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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,380
Yeah, so sloth's climbing up Wall Three,
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,380
one of our most popular climbs.
3
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,520
When did he start his ascent, last week?
4
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,580
Over here.
5
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,290
Up there.
6
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,370
We had a kid's birthday party yesterday.
7
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,138
I think the petting zoo guy
must have forgotten him.
8
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,420
Oh, did they use Heavy Petters?
9
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,475
We get a lot of calls. Real
sloppy with their head count.
10
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,550
Oh, little dude's on the move.
11
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,340
He's getting cocky.
12
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:24,060
Shred, strap me in.
13
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,690
Frank, let me flag this one more time.
14
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,390
Are you sure you don't want me to climb?
15
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,739
Shred, look at him.
16
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,617
I'm just worried about you
overdosing on cuteness
17
00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:35,230
and losing all your faculties.
18
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,480
I got this.
19
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,920
Hurry, Frank! I think
he's losing his grip!
20
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:42,200
Mmhmm. The yelling helps.
21
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,660
Oh, yeah.
22
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,250
Hi, buddy. I'm Frank.
23
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,960
It's okay. Yeah, come on
over here nice and easy.
24
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,790
Oh, alright. Well, um...
25
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:58,300
- He likes the clip, Frank.
- Oh, look. It's shiny.
26
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,630
Okay, okay. No, no, no, no, no!
27
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:01,720
Ahhhhh!!!!!
28
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,510
Are you okay?
29
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,030
Oh, yeah, yeah.
30
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:07,100
The phone and keys broke my fall.
31
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,709
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
32
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,700
- What are you giggling at?
- Teresa.
33
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,490
She sent me a video of her
getting knocked over by a wave.
34
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:32,240
- She's very self-deprecating.
- Who's Teresa?
35
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,427
One of the women I'm texting with.
36
00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:34,860
- One of the women?
- Yeah.
37
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,349
I joined a couple of those dating apps
38
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:39,240
and maybe it's 'cause I posted a
picture of me with a baby giraffe
39
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:40,920
but I'm getting a lot of messages.
40
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,899
I feel like it was just a week
ago you were so heartbroken
41
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,550
over Emily you couldn't finish
your French toast sticks.
42
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,140
I'm done wallowing, Frank.
I'm done with it.
43
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:50,260
Man was not put on this Earth to wallow.
44
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:53,600
Hey, if you had a dazzling
text rapport with someone,
45
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,980
would you be willing to
travel to Bainbridge Island?
46
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,180
It's a long way away,
I have to take a ferry,
47
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,860
but I think it makes a statement.
48
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,413
Well, it's a big opportunity
for her to meet
49
00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:03,400
the most exhausting
person on the planet.
50
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,030
Precinct 22 adoption update:
51
00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,000
we just found a home for the goat,
52
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,160
so that makes 68 pets this quarter.
53
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,870
Our kennels are officially empty.
54
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,870
- Alright.
- Congratulations.
55
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,790
How many did Templeton's
broke ass precinct have?
56
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,500
As of this morning, 75.
57
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,348
Wait, so we don't have a
chance at the ping pong table?
58
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,670
There's only two days left.
59
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,080
Why did you present this as a win?
60
00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,860
Okay, well, we're second
in all of Seattle,
61
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:28,390
so we're going to get the pizza lunch.
62
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,799
But I don't want the pizza
lunch. I want the table.
63
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,259
Alright, well, it's not about winning,
64
00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,060
it's about the animals' well-being.
65
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,100
Oh, you think the animals
want Templeton to win?
66
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,310
No, they want justice,
67
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,230
and justice is me winning that table.
68
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,970
I mean us, the collective me.
I just wanna play ping pong!
69
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,020
Okay, bye, Frank.
70
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,749
Thank you for contacting
71
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:47,170
US Citizenship and Immigration Services.
72
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,870
Your call will be answered
by the next available agent.
73
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,620
Yes, I know, because
you've told me 700 times.
74
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,410
- Don't. Don't you dare.
- Gotcha.
75
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,511
- I don't like this part.
- Stop.
76
00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,920
Is that a French horn?
77
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,209
All units: Police requesting back-up
78
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:02,900
at 146 Broadway.
79
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,339
It's a French horn. Truck 8 responding.
80
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,070
Thank you for contacting
81
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,760
US Citizenship and Immigration Services.
82
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:11,120
This is torture! I just
need a green card!
83
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,100
Why are you making this so difficult?
84
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,940
Don't.
85
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:19,940
Hey, Officers Flea and Tick.
86
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:22,260
Oh, my God, you are so funny.
87
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,139
Those improv classes are
really paying off, Jimmy.
88
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,710
- What've we got?
- Hoarder died alone.
89
00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:27,830
A lot of toasters.
90
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,860
- A lot of cats.
- How many cats?
91
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,600
I don't know, man. Like 400?
92
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:33,129
They wouldn't stay
still for a head count.
93
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,440
They're all gonna need homes.
94
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:36,419
You know what else needs a
home? That ping pong table.
95
00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:37,750
- Up top, Shred.
- Yep.
96
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,000
Alright, let's go, guys.
97
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:42,950
Hi.
98
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,890
Ewww, this place freaks me out.
99
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:47,049
Yeah, I don't wanna toot my own horn,
100
00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:48,103
but this is exactly what I thought
101
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,120
a hoarder's house would smell like.
102
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:52,010
Classic Frank boast.
No way to verify it.
103
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,890
Just breathe in.
104
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,170
Don't do that!
105
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,260
Sorry. Who keeps a headless mannequin
106
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,710
- in a hallway, dude?
- What?
107
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,649
There are dozens of jars
of urine in the other room
108
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:05,700
and this gives you pause?
109
00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:08,470
Guys, remember that
hoarding is a disease
110
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,910
according to this pamphlet I found
111
00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:11,700
in a pile of pamphlets about hoarding.
112
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,530
Don't!
113
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,280
That is not cool!
114
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,330
- Dude.
- What?
115
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,399
Just 'cause an old lady died here
116
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,609
doesn't mean we can't have a little fun.
117
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:19,940
Can anyone else hear that music?
118
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:22,740
I can't tell whether it's real
or whether it's in my head.
119
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,320
I totally hear it.
120
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:25,670
'Cause it's music playing, guys.
121
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,770
Hello?
122
00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,280
Is anybody home?
123
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,600
Well, I hope you guys feel silly.
124
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,610
What is it?! Is it undead?
125
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,570
Away demon! Off! Get it off!
126
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,550
I think we just added
to the urine smell.
127
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,650
Get it off!
128
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,200
Too bad she didn't hoard
cleaning products.
129
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,060
Sure, it's got a bit of
deferred maintenance,
130
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,900
every surface is sticky,
but it's got good bones.
131
00:04:57,940 --> 00:05:00,200
A savvy investor could come
in here and make a killing.
132
00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,690
Look at this. That's original red oak.
133
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:03,760
Right.
134
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,130
Is that a working fireplace?
135
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,480
Ooh, I just got confirmation
from Bainbridge Island.
136
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,950
I'm now fully booked for the week.
137
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,519
Like, you gotta get on one
of these apps, Frank.
138
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,340
Dating apps are for losers.
139
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,090
I get heaps of action from those apps.
140
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,640
Dating apps are for losers
and illegal aliens.
141
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:19,750
- Oh, burn.
- Let's get these cats out of here
142
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,140
- and go win a ping pong table.
- Yeah, working!
143
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,300
Maybe I should invest.
144
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:24,739
I think you're changing the subject.
145
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:27,770
The subject was and always will
be ping pong. You changed it.
146
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,760
Yeah, but I've known
you a year and a half,
147
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,240
you've never been in a relationship,
148
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:32,360
I just think it's weird.
149
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,200
Look, I got ghosted by
the same woman twice.
150
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,570
And my dentist, also a woman,
she keeps rescheduling,
151
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,879
so I'm just gonna take the spring off.
152
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,080
Frank, you're not getting any younger.
153
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,570
And don't you wanna meet a nice lady
154
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:43,370
who can help you get
on and off the toilet?
155
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,689
Yeah, you know, one more comment
like that and I'm calling ICE.
156
00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:46,939
I'm just saying you have to be careful,
157
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:49,290
because this situation could be you.
158
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:52,470
Lonely, tall man, dies
surrounded by his cats.
159
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,130
- Okay.
- I think it might already be too late.
160
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,100
My legs are so well-defined
they think it's a scratching post.
161
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,200
Sure.
162
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,400
Alright everybody, listen up.
163
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,190
We have been given a
gift with these cats.
164
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,820
A screeching, clawing
gift from the gods.
165
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,660
What is going on with these phones?
166
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,320
Immigration.
167
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,870
That is a French horn, right?
168
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,410
What's your excuse?
169
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,450
Bainbridge Island fell out
and I have to fill her slot.
170
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,970
Let me rephrase that.
171
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,660
Frank, is now a good
time to speak to you
172
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,460
about an investment opportunity?
173
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,130
- No.
- Because I am on Zillow right now,
174
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:35,330
excellent school district,
175
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,949
it practically sells itself
to a young family,
176
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,470
not to mention a peekaboo
view of the Space Needle.
177
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,189
I wouldn't even go in on
a bag of M&M's with you,
178
00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:43,640
let alone a hoarder's house.
We need to focus.
179
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,410
There is a ping pong table at stake.
180
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,520
Sure, I could just buy one,
but it's not about that.
181
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,050
It's about beating Templeton.
182
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,650
So we have until end of business Friday
183
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:52,849
to get this product out the door.
184
00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:54,980
Okay, Frank, just a reminder
they're neglected cats,
185
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:57,320
not product, and it's, you
know, less about speed,
186
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,200
more about finding them
good, loving homes.
187
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,720
Totally. Three of them are siblings.
188
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:03,210
So we could probably put
those into one package
189
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,950
and that would leave us just ten units.
190
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,250
Officer Dudge approaching,
191
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,269
- should I deny entry?
- Yeah.
192
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,250
- Yes.
- No, it's fine, Bettany.
193
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,010
Okay, not sure if you heard,
we unloaded the beagle
194
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,960
with the infected anal glands.
195
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,480
So next question:
deep dish or thin crust?
196
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,830
I'm not hungry now after hearing
about that beagle situation.
197
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:22,010
That ping pong table is gonna fit nicely
198
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:26,140
next to the Sno-Cone machine
we won last quarter,
199
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:29,320
and at some point, Emily,
this is about your leadership.
200
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,400
Or lack thereof.
201
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,244
Okay, you're not gonna make me
feel bad about this, Templeton.
202
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,310
I might.
203
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,662
And you're awfully quiet, Frank.
204
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,103
Don't worry, I'm screaming plenty
of things at you in my head.
205
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,690
There's that snark, that wry smile.
Alright, backhand, slice.
206
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:44,506
Bye.
207
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,230
- All clear.
- Okay, we're changing tactics.
208
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,250
We're gonna win.
209
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,390
I am so sick of that jerk just
always gunning for my job
210
00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:57,260
and I need to wipe the smug
little smile off of his face.
211
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,090
I like petty, competitive Emily.
212
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:01,630
Yeah, she's sexy.
A little bit naughty, even.
213
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,600
And I'm not allowed to
say this stuff at work,
214
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,930
so maybe I'll get disciplined.
215
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,560
I'm really sorry about that,
I-I've switched birth control,
216
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,750
so I'm feeling a bit crazy.
217
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,110
Okay, we need a plan.
218
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,440
I think we all know what we have to do.
219
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,520
Oh, here we go.
220
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,050
- Any excuse.
- Love it.
221
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,260
- She loves it.
- Love it.
222
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,457
I'm sorry, what do we have to do?
223
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:20,110
We have to dress the cats up
224
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,660
and put pictures of them on our website.
225
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,960
And I should probably be in
charge of costume theme.
226
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,279
We're not doing the
Jane Austen thing again.
227
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,830
Why not? It was so cute.
228
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,100
The lizard in the bonnet
sat there for five months.
229
00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:31,880
And two of those months it was dead.
230
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,130
- But it was cute.
- Okay,
231
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,340
I am gonna pull rank that I don't have.
232
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,650
Wild West theme, everybody.
233
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:37,740
Sheriffs, cowboys,
234
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,220
- maybe a little bordello.
- Yes!
235
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:40,999
- That is what we're doing.
- I love the wild west.
236
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,090
Yosemite Sam was always
my favorite Loony Toon.
237
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,523
Everybody knows that
Bugs Bunny was the best.
238
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,817
I'm not having this argument again.
239
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,220
- Pepe LePew?
- Cancelled.
240
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:49,600
- Always ignored.
- No. Okay.
241
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:53,090
I can work with Wild West,
I'm seeing lots of cotton bloomers
242
00:08:53,146 --> 00:08:56,110
and bolo ties, so you two,
I need you on art supplies.
243
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,210
I need you two on
teeny-tiny cat costumes.
244
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,900
Okay. We need to make these
cats as adorable as possible
245
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:01,969
- as fast as possible.
- Yeah.
246
00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,730
- Let's go, everybody. Let's go.
- Right now?
247
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,160
Claws become features.
248
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,940
The three-legged cat needs
to have a Civil War costume,
249
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,540
give him a back story. Let's go!
250
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,460
Bainbridge Island is back in!
251
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,130
Uh, don't use office hours
for trivial nonsense.
252
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,290
You're supposed to be
ordering tiny cowboy hats.
253
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,120
I don't know if I can trust her now.
254
00:09:19,170 --> 00:09:21,630
I'm gonna double book a date
just so I have a back-up plan.
255
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,854
Shred, I don't wanna get
involved in your emotional life,
256
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,970
I've been consistent
and unwavering in that,
257
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,010
but you seem a little
nuts with the dating.
258
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,070
Oh, you and my mother.
259
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,110
That's what she thinks,
260
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:33,430
that I haven't processed
all my feelings for Emily.
261
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,600
Well, process this: boo hoo.
262
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,020
You know what? You and
your mom covered it.
263
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,820
I'm gonna tell you what I told her.
264
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,380
Don't clip my wings, Mom.
265
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,640
I'm flying into a world
266
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:46,590
of unknown romantic slash
sexual opportunities.
267
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,028
Truck 12. Business owner
reporting missing animal.
268
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,130
3247 Kinley Street.
269
00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:53,080
Truck 12 responding,
270
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,420
Officer Shaw and his unhinged
passenger on their way.
271
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,630
Frank is a great guy.
272
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,379
I mean, if I had one
constructive criticism,
273
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,200
it would be that his
dreams, they're small.
274
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,340
Not like you and me.
275
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,630
Others see storm clouds,
276
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,170
we see an opportunity
277
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:09,270
to invent the umbrella. We get it.
278
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,180
I'm not investing in
no disgusting house.
279
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,220
And if it's so great,
why don't you just buy it?
280
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,509
Well, I've sunk a lot of liquidity
281
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,190
into children's piano lessons.
282
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,060
Oh, my gosh, I'm next in line.
This is very exciting.
283
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,530
I've been on hold for literally hours.
284
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,690
This is very unfortunate timing.
285
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,160
No!!!!
286
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:29,920
Oh, boy.
287
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,410
A psychic who can't find their own pet.
288
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,700
It's gonna be hard for me
to be my best self in there.
289
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,590
So my monkey, Nirvana,
290
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,140
she's the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain.
291
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,420
That's how she got her name.
292
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:43,860
Yeah, I put two and two together.
293
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,200
I got a little ESP of my own.
294
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,550
I know she's going to be okay
because I can see she's safe.
295
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,680
Wanna short cut this and
tell us where she is?
296
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,520
- It doesn't work like that.
- Of course not.
297
00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:55,120
Hey. We'll alert the authorities.
298
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,480
Well, actually, it's actually us.
299
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,900
But don't worry,
we will find your monkey.
300
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,360
You have a kind aura.
301
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,610
- Thanks.
- Yours is more turbulent.
302
00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:05,210
What gave it away? My overt hostility,
303
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,610
or that more than once I've
implied that you're a charlatan?
304
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:08,990
Hey, can I ask you something?
305
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,920
There's this girl on
Bainbridge Island...
306
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,260
She's not worth it. Too far away.
307
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:15,620
Also, she's very indecisive.
308
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,440
Frank, she's good. Ask her something.
309
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,330
- No.
- Come on.
310
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,559
Are we gonna win the ping pong table?
311
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,470
Seriously? You can ask me anything.
312
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,880
I can see into the future or
communicate with the dead.
313
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,730
Fine. Reach out to my dead mother
314
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,139
and ask her if she thinks we're
gonna win the ping pong table.
315
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:37,113
You're at a crossroads in life.
316
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,800
I can only see one path clearly
317
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,780
and it's a path of great loneliness.
318
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,820
Have you considered a dating app?
319
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,600
Just admit you don't know who's
gonna win the ping pong table.
320
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:49,560
Ping pong is just a distraction.
321
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:53,100
Underneath you don't think there's
someone out there for you.
322
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,120
You've given up on love.
323
00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:56,750
I just got a chill.
324
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,803
That chill is because strip mall
medium here can't afford heat.
325
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:02,180
And she lost an entire monkey.
326
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,170
- Alright, let's go.
- Thank you.
327
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,460
_
328
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,620
This bartender looks
like my uncle Jimmy.
329
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,930
Holy crap, I think it's working.
330
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,590
- Getting a lot of likes.
- Really?
331
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,840
Here we go. Okay. Some family
wants to adopt Billy the Kitten
332
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,270
- and the hairless call girl.
- Yes!
333
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,884
Still no takers on the hairy call girl.
334
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:24,750
- Emily?
- Hey.
335
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,579
Can I help you? I mean, you've
been going non-stop all day.
336
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,470
Um, yeah, actually could you hand me
337
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,880
that tiny little hang man's noose
338
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:32,300
for our cattle wrestler here?
339
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:35,540
Wow, look at that. You've
got a real creative side.
340
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:36,840
Thanks.
341
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,439
Ever thought about working
on a bigger canvas?
342
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,480
No, I'm not investing
in your house, Patel.
343
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,540
- I'm taking an early lunch.
- Okay.
344
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,950
Agent.
345
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,030
Agent.
346
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,040
I'm saying agent!
347
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:50,260
Officer Dudge approaching.
348
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,220
This is pandering, whoring your pets.
349
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,760
- Emily's in her office.
- Okay.
350
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,026
This is pandering, whoring your pets.
351
00:12:56,027 --> 00:12:57,900
I've already registered
my complaint online.
352
00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:01,120
- Wait, are you catdignity99?
- Yes, I am.
353
00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:04,120
'Cause someone has to speak
for those who have no voice.
354
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,709
Have you ever considered
a vow of silence
355
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,160
- in solidarity?
- Never.
356
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,220
Doesn't your supervisor ever
wonder where you are?
357
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,120
- Yeah.
- Oh, starting tomorrow
358
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,290
he will be able to find me
at our new ping pong table.
359
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,900
I don't know. I mean, you wouldn't
have come all this way
360
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:18,200
if you weren't a little
sweaty and nervous.
361
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,859
You know I have a diminished thyroid,
362
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,410
so that is workplace harassment.
363
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,830
I can't keep track of all
your shrinking body parts.
364
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,769
Why don't you make a complaint
to one of your cat forums?
365
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,850
Maybe I already did.
366
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:27,870
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
367
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,500
Oh, what did it say?
368
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,134
Meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,
369
00:13:32,135 --> 00:13:34,064
- meow, meow, he was mean to me.
- Okay. Yeah.
370
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,520
- Hey, Shred.
- Hey, what's up?
371
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,120
Hey, yo, how come you haven't
asked me to invest yet?
372
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,950
Ah, you're a young kid, man.
373
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,229
You don't have that kind of extra dough.
374
00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:45,880
I mean, you know I had a lot of sponsors
375
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,202
when I was a snowboarder, right?
376
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,160
Really?
377
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,320
Wait, so would you be
interested in investing?
378
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,150
Oh, I wish I could.
379
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,100
Of course you just build me
up just to cut me down, huh?
380
00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:58,280
Dude, I don't have time for
side projects right now.
381
00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,490
I'm dating non-stop.
382
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,070
Let me take you by after work,
383
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,000
you see the neighborhood
at night, no commitment.
384
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,330
Alright, yeah.
385
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,460
I'm always looking for ways
to expand my portfolio.
386
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,710
Yeah. That's it. Portfolio?
387
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,490
I'm not worried. We're leading by six
388
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,280
and closing time is fast approaching.
389
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:15,519
Oh, boom.
390
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,480
Found a home for the labradoodle.
391
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:19,300
Well, I wouldn't get too confident
392
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,760
because boom, just found a home
393
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,020
for Fluffy Frontier Pharmacist.
394
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,440
That was a picture of a cappuccino.
395
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,379
We will find a home for
Fluffy Frontier Pharmacists!
396
00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,663
And all of the citizens of Cat Town.
397
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,680
Feels very desperate, people.
Very desperate.
398
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,530
That's an ace.
399
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:38,600
That's a slice.
400
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,990
Put a freaking agent on the phone.
401
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,080
Bam!
402
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,680
Look at this. Sycamore lined streets,
403
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,380
I mean, this place just
has all the intangibles.
404
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:58,050
Oof, there she is, right in
the middle of the block.
405
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,720
What're all those people doing there?
406
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:02,160
Is that an open house?
That's not in the MLS.
407
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,770
You think they're
doing a pocket listing?
408
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:07,440
Look at those beams.
409
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,810
Welcome, I'm Ben.
410
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,650
- Ah, you must be the listing agent.
- Hi.
411
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,400
Uh, no. I'm Audrey's son.
412
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,430
So help yourself to some food
413
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,900
and the rabbi will begin
prayers in a few minutes.
414
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,320
Oh.
415
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,340
There's been a huge misunderstanding.
416
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,800
I'm so sorry, we thought
this was an open house.
417
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,660
I am so sorry for your loss.
418
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,900
- That is just devastating.
- Yeah.
419
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,910
But in regards to the house,
420
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:32,400
have you guys come up
with an asking price?
421
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,680
Not that there's...
that's not for today.
422
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:40,510
No, today is about your mother.
We're... um, we're gonna...
423
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,520
Wait. Don't go.
424
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,930
My mother didn't have many friends
425
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,840
and we need ten people for a minion.
426
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,340
Please be seated.
427
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,880
This house is great for entertaining.
428
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,680
Ten in the living room, no problem?
429
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,960
We come in low, but we come in fast.
430
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,010
Hello, Templeton.
Are you calling to concede?
431
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,650
I know you cheated.
We were up by three at 4:45.
432
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,500
That ping pong table
should be ours, Frank!
433
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,640
What can I tell ya?
434
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,730
An animal lover came in
right before the bell.
435
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,500
But you still got that
pizza lunch, right?
436
00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,410
What is it, two medium
pies for 30 people?
437
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,280
That sounds like fun.
Enjoy the stampede.
438
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:32,140
I'm launching a formal investiga...
439
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:37,220
Alright, guys, let's not get
too comfortable, okay?
440
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,560
This isn't permanent.
441
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,530
You're leaving when we
find you new homes.
442
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,310
Except for you, Doc Whiskers.
Obviously you're staying.
443
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,330
Because I love you,
444
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,740
and I've always loved you. I sure do.
445
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,008
Hey, what do you ladies
wanna watch, huh?
446
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,170
What's happening to me?
447
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:58,880
I can't talk, I'm on hold.
448
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,970
Mock me all you want, I need your help.
449
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,772
I need you to get me
on those dating apps.
450
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,450
- Aren't those for losers?
- Oh, absolutely.
451
00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:06,859
And I am ready to join their ranks.
452
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,140
I'll be right there.
453
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,860
I know.
454
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,700
I was so embarrassed, you know?
455
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,379
And then my mom came to
pick me up from school
456
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:19,210
with a brand new baseball glove.
457
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,160
Which she probably has in
the basement somewhere
458
00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,090
along with every pair of
cleats I've ever owned.
459
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,490
She has a hard time
letting go of things.
460
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:31,290
Now I'm having a hard
time letting go of her.
461
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,530
Thank you, Ben. That was beautiful.
462
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:34,830
Beautiful.
463
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,540
Would anyone else like to share?
464
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,560
I would.
465
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,800
What?
466
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,250
Uh, being with all of you
has made me very aware
467
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,023
of how hard it is to
lose someone you love.
468
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,050
To know that you can never be together.
469
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,700
To know that your life
is forever changed.
470
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,440
To know that she's
with someone else now.
471
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,310
And the odds of finding
somebody with a radiant beauty
472
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,660
that likes dressing cats
in adorable outfits
473
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,300
is pretty much zero.
474
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:05,320
And I've been running from
my feelings for a while,
475
00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:08,990
but the truth is I'm just
really, really sad.
476
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,240
I'm sad.
477
00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:17,920
Thank you.
478
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,220
You save animals for a living.
479
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:23,270
I... I don't understand
why you're fighting it.
480
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,440
I think most women would
find that very appealing.
481
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,510
There's so much more to me than that.
482
00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:29,350
I'm a deep thinker.
483
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,100
I'm a graduate of the school of life.
484
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,770
Do you wanna add celibate to the list?
485
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,380
Look, it's very simple, Frank.
486
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,600
You are six foot four,
you don't have kids,
487
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,160
you save animals for a living.
488
00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:42,480
It wouldn't hurt to mention
your shoe size, they look big.
489
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,180
Can you at least add that I'm a
bourbon and scotch enthusiast?
490
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,280
Yeah, sure. Drinks too much.
491
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:48,349
Why don't we just lead with that?
492
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,699
Alright, just say whatever you want.
493
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,160
But don't use the photo of
me and the baby giraffe.
494
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,790
Oh, it's good actually.
495
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,330
Yeah, my hair looked good that day.
496
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,620
Vain.
497
00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,950
You alright? You got pretty
emotional in there.
498
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:02,070
Yeah. I mean, you probably already know,
499
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,550
but I'm having some
trouble getting over Emily.
500
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,220
Totally. Emily.
501
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,090
- Honestly, I did not know that.
- Really?
502
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,150
Yeah, you'd be surprised at
how self-centered I can be.
503
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,690
Oh. Well, yeah. I guess I thought
I was ready to start dating,
504
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,620
but I'm just not, man.
505
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:19,270
You'll get there, buddy.
506
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,680
Thanks.
507
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,820
- You know what might be nice?
- Hmm?
508
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,140
Just throw yourself into a project.
509
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,450
Something with incredible
upside potential.
510
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,070
You really are self-centered.
511
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,130
You have no idea.
512
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,160
But why do you want this
house so bad, anyway?
513
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,490
Well, Maya is in bed rest,
my kids are monsters,
514
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,320
I want something that's mine.
515
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:38,330
- I get that, man.
- Yeah.
516
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:40,420
I need something that's mine, too.
517
00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:42,500
Let's do it.
518
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,460
Really?
519
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,760
Yeah, dude. Let's, like,
let's actually do it.
520
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:48,980
- Are you... ?
- I'm serious.
521
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,260
- No, let's be, like, real estate tycoons.
- Yes!
522
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,160
- Yes! Let's run this town, baby!
- Yeah, dude!
523
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,350
It'll be... Wait.
524
00:19:56,360 --> 00:20:00,420
Hey, whoa, in that tree,
is that a... is that a monkey?
525
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,620
Okay, are you ready to
unleash your manhood
526
00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:05,661
on the greater Seattle area?
527
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,229
What the hell app did
you sign me up for?
528
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,540
Too late, we're live.
529
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:11,820
I hope you meet someone great.
530
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,490
I don't have a very good track record.
531
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,830
No, neither do I.
532
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,400
But I'm a lot younger than you,
so I feel like I've got time.
533
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,699
Citizenship and Immigration,
what can I do for you?
534
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:22,960
Oh, my God!
535
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:24,900
No way! It's a real live actual person!
536
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:28,820
Hello. Sorry, um, I just...
uh, I have questions
537
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,340
about, uh, the application process.
538
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:33,459
Hold on, let me transfer
you to that department.
539
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,940
Wait, no. Do not put me on hold...
540
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,770
I hate your country!
541
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,960
Hello, applications?
542
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,089
- That was really quick.
- Hello?
543
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,240
Hang on, I'm coming!
544
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,510
- Hello?
- Just wait.
545
00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:46,820
Wait a hot minute,
I just have to find you.
546
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:48,623
- I'm coming. Do not hang up.
- Hello?
547
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:51,100
Do not hang up! Do not hang up!
548
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,940
Hey, I've already gotten two matches.
549
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,240
Ah, one's a cousin.
550
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,530
- Officer Taylor?
- I found your little friend.
551
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,300
That's not my monkey.
552
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,090
I knew this was going to happen.
553
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:17,140
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
present to you Lady Monkeyton.
554
00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,119
She's totally getting adopted.
555
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,520
She's so aristocratic.
556
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,119
It's hard to believe that
just five minutes ago
557
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,640
she was throwing her own feces.
558
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:25,949
Alright, who wants to play ping pong?
559
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,399
- I'll play ping pong.
- Let's go.
560
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,580
Yes.
561
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:34,060
Lady Monkeyton, you are the
most beautiful eligible monkey
562
00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:36,070
in all of the land.
563
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,040
You might get a proposal soon.
564
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:42,880
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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