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(narrator)
ln college football, the NCAA
recognizes three divisions.
4
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:52,134
The highest being
Division I,
5
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,721
offering full ride
scholarship to
top athletes
6
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,223
with the promise
of a pro career.
7
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,393
Division ll offers
some scholarships.
8
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,146
Pro careers
are Iess common.
9
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,939
And then
10
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,983
there's Division III.
11
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,779
They play
football as well.
12
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,805
WeIcome to ChanneI 57
Sports Talk.
13
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,765
I'm Chet Ryback.
14
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,935
The head coach of
the Division I I I
PuIIham BIuecocks
15
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:46,105
dies of a heart attack
due to coId water shock
16
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:50,275
whiIe the team ceIebrated
the second and final
victory of the season.
17
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,195
Let's see what's
in the mix with
Denny Dawson.
18
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:57,866
I'm Denny "D-Dog" Dawson
here at PuIIham University
during this trying time.
19
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,620
The autopsy has said that he
couId've had a heart attack
before the water hit him.
20
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:04,665
So actuaIIy the ice water
couId've heIped numb
the pain.
21
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,792
Your thoughts
on your footbaII
coach's death.
22
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,335
We have a
footbaII team?
23
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,295
Tragedy, what happened
to your coach.
24
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,214
Yeah, I know.
25
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,843
AImost as tragic as
how much I pay you
to do nothing.
26
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,512
If they don't produce
a winning record
next season,
27
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,265
it wiII be the end
of the footbaII peopIe.
28
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:26,311
Due to the circumstances and
my knowledge and experience
as an AII American,
29
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:31,233
I am Iooking forward
to resuming coaching
responsibiIities next year.
30
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,153
Didn't you hear?
President WhistIer
already hired someone.
31
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,238
What?
32
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:39,867
Yes, the formerIy unhirabIe
coach Rick Vice has
been tap--
33
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,327
Wait a minute.
Is it...Rick--
34
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:46,540
Is it Rick Vice the guy who
raped aII those Pee Wee
footbaII pIayers?
35
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,250
[Iaughs]
36
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,044
Oh. Oh, attempted murder?
37
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,005
[chuckIes]
38
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:56,800
PIease, send an
apoIogy Ietter to
the Vice famiIy ASAP.
39
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,094
Boy, is my face red.
Either way,
40
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,014
he's been tapped
to resurrect
the BIuecocks,
41
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:05,017
and boy.
I wish him weII.
42
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:07,186
Are you about ready
to wrap up this
wet dream
43
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,022
of becoming
a Division I I I
quarterback?
44
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,648
Do I Iook
Iike a quitter?
45
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,444
Look Iike a gerbiI.
46
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,280
♫ There once
Was a time ♫
47
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:23,869
♫ When everyone said
Something good about you ♫
48
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:31,376
♫ Now the time has gone ♫
49
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,715
♫ There once
Was a time ♫
50
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:42,471
♫ When everyone
Wanted to be with you ♫
51
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:57,778
♫ Now the time has gone ♫
52
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,571
Take a knee.
53
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,090
[music continues]
54
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,684
[gasps]
55
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,936
Hey, IittIe mama,
what you doing?
56
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:34,106
I'm coaching over
at the coIIege.
I'm the head coach.
57
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,983
♫ There once
Was a time ♫
58
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:41,196
♫ When everyone
Wanted to be with you ♫
59
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:55,877
♫ Now the time has gone ♫
60
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,613
You got it.
61
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,409
Hey, where the heII's Mitch?
62
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,536
Mitch had
a Iong night.
63
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,622
[snoring]
64
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,763
Dude.
65
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,183
You got practice
in Iike five minutes.
66
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:54,686
Are you stiII drunk?
Dude, you gotta be
down there.
67
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,397
Come on.
68
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,732
Ah.
69
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,568
Man, you are
a sad sight.
70
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,030
I'm practicing.
71
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,494
I'm a backup, dude.
I sit on the bench.
72
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:11,787
Here.
73
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,247
CompIiments
of my dad.
74
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,209
You better get down there.
The new coach is gonna
flip his shit.
75
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,796
No, based on what I heard
on this guy, flipping his
shit is gonna be his opener.
76
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,547
[bIowing whistIe]
77
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,592
AII right,
you IaIIygagging
motherfuckers.
78
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:29,971
If you're five
minutes earIy, then you're
fifteen minutes Iate.
79
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,892
Twenty Iaps around
the track. You got
37 minutes.
80
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,103
[bIows whistIe]
81
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,273
Fuck off!
82
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,483
He's got a gun!
83
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,776
Run!
84
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:43,985
He's got a gun!
85
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,572
[shoots]
86
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:52,077
Coach?
Check the ass.
87
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,788
Open your Iegs wide.
Not you, you've had
enough of that.
88
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,456
Open your legs wide.
89
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,125
Oh-Ia-Ia.
90
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,627
Martin Luther King.
I'II teII you what.
91
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,921
Everyday's
bIack history month.
92
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,924
Come on, AIan,
fIex your feet more.
Stretch, stretch.
93
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,427
Push Iike you're
coming out of me.
94
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,137
Where the heII
you been?
95
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:13,432
Uh...Lucky Horse?
96
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,600
You know that's
the training
bar, right?
97
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,644
Got a problem
with free drinks?
98
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,604
You'II need
to checkout
the new trainer.
99
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,950
[aII shouting]
100
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,369
Idiot.
101
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,665
Pick up the pace.
What is this, some
kind of AlDS walkathon?
102
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,002
[grunts]
103
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,337
WeIcome to it.
104
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,466
I'm your new
head coach,
Rick Vice.
105
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,385
And this quarter
ton of fun next
to me
106
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,804
107
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:57,142
He aIso happens
to be your nutritionist,
which I know is ironicaI.
108
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,895
(Rick)
Now, I've been toId
by the lady upstairs
109
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,023
that if you queers
don't have a winning
season this year,
110
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,734
they're gonna yank
the plug on your little
football program
111
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,196
the way you've been yanking
your plugs for the last two,
three years.
112
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,655
Why are they gonna
yank the pIug?
113
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,574
Shut the fuck up!
114
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,493
You know
where we are?
115
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:18,205
We're in a smaII, private
IiberaI arts coIIege.
116
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,582
Huh? They'd rather
spend their money
117
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:24,336
on faggoty arts
and crafts
and such.
118
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,587
Pottery.
119
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,631
NonetheIess.
120
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,841
For the next couple
and a half months
or three,
121
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,260
your asses
is grasses.
122
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,763
[squeaking]
123
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,433
And you're
the Iawn mower.
124
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,809
No, you're
the Iawn mower.
125
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,686
No, you're
the Iawn--what?
126
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,189
You're the Iawn mower
'cause you're gonna
cut them.
127
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,899
Doesn't matter.
Fuck it.
128
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:50,278
l want you to think
about two words.
129
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,281
Championship.
130
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:57,244
You're gonna fuck
every team out there.
131
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,042
Hey! Name
and position, son.
132
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,878
Uh, Mitch DePrima,
quarterback.
133
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,298
WeII, I'm gonna be
the judge of that.
DePrima.
134
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:15,095
It's more Iike premie, huh?
Like your mother crapped out
a IittIe premie baby.
135
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:18,056
Let him crawI out.
You vomit on my fieId?
136
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:22,269
My freshIy painted
pIastic fieId?
137
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,479
Fuck you!
Back to me.
138
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:28,149
I'm from the South.
Went from foster famiIy
to orphanage.
139
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,236
l was abused sexually
and otherwise.
140
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,115
I am a product
of pain and suffering.
141
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:39,578
And l'm very happy
to pass the savings
on to you.
142
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,581
And you'II be
better men for it
'cause Iook at me now.
143
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,958
I ain't afraid
of nothing.
144
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,334
Coach.
145
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,169
[shouts]
Goddammit.
146
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,423
Don't sneak up
on me Iike that.
You spooked me.
147
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,675
Spooked?
148
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,845
No. You--you're
spooking me. I wouIdn't
caII you a spook to your face.
149
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,346
[stutters]
150
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,515
Twenty Iaps.
Make it thirty.
151
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,892
That's a dirty 30.
152
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,520
Look, I don't wanna
tell you how to run your
business here
153
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,356
and I don't wanna step
on any toes, but I wouId
be remiss in my duties
154
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,692
if I did not inform you
that President WhistIer
155
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,528
156
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,656
Oh, no,
I'm--I'm not good
at pubIic speaking.
157
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,783
ChanneI 57, that's
the IocaI cabIe channeI
158
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,494
that's piped into the
hospitaIs and stuff.
We got this.
159
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,163
Yeah, we got this.
160
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,290
I mean, it's
Iimited press,
161
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,209
but apparentIy we need
aII the exposure that
we can get,
162
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,837
which is the onIy reason
that you are here.
163
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,965
Now, if you couId just
remember that we are
a IiberaI arts coIIege
164
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,343
and Iimit your usage
of the "F" word.
165
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,386
Son, footbaII
is an "F" word.
166
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,348
No, I understand
you--you want me
to censorship myseIf.
167
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,309
AII right,
you IittIe maggots.
168
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,812
If you don't pick up
the fucking [beep] pace,
169
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,065
I'm gonna rip off
your IittIe peckers
170
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:54,152
and shove them up
your mother's hot pockets,
you IittIe fuck fucks.
171
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,072
[screaching]
Fuck!
172
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,157
AII right, Iook,
I'm just trying
to heIp.
173
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:02,410
The Ianguage, whatever.
But a starter gun, reaIIy.
174
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,497
Oh, this?
This is--this is just
rubber buIIets, right?
175
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,415
For crowd controI.
176
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,084
[shoots]
177
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,586
They're hard
rubber buIIets
but Iisten,
178
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,880
these boys ain't
made out of crows.
179
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:17,509
Look, I appreciate
you being the--
what is it?
180
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,594
AthIetic director.
181
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,098
Yeah, but if I'm gonna need
your athIetic direction,
182
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,934
I won't, 'cause
you see this?
183
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,937
It says head coach.
184
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,023
No, it just
says coach.
185
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,943
If we have to speciaI order
anything, it costs us
more money.
186
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,862
For exampIe, Bob's
quadrupIe X shirt.
187
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:41,032
I'm not doing this
for my heaIth. Run!
188
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,034
We are on a
shoe string
budget here.
189
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,370
Yeah, I know
about your shoe
string budget.
190
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:48,957
I couId wipe my ass this
morning with a napkin I
puIIed out of a diner.
191
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:52,085
It wasn't exactIy
infused with aIoe.
192
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,045
My ass is.
193
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:58,591
This ass is pink.
I don't know what
coIor your ass is.
194
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,512
[door closes]
195
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,516
Hey.
196
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,811
I don't pay you
1 0 bucks an hour to
drink 20 bucks an hour.
197
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,063
Sorry, it was just
a rough first day.
198
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,815
The new coach
is a nightmare.
199
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,775
Pretty much
hates me aIready.
200
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,653
Shocker. You're
not that IikabIe.
201
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,239
That's horribIe.
You Iike me, right?
202
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,576
You're a decent kid,
but Iike most coIIege
kids, you're Iazy,
203
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,828
you're spoiIed,
aIcohoIics.
204
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,122
Come on, have I ever
not shown up to work?
205
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,666
Anybody can show up,
but look at this display.
206
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,169
How many times
have I asked you
to organize this?
207
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,921
You gotta start
taking pride in
what you do.
208
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,925
Otherwise you're gonna wake up
in 20 years and reaIize you got
nothing to show for yourseIf.
209
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,428
Is that what
happened to you?
210
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,305
[Iaughs]
211
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:49,100
Bitch, I own a business.
I make six figures
a year.
212
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,936
You have to work
your ass off to end
up Iike me.
213
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:55,106
I got a 401 k account.
I got an I RA account.
214
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,150
l put money into
the Forex Autopilot.
215
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,277
Do you even know
what support save is?
216
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,113
I don't either, but
these are cash machines.
217
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,324
I got a time share
in Turks & Caicos.
218
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,202
Out back l got a garage,
is it a garage? No.
219
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:10,288
One-bedroom apartment
with a jerry-rigged bathroom.
I rent it out.
220
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:14,042
At home, do I've kids?
Do l have an ex-wife
sucking money out of me?
221
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,877
Zero. I got
a goIdfish
222
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,796
and I got a hamster
named Mr. Bunny.
223
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,589
Okay, I'm sorry.
224
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,716
Look, if you don't wanna
play, don't play.
225
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,635
You don't wanna
work here, quit.
226
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,637
But don't
haIf-ass it.
227
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:29,224
Life's not gonna just
fIy in and hand you
a goIden ticket.
228
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:33,520
This worId
is run by greedy,
seIf-serving morons.
229
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,814
HeIIo and good evening.
230
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,149
Thank aII of you
for coming out tonight.
231
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,235
My name is
Georgia Anne WhistIer.
232
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:43,404
[whistIes]
And I am the
proud president
233
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,324
here at
PuIIham University.
234
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:50,370
Many great minds
passed through
these here waIIs.
235
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,832
JuIia StiIes,
as a for instance.
236
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:57,752
She managed to come here
for sometimes a semester
or given.
237
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,839
This is aIso
the proud home
238
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,507
of the BIuecocks!
239
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,425
(guy)
Losers.
240
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:08,847
WeII, that's a point
weII taken and we'II
fiIe that
241
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,516
under, what? Okay.
242
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,353
WeII, if anything,
this is the point
where we aII sit there
243
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:20,859
and get reaIIy excited
about introducing our
new coach, Rick Vice.
244
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:24,195
[rock music]
245
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,240
[squeaking]
246
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:32,912
Okay. We'II go ahead
and fieId some questions.
247
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,123
Denny Dawson.
248
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,417
Coach Vice,
Denny "D-Dog" Dawson,
249
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,545
co-anchor investigator
Channel 57 news.
250
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,715
You know, I'm Iooking
at your history here.
You got attempted murder--
251
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:47,260
Thank you very much
for bringing up my
very coIorfuI past.
252
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,597
You're a journaIist?
I thought you were
a weatherman.
253
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,474
Fifteen years ago
I did a stint as
a weatherman, yes.
254
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,602
(Whistler)
That was good
weather that year.
255
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,812
You wore a suit with IittIe
Iightning boIts on it.
256
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,148
How do you have
the authority to
ask me anything?
257
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,401
The fact of the matter is,
you've never had a winning
season, have you?
258
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,905
You have
a sketchy past.
You are a vioIent man.
259
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,073
No, I am not!
260
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,576
Oh, I got it.
261
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,829
Yes, I have done some
funny things in my past,
but l've done my time.
262
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,915
You see,
I'm-I'm a good man,
263
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,335
and I pIan
on taking this
team to the top.
264
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,171
We're gonna keep
this program alive,
265
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:27,675
and we are
going to ge--
266
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,095
get some.
267
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,097
Get some?
268
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,352
Go every time
269
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,812
so others,
270
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,442
mm, so go every time
so others may
271
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,321
every time.
272
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:49,572
Get some!
273
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,449
(man)
Fuck you!
274
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,039
I'm sorry,
who said that?
275
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,124
I did.
276
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,295
Everyone shut
your asshoIes.
I got this one.
277
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,547
I got this one.
Sit down.
278
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,007
You think you
can take me?
279
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,635
No. I know I can.
280
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,595
[chuckIes]
281
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,556
Then why don't you step
up into the gauntIet,
bitchnuts?
282
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,518
I couId use something
to wipe my ass.
283
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,605
(guy whispers)
Don't do it.
284
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,900
You know, this man here
and I , we have somethin'
in common.
285
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,360
Oh, yeah?
What was that?
286
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,570
We were both inside
your mother.
287
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,239
[grunts]
288
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,908
Oh, did you see that?
He threw the first--
289
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,413
[piano sounds]
290
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,999
Done yet Liberace?
291
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,211
[groans]
292
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,422
Don't get up, Bobby.
l got this one.
293
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,340
Better give up,
oId man.
294
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,010
Oh, that's funny.
You know who eIse
said that to me?
295
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,386
Yeah, who?
296
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,513
Your mother!
297
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,223
[rock music]
298
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,280
Like a dangerous
rubber band, isn't he?
299
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:16,200
(Rick)
Were you not
entertained?
300
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,875
This is exactIy the kind
of thing that is gonna
get us some pubIicity.
301
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,419
We got the crazy
coach, right?
302
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,546
Then of course
there's the young
303
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:33,426
suItry femaIe president
of the university. It
gives me chiIIs.
304
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,137
How was this guy
staging a fight at
a press conference
305
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,056
gonna benefit
the footbaII program?
306
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,266
You raise eyebrows,
you raise admissions.
307
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:43,811
I'm thinking of getting
a tattoo right there on
the smaII of my back.
308
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,774
Do you know that this
guy attempted to murder an
entire Pee Wee football team?
309
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,443
He has no
business coaching.
310
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,236
[blowing whistle]
311
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,493
You hold out of here.
Keep your hand down.
312
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:02,246
On top of your head
is the hardest part
of your body!
313
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,956
Thanks, coach.
314
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,666
Dude, that's gonna
break your neck.
315
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,502
No, l'm gonna
break your neck.
316
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,253
Dammit, my Ieg!
317
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,093
Come on now,
no sex on the
fieId, girIs.
318
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,595
Ten.
319
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:20,098
Yeah, nice, nice, nice,
nice, nice passes.
320
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:24,185
You can't just be
a penis with an arm.
You gotta move fast.
321
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,438
We're gonna be running
the options, so you gotta
be quick on your feet.
322
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,608
Look at me. I got a
gimpy Ieg and I'm
moving faster than you.
323
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,986
Like a hive of Mexicans
swarming around a work truck
in front of a Home Depot.
324
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,030
You want drywaII?
You want me
to paint?
325
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,406
Hut.
326
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,955
Fuck! You bent
my shades. Bitch!
327
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:48,501
Let me tell you somethin'. l
don't play favorites. l don't
care what color you are,
328
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,336
what country
your parents
swam out of.
329
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,798
I don't care
what AIi Baba
you go down on.
330
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,509
l don't care if
you like slits
or dicks!
331
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,387
Because the best
pIayer, pIays.
Period.
332
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,849
No, strike that.
ExcIamation point.
333
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,475
Run it again.
334
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,855
Guys, our
tabIe's ready.
Come when you're ready.
335
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,149
Excuse me,
excuse me.
Coming through.
336
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,984
Thank you,
thank you.
337
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,321
Hey.
338
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,698
What's going on?
339
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,159
I think
I sprained
my ankIe.
340
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:26,873
Man, I never thought
a team wouId be this beat
up before the season starts.
341
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,542
You find anything
down there you Iet
me know, okay?
342
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,043
I didn't see anything.
343
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,045
Right, thanks.
344
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,423
I'm, uh,
I'm Mitch.
345
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,843
Jennifer.
346
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,179
That hurts.
347
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,847
You're a transfer or?
348
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,891
No, I'm not a student.
I just work here.
349
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,934
I'm hoping to get
into the Med program--
350
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,897
College football, baby.
Shock the nation.
351
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,107
Shock the nation?
Nobody knows
who we are.
352
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,859
What's his story?
353
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,111
Joe Jansen?
Captain six,
seven years.
354
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,197
Gets hit in the head
a Iot. Great guy.
355
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,076
Hey. You got
any Vicodin?
356
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,286
No, I don't
have Vicodin.
357
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,704
Percocet.
358
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,039
Percodan?
359
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,874
Xanax?
Oxycotin?
360
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,710
No. You know what?
I have some MidoI
on my purse.
361
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,837
Give it to me.
362
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,673
That's pussy piIIs.
My sister takes that
when she's on the rag.
363
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,634
Dude, my head's
on the rag.
Give me six.
364
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:20,801
Here are two.
365
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,053
Give me one.
366
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,601
That's cute.
You guys are
on the same cycIe?
367
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:30,519
Ow.
368
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,272
Whoa, whoa.
Take it easy
on bitch.
369
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:36,609
I mean Mitch.
You're gonna need that
arm for the scout team.
370
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,653
Oh!
371
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,781
I'm gIad you're
here, brother.
372
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:45,076
I don't want to spend
my Iast season dependent
on cry heart over here.
373
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,079
Just out of curiosity,
how many Iast seasons
have you had?
374
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,249
LegaIIy I can
pIay eight.
375
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,000
I don't beIieve
we've met.
376
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,420
I'm TyIer Keys.
Starting quarterback.
377
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,838
You need something?
378
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,258
Your number?
379
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,593
But you can give
that to me Iater.
380
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:07,807
l'll see you
out on the field
or off the field.
381
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:09,141
'Cause you
don't pIay.
382
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,519
Oh, I got that.
383
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,562
Shock the nation.
384
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,526
Nation?
385
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,528
Nation.
386
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,614
That is the reason
I wiII never date
a footbaII pIayer.
387
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,032
Good for me.
I don't pIay.
388
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,034
Right. Sorry.
389
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,954
Don't be. Division I I I ,
it's Iike one step up
from Nerf.
390
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,873
So, honestIy,
if you don't care,
why do you do it?
391
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,960
Why put yourseIf
through this? You some kind
of masochist or something?
392
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,671
Like how?
393
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:41,048
Oh, you're in big
troubIe now.
394
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,301
[Iaughing]
395
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,803
[blowing whistle]
396
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,138
Here it comes.
397
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:50,016
Got one.
We're kebab now.
398
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,976
WeIcome to the faII.
399
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,145
You IittIe maggots.
Come on.
400
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,314
Run, you IittIe
corn bat. Run.
401
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:57,648
I got you.
402
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,817
Get some.
Get some.
403
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,235
[Iaughing]
404
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,904
Who's next?
405
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,825
I'm fixing to make me
a faggot shish kebab.
406
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,996
You IittIe quarterback.
407
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,998
After the mohawk kid.
408
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,503
I didn't say stop.
409
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:33,934
Coach. You are breaking
NCAA regulations.
410
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,229
These boys shouId've been
hydrated and off this
fieId hours ago.
411
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:39,357
You got a probIem,
write me a Ietter.
412
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:42,276
So I have something
to wipe my ass with.
413
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,363
Coach Vice don't care
much about hydration.
I'II teII you why.
414
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,573
When he was a boy
back at the orphanage,
415
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:51,410
the nuns accidentally
seaIed him inside
a wall cavity,
416
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:53,621
crawI space
type situation,
417
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:57,208
during renovation.
To survive, he drank
his own piss
418
00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,086
for a week-and-a-haIf.
He's trying to get me
to work that
419
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,129
into the whoIe
nutritional program,
420
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,382
which I have
mixed feeIings about.
421
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,259
You and I both know
that l can't report
this to the board
422
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,720
'cause they will just
shut this program down.
423
00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:13,307
But if I cannot rein that
psychopath in, these
boys wiII impIode.
424
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,560
And for the record,
my boys wiII not be
drinking their own piss.
425
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,896
I don't care
what you two do.
426
00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:24,819
I did say I had
mixed feeIings
about it.
427
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:31,409
How is Roy Goodwyn
not coaching?
428
00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:32,993
You know he was
AII American?
429
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:35,121
I don't know
but my body's pissed.
430
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:36,831
What the heII
is he doing here?
431
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,877
Keep your head
on a swiveI, boy.
Got ya!
432
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:49,760
Hey. Why don't you
hang back, preemie?
I want to taIk at you.
433
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,930
Okay.
434
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:55,933
What's wrong
with them?
435
00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:58,936
Does my tan Iine
make them uncomfortabIe?
436
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:01,147
It's what's
between the Iines.
437
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:04,358
You ever hear the Iate
great coach Boo VenaIs?
438
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,693
No.
439
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,862
He'd shower with us.
440
00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:10,614
He used to say,
"It's my soap,
it's my meat.
441
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:14,201
I wash it as
fast as I want."
442
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,705
Get it? It's a
masturbation joke.
443
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,957
It's funny.
444
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,626
Poor VenaIs.
I'm going with TyIer.
445
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,712
Starting quarterback.
446
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,213
Yeah, I figured.
447
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,048
You okay with that?
448
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,384
Do you care?
449
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,804
No. But I'II teII you what.
You're number two, so you'd
better be ready.
450
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:37,141
'Cause I'm gonna be
watching you reaI
cIose Iike.
451
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,352
You're gonna be
Iike a hobo on
a freight train.
452
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,688
I'm gonna ride you
day and night.
453
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,111
WouIdn't that
make you the hobo?
454
00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:53,157
What do you mean?
455
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,909
Hobos ride trains.
456
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:57,119
Yeah, okay,
but no, no.
457
00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:59,997
I'm the freight train
and you're the hobo.
That's how I see it.
458
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,540
I couId be the tracks.
459
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:04,001
Why don't you Ieave
the imagery to me?
460
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:06,420
Whipping out your
EmiIy Dickinson here.
461
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:09,423
We're done.
462
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:13,427
Good practice out
there, boys. Way
to go beyond the pain.
463
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,856
[snorting]
464
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,193
Ah, shit.
465
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:34,031
Hang on.
466
00:25:34,115 --> 00:25:36,283
[snorting]
467
00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:37,952
Chihuahua.
468
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:39,203
How can I heIp you?
469
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,038
You're fired.
470
00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:44,083
This is 1 00% pure
whey protein.
You understand?
471
00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:47,378
HighIy absorbabIe
through the nasaI
cavities.
472
00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:52,049
I burned out
the Iining in
my Iarge intestines.
473
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,968
So, this is protein?
474
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:57,388
That's right, sir.
20 grams, 3 1 /2
times a day.
475
00:25:57,430 --> 00:26:02,935
What can l do you for,
Mr. Man Who Comes ln
Without Knocking?
476
00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:05,271
I'm not sure
if you're aware, but
477
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:09,567
over half of our team
is either on reserve
or they've quit.
478
00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:11,735
And we haven't even
pIayed one game, yet.
479
00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:14,071
It's caIIed trimming
the fat, Roy,
480
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:18,117
cIearing the riffraff.
Ironman styIe footbaII.
Ain't that right, Bobby?
481
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:20,077
Shit, yeah.
482
00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:21,829
Did you get me
extra napkins
there, boy?
483
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:23,247
Sure did.
484
00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:25,249
Good man.
Thank you.
485
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:28,419
Give me a high
five there. Ow!
486
00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:32,256
Look, BIuecocks
have been around
since 1 875.
487
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:34,216
Ooh, I Iove
the '70s.
488
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:37,428
Smoking grass,
beII bottoms,
daisy chain
489
00:26:37,512 --> 00:26:39,805
1 875.
490
00:26:39,889 --> 00:26:44,143
Look, we may not be
as high profile as
the Division I teams,
491
00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:46,604
but we pIay
the same game.
492
00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:49,148
Only these boys aren't
here on scholarships
493
00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:51,483
or trying to get
in the NFL or on TV.
494
00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:55,112
They're here for the love
of the game, so please
495
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:57,448
just remember that.
496
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,291
(Rick)
All right, ladies,
let's bring it in.
497
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:10,127
Meet me down
in the southeast corner.
498
00:27:10,211 --> 00:27:12,129
Come on.
499
00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:15,132
Righty.
500
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:20,554
Now, l probably don't need
to be telling you this,
but football
501
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:24,058
is like a good
old fashion pot
of American gumbo.
502
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:28,479
All kinds of spicy
ingredients mixed
together
503
00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:31,231
aII in the name
of fIavor.
504
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,525
You know what
I'm tasting, Bobby?
505
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:35,653
Okra?
506
00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:38,739
No. No,
I taste victory.
507
00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:41,825
And I Iook around
and l think we got
a spicy team.
508
00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:44,536
BIacks and whites.
509
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:46,413
BIacks and Mexicans.
510
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,249
Oh, heII, there's
a Iot of bIacks.
511
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,210
We even got
a 9/1 1 IsIam.
512
00:27:51,294 --> 00:27:53,337
Now, son, I ain't
holding it against you
513
00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:55,673
but what you did
to our country
was fucked up.
514
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,091
I'm French-Irish.
515
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,425
Zip it,
cameI fucker.
516
00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:01,011
Fuck you.
517
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,180
I don't usuaIIy
do this, but
518
00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:06,725
Bobby, can you-can you Iead us
in a non-denominationaI prayer?
519
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:11,188
Everybody bow
your head.
520
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:17,194
I ain't much for one
speeching on the Lord,
but...I wiII say this.
521
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:21,532
[shouts]
Jesus Ioves footbaII.
522
00:28:21,574 --> 00:28:27,037
He had a whole team himself.
The disciples played football
against them Roman soldiers.
523
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,082
And they did.
But I'II teII you
somethin' eIse.
524
00:28:30,166 --> 00:28:32,710
There's been a whoIe heII
of a lot of talk about
this here
525
00:28:32,752 --> 00:28:34,461
Darwinism,
526
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:37,798
"eviIution" I caII it.
527
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:41,051
I don't know
about you, but
my Jesus,
528
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:43,387
he didn't sIay
those PhiIistines
529
00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:46,765
with the jawbone
of a brontosaurus
rex.
530
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,767
And Moses,
531
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:51,645
when he crossed
that Dead Sea,
532
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,648
he didn't do it
on the wings of
a pterodactyI.
533
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:59,445
lt was the Holy Land.
It weren't Jurassic Park.
This is buIIshit.
534
00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:02,239
Bobby, okay.
Now, thank you.
535
00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:04,324
Amen, amen,
everybody. Amen.
536
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,910
Let's bring it in.
537
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,121
I'II drop some
wisdom on you.
538
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,914
Now, Iisten up.
539
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:13,167
There's a Iot of peopIe
out there in the stands.
540
00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:16,086
So, I'm gonna
need you aII to keep
your heads together.
541
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,172
We're gonna
remain caIm.
542
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:21,091
We're gonna
remain cooI.
543
00:29:21,176 --> 00:29:24,470
And we're gonna
remain coIIected.
544
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:28,807
Run, kick.
Hit somebody.
545
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,274
Are you
tackIing me?
546
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:39,359
I don't have
a footbaII in
my hand.
547
00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:41,987
Are you
tackling me?
548
00:29:42,071 --> 00:29:45,449
AsshoIe!
l'll tackle you!
549
00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:46,867
Strike it down.
550
00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:50,454
PuII your fan
and quit.
551
00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:52,456
I've not been down
to the fieId before.
552
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:54,291
I didn't reaIize
there was no dome.
553
00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,877
You had
any raisins?
554
00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:58,462
Raisins?
555
00:29:58,505 --> 00:30:00,339
How about a date?
556
00:30:00,423 --> 00:30:02,132
Oh, my God.
557
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:04,009
Hey, hey, hey,
excuse me, little lady.
558
00:30:04,093 --> 00:30:06,970
Quit staring at her
ta-tas and Iock it in.
559
00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:10,349
I'm not going back in
for eight seconds
of garbage time
560
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:11,975
after this shit show.
561
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,186
TeII Mitch
to take a knee.
562
00:30:14,270 --> 00:30:16,313
Mitch, strap it on.
563
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,816
Yeah, Mitch,
strap it on.
It's your big moment.
564
00:30:18,858 --> 00:30:21,401
You get the fuck
outta here permanentIy.
565
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:24,154
Your mom's permanentIy.
566
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:27,574
What?
567
00:30:38,294 --> 00:30:39,670
Fuck this.
568
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,674
Whoo-hoo.
Go Cocks!
569
00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:45,884
Can you put me
down, pIease?
570
00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:48,846
Here's what you're
gonna call. Explode
the open left.
571
00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:52,432
Lester 58.
Laser-breaker.
Veer-option right.
572
00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:54,184
Don't shit the bed.
573
00:31:03,778 --> 00:31:05,571
Hey, guys.
574
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:09,074
Uh, okay, give me
a trip right,
fIip C-razor.
575
00:31:09,158 --> 00:31:13,537
Uh, breaker.
22C options.
576
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:14,872
What's he saying?
577
00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:16,999
Give me a post.
578
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:19,543
What the fuck are
you doing out there,
a IittIe sewing circIe?
579
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,295
Ready?
580
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:23,046
[blowing whistle]
581
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:28,051
Seventy-seven.
582
00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,053
Give me some
room bitches.
Okay?
583
00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:31,722
Don't wanna hurt, baby.
584
00:31:31,764 --> 00:31:33,765
Ninety.
585
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:35,559
What the fuck
is he running?
586
00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:42,065
[people cheering]
587
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,323
[cheering]
588
00:31:50,366 --> 00:31:51,450
That's a point.
589
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,953
Piss the can, niggers.
590
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:57,247
You guys see
that pass?
591
00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,166
We just Iost,
dumbass.
592
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,293
You guys
saw it, right?
593
00:32:01,377 --> 00:32:02,586
Yes.
594
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,171
So?
595
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:06,340
Yeah, I guess
everybody saw
your pass.
596
00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:07,674
You saw my pass?
597
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,217
Sweet pass.
598
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,136
It was a nice pass.
It was right in--
599
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,471
You!
600
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,601
I caIIed
a run pIay.
601
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:22,314
ExpIode to the open Ieft.
Switch C-short. Lester--
602
00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:23,440
Chester.
603
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,651
No, I wrote--
604
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:29,529
[indistinct arguing]
605
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:33,951
It's not
three fIies up,
you dumb idiot.
606
00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:36,620
Now, do you
understand
the pIay
607
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:39,790
and you're just being
an insubordinate prick?
608
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:44,336
Or do you not understand
the pIay 'cause you're
a fucking retard?
609
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,130
Uh--
610
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,635
[mumbIes]
611
00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:54,513
You can't talk now?
You-you're mute?
612
00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:57,182
You're a IittIe,
IittIe mute girI.
613
00:32:57,266 --> 00:32:59,977
We got that oId IittIe
bIind, deaf, mute girI.
614
00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:02,396
OId YeIIer.
What's her name?
615
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,815
KeIIy YeIIer.
616
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:06,733
OId HeIen YeIIer.
617
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,819
[Iaughing]
618
00:33:08,903 --> 00:33:12,155
Don't you guys
mean HeIen KeIIer?
619
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,867
No! We mean
oId HeIen YeIIer.
620
00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:17,077
I'm pretty sure it's--
621
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,083
Dude, puII the
fucking trigger.
PuII it.
622
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:26,586
Pull the trigger, boy.
Pull the fucking trigger.
Give me one reason.
623
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:31,008
I want in, I want out.
I want out permanentIy.
Give it to me.
624
00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:34,177
Get some.
Do it. Get some.
625
00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:36,430
I knew you
didn't have
the nuts.
626
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:39,099
You think you are
the big swinging
dick around here?
627
00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:42,686
You got Iucky.
Lucky!
628
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,355
Go soak in.
Go, have your fun.
629
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,691
This is back
to the bench
for you, boy.
630
00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:52,612
Hey.
631
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:55,699
I didn't say
it was a bad pass.
632
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,872
Put the knife
away, Bobby.
633
00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:03,540
You did good, coach.
634
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,042
ReaI good.
635
00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:22,768
[blowing whistle]
636
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:28,815
What the heII is that?
637
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,735
(Rick on megaphone)
Wake up now,
motherfuckers.
638
00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:34,571
The past go
beyond the pain.
639
00:34:34,655 --> 00:34:37,324
Wake up now.
640
00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:40,327
The pain and
then go beyond.
641
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,163
Not worth it.
642
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:45,499
Dude, you are
such a IittIe bitch.
643
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:47,334
You have no idea
how Iucky you are.
644
00:34:47,418 --> 00:34:51,838
Dude, come
to one practice
and teII me that.
645
00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:56,093
This is Division I I I .
He's treating it Iike
D-1 Navy SeaIs.
646
00:34:56,135 --> 00:34:58,303
The guy
is a psycho.
647
00:34:58,387 --> 00:35:00,847
l think he might be
clinically insane,
like clinically.
648
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,642
Do you reaIIy have
a probIem with him
making you exercise?
649
00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:05,769
l'm five-foot nothing.
650
00:35:05,853 --> 00:35:08,647
My coach just
turned me into a fIier.
Do you know what that is?
651
00:35:08,731 --> 00:35:11,608
That's the little girl
that gets thrown around
like a rag doll.
652
00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:13,652
I'm trying to sIeep.
653
00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:16,279
The next time
you're in practice,
Iook over to the sideIine
654
00:35:16,322 --> 00:35:20,033
and you'II catch me fIying
around in the air with my
skirt up and my pussy hanging.
655
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:23,620
l don't get it.
l would trade my pom-poms
for your helmet any day.
656
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:25,455
Remember in high schooI?
657
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:27,374
You were
the starting
quarterback.
658
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,668
Captain of the team.
Loving the game.
659
00:35:29,752 --> 00:35:32,462
Loving the life.
Where is that guy?
660
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,005
I miss him.
He was fun.
661
00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:35,674
You know what
l remember?
662
00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:38,510
Practice,
lunch meetings,
663
00:35:38,594 --> 00:35:41,805
the taste of mud.
And as much as
I wanted it,
664
00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:45,225
never having that
Iast minute drive
to win the game.
665
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:48,395
That guy's gone, man.
He burned out.
666
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:57,195
You can't transfer
schooIs in the middIe
of the semester.
667
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,823
Spence had
them back-date
my registration.
668
00:35:59,907 --> 00:36:03,994
Quarterback tore his ACL,
so Iooks Iike my Iast season
is gonna suck Iess than yours.
669
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:05,954
Say bye to Vice for me.
670
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:10,083
Why don't you say
bye to Vice yourseIf?
671
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,503
Bye.
672
00:36:13,546 --> 00:36:15,046
Check this out.
673
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:16,756
Hey, l know you
from somewhere.
674
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:19,217
Gorden Spence,
head coach of
the Cougars.
675
00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:21,678
RivaIs.
676
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:23,847
RivaIry usuaIIy means
there's competition.
677
00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:27,017
Cougars have been eating
Cocks for breakfast since
the earIy '90s.
678
00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:29,227
And with this
cartoon coach,
679
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:31,938
you shouId consider it
a win if you score two
points against us.
680
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,440
Pipe down.
681
00:36:33,524 --> 00:36:35,192
Ain't you out
of your jurisdiction?
682
00:36:35,234 --> 00:36:37,235
I've done my homework
on this guy.
683
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,778
He's the worst
kind of coach.
684
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:41,031
A controI freak
with no cIue.
685
00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:42,949
Takes the first
team pocket passer
686
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:44,910
and runs
the option with him.
687
00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:47,204
He's gonna drive
this program into
the ground.
688
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:51,708
Listen out,
mister-mister
funny maroon shirt--
689
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,627
How many Iosses
have you got?
690
00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:57,130
'Cause I got one
coIIege Ioss on
my record.
691
00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:59,466
It's 'cause you never
coached a coIIege,
idiot.
692
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,134
Okay.
693
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:03,386
You IittIe
694
00:37:03,429 --> 00:37:07,599
shrunk nutted
maggoty fuck stick.
695
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:09,559
AII right,
don't make
a scene.
696
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:13,230
Oh. Haven't you
heard the news?
697
00:37:13,272 --> 00:37:17,067
Scene Maker is
my middIe name.
698
00:37:17,109 --> 00:37:18,318
I thought
it was NeIson.
699
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:20,570
Shut the fuck up.
700
00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:23,448
And you know what I think
we need up in this bitch
right about now?
701
00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:26,284
A good oId-fashioned
702
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,578
food fight!
703
00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:36,169
Food fight.
704
00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:39,172
food fight?
705
00:37:42,301 --> 00:37:46,263
Food fight.
What, y'aII never
fought food before?
706
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:53,019
Bobby, Iet's get
the fuck out of here.
707
00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:56,189
CongratuIations.
Looks Iike you'II be
throwing me the baII again.
708
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:57,857
[knocking on door]
709
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,567
(Mitch)
Coach?
710
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,195
Hang on.
711
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,323
Eighteen,
nineteen,
twenty.
712
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:07,617
Twenty-one. Jackpot!
713
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:08,785
What's going on?
714
00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:10,870
Were you sIeeping?
715
00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,664
No, I was working out.
716
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:14,833
You just got
something here.
717
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:18,128
Oh. Yeah, that's-that's
my cape. I wear a cape
when I work out.
718
00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:22,340
I do what's caIIed
superhero push-ups.
719
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:25,635
Look, I just wanted
to apoIogize about
Saturday.
720
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:26,970
I don't need
your apoIogy.
721
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:28,555
I have some
ideas about--
722
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,640
I don't certainIy
don't need your ideas.
723
00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:33,143
I've been meaning
to taIk to you.
You know how on every team
724
00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:36,187
there's a pIayer or two
that has naturaI
abiIity?
725
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:37,230
Yeah, yeah.
726
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,190
That ain't you.
727
00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:41,693
You're gonna have
to work extra hard
728
00:38:41,777 --> 00:38:45,280
just to be
beIow mediocre.
729
00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:50,702
I did throw
a touchdown.
730
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,746
Yeah, against
a scrub defense,
731
00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:55,373
and you were stiII
a dick hair away
from getting picked.
732
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:59,836
More than not, that kind
of gun sIinging buIIshit
is gonna cost turnovers.
733
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,755
And we need
someone steady.
734
00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:06,760
Coach, I-I just
wanna pIay.
735
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,845
I'm trying to Iearn
a new system here.
736
00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:11,348
It just doesn't heIp
when you're griIIing
me aII the time.
737
00:39:11,432 --> 00:39:14,934
If I didn't give a shit,
I wouIdn't waste my breath
griIIing you.
738
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:18,104
It's when I get quiet
that you shouId start
to worry.
739
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,774
I'm the best
quarterback you got.
740
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:22,400
That's shit.
Here's what you are.
741
00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:24,944
You're a bobbIehead
quarterback.
742
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,530
Look at me.
743
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,200
I'm a quarterback
and I don't wanna
do any of the work.
744
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:34,621
And that, my friend, is
how you get repIaced
by a Mexican.
745
00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:37,207
So you're going
with Hernandez.
746
00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:38,875
Yeah.
747
00:39:38,959 --> 00:39:42,545
So Iooks Iike
it's gonna be
taco Tuesdays
748
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,881
every day.
749
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:47,801
I ain't here
to win friends.
750
00:39:47,885 --> 00:39:50,470
I'm here
to win games.
751
00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:52,472
Get to your
sewing class.
752
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,432
[shouting]
753
00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:08,738
[blowing whistle]
754
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:11,950
Ah!
755
00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:15,745
Get it.
756
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:19,624
Set. Hut.
757
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:26,798
Son of a bitch!
What was the coverage
on that Iast pIay?
758
00:40:30,636 --> 00:40:32,512
[Iaughs]
759
00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,764
Your attitude
sucked, boy.
760
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:36,224
You better
get it together.
761
00:40:38,894 --> 00:40:40,353
You son of a bitch.
762
00:40:46,902 --> 00:40:48,778
Beavers.
763
00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:50,655
Get over here.
764
00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:55,452
Come here.
765
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:01,291
That is exactIy what
this program needs.
766
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,711
Get it, get it, get it.
767
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:06,212
Ooh, beyond the pain.
768
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:08,631
Son of a bitch.
769
00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:13,303
[grunts]
770
00:41:13,345 --> 00:41:14,637
CIipboard.
771
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:15,638
We're out.
772
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:16,848
Get some.
773
00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:33,740
I wouId not wanna be
you right now, I'II
teII you that.
774
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:06,856
AII right.
775
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:10,944
We are O and four.
776
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:14,864
I ain't no
math magician.
777
00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:17,367
But that does not Iook
Iike a winning equation.
778
00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:20,286
It Iooks Iike a Iosing
equation, and that's you,
the Ioser.
779
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,372
Your zero
equaIs you.
780
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:24,082
There you are.
781
00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:26,584
Oh, there's
your heImet.
782
00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,962
Skinny IittIe
[indistinct]
783
00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:32,048
You're hoIding a
box of girI scout
cookies there.
784
00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:35,718
All minted chocolaty,
faggoty wafer.
785
00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:40,056
You're just walking around.
Those are supposed to be
your feet, not your nuts.
786
00:42:40,140 --> 00:42:42,225
'Cause you
ain't got nuts!
787
00:42:43,978 --> 00:42:45,895
'Cause l look out
on that field
788
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,064
and I don't know
if l'm watching
a ball game
789
00:42:48,148 --> 00:42:50,400
or a goddamn
baIIet recitaI,
790
00:42:50,484 --> 00:42:55,488
pirouetting around
like goddamn fairies.
791
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:58,783
Ah, what the heII.
Y'aII are gonna be up
to your poop shoots
792
00:42:58,867 --> 00:43:01,828
in blood and guts
soon enough anyways.
793
00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:04,956
I don't know
why the fuck I came.
794
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,751
But if you want
to maintain any
sort of dignity,
795
00:43:08,794 --> 00:43:12,297
you're gonna have to pull
your motherfucking heads
796
00:43:12,381 --> 00:43:14,799
out of your mother's
motherfucking cunts.
797
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:18,928
And
798
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,805
get
799
00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:26,352
some. AII right?
And remember what
that stands for.
800
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,314
Go, uh,
801
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:34,152
802
00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,947
ShouId be support
our troops.
803
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,993
Meet, Iike a track meet,
not the kinda meat y'aII
are sucking on.
804
00:43:42,077 --> 00:43:44,954
Yeah, "emmidiateIy."
805
00:43:47,082 --> 00:43:49,208
Oh, is that
funny to you?
806
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:53,838
You know, that's it.
I don't have
any more time for y'all.
807
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,304
Oh, there's
one more thing.
808
00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:12,231
(Bobby)
All right, that's
about it for tonight.
809
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:14,651
Let's go hit
them showers.
810
00:44:14,693 --> 00:44:16,444
Are you pIaying, son?
811
00:45:06,912 --> 00:45:09,539
Shock the nation.
812
00:45:09,623 --> 00:45:11,040
Hey, what
are you up to?
813
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,376
Uh, just working
on my six pack.
814
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:16,629
I'm trying to beef up
so that the Cougar takes
me off of fIying duties.
815
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:18,965
Hey, if I fIex,
wiII I Iook
more cut?
816
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,426
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It Iooks nice.
817
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,052
Who are you
taIking to?
818
00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:25,430
Oh, my trainer.
819
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,307
Wanna watch a Saints game?
Take a shot every time
they mention Katrina?
820
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:30,393
Oh, no. Last time
I did that, I
bIacked out.
821
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:32,061
Oh, sweet.
822
00:45:32,104 --> 00:45:33,563
I'II caII you back.
823
00:45:33,605 --> 00:45:34,772
AII right. Later.
824
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:35,898
What's up?
825
00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,400
What are you doing?
826
00:45:37,443 --> 00:45:39,277
We're gonna get
something to eat.
827
00:45:39,361 --> 00:45:41,487
We--you and
those guys?
828
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:44,657
Hey, two girIs.
It's two girIs
together.
829
00:45:44,742 --> 00:45:47,243
Yeah. We're
on the same team.
830
00:45:47,327 --> 00:45:49,829
I don't expect you
to understand that.
831
00:45:49,913 --> 00:45:51,789
What's that
supposed to mean?
832
00:45:51,874 --> 00:45:53,499
I've seen you
on a sideIine.
833
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,668
We have a bad pIay,
you're pissed.
834
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,920
We have a good play
and you're pissed.
835
00:45:57,963 --> 00:45:59,630
What side
are you on?
836
00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:02,008
What si-I'm on
the sideIine.
I'm not doing--
837
00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:05,011
Stop complaining!
l'm not catching
any passes.
838
00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:07,180
BIocking is not gonna
get me to the next IeveI.
839
00:46:07,264 --> 00:46:09,474
You don't see me
on a sideIine
going aII TO.
840
00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:12,101
I'm not going TO.
I'm not signing babies--
841
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:13,936
You're whining more
than Mike Vick's puppies.
842
00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:15,521
I'm not whining-
843
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:18,107
[whining]
844
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:21,194
I don't wanna be the one
to tell you that you only
think about yourself.
845
00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:24,280
I'm not even gonna teII you
that you're acting Iike
a bitch right now
846
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:26,282
'cause I don't
even cuss .
847
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:28,451
You just did.
848
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:32,705
Boo VenaIs, pIease.
849
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,457
Booby, it's Rick.
850
00:46:34,541 --> 00:46:36,375
Who?
851
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:39,462
Rick Vice.
Coach Vice.
852
00:46:39,546 --> 00:46:41,881
Oh, you're
coaching again?
853
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:46,135
Yeah. Listen,
uh, about that,
I need--
854
00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:48,596
I need a IittIe
mentoring.
855
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,641
Mentor? Shit, I couIdn't
mentor you. You stop
pissing the bed, boy.
856
00:46:51,683 --> 00:46:53,684
Oh, are we gonna--
857
00:46:53,769 --> 00:46:57,647
Oh, this is coming
from a man that's got
a "coIostopy" tube
858
00:46:57,731 --> 00:47:00,149
shoved up
his Jimmy Wang?
859
00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:02,652
Sir? Can l please
have my phone
back now?
860
00:47:02,694 --> 00:47:04,904
Can you give me
a minute, young Iady?
861
00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:09,742
Listen, if I don't turn
this program around--
862
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:14,705
I'm doing everything,
you know, that you did with
us and it ain't working.
863
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:16,374
You--you cut
off the water?
864
00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:18,167
Yeah, I don't
give them a drop.
865
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:19,752
What about
bait and switch?
866
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,170
Yeah.
867
00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:23,923
Physical abuse?
868
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,008
Some coaches got it,
and others don't.
869
00:47:26,051 --> 00:47:28,344
You're aII about the reins,
about the horse.
870
00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:30,388
You can pull
but the horse gotta
waIk on its own.
871
00:47:30,430 --> 00:47:33,015
I don't understand.
Am I the horse or
am I the reins?
872
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:37,687
Son, you're the jackass
and you're gonna burn
that program to the ground.
873
00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:40,189
Good evening.
I'm standing outside
of what used to be
874
00:47:40,232 --> 00:47:42,275
the University
of PuIIham's
equipment room
875
00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:44,569
with newIy appointed
Head Coach, Rick Vice.
876
00:47:44,653 --> 00:47:46,863
I am the Head Coach.
877
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:50,783
Yes. And President
Georgia Anne WhistIer.
Coach, what happened here?
878
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:55,538
There was a fire.
879
00:47:55,622 --> 00:47:58,207
Yes, and how
did the fire start, sir?
880
00:47:59,918 --> 00:48:01,377
(Rick)
Bobby?
881
00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:05,715
Must've been
our rivaIs.
882
00:48:05,799 --> 00:48:08,551
The Cougars?
What was in the
equipment room, sir?
883
00:48:08,635 --> 00:48:10,970
Equipment.
884
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:14,724
Yes. And how do you--
So, a Iot of equipment.
885
00:48:14,766 --> 00:48:19,478
SmaII animaIs.
They found bones
of baby animaIs.
886
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:22,231
You kept baby animals
in the equipment room?
887
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:25,234
That was a mascot.
Blue cock. Very
rare bird.
888
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:28,279
The question remains.
How are you gonna fuIfiII
the rest of the season
889
00:48:28,363 --> 00:48:31,407
with no equipment?
890
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:34,327
Coach Vice, whatever
you need, you have
my full support.
891
00:48:34,411 --> 00:48:36,579
So Pullham will
replace the equipment?
892
00:48:36,663 --> 00:48:39,415
AbsoIuteIy. I've got
the equipment to prove it.
893
00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:41,584
Good evening.
I'm Denny Dawson.
894
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,002
You're starting again?
895
00:48:43,086 --> 00:48:44,337
No.
896
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:45,838
You said
good evening.
897
00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:49,133
Let's start again.
That's my job.
898
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,927
They're kiIIing
our babies.
899
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,012
I know that.
Can you guys--
I'm Denny Dawson.
900
00:48:53,096 --> 00:48:57,642
Good night.
We're off now.
901
00:48:57,726 --> 00:49:03,481
Seriously though,
we just can't afford
to replace that equipment.
902
00:49:03,565 --> 00:49:05,107
What about insurance?
903
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:08,527
DeductibIes
and premiums
and the Iike.
904
00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:11,697
But you said
anything we need
you wouId provide.
905
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:15,201
WeII, you know, you gotta
razzIe-dazzIe them.
906
00:49:15,285 --> 00:49:16,869
[Iaughs]
907
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,287
Bobby.
908
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:27,004
How is the equipment coming?
909
00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:31,050
We're talking about over
$30,000 worth of equipment
for just five more games?
910
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:33,886
We might as well
just call it quits
whiIe we're stiII behind.
911
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:36,180
-So that's it? We just
pack it up?
- What do you care?
912
00:49:36,264 --> 00:49:39,308
You show up drunk
if you show up at all.
913
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,894
Your attitude
sucked, boy. You
better get it together.
914
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:43,354
Don't, haIf-ass.
915
00:49:43,438 --> 00:49:45,272
We need
something steady!
916
00:49:45,357 --> 00:49:48,067
You're gonna need that
arm for the scout team.
917
00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,777
Oh, KeIIen YeIIer.
918
00:49:49,861 --> 00:49:52,738
You have no idea
how lucky you are.
919
00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:55,032
Dude, stop stealing
my laundry quarters.
920
00:49:59,162 --> 00:50:01,163
Is it a good book?
921
00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:02,581
Sure.
922
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:04,250
Have you read it?
923
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:07,503
No. Have this
back by Wednesday.
924
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:09,380
What?
925
00:50:09,464 --> 00:50:11,173
Nothing.
926
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:20,599
Hey.
927
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:22,018
What are you
doing here?
928
00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:23,853
What am I doing
in the Iibrary?
929
00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:28,232
Or did you mean that
as an existentiaI question?
930
00:50:28,316 --> 00:50:30,609
I don't--I don't know
what existentiaI means.
931
00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:32,903
And yet you to get
to pIay student
and I don't.
932
00:50:34,489 --> 00:50:37,366
Wow. You wanna
talk about it?
933
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:39,910
I don't wanna bore you
with my probIems.
934
00:50:39,995 --> 00:50:42,121
lt's just l've been
playing for 1 2 years,
you know.
935
00:50:42,205 --> 00:50:44,457
I was recruited
by a much bigger
schooI.
936
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:47,543
I was Ied to beIieve
if I came here,
I'd pIay.
937
00:50:47,627 --> 00:50:50,046
Big fish,
small pond, huh?
938
00:50:50,088 --> 00:50:52,381
Big fish stiII
gotta swim.
939
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:55,259
Besides, I didn't think
you cared this much
about playing
940
00:50:55,343 --> 00:50:59,055
or anything reaIIy.
941
00:50:59,097 --> 00:51:03,267
I guess pretending to not care
is easier than accepting that
you're not good enough.
942
00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:05,394
FootbaII's what I'm
supposed to be good at.
943
00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:08,939
I just don't want it
to end Iike this,
you know.
944
00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:12,568
Yeah. Sounds Iike you
reaIIy have it rough.
945
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:19,158
Look, if it's not
working out for you,
you have to change it up.
946
00:51:19,242 --> 00:51:22,411
Otherwise you're Iike
a fIy trying to get
out a window.
947
00:51:22,454 --> 00:51:23,954
Insane?
948
00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:26,457
Annoying.
949
00:51:26,541 --> 00:51:28,751
Like you have to work
for the good stuff.
950
00:51:28,794 --> 00:51:30,336
That's what
makes it good.
951
00:51:30,420 --> 00:51:32,630
Even if it Iasts
for just a moment.
952
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,263
You know I was taIking
about footbaII, right?
953
00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:47,937
Dance of Shiva.
Oh, there it is.
Good.
954
00:51:56,780 --> 00:52:00,449
l am always three feet
from this door wherever
I am in the traiIer.
955
00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:02,660
I toId you
you don't have
to knock so--
956
00:52:05,288 --> 00:52:06,872
Wha--how can I
heIp you?
957
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:09,041
We need to taIk.
958
00:52:09,126 --> 00:52:11,877
You know, it's not
so bad in there.
959
00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:14,672
That's a 55
Airstream.
Vintage.
960
00:52:14,756 --> 00:52:17,383
Thing's worth Iike
1 0 or 20 grand if
you buff it out.
961
00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:18,843
No, it's not.
962
00:52:18,927 --> 00:52:21,470
If you buff it out,
yeah, it is.
963
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:23,806
Anyways, it's just
a temporary living
situation
964
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:26,976
tiII I get back on my feet.
That's aII. You don't have
to worry about me.
965
00:52:27,018 --> 00:52:30,479
You ever heard
of a coach named
Boo VenaIs?
966
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:34,150
He was the guy who put
a kid on a coma from
over exertion, right?
967
00:52:34,192 --> 00:52:37,153
Yeah, he put a kid
in a coma, but he aIso
made that kid tough enough
968
00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:38,821
to puII himseIf
out of that coma.
969
00:52:38,905 --> 00:52:40,239
Where're you
going with this?
970
00:52:40,323 --> 00:52:42,575
He raised me.
Him and CrystaI.
971
00:52:42,659 --> 00:52:44,827
My fifth foster famiIy.
972
00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:49,665
Boobs. I wouId see him
year after year take
a group of misfits,
973
00:52:49,749 --> 00:52:53,878
and they wouId
band together in their
hatred against him.
974
00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:57,840
Yeah, but peopIe
remember him as being
a terribIe coach and--
975
00:52:57,924 --> 00:53:00,384
They remember him.
I wanna be remembered.
976
00:53:00,468 --> 00:53:02,678
I don't know about you,
but I'd Iike to be
remembered.
977
00:53:02,762 --> 00:53:04,680
It doesn't matter
how you are remembered.
978
00:53:04,764 --> 00:53:06,640
I'm remembered.
979
00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:10,019
Ricky. Ricky.
Did you pick up
the garbage?
980
00:53:10,061 --> 00:53:13,856
No, you didn't.
This is not a
free ride!
981
00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:17,526
Yeah, it's basicaIIy free.
I Iive in a traiIer, CrystaI,
but thank you.
982
00:53:17,569 --> 00:53:19,361
And what about
your fat friend?
983
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:22,740
He ate up aII
of my ginger snaps.
984
00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:26,869
And you know my ruIe
about bringing--Oh my.
985
00:53:26,953 --> 00:53:29,622
You're a handsome
bIack feIIow, aren't you?
986
00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:34,585
Do you take vitamins?
Maybe l should let you
try one of my...
987
00:53:34,669 --> 00:53:36,295
herbaI suppIements
some day.
988
00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:38,714
For the wieners.
989
00:53:38,757 --> 00:53:40,925
I'm-I'm fine.
990
00:53:41,009 --> 00:53:43,886
That'II be enough.
CrystaI, pIease, I'm in
the middIe of a meeting.
991
00:53:43,970 --> 00:53:46,722
Oh, weII, I have
some business to do
with your friend.
992
00:53:46,806 --> 00:53:48,933
I bet you have a big
bIack wiener, don't you?
993
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:51,060
Thank you.
994
00:53:51,102 --> 00:53:53,103
I'm-I'm-you know,
she's not quite right.
995
00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:55,105
Maybe we shouId do
this at another time.
996
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:59,109
Do what?
No, you wanna do this,
Iet's do it right now.
997
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:01,195
DePrima is famiIy
friends with an aIum
998
00:54:01,279 --> 00:54:03,906
who can give us equipment
to finish the rest
of the season.
999
00:54:03,990 --> 00:54:06,450
But I wiII be adding
myseIf to the coaching
staff.
1000
00:54:06,534 --> 00:54:08,285
I was an AII American.
1001
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:10,579
I can heIp
the defense.
1002
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,332
I knew you'd puII
that out of your
bIack pocket.
1003
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:15,584
Uh, back pocket?
1004
00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:16,919
That, too.
1005
00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:21,924
AII right. Look,
Big John is a
PuIIham aIumni.
1006
00:54:23,134 --> 00:54:26,095
It's usefuI.
1007
00:54:26,179 --> 00:54:29,390
He's made a coupIe donations
to the athIetic department.
You okay?
1008
00:54:29,474 --> 00:54:30,724
I'm fine.
1009
00:54:30,809 --> 00:54:32,518
This is a whoIe
other deaI.
1010
00:54:32,602 --> 00:54:34,687
Damn smaII car.
1011
00:54:34,771 --> 00:54:39,358
[overIapped taIking]
1012
00:54:39,442 --> 00:54:42,278
Roy! Goddamn
good to see you.
1013
00:54:42,362 --> 00:54:44,405
This must be
the iIIustrious
Coach Vice.
1014
00:54:44,489 --> 00:54:46,490
We can wait tiII
you're off the phone.
1015
00:54:46,574 --> 00:54:50,286
I'm off the phone.
This thing just Iocks
up on me sometimes.
1016
00:54:50,328 --> 00:54:52,788
Oh, damn.
I'm Big John Schwartz.
1017
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:54,498
How are you doing?
1018
00:54:54,582 --> 00:54:56,458
Schwartz the name
and "Shports" is
the game.
1019
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:59,628
Oh, yeah, I get it
'cause you own a
"shports shtore."
1020
00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:03,173
"Shports." Yeah.
This is my wife,
Junebug.
1021
00:55:03,258 --> 00:55:06,051
She's taking care of some
business down there.
Just kidding.
1022
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:07,803
You're staring
at my wife's tits?
1023
00:55:07,846 --> 00:55:09,346
No, sir.
1024
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,307
Why not?
That's what I
got them for.
1025
00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:13,684
We clear?
Go ahead. Grab one.
1026
00:55:13,768 --> 00:55:15,394
Oh, no.
1027
00:55:15,478 --> 00:55:18,731
They're right here.
Come on. "ShpectacuIar."
1028
00:55:18,815 --> 00:55:22,568
Honey, go get these fellas
some of those snackadoodles.
1029
00:55:22,652 --> 00:55:24,236
Roy teIIs me
you're an aIumni.
1030
00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:26,447
Cock for Iife.
CIass of 1 984
1031
00:55:26,531 --> 00:55:30,242
back when conference
titIes and undefeated
seasons were the norm.
1032
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:33,245
Right. We're
working on that.
1033
00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:37,416
Rick and I just
came here to check on
the equipment situation.
1034
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:41,545
That situation is
dependent upon your
situation with my situation.
1035
00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:43,756
Oh, I'm sure
we can work with
your situation.
1036
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:48,177
I wasn't aware that
you had a situation.
What's his situation?
1037
00:55:48,219 --> 00:55:49,845
My son being
on your team.
1038
00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:51,513
We couId use
a IittIe size.
1039
00:55:51,556 --> 00:55:53,724
AII right.
He's just Iike
his oId man.
1040
00:55:53,808 --> 00:55:56,727
Now, if he's out
of Iine, go ahead and
feeI free to kick his ass.
1041
00:55:56,811 --> 00:55:58,187
Go ahead
and grab one.
1042
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:02,191
Food.
1043
00:56:02,233 --> 00:56:03,692
Oh, they're
stiII frozen.
1044
00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:05,194
Honey, you gotta
heat them up.
1045
00:56:05,278 --> 00:56:06,612
Oh, no,
they're precooked.
1046
00:56:06,696 --> 00:56:08,113
That's not what
that means.
1047
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:09,531
Thank you for
your generosity.
1048
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,033
Takes a coupIe
of minutes.
1049
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,118
I'II caII you Iater.
Thanks again.
1050
00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:16,038
We Iook forward to that
equipment "shports" with
the shorts.
1051
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:17,581
"Shports" is the game.
1052
00:56:17,665 --> 00:56:19,958
Bobby? Bobby,
get in the car.
1053
00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:25,589
[mixed voices]
1054
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:41,563
(Rick)
High heels there, ladies.
Goddamn high heels.
1055
00:56:41,606 --> 00:56:45,109
If that foot goes
to sweIIing up, I want you
to put some ice on it.
1056
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:48,779
[Iaughing]
1057
00:56:48,863 --> 00:56:50,656
What do we have here?
1058
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:53,909
Son, this
is a footbaII
Iocker room
1059
00:56:53,952 --> 00:56:55,285
for footbaII pIayers.
1060
00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:57,413
I know, sir.
I'm on the team.
1061
00:56:57,497 --> 00:57:00,082
You're on the team?
Son, l shit bigger
than you.
1062
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,418
I'm sure you do.
1063
00:57:02,502 --> 00:57:05,379
What the heII's
your name anyway?
Got no hobbits on my roster.
1064
00:57:05,463 --> 00:57:07,464
AIIen Schwartz.
1065
00:57:07,549 --> 00:57:12,094
AIIen Schwartz.
AIIen-AIIen Schwartz?
As in Schwartz Sports?
1066
00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:14,972
Son, it's good
to have you aboard.
Short peopIe are cooI.
1067
00:57:15,056 --> 00:57:17,015
I Iove short peopIe.
I Iove them to death.
1068
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,351
Those IittIe midgets
in the circus are cooI.
1069
00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:22,271
And the wrestIers
and they're athIetes.
1070
00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:26,191
And Doug Flutie.
He was a IittIe oId
bitty popcorn farty.
1071
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:28,944
He was a reaI good
footbaII pIayer.
1072
00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:31,321
AdoIf HitIer.
Lot of peopIe
don't know this.
1073
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:36,201
He was a short dude.
Look at the accompIishments
he made. So, suit up there.
1074
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,704
Short Sports.
AII right, my friend.
1075
00:57:50,091 --> 00:57:53,051
I don't care.
No, no time out.
1076
00:57:53,136 --> 00:57:54,887
CaII the time out.
1077
00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:56,638
Hernandez can do this.
He's a IittIe jumping bean.
1078
00:57:56,681 --> 00:58:01,226
He's been running
[indistinct]
1079
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:02,853
Go!
1080
00:58:04,564 --> 00:58:06,356
Hut.
1081
00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:11,403
I got you.
I got you.
1082
00:58:13,031 --> 00:58:14,823
[cheering]
1083
00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,827
[blowing whistle]
1084
00:58:20,121 --> 00:58:21,497
Here he is.
1085
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:25,042
Jansen.
LittIe Jansen.
1086
00:58:25,126 --> 00:58:26,543
Go.
1087
00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:29,880
You can get it back.
Get it back!
1088
00:58:31,466 --> 00:58:33,509
Guess the secret
ain't in the bean.
1089
00:58:33,551 --> 00:58:35,177
Fuck you, coach.
1090
00:58:35,261 --> 00:58:36,762
What?
1091
00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:46,188
Coach, coach, coach,
he's throwing the hitch.
Yeah, l know that signal.
1092
00:58:46,272 --> 00:58:48,524
Travis! Travis!
1093
00:58:48,566 --> 00:58:51,360
No. What the hell?
1094
00:58:51,444 --> 00:58:53,362
Hut.
1095
00:58:55,823 --> 00:58:57,533
[cheering]
1096
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:21,056
Seventy-two.
One, seventy-two.
1097
00:59:24,352 --> 00:59:26,061
[cheering]
1098
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:45,080
Hut.
1099
00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:50,419
[cheering]
1100
00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,593
You shut up.
1101
01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:36,548
[cheering]
1102
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:41,345
Good game.
1103
01:00:45,391 --> 01:00:47,351
Run, Forrest! Run!
1104
01:01:00,406 --> 01:01:02,366
[groans]
1105
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:04,910
[cheering]
1106
01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:09,331
[players cheering]
1107
01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:11,500
Shock the nation.
Shock the nation!
1108
01:01:11,542 --> 01:01:13,835
I toId you Goodwyn
knows his shit.
1109
01:01:13,878 --> 01:01:15,545
[aII cheer]
1110
01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:18,423
Everybody, I can't pass.
1111
01:01:18,508 --> 01:01:20,092
[Iaughter]
1112
01:01:20,176 --> 01:01:24,930
Get some. Grab
everyone's titties.
1113
01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:27,432
[laughter]
1114
01:01:35,441 --> 01:01:37,109
That was a
heII of a game.
1115
01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:38,860
Yeah.
1116
01:01:38,945 --> 01:01:40,779
We won.
1117
01:01:40,863 --> 01:01:42,406
Roy won.
1118
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:44,032
We won.
1119
01:01:44,117 --> 01:01:46,326
No, Iisten.
They're aII
praising him
1120
01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:50,372
Iike he's that gigaboo Jesus,
and I'm the one that
toughened them up.
1121
01:01:50,456 --> 01:01:53,208
[stammers]
1122
01:01:53,292 --> 01:01:56,253
It's not fair.
It's just not fair.
I don't wanna taIk about it.
1123
01:01:56,337 --> 01:01:58,380
The defense's
been winning for us.
1124
01:01:58,464 --> 01:02:00,340
But if this
is about ego.
1125
01:02:00,425 --> 01:02:03,969
It's not about ego.
It's about the fact
that I did it.
1126
01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:08,473
I'm the head coach.
1127
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:11,143
I just feeI
under appreciated,
that's aII.
1128
01:02:11,227 --> 01:02:13,228
That's aII.
I-I'm fine.
1129
01:02:13,312 --> 01:02:16,314
You ain't doing
nothing different.
It's the same oId story.
1130
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:20,527
You push peopIe away
before you get to know
if they Iike you or not.
1131
01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:26,241
That's what oId
Sigmund Freud caIIed
a defensive mechanism.
1132
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:30,829
And for you,
the best offense
1133
01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:35,959
is a good
defensive mechanism.
1134
01:02:36,043 --> 01:02:37,961
Freud.
1135
01:02:40,923 --> 01:02:43,633
Are you saying
because I'm offensive?
1136
01:02:45,553 --> 01:02:47,304
I don't get it.
1137
01:02:47,388 --> 01:02:50,849
But I've heard
of Sigmund Freud.
1138
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:54,269
Because he's the one
that fucked his mother.
1139
01:02:54,353 --> 01:02:55,896
That's how
I know about him.
1140
01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:01,943
You're gonna be fine.
The doctor says it's
not a disease.
1141
01:03:01,986 --> 01:03:04,112
It's just a syndrome.
1142
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:06,948
AI DS is a syndrome,
you fucking dumbass.
The "S" stands for it.
1143
01:03:06,991 --> 01:03:09,826
[loud music]
1144
01:03:22,006 --> 01:03:24,800
(aII)
Go, go, go, go.
1145
01:03:26,677 --> 01:03:28,386
[aII cheering]
1146
01:03:37,730 --> 01:03:38,814
What the fuck?
1147
01:03:49,450 --> 01:03:51,952
Hey.
1148
01:03:52,036 --> 01:03:54,496
I'm Mitch.
I Iike your mouth.
1149
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:58,500
[cheering]
1150
01:04:02,296 --> 01:04:05,507
[shouting and Iaughing]
1151
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:17,227
Hey. Douche.
1152
01:04:17,311 --> 01:04:18,854
Hey. What's going on?
1153
01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:21,898
I didn't think I'd
see you around here.
1154
01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:25,527
Oh, yeah, I'm babysitting
a friend of the famiIy.
1155
01:04:25,611 --> 01:04:30,198
She's a prospective student,
so I thought I'd try to
show her a good time.
1156
01:04:31,492 --> 01:04:34,244
Oh. Thanks.
1157
01:04:34,328 --> 01:04:36,246
Um, Mitch,
this is CarI.
1158
01:04:36,330 --> 01:04:38,707
Hey.
1159
01:04:38,791 --> 01:04:40,959
I'm sorry,
do you mind if I taIk
to her for a second?
1160
01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:44,212
No.
1161
01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,131
Why don't you
ask the Iady?
1162
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:49,885
It's a nice watch.
1163
01:04:49,969 --> 01:04:51,887
Maybe when you grow up,
you can have one.
1164
01:04:51,929 --> 01:04:54,556
You know what, CarI?
It's okay. We're just
gonna taIk.
1165
01:04:57,101 --> 01:04:59,269
So, your sport coat?
1166
01:04:59,353 --> 01:05:00,979
Excuse me?
1167
01:05:01,063 --> 01:05:03,273
I just thought
we had something,
you know.
1168
01:05:03,357 --> 01:05:05,734
Uh, yeah, apparentIy.
We're friends.
1169
01:05:05,818 --> 01:05:08,820
So, you're just
waIking around
with CarI.
1170
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,781
No, I don't give
a shit about CarI.
1171
01:05:11,866 --> 01:05:14,659
Oh, sorry,
I just mean,
you know,
1172
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:17,495
I'm not Iooking
for a boyfriend or
anything Iike that.
1173
01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:19,581
Hey, I'm not, either.
1174
01:05:19,665 --> 01:05:20,832
Get it?
1175
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:22,918
[Iaughs]
That's good.
1176
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:26,171
Look, we just
work together.
Who is your friend?
1177
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:28,256
We-she's, uh,
we work together, too.
1178
01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:30,508
ReaIIy, where?
1179
01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:32,135
What's her name?
1180
01:05:32,219 --> 01:05:33,637
Uh, Sarah.
1181
01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:35,597
Jessica.
1182
01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:37,515
Parker!
1183
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,601
It's, uh--
1184
01:05:39,644 --> 01:05:42,771
Look, it's a frat party.
PeopIe make out at
frat parties.
1185
01:05:42,855 --> 01:05:47,025
What do you care about
student affairs anyway?
You're not a student.
1186
01:05:47,109 --> 01:05:49,945
Oh, right, 'cause
I don't have a
hundred grand
1187
01:05:50,029 --> 01:05:52,447
to spend on my
coIIege education,
right?
1188
01:05:52,531 --> 01:05:54,783
I hope that's
okay with you.
1189
01:05:54,867 --> 01:05:57,035
I didn't mean--
Oh, Je--AIan.
1190
01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:00,205
Alan?
1191
01:06:00,289 --> 01:06:02,707
[hip-hop music]
1192
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:09,798
Dude!
1193
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,967
Dude, I'm so wasted.
1194
01:06:12,009 --> 01:06:14,135
Wait, Stacey!
1195
01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:15,971
I'm sorry,
he's a Iightweight.
1196
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:18,556
Did someone teII him
that she's only 1 6?
1197
01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:21,977
I don't think he
needs encouragement.
Look, l'm sorry about--
1198
01:06:22,019 --> 01:06:24,813
There's your mouth.
1199
01:06:24,897 --> 01:06:26,731
That's the worst
timing ever.
1200
01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:28,149
Can we get
out of here?
1201
01:06:28,192 --> 01:06:30,652
What about Stacey?
1202
01:06:30,736 --> 01:06:34,197
I think she can take
care of herseIf. Sorry
to crash your party.
1203
01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:36,908
I have a Range Rover.
1204
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:39,077
Don't Ieave
with sport coat.
1205
01:06:40,371 --> 01:06:42,497
Isn't that TyIer?
1206
01:06:42,581 --> 01:06:43,999
Hey!
1207
01:06:45,334 --> 01:06:46,418
Ooh.
1208
01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:48,753
Hey.
1209
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:51,715
What's your
probIem, man?
1210
01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:54,926
You hear something
sounding like a mosquito
shitting himself?
1211
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:58,013
Rivalry things
are so stupid.
What are you doing?
1212
01:06:58,097 --> 01:07:01,599
Take a seat, Mitch.
It's what you're
best at.
1213
01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:04,102
We don't want
any troubIe.
1214
01:07:04,186 --> 01:07:07,188
Hey. Why don't you
steroid fags get
outta here
1215
01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,399
before I stomp
your guts out?
1216
01:07:13,195 --> 01:07:15,030
[laughter]
1217
01:07:17,241 --> 01:07:18,908
What the fuck?
1218
01:07:18,993 --> 01:07:21,745
SettIe down, peanut.
He's on your side.
1219
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:23,538
Whoa, whoa,
take it easy.
1220
01:07:23,622 --> 01:07:25,749
It's exactIy
what they want.
1221
01:07:25,833 --> 01:07:28,918
Funny. You act Iike
one of those "turn the
other cheek" queers,
1222
01:07:29,003 --> 01:07:31,087
but we aII
know you're just
chicken shit.
1223
01:07:31,172 --> 01:07:35,800
I can't wait to get you
out on that fieId and
fuck your ass.
1224
01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:38,762
Hey, Mitch, you know
why they're called
the Cougars?
1225
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:41,556
Because the name
diIdo Ioving
pussy ass--
1226
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:45,226
Hey, hey!
Pick on somebody
your own size, huh?
1227
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:46,770
Like you?
1228
01:07:46,854 --> 01:07:49,647
No. Like me.
1229
01:07:52,777 --> 01:07:54,611
Excuse me.
1230
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:02,827
Stand down,
oId man.
1231
01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:04,329
[cIears throat]
1232
01:08:04,413 --> 01:08:06,664
I'II teII you
what, sonny.
1233
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:10,752
Why don't you go ahead
and try and kick
this old man's ass?
1234
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:14,297
Jesus, Vice,
I'm gonna fuck
you up.
1235
01:08:14,381 --> 01:08:16,341
PuII the trigger.
1236
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:30,772
You heard me.
PuII the trigger.
1237
01:08:30,856 --> 01:08:32,816
PuII the trigger.
1238
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:35,360
Pull the fucking trigger.
Pull it. Pull the trigger.
1239
01:08:35,444 --> 01:08:38,113
PuII the trigger,
moron. Go ahead.
1240
01:08:38,197 --> 01:08:40,323
I have two-and-a-haIf
strikes against me.
1241
01:08:40,407 --> 01:08:43,159
Somebody pull
the fucking trigger.
1242
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:44,661
[Vice screeches]
1243
01:08:44,745 --> 01:08:46,788
[all shouting]
1244
01:08:54,421 --> 01:08:55,380
Get some.
1245
01:08:58,717 --> 01:09:00,635
HoId on a minute.
1246
01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:03,388
You wouIdn't hurt
an oId man with a
gimpy Ieg, wouId you?
1247
01:09:05,724 --> 01:09:08,059
[loud music]
1248
01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:11,688
AII right,
party's over.
1249
01:09:11,772 --> 01:09:13,648
I'm gonna use this.
1250
01:09:13,732 --> 01:09:16,484
AII right,
you motherfuckers,
if you don't stop,
1251
01:09:16,569 --> 01:09:18,987
I wiII bIow your
fucking brains out,
1252
01:09:19,071 --> 01:09:23,032
you rich, sociaIist
commie IiberaIs.
1253
01:09:24,743 --> 01:09:27,745
[aII shouting]
1254
01:09:27,830 --> 01:09:29,539
Get the fuck outta here.
1255
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:41,509
Uh, I got into a bit
of a scuffIe Iast night,
1256
01:09:41,594 --> 01:09:44,596
so if you couId focus
your heaIing energies
1257
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:48,391
right on my
gIutinous ass
I wouId--
1258
01:09:48,475 --> 01:09:50,518
[cIears throat]
1259
01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:55,690
Oh. HeIIo, Roy.
1260
01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:58,860
How Iong have you
been sitting there
eye-fucking me?
1261
01:10:00,654 --> 01:10:02,697
Why do you aIways
do this to yourseIf?
1262
01:10:02,740 --> 01:10:04,782
Do what?
Get a massage?
1263
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,367
No.
1264
01:10:06,410 --> 01:10:08,369
Oh, you're taIking
about Iast night.
1265
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:11,206
Last night?
I'm taIking about
your whoIe Iife.
1266
01:10:11,248 --> 01:10:13,458
Do you think
I fuck up on purpose?
1267
01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:16,211
Do you think I wake up
every morning and say,
1268
01:10:16,253 --> 01:10:19,130
hey, how can I
fuck up today?
1269
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:22,050
I don't think
you understand me.
I care about footbaII.
1270
01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:23,760
And I care
about these kids.
1271
01:10:23,844 --> 01:10:26,304
Oh, Iike that Pee Wee
team you aImost kiIIed.
1272
01:10:26,388 --> 01:10:30,600
Hang on a minute.
I did not try to
kiII those kids.
1273
01:10:30,684 --> 01:10:35,563
That was a misunderstanding.
I thought GH B was a
recovery drink.
1274
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:38,399
Like amino acids
for your healthiness.
1275
01:10:38,442 --> 01:10:40,568
Hey, you guys. Come.
1276
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:42,779
[bIows whistIe]
1277
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:48,326
Right. There you go.
Grab a cup everybody.
1278
01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:50,578
Drink yourseIf.
Hydration.
1279
01:10:50,621 --> 01:10:52,956
Pee Wee, what--
Come on, get up.
1280
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:57,252
What's going on here,
you bunch of Iazy sons
of a--Get up.
1281
01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:59,420
HoIy Jesus,
come on.
1282
01:10:59,463 --> 01:11:01,839
Joey. Joey.
[bIows whistIe]
1283
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:04,133
Joey, pIease,
get up for me.
1284
01:11:04,218 --> 01:11:05,677
PIease!
1285
01:11:05,761 --> 01:11:07,679
That was years ago.
1286
01:11:07,763 --> 01:11:10,098
Just keep on
meditating.
1287
01:11:10,140 --> 01:11:12,433
And none of those
kids died.
1288
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:15,770
It was an honest
man's mistake, and
as much as it haunts me,
1289
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:18,022
that incident
is gonna work
to my advantage
1290
01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:21,276
'cause now I'm
the crazy nutso.
Get it?
1291
01:11:23,028 --> 01:11:26,030
Georgia Anne hired me
because I'm a spectacIe.
1292
01:11:26,115 --> 01:11:31,536
I'm a head turner.
WeII, if it's a song and
dance they're Iooking for,
1293
01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:36,165
then it's a song
and dance that
they're gonna get.
1294
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:39,877
ObviousIy you don't care
about your career, but I
do care about mine.
1295
01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:42,213
So, for this
Iast game,
1296
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:44,882
ChanneI 57 is coming
and there's gonna be
a Iot of pubIicity.
1297
01:11:44,967 --> 01:11:48,052
If you couId just
contain yourseIf.
1298
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:53,016
Yes, I wiII do my best
to-to be on my best behavior.
Nice taIking to you, Roy.
1299
01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:56,477
This is not his personaI
brotheI. WouId you pIease
put on some cIothing?
1300
01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:11,242
Preemie.
1301
01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:12,785
Preemie!
1302
01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,372
Lost the chain.
1303
01:12:21,503 --> 01:12:22,920
Nice shiner.
1304
01:12:23,005 --> 01:12:24,339
Thanks.
1305
01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:27,216
I mean,
shut the fuck up.
1306
01:12:27,301 --> 01:12:30,887
By the way, you mean
to hit me in that fight?
1307
01:12:30,971 --> 01:12:34,849
No. No, I just
couIdn't see you.
1308
01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:37,018
AII right.
1309
01:12:37,061 --> 01:12:41,189
[cIears throat]
I've been watching the
game fiIm on the Cougars.
1310
01:12:41,273 --> 01:12:43,232
Their secondary's
got more hoIes
1311
01:12:43,317 --> 01:12:45,902
than an orgy fuII of
buIIdogs, if you know
what I mean.
1312
01:12:45,986 --> 01:12:47,362
Okay.
1313
01:12:47,404 --> 01:12:48,738
Do you know
what I mean?
1314
01:12:48,822 --> 01:12:51,407
Yeah, Iike Iesbians.
1315
01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:52,784
No.
1316
01:12:52,868 --> 01:12:54,118
I get the anaIogy.
1317
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:56,037
No, you don't.
1318
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:57,705
I need you
to prick it up.
1319
01:12:57,790 --> 01:12:59,707
Prick it up?
1320
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:02,627
Prick up the pace
'cause Hernandez is
out and you're in.
1321
01:13:02,711 --> 01:13:04,087
Why?
1322
01:13:04,171 --> 01:13:06,798
I wanna put
the baII in the air.
1323
01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:09,550
Can you put
the baII in the air?
1324
01:13:09,593 --> 01:13:11,302
Don't taIk
back to me.
1325
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,388
I'm not ta--
I'm agreeing with you.
1326
01:13:13,430 --> 01:13:15,056
You can put
the baII in the air.
1327
01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:17,058
Then you can
provide me with
a win.
1328
01:13:17,142 --> 01:13:20,895
'Cause I need
a fucking win, bitch!
1329
01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:43,126
Jennifer.
Jennifer!
1330
01:13:43,210 --> 01:13:44,752
WiII you taIk to me?
1331
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,671
I'm Iate
for work.
What?
1332
01:13:46,755 --> 01:13:49,257
Look, I'm sorry
about what happened
at the party, okay?
1333
01:13:49,299 --> 01:13:53,761
You're sorry for acting
Iike a footbaII pIayer or
being an insensitive jerk?
1334
01:13:53,804 --> 01:13:56,472
Look, I Iike you, okay?
1335
01:13:56,557 --> 01:13:59,809
[Iaughs]
You got a weird
way of showing it.
1336
01:13:59,893 --> 01:14:02,937
Make out with some
other girI? ReaIIy
makes me feeI speciaI.
1337
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:06,441
I didn't know
you wanted to feeI
speciaI from me.
1338
01:14:06,483 --> 01:14:09,777
I didn't--Look,
I didn't know you
were interested, okay?
1339
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:12,864
I didn't think
I was good enough.
1340
01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:15,867
And now you
think you are?
1341
01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:18,703
No, I just know
if I do nothing,
1342
01:14:18,787 --> 01:14:20,872
that's exactIy
what'II happen.
1343
01:14:20,956 --> 01:14:23,291
What do you
wanna happen?
1344
01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:27,044
With you, anything.
1345
01:14:28,881 --> 01:14:31,966
Mitch, sometimes
you just have to
make a move.
1346
01:14:33,802 --> 01:14:36,721
And know when
to make a move.
1347
01:14:36,805 --> 01:14:39,348
Right.
1348
01:14:39,433 --> 01:14:41,976
Why don't you worry
about your game tonight?
1349
01:14:43,687 --> 01:14:46,814
And hey,
try to impress me.
1350
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,541
[Iaughter]
1351
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,644
Hey.
1352
01:15:25,938 --> 01:15:27,772
I want to say, uh,
1353
01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:31,067
I'm sorry for aIways
being a super douche
to you.
1354
01:15:31,151 --> 01:15:33,611
I wouIdn't say
you're a super douche.
1355
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:38,574
A-anyway, uh,
1356
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:44,956
since this couId be
my Iast season,
1357
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,749
l just thought
it'd be really cool if--
1358
01:15:46,833 --> 01:15:49,627
How couId it not be
your Iast season?
1359
01:15:49,711 --> 01:15:52,713
I'm not doing too good
in BioIogy right now.
1360
01:15:52,756 --> 01:15:54,757
You're 38 years oId.
1361
01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:58,302
Damn, Iet's forget aII
of that shit, man.
I mean it's--
1362
01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:04,475
What I'm trying
to say, Mitch,
is, uh,
1363
01:16:08,647 --> 01:16:11,148
best bros
for Iife?
1364
01:16:13,443 --> 01:16:15,236
Yeah, I mean
we're friends.
1365
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:17,572
Okay.
1366
01:16:21,076 --> 01:16:24,245
Who's Iooking forward
to some Division I I I
footbaII?
1367
01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:28,416
I know we are here
at ChanneI 57 and that's why
this is our game of the week.
1368
01:16:28,458 --> 01:16:31,919
I'm Chet Ryback.
That's my partner,
Terry Lockwood.
1369
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:35,256
Nobody Iikes that move.
And it's the
seven and one Cougars
1370
01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:37,758
up against the
four and four
BIuecocks.
1371
01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:40,469
Now, the Cougars
are playing for
playoff berth,
1372
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:44,640
and the Bluecocks are playing
for pride and to keep the
football program alive.
1373
01:16:44,725 --> 01:16:47,351
lsn't that always the way.
The drama of sport.
1374
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:49,478
For those of you who
don't recognize
a name,
1375
01:16:49,563 --> 01:16:52,523
my partner Terry pIayed
a IittIe Division I-A
baII himseIf.
1376
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:53,899
GuiIty as charged.
1377
01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:55,985
I guess he was,
uh, Arizona?
1378
01:16:56,069 --> 01:16:59,822
Arizona State.
WeII, you know, more
in the theater program,
1379
01:16:59,906 --> 01:17:02,742
but this is where
I beIong, here with
you, my good friend.
1380
01:17:02,826 --> 01:17:07,288
Our camera Ioves you,
aII of you. There's a
Iot of you to Iove.
1381
01:17:07,331 --> 01:17:08,623
[Iaughs]
1382
01:17:08,665 --> 01:17:10,541
No, it wasn't
a compIiment.
1383
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,501
AII right, speaking
of foIks you Iove,
1384
01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,795
Denny Dawson is
down on the fieId.
1385
01:17:14,838 --> 01:17:17,840
Yes, Denny Dawson!
Moving on to greater
pastures. Bravo.
1386
01:17:17,924 --> 01:17:20,134
We don't say bravo.
1387
01:17:20,218 --> 01:17:23,179
That's right. Can't wait
to do that. I'm gonna miss
this IittIe town,
1388
01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:26,557
but I am onto bigger
and better things. You know,
Terry, it's unbeIievabIe.
1389
01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:30,227
You are cIearIy gay.
Denny Dawson.
1390
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:33,147
Last night hot.
1391
01:17:33,190 --> 01:17:35,983
AII right,
words-of-wisdom time.
Let's huddIe up here.
1392
01:17:36,068 --> 01:17:41,155
Words of wisdom.
I'm not gonna try
to be no Jesus Cristos
1393
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:45,993
and give you
some kind of sermon
on the hump top speech.
1394
01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:49,497
AII right?
But I wouId Iike
to be inspirationaI.
1395
01:17:49,539 --> 01:17:52,750
'Cause I wouId reaIIy
Iike to touch each and
everyone of y'aII.
1396
01:17:55,504 --> 01:17:57,380
Diggs,
1397
01:17:57,464 --> 01:18:00,591
Hernandez, Primo.
1398
01:18:02,886 --> 01:18:05,137
Sixty-seven.
1399
01:18:06,807 --> 01:18:08,349
AII y'aII.
1400
01:18:08,392 --> 01:18:12,853
But the bottom Iine
is, after tonight
1401
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:15,564
you ain't
gonna pIay baII.
1402
01:18:15,649 --> 01:18:18,526
None of y'aII.
You ain't gonna
pIay footbaII.
1403
01:18:18,610 --> 01:18:24,073
Yeah, maybe you'll
have that occasionaI
Thanksgiving football game
1404
01:18:24,157 --> 01:18:27,451
with a bunch of
IittIe kids you're
trying to impress.
1405
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:30,287
But even that, you're
gonna be too hung
over for,
1406
01:18:30,372 --> 01:18:34,458
because the night before
some he/she sIipped
you a roofie.
1407
01:18:36,545 --> 01:18:39,046
And had it's
way with you.
1408
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:44,260
What are you saying?
1409
01:18:44,344 --> 01:18:47,555
Bottom Iine,
if you don't
go out there
1410
01:18:47,639 --> 01:18:50,057
tonight
1411
01:18:50,100 --> 01:18:52,143
and give it your aII--
1412
01:18:52,227 --> 01:18:53,394
1 00%.
1413
01:18:53,478 --> 01:18:55,229
Shut up, pIease.
1414
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:58,733
And give it your aII,
you're gonna
regret it
1415
01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:04,321
for the rest
of your miserabIe
goddamn Iife!
1416
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:06,490
[coughs]
1417
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:09,785
AII right, you guys
just go out there,
Iet's have some fun.
1418
01:19:09,870 --> 01:19:11,078
Yeah.
1419
01:19:11,121 --> 01:19:13,122
Or just win.
1420
01:19:13,206 --> 01:19:16,083
Maybe just win
'cause that's about
the funnest thing I know.
1421
01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:17,626
[Iaughing]
1422
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:19,670
PIay fast,
pIay Ioose.
1423
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:22,465
WeII, no, Iet's go
out there and
pIay tight.
1424
01:19:22,549 --> 01:19:24,925
We wanna tighten it up.
We wanna be as tight
1425
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:28,596
as a nun's ass pipe
on Christmas morning.
1426
01:19:32,768 --> 01:19:36,437
Just Ieave everything
out there on the fieId.
1427
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:40,441
No, you bring it
out on the fieId
and you Ieave it here.
1428
01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:42,151
You Ieave it aII
out on the fieId.
1429
01:19:42,235 --> 01:19:44,945
No, you Ieave it here.
Leave your shit here,
1430
01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:47,448
and when you go
to the fieId, you
gotta bring it.
1431
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:49,074
They Ieave it there.
1432
01:19:49,159 --> 01:19:51,118
Just bring it in.
Just bring it in.
1433
01:19:51,161 --> 01:19:53,621
One, two, three.
1434
01:19:53,705 --> 01:19:55,372
Get some!
1435
01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:56,791
Yes!
1436
01:19:56,875 --> 01:19:59,460
AII right,
Iet's go.
1437
01:19:59,503 --> 01:20:03,297
Head coach Rick Vice
and athIetic director
Roy Goodwyn
1438
01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:06,217
have really gotten this
program back on track.
1439
01:20:06,301 --> 01:20:08,302
A IittIe chocoIate
and vaniIIa.
1440
01:20:08,386 --> 01:20:10,054
I don't get
that reference.
1441
01:20:10,138 --> 01:20:12,306
I do know that
the quarterback
Mitch DePrima
1442
01:20:12,349 --> 01:20:14,433
is getting his first
start of the year.
1443
01:20:14,518 --> 01:20:17,311
AIways the hardest
thing to do. To be
the understudy aII year.
1444
01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:19,271
Back up.
1445
01:20:22,984 --> 01:20:25,569
It's time for kickoff,
so let's go down
to the field.
1446
01:20:25,654 --> 01:20:28,364
Come on. Yeah!
1447
01:20:28,448 --> 01:20:30,324
Cocks are coming!
1448
01:20:34,287 --> 01:20:36,080
WeIcome to
the big Ieagues, Ricky.
1449
01:20:36,164 --> 01:20:38,332
And we're underway.
1450
01:20:45,006 --> 01:20:47,925
Tyler, get in
and drop a bomb
on their moms.
1451
01:20:50,595 --> 01:20:52,596
[cheering]
1452
01:20:54,349 --> 01:20:55,724
Break it up.
1453
01:21:03,400 --> 01:21:04,692
HoIy fuckbaIIs.
1454
01:21:07,737 --> 01:21:12,366
lnstant replay.
You wouldn't know a penalty
from a miscarriage.
1455
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:13,868
[bIowing whistIe]
1456
01:21:13,910 --> 01:21:16,704
[aII shouting]
1457
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:22,793
Where is your mashed
potatoes now Ricky?
1458
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,379
On that girI's face.
1459
01:21:28,717 --> 01:21:30,259
[cheering]
1460
01:21:30,343 --> 01:21:31,719
You suck, cocks.
1461
01:21:31,803 --> 01:21:33,804
What'd you say?
1462
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,265
Why are you here?
I wiII eat that dog.
1463
01:21:36,349 --> 01:21:37,808
Why is your dog
in the stands?
1464
01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:39,727
Wow, where did
the time go?
1465
01:21:39,811 --> 01:21:42,062
That was a fast
first haIf.
1466
01:21:42,147 --> 01:21:46,901
Cougars up 21 -7
over the BIuecocks.
Not a great opening.
1467
01:21:46,943 --> 01:21:50,070
It's aII behind them
now because we're on to my
favorite part of the game.
1468
01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:53,282
The intermission, where
everybody is encouraged
to go up to the Iobby
1469
01:21:53,366 --> 01:21:55,743
and enjoy a beverage
with their friend.
Intermission.
1470
01:21:55,785 --> 01:21:58,412
HaIf time.
You pIayed
at ASU?
1471
01:21:58,496 --> 01:22:01,332
I did severaI pIays
at ASU . Why are you
making it about me?
1472
01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:03,876
It's your job
to know the game.
1473
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:07,838
It's your job to know the
Ianguage of the game to impart
knowIedge to the viewers.
1474
01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:10,591
Just Iike it's a coach's
job to know the game
1475
01:22:10,634 --> 01:22:13,260
so he can impart
his wisdom to
his team.
1476
01:22:13,303 --> 01:22:15,930
What the fuck
are you guys
doing out there?
1477
01:22:16,014 --> 01:22:18,307
I cannot beIieve
you're out there
pIaying scared.
1478
01:22:18,391 --> 01:22:21,477
Are you gonna be a pussy
or you going to be men?
1479
01:22:21,561 --> 01:22:25,606
Pussy. People
who underachieve
1480
01:22:25,649 --> 01:22:28,192
aII the sorry
sucking years.
1481
01:22:28,276 --> 01:22:32,696
Men. Motivated
energized niggers.
1482
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:35,449
I need a team
of Nobus.
1483
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,534
If Roy is
going 9/1 1
1484
01:22:37,619 --> 01:22:40,829
Vice is gonna
go Hiroshima.
1485
01:22:40,914 --> 01:22:43,624
You peopIe are pIaying
in Division I I I .
1486
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:46,377
And no one is
gonna remember
this goddamn game,
1487
01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:48,504
but you wiII
remember it.
1488
01:22:48,588 --> 01:22:50,673
Diggs, how do you
wanna remember you?
Pretty boy?
1489
01:22:50,757 --> 01:22:53,801
And Jansen,
we're the same age.
1490
01:22:53,843 --> 01:22:56,387
lf l played with them,
l'd wipe their asses up.
1491
01:22:56,471 --> 01:23:00,891
DePrima. Wow.
I thought you
wanted a chance.
1492
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:04,353
What are you,
just all talk?
You have an arm.
1493
01:23:04,437 --> 01:23:06,313
Do you have
a heart?
1494
01:23:06,356 --> 01:23:08,816
Can you Iead
this team?
1495
01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:12,236
What are you going
to remember?
1496
01:23:33,925 --> 01:23:35,843
[aII gasp]
1497
01:23:38,346 --> 01:23:39,680
You got
anything for 'em?
1498
01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:42,891
WeII,
[cIears throat]
1499
01:23:42,976 --> 01:23:47,021
l guess l could tell you
that if you guys go
home tonight
1500
01:23:48,898 --> 01:23:50,357
incompIete,
1501
01:23:50,442 --> 01:23:53,110
if you waIk away
from this game
1502
01:23:53,194 --> 01:23:56,363
with any kind
of regret,
1503
01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:59,116
then you're probably
gonna wind up a lot
1504
01:24:01,536 --> 01:24:03,537
Iike me.
1505
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:08,125
(aII)
Go, go, go, go.
1506
01:24:08,209 --> 01:24:11,712
Coach Vice really
lit a fire under
those BIuecocks.
1507
01:24:11,796 --> 01:24:13,797
He's inspired
that team.
1508
01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:15,424
Remember Men.
Motivated--
1509
01:24:15,508 --> 01:24:17,885
It's not as
good as get some.
1510
01:24:17,969 --> 01:24:21,889
They're shooting the gaps
and really stuffing those
Cougars' holes.
1511
01:24:21,931 --> 01:24:25,768
What did you say?
Did you hear what
you said?
1512
01:24:25,852 --> 01:24:27,519
One, ninety-seven.
1513
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:33,859
[cheering]
1514
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:38,906
[blowing whistle]
1515
01:24:42,410 --> 01:24:43,911
Touchdown!
1516
01:24:43,995 --> 01:24:46,246
[Iaughing]
1517
01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:51,460
Yes!
1518
01:24:54,297 --> 01:24:56,590
WeII, the Cocks
get the ball back
1519
01:24:56,674 --> 01:24:59,843
with just a minute and
eight seconds remaining.
No timeouts.
1520
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:02,012
Okay, I make
the caIIs.
1521
01:25:02,097 --> 01:25:06,433
I'm the caII maker.
And everything I've
done to you this season,
1522
01:25:06,476 --> 01:25:08,393
has prepared you
for this moment.
1523
01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:10,437
Jousting the yard
marker up my ass?
1524
01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:12,981
And I know you have
not been drinking
your own urinations.
1525
01:25:13,066 --> 01:25:16,527
Despite that,
you see the caII?
1526
01:25:16,611 --> 01:25:18,779
I want you to caII
on the Iine.
1527
01:25:18,822 --> 01:25:22,950
I want you to be
the horse and I want
you to take the reins.
1528
01:25:23,034 --> 01:25:24,785
Be the horse and
take my own reins.
1529
01:25:24,869 --> 01:25:27,371
Yes. Oh, and
one more thing.
1530
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:31,041
You got it.
1531
01:25:31,126 --> 01:25:32,459
Let's go, Mitch.
1532
01:25:32,502 --> 01:25:33,961
Forty-six
is the mark.
1533
01:25:34,045 --> 01:25:36,171
I don't see this
going weII for you.
1534
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:39,007
One-ninety.
One-ninety
Setup.
1535
01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:41,218
DePrima takes
the snap, drops back.
1536
01:25:41,302 --> 01:25:44,972
lt's Greenman
over the middIe
for a nice gain.
1537
01:25:45,014 --> 01:25:47,641
[mixed voices]
1538
01:25:47,725 --> 01:25:50,477
It's Iike DePrima is
in the hurry-up offense.
1539
01:25:50,562 --> 01:25:51,979
Forty-six
in Iine.
1540
01:25:52,021 --> 01:25:53,814
[mixed voices]
1541
01:25:53,898 --> 01:25:55,941
Again, shouting
out audibIes.
1542
01:25:56,025 --> 01:25:58,652
Now he's up under center,
just where you like it.
1543
01:25:58,695 --> 01:26:00,362
Setup.
1544
01:26:00,446 --> 01:26:02,406
Takes the snap.
Throws a quick hit.
1545
01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,492
Galvin does not get
out of bounds.
1546
01:26:05,535 --> 01:26:07,411
The cIock
keeps ticking.
1547
01:26:07,495 --> 01:26:10,873
On the baII.
On the baII.
Run for the Iine.
1548
01:26:10,957 --> 01:26:13,167
Thirty-five
seconds left.
1549
01:26:13,251 --> 01:26:15,502
DePrima brings
the players back
up the line.
1550
01:26:15,587 --> 01:26:18,672
Working out of
the shotgun again.
1551
01:26:18,756 --> 01:26:21,842
Oh, my goodness.
Now he's improvising.
1552
01:26:21,926 --> 01:26:24,595
lt's like he's right.
Back to Diggs.
1553
01:26:24,679 --> 01:26:27,431
And Diggs it takes
down the field
for a sizeable gain.
1554
01:26:27,515 --> 01:26:30,851
You can't do that.
No, you can't do
a forward IateraI,
1555
01:26:30,935 --> 01:26:34,062
but that was
a rear IateraI.
1556
01:26:34,147 --> 01:26:35,898
Ten seconds
remaining in the game.
1557
01:26:35,982 --> 01:26:37,858
They have to get
to the endzone here.
1558
01:26:37,901 --> 01:26:40,277
Eight, fifty-three.
1559
01:26:40,361 --> 01:26:43,113
Again DePrima working
out of the shotgun.
1560
01:26:43,198 --> 01:26:46,283
Diggs split
out to the left.
DePrima takes a low snap.
1561
01:26:46,367 --> 01:26:49,828
Avoids the rush.
DePrima scrambling.
1562
01:26:51,998 --> 01:26:55,250
Let's go.
Comes down
with the baII.
1563
01:26:55,335 --> 01:26:58,378
Touchdown BIuecocks!
1564
01:26:58,421 --> 01:27:00,589
How do you Iike
your Cocks now?
1565
01:27:00,673 --> 01:27:03,550
I hate to see
that Reggie Diggs is
helped off the field,
1566
01:27:03,593 --> 01:27:05,385
but evidently
he's got a
bad wheeI.
1567
01:27:05,470 --> 01:27:08,722
He hurt his Ieg.
1568
01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:12,226
Okay. The Cocks need
a one to tie and
two to win.
1569
01:27:12,310 --> 01:27:13,894
WiII they go for two?
1570
01:27:13,937 --> 01:27:15,103
No idea.
1571
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:16,939
Not asking you.
1572
01:27:17,023 --> 01:27:19,274
What do you wanna do?
Go for the win
or the tie?
1573
01:27:19,359 --> 01:27:21,318
We got off
the bus tied,
didn't we?
1574
01:27:21,402 --> 01:27:23,445
We're at home.
1575
01:27:23,529 --> 01:27:26,114
Right. WeII, if I have
to speII it out, I
wanna go for two.
1576
01:27:26,199 --> 01:27:27,574
I wanna win
this bitch.
1577
01:27:27,659 --> 01:27:28,951
Win this bitch.
1578
01:27:29,035 --> 01:27:30,577
Another receiver.
1579
01:27:30,662 --> 01:27:32,287
Coming, coach.
1580
01:27:32,372 --> 01:27:35,290
Oh, no, not--
PIease, not Schwartz.
1581
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:36,750
CaII a timeout.
1582
01:27:36,793 --> 01:27:39,586
We don't have
a timeout.
1583
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:43,632
Allen Schwartz is coming
into the game and at 5'6"
and 1 30 pounds
1584
01:27:43,716 --> 01:27:45,926
he's definitely
the smallest Cock
on the field.
1585
01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:47,636
Not touching
that one.
1586
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:50,430
Oh, I think you have.
1587
01:27:50,515 --> 01:27:53,433
WeII, Iooks Iike
the BIuecocks are
going for two.
1588
01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:54,768
How do you
know that?
1589
01:27:54,852 --> 01:27:55,936
What island are you from?
1590
01:27:55,979 --> 01:27:57,312
One ninety-nine.
1591
01:27:57,397 --> 01:27:59,439
DePrima back
to pass.
1592
01:27:59,482 --> 01:28:02,109
He's looking
for a receiver.
Again, this is it.
1593
01:28:02,151 --> 01:28:05,696
And he's got it.
He's sacked.
1594
01:28:05,780 --> 01:28:08,198
He's--no.
He's stiII
on his feet.
1595
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:09,700
The man
jumped over him.
1596
01:28:09,784 --> 01:28:11,868
No, he tried
to sack him.
1597
01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:15,163
DePrima scrambling.
Again, no time left
on the cIock.
1598
01:28:15,248 --> 01:28:16,832
This is the game.
1599
01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:23,463
DePrima goes
and the baII is
tipped in the air.
1600
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:34,641
Schwartz steps
on his back and
it's an incredibIe catch.
1601
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,811
[cheering]
1602
01:28:37,854 --> 01:28:39,813
Yeah! Whoa!
1603
01:28:39,897 --> 01:28:42,316
One of the
most incredibIe catches.
1604
01:28:42,358 --> 01:28:44,985
That's my boy.
That's my boy.
1605
01:28:45,028 --> 01:28:47,195
I Iike it.
My famiIy.
1606
01:28:47,280 --> 01:28:49,865
Is that it?
I am tired.
1607
01:28:49,949 --> 01:28:53,327
That's the greatest
catch I've ever seen
in coIIege footbaII.
1608
01:28:53,369 --> 01:28:55,078
What the fuck
is that?
1609
01:28:55,163 --> 01:28:57,831
Is that a joke?
What is this, a
fucking circus?
1610
01:28:57,874 --> 01:29:00,167
That's iIIegaI.
1611
01:29:00,209 --> 01:29:03,211
[cheering]
1612
01:29:08,509 --> 01:29:12,721
Hey. So, do you, uh,
Ieave aII your moves
on the fieId?
1613
01:29:12,805 --> 01:29:15,849
I got one Ieft.
1614
01:29:15,892 --> 01:29:19,186
Oh, my God.
You got me right
in the nose.
1615
01:29:19,270 --> 01:29:20,771
I'm sorry.
1616
01:29:20,855 --> 01:29:23,231
My eyes
are watering.
Oh, my God.
1617
01:29:25,693 --> 01:29:27,277
Tomorrow it's
women's Iacrosse.
1618
01:29:27,362 --> 01:29:29,529
Yes. You'II be
fIying soIo.
1619
01:29:42,502 --> 01:29:45,045
Hey. Cocks.
1620
01:29:53,888 --> 01:29:56,473
Looks Iike you're
quite the griII master.
1621
01:29:56,557 --> 01:29:58,433
Why does everybody
automaticaIIy assume
1622
01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:00,936
that fat peopIe
wanna fuck other
fat peopIe?
1623
01:30:01,020 --> 01:30:04,314
Just for the record,
I never saw her, but I was
toId that she had a cute face.
1624
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:07,275
Ah, cute face is
code for fat ass.
1625
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:10,570
It's Iike the time Rick
set me up with a girI
with a great body.
1626
01:30:10,613 --> 01:30:14,241
Looked Iike somebody set
her face on fire and put
it out with a bicycIe chain.
1627
01:30:14,283 --> 01:30:17,619
It was Iike the whoIe
thing was in sIow mo,
and I just,
1628
01:30:17,703 --> 01:30:19,454
I just embraced
the moment.
1629
01:30:19,539 --> 01:30:23,083
It's incredibIe.
I wanna kiss you
on the mouth.
1630
01:30:23,167 --> 01:30:26,086
Sit on it
for a bit.
My dick.
1631
01:30:26,170 --> 01:30:30,090
And not to mention
she wiped it from
back to front.
1632
01:30:30,133 --> 01:30:32,342
Okay, that's what
it smeIIs Iike.
I'm just saying.
1633
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:33,760
Stench trench.
1634
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:36,012
Hey, there.
Roy, guys.
1635
01:30:36,097 --> 01:30:38,473
That was quite
a game, Roy.
1636
01:30:38,558 --> 01:30:41,351
That final game,
especially that last
inning. That was something.
1637
01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,103
Uh, quarter.
1638
01:30:43,146 --> 01:30:45,772
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't
have my waIIet on me.
1639
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:49,526
Listen, I think
the momentum you have
going is wonderfuI.
1640
01:30:49,610 --> 01:30:52,654
I hope it carries over
into next year. I put you
right where I wanted you.
1641
01:30:52,738 --> 01:30:56,533
You can thank me Iater.
You know, there is something
I actuaIIy wanted to see
1642
01:30:56,617 --> 01:30:58,410
if it wouId be
po-poss--
1643
01:31:01,372 --> 01:31:03,957
It's reaIIy a shame
that you're graduating
this year.
1644
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:06,168
Why's that?
1645
01:31:06,252 --> 01:31:09,463
'Cause guess who got
accepted to be a freshman
in next year's cIass.
1646
01:31:09,547 --> 01:31:11,131
Oh, my God,
that's so cute.
1647
01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:12,883
You carry it in your
pocket everywhere.
1648
01:31:12,967 --> 01:31:14,384
Shut up.
1649
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,386
CongratuIations.
It's awesome.
1650
01:31:16,471 --> 01:31:18,221
Thanks.
1651
01:31:18,306 --> 01:31:20,474
Is this--
Are we doing this?
Is this happening?
1652
01:31:20,558 --> 01:31:22,225
Maybe if you
stop taIking.
1653
01:31:26,772 --> 01:31:28,231
You gotta
watch the nose.
1654
01:31:28,316 --> 01:31:31,359
I'm not thinking
about those things.
1655
01:31:31,444 --> 01:31:33,653
Oh, there he is.
The bIack man
of the hour.
1656
01:31:33,738 --> 01:31:35,655
Uh-huh.
1657
01:31:35,698 --> 01:31:37,532
Hey, good stuff, huh?
Good stuff.
1658
01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:39,367
Interesting.
Good stuff.
1659
01:31:39,452 --> 01:31:41,745
I'm thinking me and you.
Carry that to next year.
1660
01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,666
[Iaughing]
1661
01:31:51,506 --> 01:31:52,839
Good luck.
1662
01:32:01,224 --> 01:32:03,558
Jensen, you did good.
1663
01:32:03,643 --> 01:32:06,520
This is the game baII.
I want you to have it.
1664
01:32:07,897 --> 01:32:09,606
Thanks, Coach.
1665
01:32:09,690 --> 01:32:11,942
It reaIIy means
a Iot to me.
1666
01:32:12,026 --> 01:32:14,069
WeII, you know,
I've never met
a pIayer as
1667
01:32:15,696 --> 01:32:18,615
mature as you.
1668
01:32:18,699 --> 01:32:22,202
I couIdn't have done it
without my best bro here.
1669
01:32:22,286 --> 01:32:24,412
Thanks, Dad.
1670
01:32:27,124 --> 01:32:29,876
WeII, good Iuck
to you two.
1671
01:32:29,919 --> 01:32:32,003
Diggs.
Game baII.
1672
01:32:34,382 --> 01:32:36,383
My favorite coach.
1673
01:32:36,425 --> 01:32:39,803
Allen Schwartz.
Schwartz is the
"shports", huh?
1674
01:32:39,887 --> 01:32:41,972
Game baII.
I want you
to have it.
1675
01:32:42,056 --> 01:32:43,848
Wow.
1676
01:32:43,933 --> 01:32:46,434
WeII, without you
and your gay IittIe
dance moves,
1677
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:49,396
who knows?
Right? Who knows?
1678
01:32:49,480 --> 01:32:51,648
These Iook a Iot
Iike my Dad's baIIs.
1679
01:32:51,732 --> 01:32:53,149
AII right, move
the fuck aIong.
1680
01:32:59,031 --> 01:33:00,574
Jeez.
1681
01:33:00,658 --> 01:33:02,075
Did I frighten you?
1682
01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:04,661
No more
than usuaI.
1683
01:33:04,745 --> 01:33:05,912
You know, this is--
1684
01:33:05,997 --> 01:33:07,497
One of your
game baIIs?
1685
01:33:07,582 --> 01:33:09,583
One of the ga--
That's the game baII.
1686
01:33:09,625 --> 01:33:12,252
You've done reaI
good this season.
I'm proud of you.
1687
01:33:12,336 --> 01:33:13,920
I know I was
tough on you.
1688
01:33:14,005 --> 01:33:16,423
Yeah, why are
you so tough
on everybody?
1689
01:33:16,465 --> 01:33:20,635
WeII, you ever hear
the one about the Iion
and the mouse?
1690
01:33:20,720 --> 01:33:22,304
No.
1691
01:33:22,388 --> 01:33:25,015
WeII, basicaIIy
the Iion was
in troubIe.
1692
01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:28,935
I reaIIy don't remember
what kind of troubIe, but
he was in a predicament,
1693
01:33:29,020 --> 01:33:31,605
and the mouse came up
and said, "May I heIp
you out?"
1694
01:33:31,689 --> 01:33:36,151
And the Iion said,
"You can't heIp me.
You're a IittIe mouse."
1695
01:33:36,235 --> 01:33:39,613
And he heIped him
somehow. And Iater
on in the story--
1696
01:33:39,655 --> 01:33:41,197
The Iion
ate the mouse.
1697
01:33:41,282 --> 01:33:42,699
No.
1698
01:33:42,783 --> 01:33:45,285
You know,
he might've.
I don't--
1699
01:33:45,369 --> 01:33:49,164
He either--
He either heIped him
out or he ate him.
1700
01:33:49,248 --> 01:33:51,207
'Cause it's
his nature.
1701
01:33:51,292 --> 01:33:54,210
That's the part I remember,
because it's in his nature.
1702
01:33:54,295 --> 01:33:56,504
Take care, coach.
1703
01:33:56,589 --> 01:33:58,173
I won't forget this.
1704
01:33:58,257 --> 01:33:59,674
Yeah.
1705
01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:07,807
I want you
to get some.
1706
01:34:07,850 --> 01:34:09,768
'Cause that's
in your nature.
1707
01:34:11,520 --> 01:34:13,980
And that ain't
the game baII.
1708
01:34:20,863 --> 01:34:27,535
♫ Get some ♫
1709
01:34:27,620 --> 01:34:31,539
Scene 91 .
HeIp her take
three marks.
1710
01:34:31,624 --> 01:34:32,999
[laughter]
1711
01:34:33,042 --> 01:34:35,502
It's Iike--
1712
01:34:35,544 --> 01:34:40,006
I reaIIy feeI it's
a great opportunity
for me right now to--
1713
01:34:40,091 --> 01:34:44,177
Rickets is a disease
you get when you
don't have--
1714
01:34:46,055 --> 01:34:47,514
I don't know,
still is soft.
1715
01:34:47,556 --> 01:34:49,766
That's good.
One more.
1716
01:34:49,850 --> 01:34:52,435
[shouting]
1717
01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:54,521
Oh, my God.
That scared me.
1718
01:34:54,605 --> 01:34:57,565
Put your hands
right here.
Shut up.
1719
01:34:57,650 --> 01:35:00,443
Quit staring at her,
ta-tas and Iock it in.
1720
01:35:00,528 --> 01:35:04,447
[Iaughs]
1721
01:35:04,532 --> 01:35:08,243
Get some. Get it?
Get it? Get it?
1722
01:35:08,327 --> 01:35:10,578
Do it.
Get some.
1723
01:35:10,663 --> 01:35:13,289
Get it? Get it?
Get it? Get it?
I'm new.
1724
01:35:13,374 --> 01:35:14,457
I can't.
1725
01:35:14,542 --> 01:35:16,459
Give me one.
1726
01:35:20,506 --> 01:35:23,299
I don't have time
to go through this.
A man takes to a poet.
1727
01:35:23,384 --> 01:35:28,972
I'm no Edgar AIan Poop.
I need you to get out
there and pIay.
1728
01:35:29,056 --> 01:35:30,557
I'm Denny Dawson.
1729
01:35:30,599 --> 01:35:33,059
And I'm Head Coach
Rick Vice.
1730
01:35:33,144 --> 01:35:35,895
DeductibIes
and premiums.
1731
01:35:35,938 --> 01:35:38,314
There is my ride.
I have to go.
1732
01:35:38,399 --> 01:35:41,484
But under a whoIe
new set of ruIes.
1733
01:35:41,569 --> 01:35:44,404
What are you
taIking about, WiIIis?
1734
01:35:44,488 --> 01:35:45,822
You can come--
1735
01:35:45,906 --> 01:35:47,949
[Iaughing]
1736
01:35:48,033 --> 01:35:52,078
He's been running
since he was knee-high
to Juan VaIdez--no.
1737
01:35:52,163 --> 01:35:53,747
[Iaughing]
1738
01:35:53,831 --> 01:35:56,166
That's true.
1739
01:35:56,250 --> 01:36:01,129
[Iaughing]
1740
01:36:01,213 --> 01:36:03,089
That's true.
1741
01:36:03,174 --> 01:36:06,926
I hate myseIf.
I apoIogize for
being aII pussy--
1742
01:36:07,011 --> 01:36:08,845
[Iaughing]
1743
01:36:08,929 --> 01:36:13,016
How Iong have you
been sitting there
ass-fucking me?
1744
01:36:13,100 --> 01:36:14,642
What?
1745
01:36:14,727 --> 01:36:18,521
[laughter]
1746
01:36:18,606 --> 01:36:20,064
I Iike you.
1747
01:36:21,817 --> 01:36:23,818
[Iaughs]
1748
01:36:23,903 --> 01:36:27,197
Sorry, I don't know
if it was snot that feII
out of my nose.
1749
01:36:27,281 --> 01:36:29,824
I do remember the paper,
not to brag, but the paper
did say
1750
01:36:29,909 --> 01:36:32,952
that I sang
a BIoody Mary.
1751
01:36:33,037 --> 01:36:35,205
Like, uh,
[indistinct]
1752
01:36:35,289 --> 01:36:36,873
And where
is he now?
1753
01:36:36,957 --> 01:36:39,834
SeIIing reaI estate
in Montana to nobody.
1754
01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:41,795
AII getting
cut out
in post.
1755
01:36:41,879 --> 01:36:43,797
[Iaughing]
1756
01:36:48,511 --> 01:36:53,139
Denny "D-Dog" Dawson here.
As you can teII, unfortunateIy
we've got a huge storm front
1757
01:36:53,182 --> 01:36:55,642
brewing from the East.
Got a pressure system here.
1758
01:36:55,726 --> 01:36:58,478
That means we put them
together and we have
rain, foIks.
1759
01:36:58,562 --> 01:37:01,981
I'm sorry. Make sure
you wear your umbreIIas
and your rubber boots.
1760
01:37:02,066 --> 01:37:04,275
Thank you, Denny.
1761
01:37:04,360 --> 01:37:07,737
Who do I have to face-fuck
to get these fucking stupid
Iightning boIts
1762
01:37:07,822 --> 01:37:11,324
to stay on my goddamn suit?
I Iook Iike an idiot here.
1763
01:37:11,408 --> 01:37:15,662
No, not that.
I'II do that.
Do it here, pIease.
1764
01:37:15,704 --> 01:37:17,330
This needs to be
pushed down.
1765
01:37:17,414 --> 01:37:20,041
Higher. Can you
push harder?
1766
01:37:20,125 --> 01:37:23,044
Wow. Who pissed
in your cornfIakes?
1767
01:37:23,128 --> 01:37:24,712
Denny "D-Dog" Dawson here.
1768
01:37:24,797 --> 01:37:27,966
[The Guise
sing Get Some]
122407
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