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1
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,376
Hello.
2
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,661
Hey, it's me. I know you
wanted me to get paper towels.
3
00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:13,962
Did you want me to get the kinds
4
00:00:13,963 --> 00:00:16,632
with, like, the chickens
and ducks on 'em, or...?
5
00:00:16,633 --> 00:00:18,150
I'll let you make
that call, babe.
6
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,551
Okay, I won't let you down.
7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:20,803
Okay, love you. Bye.
8
00:00:20,804 --> 00:00:22,521
Okay, love you too.
Carrie, wait.
9
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,157
Yeah?
10
00:00:23,182 --> 00:00:24,615
I've been thinking
about this whole
11
00:00:25,095 --> 00:00:26,629
automatically
saying "I love you"
12
00:00:26,654 --> 00:00:28,889
at the end of phone calls thing.
13
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,563
I was wondering if
we could drop it?
14
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:33,616
What?
15
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,750
Yeah. We know how we feel.
16
00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:36,402
We don't have to
say it every call.
17
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,037
So you want to stop
saying "I love you"?
18
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,738
Technically, we don't
say "I love you" now.
19
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,940
I mean, we've got it down
to, like, "Love ya. "
20
00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:43,826
You know, it's
almost gone already.
21
00:00:43,827 --> 00:00:46,094
Oh, we're talking about just
dropping the "I love you"
22
00:00:46,095 --> 00:00:47,796
just at the end of phone calls.
23
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,715
For now.
24
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,067
You know what? It's-
It's not a bad idea,
25
00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,568
because when we
actually do say it,
26
00:00:53,569 --> 00:00:55,387
it'll mean that much more.
27
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,672
Exactly. I mean,
it'll really pop.
28
00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:58,507
It'll almost be shocking.
29
00:00:58,508 --> 00:00:59,508
Okay. All right.
30
00:00:59,509 --> 00:01:01,727
Well, goodbye.
31
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,545
Goodbye.
32
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,936
Hello.
33
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,771
Hey, it's me. Yeah?
34
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,573
Just wanted to say I love you.
35
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,408
And I love you too.
36
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,110
All right. All right, love ya.
37
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,144
Love you too.
38
00:01:57,434 --> 00:02:00,869
Douglas, I'm back from
the senior center
39
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,906
and I have an update on
the missing pudding.
40
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,728
Douglas?
41
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:10,796
Hmm.
42
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,769
Hey! Hey, that's my wallet!
43
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,603
I thought you was asleep.
44
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:20,422
I was fakin' it.
45
00:02:20,423 --> 00:02:22,591
Well, it doesn't get
much lower than that.
46
00:02:22,592 --> 00:02:24,226
Apparently, it does.
47
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,711
You expect me to steal
money from Carrie
48
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,846
to buy her own birthday present?
49
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,564
I will not do that again.
50
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,669
When are the Micellis
gonna be done
51
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:37,473
building that freakin' castle?
I mean, knock yourselves out.
52
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,525
You still share an alley
with the Jiffy Lube.
53
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,727
Hey, we're all set
for your birthday.
54
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,428
I just talked to Paddy
down at Cooper's.
55
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,698
He got us a private room.
56
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,415
I mean, it's not
totally private.
57
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:49,484
It's where they keep
the foosball table,
58
00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:52,187
and actually, there's
another party there,
59
00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:54,373
but it's a small one.
60
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:55,908
So I'm turning 35
61
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,544
and we're celebrating
that at Cooper's?
62
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,879
Last week I said, "What do you
want to do for your birthday?"
63
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,215
You said, "Don't do
anything special. "
64
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,283
Yeah, I meant, don't
do anything special
65
00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:07,753
like take me to France,
66
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:12,024
not take me to where you have
a wing-eater's gold card.
67
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,476
First of all, it's platinum,
and they only gave out four,
68
00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:15,710
okay?
69
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:19,281
Look, Carrie, Cooper's
is just and idea, okay?
70
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,666
We can go wherever you want.
71
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,333
Like where?
72
00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:24,369
How about the hot new
club in the city
73
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,038
you were talkin' about?
74
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,406
Silk? Yeah. Let's get silky.
75
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:36,081
So you want to take me to the
hottest club in Manhattan?
76
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,449
Yeah.
77
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,786
Great. Now I have two days to
lose 10 pounds and 10 years.
78
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:41,920
Unbelievable!
79
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,064
So, uh, how old were you
when you went crazy?
80
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,400
Son, 35 is a difficult
birthday for any woman.
81
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,605
Maybe I better just give her
some time, let her cool off.
82
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,673
No, no, no.
83
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,475
Go to her, Douglas.
84
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,477
Go to her.
85
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,492
I used to have gorgeous hair.
86
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,993
I could have sold it.
87
00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:24,880
Nobody would buy this.
Who'd buy this?
88
00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:27,800
I could hang a sign at work.
89
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,701
Look, you're obviously
going through
90
00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,520
some stuff right now, Car,
91
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,273
and I just want you to
know I'm here for you.
92
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,674
You're here for me?
You should be
93
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,709
because this is all your fault.
94
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,110
My fault?
95
00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:41,196
Yeah, you stole my youth. What?
96
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,748
Right. I would still be young
and relatively attractive
97
00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,750
if I didn't have to pick
up after you all the time
98
00:04:45,751 --> 00:04:48,620
and wash your big, huge pants and
cook you dinner every night.
99
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,491
We do order out a lot.
100
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,827
I have to heat it up, don't I?!
101
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,413
Okay, are you okay, or do you
need me to go to the drugstore
102
00:04:58,414 --> 00:05:02,150
and buy you something
from the awkward aisle?
103
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,590
No. It's just that
I'm turning 35
104
00:05:08,591 --> 00:05:10,092
and I feel like crap.
105
00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:12,310
Why are you getting
so down on yourself?
106
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,845
I- I gotta tell ya.
107
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,346
I think you look
more beautiful now
108
00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:16,982
than the day I even met you-
109
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,334
Oh, shut up. Okay.
110
00:05:19,335 --> 00:05:20,468
You know what it is, Doug?
111
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:22,787
I'm not getting the
feedback that I used to.
112
00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:24,389
I mean, I don't
remember the last time
113
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,824
I got groped on the subway.
114
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:28,559
And those construction guys,
115
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,429
I walk by them every day and
I get nothing from them.
116
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:34,199
Nothing!
117
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,335
I've peaked. It's all
downhill from here.
118
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,920
Come on. You're being crazy now.
No,
119
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,554
it's different for men.
The older you get,
120
00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,039
the better-looking you get.
121
00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:43,391
You know what?
122
00:05:43,392 --> 00:05:44,993
You're the one who
should be mad at me.
123
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:47,629
I mean, I'm not that hot
young thing you married.
124
00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,081
Oh, Carrie, you're
not 19 anymore.
125
00:05:50,082 --> 00:05:51,850
So I love you the way
you are right now.
126
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,051
I love everything about you:
127
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,553
the little lines
around your eyes.
128
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,387
Oh, my God. I got crow's feet?
129
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,026
Sweet mama.
130
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,234
Okay, Arthur, I really
have to get going.
131
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,535
But I'm not finished.
132
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,704
Arthur, you've been talking
for an hour straight.
133
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,205
I think I'm pretty
clear on the fact
134
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:17,659
that lard is the
poor man's butter.
135
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,643
Oh, there is one more thing.
136
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,412
This is very difficult
for me to ask,
137
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,715
but I need to borrow some money.
138
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:27,502
Arthur, you haven't paid me back
the loan for the ostrich farm.
139
00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:29,972
By the way, uh, what's
going on with that?
140
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,673
Nothing good.
141
00:06:31,674 --> 00:06:33,408
Now, I need to buy
142
00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:36,261
a birthday present for Carrie.
143
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,395
Arthur, if you're broke...
144
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:39,263
You know, why don't you
make her something?
145
00:06:39,264 --> 00:06:41,900
You guys do ceramics at the
senior center, don't you?
146
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,519
Last week, I made an ashtray
of a woman lying on her back,
147
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,521
but the location of
the cigarette nook
148
00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:48,056
proved controversial.
149
00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:51,693
Okay, no ashtray.
150
00:06:51,694 --> 00:06:53,728
Oh, I made my mom a collage once
151
00:06:53,729 --> 00:06:55,196
and she just flipped. Really?
152
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,582
Yeah, yeah. You must have
old pictures of Carrie,
153
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,750
like, when she was a little kid?
154
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,352
You just arrange
them and frame it
155
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,788
and it'll be better than any
expensive gift you can get her
156
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,456
because it comes
from your heart.
157
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,924
I love it. Great.
158
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,175
Now if you'll spot me a 20,
159
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,676
I'd love to treat you to lunch.
160
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,284
Hey, you know, now that those
people are remodeling,
161
00:07:16,285 --> 00:07:18,954
you officially have the
crappiest house on the block.
162
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,090
N- Hey, no, no, no. Come on.
We gotta go.
163
00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:23,391
It's not safe here.
164
00:07:25,228 --> 00:07:28,129
Oh, God, I forgot my jacket.
165
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:30,982
What's going on?
166
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,935
It's just that Carrie's
turning 35 on Saturday,
167
00:07:33,936 --> 00:07:35,370
and she's freakin' out.
168
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,138
Oh, yeah, 35's a bad one.
169
00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:39,006
Hey, but it'll toughen
you up for 40.
170
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,676
Who's talking?
171
00:07:41,677 --> 00:07:44,412
Uh, it's just Deac
came by to pick me up.
172
00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:46,331
You want to come
down and say hello?
173
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,866
Yeah, that's gonna happen.
174
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,701
Okay, then, you- You
have a good one!
175
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,672
I- I tried telling her she looks
beautiful and everything.
176
00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,274
She just bites my
head off, you know?
177
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,927
It's like she needs to
hear it from someone else.
178
00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,645
You want me to tell her?
179
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,365
Yeah, I'm not crazy
where that might lead.
180
00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:12,790
Deac, you know what? I'll,
uh- I'll meet you at work.
181
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,893
I just gotta make a stop first.
182
00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,403
Hey, who wants a cold one?
183
00:08:26,705 --> 00:08:28,840
Yeah, thanks, buddy, but, uh,
184
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,709
we're not really supposed
to drink on the job.
185
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,512
Hey, I'm not supposed to
put cheese in my cereal.
186
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,664
Doug Heffernan. Live a
couple of doors down.
187
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:38,400
I got kind of a weird
request for you.
188
00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:39,601
Yeah?
189
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,053
Yeah. Uh, this is
my wife, Carrie.
190
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,321
You guys recognize her?
191
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,490
She walks by here every
day on her way to work.
192
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,142
Yeah, I know her. Remember?
193
00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:48,727
She flipped us off yesterday.
194
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,145
That's her.
195
00:08:50,146 --> 00:08:52,013
Anyway, I was wondering
if you guys,
196
00:08:52,014 --> 00:08:53,481
you know, when she
walks by later,
197
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:56,318
wouldn't mind yelling
some dirty stuff at her.
198
00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:58,070
What? The thing is,
199
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,255
she's turning 35 and she's
a little down on herself,
200
00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:02,090
so if you guys could
tell her that she's hot
201
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,959
and yell out all
the nasty things
202
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,245
you want to do to her and where,
she'd be floating on air.
203
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,948
So you want us to sexually
harass your wife?
204
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,918
Bingo. You know,
205
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,920
we're not supposed to
do that kind of stuff.
206
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,587
You can't drink on the job.
207
00:09:16,588 --> 00:09:17,923
You can't harass women?
208
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,308
How does anything get
built in this country?
209
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,992
You know, he does
have a point there.
210
00:09:21,993 --> 00:09:24,462
Come on, it would really,
really help me out.
211
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,997
So, what do you want us to say?
212
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,733
That's all you. You know,
just don't force it.
213
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,268
Just throw it away.
214
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,437
And by the way, you're gonna
have a lot to work with,
215
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,706
'cause whether you like the
balcony or the basement,
216
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,874
she is built to please.
217
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:39,527
I guess I can say, uh, "Is
that a mirror in your pocket?
218
00:09:39,528 --> 00:09:41,780
'Cause I can see myself
in your pants. "
219
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,013
Yes. I like that.
220
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,149
Don't- Don't be
afraid to speak up.
221
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:47,018
Yeah, so something like, uh,
222
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,921
"Wait, mamamita, shake
those maracas!"
223
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,873
Now we're cookin' with gas.
224
00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:53,508
What else you got?
I- I could say,
225
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,411
"I-I love your hair, and
I want to cut it off,
226
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,145
and I want to put it in a box. "
227
00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:04,419
Hey, look what's comin' by!
228
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,920
Oh, damn, she's hot.
229
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,422
Hey, do fries come
with that shake?
230
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:08,423
Whoo! Whoo!
231
00:10:08,424 --> 00:10:11,526
Shake those maracas, mama!
232
00:10:13,896 --> 00:10:16,113
and then I want you to
233
00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:17,715
Oh, yeah!
234
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,873
Hey, how was your day?
235
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,509
Great. Hey, how about
steak for dinner, huh?
236
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,810
Mmm. And you know what?
237
00:10:28,811 --> 00:10:32,046
It has been a while since I
made my man some cupcakes.
238
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,221
Look at all the
places you've been.
239
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,174
You've had some life.
240
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,592
It has been quite a ride.
241
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:45,844
Oh, my God. You
were at Woodstock?
242
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:49,580
Yes, I worked security.
243
00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:52,550
It was a magical three days
of kicking hippie ass.
244
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,119
Wow.
245
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,738
Turns out acid really
hampers a person's ability
246
00:10:57,739 --> 00:11:00,325
to defend themselves.
247
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,377
Yeah. Tell me about it.
248
00:11:02,378 --> 00:11:05,580
Oh, look. Here's a really
cute picture of Carrie
249
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,199
at one of her birthday parties.
250
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,084
Oh, yes. That's
when she turned 6.
251
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,518
Aw.
252
00:11:10,519 --> 00:11:13,205
I don't see you in any of
these pictures, though.
253
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,339
I wasn't there.
254
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,774
I, uh, boycotted that party
255
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,709
for reasons well known to her.
256
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,779
Okay, well, I'm sure we can
find a cute one in here.
257
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:25,399
Oh, look. This is Carrie
at high school graduation.
258
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,868
Huh.
259
00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,937
Mm. Were you at that?
260
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,188
No.
261
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,857
I was at a high school
graduation that day,
262
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,694
just not hers.
263
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,445
Well, gosh, Arthur,
264
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,482
I don't see you with Carrie
in any of these pictures.
265
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:42,049
Well, I was a very busy man.
266
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:45,287
I was on the road a lot.
I had obligations.
267
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,337
I...
268
00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:50,625
I was a terrible father.
269
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,960
Oh, no, Arthur. Yes.
270
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,727
Yes, those pictures don't lie.
271
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:58,333
I was too busy chasing
the almighty dollar.
272
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,051
Well, it's better than my dad
273
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,486
who was too busy chasing
274
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,655
the almighty tube of glue.
275
00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:11,663
Why couldn't I have
been at her party?
276
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,230
Why?
277
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,383
Excuse me, Holly.
278
00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:18,920
I need to lie down.
279
00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:27,228
I'm gonna call my dad.
280
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,952
So you bring these guys
doughnuts every morning,
281
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,287
they yell nasty
stuff at your wife,
282
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:38,522
then she comes home happy
and makes you a pot roast?
283
00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:41,209
Yep. And the dirtier the talk,
284
00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:43,295
the bigger the portions.
285
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,598
I'm tellin' you, man, you
are playing with fire.
286
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,350
Hey, boys!
287
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,751
Hey. What's up, Car?
288
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:52,420
Who wants a Manwich?
289
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:57,859
Um, sure.
290
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,645
Okay. Honey, I know what I
want to do for my birthday.
291
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,781
Bring it. So I want
to go to Silk.
292
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,764
We are so there.
293
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,519
All right, but I wanna do
something before that.
294
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,653
Oh, that is happening too.
295
00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:13,274
Stop it, sweetie, stop it. Okay.
296
00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:15,343
You know the mountain bikes
we have in the garage
297
00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:16,828
that we bought and never used?
298
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,146
I don't know about never used.
299
00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:20,815
I mean, technically, they are
keeping the fuse box shut.
300
00:13:22,651 --> 00:13:24,669
So you- You want
to go biking now?
301
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:26,454
Yes. Remember that day
I was feeling so old?
302
00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:28,756
Well, I realized that's
all in your head.
303
00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:32,193
You gotta think young, you
gotta do young things, so...
304
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:35,329
Red or blue?
305
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,750
The, uh, red one'll
help the cars see you.
306
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,863
Come on, Doug! You can do it!
307
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,616
It's too steep!
308
00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:56,785
You gotta pedal!
309
00:13:56,786 --> 00:13:58,920
I know how a bike works!
310
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,460
You're in the wrong gear!
311
00:14:07,696 --> 00:14:09,097
Oh, God!
312
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,502
Oh.
313
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:16,303
Not good.
314
00:14:19,975 --> 00:14:21,943
Aagh!
315
00:14:31,052 --> 00:14:33,488
Hey, Arthur, how's it going?
316
00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:34,889
Today's my daughter's birthday
317
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,909
and my only gift is a
table full of neglect.
318
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,093
Well, maybe not.
319
00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:40,961
Remember how I told you
I was dating that guy
320
00:14:40,962 --> 00:14:43,214
who works in the photo
department at Walgreen's?
321
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,633
Nobody likes a braggart, Holly.
What's your point?
322
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,602
Well, here's that
picture of Carrie
323
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,103
blowing out her
birthday candles,
324
00:14:49,104 --> 00:14:52,557
except look who's got
his arm around her now.
325
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,109
Oh, my God, that's me.
326
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:57,479
But how could that be?
I wasn't there.
327
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,230
Well, no. Josh took
another picture of you
328
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,999
and digitally superimposed it
onto Carrie's birthday picture.
329
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,318
Anybody can do it.
330
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,687
Any witch could do it.
331
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,256
Okay, let's not get bogged
down with the details here.
332
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:11,392
All I'm saying is
that any picture
333
00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:12,860
you want to put yourself into,
334
00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:14,112
Josh can do it for you.
335
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,847
Normally, I don't dabble
in the black arts,
336
00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:20,384
but it sure would get
me out of a pickle.
337
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,019
Red dress, the boy.
338
00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:47,095
I'm gonna throw this
out one more time.
339
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:49,264
There's a Wendy's
two blocks away
340
00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:51,149
and it's got a playground.
341
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,500
Doug, come on. We're
gonna get in.
342
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:53,501
I can feel it.
343
00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:55,069
Come on, you used
to work at a club.
344
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,822
Why don't you go talk to the
guy, bouncer to bouncer?
345
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,440
I guess I could do that.
All right, go, go.
346
00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:00,841
Yeah. Go, baby, go, go, go.
347
00:16:00,842 --> 00:16:02,443
Excuse me. Excuse me.
I'm on the, uh-
348
00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:05,412
I'm on the list. Excuse me.
I'm on the list up here.
349
00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:08,215
I'm on the list. Sorry. He's got
a special list we gotta do.
350
00:16:09,585 --> 00:16:11,452
What's up?
351
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,923
I used to bounce too.
Neon, '91 to '93.
352
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,992
It's Starbucks now. Like- Like-
353
00:16:17,993 --> 00:16:20,427
Like we need more of those.
You know what I'm saying?
354
00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:21,963
Every corner. That's a nice set-
355
00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:24,933
Don't touch.
356
00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:26,601
Oh, mama.
357
00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:28,269
Sorry. Sorry.
358
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,586
Guy lost the list.
359
00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:30,955
Ass.
360
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,941
What an ass.
361
00:16:32,942 --> 00:16:33,991
Excuse me. They lost the li-
362
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,859
I laid some groundwork
is what I did. Good.
363
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,029
He's coming back. He's coming back.
Yeah.
364
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,697
Uh, you two.
365
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,482
You and you.
366
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:42,884
Oh, thank you. All right.
367
00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:44,502
Oh, the thing is
it's my birthday
368
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,255
and I don't really want to go
in without my husband, so...
369
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,540
You want to go in or out?
370
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,375
All right, I'm gonna
go get us a table.
371
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,826
I'll meet you in there, honey.
372
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,197
Hi, is there any possible
way that I could-
373
00:16:57,532 --> 00:16:59,033
Don't touch.
374
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,488
We're both Green Berets.
375
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,357
We're just constantly
testing each other.
376
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,567
Come on, baby. Time to get up.
377
00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:20,288
We only went to bed three hours ago.
What are you-
378
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,807
Plenty of time to sleep
when we get old. Come on.
379
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,028
Oh, God, they got that
jackhammer working again, huh?
380
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,498
Shut it off!
381
00:17:30,499 --> 00:17:32,333
Stop it.
382
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,236
Morning, boys.
383
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,774
Hey, watch out what you're
doin' with that hose.
384
00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:41,375
This is a family neighborhood.
385
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,845
Okay, baby.
386
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,899
And as for you, let's get goin'.
387
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,734
We have places to be.
388
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,985
What? Where?
389
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,272
I made a reservation for brunch
at this new place in SoHo.
390
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,990
Oh. All right.
391
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,609
And we're gonna ride
our bikes there.
392
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,442
What?
393
00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:00,328
No, no. No more biking.
394
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,280
Why? We had fun yesterday.
395
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,331
Carrie, my seat was in me!
396
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,104
Doug,
397
00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:12,406
I am serious about this.
398
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:15,209
I don't want to spend Saturday
nights on the couch anymore.
399
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,777
I want to live life,
400
00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:19,297
but you gotta keep up
with me, all right?
401
00:18:21,449 --> 00:18:22,583
So, what-
402
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:24,218
What do you want me to do?
403
00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:27,088
Okay, well, I want you to
be more open to things
404
00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:29,757
like taking our bikes to brunch
405
00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:32,126
and maybe going to
an art gallery.
406
00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:34,228
And I think we should revisit
407
00:18:34,229 --> 00:18:36,997
the whole Weight Watchers thing.
408
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,702
Okay.
409
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,787
Change of plans.
410
00:18:44,973 --> 00:18:47,525
Whoo-hoo! Look what's comin'!
411
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:48,893
Yo, baby, you look hot.
412
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,427
Uh, but not that hot.
413
00:18:50,428 --> 00:18:52,763
Very attractive for
a woman your age.
414
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:55,199
Oh, yeah, I'd like to see you
stay home and not go out.
415
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,701
Whoo!
416
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:01,639
Hey, check it out.
417
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,174
Step lightly, chunky.
We fixed that sidewalk.
418
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:06,143
Yeah, the buffet called.
You win.
419
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,645
You have a mirror
in your pocket?
420
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,981
'Cause you are really fat.
421
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,698
What the hell?
422
00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:15,937
Get in.
423
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,490
She brought us cupcakes.
424
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,382
Sorry my gift was a
little late, darling,
425
00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:29,716
but picking and choosing
426
00:19:29,717 --> 00:19:32,320
from 35 years of
wonderful memories
427
00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:34,021
is no easy chore.
428
00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:36,758
Oh, Dad, this is so sweet.
429
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,344
See? There we are together at
your sixth birthday party.
430
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,046
Oh, yeah.
431
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:42,996
Yes.
432
00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:45,800
We had some marvelous moments.
433
00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:48,936
Yeah, it's just I don't remember
you and me riding an elephant.
434
00:19:49,871 --> 00:19:53,141
Or going to the Oscars.
435
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:56,410
That's why we take pictures
436
00:19:57,579 --> 00:19:59,230
Thank you, Daddy.
437
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:00,114
Mm-hm.
438
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,542
What? Hey. Uh,
439
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,545
I got a delivery for
a Leonard Montclair.
440
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,998
That's my roommate.
I'll take it.
441
00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:19,733
Hey, you're that
bouncer from the club.
442
00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:22,303
Eh. The one who
wouldn't let me in.
443
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,041
Yeah.
444
00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:28,259
Just give me the package.
445
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,610
No, that's all right. Uh,
446
00:20:29,611 --> 00:20:31,011
you know, I'm sorry.
447
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,246
See, the problem is
448
00:20:32,247 --> 00:20:34,482
I need the addressee
to sign for it, okay?
449
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,250
So I'm gonna have
to throw you a:
450
00:20:36,251 --> 00:20:38,186
"Don't touch. "
451
00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:39,720
Yeah.
452
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:40,988
Oh, yeah. No, no.
453
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,858
Don't touch.
32241
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