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1
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,217
There's no better
feeling in the world
2
00:00:08,284 --> 00:00:10,733
than a warm pizza
box on your lap.
3
00:00:11,999 --> 00:00:14,063
I know you love it, baby.
4
00:00:20,959 --> 00:00:23,223
Don't try to take a
slice out, Doug.
5
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:26,221
You'll just get pizza on
yourself and the car.
6
00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:29,618
Just lookin' at her, makin'
sure she's our girl.
7
00:00:29,703 --> 00:00:32,084
Yup, that's Annie may.
8
00:00:32,851 --> 00:00:34,482
She's purty.
9
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,425
Doug! It's just pepperoni!
10
00:00:43,492 --> 00:00:45,457
One piece of pepperoni!
11
00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:53,967
I got pizza on
myself and the car.
12
00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:33,572
Hey. Hi, baby.
13
00:01:33,639 --> 00:01:36,270
We... we should keep gum.
14
00:01:36,338 --> 00:01:37,901
We should have, like,
a whole drawer
15
00:01:37,969 --> 00:01:39,600
just dedicated to gum.
16
00:01:39,619 --> 00:01:42,815
Yeah. Great idea. Doug
Heffernan for president.
17
00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:44,947
Ok, so, I'm just gonna
jump in the shower,
18
00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:46,946
and then we'll, uh,
swing by the bank
19
00:01:47,012 --> 00:01:48,343
and head over to the d.M.V.
20
00:01:48,411 --> 00:01:50,476
D.M.V? You didn't say anything
about going to the d.M.V.
21
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,742
Yeah. I just found out my
license expires on my birthday
22
00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,272
in like 2 weeks.
23
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,605
The bank and the d.M.V?
24
00:01:55,673 --> 00:01:57,388
I've done nothing to hurt you.
25
00:01:57,455 --> 00:01:59,702
Oh, come on. You'll keep
me entertained in line
26
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,634
with all that funny
crap you say.
27
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:05,832
Douglas, I heard
through the grapevine
28
00:02:05,899 --> 00:02:08,330
that, uh, you kids were
doin' some errands.
29
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,728
Would you mind dropping
these bags off
30
00:02:10,796 --> 00:02:12,327
at goodwill for me?
31
00:02:12,394 --> 00:02:14,075
Yeah, sure.
32
00:02:14,143 --> 00:02:15,707
I've inflated the
value of everything
33
00:02:15,775 --> 00:02:17,790
I'm donating by 50%.
34
00:02:17,857 --> 00:02:19,172
Take that, Johnny I.R.S.
35
00:02:20,671 --> 00:02:22,319
I'm sure the poor will
really appreciate
36
00:02:22,387 --> 00:02:24,202
your used underwear.
37
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,982
I only hope it serves them
as well as it served me.
38
00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:29,132
Hold on a second.
39
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,729
You're donating
some of our stuff.
40
00:02:30,797 --> 00:02:33,295
Oh, Carrie put some
things in there.
41
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:35,293
Wait a second. This is
the jacket I gave her
42
00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:36,492
on our last anniversary.
43
00:02:36,559 --> 00:02:38,508
Let me see.
44
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,322
Yowza, that's a doozy.
45
00:02:42,922 --> 00:02:44,021
What are you talking about?
46
00:02:44,089 --> 00:02:45,220
It's a great jacket.
47
00:02:45,287 --> 00:02:46,786
Great if you like to wear things
48
00:02:46,852 --> 00:02:49,133
that are extremely ugly.
49
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,266
What's up with this?
50
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,763
This is the necklace I gave her.
51
00:02:54,114 --> 00:02:56,577
It's a nice necklace, ok?
It was very expensive.
52
00:02:56,645 --> 00:02:58,910
Douglas, I hope I'm not
betraying Carrie's confidence
53
00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,741
when I say she told me
she hates every gift
54
00:03:01,808 --> 00:03:04,706
you've ever given her.
55
00:03:04,773 --> 00:03:06,503
You don't know what
you're talkin' about.
56
00:03:06,571 --> 00:03:08,368
Oh, don't I? She may
open your gifts
57
00:03:08,436 --> 00:03:09,835
with a smile on her face,
58
00:03:09,903 --> 00:03:11,983
but she's dead behind the eyes.
59
00:03:18,613 --> 00:03:20,810
Hangin' at the d.M.V.
60
00:03:22,042 --> 00:03:24,774
The dumuv.
61
00:03:26,107 --> 00:03:27,405
I was, uh, wondering,
62
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:30,170
anything special you want for
your birthday this year?
63
00:03:30,238 --> 00:03:32,301
Oh. Uh, no, not really.
64
00:03:32,369 --> 00:03:33,800
You don't have to
get me anything,
65
00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:34,932
just your love.
66
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,265
That's sweet.
67
00:03:37,332 --> 00:03:38,630
Hey, speaking of presents,
68
00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:40,596
remember that necklace
I got you last year?
69
00:03:40,664 --> 00:03:42,362
You know, the one with the...
the beads?
70
00:03:42,429 --> 00:03:44,726
How come you never wear that?
71
00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,459
I wear that.
72
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,089
You do? Yup.
73
00:03:48,157 --> 00:03:50,288
Really? When?
74
00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:52,355
Um, usually just at work.
75
00:03:52,422 --> 00:03:53,486
Next.
76
00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:55,951
Hi. I'm renewing.
77
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,183
Ok.
78
00:03:57,251 --> 00:03:58,348
Please look into the machine.
79
00:03:58,416 --> 00:03:59,648
Read the third line down.
80
00:03:59,716 --> 00:04:02,580
Ok, that's, um...
81
00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:07,526
"Y, e, d,"
82
00:04:07,594 --> 00:04:10,674
"h", and, uh...
83
00:04:10,741 --> 00:04:12,156
Is that a... is
that a dollar sign?
84
00:04:12,224 --> 00:04:15,054
Are those in there now?
85
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,369
Do you wear glasses
or contact lenses
86
00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:18,902
you don't have in right now?
87
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:19,900
Um, I have glasses,
88
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,649
but I don't need them to drive.
89
00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:24,764
I can see fine. It's
"y, e, d, h"...
90
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,395
Dollar sign.
91
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:28,745
Ok, I'm gonna have
to Mark you down
92
00:04:28,813 --> 00:04:30,609
with a "one" for
corrective lenses.
93
00:04:30,744 --> 00:04:32,824
I don't need glasses
to drive, ok?
94
00:04:32,892 --> 00:04:34,789
Not a whole lot of
little tiny eye charts
95
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,088
on the side of the road there.
96
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:38,554
I mean, ask my husband.
Am I not a great driver?
97
00:04:41,552 --> 00:04:44,267
You have your own style.
98
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:46,848
Excuse me. Come here for a second.
Come here.
99
00:04:46,915 --> 00:04:49,412
What is your problem? Could
you just back me up here?
100
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,828
Back you up?
101
00:04:50,979 --> 00:04:52,543
They're telling you you
need glasses to drive.
102
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:55,441
They're the department
of driving.
103
00:04:55,509 --> 00:04:56,839
I'm kind of with
them on this one.
104
00:04:56,907 --> 00:04:58,505
But I already need them to read.
105
00:04:58,573 --> 00:05:00,504
I don't want to wear
them all the time.
106
00:05:00,572 --> 00:05:02,868
They make me feel old.
Next thing you know,
107
00:05:02,937 --> 00:05:04,968
they'll be hanging on a
chain around my neck.
108
00:05:05,036 --> 00:05:07,299
I'll have the flab thing
goin' on over here.
109
00:05:07,366 --> 00:05:11,145
So you'll feel old, but
pedestrians will live.
110
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:13,961
Fine.
111
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,571
Hello.
112
00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:25,536
Uh. I can't do this.
113
00:05:27,135 --> 00:05:28,501
You know what you should've got?
114
00:05:28,568 --> 00:05:29,933
You should've got
yourself a pair
115
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,763
of those cat-eye contacts
like in the thriller video.
116
00:05:34,364 --> 00:05:35,428
Huh?
117
00:05:35,497 --> 00:05:37,960
Could you just not look at me?
118
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:40,792
All right. Could I
get to the sink?
119
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:42,389
You know Deacon's kids?
120
00:05:42,457 --> 00:05:44,988
They got that new wild
Berry-flavored toothpaste.
121
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,020
I tried it. You know what it is?
122
00:05:47,088 --> 00:05:48,686
It's wild!
123
00:05:50,069 --> 00:05:51,234
Could you also not speak
124
00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:53,332
and maybe leave?
125
00:05:53,399 --> 00:05:54,730
Yeah, well, this
will cheer you up.
126
00:05:54,798 --> 00:05:55,830
Everybody I invited
127
00:05:55,899 --> 00:05:57,264
is comin' to your
birthday party.
128
00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:59,727
And you're gonna
love your present...
129
00:05:59,795 --> 00:06:02,159
As soon as you tell me
what I should get you.
130
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,357
I don't know. I can't
focus on that right now.
131
00:06:04,425 --> 00:06:06,023
Ok, you know what? I can't...
132
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:08,022
I can't... I'm not gonna...
I can't wear these.
133
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:10,187
I'm just gonna have to
go with my glasses.
134
00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:13,251
Well, I think you look
adorable in them.
135
00:06:13,319 --> 00:06:15,366
Aw, do you?
136
00:06:16,649 --> 00:06:19,079
Get out of here before
I kick your ass.
137
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:23,394
Guess who!
138
00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:29,372
Still not gettin' it.
139
00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:32,771
Hey!
140
00:06:32,838 --> 00:06:34,037
Hi. Guess what?
141
00:06:34,104 --> 00:06:36,035
I finally got you the
greatest birthday present
142
00:06:36,102 --> 00:06:37,300
in the entire world.
143
00:06:37,368 --> 00:06:38,700
I know it's a few days early,
144
00:06:38,768 --> 00:06:42,097
but I give you the
gift of sight.
145
00:06:44,962 --> 00:06:46,826
What? Open it up, open it up.
146
00:06:48,927 --> 00:06:50,390
Laser eye surgery?
147
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,221
Laser eye surgery!
148
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,886
One and a half minutes on each
eye, and, bam, you're cured.
149
00:06:55,954 --> 00:06:58,952
No glasses, no contacts.
Just perfect vision.
150
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:01,782
Yeah, I know a few
people who got this.
151
00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:03,814
And I took care of
everything with your boss.
152
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,147
I got you 4 days off to recover
153
00:07:05,214 --> 00:07:07,245
even though most people are
good to go the next day.
154
00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:10,842
But definitely by your party,
you're lookin' at 20-20.
155
00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:13,707
So?
156
00:07:13,775 --> 00:07:15,573
Wow. Well, it'd be great
157
00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:17,303
not to have to wear glasses.
158
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:18,437
Yeah!
159
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,536
But eye surgery.
160
00:07:22,935 --> 00:07:24,465
Isn't that kind of risky?
161
00:07:24,534 --> 00:07:26,664
Risky? Well, let
me just read you
162
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:29,496
a list of those people who were
willing to take that risk.
163
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:33,026
Brad Pitt, hmm?
Big-time movie star.
164
00:07:33,093 --> 00:07:36,424
Not too big for
Lasik, though, is he?
165
00:07:36,492 --> 00:07:38,922
Former defense secretary
William Cohen.
166
00:07:39,773 --> 00:07:41,238
I'm a huge fan.
167
00:07:43,286 --> 00:07:44,784
Kenny g. Kenny g, Carrie.
168
00:07:44,852 --> 00:07:46,783
You think Kenny g. Would
risk going blind?
169
00:07:46,851 --> 00:07:48,615
His eyes are his living!
170
00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:50,014
He's a musician.
171
00:07:50,081 --> 00:07:52,013
Aren't a lot of them blind?
172
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,395
Come on, are you gonna do it?
173
00:07:53,462 --> 00:07:54,593
I don't know.
174
00:07:54,661 --> 00:07:57,791
Come on, you gonna do it?
I don't know!
175
00:07:57,858 --> 00:07:59,756
You're not gonna do it, are you?
176
00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:01,772
It's just... It's eye surgery.
177
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,704
You know, that's
surgery on your eyes.
178
00:08:06,303 --> 00:08:07,501
Damn it.
179
00:08:07,569 --> 00:08:09,533
I just... I really thought
I pulled it off this time.
180
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,799
What are you talkin' about?
181
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,031
You reject all my presents.
182
00:08:13,098 --> 00:08:15,395
What? That's not true!
183
00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:17,960
Yeah? What about the necklace
I got you last year?
184
00:08:18,028 --> 00:08:19,991
You know, the one you "wear."
185
00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,123
I found it in the goodwill bag.
186
00:08:23,191 --> 00:08:25,721
Oh. No, no, no, no.
I did wear that.
187
00:08:25,789 --> 00:08:28,020
I wore it so much,
I wore it out.
188
00:08:28,087 --> 00:08:29,551
You know what? It's
fine, you know.
189
00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:30,950
I'll just... I'll
call the doctor
190
00:08:31,018 --> 00:08:33,382
and I'll... I'll
cancel everything, ok?
191
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:35,514
Honey, it's just that, you know,
192
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,680
that's a necklace. This is...
this is surgery.
193
00:08:37,747 --> 00:08:39,611
I just thought I'd
finally found something
194
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,677
you'd really love and you...
you needed,
195
00:08:41,744 --> 00:08:44,392
and I just thought it'd be
real special, that's all.
196
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,372
You know what? It...
it is special, honey.
197
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,038
It is special. I-I'm
gonna go for it.
198
00:08:49,105 --> 00:08:50,369
Really? Yes.
199
00:08:50,437 --> 00:08:52,118
Yes!
200
00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:55,183
Wait till you see the surprise
I get you for Christmas.
201
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,049
I'm not gonna tell
you what it is,
202
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,547
but you're gonna
need a bigger bra.
203
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,940
I can't believe I'm
actually doing this.
204
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:10,239
Perfect vision by your birthday.
205
00:09:10,307 --> 00:09:11,904
It's gonna be awesome.
206
00:09:13,337 --> 00:09:14,502
Hey, look.
207
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:16,534
Little baby with glasses.
208
00:09:17,951 --> 00:09:20,315
Wonder if he does the
other baby's taxes.
209
00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:23,478
Carrie Heffernan?
210
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:24,744
That's me.
211
00:09:24,812 --> 00:09:26,443
You can follow me to
the prep room now.
212
00:09:26,511 --> 00:09:29,508
Ok. Well, this is it.
213
00:09:29,575 --> 00:09:30,908
Hey, listen, uh,
214
00:09:30,975 --> 00:09:33,305
since you're gonna be
seeing clear from now on,
215
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,537
I feel I should warn you.
216
00:09:35,605 --> 00:09:37,269
I'm a little overweight.
217
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,831
Ok, honey, ok. I gotta go.
All right. Bye.
218
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:42,899
Ok.
219
00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:44,830
Hey, Happy Birthday, baby!
220
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:06,182
Doug, wake up.
221
00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:07,447
Hmm? Hmm.
222
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,079
You're totally blurry.
223
00:10:10,146 --> 00:10:11,461
Really?
224
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,142
All right. Well, it's
just the first day.
225
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:15,424
They said there could
be some side effects.
226
00:10:15,525 --> 00:10:17,773
It's totally normal.
227
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,234
Still blurry, Doug.
228
00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:27,898
Still normal.
229
00:10:32,613 --> 00:10:34,110
Normal.
230
00:10:46,419 --> 00:10:48,717
I still can't see, Doug.
231
00:10:48,784 --> 00:10:50,949
It's 2 days before my birthday,
232
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,948
and I still can't see.
233
00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:54,745
Does it say anything
in the brochure
234
00:10:54,813 --> 00:10:56,278
about how long it took Kenny g
235
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:57,943
to see normally?
236
00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:01,807
I think he was just
mentioned the one time.
237
00:11:01,874 --> 00:11:03,473
So it's exactly the same?
238
00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:05,004
I mean, give me a status report.
239
00:11:05,071 --> 00:11:06,537
Is everything still cloudy?
240
00:11:06,605 --> 00:11:09,802
No, no. Today,
everything's doubled,
241
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,383
and all light looks
like hazy starbursts.
242
00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:15,414
I gotta tell you, car,
243
00:11:15,481 --> 00:11:17,763
that sounds pretty
freakin' cool.
244
00:11:21,678 --> 00:11:24,374
Yeah. Being blind is awesome.
245
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:26,073
I'm just trying to
lighten things up.
246
00:11:26,141 --> 00:11:27,971
The doctor said it may
take some time, huh?
247
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,071
We're still in that range.
248
00:11:29,139 --> 00:11:30,370
Let's not freak out.
249
00:11:30,438 --> 00:11:31,735
And that toaster's on.
250
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,399
Douglas.
251
00:11:36,732 --> 00:11:39,330
Hello, darling, it's your daddy!
252
00:11:40,763 --> 00:11:42,861
Hi, dad.
253
00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:45,309
I'm standing right next to you,
254
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,873
and I'm going to kiss
you good morning.
255
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,855
Don't be startled.
256
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:53,336
Thank you. Thank you.
257
00:11:53,404 --> 00:11:55,069
That was lovely.
258
00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:56,367
Now I need some coffee.
259
00:11:56,435 --> 00:11:57,766
You know what? Here, let me...
260
00:11:57,834 --> 00:11:59,265
Don't help her!
261
00:12:01,132 --> 00:12:02,380
If she's gonna survive,
262
00:12:02,447 --> 00:12:05,378
she needs to learn to
live with her disability.
263
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,907
I told you, she's gonna be fine.
264
00:12:09,975 --> 00:12:12,374
She's blind, damn it!
265
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,904
And you're gonna make her soft
266
00:12:14,972 --> 00:12:17,536
and get her killed.
267
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,200
Ok, the both of you...
268
00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:20,783
Just... you need to shut up, ok?
269
00:12:20,851 --> 00:12:23,013
Because you're totally
stressing me out.
270
00:12:23,015 --> 00:12:24,463
I'm gonna call the
doctor to make sure
271
00:12:24,531 --> 00:12:26,862
this is really normal. Ok,
I can't find the phone.
272
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:28,145
Here, let me get it.
I'll get it.
273
00:12:28,211 --> 00:12:29,344
Don't help her!
274
00:12:29,411 --> 00:12:30,675
Shut off!
275
00:12:37,272 --> 00:12:39,768
Yeah, hi, this is,
uh, Doug Heffernan.
276
00:12:39,836 --> 00:12:42,001
Is Dr. whitehorn available?
277
00:12:42,069 --> 00:12:43,800
Yeah. Sure, I'll hold.
278
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:45,998
Yeah, hello? Yeah.
279
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,464
Uh, yeah, my wife was in there
280
00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:49,861
for laser eye surgery
about 5 days ago,
281
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:52,028
and she's still not
seeing all that well.
282
00:12:52,095 --> 00:12:53,492
Is that normal?
283
00:12:55,491 --> 00:12:57,206
Oh, ok.
284
00:12:57,274 --> 00:13:00,004
Thank you, thank you very much.
Ok.
285
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,936
You're gonna be fine.
It's totally normal.
286
00:13:03,637 --> 00:13:05,584
He said it wasn't normal.
287
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,031
When I told him it
had been 5 days,
288
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:11,645
he actually said, "huh!"
289
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,508
You do not want to hear "huh"
from your eye surgeon.
290
00:13:17,575 --> 00:13:19,074
I know.
291
00:13:19,142 --> 00:13:21,471
He said if she didn't get better by...
by tomorrow,
292
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,204
he'd have to go back
in there and fix it.
293
00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:27,618
Like go back into her eyes?
294
00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:31,880
Actually, I think they use
the same incision line...
295
00:13:31,948 --> 00:13:33,179
Stop, man. They... no.
296
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,879
Then they cut open a flap,
297
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,561
and they slip in
under the cornea...
298
00:13:36,628 --> 00:13:37,993
Would you stop it?
299
00:13:38,061 --> 00:13:39,092
It's what they do.
300
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,291
I don't care what they do.
301
00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:43,289
I don't want to hear
about an eye flap. Damn!
302
00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:45,855
Why did I do this?
303
00:13:45,922 --> 00:13:48,519
I told you to get her
the foot massager.
304
00:13:48,587 --> 00:13:51,350
Why didn't you get her
the foot massager?
305
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:53,216
I thought about it,
but then I was like,
306
00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:55,531
"when is she really
gonna use this?"
307
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:57,696
So, I decided to
blind her instead.
308
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,810
Hey, you know who else is blind?
309
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:03,508
This ref! Am I right?
310
00:14:10,904 --> 00:14:12,467
Birthday party!
311
00:14:12,536 --> 00:14:14,900
B-day part-ay!
312
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:16,932
Part-ay!
313
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,029
Party on down to birthday town.
314
00:14:20,097 --> 00:14:23,543
I'm a prisoner in my own body.
315
00:14:23,611 --> 00:14:26,109
Come on, let's... let's get you ready.
Let's paint your face up.
316
00:14:26,176 --> 00:14:28,372
You're always happy when
you paint your face up.
317
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,221
I can't see. How am I
gonna put my makeup on?
318
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:33,336
Well, hey, that's what
I'm here for, huh?
319
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:34,735
Let me work my magic.
320
00:14:34,803 --> 00:14:36,001
Come on,
321
00:14:36,069 --> 00:14:38,699
let's stroll out over
to the goop zone.
322
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:43,113
All right, you know,
I'll come to you.
323
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:45,611
That's fine. We'll, uh,
we'll start with the lips.
324
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:48,009
Whoa. Mac.
325
00:14:48,077 --> 00:14:49,841
I'm your "Mac" daddy.
326
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,635
There we go.
327
00:14:57,703 --> 00:15:00,133
Jeez, I feel... feel
a little bit like
328
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,833
a serial killer.
329
00:15:03,899 --> 00:15:05,830
Pretty.
330
00:15:08,312 --> 00:15:10,309
You look so pretty.
331
00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:12,858
Pretty little...
332
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,321
Pretty.
333
00:15:15,389 --> 00:15:16,888
All right, all right.
You know what?
334
00:15:16,956 --> 00:15:17,987
This is insane.
335
00:15:18,054 --> 00:15:19,752
Why am I even having a party?
336
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,585
I can't friggin' see.
337
00:15:21,651 --> 00:15:23,484
The doctor said I would
be better by today.
338
00:15:23,552 --> 00:15:25,564
How come I'm not better?
339
00:15:26,765 --> 00:15:29,396
Actually, now that
you bring it up,
340
00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:31,827
he did mention
341
00:15:31,895 --> 00:15:33,425
that he might have
get back in there
342
00:15:33,493 --> 00:15:34,859
and do the operation again.
343
00:15:34,926 --> 00:15:36,057
Hold still now.
344
00:15:36,124 --> 00:15:37,890
What? Another operation?
345
00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:39,672
How come you didn't
say anything?
346
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,202
That was a worst-case scenario.
347
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:43,003
Oh, so I'm a
worst-case scenario?
348
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,834
Oh, my... I can't believe I
let you talk me into this.
349
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,332
Honey, look, you're
gonna be fine.
350
00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:48,832
I'll take you back
there tomorrow,
351
00:15:48,899 --> 00:15:50,563
and they'll take care of you.
352
00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:52,029
And today, we got a great
party for you, huh?
353
00:15:52,097 --> 00:15:53,560
It'll take your
mind off of things.
354
00:15:53,629 --> 00:15:54,960
No, it won't. What do you think?
355
00:15:55,028 --> 00:15:57,375
Halfway through I'm gonna
forget I can't see?
356
00:15:57,442 --> 00:15:58,990
You don't need to see to enjoy.
357
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,089
You still have 5 other senses.
358
00:16:01,622 --> 00:16:03,903
5 other senses?
359
00:16:03,971 --> 00:16:06,086
There are only 5 senses total.
360
00:16:06,153 --> 00:16:08,317
No, there are 6.
361
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,716
No, there are 5.
362
00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:11,847
Ok, fine. What about the
movie the sixth sense?
363
00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:13,447
Huh? You think they
were just wrong?
364
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,212
An entire film
company, just wrong.
365
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,242
The... the... the point is,
366
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:21,108
your friends, they
wanna see you.
367
00:16:21,176 --> 00:16:22,972
I mean, they love you.
368
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,404
And I... I... I love you.
Come on, now. Come on.
369
00:16:28,719 --> 00:16:30,167
Fine.
370
00:16:30,235 --> 00:16:32,383
There you go.
371
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:35,347
You know, I think this blindness
372
00:16:35,414 --> 00:16:39,544
actually softens you
a little, you know?
373
00:16:39,612 --> 00:16:41,577
It makes you more approachable
374
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,740
like Marlee Matlin.
375
00:16:44,741 --> 00:16:45,840
She's very hot,
376
00:16:45,907 --> 00:16:47,538
but the deaf thing
makes you think,
377
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,586
"mmm, I could get her."
378
00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:56,566
♪ Happy Birthday, dear Carrie ♪
379
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:01,562
♪ Happy Birthday to you
380
00:17:03,029 --> 00:17:04,992
I'm gonna set this here.
381
00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:08,890
Whoa, whoa, watch yourself.
Now, that... that's fire.
382
00:17:08,957 --> 00:17:10,622
All right, honey, just...
just blow now.
383
00:17:10,689 --> 00:17:11,687
Ok.
384
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:19,216
Thank you, everyone, for coming.
385
00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:21,214
I know this is a little weird.
386
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,011
It's great.
387
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,043
Oh, I'll, uh, I'll
serve this up.
388
00:17:27,111 --> 00:17:29,375
Ok, thanks, sweetie.
389
00:17:33,739 --> 00:17:34,871
Uh, ahem,
390
00:17:34,938 --> 00:17:36,469
you're Carrie's boss, right?
391
00:17:36,637 --> 00:17:37,652
I sure am.
392
00:17:37,719 --> 00:17:39,051
I don't want you cutting her
393
00:17:39,118 --> 00:17:42,314
any slack at work
because she's blind.
394
00:17:42,382 --> 00:17:45,813
Reprimand her just as hard
as you would anyone else.
395
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:47,745
If necessary,
396
00:17:47,813 --> 00:17:50,176
I will make her
life a living hell.
397
00:17:50,244 --> 00:17:52,442
God bless you.
398
00:17:52,508 --> 00:17:53,873
How about opening some presents?
399
00:17:53,941 --> 00:17:55,040
Yeah.
400
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:56,438
All right, here we go.
401
00:17:56,505 --> 00:17:58,170
Oh, oh, that one's from, uh, me.
402
00:17:58,238 --> 00:17:59,370
From Spence.
403
00:17:59,438 --> 00:18:01,001
Oh, thank you.
404
00:18:01,069 --> 00:18:02,266
Ok.
405
00:18:02,802 --> 00:18:03,899
Hey.
406
00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:05,565
Hey, nice, Spence.
407
00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:06,797
Hey, what is it?
408
00:18:06,864 --> 00:18:08,095
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
409
00:18:08,163 --> 00:18:09,829
It's a... It's a
beautiful red sweater.
410
00:18:09,896 --> 00:18:11,028
Feel that. Feels nice, huh?
411
00:18:11,095 --> 00:18:12,226
Feel that.
412
00:18:12,294 --> 00:18:13,859
Oh, well, thank you, Spence.
413
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,758
Oh, I'm over here now.
414
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:16,956
Marco!
415
00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:20,288
This one's from me.
416
00:18:20,356 --> 00:18:22,053
From Kim from the office.
417
00:18:22,121 --> 00:18:23,385
Ok. Ok.
418
00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:29,448
Oh, wow! It's a beautiful
book of nature photographs.
419
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:35,277
Sorry.
420
00:18:35,344 --> 00:18:37,009
Ok, you know what?
421
00:18:37,077 --> 00:18:39,274
Everybody just talk
amongst yourselves, ok?
422
00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:41,339
Party like I can see fine.
423
00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:43,053
Ok.
424
00:18:44,854 --> 00:18:46,118
I gotta tell you, Carrie,
425
00:18:46,186 --> 00:18:48,250
I am shocked at the problems
426
00:18:48,317 --> 00:18:50,048
you're having with your surgery.
427
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:51,615
I feel awful.
428
00:18:51,682 --> 00:18:53,413
Oh. Thank you, Mr. Pruzan,
but it's not your fault.
429
00:18:53,481 --> 00:18:54,846
Well, I feel like it is.
430
00:18:54,912 --> 00:18:57,344
I mean, I was the one who
recommended you to go to Dr. Burns.
431
00:18:57,412 --> 00:19:00,858
When he did my eyes, I was
skeet shooting that afternoon.
432
00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:02,207
I didn't go to a Dr. Burns.
433
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,473
I never heard of a Dr. Burns.
434
00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:05,138
I told Doug about him
435
00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:07,303
when he called to ask
for your time off.
436
00:19:07,371 --> 00:19:08,569
What happened?
437
00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:11,118
I thought you were
gonna go with my guy.
438
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,316
There are a lot of places.
439
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:15,080
Where'd you end up going?
440
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,495
We went to, uh...
441
00:19:18,563 --> 00:19:20,111
Vision village.
442
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,308
Doug, can I talk to you
privately for a second?
443
00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:29,354
Pruzan told you about
a great doctor?
444
00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:32,017
Yeah. He told me about his guy,
445
00:19:32,085 --> 00:19:34,583
but I thought we
should go another way.
446
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:37,548
Go another way. Hmm.
447
00:19:38,715 --> 00:19:40,428
Watch out, honey!
448
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,861
Could you just calm down?
449
00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:44,993
Look, the guy he recommended
was in Manhattan.
450
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,557
You go in there,
you're just paying
451
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:47,924
for the bells and the whistles.
452
00:19:47,992 --> 00:19:49,723
Mmm-hmm. Is sight a
bell or a whistle?
453
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:52,186
The place we went
to seemed fine.
454
00:19:52,255 --> 00:19:53,653
They were certified.
455
00:19:53,721 --> 00:19:55,501
I got the certification inside.
You want to see it?
456
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,284
I'd like to see a
lot of things, hon.
457
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:59,799
I'm just... I'm just
sayin' it seemed fine, ok?
458
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,863
I mean, the brochure,
it was beautiful,
459
00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,663
and I... I got the
coupon in the mail.
460
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,461
A coupon?
461
00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:09,957
I cannot believe you used
a coupon for my surgery?
462
00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:11,622
How could you go to a place
463
00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:12,988
that even offered a coupon?
464
00:20:13,056 --> 00:20:14,854
How much did you save, Doug?
465
00:20:14,921 --> 00:20:16,186
I don't want to say now.
466
00:20:16,254 --> 00:20:18,501
I wanna know how much you saved.
467
00:20:20,284 --> 00:20:22,080
Half off the second eye.
468
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,746
Half off the second eye.
469
00:20:25,814 --> 00:20:27,012
That's wonderful.
470
00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:28,211
You know what, sweetie?
471
00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:29,976
Next time you want
to give me a gift,
472
00:20:30,044 --> 00:20:31,242
just hand me a $100 bill,
473
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:32,507
and stay the hell away from me.
474
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,039
Ok, Carrie, you
know, I get it, ok?
475
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,406
All my gifts suck, ok?
476
00:20:35,473 --> 00:20:36,805
Why don't you just
throw your eyeballs
477
00:20:36,872 --> 00:20:38,187
in the goodwill bag?
478
00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:40,285
Oh, I cannot believe
479
00:20:40,353 --> 00:20:43,283
you are still trying to make
me feel guilty about this.
480
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,832
Yeah, well, you
hurt my feelings!
481
00:20:44,899 --> 00:20:45,665
Well, you blinded me!
482
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:47,147
So we're even!
483
00:20:50,479 --> 00:20:51,760
Ok, here we go.
484
00:20:51,828 --> 00:20:54,057
Wow. Pruzan's guy
485
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:55,424
even uses nicer bandages.
486
00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:57,390
All right. Could you
just get it off please?
487
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,655
I will. Relax, ok?
488
00:20:58,722 --> 00:20:59,820
Everything's gonna be fine.
489
00:20:59,888 --> 00:21:01,186
Ok.
490
00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:08,448
Here we go.
491
00:21:11,946 --> 00:21:13,044
I can see.
492
00:21:13,112 --> 00:21:14,627
I can see everything clearly.
493
00:21:14,694 --> 00:21:16,892
Oh, my God, this is fantastic!
494
00:21:16,959 --> 00:21:18,258
Ok.
495
00:21:20,956 --> 00:21:22,322
Apology accepted.
496
00:21:32,432 --> 00:21:34,097
There's no better
feeling in the world
497
00:21:34,165 --> 00:21:35,727
than a warm bag of
Chinese take-out
498
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,261
on your lap.
499
00:21:37,328 --> 00:21:40,674
I thought there was no
better feeling than pizza.
500
00:21:40,741 --> 00:21:42,789
Now it's Chinese.
501
00:21:43,556 --> 00:21:44,721
Ok.
502
00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:59,245
I got egg roll on
myself and the car.
34512
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