All language subtitles for The Munsters - S02E08 - Lilys Star Boarder

Yoo-hoo!

I'm home.

That's what I will
do. I'll redecorate.

We sure could use
the extra money.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

Then we all agree.

Hi, everybody. Herman's home.

Another thing, having a person
here would be a wonderful thing.

I said the breadwinner's here. It'll
be a good thing for the whole family.

I'm home! I'm home! I'm
home! I'm home! I'm home!

Herman, you're here.
Why didn't you let us know?

I was trying... Never mind.
What's going on here?

We've decided to
rent our guest room.

Lily, dear... I am
head of the house...

and there will be no decision
made here without my okay.

The Munsters are not gonna rent
their guest room while I'm still boss.

I declare the issue closed!

Whoever we rent it to, I
sure hope he's a live one.

The head of the house says, "Issue
closed." Erased, stricken from our minds!

Oh.

Here's the ad I
put in this morning.

Is anyone listening to me?
They sure put it in a good spot.

All right. All right. All right.

Nobody here is
listening to me...

and if nobody listens to me, I'm
gonna storm right up to my room.

What was Herman yelling about?

I don't know. Something
about a storm up in his room.

I can't storm right up to my
room. I haven't had din-din.

I just can't understand it.

We've had 27 people
answer our ad...

and not one wants to
come past the front door.

Maybe when they see us
all at once, it scares them off.

Grandpa, how could
we scare anyone off?

Class, Lily, we're dripping with
class. That frightens the common man.

What was that?

It's just Spot.

He's chasing cars
again, being playful.

I'd wish he'd stop
eating those hubcaps.

People will start thinking he's
some kind of a juvenile delinquent.

Spot, scat!

Oh, dear, now he's
stealing car bumpers.

He can't help it. He
has an iron deficiency.

Look...

it's off that nice Mr. Leonard's
car who lives across the street.

You have a room for rent? Yes.
I mean, it's a wonderful room.

With a northern
exposure. I'll take it.

All right, get lost. We've had a
lot of bums before you turn us...

You'll take it?

How do you like this guy?

We hit him with all our class and
sophistication, and he stands his ground.

What kind of work do
you do, Mr... Skinner.

Chester Skinner.
I work at night.

And I also have a very unusual,
but confidential, occupation.

We would be delighted
to have you, Mr. Skinner.

May I show you to
your room? Thank you.

If there's anything I can do
for you, now you please call me.

Thank you very much.

Is there a phone in here? Yes.

We put one in when we
decided to rent the room.

That will save you from running
down to the coffin in the hall.

Thanks again.
You're welcome again.

Hello, boss, this
is Chester Skinner.

Yes, I have the room.

The landlords are a little strange
and the house is like an open grave...

but it's perfect
for our operation.

All right. Everything is
running smoothly so far.

Good. Check with you later.

You mean to say our tenant's
been with us for two whole days...

and he won't tell you
what he does for a living?

That's just plain old sneaky.

Chester. I think
he's just wonderful.

Sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky.

He's so charming, he has
such wonderful manners...

and so handy around the house.
"Chester's so handy around the house."

Chester sounds to
me like a big frump.

When I get home from
school, he plays catch with me...

and he helps me with my homework.
Frump. Frump. Frump. Frump.

Herman, you are jealous.

Heck if I am. Sure you are.

You're jealous 'cause
everybody likes Chester.

I think Grandpa's right, Herman.

I am not jealous.

Why should I care if some...

smooth-mannered, well-talking
tenant moves right in...

and tries to take over my
image as ruler of the roost.

Chester is not trying to take
over, Herman. He's just a nice man.

How nice?

All right, Herman.
Not as nice as you are.

That's better.

Marilyn?

You're wonderfully nice, Uncle
Herman, in a different sort of a way.

That's what I like to hear.

Eddie?

Chester's cool, Dad,
but you're the coolest.

I'll accept that.

Grandpa?

I pass.

Now, I'm warning you, Grandpa.
Don't push me too far or you'll be sorry.

I'm liable to storm right
up to my room again.

Good.

Then I'll eat your dessert.

Before I go to work...

I would like to say to everyone that
I'm sorry the way I acted last night.

I guess I'm just a silly fool
who's starved for affection.

- Sensitive...
- Poor baby.

Actually, I would like to
meet Chester before I go.

I've decided that we should all
be adult about this whole thing.

You can't meet him, dear.
Poor Chester worked all night.

And he said he wanted
to get a good rest...

before he helps me
around the house today.

Fine.

But, let's not get too
adult around here.

Bye, Uncle Herman.
Bye, have a nice day.

I'm going to work now.

It's me, old Herman Munster,
taking off for the parlor.

Here I go leaving for work. I
won't even be back till 6:00...

so I won't be able to see what
goes on around here all day.

Even if somebody wanted
to steal my wife away...

and alienate my whole family
from me, I wouldn't know about it.

'Cause I'll be down at work.

Herman Munster. What
are you shouting about?

You'll wake up
Chester. Was I shouting?

Good morning, all.

Good morning. Good morning.

Chester, would you like
some breakfast? Fine.

Come sit here, Chester.

We have some very tasty
owl's eggs and vulture livers.

That sounds fine, Mrs. Munster.

Call me Lily.

The minute my back
is turned, he sits down

at my place, starts
calling my wife Lily...

and she starts plying
him with delicacies.

There.

Eddie, as soon as I finish
breakfast, I'll walk you to school.

Hey, that'd be
just boss, Chester.

He can't leave it at
merely stealing my wife...

he's got to play up to my son.

Herman Munster... Lily.

Are you spying on me?

Who, me? Yes, you.

You're out here listening because
you're insanely jealous of Chester.

Now, Lily...

how could you say
such a thing, dear?

You know I never get
emotional, fly off the handle...

or lose my control.

I'll kill him, I'll kill him,
I'll kill him, I'll kill him.

Herman Munster, you
stop that this instant...

and you go to work.

Hello, Mrs. Munster.

This is your friendly
national television survey.

We were just wondering if you
were watching Peyton Place.

It isn't on now. I see.

Are you, by any chance, acting
out your own Peyton Place?

Herman Munster, is that you?

No, it's not me, dear.
It's a total stranger.

Herman, why are you
checking up on me?

This is your friendly
national television survey

signing off.

Friendly national
television survey.

Herman, what are we...

What are we sneaking around
outside Chester's door for?

He just drove down to the
store on an errand for Lily.

And if he's gonna
run off with my wife...

I want to make sure
he's a man of principles.

Herman, allow me.

Look.

Well, what do you say now?

Herman, it's probably
just a cigarette lighter.

Oh.

I don't think so.

Let's see. What else
have we got here?

Two cameras, a map.

Grandpa, this smells like
big time syndicate stuff to me.

You know that fellow always had
a definite air of banditry about him.

And to think that
Lily is replacing...

a loyal and faithful husband
with a cheap gangster.

Herman, I hate to agree
with you, but this bum...

is on the wrong side of the law.

Grandpa, this is more
incriminating evidence.

That dirty crook, Chester,
is spying on our neighbors.

Hey, he got these
things trained...

on Mr. Leonard's house.

Since when did Mr. Leonard
start in the fur business?

Mr. Leonard likes
to change jobs a lot.

He says it keeps him free
from the pressures of society.

Wait a minute. I've got it.

That rotten little Chester is
spying on our poor Mr. Leonard...

so he can steal all his furs.

Herman, you are right. That's
why Chester rented this room.

So he could case Mr. Leonard's
house across the street.

Herman Munster.

Are you looking at Mrs. Kelly
doing her deep knee bends again?

Nothing of the kind, dear.

And I would suggest
for your safety...

that you, Marilyn, and
Eddie go to the movies.

What?

Some irregularities in conduct
have cropped up in your...

gigolo star boarder Chester.
Yeah, the bum's a crook.

What are you two
talking about? Lily, dear.

There's going to be a showdown between
the forces of virtue and the forces of sin.

Just like in Dick Tracy.

Hey, everybody, Spot's
been chasing cars again.

And he's eating a little Italian
sports job out in the front yard...

and the guy who was
driving it is really mad.

Eddie, you go down and tell
Spot that if he eats any more cars...

we'll rub his nose
in the transmission.

Eddie, Eddie,
never mind that, son.

I'm counting on you to take the
womenfolk away from the house...

before the showdown. What's
Dad talking about, Mom?

Your father and Grandpa
have some silly notion...

that Chester is some kind
of gangster or something.

Precisely right. A gangster.

And that's why you want
to run away with him.

I'm just a plain,
ordinary guy...

but he's different,
thrilling, dangerous.

And you want to
be his gun molly.

You are just plain jealous.

Come along, Eddie,
Marilyn. We're going shopping.

Herman, I'm sick and tired
of you doubting my love.

Jealousy has turned you into a
suspicious and mistrusting creature.

You're perfectly
welcome, Mr. Leonard.

I was happy to give
you this timely warning.

Hey, that was that goofball
Munster on the phone.

Must have rented his room to a cop
who's been spying on our operation.

Munster thinks he's a crook
trying to get a hold of our furs.

Boys, we gotta start packing
up and get out of here in a hurry.

On the double.

Herman, this time
I've outdone myself.

I've created the perfect trap here
to nab that dirty crook Chester.

Now, first I show
Chester a card trick.

Very cleverly...

I get Chester to select the
card with the cord attached to it.

Now, when the cord is pulled,
this activates the blowtorch.

Come on.

It burns through the rope
holding the battle ax...

What battle ax? That battle ax.

Here's where the anvil
comes in. What anvil?

That anvil.

I don't think you have all the bugs
worked out of your crook trap yet.

Herman, you ninny, you were
standing in the wrong place.

The anvil hits the couch...

which sends it flying
into the air like a seesaw...

sending Chester
flying through the air...

down the trap door
into the dungeon...

where you are waiting.

Goody. Goody. Goody. Goody.

And then once we get him tied up
down there, you know what I'm gonna do?

What? I'm gonna
talk mean to him.

Herman, will you pipe
down. Now let's reset the trap.

Oh, boy, this is
gonna be real boss.

That's got to be Chester now and
we're gonna catch him in our crook trap.

I wish Lily was here
to see us in action.

Will you cool it? You're
gonna blow the whole setup.

Hello, Chester, come
right in. Come right in.

Hello, Grandpa.
Very nice seeing you.

I know you're tired, you've
come home from work...

sit right down here.

I've got a little card
trick I'd like to show you.

I think I've got to get up to
my room. Chester, you can't...

Please. You wouldn't deny
an old man, now, would you?

Go ahead, pick a card.

All right, Grandpa, I'll pick a
card. Boy, is he gonna get it.

Bull's-eye, Grandpa.

Okay, how does that grab
you? You dirty crook, Chester.

Herman, don't bug Chester.

He's gonna be tied up
down there for a while.

Just think of us, Grandpa...

heroes on the side
of law and justice.

Now we call the
police and turn him in.

Maybe, we'll get a
reward and everything.

What if it's Lily?

Wouldn't it be
groovy to tell her...

that her Prince Charming is
nothing but a rat fink crook?

Hello, Lily?

I'm sorry, sir. I thought
you were my wife.

No, I'm sorry. You must
have the wrong number.

I don't know of any Lt. Skinner.

Skinner?

Skinner? That
name sounds familiar.

Isn't that the last name
of our star boarder?

You know, I think you're
right. But Lt. Skinner...

Maybe, he's a Lieutenant in
the Air Force or something.

No, he's not the
up-in-the-air type. Well?

Could he be a lieutenant
in the Salvation Army?

Lieutenant Governor?
Don't be silly.

The only other kind of
lieutenants are... Police lieutenants.

Police lieutenants.
Police lieutenants.

You know something, Grandpa?

If you were a cowboy...

I'd say you just said a
very discouraging word.

Oh.

Hi, dear.

Herman, what's going on? You
have a funny look in your eye.

Well, dear...

Grandpa and I have
something to tell you. What is it?

Tell her, Grandpa.

Not for a million dollars.
Uncle Herman, what is it?

We have a cop tied
up in the dungeon.

What cop? Our star
boarder, Chester.

Oh, no.

What are we going
to do about it, Lily?

I don't know what
you're going to do...

but I'm going down
and untie that poor man.

And then I'm going to try to explain to
him that you are nothing but a dumb...

stupid, foolish,
knot-headed nitwit. Yes, dear.

Oh, oh, oh, dear, if you have
any trouble convincing him...

I'll come right
down and help you.

No!

One lump or two? One, please.

You see, my husband had no
idea that you were a police officer.

I do hope you'll forgive
him. Well, I'd like to.

But, after all, he did let that
fellow, Leonard, get away.

And he and his gang are some of
the biggest fences in the country.

Yoo-hoo!

We're home.

Herman, what have you done now?

We've captured the fur thieves.

That's Leonard and one of
his boys. How did you do it?

Just used the old noodle.

You see, the other
day our pet Spot...

stole the bumper
of Mr. Leonard's car.

I just let him sniff it and
told him to go fetch...

and good old Spot nailed their car
before it got halfway down the block.

That's great. It's too bad you
couldn't nab the other two, though.

I think you'll find that Spot's
detaining them right outside.

Take a look out here.

Good boy, Spot.

As they say on Perry Mason...

I guess that wraps
up another case.