All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S04E15 - Dougie Nights (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,097 --> 00:00:39,946 Good luck with your wrapper. 2 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,913 So, Saturday night, huh? 3 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,647 Saturday night. 4 00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:22,915 This is sweet. 5 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,166 It do not get better than this. 6 00:01:25,884 --> 00:01:27,285 It do not. 7 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:37,994 So is this just a phase, 8 00:01:38,062 --> 00:01:41,330 or is this... Pretty much it for us? 9 00:01:41,397 --> 00:01:42,897 What do you wanna do? 10 00:01:42,965 --> 00:01:45,751 Something a little bit more action-packed. 11 00:01:45,818 --> 00:01:48,235 You wanna go hit amateur night at a strip club? 12 00:01:51,823 --> 00:01:53,489 I think there's a middle ground. 13 00:01:53,557 --> 00:01:56,626 Um, hey, let's go see a movie. 14 00:01:56,693 --> 00:01:59,361 A movie? I like your spunk! 15 00:01:59,429 --> 00:02:00,711 Well, let's go, bub. 16 00:02:00,779 --> 00:02:02,113 We are goin' to the movies! 17 00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:03,932 I am excited. And you know what? 18 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:07,050 I'm gonna wear that new underwear you bought me. 19 00:02:07,118 --> 00:02:08,919 I look forward to that. 20 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:11,286 Since we're going, let's call Deac' and invite him. 21 00:02:11,354 --> 00:02:12,521 Uh, not gonna happen. 22 00:02:12,622 --> 00:02:15,090 He's, uh, he's not ready to start goin' out yet. 23 00:02:15,158 --> 00:02:16,174 Oh, come on. 24 00:02:16,242 --> 00:02:17,909 It's been 2 months since Kelly left him. 25 00:02:17,977 --> 00:02:19,577 He's gotta have a movie in him. 26 00:02:19,645 --> 00:02:22,046 Look, we can call him, but I'm telling ya, 27 00:02:22,114 --> 00:02:24,214 he's not even answering his phone anymore. 28 00:02:24,281 --> 00:02:26,382 And you gotta hear his machine. 29 00:02:26,449 --> 00:02:27,650 Brutal. 30 00:02:29,285 --> 00:02:30,919 Hi. This is Deacon. 31 00:02:30,988 --> 00:02:32,854 I'm not here right now. 32 00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:37,391 If you're calling for Kelly, 33 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,859 or my children, 34 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,663 they're at her mother's at 555-1012. 35 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,400 I... I gotta go. 36 00:02:50,486 --> 00:02:51,987 Just act normal. Ok. 37 00:02:54,089 --> 00:02:56,389 Hey, buddy, it's, uh, it's Doug and Carrie. 38 00:02:56,457 --> 00:02:57,957 Hey, fella! 39 00:03:00,894 --> 00:03:03,262 Anyway, uh, look, man, I know you're there, 40 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,696 so just pick up the phone. 41 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:05,997 Come on, man, huh? 42 00:03:06,081 --> 00:03:07,499 We're... we're going to the movies, 43 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:08,866 and we wanna invite you along. 44 00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:10,368 Come on, man, it's movie time. 45 00:03:10,436 --> 00:03:11,901 ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da-da 46 00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:14,304 ♪ 47 00:03:14,372 --> 00:03:16,038 The raisinettes are playin' trumpet, 48 00:03:16,106 --> 00:03:18,041 and, hey, surround sound, huh? 49 00:03:18,109 --> 00:03:21,344 Whoa-oa, whoa-oa. 50 00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:32,085 Ding-a-ling-a-ling- a-ling-a-ling. 51 00:03:41,927 --> 00:03:43,696 Hey, guy! 52 00:03:43,763 --> 00:03:45,730 I told you we shouldn't have worn pants. 53 00:03:45,798 --> 00:03:47,231 Now we've embarrassed him, huh? 54 00:03:47,299 --> 00:03:48,732 I kid. What's going on? 55 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,999 Hey! 56 00:03:51,935 --> 00:03:53,403 Well, I guess we know 57 00:03:53,471 --> 00:03:55,805 who the neat freak in the relationship was, huh? 58 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:57,505 Did you get our message? 59 00:03:57,573 --> 00:03:59,140 Yeah, you guys are, what... 60 00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:01,709 Ge-getting some raisinettes, or something? 61 00:04:01,777 --> 00:04:03,345 We called to ask you to the movies. 62 00:04:03,412 --> 00:04:04,845 Now we're takin' you by force. 63 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,214 I'm kinda in the middle of a project right now. 64 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,247 What are you doing? 65 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,049 Well, I'm going through these old pictures, 66 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,284 seeing if Kelly ever looked happy with me. 67 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:15,687 I don't think she did. 68 00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:16,688 She was. 69 00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:18,255 She had a very sour face in general. 70 00:04:18,306 --> 00:04:20,141 Yeah, that's true. She frowned at everything. 71 00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:22,460 Oh, yeah. If she won the lottery, she'd be like, 72 00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:24,160 "yeah, I won!" 73 00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:27,913 Uh-huh. 74 00:04:27,981 --> 00:04:29,582 Come on. We're serious. 75 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:31,182 Go to the movies with us. 76 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,517 Yeah, come on, man. 77 00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:34,351 Hey, I'll let you feel me up, 78 00:04:34,419 --> 00:04:37,087 then I'll let you have a run at Carrie. Come on. 79 00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:39,741 It's just... You know what? 80 00:04:39,808 --> 00:04:42,426 Hanging out with a couple right now is just not a great idea. 81 00:04:42,576 --> 00:04:43,808 Where you going? 82 00:04:43,876 --> 00:04:46,045 I'm getting my box of pictures from the honeymoon. 83 00:04:46,112 --> 00:04:49,647 If I get lucky, maybe I'll find a smirk, I don't know. 84 00:04:49,714 --> 00:04:51,882 Doug, we gotta get him out of here. 85 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,417 You heard him. He won't go. 86 00:04:53,484 --> 00:04:54,935 Maybe he won't go out with us, 87 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,837 but why don't you take him out? I'll bail. 88 00:04:56,904 --> 00:04:58,038 Look at this place. 89 00:04:58,106 --> 00:04:59,373 It's getting pretty scary. 90 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,674 Cereal in a frisbee? Come on! 91 00:05:02,742 --> 00:05:05,428 Actually, that was mine from 2 weeks ago. 92 00:05:05,496 --> 00:05:07,662 Please, just take him out. Go somewhere. 93 00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:08,780 Go where? 94 00:05:08,848 --> 00:05:10,331 I don't know. Go to a nightclub. 95 00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:11,248 A nightclub? 96 00:05:11,315 --> 00:05:12,716 Yeah. You used to love clubs. 97 00:05:12,783 --> 00:05:15,352 You used to be like big, fun club guy. 98 00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:18,238 Yeah, but now I'm big fall-asleep-with- crumbs-on-my-chest guy. 99 00:05:18,305 --> 00:05:19,872 People change. 100 00:05:20,023 --> 00:05:22,357 Well, you're not doing this for you. 101 00:05:22,424 --> 00:05:23,792 You're doing this for Deacon. 102 00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:25,793 Come on, honey, we gotta get him out of here 103 00:05:25,861 --> 00:05:27,662 before he humps the photo album! 104 00:05:29,113 --> 00:05:31,080 Fine. I'll take him out. 105 00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:32,899 Hey, Deac', buddy, come on, man. 106 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:34,718 You and I are gonna go out without Carrie. 107 00:05:34,786 --> 00:05:35,968 Let's go! 108 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,970 Ok. It's gonna have to be another night. 109 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,271 Why? 110 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:41,473 'Cause he just put his pajamas on. 111 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:42,573 Actually, I think 112 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:45,475 he might have just put Kelly's pajamas on. 113 00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:53,483 Carrie, I'm gonna need you to read this, 114 00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:54,916 and every time you see the words 115 00:05:54,984 --> 00:05:57,552 "hamburger Patty," highlight it in blue. 116 00:05:57,854 --> 00:05:59,187 Ok. 117 00:05:59,255 --> 00:06:01,089 Also, have you met Lila? 118 00:06:01,157 --> 00:06:02,390 Uh, Lila. No. 119 00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:03,724 She's Thompson's new assistant. 120 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:06,426 I gotta tell you, she looks exactly like you. 121 00:06:06,493 --> 00:06:07,243 Really? Yeah. 122 00:06:07,311 --> 00:06:08,778 It's incredible. Really. 123 00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:13,782 Ok. I believe you. 124 00:06:13,849 --> 00:06:15,716 I'm not kidding, Carrie. 125 00:06:16,684 --> 00:06:18,902 Well, I... I can't comment. 126 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:21,371 Haven't seen her. 127 00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:23,156 Well, you wanna see her? 128 00:06:23,223 --> 00:06:25,007 Here. That's her. 129 00:06:29,512 --> 00:06:31,111 130 00:06:36,818 --> 00:06:38,618 All right. The club scene. 131 00:06:38,686 --> 00:06:40,153 It's all comin' back. 132 00:06:40,221 --> 00:06:42,138 So gimme some guidelines lady-wise. 133 00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:44,172 What do you like? What do you need? 134 00:06:44,239 --> 00:06:45,574 You like big boobs, little boobs? 135 00:06:45,642 --> 00:06:46,942 Full-figured, skinny, skanky? 136 00:06:47,009 --> 00:06:48,376 Talk to me, goose. 137 00:06:49,979 --> 00:06:51,612 I'd like anyone who won't take my kids 138 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,680 in the middle of the night and move to Jersey, 139 00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,049 that's what I'd like. 140 00:06:55,116 --> 00:06:56,417 Will you forget about that? 141 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:57,616 All right, come on. 142 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,118 Now, look. 143 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,953 I want you to have one conversation with a pretty girl. 144 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,054 That's all I'm asking. 145 00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,256 Candy shop is open. 146 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,722 Pick yourself a lolly. 147 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:09,660 I don't know. 148 00:07:09,727 --> 00:07:11,477 I... I guess they're kinda cute. 149 00:07:11,546 --> 00:07:13,980 There you go. Perfect. 150 00:07:14,048 --> 00:07:16,182 Look at 'em sittin' there. 151 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:19,034 They have no idea how their lives are about to change. 152 00:07:20,469 --> 00:07:22,070 They're helpless antelopes. 153 00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:24,539 We're lions in the grass. 154 00:07:24,607 --> 00:07:26,172 Let the hunt begin. 155 00:07:34,214 --> 00:07:35,581 So go ahead. 156 00:07:36,649 --> 00:07:38,250 I thought you were going. 157 00:07:38,317 --> 00:07:39,901 Me? I don't need to meet women. 158 00:07:39,969 --> 00:07:41,836 You just said, "tell me who you like." 159 00:07:41,904 --> 00:07:44,654 That's what the pimp says before he goes and gets you the girl. 160 00:07:47,674 --> 00:07:48,941 I'm not your pimp. 161 00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,777 I'm your white sidekick. Now, you go! 162 00:07:50,779 --> 00:07:52,760 No, I don't want to. Let's get outta here. 163 00:07:52,828 --> 00:07:55,796 No, fine, fine, I'll do it, all right? Jeez! 164 00:07:55,863 --> 00:07:57,098 Man. 165 00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:58,932 It's been a while since I've done this. 166 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,701 My heart is pumpin'. 167 00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:02,702 What was my old routine again? 168 00:08:02,769 --> 00:08:05,104 Oh, yeah, shake it out, untuck, and roll. 169 00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,792 Hey there. 170 00:08:09,859 --> 00:08:12,026 I don't know if you ladies watch professional roller derby, 171 00:08:12,093 --> 00:08:13,828 but I'm Doug Heffernan. 172 00:08:17,182 --> 00:08:18,882 ♪ It's gonna get ya 173 00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,817 ♪ rhythm is gonna get ya 174 00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:23,118 ♪ rhythm is gonna get ya 175 00:08:23,186 --> 00:08:25,254 ♪ tonight 176 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:26,789 ♪ oh-ey-oh-ey 177 00:08:26,857 --> 00:08:28,389 ♪ oh-ey-oh-ey 178 00:08:28,457 --> 00:08:29,724 ♪ oh-ey... 179 00:08:29,791 --> 00:08:31,975 All right. What time is it? 180 00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:33,445 It's a quarter to 2. Whassup? 181 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,563 Wow. How'd it go? 182 00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:37,047 Oh, it was great. 183 00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:39,081 I was dancin', had a few beers, 184 00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:42,785 met a drunk dude who kept high-fivin' me all night. 185 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,620 You see? You were fightin' me on this, and it went great. 186 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,405 Yeah. Oh, and by the way, it turns out, 187 00:08:47,473 --> 00:08:50,274 when you're happily married and not desperate to pick someone up, 188 00:08:50,341 --> 00:08:52,242 the chicks just start flyin' at you. 189 00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:59,064 At you or at Deacon? 190 00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:02,067 Don't worry about it. Come on. 191 00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:03,335 It was great for Deacon. 192 00:09:03,402 --> 00:09:05,002 He got out. He got his feet wet. 193 00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:06,704 I learned what type of woman he likes, 194 00:09:06,772 --> 00:09:08,872 which is, p.S., bootylicious. 195 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,792 That's good. You did good, honey. 196 00:09:11,859 --> 00:09:13,059 Thanks. 197 00:09:13,127 --> 00:09:15,511 So we're gonna kick it back there on Thursday. 198 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,562 What? You're going back there again? 199 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,148 Yeah, what'd you think, I'd get him remarried in one night? 200 00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:22,667 I'm good, but I'm not that good. 201 00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:24,501 All right, it's late. I'm going to bed. 202 00:09:24,569 --> 00:09:26,336 Oh, come on! Stay down here with me. 203 00:09:26,404 --> 00:09:28,839 I'm up now! Let's party. 204 00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:30,306 Come on, party! 205 00:09:37,029 --> 00:09:38,330 Mr. Thompson's office. 206 00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:39,331 Oh, no, she left. 207 00:09:39,399 --> 00:09:41,365 I'm his new assistant, Lila. 208 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:42,999 He's in court this morning. 209 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,402 All right, I'll tell him you called. Bye-bye. 210 00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:13,974 Oh, bless you. 211 00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:15,476 Thank you. 212 00:10:26,936 --> 00:10:29,219 213 00:10:29,288 --> 00:10:31,790 All right. Tonight, I wanna see some progress, guy. 214 00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:33,624 Tonight, it's all about you. 215 00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:36,058 This is your time. This is your town. 216 00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:37,059 You ready? 217 00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:38,127 Not really... 218 00:10:38,195 --> 00:10:39,561 Good. Let's go. 219 00:10:39,629 --> 00:10:41,013 Hey, man, what's going on? 220 00:10:41,081 --> 00:10:42,047 Hey, man. 221 00:10:42,115 --> 00:10:43,582 Hey! Tonight, you're buying! 222 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:44,683 Hey! 223 00:10:45,751 --> 00:10:46,784 What's happening? 224 00:10:46,852 --> 00:10:48,485 There they are, the girls of Fordham u. 225 00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:49,954 I know I can't afford 'em. 226 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:51,222 You? 227 00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:55,358 What's up, lizard? Couple buds. 228 00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,025 229 00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:23,063 230 00:11:23,131 --> 00:11:24,663 You havin' fun? 231 00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:26,784 What? 232 00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,985 You havin' fun? 233 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,120 What? 234 00:11:31,187 --> 00:11:32,571 All right! 235 00:11:34,341 --> 00:11:35,357 What? 236 00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:39,176 237 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,121 Hey, Deac', wake up. 238 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:55,022 Huh? 239 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,458 A bunch of these guys are goin' out for eggs. You up? 240 00:11:56,525 --> 00:11:58,075 What? It's 3 A.M. 241 00:11:58,143 --> 00:12:02,228 We gotta work in the mornin'. I just wanna go home, man. 242 00:12:02,296 --> 00:12:04,513 All right. I'm gonna go with them. All right? 243 00:12:04,581 --> 00:12:06,497 Hey, you did great tonight, buddy. 244 00:12:06,566 --> 00:12:07,999 You did great! 245 00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:09,900 Hey, wait up! Shotgun! 246 00:12:18,459 --> 00:12:20,009 247 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,697 Hey, sweetness. 248 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,466 I'd like to show you a picture my boss took. 249 00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:52,735 Uh, what do you see when you look at this picture? 250 00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:54,436 You and a girl who looks like you. 251 00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:55,872 Hey! Watch the hair. 252 00:12:55,939 --> 00:12:58,024 Well, don't tell someone they look like someone else 253 00:12:58,092 --> 00:13:00,025 when they very clearly don't! 254 00:13:00,092 --> 00:13:02,193 Will you relax. Why is this such a big deal for you? 255 00:13:02,260 --> 00:13:03,043 It just is. 256 00:13:03,111 --> 00:13:04,278 Hasn't anyone ever told you 257 00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:06,513 you look like someone and it offended you? 258 00:13:06,581 --> 00:13:10,182 What, you mean, like, every famous fat guy in any movie, ever? 259 00:13:12,018 --> 00:13:13,787 That's different. 260 00:13:13,854 --> 00:13:15,787 What's with the getup anyway? 261 00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:17,122 I'm goin' out with Deacon tonight. 262 00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:18,389 What? Again? 263 00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:19,756 That's the 3rd time this week. 264 00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:22,693 Look, I'm doing this for my friend. He's suffering. 265 00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:29,865 And you have to trim your nose hair because? 266 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:32,635 Because I'm guiding him through the singles scene, ok? 267 00:13:32,702 --> 00:13:34,636 I don't think he wants a guy who's all, like, 268 00:13:34,703 --> 00:13:37,338 "hey, what's up, ladies? This is my friend Deacon right here. 269 00:13:37,406 --> 00:13:38,639 "Deacon, say hello to the girl. 270 00:13:38,706 --> 00:13:40,774 Hey, nice to meet you. How you guys doin'?" 271 00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:46,145 Hello? 272 00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:47,346 It's Deacon. 273 00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:49,681 What's up, my brother? 274 00:13:49,749 --> 00:13:52,200 I was callin' to let you know I can't go out tonight. 275 00:13:52,268 --> 00:13:53,634 What? Why? 276 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:56,337 I met this girl at church on Sunday, and we're just gonna hang out. 277 00:13:56,404 --> 00:13:58,204 Dude, I'm already dressed. 278 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,007 I'm sorry. She's making me dinner. 279 00:14:00,075 --> 00:14:02,392 You met her at church, and she's already making you dinner? 280 00:14:02,459 --> 00:14:04,793 I gotta tell you, you got a stalker on your hands. 281 00:14:04,861 --> 00:14:06,311 What's your problem, man? 282 00:14:06,362 --> 00:14:07,962 My problem is, we had plans this evening, 283 00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:11,148 and I think you're being very rude. 284 00:14:11,216 --> 00:14:12,950 Doug, in a second, you may hear a noise 285 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,435 that sounds like someone hanging up. 286 00:14:17,305 --> 00:14:18,471 Loser. 287 00:14:19,606 --> 00:14:22,074 I'm glad Deacon canceled. 288 00:14:22,142 --> 00:14:24,209 I get my couch-Doug back. 289 00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:27,578 Yeah, he's back. 290 00:14:29,481 --> 00:14:32,482 I'm sorry I, I snapped at you before about the picture. 291 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:33,682 It was just... 292 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,585 It's annoying. 293 00:14:35,653 --> 00:14:37,053 Do you know 294 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,988 that they actually put it in the office newsletter? 295 00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:40,722 Do you know what the caption was? 296 00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:42,657 "Mary-Kate and Ashley." 297 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,560 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 298 00:14:45,628 --> 00:14:47,227 I'm just sayin', I mean, whatever, 299 00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:49,263 but people have actually stopped me on the street 300 00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,264 and told me I look like j-lo, you know? 301 00:14:51,331 --> 00:14:54,700 And one has actually met her. 302 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:57,402 And this girl, trust me, looks nothing like j-lo. 303 00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:59,270 So by simple multiplication, 304 00:14:59,337 --> 00:15:02,173 there is no way that I look like this girl. 305 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,840 306 00:15:03,908 --> 00:15:06,676 And it's not like I need people comin' up to me every 2 seconds 307 00:15:06,743 --> 00:15:08,478 and telling me I'm beautiful or anything. 308 00:15:08,546 --> 00:15:10,445 But I definitely don't need people telling me 309 00:15:10,513 --> 00:15:12,714 I look like people that I... That I don't look like. 310 00:15:12,782 --> 00:15:14,015 You know what I'm sayin', hon'? 311 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:16,667 Oh, yeah. What? Are you kiddin' me? 312 00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:18,985 And let's say everybody was right at the office, 313 00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:21,572 and I look exactly like this girl. 314 00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:24,291 Do you know what? It really doesn't matter to me, 315 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,192 because I'm beautiful 316 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,560 in here. 317 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:44,541 Hi, Dex. 318 00:15:44,608 --> 00:15:46,441 Hey, how's it goin'? 319 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,730 Mornin', Angie. 320 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,137 Hey, whatcha got there? 321 00:16:02,205 --> 00:16:03,839 You got some mail? 322 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,807 Hi, Lila! 323 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:26,774 Hey. 324 00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:27,808 How ya doin'? 325 00:16:27,876 --> 00:16:29,527 Hey, new look. 326 00:16:30,727 --> 00:16:32,762 Lila and slutty Lila. 327 00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:42,737 Doug, I'm home! 328 00:16:43,805 --> 00:16:44,805 Ow. 329 00:16:45,673 --> 00:16:46,739 Doug? 330 00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:48,808 Hello? 331 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,580 Hey, baby. 332 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,382 I'm headin' out to the club after work tonight. 333 00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,283 Gotta go do the cupid thang again. 334 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,751 Don't wait up. Love you. 335 00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:03,920 Hey, Carrie, it's Lila. 336 00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:06,223 Listen, I was thinking, tomorrow, 337 00:17:06,289 --> 00:17:08,024 let's try to convince Tom in accounting 338 00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:09,691 that I'm you! 339 00:17:09,759 --> 00:17:10,826 Bye! 340 00:17:17,798 --> 00:17:19,150 Hey, look, 341 00:17:19,217 --> 00:17:21,217 this... this singles world, it's a bumpy ride. 342 00:17:21,286 --> 00:17:22,718 But the important thing is, 343 00:17:22,786 --> 00:17:24,620 you're out here tryin', buddy, 344 00:17:24,688 --> 00:17:26,538 and I'm here for you. 345 00:17:29,659 --> 00:17:32,211 Why did you wake me up for this? 346 00:17:32,278 --> 00:17:33,494 You love the club scene. 347 00:17:33,795 --> 00:17:34,545 I do not! 348 00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:36,430 All right? I'm awkward and sweaty, 349 00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:39,298 and many women think I'm in junior high. 350 00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:40,783 Do not do that to yourself. 351 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,435 You, my friend, you're awesome. 352 00:17:43,503 --> 00:17:45,403 Now I have to meet some people at the bar. 353 00:17:45,471 --> 00:17:47,973 You wouldn't like them. They're really not your type. 354 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:49,390 But you, 355 00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:51,009 you're awesome. 356 00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,500 Freaks. 357 00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:04,687 You've never seen the Terminator? 358 00:18:04,754 --> 00:18:06,238 I don't believe you. 359 00:18:06,305 --> 00:18:08,056 Deacon? 360 00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:09,957 Oh, hey, girl. 361 00:18:10,024 --> 00:18:12,392 Hey, what's goin' on? I thought you were goin' out with Doug tonight. 362 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,727 No. Actually, I met someone. I'm hangin' out with Wendy tonight. 363 00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:15,928 Wendy, Carrie. Carrie, Wendy. 364 00:18:15,996 --> 00:18:17,046 Hi. 365 00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:18,129 Hi. 366 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,199 So you're not suffering at the moment? 367 00:18:21,265 --> 00:18:23,067 Suffering? No. 368 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:25,736 I'm a disappointed 'cause they don't have along came a spider, 369 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:26,753 but otherwise... 370 00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:28,020 Right. Right. 371 00:18:28,088 --> 00:18:29,539 What's wrong? 372 00:18:29,606 --> 00:18:31,574 Nothing. I'm just pretty sure I need to go kick cupid's ass. 373 00:18:31,642 --> 00:18:32,842 Excuse me. 374 00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,812 375 00:18:48,839 --> 00:18:51,990 That guy's awesome. He's gonna break the record. 376 00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:06,185 Hi. 377 00:19:06,252 --> 00:19:08,721 Hey, what's goin' on? 378 00:19:08,789 --> 00:19:09,989 Oh, not much. 379 00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:13,124 I just ran into Deacon on a date. 380 00:19:13,192 --> 00:19:14,274 I'm here for Spence. 381 00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:15,777 Oh, will you stop it. 382 00:19:15,845 --> 00:19:17,444 No, it's true. He's single, too. 383 00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,213 He needs me. That's what I do. I help the single. 384 00:19:19,281 --> 00:19:20,546 Where is he? Spence? 385 00:19:20,614 --> 00:19:22,515 Oh, come on. He's outside waiting for a cab. 386 00:19:22,582 --> 00:19:23,932 He said you kept ditchin' him. 387 00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:25,051 He's drunk out of his mind. 388 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,269 Oh, come on! 389 00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:28,036 This isn't about your friends, admit it. 390 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:31,004 This is about you getting your jollies in at nightclubs. 391 00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:32,289 All right, fine. I admit it. 392 00:19:32,357 --> 00:19:34,025 But you sent me here to get my jollies. 393 00:19:34,092 --> 00:19:35,593 No. 394 00:19:35,661 --> 00:19:37,894 I sent you here to help Deacon get his jollies. 395 00:19:37,961 --> 00:19:39,129 Well, it's dark. 396 00:19:39,197 --> 00:19:41,330 Jollies get very mixed up in this place. 397 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,032 And what's the big deal anyway? 398 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,767 So I'm feeling good about myself. 399 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,768 Oh, so what? I'll tell you so what, ok? 400 00:19:46,835 --> 00:19:49,469 You... you... you feelin' good about yourself and me feeling lousy, 401 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:52,473 that's not gonna fly, buddy, so here's how it's gonna go down, ok? 402 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,124 You're gonna hang up your old chain, 403 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,275 you're gonna let your nose hair grow, 404 00:19:56,343 --> 00:20:00,145 and we're gonna go back to sitting on the couch and feeling just ok. 405 00:20:00,213 --> 00:20:02,547 Because that's what marriage is. 406 00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:07,201 All right, fine. I'm comin' back to the couch. 407 00:20:07,268 --> 00:20:09,152 Just gimme a second. I gotta find my keys. 408 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,805 I think they shot out of my pants 409 00:20:10,872 --> 00:20:13,206 when I got rocketed off the bull. 410 00:20:18,377 --> 00:20:21,330 Ok, I definitely know you from somewhere. 411 00:20:21,397 --> 00:20:23,097 Uh... 412 00:20:23,165 --> 00:20:24,565 Actually, I just saw you walk in here, 413 00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:26,883 but I thought you were really, really hot. 414 00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:29,218 You do? Yeah. 415 00:20:29,286 --> 00:20:31,770 So you wanna go out to my van? 416 00:20:31,838 --> 00:20:35,089 Oh, my God. That is so sweet. 417 00:20:35,824 --> 00:20:37,259 But, no, I'm married. 418 00:20:37,327 --> 00:20:38,793 But thank you. 419 00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:39,828 Ok. 420 00:20:39,895 --> 00:20:41,212 Catch you later. 421 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,312 Ok. 422 00:20:42,781 --> 00:20:44,531 Aw. 423 00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:46,666 All right. Let's get outta here. Let's hit the couch. 424 00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:48,000 Um... 425 00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:50,519 You know what, honey? Since we're here, 426 00:20:50,587 --> 00:20:53,688 why don't, why don't we stay for a song? 427 00:20:53,756 --> 00:20:54,938 Are you serious? 428 00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:57,008 Sure. Why not? 429 00:20:57,159 --> 00:20:59,493 All right. I'm warnin' ya. I picked up a few new moves, so don't be scared. 430 00:20:59,561 --> 00:21:01,510 All right, come on. Show me what you're workin' with. 431 00:21:01,578 --> 00:21:02,661 All right. 432 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,229 Come on. Come on. 433 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,465 Oh, boy! Oh, yeah! Shake it. Oh yeah. Watch it. 434 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:08,599 Watch the back. Watch the back. Watch the back. 435 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,968 Oh, yeah, I'm watchin'. I'm watchin'. There you go. 436 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,903 Come on. Oh, yeah. Work it, baby. Work it. 437 00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,205 There it is. There it is. 438 00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,439 Oh, yeah. Wow. 439 00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:22,646 Oh, my God. 440 00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:25,614 That little boy's gonna break the junior record. 30382

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