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1
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,673
(slow rock music)
2
00:00:21,807 --> 00:00:24,107
♪ Bad ♪
3
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,246
♪ Bad ♪
4
00:00:26,246 --> 00:00:28,609
♪ Bad ♪
5
00:00:28,609 --> 00:00:33,609
(slow rock music continues)
(audience cheers)
6
00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:47,783
(audience cheers)
7
00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:55,549
(slow bluesy music)
(flames crackling)
8
00:01:00,022 --> 00:01:02,479
(slow bluesy music continues)
9
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,396
(flames crackling)
10
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:12,533
(slow bluesy music continues)
11
00:01:14,523 --> 00:01:17,440
(flames crackling)
12
00:01:19,105 --> 00:01:22,938
(slow bluesy music continues)
13
00:01:33,957 --> 00:01:36,624
(traffic roars)
14
00:01:43,266 --> 00:01:45,779
(baby cries)
15
00:01:45,779 --> 00:01:47,820
- Jesus Christ.
16
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:52,170
- Look at him, look
what it did to his face.
17
00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:53,070
- I thought you said Fab.
18
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:56,250
- Snowy, I said Snowy.
19
00:01:56,250 --> 00:02:00,270
Fab, Snowy, Snowy, Fab, it
doesn't even sound the same.
20
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:02,700
One comes in a red box, the
other one comes in a blue box.
21
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:04,830
Now he's got a rash all over his ass.
22
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:06,660
- I said I'm sorry.
23
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,890
- You can remember Mickey
Mantle's 1963 slugging percentage,
24
00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:11,910
you got it on the tip of your tongue,
25
00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:13,650
but you can't walk two blocks
without forgetting a list
26
00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:15,900
that reads butter, coma, Snowy.
27
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,880
Married fucking Rain Man.
28
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,580
It's like the paint, I tell
you the exact color to get.
29
00:02:20,580 --> 00:02:21,570
All you had to do was go down
30
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:24,420
to the hardware store and pick it up.
31
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,580
- Dad, can I watch "Reservoir Dogs"?
32
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,413
- Sure, honey.
33
00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:29,147
- No!
34
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:30,774
- [Lisa] Spic.
35
00:02:30,774 --> 00:02:33,286
- Did you hear what she just said?
36
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,033
You are in big trouble.
37
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:35,866
- [Lisa] No!
38
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:37,398
- Do you hear me, young lady?
39
00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:38,424
(traffic roars)
40
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:39,945
You know, yesterday they
called me from school
41
00:02:39,945 --> 00:02:41,580
to tell me she was going
around saying the C word
42
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:44,600
to all the other kids. (faintly speaking)
43
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,060
(slow jazzy music continues)
44
00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:48,893
Jake?
45
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:51,571
Jake.
46
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,170
(baby coos)
47
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,660
Well, just gotta do it myself,
48
00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:56,303
like everything else around here.
49
00:02:57,453 --> 00:02:59,518
Yep, just talking to myself,
50
00:02:59,518 --> 00:03:00,840
talking to the walls, the mauve walls.
51
00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:05,061
(slow bluesy music)
52
00:03:13,345 --> 00:03:15,810
With mauve paint, I hate
mauve, but, you know,
53
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:17,970
now at least the kitchen
matches the baby's ass,
54
00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,920
isn't that nice?
55
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,574
Life with Jake.
56
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:25,407
(slow bluesy music continues)
57
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,339
(furniture clatters)
58
00:03:31,339 --> 00:03:35,755
Lisa, Lisa, open up the door right now!
59
00:03:35,755 --> 00:03:36,588
Lisa!
60
00:03:37,564 --> 00:03:41,397
(slow bluesy music continues)
61
00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:55,537
- How you doing, Jimmy?
62
00:03:56,474 --> 00:03:57,420
You know how much that
prick makes an hour?
63
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,253
- No.
64
00:03:58,253 --> 00:03:59,086
- 25 bucks.
- Jesus.
65
00:03:59,086 --> 00:03:59,940
- Do you believe that shit?
66
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,260
- Oh my God.
67
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:02,220
- What the hell is all this?
68
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:03,320
- I don't know.
69
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,320
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy
boy, what's all this?
70
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,153
- Excuse me?
71
00:04:08,153 --> 00:04:09,510
- You're not just gonna leave
all this stuff down here
72
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,890
in the middle of the floor, are you?
73
00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:11,747
- [Vice President] Yes, I am.
74
00:04:11,747 --> 00:04:14,280
- Oh, yeah, well, I can
almost personally guarantee
75
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,510
you're not because I'm head-
76
00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:17,010
- I'm senior vice
president of Acquisitions
77
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,270
and I will leave my gear here
78
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:20,913
and you will watch it
until I come back down.
79
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,960
- Yes, sir.
(elevator dings)
80
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,560
- Put your fucking hats back on.
81
00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:33,983
- Ass wipe.
82
00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:38,063
You ever skied?
83
00:04:38,063 --> 00:04:38,896
- Yeah, once.
84
00:04:38,896 --> 00:04:40,530
- Not me, I gotta get
down from snowy mountain,
85
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,967
I'll take a fucking sled.
86
00:04:41,967 --> 00:04:43,590
- Well, a lot of nice looking broads
87
00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:45,090
go skiing, Christie Brinkley.
88
00:04:45,090 --> 00:04:46,480
- Christie Brinkley, she's
45 fucking years old.
89
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,880
- She's 42.
90
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:48,713
- Big difference, Jake.
91
00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:50,887
- The point is, you get up there,
92
00:04:50,887 --> 00:04:53,072
you get a nice fire going.
93
00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:54,330
(slow saxophone music)
94
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:58,440
Snuggle up against the cold,
big bottle of champagne on ice,
95
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,820
and you got some fondue,
and the snow's falling-
96
00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:05,163
- Fondue, what the fuck is fondue?
97
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,150
- You know, would it kill you to wait
98
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:14,700
until the coffee's stopped brewing?
99
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:15,650
- Would it kill me?
100
00:05:17,490 --> 00:05:18,323
Possibly.
101
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:25,020
- You know, every time you
blow smoke out the window,
102
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,671
it just blows right back in.
103
00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:27,504
- I know.
104
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,074
- Well, the kids, you know?
105
00:05:31,074 --> 00:05:34,624
- I know.
(television chatters)
106
00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:39,624
(dog barks)
(bus screeches)
107
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,957
(slow jazzy music)
108
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,739
(siren wails)
109
00:06:16,753 --> 00:06:21,753
(traffic roars)
(group chattering)
110
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,387
(slow jazzy music continues)
111
00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:44,915
(Mr. Potter screams)
112
00:06:44,915 --> 00:06:46,742
(horn honks)
(traffic roars)
113
00:06:46,742 --> 00:06:49,242
(Jake knocks)
114
00:06:50,963 --> 00:06:53,221
There's been an accident.
115
00:06:53,221 --> 00:06:54,750
(Sara gasps)
116
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:55,653
I'm sorry, ma'am.
117
00:07:00,948 --> 00:07:03,865
(slow funky music)
118
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:10,680
- You hear what I said?
119
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,330
Just keep putting cream
on the baby's rash.
120
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,400
The babysitter will be here
at three o'clock, right?
121
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,520
You think you can handle that?
122
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,959
- Okay.
123
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:17,792
(door slams)
124
00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:20,125
(baby coos)
125
00:07:26,526 --> 00:07:29,443
(slow funky music)
126
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:49,746
Lisa!
127
00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:50,813
- [Lisa] What?
128
00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:51,871
- We're going to the park.
129
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,475
- [Lisa] No, I don't
want to go to the park.
130
00:07:53,475 --> 00:07:56,432
You can go to the park, no!
131
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,015
No, no, no, no, no!
132
00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:03,999
(slow bluesy music)
(group chattering)
133
00:08:18,401 --> 00:08:21,401
(children shouting)
134
00:08:33,584 --> 00:08:36,144
(Jake laughs)
135
00:08:36,144 --> 00:08:38,561
- He, he likes that, sort of.
136
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:45,599
Okay, pal?
137
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,770
(children shrieking)
138
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:51,390
- [Sara] Is that your little girl?
139
00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:54,210
- Yep, Lisa, cut that out!
140
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,140
Knock it off or I'll come over there
141
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:59,149
and hit you on the side of the
goddamn head, Jesus Christ.
142
00:08:59,149 --> 00:09:00,540
(baby cries)
143
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,373
Sorry, she's.
144
00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:08,435
(children shrieking)
145
00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:11,268
(slow bass music)
146
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:21,357
- [Neil] That's one small step for man,
147
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:26,846
(slow bass music continues)
148
00:09:26,846 --> 00:09:29,096
one giant leap for mankind.
149
00:09:30,158 --> 00:09:33,825
(slow bass music continues)
150
00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:40,773
- [Sara] Excuse me, I think
we live in the same building.
151
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,050
- We do?
152
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,030
- Yeah, I'm Sara Potter.
153
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:45,900
- Nice to meet you.
154
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,000
- [Sara] I met your wife
here last week, Brenda?
155
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:48,833
- Oh.
156
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:49,680
- We were gonna get the girls together
157
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,090
for a play date on Thursday.
158
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:51,923
- She can't.
159
00:09:51,923 --> 00:09:52,980
- [Sara] Oh, well.
160
00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:55,140
- I'm watching the kids Thursday.
161
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:57,273
- Would you like to bring them over?
162
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:03,690
- Sure, sure, great.
(traffic roars)
163
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,523
- [Eddie] What are you, nuts?
164
00:10:04,523 --> 00:10:05,356
- [Jake] What?
165
00:10:05,356 --> 00:10:06,210
- [Eddie] What if she's a psycho?
166
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:07,530
- [Jake] She's not fucking psycho, Jesus.
167
00:10:07,530 --> 00:10:08,880
- [Eddie] Didn't you ever
see "Fatal Attraction"?
168
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,713
- [Jake] No.
169
00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:10,546
- [Eddie] "Basic Instinct"?
170
00:10:10,546 --> 00:10:11,379
- [Jake] No.
171
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,660
- Jesus Christ, "Disclosure,"
172
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:14,730
the whole Michael Douglas fucking trilogy?
173
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,500
Fuck, the guy devoted to his life
174
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,870
to warning other guys not to
fuck around on their wife.
175
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:19,703
Shit, he even had to go
176
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,510
to Sexaholics Anonymous in real life.
177
00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,550
Jesus Christ, read the papers, will you?
178
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,020
Every day they got a goddamn story
179
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,880
about some guy who goes into the park,
180
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,620
meets some broad, goes back to her place,
181
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:29,940
and she fucking stabs him.
182
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,350
- I'm not going over there
to have sex with her,
183
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:32,183
okay, Eddie, Jesus Christ.
184
00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,110
It's a fucking play
date, for Christ's sake.
185
00:10:34,110 --> 00:10:36,210
- Bullshit, Jake, the only
reason why a guy goes over
186
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,620
to some strange girl's apartment is
187
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,390
because he's thinking about fucking her.
188
00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:41,310
We're animals, all we think about is sex.
189
00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,900
Ask me what I'm thinking about right now.
190
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:43,733
- What?
191
00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:44,566
- Pussy.
192
00:10:44,566 --> 00:10:45,480
- Get the fuck out of here.
193
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,557
- [Eddie] Swear to God, look behind you.
194
00:10:52,927 --> 00:10:53,807
- You're shitting me.
195
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:55,080
- I swear to God.
196
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,690
You know them catalogs women
get, Victoria's Secret?
197
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:58,523
- [Jake] Yeah.
198
00:10:58,523 --> 00:10:59,522
- You ever flip through them
199
00:10:59,522 --> 00:11:01,530
and think how sexy the girls
look in their lingerie,
200
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:04,050
or the women in the Sunday
"New York Times" underwear ads?
201
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:06,060
It's better than "Playboy," I mean,
202
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,760
I like "Playboy," but this stuff,
203
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,520
I don't know, sometimes I
look at a painting like this
204
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,500
and I just get rock
fucking hard, you know?
205
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,620
- [Jake] Yeah?
206
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:17,310
- Yeah, (laughs) we're
visual fucking retards, Jake.
207
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:20,340
Women, they like romance,
flowers, knights in shining armor.
208
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:25,050
Us, we like tits, big tits,
small tits, anybody's tits.
209
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,370
You're looking out the
window getting a hard on
210
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,576
over some good looking chick is a given.
211
00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:29,409
It's not because you
212
00:11:29,409 --> 00:11:30,750
and your wife ain't
getting along this week,
213
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:32,370
because you're a fucking guy.
214
00:11:32,370 --> 00:11:33,780
You and your wife could
be in seventh heaven.
215
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,820
You'd make love to her, she'd fall asleep,
216
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,370
and you'd still be staring
out the window getting hard.
217
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:41,283
Besides, this broad is
fucking married with kids.
218
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:42,983
- So?
219
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,780
- So I don't get it, why not look
220
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:47,610
in some single young chick's window?
221
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:50,970
- Because she's different,
she's there, she's, you know,
222
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:53,370
she's like a real, like,
you know, classy broad.
223
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:57,222
- [Eddie] Pool of blood.
224
00:11:57,222 --> 00:11:58,740
- Huh?
225
00:11:58,740 --> 00:11:59,610
- Her husband's gonna come home,
226
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,213
discover the two of you in bed,
227
00:12:01,213 --> 00:12:02,335
he's gonna shoot you in the neck
228
00:12:02,335 --> 00:12:04,766
and the cops are gonna find
you in a pool of blood.
229
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,619
Do me a favor, rent that
fucking Michael Douglas film,
230
00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:08,189
will you, come on.
231
00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:11,189
(slow bluesy music)
232
00:12:40,489 --> 00:12:43,150
(vase shatters)
233
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,567
(baby wails)
234
00:12:47,148 --> 00:12:51,215
(slow bluesy music continues)
235
00:12:51,215 --> 00:12:53,798
(door rattles)
236
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:08,986
(Mr. Potter cries out)
237
00:13:08,986 --> 00:13:12,106
- [Mr. Potter] Son of a bitch.
238
00:13:12,106 --> 00:13:15,023
(slow funky music)
239
00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:18,899
- Come on.
240
00:13:20,336 --> 00:13:21,169
- Honey?
241
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,690
Why don't we get a sitter on Friday night,
242
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:27,642
maybe go to a movie or something?
243
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:28,475
- Okay.
244
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,308
- Hmm?
245
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,141
- Yeah.
246
00:13:30,141 --> 00:13:31,800
- Okay.
247
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,270
- [Eddie] Look, the kid's your cover.
248
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,640
The husband comes home, you
act like it's just a play date.
249
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,600
- [Jake] It is just a play date.
250
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,820
- [Eddie] Yeah, right,
bring a nice bottle of wine,
251
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,700
a little icebreaker, but
don't let your guard down.
252
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:44,343
- [Jake] I don't know,
it's just, you know?
253
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,264
- What an ass on this piece.
254
00:13:49,264 --> 00:13:50,880
(door knocks)
255
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,273
- [Lisa] Hi, honey, I'm home, hi, dear.
256
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,650
- Do you want some coffee or wine?
257
00:13:58,650 --> 00:13:59,883
- No, no, coffee's good.
258
00:14:03,749 --> 00:14:05,100
(slow bluesy music)
259
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,270
- [Sara] Cream and sugar?
260
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:07,773
- Yeah, both, thanks.
261
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:15,180
- [Sara] Where's the baby?
262
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,330
- He's at the sitter's.
263
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,930
- [Sara] Mine's an angel,
264
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,870
sleeps through the night,
naps all afternoon.
265
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:25,703
- Yeah?
266
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,193
Yeah.
267
00:14:35,610 --> 00:14:36,453
That's great.
268
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:41,913
Ours is still waking up a
couple of times a night.
269
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,350
- [Sara] That's hard.
270
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,183
- Yeah.
271
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:55,830
Boy, this place looks
great, I'll tell you.
272
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,380
Before you guys moved in,
it was a real shit hole.
273
00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,850
- [Sara] What'd you say?
274
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:03,933
- Nothing, I said the
place looks terrific,
275
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,083
looks great.
276
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:18,633
So what does your husband do?
277
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,570
- [Sara] My ex-husband.
278
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,770
- [Jake] Oh.
279
00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:24,820
- We're separated, on good terms, though.
280
00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:28,283
Here you go.
281
00:15:28,283 --> 00:15:29,290
- [Jake] Great, thanks.
282
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:31,613
- Sit down.
283
00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:32,760
- Okay.
284
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,270
- It's hard, you know, you meet someone,
285
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,390
you think that's what you
want, and then suddenly,
286
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:43,170
someone else comes along
and your life just changes.
287
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,003
- Yep.
288
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,880
- You try and plan your
life out neat and clean,
289
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,630
but I don't know, life
just doesn't work that way.
290
00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:55,327
There's all these little
(laughs) surprises.
291
00:15:55,327 --> 00:15:57,827
(Jake laughs)
292
00:15:58,742 --> 00:15:59,802
(Jake clears throat)
293
00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:01,372
(Sara moans)
294
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:04,372
(slow bluesy music)
295
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:22,204
Oh, yes.
296
00:16:23,227 --> 00:16:27,060
(slow bluesy music continues)
297
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:34,306
Oh, yes, oh, Jake. (sighs)
298
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,663
So your wife's a nurse, isn't she?
299
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:50,590
- Yes, yes, she's a, she's a nurse at
300
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,763
St. Stephen's.
301
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:57,240
- She is a very pretty woman.
302
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,413
- Yes, thank you.
303
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,630
I mean, you know.
304
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,540
Yeah.
305
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,940
- Yeah, how long have
you guys been married?
306
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:08,493
- [Jake] Oh, oof, eight years.
307
00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:09,480
- [Sara] Oh, wow.
308
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,100
- [Jake] We met in high school, actually.
309
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,383
I dated her sister first.
310
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,645
- [Sara] Must be difficult for you.
311
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,050
- [Jake] Oh, well.
312
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,190
- [Sara] Ice?
313
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:21,663
- [Jake] A spritz is fine.
314
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:27,920
- You know, an attractive man
like yourself, young, strong.
315
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,023
The world must be full of temptation.
316
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,813
- I can handle myself.
317
00:17:39,837 --> 00:17:41,247
- Then what are you waiting for?
318
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:52,172
Oh, God, I know you've been watching me.
319
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,922
I get wet just thinking about it.
320
00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:56,960
Oh, God.
321
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,960
(dishes shattering)
322
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:03,901
- Yeah.
323
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:05,151
- Oh, oh, yeah.
324
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:08,586
Oh, yeah.
325
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:11,086
Oh, yes, oh, yes, harder, yes.
326
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,620
Oh, God, just give it to me, harder.
327
00:18:16,155 --> 00:18:16,988
Oh, yes.
328
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:30,840
Oh my God.
329
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,607
- Sorry, this doesn't
usually happen to me.
330
00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:34,230
- Oh, Jesus.
331
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,063
- Sorry.
332
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:37,440
- Christ.
333
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,273
- Hi.
334
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,820
- Jake, this is Nancy.
335
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,483
- Hi, nice to meet you.
336
00:18:43,483 --> 00:18:46,230
- You know, he's married
to Brenda, the nurse.
337
00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:48,033
- [Nancy] Oh, yes, yes.
338
00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,355
- [Sara] How was work?
339
00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:57,030
- [Nancy] Oh, God, Puerto
Rican protest outside the UN,
340
00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:59,381
traffic was backed up
all over the east side.
341
00:18:59,381 --> 00:19:00,388
- [Sara] Really?
342
00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:02,290
So, your wife's a nurse?
343
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,181
She is a very pretty woman.
344
00:19:04,181 --> 00:19:05,931
- [Jake] You know, I.
345
00:19:08,115 --> 00:19:09,282
- [Sara] Yeah.
346
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,837
- I, (stammers) I gotta get going.
347
00:19:12,837 --> 00:19:15,510
- Oh, no, please stay a little while.
348
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:16,800
- No, no, I can't.
349
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,030
Honey, we gotta get going.
350
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,823
Thanks a lot, it's really been nice.
351
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:25,703
- [Eddie] Lesbians, holy fucking shit,
352
00:19:25,703 --> 00:19:28,140
you hit the fucking jackpot, Jake.
353
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,073
- I know, I know.
354
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,290
- Did you ever see "The Hunger"?
355
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:32,123
- [Jake] No.
356
00:19:32,123 --> 00:19:33,870
- With Susan Sarandon and
Catherine what's her name,
357
00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:35,310
the French chick?
358
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:39,030
They're lesbian vampires, forget it, shit.
359
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,860
You gotta have me over, how's Tuesday?
360
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,779
I'll bring my binoculars.
361
00:19:42,779 --> 00:19:47,779
(Jake moans)
(Brenda moans)
362
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,275
(Brenda laughs)
363
00:20:15,272 --> 00:20:17,281
(Jake sighs)
364
00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:18,698
- That was great.
365
00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:25,542
- We should fight more often.
366
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:26,375
- Yeah.
367
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:27,208
- Huh?
368
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,041
- Maybe.
369
00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:28,874
(slow bluesy music)
370
00:20:28,874 --> 00:20:31,541
(Brenda laughs)
371
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,798
(slow bluesy music continues)
372
00:21:36,136 --> 00:21:39,136
(slow bluesy music)
373
00:21:50,388 --> 00:21:51,716
(slow jazzy music)
374
00:21:51,716 --> 00:21:54,633
(flames crackling)
375
00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:01,923
- [Frank] You see, money
was everything with me.
376
00:22:03,870 --> 00:22:08,340
My passion, my religion, my
vocation, my hobby, my mistress.
377
00:22:08,340 --> 00:22:12,153
In fact, it was money that was
on my mind that fateful day.
378
00:22:13,024 --> 00:22:15,941
(flames crackling)
379
00:22:16,860 --> 00:22:19,530
My name's Musso, Frank Musso.
380
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:22,140
I'm a producer, I make TV movies,
381
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,210
the ones about murder, adultery,
382
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:27,090
eating disorders, substance
and spousal abuse,
383
00:22:27,090 --> 00:22:30,708
you know, lighthearted
entertainment for the whole family.
384
00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:33,625
(flames crackling)
385
00:22:35,108 --> 00:22:36,720
I was on my way to lock up the rights
386
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,350
to my next docudrama,
the Allison Shoop story.
387
00:22:40,350 --> 00:22:43,260
You remember Allison Shoop,
the nut who made headlines
388
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:45,990
when she sold her two
kids for a case of gin.
389
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:49,710
Tragic, but it would make
a hell of a TV movie.
390
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:52,530
- [Announcer] Sunday night,
torn from today's headlines,
391
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:54,240
the story that shocked a nation.
392
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,430
- Do you expect me to return my children
393
00:22:56,430 --> 00:22:58,993
to a woman who sold them for liquor money?
394
00:22:58,993 --> 00:23:02,820
- Don't you know alcoholism is a disease?
395
00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:04,050
- [Announcer] Morgan Brittany.
396
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,670
- Lane and Whitney, they're mine now.
397
00:23:05,670 --> 00:23:07,770
- [Announcer] Tanya
Roberts as Allison Shoop.
398
00:23:07,770 --> 00:23:10,830
- I don't want money, Mrs. Van Leeland.
399
00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:12,663
I want my kids back.
400
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,801
- Maybe this will calm your nerves.
401
00:23:16,801 --> 00:23:17,634
(Tanya gasps)
402
00:23:17,634 --> 00:23:20,250
- [Announcer] "Kids for Sale:
The Allison Shoop Story,"
403
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:21,660
Sunday night at nine.
404
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:25,890
- [Frank] Yeah, it was a
natural for November sweeps.
405
00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:28,200
Now, all I needed was for
the trailer park queen
406
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:33,200
of San Berdoo to sign her life
over to moi, the biopic king.
407
00:23:33,690 --> 00:23:37,188
As the wise man once said,
"Go where the money is."
408
00:23:37,188 --> 00:23:42,188
(slow jazzy music continues)
(flames crackling)
409
00:23:42,990 --> 00:23:46,323
Yeah, it was a done deal, or was it?
410
00:23:47,430 --> 00:23:48,263
Damn.
411
00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:53,130
Todd Farrit, first time
I'd seen him east of Spago,
412
00:23:53,130 --> 00:23:56,160
and he already had his hooks
into the real Allison Shoop.
413
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,630
On the show business food chain,
414
00:23:57,630 --> 00:23:59,280
Farrit was a bottom feeder,
415
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,330
and there wasn't enough food
416
00:24:00,330 --> 00:24:01,800
on the bottom for the both of us.
417
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,480
- You're gonna be very happy-
- Mrs. Shoop!
418
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,720
Frank Musso, we spoke on the phone.
419
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,750
- You're too late, Musso,
I signed with Mr. Farrit.
420
00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:11,580
He made the numbers work.
421
00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,050
- Yeah, let me handle this, Allison.
422
00:24:13,050 --> 00:24:17,550
Frank Musso, a legend, big fan, Frank.
423
00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:19,727
You know, you were the '80s.
424
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:21,510
- [Frank] Farrit first
made a name for himself
425
00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:23,430
when he was fired from the
William Morris mail room
426
00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:26,100
for steaming open Martin
Landau's paycheck.
427
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:28,440
I made a mental note to
count my fingers later.
428
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,600
- I had no idea you were
negotiating with Mrs. Shoop,
429
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,670
Frank, or I never would
have closed the deal.
430
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:34,830
- Yeah, right, and I've got common stock
431
00:24:34,830 --> 00:24:36,900
in Orion that's about to split.
432
00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:40,290
Look, Mrs. Shoop, do you really
want to put your life story
433
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:43,020
in the hands of a kid
still in training Guccis,
434
00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:44,190
or the veteran producer
435
00:24:44,190 --> 00:24:46,777
of the Daytime Emmy award
winning after school special
436
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:49,530
"Because Mommy Turns
Tricks" starring Pam Dawber?
437
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:52,710
- You only promised me a movie, Musso.
438
00:24:52,710 --> 00:24:55,740
Todd's gonna make me into a miniseries.
439
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:59,040
- They want to run it for
May sweeps over two nights.
440
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,980
- You'll need two nights to fit
her whole ass on the screen.
441
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:04,590
- That's it, I'm getting my shotgun.
442
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,630
- What kind of a monster
would sell her own children
443
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:07,530
for booze money?
444
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:09,870
- You can't talk to me like that, Musso.
445
00:25:09,870 --> 00:25:11,403
I'm the victim here.
446
00:25:11,403 --> 00:25:13,713
- Your refrigerator's the victim here.
447
00:25:15,661 --> 00:25:18,660
- Frankie, Frankie,
please, my hand to God,
448
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:19,830
I take no joy in this.
449
00:25:19,830 --> 00:25:21,120
I hope this won't affect the way we feel
450
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,220
about each other, but-
451
00:25:24,362 --> 00:25:25,470
(slow jazzy music)
452
00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:27,750
- [Frank] That's the
problem when you're top gun.
453
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:30,500
There's always some young
punk trying to knock you off.
454
00:25:31,513 --> 00:25:34,020
(phone beeps)
455
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:35,580
- [Receptionist] Kim Frost's office.
456
00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:37,051
- Yeah, Frank Musso.
457
00:25:37,051 --> 00:25:37,884
- [Receptionist] I'll see if she's in.
458
00:25:37,884 --> 00:25:41,550
- [Frank] Kim Frost was
known as the MOW VP with PMS.
459
00:25:41,550 --> 00:25:43,650
I hated her, she hated me,
460
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,510
but we made six TV movies together,
461
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,520
which in LA is the same as love.
462
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,580
- [Kim] Cut to the chase, Musso.
463
00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:50,730
I got a four o'clock in the Valley.
464
00:25:50,730 --> 00:25:53,460
- Kim, the more I think about
this Allison Shoop story,
465
00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:56,790
the more I think we should be
celebrating the human spirit.
466
00:25:56,790 --> 00:25:58,917
- [Kim] Yeah, in other
words, you blew the deal.
467
00:25:58,917 --> 00:26:01,500
- No, she's trouble, I backed
out to save you an ulcer.
468
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:02,333
- [Kim] Right.
469
00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:04,350
- Look, I've got better idea.
470
00:26:04,350 --> 00:26:05,647
I'm gonna fax you this article,
471
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:08,370
"I was a Suburban Lap Dancer,"
472
00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:12,691
think Markie Post, a mom
by day, stripper by night.
473
00:26:12,691 --> 00:26:15,633
- [Kim] Frank, I gotta go, Todd
Farrit's on the other line.
474
00:26:15,633 --> 00:26:18,870
- [Frank] Farrit, that name
kept coming back like a check
475
00:26:18,870 --> 00:26:20,757
from Dino De Laurentiis.
476
00:26:20,757 --> 00:26:23,674
(slow jazzy music)
477
00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:28,620
I needed something to
break for me, and fast,
478
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:31,671
or I'd be Monday's loser
du jour at the Polo Lounge.
479
00:26:31,671 --> 00:26:33,921
(cow moos)
480
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,693
Just then, the word "free"
caught my eye, it usually does.
481
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,200
It didn't seem like a
big decision at the time,
482
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,159
but that little detour
changed my life forever.
483
00:26:47,159 --> 00:26:49,220
(dog barks)
484
00:26:49,220 --> 00:26:52,727
(slow country music)
485
00:26:52,727 --> 00:26:55,203
(car horn honks)
486
00:26:55,203 --> 00:26:59,703
(background noise drowns out speaker)
487
00:27:00,899 --> 00:27:02,732
Hey, Clem, fill it up.
488
00:27:06,630 --> 00:27:11,073
Super unleaded, oh, and don't
forget the free lube job.
489
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,907
Hey, loved you in "Deliverance."
490
00:27:19,907 --> 00:27:22,979
- Oh. (laughs)
491
00:27:22,979 --> 00:27:25,710
(mechanic whistles)
492
00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:27,570
- Well, it wasn't the Fox Commissary,
493
00:27:27,570 --> 00:27:28,863
but it would have to do.
494
00:27:30,180 --> 00:27:32,190
The odds of my getting a Veal Sinatra here
495
00:27:32,190 --> 00:27:34,170
were virtually nil.
496
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:36,510
If I left now, I could
get to Lucy's across
497
00:27:36,510 --> 00:27:38,610
from Paramount in time for happy hour.
498
00:27:38,610 --> 00:27:40,650
You can make a whole meal
out of those free nachos
499
00:27:40,650 --> 00:27:41,910
for the price of a Dos Equis.
500
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,460
Sweetheart, could I see a menu?
501
00:27:44,369 --> 00:27:49,320
♪ It's what I've done, too,
I've been (indistinct) ♪
502
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,560
- Maybe you couldn't hear
me over the Reba McEntire.
503
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,230
Can I see a menu?
504
00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,270
- It's on the wall.
505
00:27:57,270 --> 00:27:59,280
You got a customer.
506
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,569
- Mama, do I have to
freshen everybody's cup?
507
00:28:03,569 --> 00:28:07,290
My rotator cuff's been acting up again.
508
00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:11,730
- Oh, why don't you just go
soak in a hot tub, darling?
509
00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:13,980
I'll get Norma to cover for you.
510
00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:16,350
- Thank you, Mama.
511
00:28:16,350 --> 00:28:19,020
- Norma, there's some cups
need freshening out here.
512
00:28:19,020 --> 00:28:21,780
- Norma, Ed Noseworthy's
waiting on his chili.
513
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:22,613
- Mm-hmm.
514
00:28:22,613 --> 00:28:24,814
- Mama, where is she?
515
00:28:24,814 --> 00:28:25,647
(customer belches)
516
00:28:25,647 --> 00:28:26,480
- [Frank] This place was further
517
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:27,500
from the main road than I thought.
518
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,815
I was nearly taillights
when she walked in.
519
00:28:32,815 --> 00:28:35,232
(slow music)
520
00:28:39,390 --> 00:28:41,523
Right then and there, I was hooked.
521
00:28:44,460 --> 00:28:46,440
Not just hooked, but reeled in,
522
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,320
cleaned, fileted, and wrapped
in yesterday's "Variety."
523
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,690
- Can't you see I got my
hands full, Charlotte?
524
00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:53,070
Maybe Princess Diana
525
00:28:53,070 --> 00:28:55,200
over there would get
up off her royal duff.
526
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,880
- Don't go picking on your sister,
527
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,790
and don't forget, you're
staying late to clean the grill.
528
00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:02,130
- But I was going to go see
that movie with Brad Pitt.
529
00:29:02,130 --> 00:29:04,080
- Well, tell him you can't go.
530
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,700
And don't sass your mother.
531
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:10,053
- Stepmother, my birth mother's
dead, I wish you were, too.
532
00:29:11,771 --> 00:29:14,460
(Charlotte grumbles)
533
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:15,750
- What do you want?
534
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:17,760
- Oh, relax, Cinderella.
535
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:18,960
Why don't you just bring me a bowl
536
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,883
of that world-famous chili?
537
00:29:21,780 --> 00:29:23,400
I don't want to rush you,
538
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,573
but I do have to be back
in Hollywood at 4:30.
539
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,233
- You in the movies?
540
00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:33,753
- TV movies.
541
00:29:34,588 --> 00:29:35,880
- Oh. (sighs)
542
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,260
- Hey.
543
00:29:37,260 --> 00:29:38,130
- I'm leaving.
544
00:29:38,130 --> 00:29:40,110
- They're an art form in their own right.
545
00:29:40,110 --> 00:29:43,500
Did you happen to see "Starved
for Love" with Courteney Cox?
546
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:44,550
- Uh-uh.
547
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,080
- Well, "People Magazine" calls it
548
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:51,080
the definitive anorexia
movie, I produced it.
549
00:29:51,547 --> 00:29:53,790
- "People Magazine"?
550
00:29:53,790 --> 00:29:57,663
Well, I'm Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
551
00:29:58,725 --> 00:30:01,683
- Enchanté, Frank Musso.
552
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,920
How do you like my logo,
553
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,380
a serpent uncoiling out of a film can?
554
00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:08,783
- I like it a lot.
555
00:30:10,050 --> 00:30:12,120
You see, I'm just crazy
about show business, Frank.
556
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,390
I have never missed an episode
of "Entertainment Tonight."
557
00:30:15,390 --> 00:30:17,670
Did you see last night about Winona Ryder?
558
00:30:17,670 --> 00:30:19,890
That very same thing happened to me.
559
00:30:19,890 --> 00:30:22,050
- [Frank] This one loosened up real fast.
560
00:30:22,050 --> 00:30:24,150
She was too good to be true.
561
00:30:24,150 --> 00:30:26,310
- So it's like I'm
destined to become famous.
562
00:30:26,310 --> 00:30:28,140
- [Frank] Even if I had
to buy her dinner first,
563
00:30:28,140 --> 00:30:29,790
how much could it cost me out here?
564
00:30:29,790 --> 00:30:31,940
- Do you really have
to leave town so soon?
565
00:30:32,940 --> 00:30:34,800
There's this little motel down the street
566
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,533
where we could discuss movies.
567
00:30:38,940 --> 00:30:41,190
- [Charlotte] Norma Jean, stop dabbling
568
00:30:41,190 --> 00:30:43,110
and get back to work.
569
00:30:43,110 --> 00:30:48,110
- God, I hate that woman, I am working!
570
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:50,190
- [Frank] I should have
hopped back into my Mercedes,
571
00:30:50,190 --> 00:30:51,673
but it was being lubed.
572
00:30:53,753 --> 00:30:56,433
Come to think of it, so was I.
573
00:30:57,445 --> 00:31:00,445
(slow bluesy music)
574
00:31:05,610 --> 00:31:08,460
At least I could put this
towards the price of the motel.
575
00:31:11,190 --> 00:31:13,053
Frank Musso for Ziggy Brillman.
576
00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:18,690
Well, tell him it's
urgent, Musso, Frank Musso.
577
00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:21,090
- If it had been written
"The days of your life,"
578
00:31:21,090 --> 00:31:24,300
it would have meant the days
only, but all the, what?
579
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:25,780
- Mr. Z, Frank Musso.
580
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:26,613
- What?
581
00:31:26,613 --> 00:31:27,453
- Urgent.
582
00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:30,600
- What are you calling me for, Musso?
583
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,721
There is no show business on Passover.
584
00:31:33,721 --> 00:31:34,554
- [Speaker] How could it be, can-
585
00:31:34,554 --> 00:31:36,675
- Barry, start the four questions.
586
00:31:36,675 --> 00:31:39,570
(Barry speaking in foreign language)
587
00:31:39,570 --> 00:31:43,239
- Ziggy, I happen to be at
a seder myself in Bel Air.
588
00:31:43,239 --> 00:31:45,990
(speaking in foreign language)
without me, Mr. Ovitz.
589
00:31:45,990 --> 00:31:48,690
- Hold it a minute, Barry, I can't hear.
590
00:31:48,690 --> 00:31:50,520
So, since when are you Jewish?
591
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,820
- Since I sold "Because Daddy's
Gay" over Hanukkah latkes.
592
00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:57,690
Listen, Ziggy, I was talking
to Kim Frost at the network.
593
00:31:57,690 --> 00:31:58,800
- The cobra woman?
594
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,657
- And she's very hot
over one of my projects,
595
00:32:01,657 --> 00:32:05,100
"The Minerva Mimik Story."
596
00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:05,933
- Minerva who?
597
00:32:05,933 --> 00:32:08,460
- She's the one who buried
her ex-husband alive.
598
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:10,830
Of course we're play up the tender side.
599
00:32:10,830 --> 00:32:12,090
You know, it'd be perfect
600
00:32:12,090 --> 00:32:15,390
for one of your clients, Lindsay Wagner.
601
00:32:15,390 --> 00:32:18,120
- What are you, Musso, the 11th plague?
602
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,930
All you do is exploit
tragedy for a quick buck.
603
00:32:21,930 --> 00:32:22,890
- Now, is that a no,
604
00:32:22,890 --> 00:32:24,690
or do I sense a little
wiggle room in there?
605
00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:29,520
- I will never put Lindsay into
one of your trashy projects.
606
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,770
- Listen, Ziggy, I don't
have to say she's attached,
607
00:32:31,770 --> 00:32:34,590
if I can just say she thumbed through it.
608
00:32:34,590 --> 00:32:36,720
- You're a vulture, a predator.
609
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,100
- How about she walked by it?
610
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:41,070
- Hearse chaser, carrion bird.
611
00:32:41,070 --> 00:32:42,960
- Oh, yeah, I hope you
choke on some matzah
612
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,443
and none of your relatives
know the Heimlich maneuver.
613
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,930
- Barry, what are you waiting for?
614
00:32:48,930 --> 00:32:51,723
A little louder this time
so your Uncle Moe can hear.
615
00:32:52,816 --> 00:32:57,233
(Barry speaking in foreign language)
616
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,877
(slow jazzy music)
617
00:33:21,410 --> 00:33:23,760
(Frank sings)
618
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,426
- Pan Am Braniff.
619
00:33:25,426 --> 00:33:28,495
♪ It's a Pan Am kind of night ♪
620
00:33:28,495 --> 00:33:30,912
(Frank hums)
621
00:33:32,466 --> 00:33:35,049
(Norma knocks)
622
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:41,370
- Sorry I'm late, Frank.
623
00:33:41,370 --> 00:33:44,283
- [Frank] No problemo, come in.
624
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,820
- It's just that awful stepmother of mine.
625
00:33:48,877 --> 00:33:50,460
"Scrub the dishes, Norma Jean.
626
00:33:50,460 --> 00:33:51,990
Scrape the grill, Norma Jean."
627
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:53,130
- Why don't you sit down, Cinderella?
628
00:33:53,130 --> 00:33:55,560
Just toss those scripts aside.
629
00:33:55,560 --> 00:34:00,560
- Oh, "I Want My Ovaries
Back: The Verna Felton Story."
630
00:34:01,650 --> 00:34:05,400
- Yeah, that's the egg donor
who sued for child custody.
631
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,346
It's on the fast track at Fox.
632
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:08,557
(glasses clinking)
633
00:34:08,557 --> 00:34:10,377
- "You'll Never Hit My Kids Again:
634
00:34:10,377 --> 00:34:12,847
The Clorinda Skidmore Story."
635
00:34:12,847 --> 00:34:17,100
"So Pull the Plug Already:
The Nate Mandelbaum Story."
636
00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:19,290
- As Sam Goldwyn used to say,
637
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,409
there's no fiction like the truth.
638
00:34:21,409 --> 00:34:24,750
(glasses clinking)
639
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:27,270
- I bet you can make a
movie out of my life, Frank,
640
00:34:27,270 --> 00:34:32,270
then I'd be rich and famous
and on the cover of "People."
641
00:34:32,340 --> 00:34:33,657
And then I wouldn't have
to live with my stepmother
642
00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:36,420
and my stepsisters ever again.
643
00:34:36,420 --> 00:34:39,453
- We might consummate a deal.
644
00:34:42,150 --> 00:34:45,180
Go ahead, Cinderella,
tell me your life story.
645
00:34:45,180 --> 00:34:48,813
Maybe I can give it a Hollywood ending.
646
00:34:50,010 --> 00:34:53,760
- All right, it all started 17 years ago.
647
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,160
We were a happy family until my mama died.
648
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,360
- [Frank] She was a nice kid
649
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,450
and I didn't want to dash her
dreams, so I let her talk.
650
00:35:00,450 --> 00:35:01,590
- [Norma] Married to that old witch.
651
00:35:01,590 --> 00:35:02,423
- [Frank] And talk.
652
00:35:02,423 --> 00:35:03,666
- [Norma] I ran away from home.
653
00:35:03,666 --> 00:35:04,680
- [Frank] And talk.
654
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,100
- Then Charlotte found me in
Modesto, and (claps) boom,
655
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:10,600
right back in the kitchen,
scraping pots and pans.
656
00:35:12,390 --> 00:35:14,010
So would that be a good movie, Frank?
657
00:35:14,010 --> 00:35:16,987
- Absolutely, but I already made it,
658
00:35:16,987 --> 00:35:19,830
"Portrait of a Runaway"
with Valerie Bertinelli.
659
00:35:19,830 --> 00:35:21,450
It won its time slot.
660
00:35:21,450 --> 00:35:24,660
Now, look, Cinderella, if
you want to sell a TV movie,
661
00:35:24,660 --> 00:35:28,350
you've got to have a hook,
a strong through line,
662
00:35:28,350 --> 00:35:31,050
like setting your husband on fire
663
00:35:31,050 --> 00:35:33,180
or climbing up a tower with a rifle
664
00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:35,133
and picking off the student body.
665
00:35:36,330 --> 00:35:38,733
- Well, now that you mention it,
666
00:35:39,870 --> 00:35:42,870
some nights when I'm
working late at the diner,
667
00:35:42,870 --> 00:35:44,673
I have these fantasies.
668
00:35:46,050 --> 00:35:47,403
- I know what you mean.
669
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:51,240
- About killing my stepmother
and my stepsisters.
670
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:53,130
- Then you'd have something.
671
00:35:53,130 --> 00:35:55,747
I could sell that on the title alone,
672
00:35:55,747 --> 00:36:00,747
"The Cinderella Killer: The Norma Jean,"
673
00:36:00,930 --> 00:36:02,192
what's your name again?
674
00:36:02,192 --> 00:36:03,025
- Hazelrigg.
675
00:36:03,025 --> 00:36:04,980
- "The Norma Jean Hazelrigg Story,"
676
00:36:04,980 --> 00:36:06,720
with Pamela Anderson as you,
677
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:10,380
Ann-Margret as your
stepmother, and Brian Dennehy-
678
00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:11,790
- What would he play?
679
00:36:11,790 --> 00:36:13,980
- It's a TV movie, you've
gotta have Brian Dennehy.
680
00:36:13,980 --> 00:36:17,527
We'll weave him in and out
as the ghost of your father.
681
00:36:17,527 --> 00:36:20,403
- "The Cinderella Killer," I love it.
682
00:36:22,224 --> 00:36:24,210
But if I kill my family,
wouldn't I have to,
683
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:27,390
like, go to prison or the
gas chamber or something?
684
00:36:27,390 --> 00:36:29,043
- Babe, where have you been?
685
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,250
Nobody walks the last mile anymore.
686
00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:33,780
You hire Leslie Abramson,
687
00:36:33,780 --> 00:36:36,360
played in your movie by Linda Lavin.
688
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,970
No, Dyan Cannon, she gets you off
689
00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:42,930
on a technicality and
happy ending. (snaps)
690
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:44,613
Cut to the Frito-Lay commercial.
691
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,000
- And would I make a lot of money, Frank?
692
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,340
- You'd have the entire
collection of presidents.
693
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:53,310
- Oh, I just love money, Frank.
694
00:36:53,310 --> 00:36:54,660
Sometimes when nobody's looking,
695
00:36:54,660 --> 00:36:56,010
I just reach into the register
696
00:36:56,010 --> 00:37:00,360
and I grab a great big wad
of cash and I just smell it.
697
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:01,620
- You do that, too?
698
00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:02,453
- Uh-huh.
699
00:37:04,243 --> 00:37:06,000
I think we should do it, Frank.
700
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,443
- Now you're talking, babe.
701
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,363
- No, I mean we should do the movie.
702
00:37:13,530 --> 00:37:17,640
- Oh, well, I'd like nothing better than
703
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,630
to go into Kim Frost's office
with "The Cinderella Killer,"
704
00:37:21,630 --> 00:37:25,470
only there are a few
grounds in the cappuccino.
705
00:37:25,470 --> 00:37:26,910
- What do you mean?
706
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,380
- Well, none of this ever happened.
707
00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:31,200
I was just pitching, spinning a yarn.
708
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,633
You fell under the Musso's spell.
709
00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:37,140
- Well, we can make it happen.
710
00:37:37,140 --> 00:37:40,260
- Yes, we could, what?
711
00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:41,880
- We could kill my stepmother
712
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,830
and those dumb daughters of hers.
713
00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:45,487
- Oh. (stammers)
714
00:37:45,487 --> 00:37:47,250
- We can do it just like you said, Frank,
715
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:49,470
you know, the through line.
716
00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:53,760
- Oh, pause, rewind, Norma,
it doesn't work that way.
717
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,760
You see, I wait for
something horrible to happen
718
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:01,760
and then I make a movie about
it, not the other way around.
719
00:38:02,610 --> 00:38:06,990
- Of course, Frank,
you're absolutely right.
720
00:38:06,990 --> 00:38:09,843
Sometimes my imagination just runs wild.
721
00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:13,323
What about your imagination, Frank?
722
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,683
What are you imagining right now?
723
00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:20,220
Because all this talk about movies
724
00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:25,013
and money has made me very, very horny.
725
00:38:27,343 --> 00:38:31,020
(slow ominous music)
726
00:38:31,020 --> 00:38:32,520
- [Frank] Before I knew
what was happening,
727
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,520
she was doing things to me
that I hadn't even done to me,
728
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,770
things that Masters never told Johnson,
729
00:38:37,770 --> 00:38:39,633
that Kinsey kept out of his report.
730
00:38:41,730 --> 00:38:43,290
And when it was all over,
731
00:38:43,290 --> 00:38:46,977
I found myself in much
deeper than I had planned.
732
00:38:46,977 --> 00:38:49,894
(slow jazzy music)
733
00:38:58,017 --> 00:39:02,580
- Oh, Frank, that was just the
greatest sex I've ever had.
734
00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:05,013
- You're not kidding, I don't even smoke.
735
00:39:06,879 --> 00:39:09,521
- Oh, Frankie, it's too bad you have
736
00:39:09,521 --> 00:39:14,521
to go back to Hollywood, we
can't make our little movie.
737
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,320
- Movie, what she really meant was murder,
738
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,680
and yet, suddenly it
didn't seem so crazy to me.
739
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,570
Why not create the events,
740
00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:27,090
instead of sitting around
waiting for them to happen,
741
00:39:27,090 --> 00:39:28,380
then getting beaten to the rights
742
00:39:28,380 --> 00:39:31,590
by the likes of a Todd Farrit, why not?
743
00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:33,030
Who said Frank Musso has
744
00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:35,610
to be the last moral man in Hollywood?
745
00:39:35,610 --> 00:39:38,339
Norma, we'll do it.
746
00:39:38,339 --> 00:39:39,524
(Norma gasps)
747
00:39:39,524 --> 00:39:43,530
- Oh, Frank, it does help
to sleep with a producer.
748
00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:44,940
I just have to become famous.
749
00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:47,130
I don't know how to do anything else.
750
00:39:47,130 --> 00:39:49,588
- Oh, I wouldn't exactly say that.
751
00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:51,780
(Norma laughs)
752
00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:54,510
The ideas began to explode in my head.
753
00:39:54,510 --> 00:39:55,650
Planning a real murder
754
00:39:55,650 --> 00:39:58,590
to capture the public's
imagination wouldn't be so tough.
755
00:39:58,590 --> 00:40:01,890
I knew all the tricks, a splashy opening,
756
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:05,760
a heart rending backstory,
courtroom fireworks,
757
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,220
some skin between the sheets,
758
00:40:08,220 --> 00:40:10,890
and finally, vodka for everyone.
759
00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:13,890
But most of all, you needed
a sympathetic lead character
760
00:40:13,890 --> 00:40:16,443
that every humdrum
hausfrau could relate to.
761
00:40:20,430 --> 00:40:23,613
All right, so we needed a
little work in that department.
762
00:40:24,802 --> 00:40:27,385
(coyote howls)
763
00:40:28,585 --> 00:40:31,502
(slow jazzy music)
764
00:40:32,501 --> 00:40:35,334
(gas meter dings)
765
00:40:41,241 --> 00:40:44,520
(slow ominous music)
766
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,160
She followed my script
just as I had written it,
767
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:52,081
shot by shot, but she added a
few little nuances of her own.
768
00:40:52,081 --> 00:40:54,998
(slow tango music)
769
00:41:14,241 --> 00:41:15,809
(door creaks)
770
00:41:15,809 --> 00:41:16,642
- [Speaker On TV] Call the number
771
00:41:16,642 --> 00:41:18,729
on the screen, folks, and order now.
772
00:41:18,729 --> 00:41:19,834
- [Speaker On TV] Because in 10 minutes,
773
00:41:19,834 --> 00:41:20,952
it won't be available.
774
00:41:20,952 --> 00:41:23,367
- [Speaker On TV] And they're just 19.95.
775
00:41:23,367 --> 00:41:24,839
- [Speaker] You cannot beat this, really.
776
00:41:24,839 --> 00:41:25,911
I mean, do you think someone-
777
00:41:25,911 --> 00:41:28,346
(slow ominous music)
778
00:41:28,346 --> 00:41:29,831
(door creaks)
779
00:41:29,831 --> 00:41:31,192
- [Speaker On TV] They
are environmentally safe.
780
00:41:31,192 --> 00:41:33,857
- [Speaker On TV] Right, as
well as fun with your cat.
781
00:41:33,857 --> 00:41:35,399
Oh, and we have a special offer
782
00:41:35,399 --> 00:41:36,794
that Matt's gonna tell us about.
783
00:41:36,794 --> 00:41:38,490
- [Matt] That's right,
if you order right now,
784
00:41:38,490 --> 00:41:42,454
we're gonna throw in the free
kitty litter odor eliminator.
785
00:41:42,454 --> 00:41:43,620
Now, is that necessary?
786
00:41:43,620 --> 00:41:45,960
- [Frank] Of course, Frank
Musso was nowhere near the scene
787
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,460
of the crime when it happened.
788
00:41:48,711 --> 00:41:51,211
(phone rings)
789
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:56,753
- Hello?
790
00:41:56,753 --> 00:41:59,010
- Ziggy, Frank Musso.
791
00:41:59,010 --> 00:42:00,231
- Musso?
792
00:42:00,231 --> 00:42:01,140
- You know, I felt bad
793
00:42:01,140 --> 00:42:03,840
about how our conversation
ended this afternoon.
794
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,810
After all, it's a relationship business,
795
00:42:06,810 --> 00:42:09,600
and since I'm cruising Trousdale,
796
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,920
why don't I just stop on over
797
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,637
and we'll polish off a
bottle of Manischewitz?
798
00:42:13,637 --> 00:42:14,470
- Do you know what time it is?
799
00:42:14,470 --> 00:42:18,630
- Why, no, Ziggy, the
clock is broken in my car.
800
00:42:18,630 --> 00:42:20,130
What time is it?
801
00:42:20,130 --> 00:42:22,560
- [Ziggy] It's 3:15 in the morning.
802
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,900
- [Frank] What time did you say?
803
00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:27,930
- 3:15 in the morning.
804
00:42:27,930 --> 00:42:31,440
- Ziggy, if I'd have known it was 3:15
805
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,950
in the morning, I never would have called.
806
00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:37,368
I'll just let you get on back to bed.
807
00:42:37,368 --> 00:42:38,584
(car horn honks)
808
00:42:38,584 --> 00:42:40,373
Hey, watch out, you lunatic, are you nuts?
809
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,950
Ooh, close call, Ziggy,
810
00:42:43,950 --> 00:42:48,720
almost a head on collision
right here on Loma Vista,
811
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:53,293
where I happen to be right
now at 3:15 in the morning.
812
00:42:54,955 --> 00:42:57,946
(Ziggy speaking in foreign language)
813
00:42:57,946 --> 00:43:00,180
(phone beeps)
814
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:01,013
You're up?
815
00:43:02,230 --> 00:43:03,660
- [Frank] For a first time killer,
816
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:08,613
she was pretty cool,
maybe a little too cool.
817
00:43:09,784 --> 00:43:12,951
(slow dramatic music)
818
00:43:24,510 --> 00:43:27,540
Leaving the shoe behind
was a nice visual touch.
819
00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:28,530
I planned on building
820
00:43:28,530 --> 00:43:31,448
the whole Cinderella
ad campaign around it.
821
00:43:31,448 --> 00:43:34,115
(fire crackles)
822
00:43:41,001 --> 00:43:42,793
There was no turning back now.
823
00:43:42,793 --> 00:43:45,067
- Oh, it was just perfect,
oh, it was just like,
824
00:43:45,067 --> 00:43:46,296
it was just like we planned.
825
00:43:46,296 --> 00:43:47,147
You should have been there.
826
00:43:47,147 --> 00:43:48,810
I did it, I did it, Frank.
827
00:43:48,810 --> 00:43:51,570
You should have seen it, it
was just like we planned.
828
00:43:51,570 --> 00:43:53,160
Cover up people, Frank.
829
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,998
- Cover up people, babe.
830
00:43:54,998 --> 00:43:57,208
- Oh.
831
00:43:57,208 --> 00:44:00,541
(slow orchestral music)
832
00:44:04,248 --> 00:44:08,583
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
833
00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:13,556
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
834
00:44:13,556 --> 00:44:14,430
♪ Hallelujah ♪
835
00:44:14,430 --> 00:44:17,310
- And Heavenly Father, may we also ask
836
00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:20,550
that you guide and protect
our young Norma Jean
837
00:44:20,550 --> 00:44:24,033
as she struggles through life
without her loving family.
838
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:29,700
As we are all children, so
are the days of our lives,
839
00:44:29,700 --> 00:44:34,290
and so, all my children, like
sands through the hourglass,
840
00:44:34,290 --> 00:44:36,060
we have one life to live.
841
00:44:36,060 --> 00:44:37,260
- [Frank] Norma was good,
842
00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:40,097
better than good, she was great.
843
00:44:40,097 --> 00:44:42,900
(Norma cries)
844
00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,570
Unfortunately, the local cops weren't.
845
00:44:45,570 --> 00:44:47,910
I realized if I ever wanted her arrested,
846
00:44:47,910 --> 00:44:49,980
I was gonna have to help it along.
847
00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,540
- Amen, let's eat.
848
00:44:51,540 --> 00:44:56,540
(upbeat country music)
(group chattering)
849
00:44:57,172 --> 00:44:59,820
- Oh, look, that's a huge-
(group chattering)
850
00:44:59,820 --> 00:45:04,203
- Don't you get it, if the
shoe fits, she is the killer.
851
00:45:06,210 --> 00:45:07,650
Nevermind who this is, Sherlock.
852
00:45:07,650 --> 00:45:08,910
I'm an anonymous tipster.
853
00:45:08,910 --> 00:45:11,403
If I give you my name,
I wouldn't be anonymous.
854
00:45:13,138 --> 00:45:14,993
Geez, you can't even get
arrested in this town.
855
00:45:17,398 --> 00:45:19,710
(coins clinking)
856
00:45:19,710 --> 00:45:20,543
Thank you.
857
00:45:21,633 --> 00:45:24,133
(siren wails)
858
00:45:27,510 --> 00:45:28,343
- There she is.
859
00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:32,898
Ma'am, come with us, please?
860
00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:34,980
- [Speaker] What's the problem?
861
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:36,323
- [Officer] Right over here, have a seat.
862
00:45:36,323 --> 00:45:38,313
Try not to contaminate this evidence.
863
00:45:39,318 --> 00:45:42,235
(group chattering)
864
00:45:47,623 --> 00:45:49,080
(person gasps)
865
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,090
- [Frank] Norma played
it for all it was worth,
866
00:45:51,090 --> 00:45:52,200
and the way I'd figured,
867
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,107
it was worth at least
eight mil after taxes.
868
00:45:55,107 --> 00:45:55,940
(Norma gasps)
869
00:45:55,940 --> 00:45:59,520
(group chattering)
870
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,650
Her grave site arrest
would make a great button
871
00:46:01,650 --> 00:46:03,400
before the second commercial break.
872
00:46:05,238 --> 00:46:08,321
(slow country music)
873
00:46:21,541 --> 00:46:25,825
- [Photographer] Look this
way, turn to the right.
874
00:46:25,825 --> 00:46:27,574
Lock her up.
875
00:46:27,574 --> 00:46:32,217
(slow country music continues)
876
00:46:32,217 --> 00:46:34,410
- She was booked for murder one.
877
00:46:34,410 --> 00:46:36,840
Now it was time to go
into my song and dance,
878
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,463
handling the media frenzy.
879
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,733
Some frenzy.
880
00:46:44,481 --> 00:46:46,898
(slow music)
881
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:52,410
Hey, Woodward and Bernstein,
quite a story, huh?
882
00:46:52,410 --> 00:46:54,300
- Story, what story, mister?
883
00:46:54,300 --> 00:46:56,160
- We're here to cover
the mayor's presentation
884
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,200
of the Safest Driver of the Year Award.
885
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:02,130
- Oh, excusez-moi, I didn't
realize you had a bigger story
886
00:47:02,130 --> 00:47:05,103
than the Hazelrigg murders.
887
00:47:06,570 --> 00:47:08,013
- Hazelrigg murders?
888
00:47:10,020 --> 00:47:13,080
- Yes, fascinating case, young girl,
889
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:16,170
abused by a wicked
stepmother and stepsisters,
890
00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:17,553
reminds me of something.
891
00:47:19,650 --> 00:47:23,340
Rushes off, leaving a slipper behind.
892
00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:26,347
Now, wasn't there a fairytale?
893
00:47:26,347 --> 00:47:28,115
- "Snow White." (laughs)
894
00:47:28,115 --> 00:47:29,670
- Right, and you're Dopey.
895
00:47:29,670 --> 00:47:30,503
- Uh-huh.
896
00:47:30,503 --> 00:47:34,713
- No, the other one, the one
that rhymes with Barry Diller?
897
00:47:39,270 --> 00:47:41,460
- Cinderellar?
898
00:47:41,460 --> 00:47:43,920
- No, Ned, Cinderella.
899
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,870
- Yes, I love how your minds work
900
00:47:45,870 --> 00:47:48,000
as a single harmonious unit,
901
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,450
and since she's a Cinderella that kills,
902
00:47:51,450 --> 00:47:53,640
that makes her the-
903
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,770
- Cinderella murderer.
904
00:47:55,770 --> 00:47:59,103
- Interesting choice, but I
think we can do a little better.
905
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:03,783
She's a killer, she's
Cinderella, she's the?
906
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,060
- Cinderella killer.
- Cinderella killer.
907
00:48:09,060 --> 00:48:11,010
- Congratulations, I'm gonna release
908
00:48:11,010 --> 00:48:12,630
the white smoke of victory.
909
00:48:12,630 --> 00:48:15,060
Oh, write it down before you forget it.
910
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:17,210
They don't call this
kid Scoop for nothing.
911
00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:23,190
No, there's two Ls in Cinderella,
but only one in Pulitzer.
912
00:48:23,190 --> 00:48:24,330
Now, why don't you boys get in there
913
00:48:24,330 --> 00:48:26,880
before that sleazy "New
York Times" shows up
914
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,592
and grabs all the glory, go, go, go.
915
00:48:29,592 --> 00:48:31,260
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
916
00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,423
Hey, thanks, mister.
917
00:48:34,590 --> 00:48:35,440
- Thanks, mister.
918
00:48:38,484 --> 00:48:41,610
(car horn honks)
919
00:48:41,610 --> 00:48:44,250
- All right, so it wasn't
the "New York Times,"
920
00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:45,720
but it was a start.
921
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:48,390
All the story needed
now was a little nudge,
922
00:48:48,390 --> 00:48:51,180
and I was just the little
nudge to get it going.
923
00:48:51,180 --> 00:48:52,620
Hello, is this Dominick Dunne?
924
00:48:52,620 --> 00:48:53,580
- [Dominick] This is he.
925
00:48:53,580 --> 00:48:54,478
- It is?
926
00:48:54,478 --> 00:48:55,311
- [Dominick] Mm-hmm.
927
00:48:55,311 --> 00:48:57,084
- Well, I am a tremendous fan, sir.
928
00:48:57,084 --> 00:48:57,917
- [Dominick] And your name?
929
00:48:57,917 --> 00:48:59,550
- I am Owen C. Crouch,
county trial coordinator here
930
00:48:59,550 --> 00:49:01,230
in Modesto, California.
931
00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:02,063
- [Dominick] Modesto, huh?
932
00:49:02,063 --> 00:49:03,720
- Now, "Vanity Fair" informs me
933
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:06,120
you will be covering the
Cinderella killer trial.
934
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,380
- [Dominick] I'm not familiar with that.
935
00:49:07,380 --> 00:49:08,534
- Oh, you're not?
936
00:49:08,534 --> 00:49:09,367
- [Dominick] No.
937
00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:12,060
- Well, that is just as well,
sir, because Norman Mailer
938
00:49:12,060 --> 00:49:14,310
and Joe McGinniss are
requesting permanent seats.
939
00:49:14,310 --> 00:49:15,143
- [Dominick] Mailer and McGinniss?
940
00:49:15,143 --> 00:49:20,120
- Now, if you change your
mind, I am at 209-555-0965.
941
00:49:21,532 --> 00:49:22,949
- [Dominick] 096-
942
00:49:27,357 --> 00:49:28,190
(phone rings)
943
00:49:28,190 --> 00:49:30,300
(slow music)
944
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:32,747
- Modesto County
Courthouse, Crouch speaking.
945
00:49:32,747 --> 00:49:33,990
- [Dominick] Yes, this is Dominick Dunne.
946
00:49:33,990 --> 00:49:35,613
- Oh, yes, Mr. Dunne.
947
00:49:36,681 --> 00:49:39,260
(crickets chirping)
948
00:49:39,260 --> 00:49:41,670
(door knocks)
949
00:49:41,670 --> 00:49:45,450
- Hi, I have a delivery for Mr. Mosso.
950
00:49:45,450 --> 00:49:48,873
- No, that's Musso, 31 minutes, it's free.
951
00:49:50,460 --> 00:49:52,800
- Wait a minute, wait, what about a tip?
952
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,700
- You want to a tip, you'll
never get laid in that outfit.
953
00:49:56,779 --> 00:49:58,170
(door slams)
954
00:49:58,170 --> 00:50:01,050
The next order of business
was to get Norma an attorney,
955
00:50:01,050 --> 00:50:04,000
and where does one turn to find
a good attorney these days?
956
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,550
- Good evening, I'm Terry Murphy.
957
00:50:08,550 --> 00:50:12,330
Our top story tonight on "Hard
Copy," the Cinderella killer.
958
00:50:12,330 --> 00:50:16,770
This case has it all, sex,
violence, a beautiful defendant,
959
00:50:16,770 --> 00:50:19,890
and the now infamous red high heeled shoe.
960
00:50:19,890 --> 00:50:21,960
Joining us from Houston is the attorney
961
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:25,290
that successfully defended
the Central Park strangler,
962
00:50:25,290 --> 00:50:28,620
the Atlanta ax murder, and
most of the Jackson family.
963
00:50:28,620 --> 00:50:31,177
He's also the author of
the current bestseller,
964
00:50:31,177 --> 00:50:35,100
"Don't Get Mad, Get a
Lawyer," Noble Hart, Noble?
965
00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:37,920
- Howdy, Larry, it's always a pleasure.
966
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,490
- No, I'm Terry Murphy
and this is "Hard Copy."
967
00:50:41,490 --> 00:50:44,760
- Oh, oh, sorry, I do so many
of these satellite feeds,
968
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:45,833
I thought, thought, you know.
969
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:47,790
- Noble, what's your take
970
00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:50,370
on this whole Cinderella killer thing?
971
00:50:50,370 --> 00:50:51,960
- Oh, maybe I'm just
an old country lawyer,
972
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,030
but I can tell you, you
can bet the ranch I know
973
00:50:54,030 --> 00:50:55,590
which way this horse is heading.
974
00:50:55,590 --> 00:50:56,423
- [Frank] I didn't know
975
00:50:56,423 --> 00:50:58,950
who this smug pontificating redneck was,
976
00:50:58,950 --> 00:51:02,160
but he was just the kind of
cornball a jury would fall for,
977
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,360
and his passing resemblance
978
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,340
to actor Brian Keith would help us later
979
00:51:05,340 --> 00:51:06,270
in casting the movie.
980
00:51:06,270 --> 00:51:07,590
- What's gonna happen is,
981
00:51:07,590 --> 00:51:11,670
little Miss Hazelrigg's
hard guns are gonna trot out
982
00:51:11,670 --> 00:51:15,240
the old abuse excuse and
they're gonna tell you
983
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:18,480
that she's just a poor
victimized child who didn't have
984
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,800
any choice but to kill her
abusive family in self-defense.
985
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:26,160
Now, that skunk throws
a pretty strong scent,
986
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,100
and I can tell you that I personally find
987
00:51:29,100 --> 00:51:32,525
that kind of defense to
be morally repugnant.
988
00:51:32,525 --> 00:51:34,205
(slow bluegrass music)
989
00:51:34,205 --> 00:51:35,274
(phone beeps)
990
00:51:35,274 --> 00:51:38,430
- Oh, Mr. Hart!
(group chattering)
991
00:51:38,430 --> 00:51:40,833
- Now, my friends, I just want to say
992
00:51:40,833 --> 00:51:43,080
that I'm extremely proud
993
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,690
to be heading up Ms.
Hazelrigg's defense team.
994
00:51:45,690 --> 00:51:46,770
- [Report] Together,
please, a little closer.
995
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,480
- And when all the facts are in,
996
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:53,370
y'all are gonna see that she
is just a poor victimized child
997
00:51:53,370 --> 00:51:55,710
who had no choice but to kill
998
00:51:55,710 --> 00:51:58,683
that abusive family in self-defense.
999
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:02,617
(group chattering)
1000
00:52:05,417 --> 00:52:06,259
- [Announcer] You've been watching
1001
00:52:06,259 --> 00:52:07,650
Noble Hart's live press conference.
1002
00:52:07,650 --> 00:52:10,710
Coming up, dads who sleep with
their daughter's boyfriends
1003
00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:12,807
on an all-new "Jerry Springer."
1004
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,110
- [Frank] But I really
knew we were on our way
1005
00:52:16,110 --> 00:52:19,650
when the late night comics
started jumping on the story.
1006
00:52:19,650 --> 00:52:22,680
- This is kind of odd, I think
this Norma Jean Hazelrigg,
1007
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:23,860
you know, Paul, Norma Jean?
- Yeah.
1008
00:52:23,860 --> 00:52:26,430
- Yeah, I think she may
be trying to capitalize,
1009
00:52:26,430 --> 00:52:28,950
make some money off of her family tragedy.
1010
00:52:28,950 --> 00:52:31,140
I heard where she was opening a restaurant
1011
00:52:31,140 --> 00:52:34,904
in New York City in a couple
of weeks, Planet Homicide.
1012
00:52:34,904 --> 00:52:36,852
(audience laughs)
1013
00:52:36,852 --> 00:52:38,578
(background noise drowns out speaker)
1014
00:52:38,578 --> 00:52:39,734
(Frank laughs)
1015
00:52:39,734 --> 00:52:43,020
- They say the defendant left
her shoe at the murder scene.
1016
00:52:43,020 --> 00:52:45,510
That's actually the most
famous high heeled pump
1017
00:52:45,510 --> 00:52:48,791
in criminal history next
to J. Edgar Hoover's, so.
1018
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:50,164
(audience laughs)
1019
00:52:50,164 --> 00:52:52,237
(audience cheers)
1020
00:52:52,237 --> 00:52:57,237
- "The Insider," "The Post."
(slow music)
1021
00:52:57,847 --> 00:52:59,877
"USA Today,"
1022
00:53:01,020 --> 00:53:03,990
and I've been saving this
for a special surprise.
1023
00:53:03,990 --> 00:53:05,493
It hits the stands Monday.
1024
00:53:07,317 --> 00:53:10,170
- Oh, Frank. (laughs)
1025
00:53:10,170 --> 00:53:12,093
- Cover of "People," babe.
1026
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:16,247
- You did it, Frank, you made me famous.
1027
00:53:17,670 --> 00:53:19,440
- Then why so sad?
1028
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:22,593
- I just wish my family could
have lived to see my success.
1029
00:53:23,460 --> 00:53:27,900
- Yeah, right, look, (snaps)
I have a little business
1030
00:53:27,900 --> 00:53:29,910
we have to take care of.
1031
00:53:29,910 --> 00:53:30,743
- Sign here.
1032
00:53:30,743 --> 00:53:32,880
- [Frank] Norma and I had
a firm handshake agreement,
1033
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,300
which I backed up with an
even firmer 80 page contract,
1034
00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:38,643
giving me exclusive
rights to her life story.
1035
00:53:39,637 --> 00:53:40,950
- Oh, I miss you, Frank.
1036
00:53:40,950 --> 00:53:43,140
- It won't be long now, baby,
1037
00:53:43,140 --> 00:53:46,050
just the formality of
beating a multiple murder rap
1038
00:53:46,050 --> 00:53:47,550
with special circumstances.
1039
00:53:47,550 --> 00:53:49,140
- I can't wait.
1040
00:53:49,140 --> 00:53:53,010
I just get so horny being
cooped up here all alone.
1041
00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:54,267
At night, I just lie on my cot
1042
00:53:54,267 --> 00:53:57,217
and I just think of all the
things I could be doing to you,
1043
00:53:58,170 --> 00:54:01,160
things like. (whispers)
(slow music)
1044
00:54:02,692 --> 00:54:05,192
(Frank gulps)
1045
00:54:11,117 --> 00:54:14,371
- Next time, I'll bring a squeegee.
1046
00:54:14,371 --> 00:54:18,120
(slow jazzy music)
1047
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:19,740
She was the only woman I ever met
1048
00:54:19,740 --> 00:54:22,140
who could French kiss
through bulletproof glass.
1049
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:28,370
(taser crackles)
1050
00:54:28,370 --> 00:54:29,203
(group chattering)
1051
00:54:29,203 --> 00:54:31,613
- [Officer] Just stay back,
please, everyone stand back.
1052
00:54:31,613 --> 00:54:33,420
This is your last warning.
1053
00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:35,853
There are absolutely no visitors.
1054
00:54:35,853 --> 00:54:39,090
(group chattering)
1055
00:54:39,090 --> 00:54:40,860
- Hey, how could Musso gets through?
1056
00:54:40,860 --> 00:54:43,800
- Tough luck, losers, this is my project,
1057
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:47,523
so slither back into your
leased imports and hit the road.
1058
00:54:48,445 --> 00:54:51,756
It's Musso by two lengths.
(group chattering)
1059
00:54:51,756 --> 00:54:54,453
- Frank, how'd you do it,
how'd you move in so fast?
1060
00:54:55,290 --> 00:54:58,170
- Well, let's just say
I've always had a nose
1061
00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:01,140
for a good story, but don't worry, Farrit,
1062
00:55:01,140 --> 00:55:04,590
you still have "The Allison Shoop Story."
1063
00:55:04,590 --> 00:55:05,490
Who is that again?
1064
00:55:05,490 --> 00:55:10,490
It was in the news so long
ago, I forgot. (laughs)
1065
00:55:10,860 --> 00:55:12,690
Get out of here, all of you.
1066
00:55:12,690 --> 00:55:14,975
Hearse chasers, carrion birds.
1067
00:55:14,975 --> 00:55:15,808
(phone rings)
1068
00:55:15,808 --> 00:55:17,216
- [Speaker] Oh, yeah,
that's me, must be mine.
1069
00:55:17,216 --> 00:55:18,782
- [Speaker] Hello, hello?
(phone rings)
1070
00:55:18,782 --> 00:55:19,830
- [Speaker] Hey, hello?
(group chattering)
1071
00:55:19,830 --> 00:55:24,240
- It's for me, Frank
Musso Productions, who?
1072
00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:27,951
Yes, I'll hold for Kim Frost.
1073
00:55:27,951 --> 00:55:30,868
(group chattering)
1074
00:55:32,128 --> 00:55:33,450
Kimbela.
1075
00:55:33,450 --> 00:55:36,990
So suddenly, the name Musso
was back in Kim's Rolodex.
1076
00:55:36,990 --> 00:55:39,360
I had her by the balls and she knew it.
1077
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,910
I squeezed until Cinderella was green lit
1078
00:55:41,910 --> 00:55:43,410
and on the fast track.
1079
00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:46,080
- [Noble] Musso, wait up there, amigo-
1080
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:47,923
- Noble, what are you doing here?
1081
00:55:47,923 --> 00:55:49,710
- I just jawboned the DA
1082
00:55:49,710 --> 00:55:52,380
into accepting second
degree manslaughter, huh?
1083
00:55:52,380 --> 00:55:53,430
- What are you saying?
1084
00:55:53,430 --> 00:55:56,910
- Saying even if our little
girl is guilty as sin,
1085
00:55:56,910 --> 00:55:59,940
she'll be out in a year, no trial.
1086
00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,950
- Are you out of your mind?
1087
00:56:01,950 --> 00:56:04,200
The trial is my whole third act.
1088
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,690
You can't end the miniseries
on a plea bargain.
1089
00:56:06,690 --> 00:56:08,820
- Musso, you're blurring the line
1090
00:56:08,820 --> 00:56:11,220
between reality and fantasy a bit.
1091
00:56:11,220 --> 00:56:12,053
- Wake up!
1092
00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:16,380
Wake up, Noble, everything
is show business now.
1093
00:56:16,380 --> 00:56:19,650
I've already hired writers
to work on Norma's testimony.
1094
00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:22,530
- You mean you want to put
that child on the stand?
1095
00:56:22,530 --> 00:56:25,380
Shouldn't she be making
that decision for herself?
1096
00:56:25,380 --> 00:56:27,540
- Well, Tex, her last decision was
1097
00:56:27,540 --> 00:56:29,280
to wipe out her entire family.
1098
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:30,600
You want to leave that to her?
1099
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:31,433
- Hmm.
1100
00:56:32,850 --> 00:56:33,683
(upbeat music)
1101
00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:35,700
- [Frank] I hired Shag
Hooker, Emmy winning creator
1102
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:38,640
of "LA DA" to write Norma's dialogue.
1103
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,550
If it played well in the trial,
we'd use it in the movie.
1104
00:56:41,550 --> 00:56:43,170
And Kim Frost insisted I hire
1105
00:56:43,170 --> 00:56:46,691
Carrie Fisher's half sister
Libby to give it a female pass.
1106
00:56:46,691 --> 00:56:49,524
(baby cries)
1107
00:56:49,524 --> 00:56:50,357
(audience applauds)
1108
00:56:50,357 --> 00:56:52,290
Then we took Norma's
testimony on the road,
1109
00:56:52,290 --> 00:56:54,090
trying it out in front of focus groups
1110
00:56:54,090 --> 00:56:56,820
with my personal friend,
actress Charlene Tilton.
1111
00:56:56,820 --> 00:56:59,583
- All I know is I couldn't
take the abuse any longer.
1112
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,243
That night, something
inside me just snapped.
1113
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,843
I needed to take back control of my life.
1114
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:09,910
I needed to feel (cries) empowered.
1115
00:57:12,517 --> 00:57:13,350
(audience applauds)
1116
00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:14,183
- [Audience Member] Wonderful!
1117
00:57:14,183 --> 00:57:15,260
(audience cheers)
1118
00:57:15,260 --> 00:57:18,055
- [Audience Member] We love you, Charlene!
1119
00:57:18,055 --> 00:57:20,100
- [Audience Member] Brilliant!
1120
00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:20,933
(upbeat music)
1121
00:57:20,933 --> 00:57:21,766
- [Audience Member] She's incredible,
1122
00:57:21,766 --> 00:57:23,816
she's definitely innocent, so believable.
1123
00:57:25,050 --> 00:57:27,720
- Great work, guys, 92% for acquittal.
1124
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,553
We're ready for the big time.
1125
00:57:32,381 --> 00:57:35,500
(upbeat music)
(group chattering)
1126
00:57:35,500 --> 00:57:38,040
When the big day arrived, it
was a full-blown media circus,
1127
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:39,720
and I was the ringmaster,
1128
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:43,560
and all the profits were going
straight to numero Musso.
1129
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:44,955
- [Speaker] One red shoe,
1130
00:57:44,955 --> 00:57:46,559
one Norma Jean red shoe, right here.
1131
00:57:46,559 --> 00:57:47,392
(Frank whistles)
1132
00:57:47,392 --> 00:57:48,330
- [Frank] There they were, the con men,
1133
00:57:48,330 --> 00:57:50,973
the hucksters, the grifters, the leeches.
1134
00:57:52,265 --> 00:57:53,098
- [Speaker] Idiot.
1135
00:57:53,098 --> 00:57:53,931
- [Frank] My kind of people.
1136
00:57:53,931 --> 00:57:54,930
(group chattering)
1137
00:57:54,930 --> 00:57:56,570
- [Protestor] Remember the victim!
1138
00:57:56,570 --> 00:57:57,594
- [Protestors] Free Norma Jean!
1139
00:57:57,594 --> 00:58:00,780
- Remember the victim!
- Free Norma Jean!
1140
00:58:00,780 --> 00:58:02,367
- Get the hell out of here!
1141
00:58:02,367 --> 00:58:06,210
Man, there's always some
clown to rain on your parade.
1142
00:58:06,210 --> 00:58:08,490
- [Protestors] Free Norma
Jean, free Norma Jean!
1143
00:58:08,490 --> 00:58:09,750
- [Frank] I hired the best makeup,
1144
00:58:09,750 --> 00:58:13,380
hair, and costume people to
work on Norma's trial face.
1145
00:58:13,380 --> 00:58:16,230
- I am not wearing that, it looks geeky.
1146
00:58:16,230 --> 00:58:17,880
I want my red dress!
1147
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:18,713
- [Assistant] A bitch.
1148
00:58:18,713 --> 00:58:19,546
- [Assistant] Come on.
1149
00:58:19,546 --> 00:58:21,600
- Focus groups hated the red dress.
1150
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,250
They thought only a guilty slut
1151
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:24,700
would wear a dress like that.
1152
00:58:25,860 --> 00:58:28,113
- Fine, I'll get it myself.
1153
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:32,403
- And no smoking until this is over.
1154
00:58:33,727 --> 00:58:35,220
- "Don't do this, don't do that."
1155
00:58:35,220 --> 00:58:37,740
Jesus, you sound like my stepmother.
1156
00:58:37,740 --> 00:58:41,250
- Don't get any ideas, babe,
I sleep in asbestos underwear.
1157
00:58:41,250 --> 00:58:44,610
Now, do as I say and you'll
walk out of here a free woman
1158
00:58:44,610 --> 00:58:47,610
and into a $6 million book deal,
1159
00:58:47,610 --> 00:58:49,953
which of course we'll split 50 50.
1160
00:58:51,210 --> 00:58:52,710
- Five minutes, Ms. Hazelrigg.
1161
00:58:55,110 --> 00:58:56,763
- The gum, spit.
1162
00:59:00,339 --> 00:59:01,555
(Frank laughs)
1163
00:59:01,555 --> 00:59:04,722
(slow dramatic music)
1164
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,190
- Good afternoon, we are back with day one
1165
00:59:08,190 --> 00:59:10,650
of the People Vs. Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1166
00:59:10,650 --> 00:59:12,680
Now, earlier this morning,
the District Attorney
1167
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:16,440
in his opening statement
presented a devastating portrait
1168
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:19,830
of Norma Jean Hazelrigg
as a remorseless killer.
1169
00:59:19,830 --> 00:59:22,650
Now, for the defense, Attorney
Noble Hart is getting ready
1170
00:59:22,650 --> 00:59:24,270
to address the jury.
1171
00:59:24,270 --> 00:59:26,880
- [Frank] So here we were, opening day.
1172
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,560
I convinced Brian Keith to fly in
1173
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,960
to immerse himself in
the role of Noble Hart,
1174
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,000
and at his own expense.
1175
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,060
Nice guy, but I started
to think if I dumped Keith
1176
00:59:36,060 --> 00:59:37,620
and hired Tommy Lee Jones,
1177
00:59:37,620 --> 00:59:39,827
I can open theatrically
in foreign markets.
1178
00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:40,660
(gavel bangs)
1179
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:41,943
- You may proceed, Mr. Hart.
1180
00:59:42,780 --> 00:59:44,253
- Thank you, your honor.
1181
00:59:45,300 --> 00:59:47,403
Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
1182
00:59:49,380 --> 00:59:54,380
after listening to opposing
counsel's impassioned remarks,
1183
00:59:54,780 --> 00:59:56,820
I don't think I'd blame any one member
1184
00:59:56,820 --> 01:00:00,690
of this jury if you just decided
to forget about the trial,
1185
01:00:00,690 --> 01:00:03,251
string my client up in the town square.
1186
01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:06,570
(group laughs)
1187
01:00:06,570 --> 01:00:09,000
- [Frank] Noble had the jury
in the palm of his hand,
1188
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:09,833
and he should have,
1189
01:00:09,833 --> 01:00:12,150
his dialogue was costing me $1,000 a word.
1190
01:00:12,150 --> 01:00:15,860
- However, before you go
and build her gallows high,
1191
01:00:15,860 --> 01:00:18,120
(slow orchestral music)
1192
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:19,050
let me, if I may,
1193
01:00:19,050 --> 01:00:24,050
introduce you to the real
Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1194
01:00:26,659 --> 01:00:29,409
(doors creaking)
1195
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:33,558
- [Audience Member] She's just a baby.
1196
01:00:33,558 --> 01:00:38,558
(group chattering)
(slow music continues)
1197
01:00:44,388 --> 01:00:47,939
- Come on over here, just sit down there.
1198
01:00:47,939 --> 01:00:50,580
Take your seat like a good girl.
1199
01:00:50,580 --> 01:00:53,400
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want y'all
1200
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:58,400
to ask yourselves if this
couldn't be your own child,
1201
01:00:59,820 --> 01:01:04,113
frightened, lonely, confused.
1202
01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:07,713
Now, out of respect
for your sensibilities,
1203
01:01:08,550 --> 01:01:11,733
I'm not gonna catalog
all the horrible things-
1204
01:01:11,733 --> 01:01:12,990
- Love the trial, Frank.
1205
01:01:12,990 --> 01:01:15,635
It's got "not guilty" written all over it.
1206
01:01:15,635 --> 01:01:18,120
- [Frank] Farrit, that little suck up,
1207
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:19,710
what was he hanging around for?
1208
01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:21,030
- Mr. Keith, Todd Farrit,
1209
01:01:21,030 --> 01:01:23,970
Bashful Ben Productions, love your work.
1210
01:01:23,970 --> 01:01:28,802
Hey, I grew up on "Family
Affair," well, reruns.
1211
01:01:28,802 --> 01:01:31,263
- The deprivations and the insults,
1212
01:01:32,340 --> 01:01:35,250
but I'd rather save you that pain-
1213
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:38,100
- Hey, hey, I just had a crazy idea.
1214
01:01:38,100 --> 01:01:39,690
You would be perfect for this MOW
1215
01:01:39,690 --> 01:01:42,690
I'm doing over at Fox,
could be a backdoor pilot.
1216
01:01:42,690 --> 01:01:44,070
You'd play this country doctor
1217
01:01:44,070 --> 01:01:46,560
who becomes the head of
Disease Control in Atlanta.
1218
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:49,050
Every week, you're tracking
down a mutant virus.
1219
01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:52,170
It's "Columbo" meets "Outbreak."
1220
01:01:52,170 --> 01:01:53,967
- He doesn't do episodic anymore,
1221
01:01:53,967 --> 01:01:55,710
and you should be ashamed of yourself,
1222
01:01:55,710 --> 01:01:57,180
working a murder trial.
1223
01:01:57,180 --> 01:01:59,400
Think of the victims.
(group chattering)
1224
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:00,483
- Quiet over there.
1225
01:02:02,940 --> 01:02:07,136
- Sorry, sorry.
(group chattering)
1226
01:02:07,136 --> 01:02:08,843
- [Judge] You may proceed, Mr. Hart.
1227
01:02:10,350 --> 01:02:11,725
- [Noble] And so.
1228
01:02:11,725 --> 01:02:12,558
- Shh!
1229
01:02:13,530 --> 01:02:15,480
- I'll catch up to you during recess.
1230
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,040
- Right.
1231
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:20,433
- Finally, my friends,
when all hope was gone,
1232
01:02:21,630 --> 01:02:25,533
when every avenue of
recourse was closed to her,
1233
01:02:27,690 --> 01:02:30,723
that little girl struck out bravely.
1234
01:02:31,710 --> 01:02:36,508
She struck out against evil.
(slow orchestral music)
1235
01:02:36,508 --> 01:02:37,620
(jury member cries)
1236
01:02:37,620 --> 01:02:39,720
That's why I know deep in my heart
1237
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:44,340
that you 12 good people
are gonna be speaking
1238
01:02:44,340 --> 01:02:47,043
for all of us when you say to her,
1239
01:02:47,977 --> 01:02:49,053
"Norma Jean,
1240
01:02:50,250 --> 01:02:54,073
we forgive you and find you not guilty."
1241
01:02:56,513 --> 01:02:59,430
(group chattering)
1242
01:03:01,742 --> 01:03:02,575
Thank you.
1243
01:03:04,651 --> 01:03:07,050
There you are, darling,
you give it a good blow.
1244
01:03:07,050 --> 01:03:07,883
- Thank you. (cries)
1245
01:03:07,883 --> 01:03:09,930
- Another eloquent opening statement
1246
01:03:09,930 --> 01:03:13,440
from the old Texas longhorn
himself, Noble Hart.
1247
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:15,420
Right now, we're gonna
talk to our trial experts,
1248
01:03:15,420 --> 01:03:17,550
former prosecutor Robert Philibosian,
1249
01:03:17,550 --> 01:03:20,370
and Robert, how would you
rate Noble Hart's opening?
1250
01:03:20,370 --> 01:03:23,160
- Well, nobody connects
with a jury like Noble Hart.
1251
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:26,130
He did what he had to
do, portraying his client
1252
01:03:26,130 --> 01:03:29,820
as a victimized child
with no place to turn.
1253
01:03:29,820 --> 01:03:32,160
Today was a clear victory for the defense,
1254
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,560
and the prosecution must be reeling.
1255
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:36,480
- Okay, we're gonna go now to Los Angeles,
1256
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:37,710
Attorney Gloria Allred.
1257
01:03:37,710 --> 01:03:39,240
Gloria, how would you rate Hart's opening?
1258
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:40,890
- It was all smoke and mirrors.
1259
01:03:40,890 --> 01:03:43,380
He's asking the jury to acquit this woman
1260
01:03:43,380 --> 01:03:47,370
after she murdered her whole
family in cold blood, why?
1261
01:03:47,370 --> 01:03:50,160
Because they made her do the dishes?
1262
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,470
What kind of message are we sending here?
1263
01:03:52,470 --> 01:03:55,320
- Gloria, I was merely commenting
on the defense's style-
1264
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:59,070
- So am I, and it was sleazy.
1265
01:03:59,070 --> 01:04:02,220
- Thank you very much, Gloria
Allred and Robert Philibosian.
1266
01:04:02,220 --> 01:04:03,600
You've certainly put opening day
1267
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,690
in crystal clear perspective.
1268
01:04:06,690 --> 01:04:07,890
They've just called a recess,
1269
01:04:07,890 --> 01:04:09,750
so we're actually gonna cut
to New York where the trial
1270
01:04:09,750 --> 01:04:13,500
of alleged terrorist Sheik
Abdul Achmed is in full swing,
1271
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:15,600
and what's interesting about this trial is
1272
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,940
you'll notice the blind cleric is serving
1273
01:04:17,940 --> 01:04:19,293
as his own counsel.
1274
01:04:21,740 --> 01:04:23,820
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1275
01:04:23,820 --> 01:04:25,424
- Isn't it true, officer?
1276
01:04:25,424 --> 01:04:28,440
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1277
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:29,411
- That.
1278
01:04:29,411 --> 01:04:31,841
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1279
01:04:31,841 --> 01:04:33,634
- You planted that bomb that framed me?
1280
01:04:33,634 --> 01:04:35,370
(group chattering)
1281
01:04:35,370 --> 01:04:37,376
- Hey, sit down or I'll clear this court.
1282
01:04:37,376 --> 01:04:39,744
- No, sir, it isn't.
1283
01:04:39,744 --> 01:04:44,161
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1284
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:47,936
- You expect the jury to believe
1285
01:04:47,936 --> 01:04:51,243
that you just found the evidence?
1286
01:04:51,243 --> 01:04:53,760
(group chattering)
1287
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:54,784
- Yeah, I do.
1288
01:04:54,784 --> 01:04:57,295
(group chattering)
1289
01:04:57,295 --> 01:04:58,128
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1290
01:04:58,128 --> 01:05:01,081
- Well, fine, may 1,000 criminals fall
1291
01:05:01,081 --> 01:05:03,086
on your bed and writhe.
1292
01:05:03,086 --> 01:05:03,919
(upbeat music)
1293
01:05:03,919 --> 01:05:06,150
- The trial was a ratings bonanza,
1294
01:05:06,150 --> 01:05:09,333
and Norma, she was becoming
a one woman industry.
1295
01:05:10,410 --> 01:05:12,513
There were books,
1296
01:05:13,500 --> 01:05:14,403
calendars,
1297
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:19,863
exercise tapes,
1298
01:05:21,660 --> 01:05:24,063
compact discs,
1299
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:26,643
collector's plates,
1300
01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:29,933
cologne,
1301
01:05:32,243 --> 01:05:34,410
and all the proceeds were being funneled
1302
01:05:34,410 --> 01:05:37,353
to the Christmas fund at banco de Musso.
1303
01:05:39,180 --> 01:05:42,300
Unfortunately, I was so busy
guarding the golden eggs,
1304
01:05:42,300 --> 01:05:45,936
I may have been neglecting the goose.
1305
01:05:45,936 --> 01:05:48,420
Oh, oh, oh. (laughs)
1306
01:05:48,420 --> 01:05:51,753
Thank you, Malene, but
next time, more hundreds.
1307
01:05:53,006 --> 01:05:55,344
(phone rings)
1308
01:05:55,344 --> 01:05:56,594
Coming, coming.
1309
01:05:58,941 --> 01:06:00,690
(phone rings)
1310
01:06:00,690 --> 01:06:02,520
Musso Productions.
1311
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:03,510
- Frank.
1312
01:06:03,510 --> 01:06:07,100
- Oh, hi, Norma, how
are they treating you?
1313
01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:09,870
- We were supposed to have
our conjugal visit tonight.
1314
01:06:09,870 --> 01:06:11,043
- Was that tonight?
1315
01:06:12,030 --> 01:06:13,410
I am sorry, babe,
1316
01:06:13,410 --> 01:06:16,470
I am in a meeting right
now with the network.
1317
01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:18,180
Kim says hi.
1318
01:06:18,180 --> 01:06:19,173
- Are you sure?
1319
01:06:21,226 --> 01:06:22,740
'Cause I don't know if
I trust you anymore.
1320
01:06:22,740 --> 01:06:24,450
You haven't been coming
around much lately.
1321
01:06:24,450 --> 01:06:28,080
- You are never out of
my thoughts, Cinderella.
1322
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,150
Look, I'll be up to see you tomorrow.
1323
01:06:30,150 --> 01:06:32,433
Meanwhile, learn your testimony.
1324
01:06:34,990 --> 01:06:36,735
(Norma sighs)
1325
01:06:36,735 --> 01:06:38,640
(slow music)
1326
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:42,633
- Come on in, the currency is fine.
1327
01:06:45,967 --> 01:06:47,580
(glasses clinking)
1328
01:06:47,580 --> 01:06:49,326
- Visitor, Norma.
1329
01:06:49,326 --> 01:06:52,409
(slow ominous music)
1330
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:03,450
- You know, I really shouldn't be talking
1331
01:07:03,450 --> 01:07:06,420
to another producer, Mr. Farrit,
1332
01:07:06,420 --> 01:07:07,890
but I guess I got nothing else to do,
1333
01:07:07,890 --> 01:07:11,280
since Frank's meeting with
a network executive tonight.
1334
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:14,077
- Well, you're close, Norma,
he's meeting with a hooker.
1335
01:07:14,077 --> 01:07:15,720
- A hooker, Frank?
1336
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:17,730
He'd never pay for it, he's too cheap.
1337
01:07:17,730 --> 01:07:19,230
- Yeah, well, he's had a sudden increase
1338
01:07:19,230 --> 01:07:21,753
in income lately because of you.
1339
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:24,930
- I don't believe it.
1340
01:07:24,930 --> 01:07:28,950
I'm in prison and my man is
two timing me with a tramp.
1341
01:07:28,950 --> 01:07:30,720
I feel like a Tammy Wynette song.
1342
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:33,550
Frank and I are supposed
to be partners, 50 50.
1343
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:36,873
- Mm-hmm, yeah, and that's 50
for Frank and 50 for Musso.
1344
01:07:38,107 --> 01:07:40,290
Hey, Norma, you ever hear
of the Son of Sam Law?
1345
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:41,280
- What's that?
1346
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:42,480
- It's a law in this state that says
1347
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:46,800
if you're convicted of a crime,
you can't profit from it,
1348
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,350
which means your half will go to Frank.
1349
01:07:49,350 --> 01:07:51,950
- But Frank worked it out
so I'm gonna be acquitted.
1350
01:07:52,950 --> 01:07:54,750
- Frank is also meeting
with a network executive.
1351
01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:56,730
- You mean I'm gonna rot in this prison
1352
01:07:56,730 --> 01:07:59,610
for the rest of my life while
Frank spends all my money?
1353
01:07:59,610 --> 01:08:01,337
Those murders were my idea.
1354
01:08:01,337 --> 01:08:03,420
- Norma, Norma, keep your voice down.
1355
01:08:04,690 --> 01:08:07,110
Look, you do as I say and
I'll get you your acquittal
1356
01:08:07,110 --> 01:08:12,110
and all the profits, less a
modest fee for my own services.
1357
01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:14,190
- And what about Frank?
1358
01:08:14,190 --> 01:08:16,350
- Hey, there's always
a little blood spilled
1359
01:08:16,350 --> 01:08:19,383
on these deals, so this
time, it's Musso's.
1360
01:08:22,440 --> 01:08:25,293
- You know, Todd,
1361
01:08:26,700 --> 01:08:28,550
you're really starting to grow on me.
1362
01:08:29,910 --> 01:08:33,030
Why, I bet tonight when I'm
lying all alone in my cot,
1363
01:08:33,030 --> 01:08:34,860
I'll be thinking about you,
1364
01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:36,870
about all the things
that we can do together
1365
01:08:36,870 --> 01:08:41,870
when I get out of here,
things like. (whispers)
1366
01:08:46,343 --> 01:08:48,093
And after that.
1367
01:08:49,170 --> 01:08:50,790
- All right, here's what we have to do.
1368
01:08:50,790 --> 01:08:55,320
- The defense calls Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1369
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:57,870
(door creaks)
(group chattering)
1370
01:08:57,870 --> 01:09:01,470
- [Frank] Well, this was
it, el momento de verdad.
1371
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:03,900
If Norma turned in a good
performance on the stand,
1372
01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:05,520
we'd have the happy ending Kim Frost
1373
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,680
and the network were demanding.
1374
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:09,000
- Do you swear to tell the truth,
1375
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:12,900
the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so help you God?
1376
01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:13,743
- I do.
1377
01:09:15,150 --> 01:09:16,033
I really do.
1378
01:09:16,963 --> 01:09:18,595
- [Audience Members] Aww.
1379
01:09:18,595 --> 01:09:21,012
(slow music)
1380
01:09:23,067 --> 01:09:28,067
- And Norma Jean, was there one birthday
1381
01:09:28,440 --> 01:09:29,850
that sticks in your mind
1382
01:09:29,850 --> 01:09:32,943
as having been particularly traumatic?
1383
01:09:33,780 --> 01:09:34,613
- Yes, sir.
1384
01:09:38,190 --> 01:09:39,963
That would be my 10th birthday.
1385
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:42,750
My stepmother told me I wasn't blood kin,
1386
01:09:42,750 --> 01:09:44,880
so I didn't deserve a birthday party,
1387
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:48,863
but Frieda had a party,
a big one every year.
1388
01:09:48,863 --> 01:09:50,610
(group chattering)
1389
01:09:50,610 --> 01:09:54,120
- [Frank] Right on cue,
Norma came off as sincere,
1390
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:57,120
honest, and innocent, the kid could act.
1391
01:09:57,120 --> 01:10:00,570
- And tell us, how long
did she keep you locked up
1392
01:10:00,570 --> 01:10:03,093
in that cold, damp closet?
1393
01:10:04,170 --> 01:10:07,050
- Oh, I can't remember. (cries)
1394
01:10:07,050 --> 01:10:09,280
Is July the month with 31 days?
1395
01:10:10,470 --> 01:10:15,470
- Oh.
(group chattering)
1396
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:20,310
Now, Norma Jean, you have
always maintained right
1397
01:10:20,310 --> 01:10:24,270
from the beginning that you, a minor,
1398
01:10:24,270 --> 01:10:27,753
acted alone on that
night of April the 16th.
1399
01:10:28,770 --> 01:10:31,920
Was that the God's honest truth, child?
1400
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,743
And remember, you're under a sacred oath.
1401
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:39,870
- No, it's not true.
(slow dramatic music)
1402
01:10:39,870 --> 01:10:41,760
- [Frank] Where was this
new dialogue coming from?
1403
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:42,750
It wasn't in the script.
1404
01:10:42,750 --> 01:10:46,050
- Are you telling this court
that you had an accomplice,
1405
01:10:46,050 --> 01:10:48,720
a real mastermind of this crime?
1406
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:50,250
- Yes, sir, I am.
1407
01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:53,370
- Oh, don't shield him any longer, child.
1408
01:10:53,370 --> 01:10:54,540
He can't hurt you now.
1409
01:10:54,540 --> 01:10:58,170
- It was Frank Musso, he
made me kill my family.
1410
01:10:58,170 --> 01:10:59,843
I didn't want to do it, but he forced me.
1411
01:10:59,843 --> 01:11:01,860
- [Frank] Why was Norma doing this?
1412
01:11:01,860 --> 01:11:04,143
I didn't have to look
very far for an answer.
1413
01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:08,853
Farrit, of course, who
did he think he was, me?
1414
01:11:10,482 --> 01:11:11,315
- [Audience Member] Stop him.
1415
01:11:11,315 --> 01:11:12,661
- Bailiff, detain that man!
1416
01:11:12,661 --> 01:11:13,494
- [Audience Member] Get him.
1417
01:11:13,494 --> 01:11:16,590
- [Frank] Now it all added up
and I didn't like that math.
1418
01:11:16,590 --> 01:11:19,260
Ferrit must have cut Noble
in for a piece of the action,
1419
01:11:19,260 --> 01:11:21,150
but the producer in me had to admit,
1420
01:11:21,150 --> 01:11:22,440
it was a hell of a plot twist.
1421
01:11:22,440 --> 01:11:23,523
- Frank, wait.
1422
01:11:26,010 --> 01:11:27,243
I'm sorry, Frank.
1423
01:11:28,099 --> 01:11:30,303
Farrit just made the numbers work.
1424
01:11:31,890 --> 01:11:33,810
- Hey, it's a career move.
(slow orchestral music)
1425
01:11:33,810 --> 01:11:35,460
I'd had done the same thing.
1426
01:11:35,460 --> 01:11:38,310
Oh, and Noble, Brian Keith
is much better looking.
1427
01:11:38,310 --> 01:11:39,360
- [Bailiff] Let's go.
1428
01:11:40,530 --> 01:11:43,623
- Frank, you know, the funny thing is,
1429
01:11:44,490 --> 01:11:46,470
I've always loved you.
1430
01:11:46,470 --> 01:11:47,373
- Funny thing is,
1431
01:11:49,620 --> 01:11:50,453
I believe it.
1432
01:11:50,453 --> 01:11:51,286
- [Speaker] Get him out of here.
1433
01:11:51,286 --> 01:11:52,119
- [Speaker] Come on.
1434
01:11:52,119 --> 01:11:53,433
- Cover people, Frank.
1435
01:11:55,110 --> 01:11:56,520
- Cover up people, babe.
1436
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:57,563
- [Bailiff] Let's go.
1437
01:11:59,974 --> 01:12:01,077
(door slams)
1438
01:12:01,077 --> 01:12:03,266
- [Prisoner] Hey, hey,
excuse me, excuse me.
1439
01:12:03,266 --> 01:12:05,667
I got something for you, man, hey, hey.
1440
01:12:06,912 --> 01:12:09,745
(thunder rumbles)
1441
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,590
- You can guess the next plot point.
1442
01:12:13,590 --> 01:12:16,773
Norma was acquitted and I took the fall.
1443
01:12:18,090 --> 01:12:22,383
She pleaded psychological abuse
that I had brainwashed her.
1444
01:12:23,820 --> 01:12:26,460
It's kind of funny, I
got into this whole thing
1445
01:12:26,460 --> 01:12:29,097
because I saw a sign that said, "free,"
1446
01:12:30,030 --> 01:12:32,370
and now I'll never be free again.
1447
01:12:32,370 --> 01:12:34,650
(thunder rumbles)
1448
01:12:34,650 --> 01:12:37,050
- Well, son, it's time.
1449
01:12:37,050 --> 01:12:41,133
- Yeah, father, I guess
there's no putting it off.
1450
01:12:45,727 --> 01:12:47,760
- [Announcer] "Boosler,"
starring Elaine Boosler
1451
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:50,220
and "Crime: He Taught,"
starring Pat Morita,
1452
01:12:50,220 --> 01:12:51,510
will not be seen tonight
1453
01:12:51,510 --> 01:12:54,393
so that we may bring you the
follow special presentation.
1454
01:12:55,440 --> 01:12:57,900
- [Announcer] Tonight,
the trial of the century
1455
01:12:57,900 --> 01:13:00,510
becomes the miniseries of the millennium,
1456
01:13:00,510 --> 01:13:03,270
the story that set America on fire.
1457
01:13:03,270 --> 01:13:07,350
Now, Charlene Tilton is
Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1458
01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:11,160
- Please, Frank, I really love my family.
1459
01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:12,240
Don't make me do this
1460
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:14,670
just so you can revive
your floundering career.
1461
01:13:14,670 --> 01:13:16,320
- Who says my career is floundering?
1462
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:19,710
- [Announcer] Ed Marinaro
is the evil Frank Musso.
1463
01:13:19,710 --> 01:13:20,543
- Shut up.
1464
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,633
Your step family has to
die so I can make my deal.
1465
01:13:26,940 --> 01:13:31,940
And if you don't kill them,
I'll kill you. (laughs)
1466
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,900
- What am I, Joey Buttafuoco?
1467
01:13:33,900 --> 01:13:35,250
That's not the way it was, father.
1468
01:13:35,250 --> 01:13:37,260
Honest, it was her idea.
1469
01:13:37,260 --> 01:13:39,600
- [Announcer] With Robert
Culp as Attorney Noble Hart.
1470
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:43,560
- Child, are you covering
for this Musso scoundrel?
1471
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:45,180
- What happened to Brian Keith?
1472
01:13:45,180 --> 01:13:46,590
- His series got picked up.
1473
01:13:46,590 --> 01:13:49,920
- 'Cause darling, truth's like
a polecat in a gunny sack.
1474
01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:51,510
Sooner or later, it's gonna get out,
1475
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:52,913
whether you want it to or not.
1476
01:13:52,913 --> 01:13:55,830
- I don't believe this corny dialogue.
1477
01:13:55,830 --> 01:13:57,000
- Oh, now, this is what I call
1478
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,040
an attorney client relationship.
1479
01:13:59,040 --> 01:14:02,280
- [Announcer] Charlene Tilton, Ed Marinaro
1480
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:05,940
in "Cinderella and the Beast."
1481
01:14:05,940 --> 01:14:07,980
- They don't have to execute me.
1482
01:14:07,980 --> 01:14:09,753
They're hanging me in primetime.
1483
01:14:12,060 --> 01:14:14,430
You know what really kills me, father?
1484
01:14:14,430 --> 01:14:17,730
Todd Farrit beat me out of my own movie.
1485
01:14:17,730 --> 01:14:20,080
That should have been a
Frank Musso production.
1486
01:14:21,420 --> 01:14:23,613
Now I'll never get another chance.
1487
01:14:25,247 --> 01:14:26,550
(thunder rumbles)
1488
01:14:26,550 --> 01:14:30,333
- Musso, here's the
menu for your last meal.
1489
01:14:33,060 --> 01:14:36,060
I recommend the Cajun crawfish.
1490
01:14:36,060 --> 01:14:38,660
- Spicy food always gives
me heartburn the next day.
1491
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:43,833
What am I saying, I'll take the crawfish.
1492
01:14:45,210 --> 01:14:46,060
- It's good here.
1493
01:14:48,299 --> 01:14:50,737
(thunder rumbles)
1494
01:14:50,737 --> 01:14:51,570
- Hell!
1495
01:14:52,650 --> 01:14:55,680
On second thought, tell the
warden I changed my mind.
1496
01:14:55,680 --> 01:15:00,673
I don't want a last meal, I
want a last deal. (laughs)
1497
01:15:01,767 --> 01:15:02,600
(upbeat music)
1498
01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:04,320
- [Announcer] Live from death row,
1499
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:08,790
pay-per-view proudly presents
the execution of Frank Musso,
1500
01:15:08,790 --> 01:15:10,350
a Frank Musso production.
1501
01:15:10,350 --> 01:15:12,510
Special guest stars, Tony Bennett,
1502
01:15:12,510 --> 01:15:15,930
Ms. Pia Zadora, the magic
of David Copperfield,
1503
01:15:15,930 --> 01:15:19,260
Cal Ripken, Jr., Salt n' Pepa,
1504
01:15:19,260 --> 01:15:22,140
Quentin Tarantino, iron Mike Tyson,
1505
01:15:22,140 --> 01:15:24,420
an inspirational message from
the Reverend Billy Graham,
1506
01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:27,963
Boyz II Men, and Brian Dennehy.
1507
01:15:29,223 --> 01:15:32,430
(upbeat orchestral music)
1508
01:15:32,430 --> 01:15:35,970
And now, in a special
final tribute to Frank,
1509
01:15:35,970 --> 01:15:39,167
direct from Broadway, Ms. Pia Zadora.
1510
01:15:41,027 --> 01:15:46,027
(slow orchestral music)
(audience cheers)
1511
01:15:49,157 --> 01:15:53,812
♪ Well, Frank, the moment's near ♪
1512
01:15:53,812 --> 01:15:58,812
♪ And, yes, I fear your
time's elapsed now ♪
1513
01:15:59,286 --> 01:16:04,214
♪ Yes, Frank, with one deep breath ♪
1514
01:16:04,214 --> 01:16:06,838
♪ You'll meet your death ♪
1515
01:16:06,838 --> 01:16:09,654
♪ When they pass the gas now ♪
1516
01:16:09,654 --> 01:16:14,259
♪ But still, you've had your fun ♪
1517
01:16:14,259 --> 01:16:17,236
♪ You're number one ♪
1518
01:16:17,236 --> 01:16:19,766
♪ From Maine to Norway ♪
1519
01:16:19,766 --> 01:16:22,373
♪ Where the pellets fall ♪
1520
01:16:22,373 --> 01:16:24,869
♪ You did it all ♪
1521
01:16:24,869 --> 01:16:28,036
♪ And did it your way ♪
1522
01:16:30,867 --> 01:16:32,790
Any last words, Frank?
1523
01:16:32,790 --> 01:16:34,270
- Top this, Farrit.
1524
01:16:36,467 --> 01:16:40,455
♪ You'll soon be dead ♪
1525
01:16:40,455 --> 01:16:43,156
♪ But you don't care ♪
1526
01:16:43,156 --> 01:16:48,156
♪ 'Cause you'll be dead with a 40 share ♪
1527
01:16:48,917 --> 01:16:51,827
♪ You took the fall now ♪
1528
01:16:51,827 --> 01:16:55,492
♪ But what a haul now ♪
1529
01:16:55,492 --> 01:17:00,492
♪ And you got it all now ♪
1530
01:17:00,629 --> 01:17:03,712
♪ And it's all Musso ♪
1531
01:17:10,835 --> 01:17:13,654
- [Announcer] Everyone
must leave the chamber.
1532
01:17:13,654 --> 01:17:15,357
Clear all doors and evacuate the chamber
1533
01:17:15,357 --> 01:17:17,507
for your own safety now, now.
1534
01:17:19,315 --> 01:17:22,898
(ominous orchestral music)
1535
01:17:26,546 --> 01:17:29,880
(Frank cackles)
1536
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:33,600
- [Frank] Yeah, if I had to
go, I was gonna go out my way,
1537
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:35,520
with the highest grossing
pay-per-view special
1538
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:38,070
in cable history, 20 million domestic,
1539
01:17:38,070 --> 01:17:39,993
exclusive of foreign and video rights.
1540
01:17:42,618 --> 01:17:43,451
(slow music)
1541
01:17:43,451 --> 01:17:47,010
As for my funeral, let's
say it opened soft.
1542
01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:48,630
You see, I made the mistake of dying
1543
01:17:48,630 --> 01:17:51,330
on the Labor Day weekend,
which is traditionally slow.
1544
01:17:52,500 --> 01:17:55,290
Hey, look who's here, Ziggy Brillman.
1545
01:17:55,290 --> 01:17:57,540
I take back everything
I ever said about him.
1546
01:17:57,540 --> 01:17:58,840
The man is a mensch.
1547
01:17:58,840 --> 01:18:01,743
- Barry, look around.
1548
01:18:02,580 --> 01:18:04,530
Hey, what do you see?
1549
01:18:04,530 --> 01:18:05,490
- [Barry] Nobody, Grandpa.
1550
01:18:05,490 --> 01:18:09,090
- Exactly, I just wanted to show you
1551
01:18:09,090 --> 01:18:11,340
what kind of a send off you get
1552
01:18:11,340 --> 01:18:15,690
when you're a no-good ganef
like Musso, all right?
1553
01:18:15,690 --> 01:18:16,523
- Okay.
1554
01:18:18,210 --> 01:18:21,386
- [Ziggy] Now, how about a
little nosh at Nate 'n Al's?
1555
01:18:21,386 --> 01:18:22,219
- [Barry] Okay.
1556
01:18:22,219 --> 01:18:25,350
- [Ziggy] But don't tell
Grandma, she'll hit me. (laughs)
1557
01:18:25,350 --> 01:18:28,440
- [Frank] Thanks a lot,
Ziggy, touching eulogy.
1558
01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:29,687
- [Ziggy] Bye, Musso.
1559
01:18:29,687 --> 01:18:31,323
- [Barry] Bye, Musso.
1560
01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:36,330
- [Frank] Wait, who's this?
1561
01:18:36,330 --> 01:18:38,103
Word of mouth must be building.
1562
01:18:43,803 --> 01:18:44,636
(car door slams)
1563
01:18:44,636 --> 01:18:48,600
Norma, she always looked
dynamite in black.
1564
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:50,853
Either I'm excited or
it's the rigor mortis.
1565
01:18:51,930 --> 01:18:52,863
- Bye, Frank.
1566
01:18:56,940 --> 01:18:59,790
- [Frank] Bye, Norma,
we made a great team.
1567
01:18:59,790 --> 01:19:02,850
In case you're wondering, she
wised up and dumped Farrit,
1568
01:19:02,850 --> 01:19:05,520
married a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.
1569
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:06,843
Good for you, baby.
1570
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:12,060
Oh, one more thing,
1571
01:19:12,060 --> 01:19:15,090
remember that 20 million
my execution grossed?
1572
01:19:15,090 --> 01:19:17,400
I found the little loophole in the law.
1573
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:19,560
It seems that convicted
criminals can't profit
1574
01:19:19,560 --> 01:19:22,773
from their deeds, but
only while they're alive.
1575
01:19:25,498 --> 01:19:29,073
- Yeah, this is the place, all right.
1576
01:19:29,073 --> 01:19:30,723
Well, this is fun.
1577
01:19:31,911 --> 01:19:35,340
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
(Frank moans)
1578
01:19:35,340 --> 01:19:36,590
- [Frank] That felt good.
1579
01:19:37,594 --> 01:19:41,589
Yes, yes, who says you
can't take it with you?
1580
01:19:41,589 --> 01:19:44,006
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1581
01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,649
(jingle bells ringing)
1582
01:19:56,649 --> 01:19:59,482
(slow rock music)
1583
01:20:02,999 --> 01:20:05,332
- Look at me when I'm yelling at you,
1584
01:20:05,332 --> 01:20:06,360
and don't start that crying crap,
1585
01:20:06,360 --> 01:20:07,830
'cause it ain't gonna work this time
1586
01:20:07,830 --> 01:20:09,420
'cause I'm right and you're wrong.
1587
01:20:09,420 --> 01:20:11,400
You are totally fucking wrong.
1588
01:20:11,400 --> 01:20:16,200
Now me, I, the one who's
right, is gonna go get you,
1589
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:21,200
the one who is abso-fucking-lutely
wrong, a box of tampons,
1590
01:20:21,240 --> 01:20:22,320
because that's the kind
1591
01:20:22,320 --> 01:20:25,530
of forgiving fucking human being I am.
1592
01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:27,000
So I'll tell you what, honey.
1593
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:27,960
While I'm out in the middle
1594
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:30,690
of the fucking night getting
you your goddamn tampons,
1595
01:20:30,690 --> 01:20:32,430
I want you to sit here and think
1596
01:20:32,430 --> 01:20:35,040
about how right I am
and how wrong you are.
1597
01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:36,300
So turn off the taps
1598
01:20:36,300 --> 01:20:39,546
and start thinking up a
goddamn good fucking apology,
1599
01:20:39,546 --> 01:20:41,490
do you understand me, little lady?
1600
01:20:42,456 --> 01:20:45,289
(slow rock music)
1601
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:49,425
(gong rattles)
1602
01:20:50,648 --> 01:20:52,679
(door slams)
1603
01:20:52,679 --> 01:20:56,346
(slow rock music continues)
1604
01:20:58,005 --> 01:21:01,172
(car tires squealing)
1605
01:21:03,034 --> 01:21:06,712
My life's become one big fucking tampon.
1606
01:21:06,712 --> 01:21:09,212
(siren wails)
1607
01:21:10,381 --> 01:21:14,091
(slow rock music continues)
1608
01:21:14,091 --> 01:21:15,961
(Richard laughs)
1609
01:21:15,961 --> 01:21:20,200
Pick a lane, asshole! (laughs)
1610
01:21:20,200 --> 01:21:23,867
(slow rock music continues)
1611
01:21:31,632 --> 01:21:34,282
Get your tampons, I'll
get you fucking tampons.
1612
01:21:34,282 --> 01:21:36,793
Move the fuck out of the way.
(car horn honks)
1613
01:21:36,793 --> 01:21:40,281
Goddammit. (background
noise drowns out speaker)
1614
01:21:40,281 --> 01:21:43,948
(slow rock music continues)
1615
01:21:45,162 --> 01:21:46,601
(car horn honks)
(flames crackling)
1616
01:21:46,601 --> 01:21:49,518
(slow organ music)
1617
01:21:56,474 --> 01:21:59,307
(slow rock music)
1618
01:22:00,263 --> 01:22:03,096
Who the fuck gets buried at night?
1619
01:22:04,457 --> 01:22:06,633
Are you fucking Dracula?
1620
01:22:06,633 --> 01:22:10,069
Get the fuck out of
the way, motherfuckers!
1621
01:22:10,069 --> 01:22:11,858
- [Speaker] You're next, asshole.
1622
01:22:11,858 --> 01:22:15,525
(slow rock music continues)
1623
01:22:16,710 --> 01:22:18,790
- Where's the fucking tampons?
1624
01:22:18,790 --> 01:22:21,957
(slow elevator music)
1625
01:22:24,930 --> 01:22:26,520
I gotta come out in the middle
1626
01:22:26,520 --> 01:22:28,770
of the fucking night, move, lady,
1627
01:22:28,770 --> 01:22:31,920
I go through this every
fucking month (indistinct).
1628
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:34,950
Unreal, you know what it is, no respect.
1629
01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:38,640
That's what it is, every
month, the same shit.
1630
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:39,977
Get this pad, get that pad, then you get
1631
01:22:39,977 --> 01:22:41,583
to the fucking store, they hide it on you.
1632
01:22:41,583 --> 01:22:43,920
They want you to look like an asshole.
1633
01:22:43,920 --> 01:22:47,736
All right, well, where the
fuck are they, huh, huh?
1634
01:22:47,736 --> 01:22:49,247
Oh, here we go, here we go.
1635
01:22:49,247 --> 01:22:51,900
Let me see, douche, douche bag,
1636
01:22:51,900 --> 01:22:54,000
lemon fresh tampons, we got all kinds,
1637
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:56,670
so we got the super slim,
we got every fucking thing,
1638
01:22:56,670 --> 01:22:58,803
I just need some fucking tampons!
1639
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:05,450
Oh, all right.
1640
01:23:08,707 --> 01:23:12,003
"Guns N' Pussy," I've been
waiting for this issue.
1641
01:23:15,016 --> 01:23:17,130
(Richard crows)
1642
01:23:17,130 --> 01:23:20,503
Talk about your grassy knoll. (laughs)
1643
01:23:21,420 --> 01:23:23,640
- Hey, mister, what's so funny?
1644
01:23:23,640 --> 01:23:26,250
- Everything, Urkel, if you know how
1645
01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:27,960
to look at it the right way.
1646
01:23:27,960 --> 01:23:29,680
- What did I just tell you?
1647
01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:31,803
Get over here, now!
1648
01:23:33,420 --> 01:23:35,460
- Fight the power, kid.
1649
01:23:35,460 --> 01:23:37,830
- You got some kind of problem, mister?
1650
01:23:37,830 --> 01:23:40,630
- Sorry about your mom,
better luck next time.
1651
01:23:40,630 --> 01:23:41,863
- Fuck you!
1652
01:23:41,863 --> 01:23:45,150
(slow rock music)
1653
01:23:45,150 --> 01:23:48,373
- You wish, Whitney. (laughs)
1654
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:53,070
Hey, nice time to be feeding your cat.
1655
01:23:53,070 --> 01:23:55,530
Kitty must be getting real fucking hungry.
1656
01:23:55,530 --> 01:23:57,030
Look at this, how would you like
1657
01:23:57,030 --> 01:23:58,580
to be eating at that time, huh?
1658
01:23:59,610 --> 01:24:03,450
You're writing a check
for three fucking dollars?
1659
01:24:03,450 --> 01:24:05,850
I gotta wait for you to write a check
1660
01:24:05,850 --> 01:24:08,286
for three fucking dollars?
1661
01:24:08,286 --> 01:24:10,470
- Driver's license.
1662
01:24:10,470 --> 01:24:12,300
- Driver's license,
don't you hear the man?
1663
01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:13,133
- Yes.
1664
01:24:13,133 --> 01:24:15,060
- Don't you understand this shit yet?
1665
01:24:15,060 --> 01:24:16,440
- I don't have it with me.
1666
01:24:16,440 --> 01:24:18,870
- Jesus fucking Christ, is this, like,
1667
01:24:18,870 --> 01:24:22,473
the first time you ever
been shopping, I mean, ever?
1668
01:24:23,850 --> 01:24:26,370
All right, I'll vouch for her,
she's from the neighborhood.
1669
01:24:26,370 --> 01:24:28,653
- No, no, no, I need driver's license-
1670
01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:30,660
- You need-
1671
01:24:30,660 --> 01:24:32,340
- Just forget it.
- You need speech lessons,
1672
01:24:32,340 --> 01:24:34,290
you dumb fuck, yeah, get the fuck,
1673
01:24:34,290 --> 01:24:36,300
yeah, how's your cat gonna feel now, eh?
1674
01:24:36,300 --> 01:24:38,280
What, are you gonna let
little Frisky starve?
1675
01:24:38,280 --> 01:24:39,510
- Fuck the cat, fuck you.
1676
01:24:39,510 --> 01:24:41,160
- Fuck me, fuck you.
1677
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:42,090
- Fuck you.
1678
01:24:42,090 --> 01:24:43,063
- Fuck both of yous.
1679
01:24:43,063 --> 01:24:46,110
- Eat out of my butt,
you eat out of my butt.
1680
01:24:46,110 --> 01:24:47,475
- Eat out of his butt.
1681
01:24:47,475 --> 01:24:48,308
- Fuck you!
1682
01:24:48,308 --> 01:24:49,470
- Get the fuck out of here!
1683
01:24:49,470 --> 01:24:50,810
- Get the fuck out of here.
1684
01:24:50,810 --> 01:24:53,394
- [Richard] Do you believe that shit, eh?
1685
01:24:53,394 --> 01:24:55,730
- [Cashier] Oh, I cannot believe it.
1686
01:24:55,730 --> 01:24:58,680
- Gandhi, hey, Gandhi, you blew that sale,
1687
01:24:58,680 --> 01:24:59,850
you know that, don't you?
1688
01:24:59,850 --> 01:25:03,060
And what's with the size
of your head, Jesus Christ.
1689
01:25:03,060 --> 01:25:06,241
I mean it, you really
got a big fucking head.
1690
01:25:06,241 --> 01:25:08,243
(group laughs)
1691
01:25:08,243 --> 01:25:09,210
- My big fucking head.
1692
01:25:09,210 --> 01:25:11,310
- I mean, what fucking
size hat do you wear
1693
01:25:11,310 --> 01:25:13,020
on that fucking head?
1694
01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:14,940
I mean, if you're gonna get
involved in this business,
1695
01:25:14,940 --> 01:25:17,310
you gotta wear like that red top hat
1696
01:25:17,310 --> 01:25:19,770
with the dot in the middle
of your fucking forehead
1697
01:25:19,770 --> 01:25:22,560
with the drapery dress you people wear.
1698
01:25:22,560 --> 01:25:26,160
Hey, you gotta get this
shit together, okay?
1699
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:26,993
- Anything else?
1700
01:25:26,993 --> 01:25:30,663
- Yeah, your mother.
(group laughs)
1701
01:25:30,663 --> 01:25:33,331
Hey, what language is that,
by the way, dumb fuck?
1702
01:25:33,331 --> 01:25:34,860
(group laughs)
1703
01:25:34,860 --> 01:25:36,150
Hey, homie, you get any closer,
1704
01:25:36,150 --> 01:25:38,975
you'd better be wearing
a latex condom, huh?
1705
01:25:38,975 --> 01:25:40,710
(guns clicking)
1706
01:25:40,710 --> 01:25:43,391
- Surprise, give me your fucking money.
1707
01:25:43,391 --> 01:25:45,974
(group laughs)
1708
01:25:47,014 --> 01:25:49,905
Give me the fucking money,
give me the fucking money.
1709
01:25:49,905 --> 01:25:52,560
(group laughs)
1710
01:25:52,560 --> 01:25:54,810
- Hey, nice hairdo, maybe afterwards,
1711
01:25:54,810 --> 01:25:57,683
we'll go to my house,
you'll sand some doors, huh?
1712
01:25:57,683 --> 01:25:58,890
- Shut the fuck up, motherfucker,
1713
01:25:58,890 --> 01:26:01,233
I'll blow your brain to spaghetti sauce.
1714
01:26:01,233 --> 01:26:03,316
- Back off, motherfucker!
1715
01:26:06,313 --> 01:26:08,370
- What are you, a fucking kamikaze?
1716
01:26:08,370 --> 01:26:09,633
You on a fucking mission?
1717
01:26:10,590 --> 01:26:12,093
- My chick's on the rag.
1718
01:26:13,440 --> 01:26:14,730
You think you scare me?
1719
01:26:14,730 --> 01:26:17,160
- Now give me the fucking money!
1720
01:26:17,160 --> 01:26:18,805
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
1721
01:26:18,805 --> 01:26:20,324
why don't you take these with you?
1722
01:26:20,324 --> 01:26:21,510
You know, for the stolen car ride,
1723
01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:23,010
you'll have something to eat.
1724
01:26:23,010 --> 01:26:25,186
Yeah, yeah, I like them tattoos, too.
1725
01:26:25,186 --> 01:26:26,880
Why don't you make a
nice tattoo for "prick"
1726
01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:29,883
across your forehead, eh, you forgot that.
1727
01:26:30,750 --> 01:26:32,996
Why don't you do that, tough guy?
1728
01:26:32,996 --> 01:26:34,977
- You're fucking dead, motherfucker.
1729
01:26:34,977 --> 01:26:35,923
(gun fires)
1730
01:26:35,923 --> 01:26:38,765
(Richard groans)
1731
01:26:38,765 --> 01:26:41,970
- You fucked up my shirt,
now I'm really pissed off.
1732
01:26:41,970 --> 01:26:43,615
- You're pissed off, (indistinct).
1733
01:26:43,615 --> 01:26:44,448
(gun fires)
1734
01:26:44,448 --> 01:26:45,745
(Richard groans)
1735
01:26:45,745 --> 01:26:46,820
Yeah, right, fuck you.
1736
01:26:46,820 --> 01:26:50,050
- Hey, where you going, you
chicken shit motherfuckers?
1737
01:26:50,050 --> 01:26:52,435
Why don't you come back
and fight like the lowlife-
1738
01:26:52,435 --> 01:26:54,935
(guns firing)
1739
01:26:58,703 --> 01:27:00,849
- Hey, that motherfucker's hurting.
1740
01:27:00,849 --> 01:27:02,337
- Bye bye, have a nice day.
1741
01:27:02,337 --> 01:27:03,300
♪ In excelsis deo ♪
1742
01:27:03,300 --> 01:27:08,067
- Hey, Saddam, where in the
hell do you keep the body bags?
1743
01:27:08,067 --> 01:27:08,910
(cashier stammers)
1744
01:27:08,910 --> 01:27:11,013
You dumb fuck.
1745
01:27:11,890 --> 01:27:16,890
(bell tolls)
(dramatic orchestral music)
1746
01:27:19,105 --> 01:27:22,595
(wind whistles)
1747
01:27:22,595 --> 01:27:27,095
(dramatic orchestral music continues)
1748
01:27:34,563 --> 01:27:36,980
(bell tolls)
1749
01:27:38,850 --> 01:27:39,683
Hey, goombah.
1750
01:27:39,683 --> 01:27:40,707
- Huh?
1751
01:27:40,707 --> 01:27:42,593
- Has this line moved since you got here?
1752
01:27:42,593 --> 01:27:43,426
- Shh.
- Shh.
1753
01:27:43,426 --> 01:27:44,310
- What, do you got to take, like,
1754
01:27:44,310 --> 01:27:46,801
a ticket or a number
thing, like at the bakery?
1755
01:27:46,801 --> 01:27:47,634
- Shh.
1756
01:27:47,634 --> 01:27:49,983
- [Speaker] Who is that guy?
1757
01:27:49,983 --> 01:27:51,480
- Open up another window, I mean,
1758
01:27:51,480 --> 01:27:54,385
who do you have to fuck
around here to skip customs?
1759
01:27:54,385 --> 01:27:56,490
(thunder rumbles)
1760
01:27:56,490 --> 01:27:59,315
- Oh, my, this is. (faintly speaking)
1761
01:27:59,315 --> 01:28:02,232
(group chattering)
1762
01:28:03,150 --> 01:28:04,620
- Oh, by the way, copper,
1763
01:28:04,620 --> 01:28:06,600
I never paid my parking tickets. (laughs)
1764
01:28:06,600 --> 01:28:08,373
- Go no further, stop.
1765
01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:10,433
Oh, my.
1766
01:28:10,433 --> 01:28:14,313
- I just bought that issue, stupid ass.
1767
01:28:15,840 --> 01:28:16,961
- Hmm.
1768
01:28:16,961 --> 01:28:18,263
- [Richard] Oh, what do we got here?
1769
01:28:20,970 --> 01:28:23,670
- Are you Richard Spencer?
1770
01:28:23,670 --> 01:28:25,536
- No, I'm the fucking tooth fairy.
1771
01:28:25,536 --> 01:28:26,520
(thunder rumbles)
1772
01:28:26,520 --> 01:28:30,660
- Yes, Mr. Spencer,
through the allotted span
1773
01:28:30,660 --> 01:28:33,120
of your life on earth, our book shows
1774
01:28:33,120 --> 01:28:35,580
that you were on the whole a good man.
1775
01:28:35,580 --> 01:28:38,430
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, all
right, what's your point?
1776
01:28:38,430 --> 01:28:42,030
- But Mr. Spencer, you
have with some constancy,
1777
01:28:42,030 --> 01:28:45,900
even as a young boy, displayed,
1778
01:28:45,900 --> 01:28:49,503
well, cultivated, if you
will, a bit of a temper.
1779
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:53,780
- The fuck are you talking about?
1780
01:28:53,780 --> 01:28:55,950
Hey, with all due respect
to your ass-holiness,
1781
01:28:55,950 --> 01:28:59,430
with your big desk and
your major connections,
1782
01:28:59,430 --> 01:29:01,290
I'm getting a little
goddamn sick and tired
1783
01:29:01,290 --> 01:29:03,600
of always hearing about my problems!
1784
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:05,160
- I'm not saying that.
1785
01:29:05,160 --> 01:29:06,870
- But before you go rushing to judgment
1786
01:29:06,870 --> 01:29:10,723
about my alleged anger, why
don't you do me a favor, huh?
1787
01:29:10,723 --> 01:29:12,180
Why don't you take your saintly head
1788
01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:15,101
and shove it up your saintly ass?
1789
01:29:15,101 --> 01:29:16,081
- Aloha.
1790
01:29:16,081 --> 01:29:17,792
(Richard cries out)
1791
01:29:17,792 --> 01:29:22,479
- This is the last time I
go out for fucking tampons.
1792
01:29:22,479 --> 01:29:24,562
Fuck you, too, Fu Manchu.
1793
01:29:26,526 --> 01:29:29,109
Hey, this must be my lucky day.
1794
01:29:31,697 --> 01:29:34,530
(demons growling)
1795
01:29:36,096 --> 01:29:39,151
You think that hurts after this?
1796
01:29:39,151 --> 01:29:42,093
- [Satan] Richard Spencer!
1797
01:29:42,093 --> 01:29:45,260
(slow dramatic music)
1798
01:29:52,380 --> 01:29:54,797
- Who the fuck wants to know?
1799
01:29:55,762 --> 01:30:00,084
- Your life has been
weighed and found wanting.
1800
01:30:00,084 --> 01:30:05,084
You are hereby condemned to
an eternity in Hell. (laughs)
1801
01:30:07,816 --> 01:30:10,362
(flames crackling)
1802
01:30:10,362 --> 01:30:11,970
(Richard claps)
1803
01:30:11,970 --> 01:30:15,060
- That's very good, and you
did that all by yourself.
1804
01:30:15,060 --> 01:30:16,590
Did you see that, everybody?
1805
01:30:16,590 --> 01:30:19,590
He did it all by himself, and
tomorrow we're gonna teach
1806
01:30:19,590 --> 01:30:22,168
you how to shit fire out of your asshole.
1807
01:30:22,168 --> 01:30:24,751
(Satan growls)
1808
01:30:27,962 --> 01:30:31,380
(Richard scoffs)
1809
01:30:31,380 --> 01:30:36,150
I got two words for you,
Lucy-fer, breath mints.
1810
01:30:36,150 --> 01:30:40,280
Talk about your halitosis, oh, whoa.
1811
01:30:40,280 --> 01:30:42,985
(Satan growls)
1812
01:30:42,985 --> 01:30:45,930
Get the fuck down, you jerk off.
1813
01:30:45,930 --> 01:30:48,390
You think that scares me, huh?
1814
01:30:48,390 --> 01:30:50,280
Trick or treat, trick or treat,
1815
01:30:50,280 --> 01:30:53,550
smell my feet, you dumb
fucking, scum sucking,
1816
01:30:53,550 --> 01:30:56,741
pathetic excuse for a motherfucking devil.
1817
01:30:56,741 --> 01:30:59,940
(wolf growls)
1818
01:30:59,940 --> 01:31:03,660
Look at that head, I never
seen a head that big.
1819
01:31:03,660 --> 01:31:05,910
That's the biggest
fucking head I ever seen.
1820
01:31:05,910 --> 01:31:09,750
I tell you straight out,
that's a big fucking head.
1821
01:31:09,750 --> 01:31:11,400
And look at your fucking kid's head.
1822
01:31:11,400 --> 01:31:13,543
His head's bigger than your fucking head.
1823
01:31:13,543 --> 01:31:15,060
(wolf whines)
1824
01:31:15,060 --> 01:31:16,632
You know what I think of you?
1825
01:31:16,632 --> 01:31:17,784
- Hmm?
1826
01:31:17,784 --> 01:31:20,681
- You're a jack off, that's what I think.
1827
01:31:20,681 --> 01:31:21,514
(Satan laughs)
1828
01:31:21,514 --> 01:31:23,937
You fucking jerk off, jerk off.
1829
01:31:25,141 --> 01:31:26,534
(Satan laughs)
1830
01:31:26,534 --> 01:31:27,367
Jerk off.
1831
01:31:28,954 --> 01:31:31,383
- Jerk this.
1832
01:31:31,383 --> 01:31:33,966
(Satan laughs)
1833
01:31:35,535 --> 01:31:36,368
Next?
1834
01:31:36,368 --> 01:31:37,687
(siren wails)
1835
01:31:37,687 --> 01:31:40,320
- And I saw the whole damn thing.
1836
01:31:40,320 --> 01:31:42,840
That crazy psycho motherfucker
was asking for it,
1837
01:31:42,840 --> 01:31:44,804
egging them on the whole time.
1838
01:31:44,804 --> 01:31:48,018
If you ask me, he's
better off dead. (screams)
1839
01:31:48,018 --> 01:31:49,234
- [Paramedic] Oh, shit, he's alive.
1840
01:31:49,234 --> 01:31:51,780
- Hey, Kevorkian, watch the
bumps, I got needles in my arms.
1841
01:31:51,780 --> 01:31:52,613
- [Paramedic] Get him inside, quick.
1842
01:31:52,613 --> 01:31:55,020
- Look, oh, well, it's about
time, you need a tampon,
1843
01:31:55,020 --> 01:31:56,709
here's your tampons.
- [Paramedic] Hey, hey, hey,
1844
01:31:56,709 --> 01:31:57,635
we need some help out here.
1845
01:31:57,635 --> 01:31:58,468
- [Richard] You'd better get me a nurse
1846
01:31:58,468 --> 01:31:59,753
with some big motherfucking titties.
1847
01:32:00,720 --> 01:32:01,950
What, did you assholes get fired
1848
01:32:01,950 --> 01:32:03,690
from the fucking Post Office?
1849
01:32:03,690 --> 01:32:06,570
- Ultra maxi large super absorbent?
1850
01:32:06,570 --> 01:32:08,550
This isn't what I asked for.
1851
01:32:08,550 --> 01:32:09,570
What does he think I am,
1852
01:32:09,570 --> 01:32:12,063
some kind of goddamn hemorrhaging horse?
1853
01:32:13,800 --> 01:32:15,450
It figures you can't do anything right,
1854
01:32:15,450 --> 01:32:18,900
you dick for brains sociopathic
motherfucking asshole!
1855
01:32:18,900 --> 01:32:19,939
As soon as you're out of here,
1856
01:32:19,939 --> 01:32:21,889
I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
1857
01:32:23,170 --> 01:32:28,170
You hear me, hell. (laughs)
(ominous orchestral music)
1858
01:32:32,195 --> 01:32:34,852
(Satan laughs)
1859
01:32:34,852 --> 01:32:39,269
(ominous orchestral music continues)
1860
01:32:46,300 --> 01:32:49,133
(slow rock music)
1861
01:32:50,571 --> 01:32:53,906
(person laughs)
1862
01:32:53,906 --> 01:32:57,573
(slow rock music continues)
1863
01:33:01,691 --> 01:33:05,371
(group chattering)
1864
01:33:05,371 --> 01:33:09,028
♪ Please allow me to introduce myself ♪
1865
01:33:09,028 --> 01:33:13,838
♪ I'm a man of wealth and taste ♪
1866
01:33:13,838 --> 01:33:17,425
♪ I've been around for
a long, long years ♪
1867
01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:22,389
♪ Stole million man's soul and faith ♪
1868
01:33:22,389 --> 01:33:25,632
♪ And I was 'round when Jesus Christ ♪
1869
01:33:25,632 --> 01:33:30,632
♪ Had his moment of doubt and pain ♪
1870
01:33:30,731 --> 01:33:33,949
♪ Made damn sure that Pilate ♪
1871
01:33:33,949 --> 01:33:38,949
♪ Washed his hands and sealed his fate ♪
1872
01:33:41,312 --> 01:33:43,435
♪ Pleased to meet you ♪
1873
01:33:43,435 --> 01:33:48,407
♪ Hope you guess my name ♪
1874
01:33:48,407 --> 01:33:50,715
♪ But what's puzzling you ♪
1875
01:33:50,715 --> 01:33:55,166
♪ Is the nature of my game ♪
1876
01:33:55,166 --> 01:33:59,630
♪ Just as every cop is a criminal ♪
1877
01:33:59,630 --> 01:34:03,849
♪ And all the sinners saints ♪
1878
01:34:03,849 --> 01:34:05,550
♪ As heads is tails ♪
1879
01:34:05,550 --> 01:34:07,907
♪ Just call me Lucifer ♪
1880
01:34:07,907 --> 01:34:11,966
♪ 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint ♪
1881
01:34:11,966 --> 01:34:13,827
♪ So if you meet me ♪
1882
01:34:13,827 --> 01:34:16,223
♪ Have some courtesy ♪
1883
01:34:16,223 --> 01:34:20,750
♪ Have some sympathy, and some taste ♪
1884
01:34:20,750 --> 01:34:24,588
♪ Use all your well-learned politesse ♪
1885
01:34:24,588 --> 01:34:29,588
♪ Or I'll lay your soul
to waste, mm, yeah ♪
1886
01:34:31,907 --> 01:34:33,950
♪ Pleased to meet you ♪
1887
01:34:33,950 --> 01:34:38,950
♪ Hope you guessed my name, yeah ♪
1888
01:34:39,086 --> 01:34:41,578
♪ But what's puzzling you ♪
1889
01:34:41,578 --> 01:34:46,578
♪ Is the nature of my
game, mean it, get down ♪
1890
01:34:48,846 --> 01:34:50,846
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1891
01:34:50,846 --> 01:34:52,867
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1892
01:34:52,867 --> 01:34:54,867
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1893
01:34:54,867 --> 01:34:56,960
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1894
01:34:56,960 --> 01:34:58,446
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1895
01:34:58,446 --> 01:35:00,560
♪ Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪
1896
01:35:00,560 --> 01:35:02,561
♪ Get on down, ooh, ooh ♪
1897
01:35:02,561 --> 01:35:05,587
♪ Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪
1898
01:35:05,587 --> 01:35:07,944
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1899
01:35:07,944 --> 01:35:10,777
(slow rock music)
1900
01:35:36,126 --> 01:35:38,963
♪ Money ♪
1901
01:35:38,963 --> 01:35:42,425
♪ Get away ♪
1902
01:35:42,425 --> 01:35:47,425
♪ You get a good job with
more pay and you're okay ♪
1903
01:35:49,861 --> 01:35:52,822
♪ Money ♪
1904
01:35:52,822 --> 01:35:56,124
♪ It's a gas ♪
1905
01:35:56,124 --> 01:36:01,124
♪ Grab that cash with both
hands and make a stash ♪
1906
01:36:03,683 --> 01:36:07,225
♪ New car, caviar, four star daydream ♪
1907
01:36:07,225 --> 01:36:12,225
♪ Think I'll buy me a football team ♪
1908
01:36:17,203 --> 01:36:20,065
♪ Money ♪
1909
01:36:20,065 --> 01:36:23,363
♪ Get back ♪
1910
01:36:23,363 --> 01:36:28,363
♪ I'm all right, jack, keep
your hands off of my stack ♪
1911
01:36:30,582 --> 01:36:33,385
♪ Money ♪
1912
01:36:33,385 --> 01:36:36,707
♪ It's a hit ♪
1913
01:36:36,707 --> 01:36:41,707
♪ Don't give me that do
goody good bullshit ♪
1914
01:36:42,846 --> 01:36:47,846
♪ I'm in the high-fidelity
first-class traveling set ♪
1915
01:36:48,240 --> 01:36:52,240
♪ And I think I need a Lear jet ♪
1916
01:36:53,321 --> 01:36:56,988
(slow rock music continues)
1917
01:38:10,787 --> 01:38:14,454
(slow rock music continues)141540
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