

[ Chuckles ] Amazing.

This is the first time
I've tried euphoria.

The rest of the night
is a bit of a blur,

but I do remember bits
and pieces.

♪♪

Some girl tripped and put her
head through one of your walls,

which she thought
was hysterical.

[ Laughs ]

That led us to finding the
coolest handyman on Craigslist,

who fixed it up like new.

So Joe gave him a nice tip.

♪♪

What was that?

I vaguely remember a robot
that played records.

I also remember my commercial
coming on TV.

Hey.
Look, look, look.

Look at the TV.
Look at the TV.

That's him.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

[ Laughter continues ]

At one point, DJ Maureen
decided she was a pirate

and thought she should bury

a bunch of treasure
on the beach.

♪♪

[ Imitates explosion ]

And our doorman showed us a
trick he can do with spoons.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Cheering ]

♪ On top of the world

All in all,
it was a hell of a night,

but eventually the sun came up
and the party had to end.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Farts ]

[ Dance music playing,
skipping ]

[ Snores ]

Ugh! [Strained] Uh, you stepped
on my dick and balls.

I'm sorry. I can't --
I can't find my shoes.

[ Groans ]

[ Seagulls cawing ]

Tim: Hey, Bill,
you haven't seen

a pair of blue shoes
out here, have ya?

I think that tattooed lady who
was hogging the record player

might've buried them.

Oh, sh--
she does that.

Good luck.

That was
a pretty crazy night, huh?

It was.
It was something.

[ Chuckles ]

I threw them spoons
in the ocean.

After what
they've been through,

I didn't like the idea
that some young'n

would be slurping up
his Frosted Flakes with them.

That's good thinking.

How do you feel?

Not as good as I did last night,
that's for sure.

Yeah, it kind of uses up
all your happy for a while.

Can't have ecstasy
without a little agony.

Uh, it depends on what
you consider ecstasy.

Sitting in an easy chair
after a long day's work,

taking a walk in the woods
on a sunny day,

being in love --

to me,
that's what ecstasy is.

Of course, it don't pack the
punch that your ecstasy did,

but mine lasted 90 years and,
uh, didn't make me feel like

a hollowed-out old tree trunk
in the morning.

So, do you finally have
your regret, then?

I do, but it's not so much
about the drugs

as about touching
that young lady's feet

for as long as I done.

I don't think my wife
would've approved.

Sorry I made you
feel bad.

There were a lot of things I did
last night that I regret.

It's okay, sweetie.
I don't mind a little guilt.

It's just your brain
reminding you

that you're
a good person.

If you wasn't a good person,
you wouldn't feel guilty.

Tim: Well, I must be
a really good person,

because I've had
a lot of crazy nights

where I felt really guilty.

[ Laughs, coughs ]

Look, Tim,
I'm not gonna tell you

how to live your life,

but when it comes to drugs
and sex, try to make decisions

on how you're gonna feel about
it afterward, not during,

because the after lasts a whole
lot longer than the during.

That actually makes
a lot of sense.

And I sure hope you weren't
serious about quitting acting.

There's a whole mess of people
in West Virginia

would be fit to be tied
if you did.

What are you
talking about?

Everybody at church knows
you're my nephew,

and all I talk about
is seeing you on TV.

I mean,
you got a lot of fans.

Oh, great. I'm the Tom Hanks
of liquefied crap.

Nobody ever said nothing about
that tummy-ache commercial.

The most I hear is
when you was that DMV clerk

on that terrible show
about the redneck

with the mustache
and the grocery list.

"My Name is Earl"?That sounds right.

And, uh, the one where you
was that crying guy

in the court show.

"Judge Judy"?
No, that was real.

My roommate stole my ferret.

Well, you sure took your loss
like a champ.

You are a good actor.

♪♪

Yeah, I'm not gonna quit.

I-I think I just said that

'cause I wanted someone
to talk me out of it.

[ Chuckles ]

Thanks.

You're welcome.

And if you don't want people
recognize you

from that commercial,
grow a beard.

Diarrhea ain't got
no beard.

[ Blows ]

The next few months, we helped
Bill try a lot of new things,

including raw fish
and roller coasters.

But as the end grew near,
he wanted

to be back in West Virginia
doing old things...

Five of a kind.

Five?
That's impossible...

That's impossible....but I have it.

I just have a straight flush.
You got me.

...until it was time
for the fun to end,

and, not knowing what was
coming next, Bill was scared.

But this time,
it was up to me

to let him know he was going
to be okay.

[ Laughing ]

[ Chuckles ]

And it worked.
He caught the sillies from me

and started laughing.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Laughs ]

Bill wanted his ashes spread
alongside Lorraine's

in the backyard, where they
used to look at clouds.

Well, most of his ashes.

He asked me to dump a small
part of him

in the ocean
with your spoons.

He didn't like the idea of
Lorraine's ashes

next to the part of him that
rubbed another woman's feet.

The problem is, on my way
into your living room,

Uncle Bill and I
took a little tumble.

So when you see that I had to
replace your rug,

you'll know why.

That's the explanation
I thought I owed you.

Your pal, Tim.

♪♪

♪ If I stood in that tunnel
with a white light at the end ♪

♪ Heard a blonde was asking

♪ "Honey, would you do it all
the same way again?" ♪

♪ If you had the chance,
would you switch? ♪

♪ Tighten every seam up,
stitch by stitch? ♪

♪ Yeah, I'd change a couple
things, that'd be my wish ♪

♪♪

♪ Make love more,
drink a little less ♪

♪ Only do the good drugs

♪ Take it as it comes
like a door wide open ♪

♪ Never sweep it
underneath the rug ♪

♪ Wouldn't have swung
at every pitch ♪

♪ Wouldn't have been so sad
when I missed ♪

♪ Yeah, I'd change
a couple things... ♪

Guys, you got to
pay attention.

You're -- You're
dropping everything.

How come Aunt Debbie gets to
stay on the beach?

Because Aunt Debbie
married well.

Lisa: Shh!

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Let me change a couple thing,
let me get my wish ♪

♪ Can I change a couple things,
will I get my wish? ♪

♪♪