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[KNOCKING]
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Julie Andrews?
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Andrews.
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00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,967
Thank you. Thank you. I'll be ready.
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,469
I'll be ready
so long as nobody else drops in.
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[MUPPETS WHOOPING]
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It's The Muppet Show, with our very
special guest star, Miss Julie Andrews!
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[CHEERS]
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
11
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,592
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
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[BOTH WHISTLING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,646
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[HONKS]
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Welcome again to The Muppet Show.
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We're very excited here tonight.
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Our guest star is
a wonderfully talented lady
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and a good friend of mine.
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And here she is now, ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Julie Andrews!
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[BAND PLAYING LIVELY FOLK MUSIC]
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♪ High on a hill
Was a lonely goatherd ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odelay hee-ho ♪
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♪ Loud was the voice
Of the lonely goatherd ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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♪ Folks in a town
That was quite remote heard ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odelay hee-ho ♪
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♪ Lusty and clear
From the goatherd's throat heard ♪
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00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,958
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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CHICKENS:
♪ Bock-bock bock-bock bock-bock-bock ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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-♪ Lay-dee odelay oh-lay ♪
-♪ Bock-bock bock-bock-bock bock-bock ♪
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[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
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♪ A prince on the bridge
Of a castle moat heard ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odel-lay hee-ho ♪
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♪ Men on a road
With a load to tote heard ♪
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PIGS:
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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♪ Men in the midst
Of a table d'hôte heard ♪
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GOAT: ♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odel-lay hee-ho ♪
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♪ Men drinking beer
With the foam afloat heard ♪
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ALL:
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay oh-lay ♪
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00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,007
You know, I saw the movie twice.
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00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,681
♪ One little girl
In a pale pink coat heard ♪
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00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,309
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odel-lay hee-ho ♪
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00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,895
♪ She yodeled back
To the lonely goatherd ♪
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GIRL:
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,691
♪ Soon her mama
With a gleaming gloat heard ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee
Odelay hee-ho ♪
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♪ What a duet
For a girl and goatherd ♪
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GIRL & GOAT:
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
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♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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ALL:
♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay ♪
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♪ Oh-ho lay-dee odelay-ho ♪
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♪ Lay-dee odelay oh-lay ♪
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♪ Happy are they
Lay-dee-oh lay-dee-lee-oh ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ Oh lay-dee-oh lay-dee-lay ee-oh ♪
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♪ Soon the duet
Will become a trio ♪
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ALL:
♪ Lay-dee odelay-dee odel-oh ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
-♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
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JULIE:
♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee ♪
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-♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Odelay-hee-hee ♪
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♪ Odelay-dee odelay-dee odelay ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ Odelay-dee odelay-dee odelay ♪
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ALL:
♪ Odelay-dee odelay-dee odelay ♪
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[MUPPETS CHEERING THEN CHATTERING]
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Hooray! Bravo! I loved the goat.
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Ah, he would, the old goat.
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[LAUGHING]
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Okay, great opening number
with the goats and the pigs.
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[COW MOOS]
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Way to go, cow.
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Cow?
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Let's see, let's...
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[GASPS]
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Yes, it's a real cow, all right.
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-Scooter!
-Yeah, chief?
95
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Refresh my memory.
Was there a cow in that opening number?
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-No.
-Then what's a cow doing backstage?
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-What cow?
-That cow right there.
98
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,136
COW: Moo.
-Kermit, that's a cow!
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00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:07,474
-I know that! How'd it get in here?
-Hmm. I guess he must have sneaked in.
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Cows don't sneak. Snakes sneak.
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-Uh, find out who it belongs to.
-Okay.
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Who do you belong to?
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-Scooter!
-Okay, chief, okay.
104
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I think they're gonna love this show
in Jersey.
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NEWSCASTER:
Here is a Muppet news flash.
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A plane carrying a load
of sports equipment
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was forced to jettison some of its cargo.
108
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Among the items tossed out
were 10,000 Ping-Pong balls...
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and one bowling ball.
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Ladies and gentlemen, in a major feat
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of death-defying musicrobatics
never seen before, ahem...
112
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The Great Gonzo will perform on bagpipes
the "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik"
113
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from a flagpole ten feet in the air?
114
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,412
Hmm. Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
The Great Gonzo!
115
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[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
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[LAUGHS]
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[GONZO SCREAMS]
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Hey, Gonzo should quit while he's ahead.
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Huh. Gonzo should quit while he's alive.
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[BEAVER SNICKERS & GONZO SIGHS]
121
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Are you okay, Gonzo?
122
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Oh, sure.
I just fell 11 feet onto solid concrete.
123
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Oh. Well, that's too bad.
124
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It looks like
you're gonna have to get a new bagpipe.
125
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Yeah, I'm having it made
out of solid beaver skin.
126
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Sorry about that beaver.
I don't know how it got in.
127
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Usually we're more careful
about who we allow in this place.
128
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Yeah, I can see that.
129
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Uh, the cow.
It's been a bad night for security.
130
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Wow. You got a great pair of legs.
131
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In fact, she's got two great pair of legs.
132
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Hey, you wouldn't think
about going into show business, would you?
133
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Will you at least have dinner with me?
Promise?
134
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Gonzo!
135
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Oh.
136
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,178
-Hey, chief?
-Hmm?
137
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Well, so far nobody knows nothing
about the cow.
138
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Keep trying.
We cannot have a cow backstage.
139
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-Mm. Well, look on the bright side.
-Hmm?
140
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At least you won't have to give us
milk money anymore.
141
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Scooter!
142
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,236
[PLAYING MELANCHOLY MUSIC]
143
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,250
It's very nice
to be able to talk quietly with you.
144
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:05,962
Thank you. I feel the same way.
There was something I was going to ask.
145
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,340
-Excuse me, Julie. Hey, Kermit?
-Yeah?
146
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:11,092
Your nephew Robin just fell in a tuba.
147
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,802
Oh. He did what?
148
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:16,473
He fell in a tuba.
But it's okay. Animal's getting him out.
149
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,058
[TUBA HONKS THEN ROBIN SQUEALS]
150
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-Oh!
-He's all right.
151
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,687
Hey, Robin, are you all right?
152
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Yeah, it's fun.
153
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You were saying, Julie?
154
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-I was gonna ask--
-I hate to interrupt.
155
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,445
-Excuse me, Kermit?
-Yeah?
156
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:34,783
Did you ask to see the Flying Zucchinis'
human-cannonball act?
157
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:35,950
Not right now.
158
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,911
-I'll go tell them. Bye-bye.
-Bye.
159
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[CANNON FIRES]
160
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[CRASHING]
161
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Uh, Kermit, I was too late. You see--
162
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-Oh, never mind.
-You were saying--
163
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[CANNON FIRES]
164
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[CRASHING]
165
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You see, they have two cannons--
166
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,719
Okay, okay! Just get out of here!
167
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,680
I'm sorry, Julie. You were trying to say--
168
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,307
Kermit! Sweetums and Thog
are playing badminton!
169
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,851
-So?
-They're playing with my chicken!
170
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,061
[KERMIT STAMMERS]
171
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[CHICKEN SQUAWKING]
172
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[CANNON FIRES]
173
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[CRASHING]
174
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:12,904
-Julie, you were asking?
-Oh, uh, nothing, I just...
175
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,197
[CANNON FIRES]
176
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,866
...was wondering what you did
for entertainment around here.
177
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,284
Oh, nothing much.
178
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[CHICKEN SQUAWKING]
179
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[CANNON FIRES]
180
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,166
Fowl!
181
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[CANNON FIRES]
182
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,257
[BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
183
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:45,603
♪ And now the band is playing
Very slow ♪
184
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,730
[SNIFFLES]
185
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,984
♪ And once again
I'll get my coat and go ♪
186
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:56,698
♪ A lonely wallflower
Waiting by the wall ♪
187
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:03,580
♪ Without the willpower
To face the music at all ♪
188
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:10,670
♪ Please, won't somebody dance with me? ♪
189
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:16,926
♪ Start up a romance with me? ♪
190
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:21,473
♪ Just someone to care ♪
191
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,934
♪ Someone somewhere ♪
192
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:29,189
♪ Who will dance with me?
193
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,232
Uh, excuse me.
194
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,735
You're excused!
195
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,447
Excuse me, it's time to change partners.
196
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,950
No, it's time to change ballrooms, creep.
197
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:44,329
Uh, excuse me, can I cut in?
198
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:48,875
That reminds me, Marvin,
did you remember to feed the anteater?
199
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:58,009
♪ Please, won't somebody dance with me? ♪
200
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:03,348
♪ Start up a romance with me? ♪
201
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,474
[GASPS]
202
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,685
There she is!
203
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,876
[ALL CHATTERING]
204
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,506
Here we go!
205
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,675
[PLAYING LIVELY BLUEGRASS MUSIC]
206
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,095
♪ Way down south
Way down in Borneo ♪
207
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,848
♪ There's a wild man called the Borneo ♪
208
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,975
♪ Way down on Borneo Bay ♪
209
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,519
-[BEATBOXES]
-[BOINGS]
210
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,730
♪ Even though you've got a corn-eo ♪
211
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,232
♪ You'll dance till the break of dawn-eo ♪
212
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,735
♪ Way down on Borneo Bay ♪
213
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,820
-[TOOTS]
-[BEATBOXES]
214
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,072
♪ Wild man stands
With his clothes all torn-eo ♪
215
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,616
♪ Toot-toot-toots on his bamboo horn-eo ♪
216
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,952
♪ Then the bamboo babies start to sway ♪
217
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,163
CHORUS:
♪ Start to sway ♪
218
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,415
♪ When you see them dance the Borneo ♪
219
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,584
♪ You'll just put your jewels in pawn-eo ♪
220
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,795
♪ Way down on Borneo Bay ♪
221
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,304
♪ Way down on Borneo ♪
222
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,930
[BOINGING]
223
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,390
♪ Bay ♪
224
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,688
♪ Way down on Borneo ♪
225
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,565
[BEATBOXES]
226
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,691
♪ Bay ♪
227
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,362
[BOINGING]
228
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,461
♪ Way down south
Way down in Borneo ♪
229
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,005
♪ There's a wild man called the Borneo ♪
230
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,174
♪ Way down on Borneo Bay ♪
231
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,426
-[BEATBOXES]
-[BOINGS]
232
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,512
♪ Even though you've got a corn-eo ♪
233
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,098
You'll dance till the break of dawn-eo ♪
234
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,308
♪ Way down on Borneo Bay ♪
235
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,477
-[TOOTS]
-[BEATBOXES]
236
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,646
♪ Wild man stands
With his clothes all torn-eo ♪
237
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,273
♪ Toot-toot-toots on his bamboo horn-eo ♪
238
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,567
♪ Then the bamboo babies start to sway ♪
239
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,778
CHORUS:
♪ Start to sway ♪
240
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,155
♪ When you see them dance the Borneo ♪
241
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,783
♪ You'll just put your jewels in pawn-eo ♪
242
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,868
♪ Way down on Borneo ♪
243
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,037
♪ Bay ♪
244
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,798
Kermit, you've been busy
since I saw you last.
245
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,009
We've been doing this show
and all that stuff.
246
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,469
I love the shows. I watch them every week.
247
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,263
Oh, hey, that's nice.
248
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:51,474
But one thing a lot of people don't know
about you
249
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,976
is you write children's books.
250
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,270
-Mm, I really enjoy doing that too.
-Mm-hm.
251
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,896
And you also write songs.
252
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,857
I wrote one for you, remember?
253
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,233
You wrote one for me?
254
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,360
Oh, how could you have forgotten?
255
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,862
I didn't forget.
256
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,488
We did it on a special of yours.
257
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,324
-That's right.
-Hey, would you do that now?
258
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,618
Ah, I thought you'd never ask.
259
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,538
Actually, I knew she was gonna do it.
260
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,082
-Ready?
-Mm-hm.
261
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:21,212
♪ When you were a tadpole ♪
262
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:25,175
♪ And I was a fish ♪
263
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:30,847
♪ When the whole world had barely begun ♪
264
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,725
-As far back as that?
-Mm-hm.
265
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:38,271
♪ I saw you swim by ♪
266
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:42,525
♪ With a smile in your eye ♪
267
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,611
♪ And I loved you ♪
268
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:48,573
♪ From that moment on ♪
269
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,533
That's a lovely thought.
270
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:55,789
♪ And through all the changes ♪
271
00:15:55,872 --> 00:16:00,210
♪ From fins into fingers ♪
272
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,922
♪ I longed for the day ♪
273
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:08,718
♪ You would be ♪
274
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:12,931
♪ The sweet, loving person ♪
275
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:17,394
♪ You've finally become ♪
276
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:24,192
♪ From that faraway day
In the sea ♪
277
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:27,404
♪ And my first wish ♪
278
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,239
What's that?
279
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:33,576
♪ That you'd love me too ♪
280
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,787
♪ 'Cause I've loved you ♪
281
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:40,834
♪ Since you were a tadpole ♪
282
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:45,505
♪ And I was a fish ♪
283
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,881
Aw.
284
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,842
That really is a lovely song.
285
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,969
Oh, I'm glad you like it, Kermit.
286
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,805
It's a little bit fishy, but...
287
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:57,308
I really love it, though.
And I love when you sing it.
288
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,560
Thank you.
289
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:04,566
♪ I'm so glad that you
Love me too ♪
290
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,027
♪ 'Cause I've loved you ♪
291
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:14,117
♪ Since you were a tadpole ♪
292
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:20,290
♪ And I was ♪
293
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,209
-Guess what.
-A fish?
294
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,253
♪ A fish ♪
295
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,354
[BAND PLAYING STATELY MUSIC]
296
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,984
[CLEARS THROAT]
297
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,611
Greetings.
298
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,946
As an American eagle,
299
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:56,743
I feel it is my duty to say a few words
300
00:17:56,826 --> 00:18:01,873
about the glories of industry
and technology.
301
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,834
There are those among us...
302
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,672
who would silence our factories,
303
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:14,594
shut down our mills,
and grind our highways to a halt.
304
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:21,434
Yea, verily, today the very fiber
of our industrialization is under attack
305
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,521
from a small subversive group
306
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:29,401
of namby-pamby conservationists.
307
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:34,447
These weirdos would stop the march
of progress
308
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:39,077
for the sake
of a few insignificant animals.
309
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:44,040
I have here a list.
310
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,835
A list of the animals
311
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:53,008
these so-called conservationists
would have us protect.
312
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,677
Just listen to this.
313
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,971
The mountain lion. Ha!
314
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,432
The alligator. Ha.
315
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:04,436
The coyote, the timber wolf. Ha.
316
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,772
The American bald eagle.
317
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,985
The American bald eagle.
318
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:16,614
Excuse me, this list is now inoperative.
319
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,199
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
320
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,744
[HUMS THEN GASPS]
321
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,498
Where's the cow? We had a date.
322
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,292
Oh, she's gone.
323
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,837
Oh. Well, I guess I've still got time
to call a chicken.
324
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,548
Say, where's the cow?
325
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,426
I found someone
who's gonna do something with her.
326
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,553
-Oh, yeah? Who?
-The Swedish Chef.
327
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:39,763
[KERMIT GASPS]
328
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,931
[HUMMING]
329
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,186
Chef! What are you doing?
330
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,313
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
331
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,190
...barbecue.
332
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,859
You can't do that. Come on, out, out.
333
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,029
No, no, no. Out, out, out.
334
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,655
[CHEF SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
335
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,200
-Now, Scooter?
-Hmm?
336
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,203
-Would you erase that cow?
-Oh, sure, boss.
337
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,705
Erase the cow?
338
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,332
[MOOS]
339
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:12,879
Welcome again to Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
340
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,007
We are feverishly excited
here at the labs today
341
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:19,135
because our latest invention is ready
for testing.
342
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,639
Here it is,
Muppet Labs' new hair-growing tonic.
343
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,516
And who better to test it on
344
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,686
than my willing
and eager lab assistant, Beaker?
345
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,688
-Come on in, Beaker.
-Mm, ah, ah...
346
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:33,608
Now, you would just love
to test this new hair-growing tonic,
347
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,776
wouldn't you, Beaker?
348
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:37,904
-Mm-mm.
-Mm-hm, I knew he would.
349
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,241
Okay, just sit down on this stool here.
350
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,494
Come on. There you go.
351
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,497
We'll shake a little bit of this on here,
352
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,668
put it down, and massage it in vigorously.
353
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,878
Yes, now, in a matter of seconds,
354
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,673
you can grow a rich,
luxurious head of hair.
355
00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,677
Go from a baldy to a shaggy
in the mere tick of a clock. There.
356
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,886
Now watch closely.
357
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:05,056
Here's the result
of using Muppets' hair-growing tonic.
358
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,142
[BEAKER WHIMPERS THEN SCREAMS]
359
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:13,565
Ha, ha. Perhaps we should call it
"hair-raising" tonic.
360
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400
[SNICKERS]
361
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:20,655
Kermit? I found some guys
who'll get rid of the cow for you.
362
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,491
-Great. Who are they?
-The Zucchini Brothers.
363
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:25,118
The human-cannonball act?
364
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,955
Yeah, but now they're gonna change it
to a cow-cannonball act.
365
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:32,375
-Boom ba-boom.
-Okay, now we get it. There's the cow.
366
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,169
[ZUCCHINIS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
367
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:37,297
Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
I'm a frog. The cow's over there.
368
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,632
-Oh, that's the cow. Oh!
-Oh!
369
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:42,344
First we gotta put the cow
into the cannon.
370
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,554
[ZUCCHINIS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
371
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,307
I don't believe this.
I'm gonna go introduce Julie Andrews.
372
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,059
Ay, oh, okay. Boom ba-boom?
373
00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:55,482
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
once again, Miss Julie Andrews.
374
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,070
[BAND PLAYING SPOOKY MUSIC]
375
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,412
[WHISTLING CHEERFUL TUNE]
376
00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:23,510
♪ Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect ♪
377
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:25,887
♪ And whistle a happy tune ♪
378
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:29,891
♪ So no one will suspect
I'm afraid ♪
379
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,353
[MONSTERS GROWLING]
380
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:38,441
♪ While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose ♪
381
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,527
♪ And whistle a happy tune ♪
382
00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:44,739
♪ And no one ever knows
I'm afraid ♪
383
00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:46,199
-Rawr!
-Look!
384
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,826
[MONSTER GIGGLES]
385
00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:52,664
♪ The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell ♪
386
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:57,544
♪ For when I fool the people
I fear ♪
387
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,796
♪ I fool myself as well ♪
388
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,465
[JULIE GASPS THEN YELLS]
389
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:07,637
♪ Oh, I whisper a happy tune
And every single time-- ♪
390
00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:08,763
[SCREAMS]
391
00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:10,473
♪ The happiness in the tune ♪
392
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:13,768
♪ Convinces me that I'm not afraid ♪
393
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:14,978
[WHISTLES]
394
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,354
♪ I am not afraid! ♪
395
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:17,480
[WHISTLES]
396
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,024
♪ I am not afraid! ♪
397
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:21,151
[BELL CLANGS & MONSTERS YELP]
398
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:28,241
Okay, kids, this has been a lot of fun.
399
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,286
I think we should now pretend I get away.
400
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:35,874
Oh!
401
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:40,462
[JULIE SCREAMS]
402
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,631
Oh, help!
403
00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:45,383
[MONSTERS YELL]
404
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,010
Don't be afraid, Julie.
405
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,263
We only wanted your autograph
or a picture.
406
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:51,514
Oh.
407
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,559
I don't happen to have a pen on me
at the moment.
408
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,896
There's one at the police station
around the corner, if you'd care to come.
409
00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:59,189
Great. Come on.
410
00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:03,860
♪ Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far ♪
411
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:08,782
MONSTERS: ♪ You may be as brave
As you make believe you are ♪
412
00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:10,950
[WHISTLING]
413
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:17,624
-♪ You may be as brave ♪
MONSTERS: ♪ You may be as brave ♪
414
00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:20,835
ALL:
♪ As you make believe ♪
415
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:27,926
♪ You are ♪
416
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,095
[WHISTLING]
417
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:43,191
[ALL CHATTERING]
418
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:50,657
We've come to the end
of another Muppet Show.
419
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:56,663
I must say that this one has been
a particularly "moo-ving" experience.
420
00:24:56,746 --> 00:25:00,250
Before we go, let's have a warm thank-you
to our special guest star.
421
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:03,753
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Julie Andrews!
422
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,717
Thank you. Thank you, Kermit.
423
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,428
I've really had a super time on the show.
424
00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,888
-Oh, good.
-Except for one thing.
425
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:15,056
What's that?
426
00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:18,685
Well, I seem to have lost my cow
around here somewhere.
427
00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:20,228
[STAMMERS]
428
00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:22,147
Cow? That was your cow?
429
00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:23,606
[CANNON FIRES]
430
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:26,776
Kermit, what was that?
431
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,070
Uh, uh, nothing. Um, nothing.
432
00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:31,239
[ZUCCHINIS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
433
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,493
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
434
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,454
Kermit, about my cow...
435
00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:39,998
KERMIT: Uh, well...
-It was quite small.
436
00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:45,045
Fozzie, have you seen a cow?
Lovely brown eyes, big lashes?
437
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:47,714
Big lashes. Yeah.
Could you--? You've seen her?
438
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:51,134
GOAT
♪ Odelay-hee ♪
439
00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:55,221
I got the cow's dinner.
What am I supposed to do with it?
440
00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,182
She was here when I came in.
441
00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:59,309
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
442
00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,370
Wanna, uh, go to a movie or...
443
00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:20,330
grab a steak?
444
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:25,126
[MOOS]
32889
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