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[KNOCK ON DOOR]
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Gilda Radner, Gilda Radner.
Thirty seconds to curtain, Miss Radner.
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Well, Scooter,
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what's all this fuss I keep hearing about
me doing The Muffin Show?
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I mean, what kind of a show is it
about muffins?
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Why, the next thing you know,
they'll have me do a show with rye bread,
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or little, tiny lovely biscuits.
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Why, I can't do a show like that,
it's outrageous.
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-Excuse me, ma'am.
-What?
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It's not The Muffin Show.
It's The Muppet Show.
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Oh. Well, that's very different.
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Never mind.
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It's The Muppet Show, with our
special guest star, Gilda Radner.
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Yeah!
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
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-I always get butterflies before a show.
-Not this time.
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[FOGHORN BLARING]
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Thank you, thank you, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
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Tonight, we have with us one of America's
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brightest young comediennes,
Miss Gilda Radner!
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But first, let us take a moment
to consider the folk music
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of the North American Eskimo.
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Here is a traditional lullaby
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from beyond the Antarctic Circle,
or somewhere.
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[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ Come on along and listen to ♪
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♪ The lullaby of Broadway ♪
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♪ The hip hooray and ballyhoo ♪
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♪ The lullaby of Broadway ♪
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-♪ The rumble of the subway train ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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-♪ The rattle of the taxis ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding, a ding ♪
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-♪ The daffodils who entertain ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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♪ At Angelo's and Maxie's ♪
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♪ When a Broadway baby says good night ♪
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♪ It's early in the morning ♪
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♪ Manhattan babies don't sleep tight ♪
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♪ Until the dawn ♪
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♪ Goodnight, baby ♪
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♪ Goodnight ♪
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♪ Milkman's on his way ♪
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♪ Sleep tight, baby ♪
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♪ Sleep tight ♪
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-♪ Let's call it a day ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
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-♪ Come on along and listen to ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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-♪ The lullaby of Broadway ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding, a ding ♪
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-♪ A hi-dee-ho and boopa doo ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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♪ You'll sleep all day ♪
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♪ Good night, baby ♪
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♪ Good night ♪
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♪ Milkman's on his way ♪
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♪ Sleep tight, baby ♪
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♪ Sleep tight ♪
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♪ Let's call it a day ♪
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Hey, Norton,
I don't think this is 42nd Street.
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♪ Listen to the lullaby ♪
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-♪ Of old Broadway ♪
-♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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♪ A ding, a ding ♪
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♪ A ding, a ding, a ding ♪
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♪ Hey ♪
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-Weird, why did they want the igloo?
-What?
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Why did they want the igloo?
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Well, maybe someone broke their "ig."
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Okay, okay. Do Eskimos have chickens?
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Good number, but move it,
move it, move it!
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I can't. I've got a broken ig.
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Ah, it's Gilda Radner.
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Hi, Kermit.
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-Hi, there.
-Listen, I want to really thank you
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for letting me do the operetta number.
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I love operetta, and no one's ever
given me a chance to do one before.
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Oh, well, you're welcome.
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-Have you got my parrot?
-Your what?
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My parrot. My 7-foot-tall talking parrot.
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A 7-foot-tall talking parrot?
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Right. I wrote you in the letter.
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Well, well, I got your letter, but I
couldn't quite read your handwriting.
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A parrot?
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-Well, what'd you think I asked for?
-I-- I wasn't really sure.
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I thought it was a...
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Never mind.
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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Must I share my dressing room
with the other vegetables?
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A 7-foot-tall talking carrot?
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Watch it, lady, I'm a star.
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I sang the hit song from Cole.
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-Cole? Cole Porter?
-Coleslaw.
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They paid him a huge celery.
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Now she's stealing my jokes.
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Well, I have to do something.
I don't have an opening number now.
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Why not?
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Well, I was going to do selections
from The Parrots of Penzance.
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The Parrots of Penzance?
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Yeah, well it's better
than The Carrots of Penzance.
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Come on, vitamin brains.
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Ker-- Ker-- Ker-- Kermit.
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Gilda Radner
and a 7-foot-tall talking carrot?
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Well, I introduce them.
I don't explain them.
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Uh, a few performers are brave,
or foolhardy enough
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to tackle the blinding complexity
of the following musical number.
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But here she is, tempting fate,
Miss Gilda Radner.
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[UPBEAT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major-General ♪
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♪ I've information
Vegetable animal and mineral ♪
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I know the kings of England
And I quote the fights hysteric
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♪ From Alahoo to... ♪
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[HUMMING]
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Hold it. Hold it. Maestro, please.
You blew it, my child.
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Never send a girl in
to do a carrot's work.
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Ooh, if I knew a 12-foot rabbit,
you'd really be in trouble.
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Why don't we try an easy one, mm?
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Maestro, please.
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♪ When a carrot's not engaged
In his employment ♪
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♪ His employment ♪
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♪ Or maturing his felonious little plans ♪
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♪ Little plans ♪
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♪ His capacity for innocent enjoyment ♪
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♪ 'Cent enjoyment ♪
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-♪ Is just as great as any honest man ♪
-♪ Honest man ♪
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♪ Our feelings we with difficulty
Smother ♪
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♪ 'Culty smother ♪
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♪ When our vegetary duty's to be done ♪
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♪ To be done ♪
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♪ I'll take one consideration
With another ♪
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♪ With another ♪
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♪ A carrot's lot is not a happy one ♪
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♪ Aah ♪
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Wait a minute. Who are these guys?
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They're my back-up group.
They travel with me everywhere.
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What have you got?
A chauffeur-driven shopping cart?
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Why don't you just stand back
and let me show you how it's done?
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♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major-General ♪
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♪ I've information,
Vegetation animable... ♪
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Oh, potatoes.
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Hold it, hold it.
See, you didn't make it either.
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Maybe I didn't want to make it.
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[MUMBLES MOCKINGLY]
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Why don't you sing, Gilda?
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♪ Poor wand'ring one ♪
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♪ Though thou hast surely strayed ♪
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♪ Take heart of grace ♪
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♪ Thy steps, retrace ♪
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♪ Poor wand'ring one ♪
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♪ Poor wand'ring one ♪
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♪ If such poor love as mine ♪
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♪ Can help me find ♪
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♪ True peace of mind ♪
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♪ Why, take it, it is... ♪
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[BOTH LAUGHING TO MELODY]
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♪ It is thine ♪
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Here we go.
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♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major-General ♪
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♪ I've information
Vegetable animal and mineral ♪
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-♪ I know the kings of England ♪
-♪ And I quote the fights historical ♪
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♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical ♪
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♪ In military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury ♪
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♪ Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century ♪
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-♪ But still in matters vegetable ♪
-♪ Animal and mineral ♪
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♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major-General ♪
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♪ But still in matters
Vegetable animal and mineral ♪
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♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major-General ♪
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You know, usually operetta music
puts me right to sleep.
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[SNORING]
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You too, huh?
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Ladies and gentlemen, a Muppet melodrama.
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-Ha-ha-ha.
-Help! Oh...
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And now, for the last time,
my little peach pie,
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will you marry me?
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Drop dead!
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I think that might be my line, my dear.
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Oh, where, oh, where is my hero?
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I said, where, oh, where is my hero?
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Here I am, my precious.
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Sorry I was late.
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I had to change the bus across town,
and the traffic was terrible.
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Never mind, just get me out of here.
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00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,476
Say, I know those boots.
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00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,271
Weren't you a flamenco dancer
in Kansas City?
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-Why, yes, I was.
-Harry's Boom Boom Room?
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00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,776
UNCLE DEADLY:
You caught my act?
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I never could figure out how you did that
passe double thing, though.
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-Paso doble.
-Oh, quite simple, my boy, quite simple.
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-Music, maestro, please.
PIGGY: Music?
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00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,581
[FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING]
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-What? Hey, hey. Cool it up there.
-Now to the Passionato del Thunderdoor,
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00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,339
-you give an extra little flourish.
-Watch it!
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00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,760
-Aha! You mean, like this?
-Whoo-hoo, hee-ha, hold it.
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00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,012
-Easy! Down, boy.
-Aha!
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00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,015
-Almost, almost. More like...
-Hey!
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00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,976
-Ha! Ha! Olé, olé!
-Hey, wait. Hey!
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00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,561
[PIGGY SCREAMS]
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00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,021
[WATER SPLASHES]
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PIGGY:
I suppose you think that's funny!
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00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:36,821
Ah. I think you might well start
with a new pair of boots.
206
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:43,995
All right, Muppaphones, move it,
move it, move it, move it!
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00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,121
[TAPPING]
208
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,790
How am I doing? Any better?
209
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,334
Yes. Yes, you're getting it,
you're getting it.
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00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,878
Yeah? Well, you're both gonna get it.
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00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,715
Hi-yah! Hi-yah!
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00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,012
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
it is time once again
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00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:05,266
for a return engagement
of the incomparable Marvin Suggs.
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00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,268
I say "incomparable"
because I can't imagine
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00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,771
anything to compare him to.
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00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,817
Anyway, here he is with his Muppaphone,
Marvin Suggs!
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00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,860
Gracias, gracias, gracias.
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00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,698
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
219
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:25,370
Ay-yah!
Yes, I am the beloved Marvin Suggs,
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00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,957
and these are my Muppaphones.
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00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,127
-Move it, move it, move it!
-You're so strict.
222
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,212
Silencio.
223
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,673
And now...
224
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:41,219
Virginia and Stan, exchange.
225
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,056
Sorry I'm late,
I couldn't get a parking space.
226
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,850
Who cares?
227
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,729
Thank you, thank you.
228
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:56,401
And now, we will play and sing for you
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00:12:56,484 --> 00:13:00,447
the beloved old ballad, "Witch Doctor."
230
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:05,452
-Oh, but I just had my hair done.
-Shut up!
231
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,289
Thank you! Maestro!
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00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,541
[UPBEAT EASY LISTENING SONG PLAYING]
233
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:18,089
♪ I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you ♪
234
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:22,594
♪ I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you ♪
235
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:26,014
♪ And then the witch doctor
He told me what to do ♪
236
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,891
-♪ He say ♪
-♪ Ooh, ee ♪
237
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,017
♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
238
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,185
♪ Ting, tang ♪
239
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,686
-♪ Walla, walla ♪
-♪ Bing, bang ♪
240
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,229
-♪ Ooh, ee ♪
-♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
241
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,815
-♪ Ting, tang ♪
-♪ Walla, walla, bing, bang ♪
242
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:39,569
Thank you! Thank you! Second verse!
243
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:44,574
♪ My friend, the witch doctor
He taught me what to say ♪
244
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,953
♪ My friend, the witch doctor
He taught me what to do ♪
245
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,499
♪ I know that you'll be mine
When I say this to you ♪
246
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,501
-♪ When I say ♪
-♪ Ooh, ee ♪
247
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,503
-♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
-♪ Ting, tang ♪
248
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,962
-♪ Walla, walla ♪
-♪ Bing, bang ♪
249
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,756
-♪ Ooh, ee ♪
-♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
250
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,300
-♪ Ting, tang ♪
-♪ Walla, walla, bing, bang ♪
251
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,552
Modulate!
252
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,805
♪ Ooh, ee ♪
253
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:07,972
♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
254
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,350
-♪ Ting, tang ♪
-♪ Walla, walla, bing, bang ♪
255
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,018
-♪ Ooh, ee ♪
-♪ Ooh, ah, ah ♪
256
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,729
-♪ Ting, tang ♪
-♪ Walla, walla, bing, bang ♪
257
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,482
♪ I told the witch doctor... ♪
258
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,532
I told you never to tell anyone!
259
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,701
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
260
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,045
[JAUNTY PIANO TUNE PLAYING]
261
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,507
♪ Every Saturday Willie got his pay ♪
262
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,010
♪ Then he'd call on Nellie ♪
263
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,263
♪ Trousers neatly pressed
And nice, white vest ♪
264
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,682
♪ Button holed bouquet, as well ♪
265
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,852
♪ On Nellie's little hat
There was a little bird ♪
266
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:57,147
-♪ That little bird knew quite a lot ♪
-♪ It did, upon my word ♪
267
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,650
♪ And in its quiet way
It had a lot to say ♪
268
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,862
♪ As the lovers strolled along ♪
269
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,240
♪ I'll be your little honey
I can promise that ♪
270
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:10,285
♪ Said Nellie as she rolled
Her dreamy eyes ♪
271
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,288
-♪ It's a shame to take the money ♪
-♪ Said the bird on Nellie's hat ♪
272
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,874
♪ Last night, she said the same
To Jimmy Wise ♪
273
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,918
♪ Then to Nellie, Willy whispered
As they fondly kissed ♪
274
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:22,130
♪ I bet that you were never
Kissed like that ♪
275
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,883
♪ Well, you don't know Nellie like I do ♪
276
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:28,428
♪ Said the saucy little bird
On Nellie's hat ♪
277
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,389
-♪ Oh, it's 12 o'clock ♪
-♪ Said Willie, as he took her home ♪
278
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,434
♪ Now, I bet you're never out
As late as that ♪
279
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,312
♪ Well, you don't know Nellie like I do ♪
280
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,857
♪ Said the saucy little bird
On Nellie's hat ♪
281
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,984
♪ Autumn came along ♪
282
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,278
♪ Love's young dream gone wrong ♪
283
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:48,573
♪ Will went 'round to call ♪
284
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,367
♪ Servant with a grin said ♪
285
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:54,913
♪ She's not in
Nellie's gone away, that's all ♪
286
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:58,875
♪ Poor Willie's heart was broke
His life seemed all in vain ♪
287
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,128
♪ Until upon Fifth Avenue
He met his Nell again ♪
288
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838
-♪ Said he ♪
-♪ We meet once more ♪
289
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:06,091
-♪ Said she ♪
-♪ Love's dream is o'er ♪
290
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:09,427
♪ But we can still be real good friends ♪
291
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:13,223
♪ And I'll keep your presents, honey
Just for old times' sake ♪
292
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,559
♪ Said Nellie as she rolled
Her dreamy eyes ♪
293
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,270
-♪ She's fixed him good and plenty ♪
-♪ Said the bird on Nellie's hat ♪
294
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,107
♪ Oh, really, Willie
When will you be wise? ♪
295
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:25,235
♪ Yes, but how about
The diamond engagement ring? ♪
296
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,653
-♪ Of course ♪
-♪ Said Willie ♪
297
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,947
♪ You'll return me that ♪
298
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,366
♪ Oh, brother ♪
299
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:35,412
♪ Said the saucy little bird
On Nellie's hat ♪
300
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,966
Oh. Ahem.
301
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,552
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs,
302
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,596
where the future is being made today.
303
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,850
And here with me is the lovely
Miss Gilda Radner.
304
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,310
Thank you, Dr. Honeydew.
305
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,980
Today, we have an amazing demonstration.
306
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:06,651
And Gilda, here, has graciously
volunteered to be our human guinea pig.
307
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,278
I have?
308
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,905
Good. That's settled then.
309
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,158
Oh, I shall need you too, Beaker.
310
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,118
Come on in here.
311
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,661
Now we're ready to begin.
312
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:19,372
Listen, Dr. Honeydew,
you said "assistant."
313
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,624
I never heard you say the word
"guinea pig."
314
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,711
Just put your head down here
so Uncle Honey can work on you.
315
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,087
Well, I don't mind assisting,
316
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,548
but I'm not crazy about
the idea of guinea pigging.
317
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:32,427
Mm-hm. There we go. Blink. There.
318
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:37,474
I have just placed on Gilda's forehead
a single teensy weensy drop
319
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,559
of Muppet's new Super Adhesive.
320
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,228
Now we'll wait a moment
for it to get tacky.
321
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,274
-What are we waiting for?
-For it to get tacky.
322
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:49,027
-Another first on this show.
-How's that?
323
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:53,031
It's the first time we've had
to wait for it to get tacky.
324
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,743
And with that single drop of glue,
325
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,704
I shall stick this rope
to Gilda's forehead,
326
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,707
and then Beaker and I
shall haul on the rope,
327
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,710
thus lifting Miss Radner
bodily off the floor.
328
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:08,338
No, no, no. Wait a minute.
329
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,590
That's okay, Gilda-poo, that's all right.
330
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,968
Now, Beaker, I hope you're feeling fit.
331
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,970
That's good.
332
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,974
Okay. Oh.
333
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,436
Oh, there was glue on the rag.
334
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,397
Maybe it says something about a...
335
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,856
[BEAKER SHRIEKS]
336
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,651
-Oh, wait!
-Oh, no, wait. Don't squeeze that tube!
337
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,112
Oh, I'm sorry-- What do we do now?
338
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,738
Let me consult my notes.
339
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:34,864
[BEAKER SHRIEKING]
340
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:38,034
Oh, you're stuck!
Oh, Beaker, wait a minute, I'll help you.
341
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,244
Wait a minute.
342
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:40,912
Uh...
343
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,918
Whoa! Uh... Whoa!
344
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:49,004
It wasn't meant to go this way.
345
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,507
That's all for now from Muppet Labs.
346
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:53,967
Beaker...!
347
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,099
Well, that must be the glue, all right.
348
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:05,478
-Well, what glue is that?
-The one they mend the "ig" with.
349
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,314
Yeah, well, okay.
350
00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:12,277
Here she comes now, Mr. Scribbler.
I'll ask her. Oh, Gilda.
351
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,780
A reporter would like to know,
"What is the secret of your success?"
352
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,574
Kermit, can I talk to you for a second?
353
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:21,327
I guess you can just say
that she has stuck with it.
354
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:25,040
In the little time I've known her,
she's really cemented our friendship.
355
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:30,337
I've heard of close friends,
but this is ridiculous.
356
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,923
Okay, well, bye-bye.
357
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,636
Hey, guys, get on-stage! The intro!
358
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,722
-Oh, oh, help.
-Kermie, my sweet.
359
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:45,935
Piggy, not right now.
I'm stuck on the phone. Literally.
360
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:50,190
-Oh, Kermie, all this work and worry...
-Oh, Piggy don't touch me.
361
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,276
-Oh, Froggy-poo.
-Now I'm stuck on you.
362
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,613
Oh, at last, my frog wants me.
363
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,907
Oh, thank you...
364
00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:02,577
Will you let-- Will you let--
Get away from me!
365
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,412
What is this...?
366
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,750
[PLAYING SLOW JAZZ DUO]
367
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,822
[PIANO CHORD REPEATING]
368
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:43,159
Zoot, my fingers are glued to the piano.
369
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:49,666
I can't get my saxophone out of my mouth.
370
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,044
Let's get out of here.
371
00:20:58,341 --> 00:21:01,720
Here is a Muppet news flash.
The Great Glue Threat is over.
372
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:05,890
The rogue adhesive is under control, but--
Oh, everything is under...
373
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:08,560
Oh, Kermie-poo.
374
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,562
Piggy, you're putting
all your weight on me.
375
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:15,400
Mm-hm. Maybe we shall be
stuck like this forever.
376
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:19,070
I don't think I can go on
supporting you that long.
377
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:22,490
Well, if you think
I'm gonna go out and work...
378
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,284
[PIGGY SHOUTS]
379
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:27,287
-Uh, can we get the band ready?
-Get the band ready.
380
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:29,164
-Come on, you guys. Piggy...
-What?
381
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:31,833
Hey, Floyd, what is Gonzo
doing back there?
382
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,752
Oh, he's watching television.
383
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,754
Shouldn't he be further from the screen?
384
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:39,799
No. His eyes are glued to the set.
385
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,303
Oh, my.
386
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,804
[PIGGY SHOUTS]
387
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:48,850
Fozzie, would you introduce
the next number?
388
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,063
Oh, boy. Uh, hi.
389
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:56,900
We're having a little trouble back here,
but that's okay, that's okay.
390
00:21:56,983 --> 00:22:01,571
Let's just give a great big hand
for our very special guest star.
391
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:06,576
Oh, no, my hand is stuck--
Uh, Miss Gilda Radner.
392
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,500
How could you do this...?
393
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,126
[BEAKER SHRIEKING]
394
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,631
♪ Tap ♪
395
00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:21,424
♪ Your troubles away ♪
396
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:25,387
♪ You've bounced a big check ♪
397
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:29,307
♪ Your mom has the vapors ♪
398
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:33,895
♪ Tap your troubles away ♪
399
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,690
♪ Your car had a wreck ♪
400
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:40,235
♪ They're serving you papers ♪
401
00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:46,533
♪ When you're the one
That it always rains on ♪
402
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:53,039
♪ Simply try putting your Mary Janes on ♪
403
00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:02,465
♪ Your boss just gave you the ax ♪
404
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,635
♪ There's years of back tax ♪
405
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:08,972
♪ You simply can't pay ♪
406
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,100
♪ If you're having bad luck ♪
407
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,894
♪ If you seem to get stuck ♪
408
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:20,191
♪ Make a curtsy
And tap your troubles away ♪
409
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:38,084
[CRASHING]
410
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:52,432
♪ When you need something
To turn your mind off ♪
411
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:58,646
♪ Why not try tapping
Your poor behind off? ♪
412
00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:05,695
♪ Your boat goes over the falls ♪
413
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:08,656
♪ The plane you're on stalls ♪
414
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,743
♪ The pilot yells "pray" ♪
415
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:14,913
♪ When your parachute strap ♪
416
00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:17,665
♪ Is beginning to snap ♪
417
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:21,503
♪ Smile a big smile and tap, tap, tap ♪
418
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:24,964
♪ Your troubles away ♪
419
00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:27,801
♪ When the wolf's at your door ♪
420
00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:30,762
♪ There's a bluebird in store ♪
421
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:33,723
♪ If you glide 'cross the floor ♪
422
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:36,434
♪ 'Till your ankles get sore ♪
423
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:41,606
♪ Just tap your troubles away ♪
424
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:42,982
♪ Your troubles away ♪
425
00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:48,530
♪ Your troubles away ♪
426
00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,710
KERMIT:
To the left, to the left.
427
00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:05,380
Keep going, keep going. A little bit more.
428
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:08,008
Keep going a little bit more--
To the left.
429
00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:11,344
Hold it, hold it. Too far.
Back a little bit. Back, back, back.
430
00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:13,888
Okay, that about does it
for another regular,
431
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:16,850
nothing out of the ordinary,
everything under control Muppet Show.
432
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:20,687
And somewhere back amongst us
is our very special guest star.
433
00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:24,232
She's the one behind the scenery,
Miss Gilda Radner. Yay!
434
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:33,366
Thanks, Kermit, it's been great.
I just can't seem to tear myself away.
435
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,660
Yeah, okay. Well, that's all for now.
436
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:37,370
See you next time on The Muppet Show.
437
00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,497
Okay, everybody bow.
438
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:41,666
[ALL GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
439
00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:44,711
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
440
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:23,083
-Goodnight.
-So long.
441
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:27,045
[IN UNISON] Oh, no!
34475
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