All language subtitles for Slashening.The.Final.Beginning.2021.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-ESub

Should we order pizza?

Nah, nobody
will deliver out here.

Wow, look at all this space.

This place is huge.

Yeah, how are you
able to afford this place?

I got a really
great deal on it actually.

And it came furnished.

How'd you get such a good deal?

Well, you know, it's
a pretty crazy story.

If you want to hear it.

Yeah.

I like a story.

All right.

Check it out.

So have you guys ever heard
of the Long Island Slashening?

Oh yeah.

Didn't a bunch of kids get
like killed or something?

Yep.

No.

This is not the house where it happened.

Yeah it is, man.

Wait, what is this Slashening thing?

Okay, so about five
years ago, a group of girls

were having a little get together.

Invited some boys over.

Drinking, some drugs.

You know, usual girl stuff.

So anyway, the neighbors apparently

got driven insane by this noise

and they came over and
slaughtered everyone.

Including a couple pizza guys.

They just picked everyone
off one by one by one.

'Til the final two girls,
Lucy and Margot, fought back.

Killed them.

But then Lucy snapped.

She killed Margot.

Her best friend.

And she got sent to an insane asylum.

Where she remains to this very day.

Dope, right?

Come on, that's not true.

People were murdered in this house?

Yeah, pretty brutal stuff too.

A guy got castrated in the kitchen.

Oh that is nasty.

Come on.

I don't feel all that comfortable
being in a murder house.

What are you scared of?

You scared of some ghosts?

Some ghosts are gonna be here?

Copycat killers?

What, is Lucy gonna find out that people

moved into the house and escape

from the insane asylum and come kill us?

She's on lockdown!

Come on.

Stop being a scaredy cat.

Let's check out the house.

The place is great.

Furnished!

I'm gonna go get another beer.

Oh, there's some cold ones

in the fridge in the basement.

Cool.

Oh, that is where the neighbor

got dismembered though, so be careful.

Fuck you.

No killers down here, right?

Serial or otherwise with the knives

and the claws and the...

Lucy!

Oh shit!

Zed, come on, man.

You're fine.

Stupid ass story.

Should we really be doing
this in the murder house?

Well maybe we should counter that

by making it a love house.

I am crushing this.

Wait, wait.

Are you able to consent to this?

Yes, I am.

Okay cool.

Wait, wait.

It's just you had a couple beers earlier

and while you're able to say you consent,

you might actually be too
impaired to really do so.

Yeah, I am totally clear-headed.

I definitely consent to this.

Okay, awesome.

Oh wait, wait.

You know, you had a couple drinks too.

Are you able to consent?

'Cause guys can get
taken advantage of too.

Yes, yes I can.

And babe, thank you
for valuing my consent.

Wait.

You know, just to be safe.

Can you tilt your head
back and touch your nose?

Okay.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Okay.

Okay wait, you know what?

Just one more thing.

To be 100% positive let's both

say the alphabet together backwards.

- Z-Y-X, W-V-U, T-S-R, Q,
- Z-Y-X, W-V-U, T-S-R, Q,

- P-O-N, M-L-K, J-I-H, G,
- P-O-N, M-L-K, J-I-H, G,

- F-E-D, C-B-A.
- F-E-D, C-B-A.

Great, so we're both def
sober and able to consent.

Let's have some intercourse.

Okay, this is so hot.

Why'd you turn the light on?

I didn't, I thought you did.

I can't believe two people

were murdered in this very garage.

It's just so, so...

Crazy.

Hot.

What?

Yeah, like what if their ghosts

are like trapped in this garage?

You know, like for all eternity.

What if they're watching us right now?

I want some dick.

Pull it out.

Okay, sure.

You know, I don't want anyone watching,

but who am I to refuse a little head?

Oh my god, you're uncircumcised?

Yeah, it's not a problem is it?

No, it's the best.

We can dock dicks.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, we can do that.

Yeah.

Okay, sure.

Go dick tip to dick tip.

Now pull your foreskin over.

Oh fuck.

We're docked.

We're docked!

Yes, fuck.

Oh fuck yeah.

Oh fuck.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, oh yeah.

Can we fuck?

Can you fuck me?

I could turn around or something.

No no no, we are fucking.

We're fucking?

Dick hole to dick hole.

Cock on cock.

It's like our souls are touching.

Oh my god, now look me in the eye.

Look me in the eye.

No no, don't blink!

Don't blink, it'll go soft!

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Oh yeah.

Okay.

Fuck yeah.

Our dicks!

There's a nail through our dicks!

Who the fuck is that?

No don't pull away!

You're pulling my dick!

No, please, stop!

Don't, no no no, please!

Why are you doing this?

My dick!

My beautiful beautiful dick!

Please don't!

No, no, no no no no no.

Why?

Zed's been gone for a
really long time, right?

I mean how long does it take
to get beers from the basement?

I mean he's probably just
fucking around down there.

Who cares?

We don't need beer anyway!

Because I got us a bottle of wine.

Yep.

Wine is the best.

You know, I took a class trip

with the French club to Paris.

Back in high school, so I know

a little bit about the ol' vino there.

Yeah.

You know you can't just
use regular grapes?

Oh this is an excellent vintage.

Yeah, you gotta get special grapes.

Not everybody knows that.

You know?

So.

It really is a drink for
more sophisticated people.

Good thing we are they.

Right?

Right babe?

Hannah?

Hannah where'd you go?

Hannah?

You down there?

This isn't one of Zed's
dumb little tricks is it?

'Cause I'm not falling for that.

I've been to Paris.

You can't fool me.

Come on.

All right guys, come on.

Stop.

Stop playing games.

Just opened this wine.

We gotta drink it before it expires.

Come on, guys.

Where'd you go?

Oh, this guy.

Fucking hiding in the corner, man.

Oh my God!

What the fuck?

Oh shit!

Oh my god!

Oh my god.

Oh, okay.

All my friends and
acquaintances are dead!

Man, who are you?

Why are you doing this?

No!

Stop!

No, stop, no!

Please don't!

No, please don't!

Please don't.

What are you doing?

Don't do this!

Don't do this!

Don't do this!

No, please don't!

Please don't!

Please don't.

Dude.

Dude, dude, you're not doing it right.

You gotta, you're pressing way too hard.

You just gotta hold it firm.

Hold it firm, but glide
it with your wrist.

Use more wrist.

Glide.

Glide it.

Strike it.

Yeah.

No.

Make it count 'cause you're
running out of matches.

Okay?

Come on.

Oop, there goes your match.

There's your last one.

You didn't get it.

No.

Oh no.

No.

No!

No!

No!

That was the scene last night

as a house in Long Island
was burned to the ground.

Investigators found the bodies

of seven people believed
to have been murdered.

This is the same house
that had been the scene

of the Long Island Slashening
just five years earlier.

So far authorities have no suspects.

Madison.

Madison.

How are you?

I heard the news.

I'm fine.

No I'm not.

This just brings up a
lot of bad memories, so.

The past is the past, girl.

You can't keep living it.

Try living here.

Now.

You moved in two months ago
and you still haven't unpacked.

It's just really hard to let go.

You wanna know why they
called today the present?

Because.

It's a gift.

There might be someone
who could maybe help.

Welcome.

I'm Pat.

I see some new faces here.

And a few old friends.

But we're all here for one reason.

To heal.

Together.

And the first step in that
process is sharing our stories.

To break the ice, I'll start.

I was one of the few survivors

of the Long Island Slashening.

I saw most of my friends
brutally murdered,

had scalding hot water
poured all over my face,

my left eye ripped out of my skull,

my penis severed and shoved in my mouth.

But I'm alive, dangit.

And I'm a better man for it.

I'm Scott.

I've had some problems with
substances and stuff like that.

My dad did too, so.

But now I'm learning how to channel

all that negative energy into my music.

It's great, man.

I'm Link.

And yeah, life seemed pretty all right.

Or whatever.

And then one day I was like
what if this is all a dream?

You know?

Like, how do we know what's really real?

Or not real.

And it's like whoa.

So I'm Viv.

And I'm Bex.

And we're here by court order.

For something stupid.

So stupid.

Vehicular homicide?

It sounds like we killed a car.

Yeah, instead of an
old man who didn't know

how to look both ways
before crossing the street.

It's all Trent's fault.

Fuck Trent!

Fuck him hard.

So hard.

Trent dared us to go down on each other

while we were driving.

Which is really hard to do.

So of course we couldn't
see where we were going.

Duh!

Duh!

Trent should be the one
going to these meetings.

Not us.

Instead he's "in a coma".

Lucky.

He's so lucky.

My dad's a lawyer and he fixed it

so instead of jail we
had to go to counseling.

We shouldn't have to do anything.

We said we were sorry.

And we meant it.

Your dad is a shitty lawyer.

So shitty, I hate him.

Now I personally have
never felt any sort of grief.

Ever.

And that's just one of the privileges

of being a privileged cis white male.

But I understand that my kind has created

nothing but damage in this world.

Which is why I am here to understand.

And to listen and to be with you.

So ladies in particular.

If you ever need to talk,
I've got two good ears.

And I'm not gonna listen to you.

No.

I'm gonna hear you.

Because that's the only way we're going

to make this world a better place.

By the way, I'm Dylan.

I'm Cher.

And when I was six years old my family

was murdered on Christmas morning.

I found their bodies
surrounded by presents.

Of which my sister got more than I did.

Anyway, no killer was ever found.

After that I spent four
years at an orphanage

where I was picked on on a daily basis.

And then everyone there
was murdered except for me.

In the same violent fashion as my family.

And after that, I just
went from place to place,

unsolved murder after unsolved murder.

Until I met Pat.

You know, Pat really
really helped me open up.

And he is the only person in
this world that I don't hate.

And if anyone ever
tried to hurt Pat, well.

I would.

I would, I would, I would...

I would take the Christmas
lights off the Christmas tree

and I would strangle
that person really tight.

And then I would hang 'em
by the evergreen bell.

And then I'd take the tree
and the star off the tree

and I would cut 'em from
neck to naval and just

watch the blood just gushing
down onto the carpet.

Or

Uh, Cher?

Yeah?

Cher.

Oh yeah.

Sorry.

I'm Ben.

My son...

I lost my son to an act of violence.

He was my world, he was my whole...

I'm not ready to do this right now, okay?

I'm not, I can't.

Are you sure, dude?

Sure of what?

Like, are you sure that your son died?

Or like, that you ever even had a son?

You know, like what if you dreamed it?

You know, it's like perception is reality.

You know?

Fuck.

You.

Hey, why don't we move along?

Hi, I am Madison.

I also have a history with
the Long Island Slashening.

My dad owned a pizza place.

It was pretty successful.

It's fun, it's like a family thing.

And then one night he sent

a delivery boy out to deliver a pizza.

And the delivery boy did not come back

and dad just thought like okay,

he probably quit or something,

or like doesn't wanna work here anymore.

Whatever reason, he didn't come back.

So he sent out another delivery boy.

But then the same thing happened.

That boy didn't come back and so my dad

sent out another one and another one

until he had sent out his whole staff.

And all of them had been murdered.

And that was really hard for him.

He kind of fell into a really
deep depression after that.

It kind of ruined him.

One day I like came home
early from school and.

He angled it wrong, so it
like went through his cheek.

But him kind of like missing

made him become even more depressed.

He like went across the street
instead of down the street.

So that actually gave
me enough time to get

an ambulance to come and
save him, save his life.

But I think that really
made him hit rock bottom.

Walked in on him trying to take

all of my UTI prescription meds.

But then one day.

He hung himself?

Sort of?

Autoerotic asphyxiation had given him

a new love of life if
you believe it or not.

So he actually wasn't depressed anymore.

He had really found like
what made him happy.

- Ew.
- Ew.

Thanks, girls.

Hey, Madison right?

Yeah.

Oh cool.

Just so you know.

If you ever want to talk
about those feelings

that you were kind of getting into today

and grab a cup of
coffee, I'm totally down.

Oh, cool.

Thank you.

Yeah, no problem.

Hey, great session.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, see you.

Bye.

So not too bad, right?

No, this place is great.

Yeah, it used to be a methadone clinic

before they cleaned up the neighborhood

and now it's a place that helps people.

It wasn't easy talking
about my dad today.

Yeah.

So, hey, if you want to go grab coffee

and talk about some
more of those feelings

Fuck off!

But I'm glad I did.

Great session.

Yeah, you know, talking helps.

Without a great support
system I don't know

how I would've ever
gotten over my, you know.

Castration.

Yeah.

And losing your eye.

Also yeah.

So ladies, what are you up to later?

Do you wanna

- Fuck off!
- Fuck off!

All right, great session.

I'll see you next week.

Anyway, I feel like we're
kind of bonded in a way.

Both affected by same tragedy, you know?

Right.

Yeah, I guess we are.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

If you ever need to talk
even outside of the group,

you know, you can always give me

Pat!

I'm feeling emotional.

Comfort me now.

Oh yeah, of course.

Right away.

Hey, talk later?

Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

Great.

Thanks.

Hey.

Oh hey.

My band's playing a show
tonight if anybody wants to come.

It'd be great to see you there.

Oh, cool.

Cool.

All right.

All right.

Bye.

See you.

So what's good with your rock star?

I don't know.

He seems nice.

Very sweet.

Very sweet.

So you gonna hit up his show?

I don't know.

I mean there's so many things
going on in my head right now.

I don't know if I'm ready
for boys just right now

All of it, Madison.

All of it.

What?

All your pain, all your love.

All your fears.

Locked up in this jar.

And that jar is your heart.

You just need to find the right man

go ahead and open up that jar for you.

Oh man, I am so pumped for this show.

I'm the biggest Joe head in the world.

How many of their shows have you been to?

This is my first one.

Wow.

Prepare to be blown away.

They're starting.

Thank you.

Everybody uke!

Brought my own uke.

What?

Oh.

Go Scott!

Yes!

Hey.

Hey.

That was really great.

Aw, thank you so much for coming.

Of course.

I hope you had fun.

Yeah, I did.

Sweet.

If you want to download some
of our music it's all online.

Oh, cool.

We got a couple EPs, yeah.

Yeah, I'll definitely do that.

That sounds great.

Actually, if you're interested

I could give you a discount code.

Yeah.

Yes, yeah.

Cool.

That would be great.

Thank you.

Great.

Great.

Okay.

I should probably go.

Yeah, I gotta go too 'cause my band.

My band, it's all packed up.

Yeah, gotta get packed.

I'll see you

I'll see you at the meeting.

I'll see you at the meeting.

See ya.

Okay, see ya.

Oh no no wait!

I actually, this is a shirt of my band.

For you, yeah.

Thank you.

That's really nice.

Cool, I'll see you tomorrow, so.

Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Okay.

Bye.

Hey Scott.

Yeah.

You ready to go?

Yeah.

No, actually I forgot my uke.

You guys go ahead.

I'll catch up to you, okay?

Okay.

Oh, my lucky uke.

My uke!

There's some nights
I don't get any sleep at all.

I'm just up all night just looking

at pictures of the two of us.

I can stare at a picture
for hours, it seems like.

I just don't get tired of it.

I mean in a way I don't
even know why I do it.

I mean it's not like there's any place

I look that I don't see him.

It's weird, right?

That Scott isn't here?

'Cause he said he would be.

Maybe he just overslept.

You know how crazy that
rock and roll lifestyle is.

Okay.

Or maybe he just didn't
want to be around you.

Maybe Scott never really existed.

And is just part of our
collective dream world.

Shut up.

Okay.

Hey, it's seriously so cool of you

to come chill with me, man.

I am always asking
people to do DMT with me.

And they're always like
"Shut the fuck up, Link.

"Fuck off and die, Link.

"Hey Link, you know I have
a history of drug addiction."

"Why don't you stop asking
me to get high with you?"

And it's like, it's that
sort of uptight perspective

that needs to experience
DMT the most, you know?

And it's like DMT is
inside every living thing.

It's like sucking your own dick, man.

You know?

I mean it's a part of us.

It's just natural.

Plus people have been
doing DMT for like forever.

The Egyptians, the Aztecs, the Mongols.

Like all the chillest
civilizations throughout history.

They all did DMT.

Until, you know, the 1950s.

When the CIA.

And the FBI.

Hoo boy.

They come along and they make it illegal.

Because they know if people's
eyes are open to the truth,

they're not gonna participate in this

bullshit make believe capitalist economy.

Uh-uh.

They're not gonna buy Cadillacs.

They're not gonna wear a
tie to their corporate job.

They're not gonna pay their own rent.

No way.

Not happening.

And here's the other thing.

All of this?

It's all a dream.

All of it.

And it is only.

When we smoke this.

That we truly experience reality.

Huh.

You know, this stuff might actually

be a little weaker than
I initially thought.

'Cause I'm pretty sure I'm still dreaming.

This is no dream!

This is really happening!

My whole worldview is wrong!

So superficial!

Reality is real!

And it fucking sucks shit!

To be honest, the
Long Island Slashening,

while a very, very psychologically

traumatic event, did me some favors.

Do I miss having a penis?

No.

Because penises can't hug.

Guys, guys, group therapy announcement.

Tonight my friend is
putting on an art show

with this amazing feminist
artist who is also a woman.

And we all know how
important it is to not only

really enhance our local
art scene, but especially

for women that are doing
really strong feminist work.

So I can pretty much count on

all of you guys being there right?

Fuck no.

We have plans.

To drink.

And party.

And dance.

So fuck you.

What?

Sorry, girls.

I guess you're not feminists or whatever.

But you guys are cool?

Yeah.

All right, just mention
my name at the door.

You'll totally get in for free.

Empowering.

It's...

I want to say empowering?

Empowering.

Empowering.

It's empowering.

Empowering.

Empowering.

Empowering.

- Empowering.
- Empowering.

- Empowering, yeah.
- Empowering, yeah.

And it's weird, I've always been

kind of a supporter of women in the arts.

You know, some of my favorite artists

are people like Sophia Delacroix.

You know, that's a woman.

Anne Bennington.

Margarita Munoz.

Isabella Rosinante.

Those are all women.

And that's cool.

This is more an expression

of femininity or vulvic strength.

Which a lot of men find intimidating.

Not me, other men.

It's just so rare that we get

to let women speak, you know?

Yeah, and

And I just think that's
so important that this woman

was able to speak and express herself.

You know what I mean?

So this looks like a flower.

But it's actually a female vagina.

So what this is really is an examination

of the traditional roles of women.

But it's also a subversion of those roles.

It really speaks to the truth that is

the power of our patriarchal society.

Well this is a really nice space.

Well it used to be a Dominican church.

Back before they cleaned
the neighborhood up.

Now it's a place where
we can all peacefully

come together, congregate, and learn.

Oh hey!

Everybody, this is Dan non.

She's the one behind the show.

Hello.

Oh please, I merely
just organized the thing.

All the credit really goes
to this amazing artist.

Everyone, this is Crystal Bluu.

Wow.

Your work is amazing.

Yeah, it really is.

Very very powerful.

I can't even.

There are no words.

I just like drawing snatch.

Our Crystal here's
a bit of an outside artist.

Yeah, I was drawing snatch and like

sculpting snatch and collaging snatch

and people were like you
should sell that shit.

And I was like yeah, I should.

And honestly, it's more fulfilling

than tugging guys off at Alley Cat's.

Well I'm really glad
you found your calling.

I just love snatch.

Oh shit, this is my song!

She's a bit of a free spirit.

Is she undressing?

Probably.

She's doing burlesque.

No, I'm stripping.

Shut your mouth.

Shut up.

You know, this is really
empowering for women because

I'm a dirty slut!

Oh fuck.

Whoa, you're not leaving.

Oh my god, this is art!

I'm hard because of how
she's owning her sexuality.

It's not because of her big titties.

Well I have to assume that
it's getting pretty late.

Yeah, very late.

Yeah, I'm doing a thing in the morning.

This was great though.

So great.

To see your work.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Fuck it, I'm leaving too.

Hey, don't you guys wanna see my snatch?

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

Stop!

I hate it when you two
fight about politics.

It's so divisive.

You're right.

We're all friends here despite

our differing opinions on Palestine.

Hey, let's agree to disagree.

Friends!

Excuse me.

Ladies, closing time was 15 minutes ago

and I really need to lock up.

But we're not finished
with our wine yet.

Okay.

When you ordered it I told
you we'd be closing soon

and that you'd have to hurry up.

I'm sorry that we as
paying customers are enjoying

the beverages that we
purchased in your bar.

Yeah, sorry we're not just

sucking it down like it's malt liquor.

What the

I guess I'll just
have to write a review.

I'll write one too.

Let's all write reviews.

How do you
spell "rudest bartender ever"?

C-U-N-

Fine!

Fine.

You ladies finish your drinks.

While I go in the back
and clean up or something.

Thank you!

Some people.

Do not let her ruin our fun.

This is our night.

Our night!

Let's take it back.

Yes!

Oh my god.

No.

No, no please.

Help!

Mom!

Mom, dad!

Somebody is trying to kill me!

Now why would they do that, Bex?

For no reason at all!

Honey, we can't constantly

be handling everything
for you all the time.

At some point you need to be a grownup.

Take care of yourself.

I don't know how!

Okay baby, I'll handle this.

And there, I just transferred
$2,000 to your bank account.

Will that help?

No.

4,000?

No.

Maybe 6,000?

Maybe?

Okay, let's make it eight then.

All right look, you had...

Oh shit!

This is just terrible.

Let's take a moment to
remember Viv and Bex.

Would anyone like to share a memory?

I remember one day we went
to the park to get ice cream.

And the sunshine hit your
eye in such a beautiful way.

I'll never forget it
for as long as I live.

That is a great memory.

Although I meant a
memory about Viv and Bex.

Oh, fuck them.

They sucked and everybody hated them.

Admittedly, Viv and Bex were
difficult to get close to.

But we must have empathy for everyone.

Not just people who are nice
or polite or have some shred

of basic human decency
buried within their bodies.

I'm outraged.

Somebody saw two smart,
strong-willed women

who didn't conform to what
society deemed appropriate.

And some scared little man
decided to go and kill them.

It was a woman that killed them.

Oh, of course.

A woman who had internalized
so much misogyny

that she acted according
to the will of man.

I mean, because that's what we do.

We pit woman against woman
in order to create a chaos

if you don't shut the fuck up

I'm gonna internalize
my fist into your ass.

And not in the fun sexy way
like I would do for you, Pat.

But in the violent way where
I'd pull out your intestines

and then I'd squeeze the
shit into your mouth,

making you digest your
shit, and then take a shit

into your own mouth again in
an endless shit-eating cycle.

Because fuck you!

Okay.

I can sense that tensions
are running a bit high here,

so I went ahead and scheduled
a self-defense class

for the women and I think all the ladies

should go ahead and take it.

I think we've learned
that the neighborhood

has made some progress, but there's still

an unsavory element, so
I think this would make

everybody feel just a little bit safer.

All right all right all right all right!

Ladies and other genders,
will you gather around please?

Okay.

Now after today's lesson,
you will never again

need to fear for your safety.

Instead, you will only need to fear

for the safety of anyone
who threatens you.

Now while I have you here, I'm gonna need

you all to bow your heads and show respect

to your Grandmaster, K.M. Swartz!

Don't clap, bow.

Bow to your sensei.

Listen carefully.

If a man attacks you.

You punch him in the dick.

It's as simple as that.

And it hurts.

What if your attacker is a woman?

If your attacker is a woman.

Punch her in the twat.

I think that hurts also.

Now the meter's running in my rickshaw.

I have to depart.

Shalom.

Shalom.

No refunds.

I do mean no refunds.

You live and you learn.

I learned that you shouldn't
trust that somebody

is a self-defense expert
just because you found

their flyer on a bulletin
board in a coffee shop.

Stupid Pat.

Anyway, silver lining.

Tonight is the third annual Spoon-A-Thon.

Yeah.

In case you've been living under a rock,

the Spoon-A-Thon is a big get together

where people gather and spoon each other.

Nothing sexual.

Just a way for people to feel the comfort

and warmth of a relationship without any

of the negative aspects
of the relationship

like lust or making your partner orgasm.

Anyway, I think it's something
that we all need right now.

I hope to see you there.

I'm just so lost.

No, there's no such thing as lost.

Wherever you are is where you are.

But I'm 23.

And I don't know where I'm going.

There's only one direction you can go.

Look.

Forward.

I don't know who I am anymore.

You are you.

And that's all anyone can be.

Oh fuck this!

Fuck this!

Every time I need to take a shower

the two of you are in here talking, okay?

Use the fucking living room!

We have a couch for a reason!

We all split it!

We all pay for it!

Go sit on it!

- Fuck you!
- That was rude!

I hope every member of
your family dies today!

- This is where I feel safe!
- Today!

- I hope they pass away today!
- Everyone in your life today!

Good man, good man.

Pat!

This turnout is amazing!

It's the most we've ever had.

Yeah, this place is huge.

Yeah, it used to be a rec
center for at-risk youth.

Back before they cleaned
up the neighborhood.

And now it's just a place for people

who need something
positive in their lives.

Plus they do burlesque on Tuesdays.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey Ben.

How's it going, man?

So glad you could make it.

Look, I can't stay too long.

I think I'm a little old
for this kind of thing,

but I just wanted to come
for some moral support.

I really appreciate that.

All right, gotcha.

Hey, good to see you.

Good to see you.

Pat, you like really know
how to connect with people.

I just try to make people's
lives a little bit better.

Yeah.

Hey.

Oh shit.

My phone is about to die.

Oh, I have a charger in my bag.

Feel free.

Help yourself.

Oh, thank you so much.

Hey.

Get in here.

No, side pocket!

I can explain.

Madison no!

Madison!

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Just a misunderstanding with Madison.

Why are you so obsessed with her?

What?

I'm not.

Like anybody else, she's just
somebody I'm trying to help.

I see the way you look at her.

What?

I don't have a way that I look at her.

Why not me?

What?

Pat, I think about you all the time.

I'm the girl you should want, me!

I had no idea.

I never realized.

Well now you do.

So why not do something about it?

In case you haven't
noticed, I'm pretty tied up

with the Spoon-A-Thon right now.

They'll be fine without you.

Come on.

Uh...

Hi everyone.

Everyone, hi.

Thank you.

Come on.

Come on up.

Hi, hello, hi.

Yes.

Thank you all so much for coming out

to this year's annual Spoon-A-Thon!

This event is a great way
to make physical contact

without the grossness
and scariness of sex!

Okay, let's partner up.

Everybody gets spooning!

Yes!

Welcome.

Hi guys.

Hi.

Well?

Cher, there's something
I need to show you.

Pat?

I carry this around with me to remind me

of the day that I was attacked.

Any time I feel sad or weak
I pull it out and I say.

You hold no power over me.

I'm not afraid of you.

I control my fear.

I control it!

So that's how I'm so well-adjusted.

But now Madison saw it and now I think

that she thinks that I'm the killer.

Pat, I understand.

Now I have something I need to show you.

My rad titties.

Don't look away, Pat.

Gaze upon my hot ass knockers.

Watch them sway up and down, side to side.

Yes, I know you want them.

And I want you.

Okay.

Pat, it's time to face your fears.

Don't be scared.

Wait, are you sure
that you consent to this?

Yeah bitch!

And that's the book I want to write.

Wow, you are so fascinating.

Don't ever let any man
tell you that you aren't.

Is that your penis?

Yes.

You are so observant.

Sorry I didn't ask if it was
okay to pull my dick out.

I didn't want to make you do

the emotional labor of telling me no.

But don't worry, I'm
not going to try to do

"just the tip" or anything
that men would try to do.

Honestly, until we have a woman president,

I don't think men should be
allowed to penetrate vaginas.

Oh Pat!

Yes Pat!

Oh god yes!

Give it to me!

Did you get it?

Did I do okay?

You were wonderful.

Now it's your turn.

Oh.

Seeing you happy, that makes my heart cum.

That's good enough for me.

No Pat.

You deserve this.

It's just that since
I had my penis severed,

it might be jarring when I
take these boxer shorts off.

Oh Pat.

I love you.

I love all of you no matter what.

Okay.

You're beautiful.

How do I do this exactly?

Am I a nice guy?

What?

Like, am I a nice guy?

Yeah Pat, you're the
nicest guy I've ever met.

Tell me how nice I am.

You're so nice.

Yeah?

Really nice.

You're really nice, Pat.

Keep talking like that.

You're my nice guy.

Pat is.

You love it when I'm nice to you huh?

I love it when you're nice to me.

Yeah, you fucking needed that niceness.

I need that niceness all over me.

Oh yeah, you need that respect?

I need that respect.

Have you ever been respected
by a guy like me before?

No, never.

You're my first.

You're my first nice guy.

Yeah.

You're so nice.

Tell me how nice I am!

Really nice.

Tell me how nice!

You're super nice!

Tell me again.

Tell me I'm nice!

Oh my god.

Yeah.

That was incredible.

You're good, yeah.

Let me go get you a towel.

Okay.

I'm a little worried, we
didn't use protection though.

Whatever you decide.

Keep it, abort it.

Your body, your choice.

My testicles!

No Pat, no!

Pat!

No!

Not my Pat!

I'm just going to place my penis

between your butt cheeks.

Just kind of hotdogging it.

What was that?

Hey hey hey.

Don't be rude.

I'm trying to hear all
about your hopes and dreams.

You want to make vintage clothes

or write a book or something?

I wanna write a book
about vintage clothes.

That's so amazing and brilliant.

I fully support you.

What the fuck?

You are a queen.

A true queen.

Could you do me a favor
and not mention to anyone

that I shot a load down your ass crack?

What if I promise to do better?

Thank you.

Oh my God, Kim.

I think.

I think Pat might be a murderer.

I found a mask in his bag and it is

the exact same type that the killer wore

and I think that might be why people

have been disappearing from group.

And I am just really, really scared.

Should I go to the police?

I don't know.

Kim, what do you think?

Kim?

Kim!

Kim, no stop!

Kim please!

Pat, why are you doing this?

Oh what the shit.

Guys, I gotta get ready to
work a night shift, okay?

While apparently none of you have jobs.

Everyone.

Let's give Madison a warm welcome.

Hi Madison!

We're so happy you could be here.

What's happening?

Ben?

Why?

My son Jared.

He was such a good kid.

He was paying his way
through community college.

Working nights.

Delivering pizza.

And then one night he went on a delivery.

And he never came back.

And he wasn't the only one.

My brother.

My stepson.

My fiance.

My best friend.

The father of two of my children.

My bunkmate from boot camp!

The news reports went on
and on about the tragedy.

That was the deaths of those
poor little rich girls.

But when it came to the
people that we cared about?

That we loved?

Well they turn their deaths into a joke.

I literally heard police
officers saying things like.

"Hey, how many delivery boys does it take

"to deliver a pizza to a murder house?

"How many, I don't know!"

"Apparently it's more than 20!"

Hurtful, hurtful things.

I do think a lot of it is
in the delivery of the joke.

If it's

Shut up!

There's some things you don't joke about!

I joined that therapy group.

To kill Pat.

So imagine my surprise.

When he led us to you.

So if we can't get back
at Papa Santangeli?

Murdering you.

Well that's the next best thing.

Okay, but then why did you kill

all the other people from the group?

They were innocent.

They didn't do anything.

Why?

Because I am tired of listening

to 20-something narcissists go on and on

about the trials and tribulations

of trying to make it in the big city!

You're not the protagonist
of this story, Madison.

We are.

And you know what?

For once, it's the stories
of the working class

that are gonna be told.

Our dad died a few years ago.

He had to work three jobs
to help mom pay the bills.

It was just a temporary gig
while he learned to code.

He was delivering pizzas to help us

save up for an above ground pool.

We were gonna open up a vape shop.

With him dead, and my other ex

getting sent to prison for check fraud,

nearly 60% of my kids are
being raised fatherless!

We got matching tattoos
back in the Corps.

When we'd put our shoulders together,

it would read "semper fidelis".

Without him, I just got
a tattoo that reads per.

And delis.

Health insurance doesn't
cover laser tattoo surgery.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

It's so sad.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Madison.

It's time for you to meet
your friends in Hell.

Where's my claw?

Guys.

Come on, is no one paying
attention to my claw?

Oh, thank you.

Punch them in the dick.

Start!

Holy shit.

My twat.

Start!

No.

Come on.

Per.

Delis.

The people will rise up.

Our voices will be heard.

I'm so sorry.

But nobody wants to see
stories about poor people.

Speed!

All right, ready?

And action.

Anyway, I think it's something

that we all need right now, so.

Pat, turn and look at Madonna.

Drip it, drip drip.

She's seducing ya.

All right, everybody ready?

And cut.

Oh, so we're doing it?

Yeah.

Oh.

And don't forget the twat.

Wait, no.

I!

Still!

Live!