All language subtitles for Drive-Away Dolls 2024

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You're free Wednesday.

Listen, it's not even a word.

Not really.

Okay, sure.

Free for dinner Wednesday?

There's a new place near me, Montana's.

It's very good.

Yeah, the food is trendy,
but it's super gourmet.

No, I have an engagement Wednesday.

Okay, huh.

Wednesday too.

People don't really call them engagements.

Do I tell you how to speak?

Yes.

The fact remains.

The engagement? That's right.

Huh?

Oh, oh my God!

Jesus, Mary Ann, don't call me nerd sex.

Yes, I am going tonight.

Very sex.

Hi, Sukey.

Who?

Here? Yes, there.

Oh, no one's here babe.

I was just masturbating.

Uh-huh.

Me-me time.

Let me turn the video down.

No.

What?

No.

No what, Carla?

You're not wearing that.

I just came from work.
I came from Toledo. I don't dress like it.

Is Jamie here?

Okay, like, keep the coat on,
take the shirt off underneath.

And pull out my breasts.

I'm not here to puddle my breasts.

Why else would you
leave? To socialize.

Oh, girls!

All I'm here lately is Y2K.

Y2K!

But Jamie does a
nine-shot competition of $19.

99 here at Sugar and Spice.

And Jamie is the last one
to put herself in for himself.

So, firstly... You.

It's okay.

Don't put that woman in front
of a crowd like a microphone.

She likes to entertain.

She gets this reinforcement.

Do you know when she's fucking?

I don't know that she's seeing anyone.

She's seeing you, of course.

She's a free spirit. I admire her.

Freak.

It's not fair to see you.

I've had it with love.

I know bars and troubadours are high on it,

but I don't believe
it's relevant to the

modern 20 and soon-to-be
21st century lesbian.

Just here, it's with a piece of blood.

Just right here is when he gets ya.

Mm-hmm.

I've got your plan, my friend.

Gilphum helped me move
my shit out of Sydney tomorrow.

I'm not getting a middle of that.
I have my own problems.

What problems? Internal.

Yes. I don't know how else to put it.

Problems with what they feel internally.

How can you have internal problems?

You know, giraffe-hole broke dope.

I'm not certain, honey-darling, that you
have ever reached deep inside any orifice

to scoop out your soul

and fling it shamelessly
in a fellow human being

and humiliate yourself

and grubble and weep and feel your ego

completely disintegrate,
otherwise known as the Gloria of...

Please tell me about the key.

Now, my plan is...

You come help me back, and then...

I can't even believe you tell.

What? I am too. That was my plan.

Where are you going?

Tallahassee, Florida.

Why would anybody go
to Tallahassee, Florida?

They had Ella's sleep, Sarah.

Can't shame them.

Tallahassee is very nice.

It's not glitzy and gross like Miami.

It has live oak and Spanish moss.

Me and Aunt Ella's go to the St.
Mark's Wildlife Preserve.

There's good birding.

Birding?

How have I missed out on this?

It's very pleasant.

So you just came up with
this wild hair in your ass to burr.

I've been happy, and I'm
starting to snap at people at work,

and it's not fair to them.

I'm only impatient with myself.

Well, we can fix that.

We'll have you run around in no time.

That's why we take this
trip together, honey-babe.

We get our shit together, together.

See, I was going to take
some time off, get a drive away,

just go pop up anywhere.

Now, you can come with me, and
we can go to Tallahassee and burr.

Subtitle made by Master_Blaster for https://subscene.com/

Ooh!

Yeah!

What's a drive away?

Pretty well away, Riddle.

You'd live in the car to wherever someone
find that a drive away company wants it

if they got one going
near your destination.

I don't know what you'll like, NLS.

Are you kidding? A birder?

I don't wear my great big old straw hat,

and she is going to L-O-V-E. Love me.

You know how parents and social love me.

I think I got charisma.

Oh, Marianne, who's your lo-facious friend?

I just love that chatty little girl,
isn't she something? I'm not sure.

I find no problem here.

This is going to be F-U-N-N fun, girl.

Just come help me move
my stuff out of the cookie store.

Don't worry, she's not
even going to be there.

Oh, God, Jesus! Oh, God!

Don't! What are you doing?

I don't want it anymore!

Who essentially would it be?

Suki, I'm just taking my own stuff.

That was a gift. I wanted you to have it.

I don't want it, and we're
not going to both use it.

Suki, it's your little dildo.

Oh, no, no, Noah.

Take that one still. I never liked her.

She won't stop working!

How can I take the dog, Suki?
I don't have a home.

Remember? You kicked me out.

Take out and take the whole house out.

It's your door, Noah, Susanna.

Curly's Drive-Away, Pennsylvania's
most trusted name in car delivery.

Curly speaking.

Okay, it's going to Tallahassee.

Uh-huh. Tallahassee, Florida.

Yeah, you have something
to write this down.

Yes, I'm writing it down.

Right.

Tallahassee.

Sorry.

Right, got it.

Get in your bus.

We'll be there by the end of day tomorrow.

By tomorrow? No later.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Over and out.

Can you help us? We need a drive-away.

Two hundred and fifty
dollars deposit in the reference.

Revers.

It's what it'll look like
when he breaks his balls.

Don't show up when you're supposed to.

His balls.

Can the reference be a woman?

We don't know a woman.

Okay.

What do you want to know?

Tallahassee? Tallahassee.

What's wrong with Tallahassee?
It's very nice.

There's Spanish law saying live over here.

Don't call me Curly.

And your name, huh?

My name is Curly.
We just met. It's too familiar.

Have you ever been to Tallahassee?

No, I've got good sense.

Your car is a Dodge Airy's.

Oh.

Okay.

Is that a good car? Not really.

You still know the trips?

There's also a place here in Wellington.

Fantastic, that part. The Butterchurn.

And this place, Levi's
Barbecue in Charleston.

Memphis-style barbecue. Really good.

Everyone goes to Tullyburg.

What do you mean?

It's a straight shot to Tallahassee.

Down and across.

Right. Here's the world's largest
Dixie Cup outside of Mission, Georgia.

Direct route. Down and across.

We don't need to see the
world's largest Dixie Cup.

We don't need to enjoy life.

But as long as we're here, the
world's largest Dixie Cup is not life.

It's a straight shot.

On the interstate.

Down and across.

Interstate is not life.

It is more than the
world's largest Dixie Cup.

You're the one that went into a bargain.

That's nature.

What's a die car? That's not nature?

You better Dixie Cup.
You can make an argument.

He said it was a rush job. We're
supposed to have the car there tomorrow.

Tomorrow can be a day.

We can't even go to Lincoln.

But he needs a high heels.

Little doctor or a reverend.

Yeah, no, we don't have a
discount for Medi-God, no.

No, not for medical doctors either.

Make every mind which are you.

It doesn't matter. We have no discounts.

Our everyday low prices
are already rock bottom.

Thank you for calling Curly's.

Welcome to Curly's driveway.

Well... We're here.

Okay.

Who are you? The car.

The car.

The Dodge Aries.

The Dodge Aries.

What are you, a minor bird?

Curly, I understand that.

You are not the Dodge.

What do you mean?

We're not the Dodge.

What's the big deal?

The car isn't ours.

But it's ours.

And the car is ours.

Don't tell Hassey.

Once we get to Tallahassee, it stops
being art and starts being vandalism.

Okay, for sake, Mary, it'll come
off with a little soap and water.

It won't.

Well, what?

Come off with soap and water.

Well, how do you know? I tried.

Mary, it's art.

Stop saying it's art.

That doesn't end all discussion.

We're going to be driving
through some conservative towns.

The South?

The Bible Belt?

Oh, don't I know it.

Honey, I grew up where the Bible Belt
means the ass crack of the Pecos River.

Fort Worth is nowhere near the Pecos River.

That's Pecos.

Honey, darling.

The car art is just a part
of a larger undertaking.

My project.

What's your project?

Loosening you up so we
can get you late, sure, sweetie.

How long's it been? Wait.

Once?

Oh, my God, Mary, and
don't tell me it's been years.

How many years?

Who was it?

You've had sex since what's
your name, haven't you? Donna.

Yeah, Donna.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Donna?

She wouldn't have forgotten Gornium.

Neither.

That's right.

She just looks like Gornium.

Wait a minute.

You said people of
yours would come in for it.

Yes, I did.

You call with the drop-off in Tallahassee.

And then these broads come in and
say they're ready to go to Tallahassee.

You gave them the car.

You don't know who they were?

I told you their names.

Their names, yes.

The places have come.

They drive the car instead of you.

Is that bad?

Bad, if they find the goods.

What's the pigsty? Why don't
you get a girl away? I like clutter.

They didn't have a cellular film.

The girl doesn't work for me.

He asked you a question, dick-enk.

Dick-enk? Flint.

I'm a dick-enk.

Don't antagonize.

We're talking to a book that would cement.

You wouldn't know what
cemented would beat you in the ass.

And you would?

So, there's no way to get in
contact with them? Not per se.

Per se?

They left a local number.

Everybody's got to leave a local number.

Someone who's bald is afraid.

Now you've got to do it.

Ah!

Suzanne Shachel now, 2431, with Garnet.

You better hope your
friends deliver that car.

This is great.

This is so slutty.

I don't love this.

Don't they have postcards?

Jamie?

Alright, let's put on our war
paint and the butter turn away.

Jamie, I think I prefer to-

Nope, don't even come with me.

I'll show you how this is done.

Hiya.

Do you know where the butter turn is?

That car?

Or do you have like a timeout Wellington?

I mean, is there one
with gay lesbian lesbians?

You wouldn't have one.

But do you know if there's a newsstand

or a lesbian bookstore?

You know, it's at the
corner or something like that.

Hello? Confidence.

You've got so big of a
comfortable and physical.

It's kind of like meeting
somebody at a now convention

when you're talking about
just making a little picture of me.

Jamie?

I have done this before.

It's just like this.

One message.

You stay in a female body.

Your body.

You're like this.

Not like this.

Let's just make a little picture of me.

I have done this before.

I am not a school lawyer.

You fuck people that work for Ralph Nade.

Not only.

Only in the last four years.

Three years.

What do you feel in
your body? Very much so.

I got you.

Good weeks, good day.

Like you'll do?

Please, please, come hold me, baby.

You seem totally okay.

Are there any other
mediocre ones like you at all?

I didn't say they all
tweedy or curse about fine.

Yeah, but not in the sense of super fine.

In the sense of fine.

Why are you jousting with me?

I'm not jousting.

I'm asking which of these women
you are not throwing against the wall.

You fuck black ladies, don't worry.

Look, gentlemen.

I'm not a throw-up against the wall and
fuck the daylights out of a kind of person.

Stop trying to make me something I'm not.

I'm just trying to eat
you late, you're sweet.

They sense it.

Whether you want to fuck
them or he's either a spy or not.

It has to be me.

It has to be done with authenticity.

You mean with a board?

I mean with authenticity.

Authenticity is somebody
that works for her out there.

You don't know what her life was like.

You know nothing about its worth.

Then why didn't the two of you move to Santa
Fe and synchronize her Mitchell cycles?

That didn't happen.

That's why you're here.

In the back bar, looking
for a cheap, sleazy sex.

No, I'm not.

This is not me.

You're right, I can't do this.

No, Mary.

I'm sorry, honey girl.

I'm saying you can do this.

You can do this.

You can beat you.

I promise, honey girl.

You're best still.

Jamie, I know you're well intentioned,
but this really isn't right for me.

You should stay and
enjoy your night on the town.

Hello.

Good evening.

I'm Amber.

Marion.

What'd you read in?

Europeans by Henry James.

Wow, thick one.

Hello, Marion.

Hello.

So, is this gonna be
a threesome? Nope.

No, no.

Oh, okay, rats.

Wow.

Bouncy.

How's your book?

It's about two free spirits who visit
a repressed family in New England.

Ah, hello.

They are all repressed in New England.

That is why we are going the other way.

Although there was this one chick
I screamed once on her page here.

She got her tongue so far in me, I
swore it was gonna wriggle out my asshole.

No, I'm not kidding.

They say that there's advanced
yoga people in India supposedly.

You can do that.

Black dots and cunnilingus.

They can even cunniling themselves.

They got pictures of
it in like medical texts.

They got an ass librarian
that'll keep me in stacks.

Who wrote your
book? Henry James.

Henry James.

American writer.

His family, his brother, kid.

Great.

No, kid.

Hello, who Henry James is.

White and uptight.

I had his read Portrait
of a Lady in School.

Boy, that was a great read.

Somebody dragging the
day-old spaghetti across my tits.

Very absolutely.

His prose is a different thing.

Yeah, put me on the whole book thing.

Henry James is in fact
the reason that I don't read.

Uh-huh.

Several times.

Uh-huh, yeah, I don't think you should
have brought one back to the room.

I mean, this one's coming.

How do you think I felt?

You told me to have a night on the table.

Yeah, people say things.

It's not always what they feel.

Yeah, well, I'm from Texas.

We don't read minds.

We all wear it on a handshake basis.

What does that mean?

Hiya, how you doing?

How much for that Cali court?

How'd you like to have
one of your sex? Okay.

Where are you
from, girl? Not Texas.

Oh, no way.

Why'd you ask? I don't know.

Sorry.

No.

I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry? You're good.

I'm a little.

..

I'm a big baby sometimes.

Uncle G knows!

You are not going to believe this.

It's your parent.

You and G soccer team.

Uh-huh.

I was in line next to Doreen, the captain.

Uh-huh.

They're very committed to lesbians,
and they're on their way to marry Dr.

Woodrow, which is
practically along our way.

Not exactly.

We were supposed to leave the car today.

Should we look at the map and see how long?

Look at the map.

After today's game, these girls
are going to have a basement army.

And excuse me about it.

Sure you are.

Nuh-uh.

Us.

You see, the shit happens
when you and Uncle G knows.

Go!

Go!

That's all right.

We've got a plan B.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I understand that, sir.

You've got my word on it.

You're just...

Rotate, right?

Can't we, um, see?

Actually, we're just friends.

Cool, Mary.

It's no big deal.

Suzanne Schinkelman?

Suzanne Schinkelman.

Who the fuck are you?

I was wondering why they curse like that.

You know Jamie Dobbs?

You know Jamie Dobbs?

No, it was about that.

And Mary Bellamy?

You shouldn't do that.

He can't fight back.

He can't hit a girl.

He's old school.

You just want to locate your friends.

They inadvertently took
something that belongs to us.

We don't want to hurt anyone.

They're not like friends
for as much as you would.

Okay.

It would be helpful if you had a picture.

Picture? Picture, yeah.

Got a picture of one of them.

You find them? Give it to her.

Okay.

We'll do.

Oh.

If you bring someone back, just...

I'll take my book to you, please.

There's still a couple of chapters left.

Mary!

We don't yet know exactly where they are,
they've got a picture of one of the girls.

We're all set.

And we will find them in the package.

Under control.

I understand that you're an happy sir.

I've got my two best men on.

Alright.

Get some coffee.

You two are going to be driving all night.

Fuck.

Where are you
headed, miss? Home.

And where's that?

It's a motel, I don't know.

You don't know?

I can't remember the name.

A motel, on the highway.

And where are you
coming from? A house.

Whose house?

I don't know, it was a slumber party.

A little old for slumber parties,
aren't you miss? Look, mister.

You know what?

I'm going to drop you off at home.

Boo!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Boo!

Where the fuck?

Boo!

Boo! Boo! Hands up.

Want to get plaster?

I'll drive when it's my turn.

At the end of three hours, I have
no sympathy for you, my friend.

You could have just asked
her and you'd be fine right now.

I just asked, she answered.

But you cannot relate
to the public, which in a

service profession is a
big fucking hand again.

And that sound is
beginning to get irritating.

Well your lectures are getting irritating.

I don't lecture, my friend.

That's my point.

I take people in.

I react.

I read people to get what I want.

You, though, you think life is this orderly
series of people to beat the shit out of.

Well, real life is not like that.

You only see it that way because
you're not nourished by human contact.

The human being give
and take, and so forth.

Uh-uh.

You want me to take it.

That's what you're comfortable with.

You hate man shit.

You don't engage the whole person.

You did a great job helping
me engage that very agile party.

Didn't have to.

No need whatsoever for the
physical approach, which you

couldn't see because you
don't savor the stuff of life.

I'm not a sissy, boy. That's what you mean.

Kiss my ass. I...

Hello?

Okay, we're on track.

Marion Polavi was picked
up for a personal appointment.

On it.

Thank you.

For what?

Just picking me up.

Am I not gonna pick
you up? Or not to.

Ma'am, your friend here is in the
new scout here to come get her.

I'm gonna get you all day every day.

I will not let a friend of mine rot in
prison longer than is absolutely necessary.

And so I say thank you.

Of course, you ain't told me
how you come to be in prison.

I've been careful not to
ask, but damn, Marion.

Lending yourself in prison
is a very hopeful sign for you.

I think it was jail, not prison.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You ain't told me how
you come to be in jail.

It wasn't hell raising.
Sorry to disappoint.

A police man didn't like my tone.

Oh?

You cop some attitude.

I don't have attitude.

Marion, if I may, there are
certain things in life which

you've got to sense and
understand in order to live life.

And one of the things that
you've got to understand is...

Well, all these funny
little creatures that you

probably noticed walking
around on two legs,

what you call them human beings,

you've got to understand
what makes them tick.

And your whole social situation,
you've got to understand what that is.

Uh-huh.

You know what that means?

Social situation.

I know what social situation means.

Okay, good.

So, the whole thing with a cop is, and you
should remember this with each reference,

when you're in a social
situation with a cop,

there ain't no social situation.

There's a keep your
fucking mouth shut situation.

There's a yes sir
situation is what there is.

Believe me, I've been
dating a cop for two years

now, and I ain't coming
through my bowl all year.

Thank you, I understand.

But if authority is being abused,
there's an obligation to... Holy shit.

Florida.

Florida.

Lesbian, don't let the
sun go down on you here.

You okay? Spare tired.

What?

Something burning?

Jamie, it's cold.

Don't touch it.

I saw this movie once where they come
across this box, the people in the movie,

and they opened the box,
and it was like really, really bad.

Your traffic accident, fast
stop, his face hit the wheel.

Looking at a pretty
girl, weren't you Flint?

No more looking at pretty
girls for you, right? That's right.

So, are they like wanted
or something? Oh no, no.

No, they're not
in trouble at all.

Just drove off with something we
need, didn't even know they had it.

So, what were you all
doing here last night?

Just making out.

Oh yeah? With who?

No kiss and tell, huh?

Anyway, we need to find those
girls to get our sample case back.

And when we heard Doreen
here, paid Marion's fine.

We thought, well, you girls
might know where they're headed.

How do you know about
it's being Doreen's check?

We have contacts on law enforcement.

No, no. We should just call the cops.

We will, Jamie.
First, we should see what's in here.

Why? I don't want to look. Why
do I have to look? Jamie, listen.

Whoever sliced that head
off knows who we are.

This might tell us who they are,
so we won't be at a disadvantage.

The police can buy now,
and the police can protect us.

Protect us? They're not the Secret
Service, and we're not Chelsea Clinton.

What do we lose by looking?

Look, I just want to know what's going on.

This might tell us.

I bet it's locked.

We ought to call the cops.

Why? That was awful.

You just said not to call the cops.

In ignorance.

No. What is it was true?

The cops could think you're involved.

You just banned that in jail.

From bankruptcy.

We wouldn't have anything to do with that.

Okay, honey, cool your jets.
Here's what we do.

First, we get to tell a hasty.

How about next time you
let me do all the talking? Sure.

Yes, that's what you're good at.

Well, it sure as hell
ain't what you're good at.

I'm not a suck-up or a salesman.

Uh-huh. You think you would have
gotten the address where they're headed?

I don't think so, Mr. Sunshine.

We've got some hard driving to do.

Bye!

Welcome to Okan education order.

Yeah, hi.
We have a room for two right away.

Uh, we do have one available, yes.

How many nights?

Well, tonight and
then we'll play it by ear.

Take the rainbow
car? Um, sure we do.

Yes, actually, that's
just a Visa specialty card.

Yeah, but they give a
percentage of each purchase

to gay, lesbian, black,
transgender, and charity.

You do that right.

Well, the issue would
be the one to take that.

Do you have a super-reinforced
safe with sensitive materials?

We do have in-room safes for
any valuables that you may have.

This place is
lesbian-friendly, right? Uh, yes.

Well, sure. We're friendly
to anyone who wants to stay.

You have ice.

This is it.

It's at farm road 80.

What's the matter?

Afraid of this stuff alive?

It's at farm road 80.

Is this, um, slappies?

Guys, you out?

Have you seen two, um,
non-local women come in here?

That's one of them.

I don't see any lessons you'll
kill from a company here about it.

One girl come in here.

She'll be the main high upmost.

I'm ready to let you come
in here and tell her Visa.

Now, that's two.

You know a little bit about your wife.

Oh, I can send Zippy.

Why would these people just be
waiting there in the driveway office?

Well, clearly this was not your
garden variety decapitation.

This was some kind
of a, well, I don't know

what it was, but they
know we have this thus.

Yeah?

Look, Mary, they can't find us.

Maybe they're waiting for us to find them.

That's the only place we know to call.

But why would we get in touch with them?

Set it back, shake them down, which,
incidentally, is not such a bad idea.

Jamie.

Look, I didn't admit extortion.

Jamie, why would Suzanne
help us? She hates you.

Oh, she's had two days to cool off.

Get the fuck back in that locker.

Officer Krasig said I
could speak to my attorney.

Attorney, are you a college boy?

Officer Krasig said I
could speak to my lawyer.

Officer Krasig ain't running booking.

I'm running booking, jackass.

You say... You want me to
walk over there with a kid?

You're never running ass back
into the Delaware fucking river.

Who's running booking? You are.

Who is? You are.

No fucking shit! Shane.

Yeah? Elbow.

Sergeant Shinkleman.

Hey, it's me.

Oh, what a lovely surprise.

Cynthia, come on now.

Let's be friends.

Did the two creeps find you?

What?

Two weirdos looking for you.

I tried to be helpful.

But who were they?

How should I know?

Bill collectors, herpes patients.

Two more people you fucked over somehow.

George and Lenny?

George and Lenny.

A licensee?

Have you read any books?

Books, maybe not.

But, sweetie, I'm going to help
you break a big murder case.

Break a big murder case?

Curly's pregnant?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Turn that around.

Ask him about the what
and he's how she feels?

Jamie, that is about the
dumbest thing I've ever heard.

And I'm a cop.

Why would I make it up?

Just go to Curly's driveway.

I guarantee you someone's there.

You guarantee I'm supposed to believe you.

Fine, you know what?

If no one's there, take Alice.

Really?

Swear? Yes, I swear.

A pussy bromance.

I'll take the dog.

You'll never have to be over there again.

That juke joint, where?

Wetunka, Alabama.

Well, outside of Wetunka,
they hadn't been there,

but a very personable music
lover told us of another juke joint,

fairly close by, called
this... Ah! Called Ikes.

Maybe it's Ikes? It might crash.

But whatever, I think the
soccer team was just confused

about which joint
these girls were going to.

So we're going to
draw... Stop saying words.

One of the girls finally
used a credit card.

They arrived in Tallahassee and checked
into a hotel called Elk and Keystone Door.

Tallahassee, I want you
to get your asses over there

and take care of it, right away.

Not a juke joint.

You should arrive there early morning.

I'll meet you there.

Um, a level with you, Chief.

Flint and me could use a little shut-eye.

We have not slouched since
the night before last and we...

Hello? Chief.

Who's in Tallahassee? Certainly.

There are a number of places I can recommend
locally or right here at the hotel.

We have espadrilles for casual dining

or we have Baxter's by the pool,

which is our more elegant
venue down in the lower level.

Maybe we should stay here.

I wonder if the ice...

This is great, but...

Ladies, sir, are we enjoying
the beverage this evening?

Yes.

Uh, can we get some champagne, please?

Like a really, really
good one? Of course.

Won't you have to pay
for the card at some point?

Yeah, right away.

So...

I've been thinking about it
and... finally dawned on me that

you are not the kind of person that a girl
brings to her roadside motel for a quiz.

Now, I have heard of a more soulful sex

where you have a nice
dinner and conversation

first so it all comes out
of someplace deeper,

but I usually have stuff to do.

There is with Billipope 95.

You mean, you want to sleep with me?

Marion, you've got to
have a good, skinny look.

Something I decided last
night while I was lying in bed

before I started masturbating,
and I figure if it's more than me,

I should take care of it myself.

Especially since with you,

it's got to be with
somebody who cares for you.

Can't just be a finger
jiggling your Clinton adios.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Yes, please.

But... is it a good idea
for us to have sex?

I mean, we're good friends, and maybe
it's not supposed to be more than that.

Maybe we shouldn't have screwed on yet.

Look... you can always
find reasons to not have sex.

Hey, if you think about
them too much, guess what?

You never have sex.

Exactly.

Like, my high school dad was counseling.

She was always saying that
this or that would be inappropriate.

But when I finally got her to relax...

the sexual was great.

The ladies will be decided.

Don't rush us, buddy.

First... we'll dance.

Maybe I do...

overthink things.

Yeah.

If I keep that friendly,
I just let that mind fly.

There's this one time I was with Debbie.

I was like,

you know Debbie.

She's got this humongous dildo.

She's got the mountain mountain on
the Black and Acres circular sanders.

And... she had me going.

Like, my brains were going to
come out of the top of my friggin' skull.

I mean, I came like the
Grand Burlington motherfucker.

Like... One accomplishment.

Name me one.

At least how many are
in a dealing with people?

Those girls wound you up like they tap.

Flint!

Have you ever fucked a woman?

On a creaking porch swing?

On a warm summer evening?

Crickets?

So forth?

I mean, just fuck turn
like there's no tomorrow.

Trousers are on your ankles,

belt jangling,

yelling to beat the band, slamming
away like a Cincinnati jackhammer.

Yes, people might stroll by,

so you look at foolish up there,
slapping ham on the veranda.

But that is the price
you pay for interaction.

If this is too messy for you,

then you will spend the rest
of your miserable fucking life

just hitting people and then
pulling your measly little pod.

Can't wait to tell a chief.

Yeah?

And why don't you also tell him
that you're a social fucking imbecile

that I've been carrying on my back all
the way from Philadelphia? Big piece.

Why would anybody
say it clearly? Yes, sir.

Do you have any? I have.

I didn't have it.

Are you... ? No.

Is that good?

Jamie, no!

Jamie, why?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Mary!

Sir?

Sir?

Tell Hassey, sir.

Where to exactly? Ah, yes, um.

..

The track.

The boat track? Yes, sir.

Those penises were trouble, Jamie.

Oh, come on.

I thought you were going to loosen up.

You're going to work your
way through all of them?

No. I like this one.

Oh, come on. Don't be mad.

Last night was beautiful, but

you fell asleep and I didn't
get my turn on the water slide.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay! Alright!

Hey, Mom!

We're number two!

Good thing!

We're going that thing
fucking more off from you!

We're here for two items.

Whoa. She's noticed.

Alright, no big deal. Just mini-lady.

We're here for two items? Yeah.

This, please, and thank you.

And the heads up.

Fuck you! Don't you fucking let her in.

Alright, ladies. Okay, hold on.

Leave it back to you.

Come on. Go, man.

Okay? Let's get this show on the road.

You're such a big, bouncy, beautiful baby.

Love doesn't have to die, baby.

Whoa.

This is so pretty.

Yeah?

I can love you forever.

Whoa.

And ever.

And ever.

Get straight here.

I haven't debriefed it, Chief.

Figured you wanted to do the talking.

This is all they had.

What's all they had? Ladies.

You're a day late.

And a dick short.

What are you talking about?

This senator's penis is not in the case.

Nothing. Well, it just figures.

Come on, girls.

Where's the last phallus?

You didn't check the case before you left.

I... He's been stepping on his
feet the whole week down, Chief.

What have you
done? Sure, come on.

The guy just ran this
guy's head putting stuff in.

Then gave me the combination
and it still took you 15 minutes.

You didn't have the first number.

The senator is a good man.

He spoke marijuana once in college.

And he was dead.

It was a different time.

He went to a party and met a hippie chick.

Tiffany Blastercaster.

How do you mean?

She took a plaster cast of his excited...

She made one model of each of her.

Old men.

At the time, the senator didn't know that

someday he'd be called
on to serve his community,

his state, and perhaps someday...

his nation.

He was just a kid.

His penis... passed
from hand to hand,

finally ended up with an international
collector named Alejandro Santos Yolandor.

You saw him.

Sort of.

This penis cannot be of
a piece of merchandise.

Think of it.

eBay, Senator Kerry channels
ding-dong, lightly used.

Comments, reviews.

Think of what it would do to him.

His children, his friends, his career.

We're not unreasonable.

We'll gladly pay for it.

We just... No, you mean that!

That wasn't my idea!

I was just trying to keep us awake.

I was experimenting.

But you liked it.

I did.

It was the Irish copy.

I was drunk.

Drunk, I can't.

No!

It's not my thing.

I was just trying to help you
be a man to understand the light.

No!

The stuff!

No, no!

No!

What are you doing?

Alright, we have to get back to the
hotel and grab the penis out of bed.

Then, we switch hotels.

You grab the penis,
I'll meet you in the hotel.

Okay, Malala and Turner.

I'll check in under the name, Abzug.

Where are you going? Our store.

Thanks, customer, please.

Shinkleman, we're going to Tallahassee.

Don't ask my line.

I need to speak to the Senator.

Well, who should I say is calling?

Someone who has
his... personal effects.

Yes.

Who is this?

Somebody who wants a million dollars.

You can get it by tonight.

You can have your thing back.

Everybody's thanks.

I'll tell you where to bring the money.

Come alone.

If you're not alone,

believe me, I'll know it.

Someone named Jamie Dolls
made a phone call from here last night.

Oh, yes.

Well, this is for her.

Oh, I'm sorry, miss.

You missed them.

Her friend just checked them out.

Done.

With what? Tell you later.

I'm going to clean up.

Want to join me? Jamie? I want.

..

I...

I want...

What do you want, Shirley?

I want to make love
with the Senator's penis.

Who are you?

Mind if we sit down?

We didn't deserve this.

This commodification.

These are all good people.

Important people, too.

Some of them.

There's the head of one of the
bigger Fortune 500 companies.

The owner of a large market football team.

The Supreme Court Justice.

You, little people,

didn't make yourselves something
that was never meant for you.

Trafficking in other
people's attainments.

Senator, save the safety money.

And hand over the million smackers.

I used to believe in the
unfettered free market.

Who's head, Senator?

Don't get lofty with me.

Women.

Did we do the wrong thing?

What if he's the next president?

You girls are cute.

My friends and me are having
a little basement party later.

You want a joint? Not tonight.

Sookie? There you are.

Someone's got crackhead phone call now.

What? What do you mean?

How'd you know I'd be here?

Tell me Dyckbar's out there in Tallahassee.

What, are you an executive now?

Did they make you the president
of Little Miss Lyre Band's name?

Oh, this? No, I just...

We thought they didn't know where
we were, but somehow they did,

and this morning they put us
in the back of a Toyota Tercel

and took us to the dog track,
and I'm sure they were gonna kill

us, but lucky for us, they left
the most important penis behind.

Wow.

You had a full day.

She's yours now.

Hang on.

This doesn't look good.

What's she chasing? Yeah.

We forgot to tell you about the
small guy's head in the hat box.

Boy, I think I could win against him.

But now we get to just keep on going.

Who's gonna complain when we leave the car?

Things could not have worked out better.

Well, I guess.

What's wrong?

I am fully aware that the
senator is a terrible person,

but I have to
admit, I'll miss us.

Don't worry, girl.

I'm a guest.

And two puppies.

Great, but why
two? For each other.

Ladies and visitors here.

Can we get our car? You know.

Hers and hers.

And Ellis.

Oh, hello, darling.

She's your eighth, Anna.

And we've done better in church.

Watch what she sees. She's very religious.

So good to see you.

This is my friend Jamie.

Hi, you young lady.

Is this your first time in
Tallahassee? Yes, ma'am.

And what a beautiful city.

Not like Miami.

Oh, no, no.

Not like Miami.

You able to stay with us long?

No, unfortunately I am.

We're off to Massachusetts.

Just decided last night.

But where do they have in
Massachusetts that we don't have right now?

Miami and North Florida.

Women can get married there.

To each other.

That's an innovation.