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1
00:00:03,632 --> 00:00:05,243
I think it's really sweet
2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,288
that you're throwing
this jewelry party for Tinsley.
3
00:00:07,419 --> 00:00:09,638
I want my best friend
and my girlfriend
4
00:00:09,769 --> 00:00:11,597
to be able
to hang out together.
5
00:00:11,727 --> 00:00:15,165
We can. I mean, sure, it didn't
go great at that sip 'n' paint.
6
00:00:15,296 --> 00:00:18,038
I brought lemonade,
she brought Banksy.
7
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,518
And you called her Porsche
a "Porsh."
8
00:00:20,648 --> 00:00:22,737
Only poor people do that.
9
00:00:22,868 --> 00:00:24,783
But this is gonna be perfect.
10
00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:27,742
-Just three girlfriends
making friendship bracelets.
-Mm.
11
00:00:27,873 --> 00:00:30,528
-Yeah.
-What could go wrong?
12
00:00:31,572 --> 00:00:34,053
Sorry to barge,
but can someone help with this?
13
00:00:34,183 --> 00:00:35,663
Oh, I'll help.
14
00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:37,709
-I love helping friends.
-Wonderful.
15
00:00:37,839 --> 00:00:40,277
Just bring it in
and put it on the ottoman.
16
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:43,497
BOTH:
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
17
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:47,284
Oh, what is in here? Bricks?
18
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,982
No! Diamonds.
19
00:00:50,112 --> 00:00:52,593
TINSLEY:
Good morning, Tinsley.
20
00:00:52,724 --> 00:00:56,205
You're lovelier
than Princess Dianá.
21
00:00:56,336 --> 00:00:58,338
Whose booty did you have
to plunder to get these?
22
00:01:00,558 --> 00:01:01,906
They're for the jewelry party.
23
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:05,910
Where we dust our jewels.
[scoffs]
24
00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:11,045
But I thought...
friendship bracelets.
25
00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:12,438
Made of string?
26
00:01:12,569 --> 00:01:14,571
String isn't jewels.
27
00:01:14,701 --> 00:01:16,964
You do know that string isn't
jewels, don't you?
28
00:01:17,095 --> 00:01:18,400
We can do both.
29
00:01:18,531 --> 00:01:20,490
You start weaving,
and we'll start
30
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:23,013
dusting this necklace that looks
like it came from the Titanic.
31
00:01:23,144 --> 00:01:25,537
-[laughs]
-It did.
32
00:01:27,626 --> 00:01:29,934
Wow! These are beautiful.
33
00:01:30,064 --> 00:01:31,065
TINSLEY:
You like those?
34
00:01:31,196 --> 00:01:32,589
-Take them.
-Where?
35
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:36,375
Oh, you mean, like, to have.
[laughs]
36
00:01:36,506 --> 00:01:38,551
-No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-Please!
37
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:39,987
No, I couldn't possibly.
38
00:01:40,118 --> 00:01:41,684
I mean,
where would I even put them?
39
00:01:41,814 --> 00:01:44,034
My earring baggie is
already pretty full. [laughs]
40
00:01:44,164 --> 00:01:45,643
Take the earrings.
41
00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:48,255
We'll get you another baggie.
42
00:01:48,386 --> 00:01:51,128
Carly, I swear,
if you don't take those,
43
00:01:51,258 --> 00:01:53,652
I'm gonna toss them
out the window at pigeons.
44
00:01:53,783 --> 00:01:55,567
I beg you.
45
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,830
Harper,
have you ever seen me beg?
46
00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:00,964
Not in a way that is appropriate
to talk about right now.
47
00:02:01,094 --> 00:02:04,924
Carly, say yes. Yes! Or yup.
48
00:02:05,055 --> 00:02:10,103
Or yeah, or suredledee-doo, or
whatever you 99 percenters say.
49
00:02:11,148 --> 00:02:14,717
Okay. [laughs] Suredledee-doo.
50
00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:17,633
Oh, wonderful.
This calls for champagne.
51
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,244
Wow. I hope
these weren't expensive.
52
00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:21,723
I think they were, like, 80.
53
00:02:21,853 --> 00:02:23,768
$80?
54
00:02:23,899 --> 00:02:25,901
No. $80,000.
55
00:02:26,031 --> 00:02:28,599
$80,000?
56
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:29,731
I can't.
57
00:02:29,861 --> 00:02:31,602
Pirates!
58
00:02:33,691 --> 00:02:34,866
♪ I know♪
59
00:02:34,997 --> 00:02:36,694
♪ You see♪
60
00:02:36,825 --> 00:02:39,001
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me♪
61
00:02:39,131 --> 00:02:42,134
♪ And be so wonderful♪
62
00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:45,789
♪ So wake up
the members of my nation♪
63
00:02:45,921 --> 00:02:48,140
♪ It's your time to be♪
64
00:02:48,271 --> 00:02:51,143
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one♪
65
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,450
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side♪
66
00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:57,193
♪ Of every situation♪
67
00:02:57,323 --> 00:02:59,195
♪ Some things are meant to be♪
68
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:02,240
♪ So give your best
and leave the rest to me.♪
69
00:03:05,983 --> 00:03:08,943
And Tinsley was just so happy
to sip on her fabulous wine
70
00:03:09,073 --> 00:03:10,727
and polish her fabulous jewels.
71
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,382
-It was all just so...
-Fabulous?
72
00:03:13,513 --> 00:03:15,428
Exactly.
73
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:17,604
A perfect party.
Thanks, Carly.
74
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,606
I finally feel like
you two are gelling.
75
00:03:19,736 --> 00:03:21,738
-It couldn't have gone better.
-Totally.
76
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,045
-I only fainted once.
-[laughs loudly]
77
00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:25,873
Hey. That's not funny.
78
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,397
-I could have hit my head.
-You didhit your head.
79
00:03:28,528 --> 00:03:29,790
What?
80
00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:33,489
No, I'm not laughing
at your hilarious head injury.
81
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:37,449
Did you know if you type
"funny cat videos" into Google,
82
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,800
there's a lot of stuff?
83
00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:43,019
I'm making a piece
for the Seattle Cat Museum's
84
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,326
-fundraising gala.
-Hmm.
85
00:03:45,457 --> 00:03:47,067
"The 20th annual Catillion
86
00:03:47,197 --> 00:03:49,504
benefiting the cats of Seattle."
87
00:03:49,635 --> 00:03:51,506
This year's guest of honor
is someone named
88
00:03:51,637 --> 00:03:53,595
-Archduke Lucius Snibbington.
SPENCER: Hmm.
89
00:03:53,726 --> 00:03:55,031
Snibbles the cat?!
90
00:03:55,162 --> 00:03:56,729
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
91
00:03:56,859 --> 00:03:58,644
Spencer's gonna meet Snibbles.
92
00:03:58,774 --> 00:04:00,950
Why don't you come with? You and
Freddie can meet Snibbles, too.
93
00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,997
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
94
00:04:04,127 --> 00:04:05,651
Spencer, how about
you and Millicent just go?
95
00:04:05,781 --> 00:04:07,000
I feel like you two should
spend more time together.
96
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,002
Ah, we just hugged.
97
00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:12,135
I got to go. Tinsley's making
her servants bite each other,
98
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:14,442
and I got $20 on Wellington.
99
00:04:14,573 --> 00:04:16,662
Thanks again for the party,
Carly.
100
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:17,837
And I'm glad
you got a little something
101
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,534
for yourself, too.
102
00:04:19,665 --> 00:04:22,102
Yes, a little something.
103
00:04:22,232 --> 00:04:24,103
A meaningless trinket.
104
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,540
A trifle, really. Bye. [laughs]
105
00:04:26,671 --> 00:04:28,586
It is not a trifle!
106
00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:32,328
I am in a deep,
dark hole of anxiety.
107
00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:34,592
Like the summer
I spent in that well?
108
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:39,379
No, like the night Tinsley
gave me $80,000 earrings.
109
00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:41,642
-Lemony Snicket.
-Whoa, mama.
-Pirates.
110
00:04:41,773 --> 00:04:43,731
What am I supposed
to do with them?
111
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,603
Not go outside,
that's for sure.
112
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,648
You're just going to leave them
in a drawer forever?
113
00:04:47,779 --> 00:04:49,868
No! I have to buy a safe.
114
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,306
I'm seeing a Groupon
for two-for-one safes.
115
00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:55,134
Does anyone else need a safe?
116
00:04:55,264 --> 00:04:57,789
Hey,
you're overthinking this, okay?
117
00:04:57,919 --> 00:04:59,965
I'm sure Tinsley wanted you
to have the earrings, and...
118
00:05:00,095 --> 00:05:01,749
Holy friggin' what?!
119
00:05:03,055 --> 00:05:05,056
You're right.
You have no business with those.
120
00:05:05,186 --> 00:05:06,971
-Maybe I can borrow...
-Get back!
121
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:10,061
These are precious gems.
122
00:05:11,889 --> 00:05:14,718
Uh-oh. Look,
she's gone full Gollum!
123
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,763
How can I sleep
in these earrings
124
00:05:16,894 --> 00:05:19,461
knowing how much good
$80,000 could do?
125
00:05:19,592 --> 00:05:20,724
You're going to sleep in them?
126
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,726
No, I'm going to leave them out
127
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:27,121
for the burglars who watched me
get two safes delivered. Think.
128
00:05:28,514 --> 00:05:31,343
Look at these poor cats,
living on the streets,
129
00:05:31,473 --> 00:05:33,606
probably turning
to booze and drugs.
130
00:05:33,737 --> 00:05:36,478
Yeah. Just like the ones
in the musical.
131
00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:38,437
I know.
132
00:05:38,568 --> 00:05:41,005
I can donate the earrings
to the silent auction.
133
00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:43,485
Then the cats get
food and shelter, I can relax,
134
00:05:43,616 --> 00:05:45,878
and Tinsley never has to know.
135
00:05:46,009 --> 00:05:48,881
Goodbye, my precious.
136
00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:50,840
Great. Let's go down
to the Cat Museum
137
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:52,929
and make the donation right now.
138
00:05:53,059 --> 00:05:54,974
I bet Snibbles will want
to meet the young girl
139
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,193
who gave such an amazing gift.
140
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,847
I'm that girl.
141
00:05:57,977 --> 00:06:00,371
We'll discuss the details
in the car.
142
00:06:06,377 --> 00:06:09,249
How long did it take me
to get that smoothie?
143
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,121
[grunting]
144
00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,689
Greetings, peasant.
145
00:06:13,819 --> 00:06:15,429
I present to you
the newly-constructed
146
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,301
Edin-fur-a Castle.
147
00:06:17,431 --> 00:06:19,172
Ah, impressive.
148
00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:20,739
Why aren't you coming
to the gala?
149
00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,523
Is it because
you don't look good in a tux?
150
00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:24,263
I look bad in a men's tux.
151
00:06:24,394 --> 00:06:26,570
I look great in a youth XL.
152
00:06:26,701 --> 00:06:28,441
It's actually because...
153
00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:30,879
I'm kind of afraid of cats.
154
00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:33,142
I guess it all started
when I was a kid.
155
00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:34,622
Remember that cat
that was trapped
156
00:06:34,752 --> 00:06:36,101
in the walls of the Bushwell?
157
00:06:36,232 --> 00:06:38,756
I used to hear it yowling
in the night.
158
00:06:38,887 --> 00:06:40,410
Sometimes I still can.
159
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,455
You know what you need?
160
00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:44,980
Feline exposure therapy.
161
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,764
-What is feline expos...?
-[yells]
162
00:06:46,895 --> 00:06:48,766
[screams]
163
00:06:48,897 --> 00:06:50,855
I don't like it!
164
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:52,552
I don't like it.
165
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,685
Well, then you're gonna hate
when I rub my ass on you.
166
00:06:57,079 --> 00:06:58,689
That's what cats do.
167
00:07:02,127 --> 00:07:05,042
And this is
the Paw-trait Gallery,
168
00:07:05,173 --> 00:07:07,044
where we'll be hosting
our silent auction
169
00:07:07,175 --> 00:07:09,394
and our meet-and-greet
with our VIP--
170
00:07:09,525 --> 00:07:12,702
very important pussycat.
171
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,791
Is that where Snibbles
is gonna be?
172
00:07:14,922 --> 00:07:16,837
Why don't you go take
a closer look?
173
00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:20,579
This is the best day ever.
174
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:22,712
Wow, Myrtle.
175
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,714
Thank you for that private tour
of the Cat Museum.
176
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,890
I had no idea
there was a cat pope.
177
00:07:27,021 --> 00:07:29,023
Who do you think converted
the Swedes?
178
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:34,028
I'm just so relieved
that you accepted my donation.
179
00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:37,422
$80,000 earrings
are just not me.
180
00:07:37,553 --> 00:07:40,817
I mean, who am I?
The cat pope's mistress?
181
00:07:40,948 --> 00:07:42,645
We need more young people
182
00:07:42,776 --> 00:07:44,647
to take an interest
in feline issues.
183
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:48,955
It can't all be skateboards
and climate change.
184
00:07:50,217 --> 00:07:52,915
Your donation will save
at least a dozen street cats
185
00:07:53,046 --> 00:07:55,048
from booze and drugs.
186
00:07:57,354 --> 00:07:59,269
God bless you, dear.
187
00:08:01,837 --> 00:08:03,143
Wow, Carly.
188
00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:04,884
You got me behind-the-scenes
Snibbles content,
189
00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:06,276
and you helped a charity.
190
00:08:06,407 --> 00:08:08,322
Color me almost impressed.
191
00:08:08,452 --> 00:08:11,717
That was the sweetest
backhanded compliment ever.
192
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,068
I did a good thing.
193
00:08:17,157 --> 00:08:19,855
I did a good thing.
194
00:08:19,986 --> 00:08:21,727
You did a very bad thing!
195
00:08:21,857 --> 00:08:23,729
A very bad thing!
196
00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:30,647
She didn't even want
the earrings.
197
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,388
She literally said she was going
to throw them at pigeons.
198
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,913
That's just an expression
she overuses because she thinks
199
00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:37,567
that's what regular people do
with their trash!
200
00:08:37,697 --> 00:08:40,440
She probably doesn't even
remember the earrings.
201
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:44,096
And besides, there's no way
she will ever find out
202
00:08:44,226 --> 00:08:45,401
that I donated them
to the Catillion.
203
00:08:45,532 --> 00:08:49,449
[gasps]
We're all going
to the Catillion!
204
00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:51,364
What? How?
205
00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:52,539
What?
206
00:08:52,669 --> 00:08:54,280
How?
207
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,544
Where is that little bebé
you spend so much time with?
208
00:08:57,674 --> 00:09:01,461
Millicent? Homework, a movie.
Some type of movie homework.
209
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,202
I don't know.
210
00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:06,552
You're going
to make a great second mom.
211
00:09:06,682 --> 00:09:08,597
Well, drat. I got stuck
212
00:09:08,728 --> 00:09:10,599
in some chitty-chatty
with the little thing,
213
00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:13,428
and she was droning on and on
about some Catillion.
214
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,475
So I bought a seat on the board
of the cat charity
215
00:09:16,605 --> 00:09:19,652
and a VIP table at the gala
so we can all go with her.
216
00:09:19,783 --> 00:09:23,874
The whole friend group,
which includes me. [laughs]
217
00:09:24,004 --> 00:09:26,615
Oh, good. The thing
I wanted so desperately
218
00:09:26,746 --> 00:09:29,531
to happen is happening.
219
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:34,798
And the best part is, you'll get
to debut your new earrings.
220
00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:36,321
Do you know what this calls for?
221
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:40,281
-More champagne?
-More champagne! Oh!
222
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:43,632
-See? We're clicking.
-[laughs nervously]
223
00:09:43,763 --> 00:09:45,504
Harper, I promise you
I will get those earrings back
224
00:09:45,634 --> 00:09:46,983
beforethe gala.
225
00:09:47,113 --> 00:09:50,203
And I promise you...
you'd better.
226
00:09:54,991 --> 00:09:56,993
Spencer? You here?
227
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,910
Dude, why are the lights off?
228
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,999
-[meows]
-[screams gibberish]
229
00:10:03,129 --> 00:10:05,131
Let the exposure therapy begin.
230
00:10:05,262 --> 00:10:07,264
Check this out.
231
00:10:10,397 --> 00:10:12,878
-[groans] No, thank you.
-Okay.
232
00:10:13,009 --> 00:10:14,227
♪ La-la-la-la...♪
233
00:10:14,358 --> 00:10:15,620
-Attack!
-[shrieks]
234
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,448
No, no, stop!
235
00:10:17,578 --> 00:10:19,232
No!
236
00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:21,582
Spencer!
237
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,672
No, no, don't you do it.
238
00:10:24,803 --> 00:10:25,891
Stop. You stop.
239
00:10:26,022 --> 00:10:27,239
Don't you... Stop.
240
00:10:28,806 --> 00:10:30,634
That was your vase.
241
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,593
Meow! Okay, walk.
242
00:10:33,724 --> 00:10:35,508
[Freddie panting]
243
00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:38,729
I'm doing this for Millicent.
Aah! Oh.
244
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,600
I'm doing this for Millicent.
I'm doing this for Millicent.
245
00:10:40,731 --> 00:10:42,646
[both scream]
246
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,996
How do you stop me
from scratching your face off?!
247
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:47,390
-Answer now!
-I don't know!
248
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,262
Take control,
or I will feast on your blood!
249
00:10:51,394 --> 00:10:53,439
Um... I'm in charge!
250
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,224
-Excellent.
-What?!
251
00:10:56,268 --> 00:10:58,401
You understand me
a little bit better now.
252
00:10:58,531 --> 00:11:00,403
You will do as I command!
253
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,884
Oh, that was a mistake.
254
00:11:03,014 --> 00:11:04,059
Huh?
255
00:11:04,189 --> 00:11:07,365
-No! No!
-[laughing]
256
00:11:07,496 --> 00:11:09,237
-Yeah, what do I want?
-To ruin lives?
257
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:11,456
To make me pee myself?
258
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,155
-Why is this so fun for you?!
-[laughing]
259
00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:16,244
[gasps]
You want to play.
260
00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:18,333
That's exactly what I want.
261
00:11:18,463 --> 00:11:20,509
Does this mean I'm ready?
262
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:24,121
-Not even close. Yay!
-No! No!
263
00:11:25,906 --> 00:11:28,691
It'll be easy
to get the earrings back.
264
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,259
The little old lady in charge of
the auction is obsessed with me.
265
00:11:31,389 --> 00:11:33,261
Little old ladies always are.
266
00:11:33,391 --> 00:11:35,393
-It's 'cause we speak
the same language.
-Oh.
267
00:11:35,524 --> 00:11:37,221
It's called Granny Chat.
268
00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:40,746
Sometimes
I wonder why we're friends.
269
00:11:40,877 --> 00:11:43,227
Okay, so I told Tinsley
all I wanted
270
00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:46,100
for our 14-week anniversary was
to reunite The Beatles.
271
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:47,709
She doesn't know
two of them are dead,
272
00:11:47,839 --> 00:11:49,406
so we have some time.
273
00:11:49,537 --> 00:11:51,626
You have
to get those earrings back,
274
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,149
even if you have to steal them.
275
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,979
Stealing? But that's... wrong.
276
00:11:58,241 --> 00:12:00,896
Why arewe friends?
277
00:12:01,027 --> 00:12:03,464
Carly Shay, my angel.
278
00:12:03,594 --> 00:12:04,900
[Carly laughs softly]
279
00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:06,815
It's almost too easy.
280
00:12:06,946 --> 00:12:08,208
Hi, Myrtle.
281
00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:11,646
Just in time.
Look what I had made.
282
00:12:11,776 --> 00:12:13,474
-Wow.
-I hope you don't mind,
283
00:12:13,604 --> 00:12:15,824
we photoshopped in
little Butterscotch.
284
00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:19,393
This tiny guy hasn't met
a street drug he doesn't like.
285
00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:22,309
I'm talking tango, jackpot,
study buddies,
286
00:12:22,439 --> 00:12:25,703
zow, kangaroo, Bob Cratchit.
287
00:12:27,009 --> 00:12:28,444
And thanks to your donation,
288
00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:31,012
we can finally afford
to send him to rehab.
289
00:12:31,143 --> 00:12:33,014
Say "thank you," Butterscotch.
290
00:12:33,145 --> 00:12:35,364
[high-pitched voice]:
"I love you, Carly.
291
00:12:35,495 --> 00:12:39,238
You saved me
when no one else would."
292
00:12:39,368 --> 00:12:42,937
I love you, too, buddy.
293
00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:45,940
Okay, funny story
about the earrings.
294
00:12:46,810 --> 00:12:49,465
I kinda need 'em back.
[laughs]
295
00:12:49,596 --> 00:12:51,554
Right?
296
00:12:51,685 --> 00:12:53,774
So get this.
297
00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:57,473
My friend who gave me
the earrings would be really mad
298
00:12:57,604 --> 00:12:59,606
if she knew
that I just gave them away,
299
00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:02,304
and I don't want that. [laughs]
300
00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:04,567
I'll tell you
what you don't want.
301
00:13:04,698 --> 00:13:07,353
You don't want to wake up
in the middle of the night,
302
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:09,745
cold and alone
on a road you've never seen,
303
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,878
with no phone, no car,
304
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:15,925
no one to call for help,
and no way to get home.
305
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,059
In what situation
would that happen?
306
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:24,499
Let the cats keep the emeralds,
and you never have to find out.
307
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,545
Come on, Butterscotch.
308
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:30,592
Let's finish
setting up our auction.
309
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:37,121
Bad news.
There is no way that I can...
310
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:41,038
Gah! Tinsley! Gah!
311
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,909
You look so beautiful.
312
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,825
Gah! So do you.
313
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:46,956
Is that a thing
we're saying now?
314
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,610
We're giving it a spin.
315
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:51,612
Gah! Did you hear
about The Beatles?
316
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,571
So sad.
317
00:13:53,701 --> 00:13:56,748
Apparently, two of 'em died.
318
00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:00,578
Carly, I just want to say,
about the earrings I gave you...
319
00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:03,972
Oh, you mean my most favorite
gift I've ever received? Go on.
320
00:14:04,103 --> 00:14:06,584
They're my way of saying
how much it means to me
321
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:09,239
that you've made such an effort
to be my friend.
322
00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:11,632
-Oh.
-Whenever you wear them,
323
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:16,072
think of my Naná Edná,
who died clutching them.
324
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:18,900
Her most prized possession.
325
00:14:19,031 --> 00:14:21,077
Toodles.
326
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,168
I'm gonna steal those earrings.
327
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,344
That's why we're friends.
328
00:14:33,697 --> 00:14:35,481
We're gonna pull a jewel heist
at a cat ball?
329
00:14:35,612 --> 00:14:38,136
I guess I owe that carnival
fortune teller an apology.
330
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:41,139
She told me
I'd die in a parade accident.
331
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:43,707
Doesn't sound so bad right now.
332
00:14:43,837 --> 00:14:45,883
Okay, Harper, you distract
Tinsley from the auction table
333
00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:47,841
while we pull the job.
334
00:14:47,972 --> 00:14:49,234
Pull the job?
335
00:14:49,365 --> 00:14:50,714
That's how criminals talk, doll.
336
00:14:50,844 --> 00:14:52,890
With moxie.
337
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:54,326
[British accent]:
Oi, can I talk like
338
00:14:54,457 --> 00:14:56,328
I'm in a Guy Ritchie movie,
love?
339
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,810
[regular voice]:
Okay, I'll talk like me.
340
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,159
Millicent, you're on Myrtle.
341
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,596
-Granny Chat her up.
-What?
342
00:15:03,727 --> 00:15:05,685
Talk about things she knows.
Why is it so cold?
343
00:15:05,816 --> 00:15:08,558
What's wrong with
your generation? World War I.
344
00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,602
I'll buy the earrings for you
345
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,691
if you can name three countries
in that war.
346
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:17,131
Spencer, you're gonna create
a massive distraction.
347
00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:19,045
-I was think...
-Bup, bup, bup.
348
00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:20,873
I don't need tips on how to
become the center of attention.
349
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,223
Carly, you saw
how I overshadowed you
350
00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:24,877
in all of our family photos.
351
00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:28,446
You don't need me to do anything
with cats, do you?
352
00:15:28,577 --> 00:15:31,188
Not that that would be a problem
if you did. I'm very brave.
353
00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:33,408
You're gonna hack
into the museum's security,
354
00:15:33,538 --> 00:15:34,844
disable the alarms
and the cameras
355
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:37,412
so I don't get caught.
You have your laptop, right?
356
00:15:37,542 --> 00:15:39,762
What? Why would I bring
a computer to a...?
357
00:15:39,892 --> 00:15:41,546
Yeah, I brought it.
358
00:15:41,677 --> 00:15:43,679
Once the alarm's off,
I'll grab the earrings,
359
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:45,550
wear them while I chat
with Tinsley, fake appendicitis,
360
00:15:45,681 --> 00:15:47,248
and then put the earrings
back on the table
361
00:15:47,378 --> 00:15:48,901
just in time for the auction.
362
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,250
Harper wins, the cats win,
363
00:15:50,379 --> 00:15:52,382
even that bitch Myrtle wins.
364
00:15:52,513 --> 00:15:53,818
It's foolproof.
365
00:15:53,949 --> 00:15:56,865
I foresee no issues
with this plan at all.
366
00:16:00,999 --> 00:16:02,131
You all set?
367
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:05,352
I am cool as a cucumber,
daddy-o.
368
00:16:05,482 --> 00:16:07,397
Aw. Thanks for getting in
on my moxie.
369
00:16:07,528 --> 00:16:08,485
[both chuckle]
370
00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:09,486
You're a square gee.
371
00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:11,009
Oh. [laughs]
372
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:14,752
[classical music playing]
373
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:16,972
Keep it together, Mills.
374
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,017
He's just a cat.
375
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,019
Lower your eyes.
376
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,326
You should all be bowing.
377
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,943
Remember when you said
more young people need to take
378
00:16:33,074 --> 00:16:35,946
an interest in feline issues?
I'm 12, start talking.
379
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:39,733
It all began a long time ago
when a young cat named Petey
380
00:16:39,863 --> 00:16:43,258
helped the Wright Brothers
invent jazz.
381
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,221
Here's to the kitties
that live in our cities.
382
00:16:49,351 --> 00:16:51,310
Now let's show them our...
383
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,312
-Harper!
-Generosities.
384
00:16:53,442 --> 00:16:54,574
[Tinsley laughs]
385
00:16:54,704 --> 00:16:55,749
[hisses]
386
00:16:55,878 --> 00:16:57,316
[growls]
387
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,973
Adios, cameras.
388
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:07,108
Why is he looking at me?
389
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:12,895
[Scottish accent]:
Welcome, lads and ladies.
390
00:17:13,026 --> 00:17:15,768
I know you're all here
to honor Archduke Snibbington,
391
00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:20,859
aka Snibbles, but you've not yet
met his court.
392
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:23,558
[cats mewing]
393
00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:24,646
-[Freddie screams]
-[crowd exclaiming]
394
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,040
[Spencer laughs]
395
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:29,651
Yes, run, Cat Sajak!
396
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,653
Go, Puma Thurman!
397
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,308
Flee, Leonardo DeCatsmeow!
398
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:37,442
-Oh, I am their god!
-[mewing]
399
00:17:39,531 --> 00:17:41,533
Okay, you mugs.
400
00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:43,665
It's go time.
401
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,885
Need to disable... alarm.
402
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:47,930
[cat yowls]
403
00:17:48,061 --> 00:17:50,977
They just want to play.
They just want to play.
404
00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:55,023
-[mewing]
-[Freddie whimpering]
405
00:17:57,461 --> 00:17:58,505
[alarm sounding]
406
00:17:58,636 --> 00:18:00,725
Thief, robber,
407
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,249
dog lover for all I know.
408
00:18:04,206 --> 00:18:07,035
Harper, why are my earrings
at the silent auction?
409
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:09,299
[gasps]
Did Carly give them away?!
410
00:18:09,429 --> 00:18:12,040
I can't lie to you, my sweet.
411
00:18:12,171 --> 00:18:14,478
I have no idea.
412
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:17,655
-Tinsley, I can explain.
-This one really hurt, Carly.
413
00:18:17,785 --> 00:18:19,961
And I've had Gloria Vanderbilt
spike a volleyball
414
00:18:20,092 --> 00:18:21,963
straight into my face!
415
00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:27,708
Well, feline exposure therapy
was a failure.
416
00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:30,232
And I rubbed my butt on you
and everything.
417
00:18:30,363 --> 00:18:32,625
Yeah, you're a good friend.
418
00:18:32,756 --> 00:18:35,019
-Aw.
-I know. I don't say it enough,
419
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:36,803
-but I really do appreciate
you trying...
-No, shut up, it's a cat.
420
00:18:36,934 --> 00:18:38,414
-What?
-[meows]
421
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:41,678
It worked!
422
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,375
[guttural groaning]
423
00:18:43,506 --> 00:18:45,812
Okay, I can see by your face
it did not work.
424
00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:48,728
This hell fiend just crawled
into my lap
425
00:18:48,859 --> 00:18:50,861
because I'm holding his cushion.
426
00:18:50,991 --> 00:18:54,952
Get a camera and Millicent.
Get Millicent right now!
427
00:18:56,257 --> 00:18:59,435
So, nine lives, huh?
428
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:02,133
That's nice to have
in your back pocket.
429
00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:06,050
You found Snibbles!
430
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,662
This is the best day ever,
and you're the best dad ever.
431
00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:11,185
[Freddie gasps]
432
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,447
SPENCER:
Okay.
433
00:19:12,577 --> 00:19:15,885
Great. Now let's do a silly one.
434
00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,408
[Freddie whimpers]
435
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,675
We can still get
the earrings back.
436
00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:26,591
Do you know how
to do an Act of Congress?
437
00:19:26,722 --> 00:19:28,071
Please stop.
438
00:19:29,159 --> 00:19:30,769
I appreciate you trying,
439
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,684
but you and Tinsley are just
too different to be friends.
440
00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:34,207
It's fine.
441
00:19:34,338 --> 00:19:37,341
No. We can make this work.
442
00:19:37,472 --> 00:19:38,821
I'll just hang out
with you two separately.
443
00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:40,910
Tinsley and I will vacation
in St. Barts,
444
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,347
and you and I will throw
our trash at pigeons.
445
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:47,264
You are easily one of the most
awful people I've ever met.
446
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,919
You have ruined this event.
447
00:19:50,049 --> 00:19:53,617
And if Butterscotch relapses,
that's on you.
448
00:19:54,705 --> 00:19:57,012
Dang, no need
to bring Butterscotch into this.
449
00:19:57,142 --> 00:19:58,535
Who's Butterscotch?
450
00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:01,451
Carly's tiny boyfriend
with the fedoras?
451
00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:03,932
Perhaps you're really the one
to blame.
452
00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:06,630
We never should have given you
a seat on the board.
453
00:20:06,761 --> 00:20:09,154
I was beguiled by your pretty
face and your grotesque fortune,
454
00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:10,591
but apparently
you don't have the heart
455
00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:12,375
or the integrity
to represent our...
456
00:20:12,506 --> 00:20:15,247
Myrtle, that is enough!
457
00:20:15,378 --> 00:20:17,249
You can say what you want
about me,
458
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:21,558
but Tinsley has been nothing
but generous and gracious to me,
459
00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:23,952
to your charity,
and to the cats.
460
00:20:24,082 --> 00:20:27,477
You are...
461
00:20:28,913 --> 00:20:30,088
...mean!
462
00:20:30,828 --> 00:20:32,526
[hisses]
463
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:36,529
Tinsley, I am so sorry
464
00:20:36,659 --> 00:20:38,400
that I gave away
your grandmother's earrings.
465
00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:40,097
All I ever wanted was
for the three of us
466
00:20:40,228 --> 00:20:42,012
to be able to hang out together.
467
00:20:42,143 --> 00:20:44,232
Carly, you strange little duck.
468
00:20:44,362 --> 00:20:45,973
We come from different worlds,
469
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:47,931
but you stood up for me,
and that's what matters.
470
00:20:48,062 --> 00:20:50,194
That's what matters? It would
have been cool to know that
471
00:20:50,325 --> 00:20:51,805
before I committed
grand larceny.
472
00:20:51,935 --> 00:20:54,634
You didn't commit.
You attempted.
473
00:20:54,764 --> 00:20:56,374
Well, I'm committed
to buying the earrings
474
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,681
for my dear friend Carly.
475
00:20:58,812 --> 00:21:01,292
Naná Edná would have loved
your moxie.
476
00:21:01,423 --> 00:21:05,253
Well, I bet Naná and nan-I
would have been great friends.
477
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:08,952
She also said you can have the
earrings. So what do you say?
478
00:21:10,171 --> 00:21:12,173
I know, but now I'm gonna have
to get a bigger baggie.
479
00:21:13,217 --> 00:21:15,088
I mean, thank you!
480
00:21:15,218 --> 00:21:17,307
Oh! [laughs]
481
00:21:19,353 --> 00:21:22,008
-You look beautiful.
-Thanks.
482
00:21:22,138 --> 00:21:23,705
-I feel beautiful.
-Hmm.
483
00:21:23,836 --> 00:21:25,751
I get so tired of the food
at these things.
484
00:21:25,881 --> 00:21:27,230
It's always the same.
485
00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:30,843
Yes, the same old...
saucer of milk?
486
00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:33,149
How are we supposed to...?
487
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,761
[gulping]
488
00:21:35,891 --> 00:21:37,719
I like it.
489
00:21:40,809 --> 00:21:42,550
[all gulping]
490
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,234
Ooh!
35719
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