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1
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[KNOCK ON DOOR]
2
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:05,505
Danny Kaye.
Twenty seconds to curtain, Mr. Kaye.
3
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,801
Now there's a real pro.
4
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,929
Most performers are a nervous wreck
before the curtain.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,015
He takes a nap.
6
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,350
Danny?
7
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,185
Yeah, yeah, Scooter.
8
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,396
-Hi.
-Fifteen seconds to curtain.
9
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,649
Oh, that's fine.
Fifteen seconds until curtain.
10
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:29,195
[STAMMERING]
Fifteen seconds until curtain?
11
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,698
I better get my makeup on.
12
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,034
Fifteen seconds to curtain!
13
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,920
♪ Oh, take me through ♪
14
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,893
I wonder if that's how
he took his first nap.
15
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:06,441
It's The Muppet Show, with our
very special guest star, Danny Kaye!
16
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,693
Yeah!
17
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,945
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
18
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,125
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
19
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,211
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
20
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:29,673
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
21
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,634
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
22
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,844
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
23
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,888
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
24
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,265
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
25
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:48,066
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
26
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,276
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
27
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,113
♪ This is what we call ♪
28
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:56,449
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
29
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,035
[REFEREE'S WHISTLE BLOWS]
30
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[CROWD CHEERING]
31
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,086
Thank you, thank you.
32
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,547
Hi there, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
33
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:14,009
We have a sensational show for you
because our special guest star
34
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,970
is one of our favorite people,
Mr. Danny Kaye.
35
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,973
But first, would you believe this?
36
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:30,108
♪ When the moon is in the Seventh House ♪
37
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:34,362
♪ And Jupiter aligns with Mars ♪
38
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:39,075
♪ Then peace will guide the planet ♪
39
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,578
♪ And love will fill the stars ♪
40
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,957
♪ This is the dawning
Of the Age of Aquarius ♪
41
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:50,295
♪ The Age of Aquarius ♪
42
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:54,758
♪ Aquarius ♪
43
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,762
♪ Aquarius ♪
44
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:04,059
♪ Let the sun shine ♪
45
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,979
♪ Let the sun shine in ♪
46
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♪ The sun shine in ♪
47
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,320
♪ Let the sun shine ♪
48
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,489
-♪ Let the sun shine ♪
-Watch out!
49
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,657
♪ The sun shine in ♪
50
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,743
♪ Let the sun shine ♪
51
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:25,455
I got my hair in my face.
I can't let the sun shine in.
52
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,458
I can't see nothing.
You know where the barber shop is?
53
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:31,252
Has anybody got some clippers?
54
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,216
KERMIT: Hey, any sign
of Statler and Waldorf?
55
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,844
No. It looks like they split for good.
56
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,055
Maybe they didn't like the acoustics.
57
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,184
-Why? Can't you hear what's said onstage?
-Every word.
58
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,275
-What are you doing, Scooter?
-Looking for Statler and Waldorf.
59
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,985
They're missing.
60
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,196
Hey. Hey, there they are.
61
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:03,618
Well, I tell you, it's almost as bad
out here as it is inside.
62
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:08,289
Yes. Either way we're sitting around
looking at garbage.
63
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,501
Still, I'd rather be here for this show.
64
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,337
Yeah. The Muppets are always
about the same.
65
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,048
But this week's guest star... Ooh.
66
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,010
-What's-his-face Kaye.
-Yeah. Ew.
67
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,762
I tell you,
he is the worst performer on earth.
68
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,849
-You can't be certain.
-I am so.
69
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,518
He's not the worst performer on earth.
70
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,145
Well, then who is?
71
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,772
Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant.
72
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,734
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
He is pretty bad.
73
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,821
What an act. He sings the whole
Pest Control Code in the key of F.
74
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:43,616
Mm. And he sings it again because
he has to do everything in duplicate.
75
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,955
But what's-his-face Kaye
is a little worse.
76
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,791
Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah.
77
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,669
WALDORF:
Wouldn't cross the street to see that guy.
78
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,004
[WALDORF & STATLER LAUGHING]
79
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,214
Hey, Danny, how's everything?
80
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,009
I think I need a little cheering up.
81
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,635
You should have been inside.
82
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:06,014
Some guy named Clive Cahuenga
was knocking them dead.
83
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,270
And now, it's lunchtime.
84
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,440
[BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC]
85
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[TAPPING]
86
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,604
[SHOUTING]
87
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Whoa! Whoa!
88
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:51,995
[BURPS]
89
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,335
Every show
Statler and Waldorf sit up here.
90
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:02,088
Show after show after show.
91
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,965
Now I see why.
92
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,550
You see why they come?
93
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,011
No, I see why they left.
94
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,767
[PIGGY CLEARS THROAT]
95
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,770
[SINGS HIGH NOTE, THEN CLEARS THROAT]
96
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,025
Rowlfy, Rowlfy, that's too high.
97
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,611
Oh, okay. Try this one.
98
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,574
♪ Heaven ♪
99
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,701
[HUMMING]
100
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,623
That's good, Rowlf. That's very nice.
101
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,291
What key is that?
102
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,211
That's the little black one
under my finger.
103
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:47,425
Rowlfy, Rowlfy. Now, now,
we must do this absolutely right.
104
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:51,346
Mr. Danny Kaye has asked especially
105
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,307
to sing this song avec moi.
106
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,600
Miss Piggy?
107
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,603
Miss Piggy. Well, well, well.
108
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:02,065
-Hello, Miss Piggy. How are you?
-Mr. Kaye. Can I call you Danny?
109
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,401
I couldn't wait to get here
to work with you
110
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,278
because I have wanted to do this
for a very long time.
111
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:11,658
-Daniel. I wanted to do it with you.
-No, I wanted to do it with you.
112
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,120
-No, I wanted... Oh, Danny.
-No, you, you. Oh!
113
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,706
-Tell me...
-Yes?
114
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:23,837
Why is it that vous wanted to do
this particular song avec moi?
115
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,340
There's a very good reason for that.
You see, Piggy, dear,
116
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,760
I heard you sing this song once before.
117
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,472
Thank you. Oh, that's nice.
118
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,683
Some time ago I heard you sing this song
119
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:42,856
and I thought the way you did it
was absolutely memorable.
120
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,067
That's funny. I don't remember that.
121
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,822
Oh, well, that was years
and years and years ago.
122
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,824
Oh?
123
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,495
I think I said something wrong.
124
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:02,542
What I meant was,
way back when you were thin.
125
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,588
[PIGGY CLEARS THROAT]
126
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,215
I see. Ha, ha.
127
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,551
Way back then, huh?
128
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,387
When, uh, you had your nose done.
129
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,183
Oh, yes, I had it made a little larger.
130
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,476
[BOTH LAUGH]
131
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,270
Listen, are you guys
gonna rehearse this song?
132
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,938
-We're gonna do it.
-All right.
133
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,859
Piggy, why don't you practice the song
and I'll go and change my clothes.
134
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,987
-Oh, Daniel dear.
-Oh, yes?
135
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:35,283
Yes, a true professional
doesn't need to rehearse.
136
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:40,580
Well, in that case, I shall go
and practice changing my clothes.
137
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,123
[PIGGY GROWLING]
138
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,127
Stand by for "Cheek to Cheek."
139
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,088
-Yeah, we're going.
-Oh, oh, yes.
140
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,339
I'll see you on the...
141
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,715
Battlefield.
142
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,134
You're beautiful when you're angry.
143
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,594
[PIGGY GRUMBLES]
144
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,557
Years and years ago
when you were thin, huh?
145
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,353
Hi-yah!
146
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,610
Okay, "Cheek to Cheek" is up next,
"Cheek to Cheek."
147
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,238
Right. Beauregard, get the scenery in.
148
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,615
We're on in a minute. Let's go, Piggy.
149
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,784
I'll be there.
150
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,121
-Not so fast. Whoa, whoa!
-Watch it, Beau!
151
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,541
-Okay, right onstage with that, guys.
-Yes, sir, yes, sir.
152
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,626
Uh, Nigel. Ugh!
153
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,670
SCOOTER:
The scenery's ready.
154
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,505
You guys all set?
155
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,424
[PIGGY AND DANNY ARGUING]
156
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,758
Uh...
157
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:37,971
And now, a timeless romantic duet, uh...
158
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:42,100
sung by two dear friends, I dearly hope.
159
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,270
Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Piggy and Danny Kaye!
160
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,564
[ARGUING]
161
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,947
[PIGGY CHUCKLES]
162
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,576
♪ Heaven ♪
163
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,578
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
164
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:07,167
♪ And my heart beats so
That I can hardly speak ♪
165
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:11,421
♪ And I seem to find
The happiness I seek ♪
166
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,842
♪ When we're out together dancing
Cheek to cheek ♪
167
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:16,968
Oh!
168
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,096
I'm so sorry. Excusez-moi.
169
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,931
Well, that's all right, toi.
170
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,435
I just misjudged the size of your snout.
171
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,895
[PIGGY GROWLS]
172
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,898
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
173
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:34,778
♪ And the cares that hang around me
Through the week ♪
174
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:39,657
♪ Seem to vanish
Like a gambler's lucky streak ♪
175
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:43,870
♪ When we're out together dancing
Cheek to cheek ♪
176
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,665
♪ Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain ♪
177
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,834
♪ And to reach the highest peak ♪
178
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:55,298
♪ But it doesn't thrill me half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek ♪
179
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,801
♪ Oh, I'd love to go out fishing ♪
180
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,011
♪ In a river or a creek ♪
181
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:05,058
♪ But I don't enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek ♪
182
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,811
♪ Dance with me ♪
183
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,438
♪ I want my arms about you ♪
184
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,525
-♪ The charms about you ♪
-Let me go.
185
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,152
♪ Will carry me through ♪
186
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,072
♪ Heaven, I'm in heaven ♪
187
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,407
Danny.
188
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:25,161
♪ And my heart beats so
That I can hardly speak ♪
189
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:29,582
♪ And I seem to find
The happiness I seek ♪
190
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,170
♪ When we're out together dancing
Cheek to cheek ♪
191
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,296
Oh.
192
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,841
♪ Oh, dance with me ♪
193
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,135
♪ I want my arms about you ♪
194
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,303
-Piggy, be careful.
-♪ The charms about you ♪
195
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,430
Piggy.
196
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,348
♪ Will carry me through ♪
197
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,474
Oh, Piggy.
198
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,976
♪ To heaven ♪
199
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,936
-Oh, Danny.
-Yes?
200
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:55,025
Singing and dancing with vous
has taken away all my anger.
201
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,652
That's absolutely true, toi.
202
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,571
And I want you to know, Miss Piggy,
203
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:03,158
I'm terribly sorry that I said
I knew you when you were thin.
204
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:06,536
-Oh, Danny, that's all right.
-Thank you.
205
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,917
I never knew you when you were thin.
206
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:19,591
♪ And I ♪
207
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,385
♪ Seem to find ♪
208
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,931
♪ The happiness I seek ♪
209
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:31,144
-♪ When we're out together ♪
-♪ Out together ♪
210
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,730
-♪ Out together ♪
-♪ Out together ♪
211
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,232
♪ Out together dancing ♪
212
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:42,655
♪ Cheek to cheek ♪
213
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,165
Now, then,
most of you probably didn't know
214
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,250
that the Swedish Chef had an uncle.
215
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,586
Uh, and neither did we
until he just showed up.
216
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,381
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Swedish Chef and his uncle.
217
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,636
[BOTH SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
218
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,893
BOTH:
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
219
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
220
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,648
[BOTH SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
221
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:21,236
Oh, oh, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to our evening today.
222
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:25,573
We have this evening
an international cooking festival
223
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,536
und we will prepare something
which my nephew, the Swedish Chef,
224
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,789
will talk to you in just one minute.
225
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,876
Yeah. Yeah, that's his name.
226
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,170
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
227
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,677
But we call him Tom.
228
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,346
That's very good.
229
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:51,433
All right, now you understand,
of course, Tom...
230
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,685
You understand what we are doing tonight.
231
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,730
We are taking an international dish.
232
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,566
We will take a Swiss turkey,
233
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,527
und we stuff him with Chinese ingredients,
234
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,238
and make a Yugoslavian chicken out of him.
235
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,491
No, no, no. No Yugoslavian.
236
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,661
-Me Swedish.
-I know you are Swedish.
237
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,748
We are just only talking about
the turkey, which we--
238
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,584
-No, no. Me not turkey. Swedish.
-I know you're not a turkey!
239
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,087
We are trying to make
an international dish, you understand me?
240
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,547
Uh... no.
241
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,424
Oh. All right. In that case...
242
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,384
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
243
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,136
Oh, ja, ja.
244
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,513
-So we need a turkey now.
-The turkey.
245
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,724
-I get the turkey.
-We will have a turkey.
246
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,101
I go and get the turkey.
247
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,771
Are you crazy?
You're bringing a live turkey here?
248
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,731
We're supposed to cook it.
249
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:40,857
[GOBBLING]
250
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,445
How can you... with a live turkey...?
What's the matter with you?
251
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,280
This turkey, we can't...
252
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,407
It's a nice turkey, but we can't do it.
253
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,826
First of all,
we have to pluck all the feathers.
254
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,036
[GOBBLING]
255
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,080
It's okay. Don't be nervous.
256
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:59,709
After we pluck all the feathers, then we
have to take out from him the gizzards.
257
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,756
You bring the live turkey.
258
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,259
After we take the live turkey
we will do something with him.
259
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:12,597
We will open up the turkey,
and we will stuff him with chop suey.
260
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,100
Oh, yeah, chop turkey.
261
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,102
[CHEF LAUGHING, TURKEY GOBBLING]
262
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,857
There goes turkey bird.
263
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,656
Let me have this here.
264
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,242
I will shoot the blunderfuss in here.
265
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,370
One, two, und a boom.
266
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,209
-There we are.
-Oh!
267
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,713
Already prepared to put in your freezer.
268
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,220
Okay, well, now, ladies and gentlemen,
269
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,097
the Flying Zucchini Brothers
270
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,308
will hurl themselves
from a height of 200 feet
271
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768
into a water-filled bucket.
272
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,979
-Are you ready back there?
ZUCCHINI: We're ready.
273
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,647
The Flying Zucchinis!
274
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,441
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]
275
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,444
Hey, who left my bucket on the floor?
276
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,987
Hey, don't move that bucket.
277
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,573
-[CRASHING]
-Don't! Beauregard!
278
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,491
Beauregard!
279
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:21,624
Oh, wow. Look, there's a bag full
of fruits and vegetables up here.
280
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:26,338
Hmm. Perchance Statler and Waldorf
were thinking of throwing a party.
281
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,673
This much fruit won't go very far.
282
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:32,886
Well, they only wanted to throw it
as far as the stage.
283
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:34,471
For sure.
284
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,849
-Hey, Kermit, how are you?
-Danny, I'm fine, thank you.
285
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,142
You're fine, thank you?
286
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,520
-Are you making fun of the way I talk?
-I love the way you talk.
287
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,646
Oh, okay.
288
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,067
I love the way you talk so much
that I begin to talk like you.
289
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,735
That sounds very good.
290
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,197
I was wondering if I could talk you
into doing one more song with us.
291
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,574
You wouldn't have to talk too much,
Kermit.
292
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,534
I'd love to do another song for you.
293
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,621
But I tell you what.
Instead of doing it on the stage,
294
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,791
why don't we do it back here, you see?
295
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,502
So, it's a song for just friends.
296
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,672
Oh. Well, yeah, but, uh...
But... But what...?
297
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,006
There's nothing onstage.
298
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,384
[MIMICKING KERMIT]
Yeah, but... There's nothing on...
299
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,136
Well, why don't we get something onstage?
300
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,930
I could go on.
301
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:20,642
That's Clive Cahuenga,
the singing civil servant.
302
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,268
I know, Fozz, I know.
303
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854
Clive, I've got a job for you.
304
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,940
Oh, great, but I should change to--
305
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,484
-Well, all right.
-Come right this way.
306
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,488
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
for tonight's big finale,
307
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,532
The Muppet Show proudly presents:
308
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,868
Clive Cahuenga,
singing to the music of Mozart,
309
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:42,455
the Municipal Vermin Abatement Code.
310
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,463
♪ Section one, rats ♪
311
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:52,424
♪ Subheading, infestation ♪
312
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,677
♪ Rodent populations in an urban area ♪
313
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,388
-Hey.
-Uh, now, where were we?
314
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,223
Where were we where?
315
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:04,352
Oh, you were gonna talk about the song
that you were gonna do back here.
316
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:07,147
I've got a great idea, Kermit.
317
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,443
Why don't we do a song we did in a movie
called Hans Christian Andersen?
318
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,570
It's called "Inchworm."
319
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,447
Oh, "Inchworm." We know that song.
320
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,573
-You do?
-Oh, sure.
321
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,700
-We could all sing it.
-Of course.
322
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,785
Anybody here sing close harmony?
323
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,704
Well, no, but a near miss.
324
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,831
Here we go.
325
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:29,461
♪ Two and two are four ♪
326
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:33,840
♪ Four and four are eight ♪
327
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,216
That's pretty.
328
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,845
♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪
329
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,096
Very nice.
330
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:44,851
-♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪
-Very good.
331
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:50,273
-♪ Two and two are four ♪
-♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪
332
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:55,320
-♪ Four and four are eight ♪
-♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪
333
00:19:55,403 --> 00:20:00,367
-♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪
-♪ You and your arithmetic ♪
334
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:05,622
-♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪
-♪ You'll probably go far ♪
335
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:10,835
-♪ Two and two are four ♪
-♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪
336
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:15,924
-♪ Four and four are eight ♪
-♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪
337
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:20,804
-♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪
-♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪
338
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:26,518
-♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪
-♪ How beautiful they are ♪
339
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,481
Well, look what we have here.
340
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,150
Come on, up on my hand.
341
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,070
Up, up, up.
342
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,323
Pick your head up and look around.
343
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,908
Way up.
344
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,203
Oh, look, isn't that pretty?
345
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:51,876
♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪
346
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:57,173
♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪
347
00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,886
♪ You and your arithmetic ♪
348
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:06,474
♪ You'll probably go far ♪
349
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:13,064
-♪ Two and two are four ♪
-♪ Inchworm, inchworm ♪
350
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:18,528
-♪ Four and four are eight ♪
-♪ Measuring the marigolds ♪
351
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:23,408
-♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪
-♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪
352
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:28,872
-♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪
-♪ How beautiful they are ♪
353
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:34,044
♪ Two and two are four ♪
354
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:38,965
♪ Four and four are eight ♪
355
00:21:39,049 --> 00:21:44,387
-♪ Eight and eight are sixteen ♪
-♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪
356
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:51,770
-♪ Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two ♪
-♪ How beautiful they are ♪
357
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:58,318
♪ Seems to me you'd stop and see ♪
358
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:02,739
♪ How beautiful ♪
359
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:08,828
♪ They are ♪
360
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,802
I've got to feed the parking meter,
Scooter.
361
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,762
I'll be back in just a few minutes.
362
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:29,140
Well, I wonder if that Kaye
has done his act yet.
363
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:31,393
Thank goodness we're not there to know.
364
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,937
Imagine, a tuned clam player.
365
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,357
Mm. I hate that Manny Kaye. Ugh!
366
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,400
"Manny" Kaye?
367
00:22:39,651 --> 00:22:42,487
-Why, it's Danny Kaye.
-Sure.
368
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:46,866
-You're one of our favorites.
-Oh, better than a tuned clam player?
369
00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:50,704
Of course.
Now I wish we had seen the show.
370
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,915
SCOOTER:
Onstage for the closing, Mr. Kaye.
371
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:55,208
I'll be right with you.
372
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,835
Don't be late.
373
00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,587
We've done it again, folks.
374
00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:02,507
It's been particularly sad
to come to the end of this one
375
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:07,595
because our guest star has been
the one and only, Mr. Danny Kaye. Yeah!
376
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:12,392
Thank you.
377
00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:15,061
Kermit, do you mind
if I bring some friends along?
378
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:17,063
-What?
-Eh? Come on in, fellas.
379
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,648
Here we go.
380
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,984
Are you kidding?
They're part of the family.
381
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,319
Be with us next time
when our guest will be
382
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,530
one of the world's greatest
tuned clam players.
383
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:27,615
Kermit, just say good night.
384
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:30,201
Aah! A clam player!
385
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:33,121
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
386
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:36,624
-It was great to have you, Danny.
-Oh, thank you, Kermit.
387
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:38,626
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
388
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:13,703
There was something thrilling
about being in the show tonight.
389
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:16,831
Yep. Not having to watch it.
29578
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