All language subtitles for Resident Alien_S01E05_Love Language.English (CC)

[Asta] Previously on Resident Alien…

[Harry] Jay at the clinic.
That's Asta's daughter.

That's a big secret,
it'll hurt a lot of people.

Let go!

-[wood splinters]
-[grunting]

[Asta] I thought she'd be better off,
what if she's not?

Stop! He's not worth it.

[gasps]

What if she's supposed to be with me?

-[Harry] They found a body?
-[D'Arcy] Just a foot.

There's a dead body out there.
No rest till we find it.

[suspenseful music playing]

My son Max told me you're an alien.

Frankly, he is driving me crazy.

I believe you. I've got a plan.

Hello?

-Check this out.
-[Max] No!

How did you get in here?

I have a key.

I am still your wife.

[twangy rock music playing]

Harry used the tissue samples
to track back the infection

to the coating on the patient's
artificial aortic valve.

-It was amazing work, Harry.
-[Harry] Thank you.

I'm great with the heart
as long as it's not my own.

[all chuckle]

[indistinct chatter]

Ah, excuse me.

[woman] Yes, of course.

Hi, can you help me? I'm sorry.

What do you think this painting is saying?

Um, I'd rather try not
to think about it, actually.

But I'd say…

makes me feel a bit upside-down.

Upside-down.

What's it make you feel?

-I don't know.
-[chuckles]

-But I love the mystery.
-Mm.

Right. It's very interesting.

You ought to share that
interpretation with the artist.

Ah.

Oh. That's me.

Hi, I'm Isabelle.

-You're the artist?
-I'm the artist. [laughs]

-But I thought you were the waitress.
-I'm undercover.

[laughs] I'll be the waitress.
Who will you be?

Uh, I am the divorced doctor
who is also undercover.

I'm an art afficionado.

Ah.

As an art afficionado,
what do you say about this?

I love this painting.

Thank you.

I'm Harry Vanderspeigle.

You're Harry Vander-- What's it--

-[laughs] Speigle, yes. Yes.
-Speigle.

Mm. Unfortunately,
some bastard has outbid you.

A bastard outbid me?

-Indeed.
-Bastard.

-[laughs]
-Gotta fix that.

Hold on.

$10,000.

I mean, it's for a good cause.

Right. Indeed.

I'm not letting this get away.

I want to solve this mystery.

[Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy" playing]

[inaudible]

♪ There was a boy ♪

♪ A very strange, enchanted boy ♪

♪ They say he wandered very far ♪

♪ Very far ♪

♪ Over land and sea ♪

[romantic music playing]

[theme music playing]

[Alien Harry] Humans have
a strange practice

they call "the art of bullshitting,"

and that little bastard Max
is Michelangelo.

I hate that kid.

You want to pretend to be my friend
to steal my keys and break into my cabin?

Fine with me.

Nice knowing you, "friend."

[groans]

-[indistinct voices]
-Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello?! H--

-Max!
-[Ben sighs]

Oh, thank God, you were in here.

-[sighs]
-You didn't check the closet?

For our sleeping son?
No, I didn't check the closet.

Or the sock drawers.

He camps out in here sometimes.

Oh, you must have fallen asleep.

-Come here.
-Yeah.

I…must have fallen asleep.

[tense music playing]

No!

[doorbell rings]

All right, I need to know the boy's
blood type, and I need a hair sample.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Deputy, go dust his room for prints.

Now, tell me, when was the last time
you saw the boy alive?

Well, so, funny story about Max.

Um…

He was in the closet.

Are you kidding me?

Shit, I scraped ice
off the truck for this?

Actually, I scraped the ice.

We're really sorry to drag you here.

I warmed up the car
while he finished his coffee.

You might want to tie a rope
around your boy so you don't lose him.

I caught him riding his bike
way out on Route 16 today.

What? Max, is that true?

You know you're not allowed
that far from home.

You are grounded for a year.

-Honey.
-A day?

You can't ground me!
I had a good reason!

Hmm. This should be something.

Hey, if my son says he has a good reason,

he had a good reason. Go ahead, Max.

Thank you, Mother.

I had to break in
to Dr. Vanderspeigle's house

-while he was at work.
-Wait, what?

Apology accepted.

What type of criminal mastermind
are y'all raising, huh?

I found proof that he's an alien!

Oh, really? What kind of proof?

Like, uh, flying orbs or a loss of, uh…

uh…time…

He has alien technology in his basement!

Max, you have to stop lying.

I'm not lying! Sahar was there!

She saw everything!

I don't remember seeing anything.

What?

I remember riding bikes, but…

I don't remember going
to the doctor's cabin.

[solemn music playing]

I'm sorry, Max.

[soft jazz music playing on radio]

You're still here.

You can't wear that.

That is a man's shirt!

I flew across the country to talk to you,
and you left and drove away.

Where did you go?

To get milk.

So where's the milk?

I drank it.

[Alien Harry] She's scanning me.

Good thing I didn't murder those kids.

There'd be blood all over my pants.
Then I'd have to murder her.

Yes. I made the right choice.

I'm very good at this.

What's different about you?

-I shaved my mustache.
-You didn't have a mustache.

I grew it, and then I shaved it.

Before I drank the milk.

Are you high?

Yes.

I am high on the skunk's…weed.

I'm very cross with you.

You sound like James Bond.

[imitating accent] Very cross with you.

I'm very cross with you.

I was ready to sign the divorce papers,

and then you stonewalled
the lawyers for months.

Phone calls, emails, texts,
all unanswered.

I don't know if you saw any of them.

This has been absolute emotional torture.

If you're ready to have a divorce,
just sign the papers!

Thank you.

Um…

wow, that was so easy for you.

There's a motel at Exit 42.

And there's an asshole in the living room.

[somber music playing]

I thought we could at least
talk about this like humans.

That's where I sleep.

Ah-- Mmm.

[mischievous music playing]

[Alien Harry] What's happening here?

She agreed to end the relationship,
I've got it in writing.

Don't move, don't make a sound.

Just play dead, and maybe she'll let go.

Actually, this isn't bad.

She's warm, like a giant ham.

Maybe I can sleep after all.

[Isabelle snoring]

Shit.

[suspenseful music playing]

Morning, love.

What time is it? The alarm…

Oh, I turned it off.

I thought we could use the rest.
[chuckles]

-I have to go.
-What? When are we gonna talk?

We just did.

Now I have to go to my job.

Since when have you
have a job in Patience?

The town doctor was murdered.

Now I am the town doctor
because I am alive.

You've abandoned your practice back home,

and now you're in Colorado
playing Dr. Fix-It?

They just call me Dr. Vanderspeigle.

Goodbye.

Before you go home, take out the trash.

I recycle.

[door opens, closes]

[Alien Harry] I am angry.

I was supposed to be up early
on the mountain to search for my device.

That woman is a distraction.

Why do these creatures choose
to spend their lives with someone else?

It's bad enough they're already tethered
to each other through family.

My people do family the right way.

We don't care if they live or die.

Take one white one
and one red one with your eggs.

Is that what they call
these yellow things?

Looks like Big Bird exploded
on this plate.

[chuckles]

Wasn't for you, we'd be eating
those half-smoke sausages at Bee-Bee's.

Yeah, I know, it's not exactly D.C., but…

the mountain air out here is good for you.

Oh, is that what we're going with?

Is that why we're here?

Yeah, blame moving out here on me.

Just like you blame me
for everything else.

Probably my fault Sam got killed too.

You crack that one yet, Mikey?

I didn't think so.

Looks like Sam chose
the wrong town to die in.

[clattering]

Shit!

What's wrong with you?

And these people trust you with a gun.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Can you just take your pills, please?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[sighs]

[clattering, thumping]

-Harry!
-Huh?

What's going on?
Chasing a raccoon in there?

I'm fine.

[grunts]

There is no racoon.
I'm just putting on my pants.

Oh, shit.

Are you living in your truck?

Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I--

I sleep at The 59, like,
three nights a week, so I get it.

I'm not living in my truck.

Oh, I…

I do sleep at The 59.

Is that coffee for me?

This coffee that I have
not offered to you?

-Mm-hmm.
-No.

Oh.

Anyway, glad I ran into you because, um…

you know, we had fun, and we kissed,

which was… interesting.

But I-- I kinda think
we shouldn't drag this whole

"will they won't they" thing out
more than we need to.

I don't want to date you anymore.

[groans]

Can I just have a sip?

-It will help me move my bowels.
-Okay.

No, I can see that you're hurting,
and I get it.

We can be friends, I just-- It's just--

You're just not my type.

So your type is not the smartest
and the best person in the world.

See, there it is.

Uh, I think it's just your ego.

It's…

I don't know how to describe it.

So you're not very smart?

Um…

What the fuck did you just say to me?

[Alien Harry] Oh, no. Human men
must not say mean things to women.

If I don't apologize,
she'll know I'm an alien.

That was mean.

I should not have said that.

Yeah.

I am a man, a human man,
and you are smart…

relative to… our species.

Goodbye.

Asshole!

Hmm.

[suspenseful music playing]

[footsteps descending]

You lying, cheating bastard.

[suspenseful music playing]

Oh, hello, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
I'm surprised you're still here.

Mayor Hawthorne
hasn't found my replacement yet

because he's bad at his job.

Well, these are Sam's
private medical files.

I thought you might want them.

No.

But okay.

You know, since I'm here,

can I ask if you've finished
Sam's autopsy report?

I can't until I get the toxicology results
back from the lab in Denver.

So sad to find out he committed suicide.

Because if he was murdered,
it would not be so sad.

Well, if he committed suicide,

his insurance claim
would be null and void.

So I'm counting on you, Doctor,
to do the right thing.

You know, you could use a haircut.

Why don't you come down to the salon?

I'll cut it for you.

I cut my own hair.

[chuckles] I see that.

What was that about?

She's pro-murder.

And she wanted you to take this box

to where the other dead people boxes go.

Okay then.

Mrs. Hodges brought this.
I don't know where to put it.

Also, my mom wanted to thank you
for helping me out the other night,

and she wants to make you dinner.

Oh. Wow.

That's nice. She doesn't have to do that.

Um…we can talk about that.

So I'm gonna take this box.

[suspenseful music playing]

I have a problem.

So do I. That box keeps following me.

I messed up.

I never should've brought Jay here.

She's just so innocent.

Walking around, not knowing the truth.

Tell her you're her mother.

I gave her up.

I can't just drag her back
now that it suits me.

She has a life and a family.

You know, knowing the truth
should be on her terms

when she's ready.

Jay should not be here.

[Alien Harry] This is interesting.

She's willing to send Jay away
because she loves her,

not because she hates her.

Fire her.

No.

I can't do that.

Can I?

Although…

her class is almost over.

I could make sure she gets a good grade.

Harry.

Harry.

Whose scarf is this?

Girl up front? This woman?

Excuse me. "This woman"?

Harry, tell your girlfriend
this is a doctor's office,

and she cannot barge into an exam room.

I'm not his girlfriend.

I'm his wife.

His… wife?

[laughs]

Harry here told me you were dead.

[laughs] Oh!

[laughs nervously]

Do I look dead to you, Harry?

Would a dead person do this?

Or that?

Ooh, I'm so sorry. All right, then.

Ooh, and this must be a ghost.

You're dead too. This one too.

Dead!

Wow, sorry. Um, right.

You're a monster.

I-- I-- I'm going back to New York.

I-- I can't.

"Munster" is a cheese, right?

[laughs incredulously]

Can I have a glass
of your driest white, please?

Eee…

we've been using the same box of wine
as a stepladder since Halloween, so…

Uh, whiskey. That's your best bet.

Oh, dear.

And you're in luck.

Still in time for the breakfast special,
if you want an egg in it.

I am going through a divorce,

but I'm not quite at
"egg in my whiskey" phase yet.

Divorce. That's rough. I hear ya.

You're divorced?

Oh, no. Not yet, anyway.

You know. Some day.

-Oh. [laughs]
-Yeah.

Still kinda working
on that pre-divorce part.

Don't bother.

Ah, God. How do people…

Ooh. Wow.

Really sneaks up on you.

Yeah. It's like a stroke.

I just don't understand
how people can change so much.

He used to be so alive and present,

and now he's, like, blunt.

-I know blunt guys.
-Mm.

Yeah, the guy I'm dating,

he's so direct, you know,
which is refreshing.

-It's kind of hot, but…
-Mm.

Sometimes, it's… it's really brutal.

Exactly. God, they're all the same.

Probably dating the same guy.

Maybe there's two of them.

[laughing] Can you imagine?

[phone rings]

[gasps]

I'm sorry, I thought you were my wife.

Max has something
he would like to tell you.

Go ahead, Max.

I stole your keys and made a copy of them
to sneak into your cabin.

What?

I am horrified at this accusation!

Oh, no, he didn't accuse you of anyth--

I don't accept your apology!

Well, he hasn't apologized yet.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Max. Go on.

I'm sorry.

Good.

Now, I do not accept your apology!

Well, you-- you have to accept it.

Why?

Those are the rules.

Well, he's not really sorry,
so I'm not accepting it.

Dr. Vanderspeigle is right. Max…

say it like you mean it.

But I don't mean it!

Your act doesn't fool me, alien.

I know you found us in your basement
and somehow snuck us home.

I'm feeling attacked. I am snowflaking.

Max, that's-- That's enough.

Do you see what we're dealing with,
Dr. Vanderspeigle? It--

It just won't let up.

I have an idea.

[Alien Harry] They obviously
love this kid.

I'm not sure why.

He's a menace.

I learned a lesson from Asta about love.

It can be used as a weapon.

Okay, Max.

I'm going to give you a simple test.

Which one of these people… is me?

You know I can't tell by this.

If there was a picture of a gross alien
or a dumb slug, I'd point to it.

-Hurtful.
-Max.

Please stop fooling around.
This is serious.

Fine.

-This one!
-No!

Enough games, buddy. That's Russell Crowe.

No, that's Sam Neill.

No, the Australian guy
from the genius movie with the math.

-No, I promise you, it's not--
-Hey!

Snap out of it!

Max got it wrong.

[sighs] Sweetie.

Who is this?

-Don't you recognize him?
-No!

I've never seen that man before
in my entire life.

Hmm, I forgive you
for breaking into my house, Max.

I forgive you because
you are a sick little boy.

And she's right. It's Sam Neill!

From the Jurassic era
dinosaur documentary!

-I--
-He's lying!

He's setting me up! He's tricking you!

-Hey--
-He's not even a real doctor!

-Max.
-Well, this has been fun.

I'm just gonna go
jump out a window real quick.

Max.

[sighs] It's worse than I thought.

He obviously suffers
from a severe case of teraphobia.

Teraphobia?

Seeing monsters and other scary things.

If you worry about one thing,
it should be that.

Also…

He might suffer from face blindness.

And anxiety.

And looking at your skull…

he's probably gonna have
a receding hairline.

This is horrible.

Yes, if teraphobia is untreated,
Max can have severe issues,

and going through life
without hair is no fun.

But there is a special school

for kids like Max.

In Georgia.

-Georgia?
-Mm.

[inquisitive music playing]

We just need a smoking gun.

We ain't got no smoke.
Hell, we ain't even got a gun.

[whirring]

I interviewed every possible witness.

I examined all the evidence. I--

Are you shitting me right now?

Are you playing with a yoyo?

Sorry, sir. It, uh, it calms me.

Well, I need to be calm. Give me this.

Ow.

Got no viable suspects.

We got no motive. We got nothing!

Hell, we don't even know for sure
he was even murdered!

[yoyo whirring]

[yoyo clatters]

Great, you broke it.

Sir, Sam doesn't seem the suicide type.

I think he was murdered,
and I really do think

it's related to the foot in the lake.

You know what? Screw that foot.

For all we know, that thing
floated downriver from up north.

There's probably some one-footed
sumbitch up in Gunnison,

hopping around,
laughing at our asses right now.

Mm. I don't think he laughs much.

I was so happy when I thought
we had a serial killer.

It felt good.

I mean, look at these streets!

They're not mean! They're beautiful!

You know how many violent crimes
Colorado Springs had last year? Hmm?

Over 500.

500! Lucky bastards.

Cheer up, sir. Tomorrow's bingo night.

Maybe Mrs. Labelle will
sucker-punch the priest again.

Yeah, she is crazier than zucchini cake.

Yeah.

Actually, she is mad.

Okay. Still shouldn't
put vegetables in cake.

It's wrong.

-We're smart, attractive…
-Yes. Mm!

Independent women.

We don't need some guy
to determine our future.

We are strong!

We're strong. And we're fearless!

You are fearless!

[sighs] Damn right.

So about this guy.

I think you broke up with him
because you were afraid of getting hurt.

Mm. You think so?

I thought it's 'cause he kissed
like a horse eating ice cream.

[laughing]

I'm so sorry.

Any real man…

-would be in love with you.
-Yeah.

Take it from an artist.

Without risk, there's nothing.

Yeah.

Real women don't run away.

-That's right.
-Mm!

-We don't run away.
-Mm!

Because we're strong
because we support each other.

Right.

Have you seen Danny?

Day Drunk Danny that fixes
the karaoke machines?

Jesus, Judy.

You're just jealous I got a guy
who can work in tight spaces.

Like you have any.

Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

The whole town knows, Judy!

[laughs]

I know.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Pretty.

Hmm.

-[Judy] You guys!
-To women supporting women.

Yes.

Hey, Jay.

Thanks for picking up the files.

I know you like it here,
and it's really been great having you.

Um, we're just…

we're not as busy as we were
a couple months ago.

Are you listening to me?

This paper says you had a baby.

And your baby was born
on my exact birthday.

[somber music playing]

It's fine.

It's not like I didn't know I was adopted.

[Asta] I…

it's…

It's complicated.

Yeah.

Seems simple.

You gave me away and then lied to me.

Wait… if you're "Mommy,"

who's "Daddy"?

It's not that dick Jimmy, is it?

Wow.

I really won the lottery
with that one, didn't I?

No wonder you gave me away.

-I'm so sorry--
-[Jay] Don't!

I was going to fire her.

[Harry] Are you waiting for a bus?

[Asta] I like the cold. It helps me think.

Buddhist monks believe that suffering
comes from the thinking mind.

They can also train their minds
not to feel pain.

One of them lit himself on fire.

I think that one felt pain.

Trying to make me feel better

after tearing the heart out
of a 17-year-old girl?

You didn't tear her heart out.

You just lied to her
and pretended to be her friend.

You want to talk about lying?

What kind of person lies
about their wife being dead?

Humans lie.

It's what they do.

Why?

Maybe they don't want people to know
who they really are.

Hmm.

-I told you I'd meet you at the diner.
-Nice to see you too.

Harry Vanderspeigle.
I think we met briefly.

Are you fuckin' with me, man?

No, of course not.

[Alien Harry] Chicken-ass bitch!

Okay. Let's go.

Let's go!

[edgy music playing]

[chuckles]

Don't. That is not why I texted you.

[chuckles]

You always say that.

I need you to listen.

This is hard. It's about the baby.

She found out who we are.

Whoa.

How did she find you?

It's Jay.

The girl with the attitude
that answers the phone?

Yeah. She's our daughter.
And yes, I knew that when I hired her.

Jesus, Asta. That is messed up.

[sighs]

What the hell is he doing here?
Is he your new boyfriend or something?

-No!
-No.

I'm just here, eating cake.

-You're her bodyguard now?
-Harry.

-I prefer "ninja."
-Harry.

You don't have to do this.
Just ignore him.

You shouldn't ignore ninjas.

Don't pay any attention to him.

He's reading books about monks and ninjas.

How long have you known?

Always.

Since you talked me
into giving up my own baby.

Damn it, Asta!

You weren't ready, either!

Are you serious?

I'm only telling you so that
you'll hear it from me first.

If Jay comes to find you,

don't flip out. You're the last
person she needs in her life.

Oh, okay. You always
make me out to be the psycho.

You know what?

Doing what you did,
that shit ain't normal.

You really wanted to protect her,

you should've stayed the hell
out of her life.

[doorbell jingles]

It's better that she knows.

This isn't your problem.
You shouldn't have to deal with it.

You're too young to remember…

But that night, when I realized
your mother wasn't coming back,

I tucked you in extra tight,
and I made a promise to you

that I'd never leave you
to do this life alone.

How could I leave her?

Well, you didn't know any better.

But I promise you, she has a family
that loves her as if she was their own.

Where did Harry go?

[Harry clears throat]

Ninja.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Alien Harry] Why is she still here?

How am I supposed to get into my underwear

and watch Jerry Orbach
with that hot ham in my house?

[sultry music playing on stereo]

You said you were going away forever.

I'm afraid I didn't
handle things very well today.

I'd really love to make it up to you.

Hope you're hungry.

Where did you get these steaks?

They were in the freezer downstairs.

That's impossible, because the door is…

[shrieking] …open!

You freak, I don't know why
you locked everything like that.

We don't have to do that here.

I had to break the lock of the icebox
just to get the steaks.

Gotta get some frozen peas.

I'll get them.

You're lovely.

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunts]

[romantic music playing on stereo]

Mmm.

You're so quiet. What are you thinking?

[Alien Harry] If you'd fit in
the freezer with the other guy.

So many things.

You're so different.

You haven't been yourself
since I got here.

I am myself.

I've always been myself.

A man…

and nothing else.

See, that's what I'm talking about.

I know what's going on with you.

You're afraid.

[Alien Harry] I'll go with that.

I'm scared too.

Men showed up at the apartment
and said they needed to talk to you.

Look, I don't care what trouble you're in.

Whatever's going on with you,

I'll be there with you, no matter what.

All right, D'Arce.

You want to put yourself out there?

Let's do this.

Come on, you beast. Let's have a dance.

[romantic music playing on stereo]

♪ If you're going home one evening ♪

♪ And you run into… ♪

[liquor sloshing]

[giggles]

[sighs] Shit.

That was a waste of deodorant.

Well, dinner's over.

Mm.

What next?

I can only think of one thing.

Hmm?

Scrub the pans before you leave.

♪ There was a boy ♪

♪ A very strange ♪

♪ Enchanted boy ♪

♪ They say he wandered very far ♪

♪ Very far ♪

♪ Over land and sea ♪

♪ And then one day ♪

♪ One magic day, he passed my way ♪

♪ And while we spoke of many things ♪

♪ Fools and kings ♪

♪ This he said to me ♪

♪ The greatest thing you'll ever learn ♪

♪ Is to love ♪

♪ And be loved ♪

♪ Just to love ♪

♪ And be ♪

♪ Loved ♪

Oh.

[slow romantic music playing]

Mm.

[Ben] You wanna send him to Georgia?

[Kate] Of course
I don't want to send him away.

But we have a broken child.

[Ben sighs]

[Kate] Scarier than being away from him

is him getting worse
if we don't do something.

But maybe he'll outgrow it on his own.

Like the lisp or the thumb sucking.

-No.
-I just-- I think--

-I think we should give it more time.
-This is different.

This place is equipped to help him
in ways that we can't.

Be honest.

Does Max seem like a normal
little boy to you?

No, I-- I guess not.

[somber music playing]

[Kate] Am I losing my hair?

[Ben] What? No. What?

[Kate] Doesn't it feel like it's…
gone back a little bit?

[Ben] No.

[over walkie-talkie]
Max for Sahar. Do you read me?

-Sahar here, over.
-[walkie-talkie chirps]

I know you don't believe me
about the alien.

My parents are sending me away. Over.

All I said was that I didn't remember.

Of course I still believe you.

And nobody's sending you away.

-I have an idea. Over.
-[walkie-talkie chirps]

[mischievous music playing]

[in French accent]
There's no need to be frightened.

[laughs]

I'll take care of you.

Tell Babette where it hurts.

I don't know who Babette is--

-[moans]
-[chuckles]

Ooh, that feels good. [laughs, moans]

♪ I like it like that ♪

[moaning]

♪ You got me yearning,
Burning with desire ♪

-[grunting]
-[laughing]

♪ You drive me wild ♪

God, you're handsome.

-So are you.
-[laughs]

♪ Have mercy, Mr. Percy ♪

♪ Now, cut that out ♪

[Harry moans]

I don't know what we're doing.

We're reconnecting.

Oh-- Oh.

[moaning]

♪ Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha ♪

Oh-ho!

[rasping cries]

♪ I like it like that ♪

[lively jazz music playing]

-♪ Cha! ♪
-♪ I like it like that ♪

♪ Cha, cha-cha-cha, cha ♪

♪ I like it, I like it ♪

[birds chirping]

[sighs] I knew you still loved me.

Didn't have the heart to take it down.

[serene music playing]

We're gonna be together forever.

[indistinct chatter]

[doorbell jingles]

I thought you'd be in Georgia by now,
getting probed.

Humans don't probe.
Only stupid aliens do that.

My people don't.

It's the Greys that have the ass fetish.

That's adult language,
and we don't appreciate it.

-What are you doing here?
-You shouldn't be surprised to see me.

Touching your floating apple
may have knocked out my memory,

but it didn't kill me.

Maybe next time.

There won't be a next time.

Hold on, Max. The adults are talking.

Max isn't going to that institute.

I once held my breath for two minutes
just to get out of a Sufi prayer circle.

I'll teach him.

I bet he'll hold his breath for an hour
to get out of Georgia.

Good. Then he'll be dead.

I'll find his tombstone and spit on it.

You won't be able to.

Because he's going to be cremated

and have the ashes sprinkled
into the ocean.

Fine, then I'll spit on it,
and it'll hit your dead DNA.

No, it won't. Because I tricked you.

He didn't really have his ashes
put into the ocean.

I snuck them into your pocket.

So when you were spitting into the ocean,

he was in your pocket
laughing at you the whole time.

Your spit will never get near him.

We win again.

Ha-ha! I got you.

[chuckles]

I don't think what I just did was…

normal human behavior.

Oh. Are we driving you crazy?

Get used to it.

We're both holding our breath
until you promise to leave him alone.

When we pass out,
they'll think you did it.

[both inhale]

Good. It'll be quieter.

Great. More air for me.

[exaggerated breathing]

Thank you. I'll have some more.

[exaggerated breathing]

You look silly.

Look, I mean-- How long is this?

Okay.

Okay, stop!

[gasping]

[Sahar coughs]

What do you want?

A truce.

You tell my parents I'm not crazy
so I can stay home,

and I'll stop telling everyone
you're an alien.

What about killing him?
Can I still kill him?

No!

That's pretty much implied
in the word "truce."

[grunts]

Go ahead.

Shake on it.

Fine.

Any questions, Max?

Yeah. Why can I see you?

Are you familiar with
multi-dimensional space travel?

Very.

Some humans are more tuned
to the frequencies of other dimensions,

so they can see beyond
my molecular reconstruction.

Like that was blue and black
but some people saw it as white and gold?

-[both] It wasn't white and gold?
-No!

-Whoa.
-Wow.

I have a question.

Why do humans fold pizza when they eat it?

Basic engineering.
It's too floppy when it's flat.

Ah.

What are the Nazca Lines?

Ancient alien graffiti.

Do aliens poop?

Everybody poops.

[both laugh]

Just like the book. I knew it.

[Alien Harry] When I first discovered
that Max knew who I really was,

I hated him for it.

[sentimental music playing]

Maybe I did not actually hate him.

I just hated how he made me feel inside.

I felt exposed.

Vulnerable.

In a way, I hated myself.

♪ I've been thinking about the news ♪

♪ Daddy leaves it on all day through ♪

♪ I've been thinking about the wars ♪

♪ And to be honest I can't take anymore ♪

♪ I hear you every day ♪

♪ The awful words you say ♪

♪ But hate can't be ♪

♪ The face of the American Dream ♪

[Alien harry] But after talking
to those kids for just ten minutes,

I could feel my hatred going away.

Maybe there's something out
there stronger than hate.

Hungry?

I've only got enough for coffee.

Well, that's okay. Family don't pay.

In that case, I'll get two burgers.

One for here and one to go.
And a slice of pie.

Sheriff?

Sam's toxicology results are in.

Botulinum toxin A levels
are through the roof.

Sam was poisoned.

Holy shit sticks!
We got ourselves a murder!

[laughing]

[clears throat]

-Deputy.
-Yeah. Sheriff.

-All right. Get on it.
-Okay. Enjoy breakfast.

-All right, thank you, ma'am.
-[Liv] Okay.

[Isabelle snoring]

[Alien Harry] I feel many emotions
about this one.

I feel close to her.

♪ And I been thinkin' about our mother ♪

Yet sometimes, I want to be far away.

♪ How they took her away from her people ♪

[snoring stops]

♪ Put her in a boarding school ♪

♪ Away from her
Brother, sister, and culture ♪

[snoring resumes]

♪ I can hear her every night ♪

[Alien Harry] I don't hate her.

I just… need… sleep.

♪ 'Cause hate can't be ♪

♪ The face of the American Dream ♪

[Alien Harry] I guess
she can live another day.

♪ And change is a choice ♪

♪ And it can start with you ♪

[theme music playing]