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1
00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:07,181
[Carrie] It is our differences
that make us special.
2
00:00:07,264 --> 00:00:13,276
So, to conclude,
you are your greatest asset.
3
00:00:14,237 --> 00:00:16,659
You are you.
4
00:00:22,461 --> 00:00:26,469
That's the best speech
by a returning alumni I've ever heard.
5
00:00:27,973 --> 00:00:29,183
[chuckles]
6
00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:33,066
[audience cheering]
7
00:00:39,161 --> 00:00:40,163
Hey.
8
00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:46,175
That well-structured
but emotionally resonant piece of oratory
9
00:00:46,259 --> 00:00:48,013
made me remember how sexy you are.
10
00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:50,810
- [Carrie gasps]
- [audience chanting] Carrie! Carrie!
11
00:00:50,893 --> 00:00:55,485
Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! Carrie!
12
00:00:55,570 --> 00:01:00,454
Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! Carrie!
13
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:04,588
- Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! Carrie!
- Carrie!
14
00:01:04,671 --> 00:01:05,923
Carrie?
15
00:01:06,007 --> 00:01:07,719
- Carrie?
- [school bell rings]
16
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:10,098
I said, do you remember it
being this small?
17
00:01:10,182 --> 00:01:12,061
I swear it was bigger when we were here.
18
00:01:12,144 --> 00:01:13,731
Maybe we've just grown up.
19
00:01:14,357 --> 00:01:15,359
[Jen] Oh.
20
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:16,654
- Crazy.
- Crazy.
21
00:01:16,737 --> 00:01:17,781
Jinx!
22
00:01:17,864 --> 00:01:19,826
- Ow!
- Dead arm! No taksies backsies!
23
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:21,664
♪ Don't fall in love with me yet ♪
24
00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,501
♪ We only recently met ♪
25
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,003
♪ True, I'm in love with you ♪
26
00:01:25,087 --> 00:01:27,007
♪ But you might decide I'm a nut ♪
27
00:01:27,091 --> 00:01:28,343
♪ Give me a week or two ♪
28
00:01:28,426 --> 00:01:30,932
♪ To go absolutely cuckoo ♪
29
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,811
♪ Then when you see your error ♪
30
00:01:32,894 --> 00:01:34,438
♪ Then you can flee the cuckoo ♪
31
00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:35,942
[microphone feedback]
32
00:01:36,025 --> 00:01:39,866
[audience murmuring]
33
00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:42,037
[clears throat]
34
00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:43,206
[microphone feedback]
35
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,922
[whispering] Attention, everybody.
36
00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:48,759
Thank you.
37
00:01:49,678 --> 00:01:54,478
Now, we will be kicking off at 7.45
with the head-girl speech.
38
00:01:54,563 --> 00:01:58,278
Then, subject awards, attendance awards,
39
00:01:58,361 --> 00:02:02,704
and finally, our closing keynote alumni.
40
00:02:02,787 --> 00:02:04,081
[chuckles]
41
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:08,047
Now, while I have you all here,
may I remind all parents that--
42
00:02:08,131 --> 00:02:10,385
[shouting] Michael! [groaning]
43
00:02:11,179 --> 00:02:15,103
[whispering] Powers are not permitted
on school premises.
44
00:02:15,187 --> 00:02:17,525
Get down.
45
00:02:20,197 --> 00:02:21,992
- Wanker.
- [head teacher, shouting] I heard--
46
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,411
[groans]
47
00:02:24,748 --> 00:02:26,083
[whispering] I heard that.
48
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,429
[Andy chuckles]
49
00:02:32,514 --> 00:02:35,686
So, I'm getting the outstanding
achievement award,
50
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:38,107
and Carrie's doing the alumni speech.
51
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,443
What are you doing, Jen?
52
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:40,530
I'm doing your dad.
53
00:02:40,613 --> 00:02:42,282
- Mary, I swear, I--
- Ian, I know.
54
00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:46,332
Jen has the very important job
this evening of supporting her family.
55
00:02:46,415 --> 00:02:48,796
- Do we trust Jen with important jobs?
- [Jen] Well, your dad does.
56
00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,675
Because I'm giving him blow jobs.
I'm blowing him.
57
00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,219
- [Ian] Mary, I didn't touch--
- Shut up.
58
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,558
Jesus, there's Susan.
Shut up about blowing each other.
59
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,562
- Who's Susan?
- Mum's trying to get in Susan's clique.
60
00:02:56,645 --> 00:02:58,774
- I told her you can read minds.
- What?
61
00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:00,778
I told her you can read minds.
62
00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,615
Susan, hello! [chuckles]
63
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:04,911
How do you stay so young-looking?
64
00:03:04,995 --> 00:03:07,584
We'll be mistaking you
for one of the students next.
65
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:10,255
But you know, one of the sexy ones.
66
00:03:10,338 --> 00:03:12,134
[crowd chattering]
67
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:16,142
[Susan, Mary laughs]
68
00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:20,066
Andy, congratulations again.
Greenwich Conservatoire?
69
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,778
- [scoffs] Incredible.
- Yes.
70
00:03:21,862 --> 00:03:24,366
And this must be Jen.
71
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:27,790
[chattering continues]
72
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,128
[exhales sharply]
73
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:34,554
Oh. [laughing]
74
00:03:34,638 --> 00:03:35,806
[exhales]
75
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:37,518
Yeah, good one. [chuckles]
76
00:03:37,602 --> 00:03:38,646
What do you mean?
77
00:03:39,229 --> 00:03:41,610
[stammers] Good one. [chuckles]
78
00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:42,654
Yeah, very funny.
79
00:03:43,237 --> 00:03:44,949
You think it's funny that I was asking
80
00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:47,287
if you knew that Mrs Henderson
had passed away?
81
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:53,884
I…
82
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:58,351
Oh, I can see Flo waving at me.
I better… [chuckles]
83
00:03:59,269 --> 00:04:02,527
- Why did you tell her I could read minds?
- I thought it sounded impressive.
84
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,490
It's better than explaining
your whole situation.
85
00:04:05,574 --> 00:04:09,039
Jen, look. I know you're riddled
with fear and anxiety.
86
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:10,918
Feelings of shame around
your changing body.
87
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,379
- That's not what I'm feeling.
- [Ian] Sorry.
88
00:04:12,462 --> 00:04:16,345
It's hard to differentiate in groups.
Especially teenagers. [chuckles]
89
00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:17,682
[groans]
90
00:04:17,765 --> 00:04:19,561
No, no, no. That's not normal.
91
00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:23,276
Someone is bursting
at the emotional seams in here.
92
00:04:23,986 --> 00:04:25,990
I'm trained in mental-health first aid.
93
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:29,748
- I must find them.
- What are you doing?
94
00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:34,465
If I lose one sense,
the others get sharper.
95
00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:36,762
- I feel you.
- ["How Did This Happen" playing]
96
00:04:36,845 --> 00:04:39,559
♪ It's new world nowDon't discriminate ♪
97
00:04:39,642 --> 00:04:42,732
♪ Everyone is equallyA master and a slave ♪
98
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,611
♪ It's new world nowDon't discriminate… ♪
99
00:04:44,694 --> 00:04:49,161
"Every day, I get to meet people
from all walks of life. From kids…"
100
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:50,246
[song ends]
101
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:53,921
What would make this evening go
from unbearable to just about bearable?
102
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:56,802
Humility and the support of good friends.
103
00:04:56,885 --> 00:04:58,806
Close. Getting shit-faced.
104
00:04:59,891 --> 00:05:02,145
Where are you gonna find drinks
in a school?
105
00:05:02,229 --> 00:05:03,941
- Right where we left them.
- [gasps]
106
00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:06,237
The stash.
107
00:05:07,949 --> 00:05:08,951
The stash.
108
00:05:11,122 --> 00:05:12,583
♪ Do you want me to ♪
109
00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,548
♪ Do you need me to ♪
110
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:18,136
♪ Do you choose me to ♪
111
00:05:19,054 --> 00:05:20,599
♪ Break the rules with you ♪
112
00:05:21,518 --> 00:05:24,398
Really think no one's found it
after all these years?
113
00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:28,322
Where do you put something you don't
want disturbed in a Catholic school?
114
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,584
[song ends]
115
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,713
[chuckles]
116
00:05:37,132 --> 00:05:38,635
Thank you, Jesus.
117
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:50,200
[grunts, groans]
118
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,285
Jesus.
119
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,499
I don't know.
I-I should stay sharp for my speech.
120
00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:55,836
And it's a weeknight.
121
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:56,922
Oh, come on.
122
00:05:57,005 --> 00:05:59,761
It's just sad
if I make poor decisions by myself.
123
00:05:59,844 --> 00:06:01,180
For me?
124
00:06:03,977 --> 00:06:04,938
Ah, class. Fags.
125
00:06:06,524 --> 00:06:07,526
[teacher] Hello?
126
00:06:08,654 --> 00:06:11,408
We're closing up this corridor.
Is anyone there?
127
00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:14,999
[keys jingling]
128
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,043
[whimpers]
129
00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:19,968
- I think it's Rebecca Baxter.
- Rebecca Baxter?
130
00:06:20,051 --> 00:06:23,266
Rebecca "personally gave half
of our year eating disorders" Baxter?
131
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:24,727
All the spit just left my mouth.
132
00:06:24,811 --> 00:06:26,397
I always thought
when I'd run into an old bully,
133
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,486
I'd be able to rub something
in their face, but I've got nothing.
134
00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:31,323
[whines] What if she makes me cry?
135
00:06:31,407 --> 00:06:34,580
Never let a predator smell your fear.
Come on, quick. Make yourself big.
136
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:40,258
Carrie Jackson? Jennifer Regan?
137
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,137
Oh, my God.
138
00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:46,730
It has been so long. [chuckles]
139
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:50,738
How have you guys been? You look so good.
140
00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:52,282
- Why are you here?
- [Rebecca laughs]
141
00:06:52,365 --> 00:06:53,785
I work here. I'm a teacher.
142
00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:56,791
Why? Oh, do they let you hit the kids now?
143
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,589
[laughs] You were always so funny, Jen.
144
00:06:59,672 --> 00:07:00,758
[laughs]
145
00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:02,385
So, what have you guys been up to?
146
00:07:02,469 --> 00:07:04,347
Oh, God. Duh. What did you get?
147
00:07:04,431 --> 00:07:05,517
Conduit for the dead.
148
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,815
Spooky. Kinda similar actually.
I can revisit memories.
149
00:07:09,609 --> 00:07:11,988
What about you, Jen?
I bet it's something really cool.
150
00:07:12,072 --> 00:07:14,367
What is your deal? Hmm?
Why are you being so nice?
151
00:07:14,451 --> 00:07:16,455
Did you become some
weird kind of Christian,
152
00:07:16,539 --> 00:07:18,084
or-- or are you dying? What is it?
153
00:07:19,002 --> 00:07:20,004
[sighs]
154
00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:25,849
Honestly, when I got my power,
I would go back and watch myself, and…
155
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:28,563
Oh, boy. Yeah.
156
00:07:28,647 --> 00:07:32,195
So, it turns out, being able to replay
all the terrible things you've ever done
157
00:07:32,278 --> 00:07:34,282
makes you rethink some stuff.
158
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,413
- So I'm nice now. [laughs]
- Prove it.
159
00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:40,169
Well, it's, like,
more of a general state of being.
160
00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:42,842
- I don't know how to--
- Money. You could give us money.
161
00:07:42,925 --> 00:07:44,679
Um, yeah, all right.
162
00:07:44,762 --> 00:07:45,806
[coins jingling]
163
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,981
- I've actually only got a 20.
- Yeah. That'll do. Yeah. Yep.
164
00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:51,066
Thank you.
165
00:07:51,943 --> 00:07:54,699
Carrie, are you okay?
You seem a bit tense.
166
00:07:54,782 --> 00:07:57,245
I-I've got some camomile tea
in the staff room.
167
00:07:57,328 --> 00:07:59,667
- Let me make you a cup?
- Okay.
168
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,005
Great, great. It-It's just down the hall.
169
00:08:06,806 --> 00:08:07,808
[mouthing words]
170
00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,394
[mouthing words]
171
00:08:10,814 --> 00:08:11,858
[door closes]
172
00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:17,076
[screams, grunts]
173
00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:25,343
[song playing softly on radio]
174
00:08:25,426 --> 00:08:27,013
[Jizzlord] You gonna be much longer?
175
00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:31,981
I don't know. How long does it take
to wash off the stain of cowardice?
176
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:34,236
Have you tried scrubbing it?
177
00:08:34,319 --> 00:08:35,321
Leave me alone.
178
00:08:35,404 --> 00:08:37,158
I'd quite like my bed back.
179
00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:38,703
I'll get out when I'm ready.
180
00:08:40,832 --> 00:08:42,085
When will that be?
181
00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:45,801
When I no longer feel
the cruel sting of sadness.
182
00:08:47,930 --> 00:08:50,101
So, like, five minutes?
183
00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:02,793
♪ Looking for my placeOn assembly lines… ♪
184
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,880
[coughing]
185
00:09:05,841 --> 00:09:07,343
Jesus. [coughs]
186
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:09,807
♪ Smoke rings blowFrom across the disco ♪
187
00:09:10,474 --> 00:09:12,688
[student]
Why is your mum sending me outfit options
188
00:09:12,771 --> 00:09:14,399
for the family Christmas card?
189
00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:15,777
She still thinks we're together.
190
00:09:15,861 --> 00:09:18,365
I haven't even told her about not getting
into the Conservatoire yet.
191
00:09:18,449 --> 00:09:20,579
I can't tell her
that we've broken up as well.
192
00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:22,708
- [student] Well, it's not my problem.
- I know!
193
00:09:22,791 --> 00:09:23,960
[shattering]
194
00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:25,589
[water gushing]
195
00:09:26,256 --> 00:09:28,260
[student] Sort yourself out.
196
00:09:29,095 --> 00:09:31,976
[chattering in distance]
197
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:38,657
[Andy] Fuck!
198
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,798
- What are you doing in here?
- I was having a really quiet pooh.
199
00:09:46,881 --> 00:09:49,010
- What did you hear?
- You didn't get into the Conservatoire.
200
00:09:49,094 --> 00:09:51,683
- You've been lying to everyone.
- I haven't.
201
00:09:51,766 --> 00:09:54,104
Oh! You bashed up your violin, didn't you?
202
00:09:54,187 --> 00:09:57,945
I knew this power would come back to
bite you in your freakishly strong arse.
203
00:10:01,118 --> 00:10:02,453
Are you okay?
204
00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:04,332
[mockingly] "Are you okay?"
205
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,044
Yeah, I'm okay.
206
00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:08,090
At least I have something
in my life to ruin.
207
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:09,719
What is the worst-case scenario for you?
208
00:10:09,802 --> 00:10:11,471
The funeral home stops selling
your foundation?
209
00:10:11,556 --> 00:10:14,937
Why did your girlfriend dump you, anyway?
Did you break her fanny?
210
00:10:17,108 --> 00:10:19,655
- Did you break her fanny?
- It was a hairline pelvic fracture.
211
00:10:19,739 --> 00:10:22,452
Oh, my God! You finger-blasted
your girlfriend into the hospital.
212
00:10:22,536 --> 00:10:25,458
- This is the best day of my life. [laughs]
- You are such a fucking child.
213
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,921
- I'm gonna tell Mum.
- Don't tell Mum. Please.
214
00:10:30,092 --> 00:10:31,679
I'll do whatever you want.
215
00:10:32,890 --> 00:10:35,478
- Whatever I want.
- Well, not sex stuff. Ew.
216
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,983
- Oh, my God.
- I didn't say sex stuff. Gross.
217
00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,154
- It came out in a really nonce-y tone.
- I'll tell you what.
218
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:41,741
Never call me a nonce again.
That's a start.
219
00:10:42,951 --> 00:10:44,245
- Hello.
- [gasps]
220
00:10:44,329 --> 00:10:46,374
- Me again.
- Why didn't I lock the door?
221
00:10:47,628 --> 00:10:48,671
I'm gonna cheer you up.
222
00:10:49,297 --> 00:10:50,424
What are you hiding?
223
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:52,554
[Jizzlord] The brush.
224
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,642
Put it down.
225
00:10:54,725 --> 00:10:57,606
One of the few things I remember
from the cat times:
226
00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,985
Getting the brush, pure bliss.
227
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:01,989
- Don't brush me!
- Relax.
228
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:04,995
The brush is very powerful.
229
00:11:05,079 --> 00:11:06,916
No, I said don't-- d-don't brush me!
230
00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,011
Oh.
231
00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:16,059
- It's actually quite nice.
- Shh.
232
00:11:16,686 --> 00:11:19,775
No thoughts. Just brush. Who's a good boy?
233
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:24,827
- Me.
- And good boys get the brush.
234
00:11:26,956 --> 00:11:28,417
[Kash] Mmm.
235
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,503
What the fuck! Stop.
236
00:11:29,587 --> 00:11:31,298
- You don't like the brush?
- No, it's fucking weird.
237
00:11:31,381 --> 00:11:32,926
- Then what makes you happy?
- I don't know!
238
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:35,347
Everyone always yells at me
for not knowing stuff,
239
00:11:35,431 --> 00:11:37,435
but how am I supposed to know
if people won't tell me?
240
00:11:37,519 --> 00:11:38,605
Penguins.
241
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,779
I like videos of penguins falling over.
242
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,744
It's what makes me happy.
243
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,921
You will do anything I say,
or I'm telling.
244
00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:52,173
[Mary laughing]
245
00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:57,935
Girls, Susan has this great story
about Tesco.
246
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,147
[laughing] It's-- It's mad.
247
00:12:00,649 --> 00:12:01,651
Go on.
248
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:06,159
I thought something was full price,
and when I got to the till it was reduced.
249
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:08,246
[laughing]
250
00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:18,935
[laughing continues]
251
00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:21,481
Oh, Jesus!
252
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,989
It's like Richard Pryor never died.
253
00:12:25,824 --> 00:12:29,038
- Where did you two go to?
- Just doing some sisterly bonding.
254
00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:30,917
I'm so glad that you're here, Susan.
255
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,965
You know, Andy was just about
to do the family dance.
256
00:12:34,048 --> 00:12:37,346
Oh, it's been years since you've done
the family dance.
257
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:39,977
- I'm not doing the family dance.
- Oh, I wanna see the family dance.
258
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,062
What's the family dance?
259
00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:43,901
It's a dance that Andy made up
260
00:12:43,985 --> 00:12:46,991
when she was taking
break-dancing lessons in primary.
261
00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:49,495
- You said you were too old for it.
- I am.
262
00:12:53,588 --> 00:12:55,592
You're never too old
for the magic of dance.
263
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,428
[Mary] Oh!
264
00:13:03,691 --> 00:13:04,693
[Andy clears throat]
265
00:13:07,281 --> 00:13:08,993
[Mary laughs]
266
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,339
[laughs]
267
00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:20,767
- [students laugh]
- [Jen laughs]
268
00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:24,315
[student gasps]
269
00:13:27,697 --> 00:13:30,787
Okay, that's--
that's enough of that. Okay.
270
00:13:43,646 --> 00:13:45,148
Are you cold?
271
00:13:45,232 --> 00:13:46,234
No.
272
00:13:46,317 --> 00:13:48,363
Well, it's a bit chilly, but I'm fine.
273
00:13:48,446 --> 00:13:50,785
Oh, my God. Here.
Just take-- take my jumper.
274
00:13:50,869 --> 00:13:53,331
- No, no, no, no.
- Take my jumper, you--
275
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,837
I'm sorry. [chuckles]
Please take my jumper.
276
00:13:56,755 --> 00:13:57,883
But then you'll be cold.
277
00:13:58,634 --> 00:13:59,595
Here, take my jumper.
278
00:13:59,678 --> 00:14:01,515
- Don't be silly.
- No, I insist.
279
00:14:01,599 --> 00:14:03,143
Okay, that's fine.
280
00:14:04,061 --> 00:14:05,690
- Okay. Sorry. Thank you.
- Thank you.
281
00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:07,401
[Rebecca laughs]
282
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:11,284
Thank you.
283
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:14,625
I was so excited when they said
you'd be back for the alumni speech.
284
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:17,463
I was a little surprised they asked me.
285
00:14:17,547 --> 00:14:21,012
Shut up. You're like a big, fancy lawyer.
Why not you?
286
00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:24,937
Must be so weird to bump into Jen again.
You guys were so close in school.
287
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,024
Oh, we still are. We-- We live together.
288
00:14:27,859 --> 00:14:28,694
Oh.
289
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:31,199
You're surprised we're still friends?
290
00:14:31,282 --> 00:14:34,205
No. No, no, no. Not at all. No.
291
00:14:34,288 --> 00:14:35,457
[chuckles]
292
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,879
- Well, no. No, no, no.
- What is it?
293
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:40,133
Do you not think
that she was a bit of a drama queen
294
00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:42,137
and you had to live in her shadow a lot?
295
00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:44,225
I'm sorry, that's so mean. That's just--
296
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,354
[groans, chuckles]
297
00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:48,943
I do try, but sometimes, it just… [grunts]
298
00:14:50,445 --> 00:14:51,740
That's not how I remember it.
299
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,370
She was always there
when it really counted.
300
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:56,374
Look, if my power has taught me anything,
301
00:14:56,457 --> 00:15:00,633
it's that what you think happened and what
actually happened can be very different.
302
00:15:00,717 --> 00:15:02,469
I'm not remembering it wrong.
303
00:15:03,346 --> 00:15:04,975
I'll show you.
304
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:06,310
You'll show me.
305
00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:09,442
Let's do it. Memory me.
306
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:12,991
All right. I'm sure I'm wrong.
307
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,504
[school bell rings]
308
00:15:19,588 --> 00:15:20,965
When are we?
309
00:15:21,049 --> 00:15:24,556
- Our own prize-giving. Sixth form.
- [emcee on PA, indistinct]
310
00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:26,476
Don't know why
we're in the bathroom though.
311
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,564
The ceremony should be in full swing.
312
00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:29,649
Oh.
313
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:30,735
[Jen] What does it say?
314
00:15:30,818 --> 00:15:33,824
[Carrie] I'm not sure.
All the instructions are in Polish.
315
00:15:33,908 --> 00:15:36,287
Well, it's the only one I could find
in the corner sklep.
316
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,208
- Who's the dad?
- I don't know. Michael Duncan.
317
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:39,628
Daniel Kim.
318
00:15:39,711 --> 00:15:40,713
Tom Welleridge.
319
00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:43,426
Oh! We'll have to do
the Mamma Mia! thing in 18 years.
320
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:45,013
I can't sing for shit, Carrie.
321
00:15:45,097 --> 00:15:46,517
What am I gonna do?
322
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,769
I thought you were a virgin.
323
00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:50,482
I am. But we shared that bathroom
on the coach trip to Bath,
324
00:15:50,566 --> 00:15:52,529
and I didn't wipe the seat
before I sat down,
325
00:15:52,612 --> 00:15:55,242
and there was something wet,
and I don't know if it was come.
326
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:57,037
Jen, you're not pregnant.
327
00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:58,164
Oh, you can read Polish?
328
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,588
I need to go and pick up my award.
Best attendance is a big deal.
329
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:04,678
No, no, no. Stay, please.
No, I'm gonna do one more for luck,
330
00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:06,932
- and I need you to stay and watch me pee.
- Why?
331
00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:09,061
'Cause I'm feeling
very vulnerable now, Carrie.
332
00:16:09,145 --> 00:16:11,608
And I can't focus with that staring at me.
333
00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:15,867
So she stopped you
from picking up your own award.
334
00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:19,541
Okay. That was bad.
But one time doesn't make a pattern.
335
00:16:21,002 --> 00:16:22,212
There.
336
00:16:23,256 --> 00:16:25,970
Show me another one.
I'm sure she'll redeem herself.
337
00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:30,646
[school bell rings]
338
00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:32,191
- [chattering]
- [shutter clicking]
339
00:16:32,274 --> 00:16:33,569
Is this my graduation?
340
00:16:33,652 --> 00:16:36,449
I thought I'd pick a day
that's all about you
341
00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:39,413
so that Jen can show
how supportive she is.
342
00:16:39,496 --> 00:16:41,500
Uh, maybe we should try a different day.
343
00:16:43,296 --> 00:16:44,758
Carrie, I need your help.
344
00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:45,927
Mum doesn't know I dropped out.
345
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:48,891
She thinks I'm graduating today
and she's here. But obviously, I'm not.
346
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,395
So I need to borrow your cap
and stuff real quick. Is that okay?
347
00:16:51,479 --> 00:16:53,024
- What?
- Just for the photo.
348
00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:55,237
- [photographer] Smile.
- [Jen] I'm sorry.
349
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,990
[groans] I know I'm such a fuck-up.
350
00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:58,744
No. It's-- It's fine.
351
00:17:00,831 --> 00:17:01,917
[photographer] Smile.
352
00:17:05,048 --> 00:17:06,050
Ready?
353
00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:07,386
Smile.
354
00:17:08,388 --> 00:17:10,183
- [Mary] Yoo-hoo! Jennifer.
- Hi, Mum!
355
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,437
- [Mary] You ready?
- [Jen] Yeah. No, I'm coming.
356
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:14,024
Two minutes.
357
00:17:14,693 --> 00:17:15,861
Next.
358
00:17:17,114 --> 00:17:18,867
[photographer] That's it. Chin up a bit.
359
00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:20,871
- Lovely. And smile.
- [shutter clicks]
360
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:27,301
Okay. Historically,
maybe she could've been better.
361
00:17:27,969 --> 00:17:31,058
- But she-- she's changed.
- Mm-hmm.
362
00:17:31,142 --> 00:17:34,398
I mean, you changed. I better give her
the benefit of the doubt.
363
00:17:34,481 --> 00:17:38,949
Or maybe you should sack up
and stop being such a pushover.
364
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:41,412
Don't get me wrong.
Jen is a self-obsessed bitch.
365
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:44,753
But you're just as bad,
you simpering fucking jellyfish.
366
00:17:44,836 --> 00:17:47,424
[exhales sharply]
367
00:17:47,508 --> 00:17:50,514
I'm so sorry.
You're just such an easy target.
368
00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:53,311
- I can't help myself.
- It's okay.
369
00:17:53,394 --> 00:17:55,566
You're trying, and that's what counts.
370
00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:56,902
[groans]
371
00:17:56,985 --> 00:18:00,283
Stand up for yourself, you tepid slut.
372
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:02,371
I need to remove myself
from this situation.
373
00:18:02,454 --> 00:18:05,043
Carrie, good luck with the speech.
It'll be great.
374
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,170
You have a weird forehead,
375
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,801
and that's the ugliest fucking jumper
I've ever seen in my life. Goodbye.
376
00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:13,142
It's your jumper.
377
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:18,236
[chattering]
378
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:19,864
I've written you an acceptance speech.
379
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:21,993
- I want you to read it.
- No.
380
00:18:22,077 --> 00:18:23,997
- Mum…
- Okay, fine. Give it.
381
00:18:27,505 --> 00:18:29,801
- I'm not reading this.
- Mother!
382
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:32,222
Okay, okay. I'll read it.
383
00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:35,061
Weirdo.
384
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:38,192
Oh.
385
00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:40,488
Oh, you're back.
386
00:18:40,573 --> 00:18:43,662
- Are you and Saint Rebecca best buds now?
- No, don't think so.
387
00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:46,125
[head teacher] Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
388
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,381
Oh, I better go. I wanna get a good seat.
I don't want to miss anything.
389
00:18:49,465 --> 00:18:50,885
- Really?
- Oh, my God.
390
00:18:50,968 --> 00:18:52,764
I've never looked forward
to a speech more in my life.
391
00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,016
Oh, thank you.
392
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,103
[head teacher] Michael! Down!
393
00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:57,565
♪ Uh-huh ♪
394
00:18:57,648 --> 00:18:58,650
[sighs, chuckles]
395
00:18:59,151 --> 00:19:00,236
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
396
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:04,328
- [Kash laughing]
- [penguin chitters, grunts]
397
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,790
Stupid birds.
398
00:19:05,873 --> 00:19:07,125
You ready to get out now?
399
00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:08,169
I think I am.
400
00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:10,633
But maybe just one more video.
401
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,639
Type in
"funny fire-safety demonstration fails."
402
00:19:13,722 --> 00:19:15,976
There's a really good one
with a guy with a moustache.
403
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:19,901
I don't wanna spoil it, but don't get
too attached to the moustache.
404
00:19:20,778 --> 00:19:23,575
[Jizzlord] That man looks a bit like you.
405
00:19:23,659 --> 00:19:24,577
What?
406
00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:27,249
You! You with them?
407
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,294
[Kash] No, mate. Don't know 'em.
408
00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:32,133
[Seb whimpering]
409
00:19:32,217 --> 00:19:34,889
Oh, God! Oh, God! [whimpers]
410
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:35,975
Oh, God!
411
00:19:36,058 --> 00:19:40,441
- [whimpering continues]
- [Jizzlord] It's got 400,000 views.
412
00:19:40,526 --> 00:19:41,945
Is that a lot?
413
00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:46,245
♪ Let's sit around and drink some sake ♪
414
00:19:47,665 --> 00:19:51,965
♪ And we can argue about the same things ♪
415
00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:53,384
I'll go sleep in the kitchen.
416
00:19:54,469 --> 00:19:56,683
♪ Talk about neighboursOn the front-- ♪
417
00:19:56,766 --> 00:20:00,315
[whispering] And the physics prize
goes to Maisie Costas.
418
00:20:00,398 --> 00:20:02,027
Big round of applause, please.
419
00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:04,991
No, no, no, no. [shushes]
420
00:20:05,074 --> 00:20:06,493
Smaller round of applause, please.
421
00:20:11,838 --> 00:20:13,174
Take that thing off.
422
00:20:14,719 --> 00:20:16,305
I think I've nearly found them.
423
00:20:18,267 --> 00:20:19,269
Oh.
424
00:20:19,854 --> 00:20:22,777
I just want you to know, I'm here for you.
425
00:20:24,071 --> 00:20:27,745
[whispering] And now,
for the final award of the night.
426
00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:32,128
This goes to a gifted violinist
who recently got into
427
00:20:32,212 --> 00:20:36,805
one of the most prestigious
musical conservatoires in the country.
428
00:20:36,888 --> 00:20:40,019
The award for outstanding achievement
goes to…
429
00:20:40,103 --> 00:20:41,397
Andy Douglas.
430
00:20:43,192 --> 00:20:44,194
[Jen whoops]
431
00:21:02,898 --> 00:21:06,614
Ladies, gentlemen, distinguished guests…
432
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:08,117
[clears throat]
433
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,581
- …Count Dracula.
- [audience laughs]
434
00:21:10,664 --> 00:21:13,002
It's a pleasure to see you all
here this evening.
435
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:18,805
It might look like I, a humble lesbian,
won this award all by myself,
436
00:21:18,889 --> 00:21:22,395
but my moderate success
is all down to one person.
437
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:25,193
My sister, Jennifer.
438
00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:27,322
Isn't that lovely?
439
00:21:28,992 --> 00:21:30,746
[sighs] People say to me,
440
00:21:30,829 --> 00:21:37,092
"Andy, is it a living hell to have
a sister who is a genius and also so hot?"
441
00:21:37,175 --> 00:21:42,435
- [audience laughs]
- And to those people, I say, yes.
442
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,732
But she's also done so much for me.
443
00:21:49,491 --> 00:21:52,413
When I had explosive diarrhoea
at Disneyland Paris,
444
00:21:52,497 --> 00:21:55,546
who bartered with Goofy for his trousers
to cover up my shame?
445
00:21:56,380 --> 00:22:01,599
When I was voted ugliest baby of 2004,
who contested the judgement?
446
00:22:01,683 --> 00:22:04,437
When I demanded Nelson Mandela
be put back in prison…
447
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:06,275
[all gasp]
448
00:22:07,318 --> 00:22:08,572
Do you know what?
449
00:22:08,655 --> 00:22:09,907
[paper rustles]
450
00:22:09,991 --> 00:22:11,744
I'd like to thank myself for this award.
451
00:22:13,038 --> 00:22:15,711
I've worked hard. I deserve it.
452
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,971
Although,
I would like to dedicate this award
453
00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:24,477
to all the people who have
never achieved anything.
454
00:22:25,229 --> 00:22:28,485
Never been the best at anything.
455
00:22:28,570 --> 00:22:30,616
They must feel really lame
456
00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:34,582
and-- and lash out in pathetic ways
because that's all they can do.
457
00:22:34,665 --> 00:22:39,800
So, yes, this is dedicated to my sister.
458
00:22:39,884 --> 00:22:41,721
[audience murmuring]
459
00:22:45,311 --> 00:22:48,442
- What are you doing?
- Andy didn't get into the Conservatoire
460
00:22:48,526 --> 00:22:51,824
because she can't play the violin anymore
because of her freakish strength.
461
00:22:51,908 --> 00:22:54,120
And she lied to all of you about it.
462
00:22:54,204 --> 00:22:56,208
And she broke her girlfriend's fanny.
463
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:57,670
[audience gasps]
464
00:23:03,430 --> 00:23:05,560
I think it might be Andy.
465
00:23:05,644 --> 00:23:08,900
Oh, here we go.
No, we're not falling for it.
466
00:23:08,984 --> 00:23:12,198
["Mummy Can't Sleep" playing]
467
00:23:12,282 --> 00:23:14,537
Come on. We're not buying it.
468
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,206
What have you done?
469
00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:17,375
♪ I don't wanna be here ♪
470
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:19,087
♪ I don't wanna be here ♪
471
00:23:19,170 --> 00:23:20,757
♪ I don't wanna be here ♪
472
00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:22,845
♪ You've been fucking with me, boy ♪
473
00:23:22,928 --> 00:23:24,974
♪ How did I wake upSurrounded by walls… ♪
474
00:23:25,057 --> 00:23:25,934
No, hey.
475
00:23:26,018 --> 00:23:28,022
♪ Keep banging the concreteTo blow up these halls ♪
476
00:23:28,105 --> 00:23:29,984
♪ Keep screaming"Please mummy I'm covered in scars" ♪
477
00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:32,030
[whispering] Let's get back on track.
478
00:23:32,113 --> 00:23:36,204
Please welcome Carrie Jackson,
class of 2015.
479
00:23:36,288 --> 00:23:38,585
[door opens, closes]
480
00:23:42,175 --> 00:23:43,302
[clears throat]
481
00:23:43,385 --> 00:23:46,433
- [Jen] At the bathroom.
- [Mary] The bathroom?
482
00:23:47,143 --> 00:23:49,481
What does it mean to achieve?
483
00:23:49,565 --> 00:23:52,571
[Mary] But you couldn't for one evening,
you little gobshite!
484
00:23:52,654 --> 00:23:54,742
[Jen] You are a cold and barren woman!
485
00:23:54,825 --> 00:23:57,288
Well, there have been many definitions
over the centuries.
486
00:23:57,372 --> 00:23:59,125
[Mary] I was absolutely mortified.
Mortified!
487
00:23:59,209 --> 00:24:01,923
[Jen] Oh, no.
Now Susan's not going to fuck you.
488
00:24:02,006 --> 00:24:04,177
- [gasps]
- [Mary] I don't want to fuck Susan!
489
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:06,014
- [Jen] Maybe I'll fuck Susan.
- [Carrie chuckles]
490
00:24:06,098 --> 00:24:08,812
[Jen] It's the closest I'm going to get
to a loving mother.
491
00:24:08,895 --> 00:24:11,400
- [Mary groans]
- She's joking. [chuckles] She's joking.
492
00:24:11,483 --> 00:24:12,945
Um…
493
00:24:13,028 --> 00:24:15,742
- [arguing continues]
- [Carrie sobs]
494
00:24:15,826 --> 00:24:19,792
[gasps]
Um, success in the modern world is…
495
00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:23,173
Sorry.
496
00:24:28,643 --> 00:24:30,354
[whispering] What does it mean to achieve?
497
00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:34,989
Oh, there you are. Where have you been?
498
00:24:35,072 --> 00:24:36,993
I think I left our drinks in here.
499
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:41,209
Also, I've alienated my entire family and
humiliated myself in front of everyone.
500
00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:42,546
So… [sighs]
501
00:24:48,850 --> 00:24:50,478
- Carrie?
- What?
502
00:24:50,562 --> 00:24:52,524
I think I've really fucked it actually.
503
00:24:52,608 --> 00:24:55,070
Have you? Again? Shocker.
504
00:24:55,154 --> 00:24:57,116
Why you being weird?
I'm having a crisis here.
505
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,538
- Course you are.
- Can you tell me why you're mad at me?
506
00:24:59,622 --> 00:25:01,876
I don't have the mental capacity
for this right now.
507
00:25:06,802 --> 00:25:08,305
I was meant to speak.
508
00:25:08,932 --> 00:25:11,061
And now, because of your tantrum,
I don't get to.
509
00:25:11,144 --> 00:25:12,689
Oh. [laughs]
510
00:25:13,273 --> 00:25:16,029
- Why are you laughing?
- I thought it was something serious.
511
00:25:16,112 --> 00:25:18,075
Ah, so it's only your problems
that are important.
512
00:25:18,158 --> 00:25:20,789
I'm sure you have plenty of problems,
with your long-term boyfriend
513
00:25:20,872 --> 00:25:22,709
and your promising career
and your cool power.
514
00:25:22,793 --> 00:25:25,047
My power is not all it's cracked up to be.
515
00:25:25,130 --> 00:25:26,049
It got you a job.
516
00:25:26,132 --> 00:25:28,805
Do you know how many people
wanna speak to me?
517
00:25:28,888 --> 00:25:30,684
Not someone famous.
518
00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:33,272
Not some pharaoh or president. Just me.
519
00:25:33,355 --> 00:25:34,190
No one.
520
00:25:34,274 --> 00:25:37,906
- I have to listen to you now, so…
- No one ever cares what I have to say.
521
00:25:38,616 --> 00:25:41,329
Well, they did tonight. But of course,
you couldn't let that happen.
522
00:25:41,413 --> 00:25:44,252
You couldn't bear an interruption
of the Jen show.
523
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:45,421
So I'm selfish?
524
00:25:45,505 --> 00:25:48,260
Yes. You always have been.
525
00:25:48,343 --> 00:25:49,513
It's always been about you.
526
00:25:49,597 --> 00:25:51,559
[sighs] Oh, stop being so dramatic.
527
00:25:52,686 --> 00:25:54,272
Who did I lose my virginity to?
528
00:25:55,232 --> 00:25:57,486
Okay, what foods am I allergic to?
529
00:25:57,571 --> 00:25:58,781
When did my nan die?
530
00:25:58,865 --> 00:26:01,036
- Fifth year.
- My nan's alive.
531
00:26:02,121 --> 00:26:04,000
But as if you know those things about me.
532
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:07,465
Peter Hamzi, dairy but you refuse
to acknowledge it, 2014.
533
00:26:12,141 --> 00:26:16,191
Look, uh, Carrie, you have no idea
what it's like to be me.
534
00:26:17,234 --> 00:26:18,780
I've got nothing.
535
00:26:19,990 --> 00:26:22,495
I'm sorry if I'm not dealing with it
with enough grace.
536
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:27,088
Oh, boo-fucking-hoo!
537
00:26:28,006 --> 00:26:30,720
I don't think you ever wanna get a power.
I think you like it.
538
00:26:30,804 --> 00:26:32,891
It gives you an excuse
to be a shitty person
539
00:26:32,974 --> 00:26:34,477
because the world is mean to you.
540
00:26:34,561 --> 00:26:38,695
But has the smallest seed of thought
ever passed through your brain
541
00:26:38,778 --> 00:26:41,951
that maybe you're not some troubled,
tragic martyr?
542
00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:43,453
Maybe you're just a nob.
543
00:26:43,538 --> 00:26:44,623
Fuck off!
544
00:26:49,925 --> 00:26:50,927
Okay.
545
00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:54,810
["We're Going to Be Friends" playing]
546
00:26:56,187 --> 00:26:58,735
♪ Fall is here, hear the yell ♪
547
00:26:58,818 --> 00:27:01,322
♪ Back to school, ring the bell ♪
548
00:27:01,406 --> 00:27:03,786
♪ Brand new shoes, walking blues ♪
549
00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:06,291
♪ Climb the fence, books and pens ♪
550
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:10,299
♪ I can tell thatWe are gonna be friends ♪
551
00:27:11,301 --> 00:27:15,058
♪ I can tell thatWe are gonna be friends ♪
552
00:27:18,941 --> 00:27:21,362
♪ Walk with me, Suzy Lee ♪
553
00:27:21,446 --> 00:27:23,784
♪ Through the park and by the tree ♪
554
00:27:23,868 --> 00:27:26,749
♪ We will rest upon the ground ♪
555
00:27:26,832 --> 00:27:28,753
♪ And look at all the bugs we found ♪
556
00:27:28,836 --> 00:27:30,507
["Nights In White Satin" playing on radio]
557
00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:33,638
[Jizzlord] Kash! The girls are back
and I'm scared your bubbles have, um…
558
00:27:33,721 --> 00:27:37,353
Okay. Here we go.
Let's cover up the shame.
559
00:27:37,436 --> 00:27:39,900
Thank you.
560
00:27:39,983 --> 00:27:43,490
[Jizzlord] There we go. No more penis.
561
00:27:43,574 --> 00:27:44,576
Lovely.
562
00:27:45,662 --> 00:27:46,664
Shall I get the brush?
563
00:27:46,747 --> 00:27:49,377
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
564
00:27:50,713 --> 00:27:52,634
♪ Yes, I love you ♪
565
00:27:53,553 --> 00:27:57,727
♪ Oh, how I love you ♪
566
00:27:58,729 --> 00:28:00,650
♪ Oh ♪
567
00:28:03,864 --> 00:28:07,539
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
568
00:28:08,331 --> 00:28:10,795
♪ Yes, I love you ♪
569
00:28:11,547 --> 00:28:15,680
♪ Oh, how I love you ♪
570
00:28:17,934 --> 00:28:21,274
♪ Oh, how I love you ♪
571
00:28:22,276 --> 00:28:24,615
♪ Oh ♪
43603
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