All language subtitles for The Muppet Show S03E16 Guest Danny Kaye 1080p DSNP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-LAZY_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:01,710 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 2 00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:05,505 Danny Kaye. Twenty seconds to curtain, Mr. Kaye. 3 00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,801 Now there's a real pro. 4 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,929 Most performers are a nervous wreck before the curtain. 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,015 He takes a nap. 6 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,350 Danny? 7 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,185 Yeah, yeah, Scooter. 8 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,396 -Hi. -Fifteen seconds to curtain. 9 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,649 Oh, that's fine. Fifteen seconds until curtain. 10 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:29,195 [STAMMERING] Fifteen seconds until curtain? 11 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,698 I better get my makeup on. 12 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,034 Fifteen seconds to curtain! 13 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,920 ♪ Oh, take me through ♪ 14 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,893 I wonder if that's how he took his first nap. 15 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:06,441 It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Danny Kaye! 16 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,693 Yeah! 17 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,945 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 18 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,125 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 19 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,211 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 20 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:29,673 ♪ It's time to meet the Muppets On The Muppet Show tonight ♪ 21 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,634 ♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪ 22 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,844 ♪ It's time to dress up right ♪ 23 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,888 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 24 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,265 ♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪ 25 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:48,066 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 26 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,276 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 27 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,113 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 28 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:56,449 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 29 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,035 [REFEREE'S WHISTLE BLOWS] 30 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,912 [CROWD CHEERING] 31 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,086 Thank you, thank you. 32 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,547 Hi there, and welcome again to The Muppet Show. 33 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:14,009 We have a sensational show for you because our special guest star 34 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,970 is one of our favorite people, Mr. Danny Kaye. 35 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,973 But first, would you believe this? 36 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:30,108 ♪ When the moon is in the Seventh House ♪ 37 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:34,362 ♪ And Jupiter aligns with Mars ♪ 38 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:39,075 ♪ Then peace will guide the planet ♪ 39 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,578 ♪ And love will fill the stars ♪ 40 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,957 ♪ This is the dawning Of the Age of Aquarius ♪ 41 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:50,295 ♪ The Age of Aquarius ♪ 42 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:54,758 ♪ Aquarius ♪ 43 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,762 ♪ Aquarius ♪ 44 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:04,059 ♪ Let the sun shine ♪ 45 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,979 ♪ Let the sun shine in ♪ 46 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:12,359 ♪ The sun shine in ♪ 47 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,320 ♪ Let the sun shine ♪ 48 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,489 -♪ Let the sun shine ♪ -Watch out! 49 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,657 ♪ The sun shine in ♪ 50 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,743 ♪ Let the sun shine ♪ 51 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:25,455 I got my hair in my face. I can't let the sun shine in. 52 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,458 I can't see nothing. You know where the barber shop is? 53 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:31,252 Has anybody got some clippers? 54 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,216 KERMIT: Hey, any sign of Statler and Waldorf? 55 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,844 No. It looks like they split for good. 56 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,055 Maybe they didn't like the acoustics. 57 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,184 -Why? Can't you hear what's said onstage? -Every word. 58 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,275 -What are you doing, Scooter? -Looking for Statler and Waldorf. 59 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,985 They're missing. 60 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,196 Hey. Hey, there they are. 61 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:03,618 Well, I tell you, it's almost as bad out here as it is inside. 62 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:08,289 Yes. Either way we're sitting around looking at garbage. 63 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,501 Still, I'd rather be here for this show. 64 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,337 Yeah. The Muppets are always about the same. 65 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,048 But this week's guest star... Ooh. 66 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,010 -What's-his-face Kaye. -Yeah. Ew. 67 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,762 I tell you, he is the worst performer on earth. 68 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,849 -You can't be certain. -I am so. 69 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,518 He's not the worst performer on earth. 70 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,145 Well, then who is? 71 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,772 Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant. 72 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,734 Yeah, yeah, you're right. He is pretty bad. 73 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,821 What an act. He sings the whole Pest Control Code in the key of F. 74 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:43,616 Mm. And he sings it again because he has to do everything in duplicate. 75 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,955 But what's-his-face Kaye is a little worse. 76 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,791 Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah. 77 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,669 WALDORF: Wouldn't cross the street to see that guy. 78 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,004 [WALDORF & STATLER LAUGHING] 79 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,214 Hey, Danny, how's everything? 80 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,009 I think I need a little cheering up. 81 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,635 You should have been inside. 82 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:06,014 Some guy named Clive Cahuenga was knocking them dead. 83 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,270 And now, it's lunchtime. 84 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,440 [BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC] 85 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,467 [TAPPING] 86 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,604 [SHOUTING] 87 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,858 Whoa! Whoa! 88 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:51,995 [BURPS] 89 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,335 Every show Statler and Waldorf sit up here. 90 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:02,088 Show after show after show. 91 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,965 Now I see why. 92 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,550 You see why they come? 93 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,011 No, I see why they left. 94 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,767 [PIGGY CLEARS THROAT] 95 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,770 [SINGS HIGH NOTE, THEN CLEARS THROAT] 96 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,025 Rowlfy, Rowlfy, that's too high. 97 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,611 Oh, okay. Try this one. 98 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,574 ♪ Heaven ♪ 99 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,701 [HUMMING] 100 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,623 That's good, Rowlf. That's very nice. 101 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,291 What key is that? 102 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,211 That's the little black one under my finger. 103 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:47,425 Rowlfy, Rowlfy. Now, now, we must do this absolutely right. 104 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:51,346 Mr. Danny Kaye has asked especially 105 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,307 to sing this song avec moi. 106 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,600 Miss Piggy? 107 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,603 Miss Piggy. Well, well, well. 108 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:02,065 -Hello, Miss Piggy. How are you? -Mr. Kaye. Can I call you Danny? 109 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,401 I couldn't wait to get here to work with you 110 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,278 because I have wanted to do this for a very long time. 111 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:11,658 -Daniel. I wanted to do it with you. -No, I wanted to do it with you. 112 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,120 -No, I wanted... Oh, Danny. -No, you, you. Oh! 113 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,706 -Tell me... -Yes? 114 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:23,837 Why is it that vous wanted to do this particular song avec moi? 115 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,340 There's a very good reason for that. You see, Piggy, dear, 116 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,760 I heard you sing this song once before. 117 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,472 Thank you. Oh, that's nice. 118 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,683 Some time ago I heard you sing this song 119 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:42,856 and I thought the way you did it was absolutely memorable. 120 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,067 That's funny. I don't remember that. 121 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,822 Oh, well, that was years and years and years ago. 122 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,824 Oh? 123 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,495 I think I said something wrong. 124 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:02,542 What I meant was, way back when you were thin. 125 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,588 [PIGGY CLEARS THROAT] 126 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,215 I see. Ha, ha. 127 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,551 Way back then, huh? 128 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,387 When, uh, you had your nose done. 129 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,183 Oh, yes, I had it made a little larger. 130 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,476 [BOTH LAUGH] 131 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,270 Listen, are you guys gonna rehearse this song? 132 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,938 -We're gonna do it. -All right. 133 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,859 Piggy, why don't you practice the song and I'll go and change my clothes. 134 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,987 -Oh, Daniel dear. -Oh, yes? 135 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:35,283 Yes, a true professional doesn't need to rehearse. 136 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:40,580 Well, in that case, I shall go and practice changing my clothes. 137 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,123 [PIGGY GROWLING] 138 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,127 Stand by for "Cheek to Cheek." 139 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,088 -Yeah, we're going. -Oh, oh, yes. 140 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,339 I'll see you on the... 141 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,715 Battlefield. 142 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,134 You're beautiful when you're angry. 143 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,594 [PIGGY GRUMBLES] 144 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,557 Years and years ago when you were thin, huh? 145 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,353 Hi-yah! 146 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,610 Okay, "Cheek to Cheek" is up next, "Cheek to Cheek." 147 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,238 Right. Beauregard, get the scenery in. 148 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,615 We're on in a minute. Let's go, Piggy. 149 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,784 I'll be there. 150 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,121 -Not so fast. Whoa, whoa! -Watch it, Beau! 151 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,541 -Okay, right onstage with that, guys. -Yes, sir, yes, sir. 152 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,626 Uh, Nigel. Ugh! 153 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,670 SCOOTER: The scenery's ready. 154 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,505 You guys all set? 155 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,424 [PIGGY AND DANNY ARGUING] 156 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,758 Uh... 157 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:37,971 And now, a timeless romantic duet, uh... 158 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:42,100 sung by two dear friends, I dearly hope. 159 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,270 Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy and Danny Kaye! 160 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,564 [ARGUING] 161 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,947 [PIGGY CHUCKLES] 162 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,576 ♪ Heaven ♪ 163 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,578 ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ 164 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:07,167 ♪ And my heart beats so That I can hardly speak ♪ 165 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:11,421 ♪ And I seem to find The happiness I seek ♪ 166 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,842 ♪ When we're out together dancing Cheek to cheek ♪ 167 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:16,968 Oh! 168 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,096 I'm so sorry. Excusez-moi. 169 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,931 Well, that's all right, toi. 170 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,435 I just misjudged the size of your snout. 171 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,895 [PIGGY GROWLS] 172 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,898 ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ 173 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:34,778 ♪ And the cares that hang around me Through the week ♪ 174 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:39,657 ♪ Seem to vanish Like a gambler's lucky streak ♪ 175 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:43,870 ♪ When we're out together dancing Cheek to cheek ♪ 176 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,665 ♪ Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain ♪ 177 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,834 ♪ And to reach the highest peak ♪ 178 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:55,298 ♪ But it doesn't thrill me half as much As dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 179 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,801 ♪ Oh, I'd love to go out fishing ♪ 180 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,011 ♪ In a river or a creek ♪ 181 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:05,058 ♪ But I don't enjoy it half as much As dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 182 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,811 ♪ Dance with me ♪ 183 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,438 ♪ I want my arms about you ♪ 184 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,525 -♪ The charms about you ♪ -Let me go. 185 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,152 ♪ Will carry me through ♪ 186 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,072 ♪ Heaven, I'm in heaven ♪ 187 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,407 Danny. 188 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:25,161 ♪ And my heart beats so That I can hardly speak ♪ 189 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:29,582 ♪ And I seem to find The happiness I seek ♪ 190 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,170 ♪ When we're out together dancing Cheek to cheek ♪ 191 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,296 Oh. 192 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,841 ♪ Oh, dance with me ♪ 193 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,135 ♪ I want my arms about you ♪ 194 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,303 -Piggy, be careful. -♪ The charms about you ♪ 195 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,430 Piggy. 196 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,348 ♪ Will carry me through ♪ 197 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,474 Oh, Piggy. 198 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,976 ♪ To heaven ♪ 199 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,936 -Oh, Danny. -Yes? 200 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:55,025 Singing and dancing with vous has taken away all my anger. 201 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,652 That's absolutely true, toi. 202 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,571 And I want you to know, Miss Piggy, 203 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:03,158 I'm terribly sorry that I said I knew you when you were thin. 204 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:06,536 -Oh, Danny, that's all right. -Thank you. 205 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,917 I never knew you when you were thin. 206 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:19,591 ♪ And I ♪ 207 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,385 ♪ Seem to find ♪ 208 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,931 ♪ The happiness I seek ♪ 209 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:31,144 -♪ When we're out together ♪ -♪ Out together ♪ 210 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,730 -♪ Out together ♪ -♪ Out together ♪ 211 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,232 ♪ Out together dancing ♪ 212 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:42,655 ♪ Cheek to cheek ♪ 213 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,165 Now, then, most of you probably didn't know 214 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,250 that the Swedish Chef had an uncle. 215 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,586 Uh, and neither did we until he just showed up. 216 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,381 Ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish Chef and his uncle. 217 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,636 [BOTH SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 218 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,893 BOTH: ♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪ 219 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104 [UTENSILS CLATTERING] 220 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,648 [BOTH SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 221 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:21,236 Oh, oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our evening today. 222 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:25,573 We have this evening an international cooking festival 223 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,536 und we will prepare something which my nephew, the Swedish Chef, 224 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,789 will talk to you in just one minute. 225 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,876 Yeah. Yeah, that's his name. 226 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,170 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 227 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,677 But we call him Tom. 228 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,346 That's very good. 229 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:51,433 All right, now you understand, of course, Tom... 230 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,685 You understand what we are doing tonight. 231 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,730 We are taking an international dish. 232 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,566 We will take a Swiss turkey, 233 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,527 und we stuff him with Chinese ingredients, 234 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,238 and make a Yugoslavian chicken out of him. 235 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,491 No, no, no. No Yugoslavian. 236 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,661 -Me Swedish. -I know you are Swedish. 237 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,748 We are just only talking about the turkey, which we-- 238 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,584 -No, no. Me not turkey. Swedish. -I know you're not a turkey! 239 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,087 We are trying to make an international dish, you understand me? 240 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,547 Uh... no. 241 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,424 Oh. All right. In that case... 242 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,384 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 243 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,136 Oh, ja, ja. 244 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,513 -So we need a turkey now. -The turkey. 245 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,724 -I get the turkey. -We will have a turkey. 246 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,101 I go and get the turkey. 247 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,771 Are you crazy? You're bringing a live turkey here? 248 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,731 We're supposed to cook it. 249 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:40,857 [GOBBLING] 250 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,445 How can you... with a live turkey...? What's the matter with you? 251 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,280 This turkey, we can't... 252 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,407 It's a nice turkey, but we can't do it. 253 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,826 First of all, we have to pluck all the feathers. 254 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,036 [GOBBLING] 255 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,080 It's okay. Don't be nervous. 256 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:59,709 After we pluck all the feathers, then we have to take out from him the gizzards. 257 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,756 You bring the live turkey. 258 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,259 After we take the live turkey we will do something with him. 259 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:12,597 We will open up the turkey, and we will stuff him with chop suey. 260 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,100 Oh, yeah, chop turkey. 261 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,102 [CHEF LAUGHING, TURKEY GOBBLING] 262 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,857 There goes turkey bird. 263 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,656 Let me have this here. 264 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,242 I will shoot the blunderfuss in here. 265 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,370 One, two, und a boom. 266 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,209 -There we are. -Oh! 267 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,713 Already prepared to put in your freezer. 268 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,220 Okay, well, now, ladies and gentlemen, 269 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,097 the Flying Zucchini Brothers 270 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,308 will hurl themselves from a height of 200 feet 271 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768 into a water-filled bucket. 272 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,979 -Are you ready back there? ZUCCHINI: We're ready. 273 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,647 The Flying Zucchinis! 274 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,441 [CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING] 275 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,444 Hey, who left my bucket on the floor? 276 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,987 Hey, don't move that bucket. 277 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,573 -[CRASHING] -Don't! Beauregard! 278 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,491 Beauregard! 279 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:21,624 Oh, wow. Look, there's a bag full of fruits and vegetables up here. 280 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:26,338 Hmm. Perchance Statler and Waldorf were thinking of throwing a party. 281 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,673 This much fruit won't go very far. 282 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:32,886 Well, they only wanted to throw it as far as the stage. 283 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:34,471 For sure. 284 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,849 -Hey, Kermit, how are you? -Danny, I'm fine, thank you. 285 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,142 You're fine, thank you? 286 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,520 -Are you making fun of the way I talk? -I love the way you talk. 287 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,646 Oh, okay. 288 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,067 I love the way you talk so much that I begin to talk like you. 289 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,735 That sounds very good. 290 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,197 I was wondering if I could talk you into doing one more song with us. 291 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,574 You wouldn't have to talk too much, Kermit. 292 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,534 I'd love to do another song for you. 293 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,621 But I tell you what. Instead of doing it on the stage, 294 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,791 why don't we do it back here, you see? 295 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,502 So, it's a song for just friends. 296 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,672 Oh. Well, yeah, but, uh... But... But what...? 297 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,006 There's nothing onstage. 298 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,384 [MIMICKING KERMIT] Yeah, but... There's nothing on... 299 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,136 Well, why don't we get something onstage? 300 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,930 I could go on. 301 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:20,642 That's Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant. 302 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,268 I know, Fozz, I know. 303 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854 Clive, I've got a job for you. 304 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,940 Oh, great, but I should change to-- 305 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,484 -Well, all right. -Come right this way. 306 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,488 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, for tonight's big finale, 307 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,532 The Muppet Show proudly presents: 308 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,868 Clive Cahuenga, singing to the music of Mozart, 309 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:42,455 the Municipal Vermin Abatement Code. 310 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,463 ♪ Section one, rats ♪ 311 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:52,424 ♪ Subheading, infestation ♪ 312 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,677 ♪ Rodent populations in an urban area ♪ 313 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,388 -Hey. -Uh, now, where were we? 314 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,223 Where were we where? 315 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:04,352 Oh, you were gonna talk about the song that you were gonna do back here. 316 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:07,147 I've got a great idea, Kermit. 317 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,443 Why don't we do a song we did in a movie called Hans Christian Andersen? 318 00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,570 It's called "Inchworm." 319 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,447 Oh, "Inchworm." We know that song. 320 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,573 -You do? -Oh, sure. 321 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,700 -We could all sing it. -Of course. 322 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,785 Anybody here sing close harmony? 323 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,704 Well, no, but a near miss. 324 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,831 Here we go. 325 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:29,461 ♪ Two and two are four ♪ 326 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:33,840 ♪ Four and four are eight ♪ 327 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,216 That's pretty. 328 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,845 ♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪ 329 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,096 Very nice. 330 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:44,851 -♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪ -Very good. 331 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:50,273 -♪ Two and two are four ♪ -♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪ 332 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:55,320 -♪ Four and four are eight ♪ -♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪ 333 00:19:55,403 --> 00:20:00,367 -♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪ -♪ You and your arithmetic ♪ 334 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:05,622 -♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪ -♪ You'll probably go far ♪ 335 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:10,835 -♪ Two and two are four ♪ -♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪ 336 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:15,924 -♪ Four and four are eight ♪ -♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪ 337 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:20,804 -♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪ -♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪ 338 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:26,518 -♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪ -♪ How beautiful they are ♪ 339 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,481 Well, look what we have here. 340 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,150 Come on, up on my hand. 341 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,070 Up, up, up. 342 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,323 Pick your head up and look around. 343 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,908 Way up. 344 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,203 Oh, look, isn't that pretty? 345 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:51,876 ♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪ 346 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:57,173 ♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪ 347 00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,886 ♪ You and your arithmetic ♪ 348 00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:06,474 ♪ You'll probably go far ♪ 349 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:13,064 -♪ Two and two are four ♪ -♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪ 350 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:18,528 -♪ Four and four are eight ♪ -♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪ 351 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:23,408 -♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪ -♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪ 352 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:28,872 -♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪ -♪ How beautiful they are ♪ 353 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:34,044 ♪ Two and two are four ♪ 354 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:38,965 ♪ Four and four are eight ♪ 355 00:21:39,049 --> 00:21:44,387 -♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪ -♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪ 356 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:51,770 -♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪ -♪ How beautiful they are ♪ 357 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:58,318 ♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪ 358 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:02,739 ♪ How beautiful ♪ 359 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:08,828 ♪ They are ♪ 360 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,802 I've got to feed the parking meter, Scooter. 361 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,762 I'll be back in just a few minutes. 362 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:29,140 Well, I wonder if that Kaye has done his act yet. 363 00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:31,393 Thank goodness we're not there to know. 364 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,937 Imagine, a tuned clam player. 365 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,357 Mm. I hate that Manny Kaye. Ugh! 366 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,400 "Manny" Kaye? 367 00:22:39,651 --> 00:22:42,487 -Why, it's Danny Kaye. -Sure. 368 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:46,866 -You're one of our favorites. -Oh, better than a tuned clam player? 369 00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:50,704 Of course. Now I wish we had seen the show. 370 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,915 SCOOTER: Onstage for the closing, Mr. Kaye. 371 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:55,208 I'll be right with you. 372 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,835 Don't be late. 373 00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,587 We've done it again, folks. 374 00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:02,507 It's been particularly sad to come to the end of this one 375 00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:07,595 because our guest star has been the one and only, Mr. Danny Kaye. Yeah! 376 00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:12,392 Thank you. 377 00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:15,061 Kermit, do you mind if I bring some friends along? 378 00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:17,063 -What? -Eh? Come on in, fellas. 379 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,648 Here we go. 380 00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,984 Are you kidding? They're part of the family. 381 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,319 Be with us next time when our guest will be 382 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,530 one of the world's greatest tuned clam players. 383 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:27,615 Kermit, just say good night. 384 00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:30,201 Aah! A clam player! 385 00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:33,121 We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! 386 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:36,624 -It was great to have you, Danny. -Oh, thank you, Kermit. 387 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:38,626 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 388 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:13,703 There was something thrilling about being in the show tonight. 389 00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:16,831 Yep. Not having to watch it. 29578

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.