Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,693 --> 00:00:06,928
Good morning, Mr. Mint.
2
00:00:07,028 --> 00:00:10,596
Here's your breakfast,
Radical Rosemary.
3
00:00:10,697 --> 00:00:13,866
Rise and shine, Jim.
4
00:00:13,966 --> 00:00:17,567
You're giving off very strong
lonely widow vibes.
5
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:21,470
I'm watering my plants
for my new iCarly PlantCam.
6
00:00:21,569 --> 00:00:24,304
It's a livestream so viewers
can pop in at any time
7
00:00:24,404 --> 00:00:25,572
and check on their progress.
8
00:00:25,672 --> 00:00:28,274
It's become something
of a soap opera.
9
00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:30,242
Yeah, I can tell by looking
at his leaves,
10
00:00:30,342 --> 00:00:32,476
Jim is the evil twin.
11
00:00:33,778 --> 00:00:35,511
Why are you dressed
like the Grim Reaper
12
00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:36,645
on casual Friday?
13
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:38,413
I am trying on my new outfit
14
00:00:38,513 --> 00:00:40,514
for when Granddad Shay
visits next week.
15
00:00:40,614 --> 00:00:42,682
I'm hoping if I dress
like an old person,
16
00:00:42,783 --> 00:00:43,950
it'll help us bond.
17
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:45,351
I'm also gonna dye
my hair white.
18
00:00:45,451 --> 00:00:46,885
Why would you do that
when you could just stop
19
00:00:46,985 --> 00:00:48,652
dying it brown?
20
00:00:49,787 --> 00:00:50,987
Just be cool.
21
00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:52,455
We haven't seen Granddad
in forever,
22
00:00:52,555 --> 00:00:54,790
and I really want this visit
to be a good time.
23
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:56,523
He's like the only family
we have.
24
00:00:57,759 --> 00:00:58,992
He's not the only
family we have.
25
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,693
We also have dad
and that lady
26
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,995
who claimed to be our sister
right when she needed a kidney.
27
00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:10,099
Granddad?
What are you doing here?
28
00:01:11,199 --> 00:01:13,367
I realize I'm a week early.
29
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:16,402
Traffic was a lot better
than I expected.
30
00:01:17,436 --> 00:01:19,637
Oh, Carly!
31
00:01:19,738 --> 00:01:21,072
My little gumdrop.
32
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:24,040
It's been quite a while.
I've really missed you.
33
00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:25,975
Aw, me too, Granddad.
34
00:01:26,075 --> 00:01:27,976
Spencer.
35
00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:30,610
So close, we don't even need
a nickname.
36
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:32,712
Hey, let's all go around
and say what we like
37
00:01:32,812 --> 00:01:35,014
about each other's life choices.
38
00:01:35,914 --> 00:01:37,215
Patches on your elbows?
39
00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:39,750
- Huh?
- Oh, do you need a loan?
40
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,085
No, Spencer spent two years
41
00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:45,586
decorating this
whole place himself.
42
00:01:45,686 --> 00:01:48,688
He picked all the furniture,
every tabletop,
43
00:01:48,789 --> 00:01:50,055
every light fixture.
44
00:01:50,155 --> 00:01:51,656
Impressive.
45
00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:54,192
I did two tours in Vietnam.
46
00:01:54,292 --> 00:01:55,558
Well, I haven't just decorated.
47
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,160
Lately I've been spending
most of my time
48
00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:58,995
focusing on my new business.
49
00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:01,396
That's right,
I have a business.
50
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,662
It's new.
51
00:02:02,763 --> 00:02:04,564
I do business there.
52
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:10,134
You wanna see
my coin collection?
53
00:02:11,535 --> 00:02:13,837
I know you see ♪
54
00:02:13,937 --> 00:02:16,405
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
55
00:02:16,505 --> 00:02:19,807
And be so wonderful ♪
56
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:24,043
♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
57
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,710
It's your time to be ♪
58
00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:28,512
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
59
00:02:28,612 --> 00:02:31,280
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
60
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:34,481
Of every situation ♪
61
00:02:34,581 --> 00:02:36,483
♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪
62
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,352
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me. ♪
63
00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:43,788
What do you need,
Radical Rosemary?
64
00:02:43,888 --> 00:02:46,023
More water?
Less water?
65
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:47,990
Sparkling water?
Use your words!
66
00:02:49,357 --> 00:02:52,659
I'm so busy.
Work texts, PlantCam,
67
00:02:52,759 --> 00:02:54,794
shopping for wigs that,
let's face it,
68
00:02:54,894 --> 00:02:56,728
I'm never gonna buy.
69
00:02:56,829 --> 00:02:59,330
Harper keeps saying
that I should get an assistant.
70
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,664
But it usually only comes up
when it's her turn
71
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,333
to unload the dishwasher.
72
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,301
I just wish I had more time
to spend with you, Granddad.
73
00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:09,036
Don't worry about me, Carly.
74
00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:12,104
Since I retired, I've gotten
used to being lonely and bored.
75
00:03:12,204 --> 00:03:14,072
I spend most of my days
watching re-runs
76
00:03:14,172 --> 00:03:16,907
of Third Rock from the Sun.
77
00:03:17,007 --> 00:03:18,275
Let me go
through my schedule
78
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:20,676
and find time for us
to spend together.
79
00:03:20,776 --> 00:03:23,510
Uh... no.
80
00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:24,711
Not then.
81
00:03:25,712 --> 00:03:29,048
Why did I write "panic attack"
with a smiley face?
82
00:03:29,148 --> 00:03:31,215
Carly, you have no system.
83
00:03:31,315 --> 00:03:33,416
Here, let me
show you mine.
84
00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:37,453
Those all just say
"watch Third Rock from the Sun."
85
00:03:37,553 --> 00:03:38,920
If they stop
86
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,587
rerunning that show,
I don't know what I'll do.
87
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:44,523
Granddad, that system
is actually amazing.
88
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:47,659
Wait.
You should be my assistant!
89
00:03:47,759 --> 00:03:49,060
Think about it.
90
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,594
You're bored,
you're super organized,
91
00:03:51,694 --> 00:03:54,029
and you love unloading
the dishwasher.
92
00:03:54,129 --> 00:03:55,763
Unless you think
it'd be weird?
93
00:03:55,864 --> 00:03:58,899
No, I think it'd be a great way
for us to spend time together.
94
00:03:58,999 --> 00:04:00,867
I'll start right now.
95
00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:02,601
Clock me in, Gumdrop.
96
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,135
Also, when's lunch?
97
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:08,304
Why do you need
to call your doctor
98
00:04:08,404 --> 00:04:10,072
about an irregular cycle?
99
00:04:10,172 --> 00:04:13,007
Is your Peloton broken?
100
00:04:13,107 --> 00:04:15,842
There it is.
There's the weird part.
101
00:04:19,411 --> 00:04:22,146
Now, the menu
is not finalized yet,
102
00:04:22,246 --> 00:04:23,380
but check this out.
103
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,614
I took my smoothie pops,
aka "smops,"
104
00:04:25,714 --> 00:04:27,648
and I made them
with juice.
105
00:04:27,748 --> 00:04:30,684
Behold the J-Smop!
106
00:04:34,253 --> 00:04:36,754
So, they're just Popsicles?
107
00:04:36,855 --> 00:04:39,323
Yeah, but I copyrighted J-Smops.
108
00:04:40,423 --> 00:04:41,757
Okay, I have to go.
109
00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:43,725
I'm auditioning hamsters
for a therapy position,
110
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,093
and parking's a nightmare.
111
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:46,827
How do you audition hamsters
for therapy?
112
00:04:46,927 --> 00:04:48,328
Oh, you'd be surprised.
113
00:04:48,428 --> 00:04:50,796
Some hamsters can be
more empathetic than others.
114
00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,763
I'm just kidding.
I buy a bunch of hamsters,
115
00:04:52,864 --> 00:04:55,299
and the ones who don't run away
get the gig.
116
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,633
Yeah, you better go.
117
00:04:57,733 --> 00:04:59,035
Finding a parking spot
in Seattle
118
00:04:59,135 --> 00:05:00,368
is like finding
a quiet Aries.
119
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,736
Right.
120
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,737
So true!
121
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,874
Don't even get me started
on how an Aries gets gas!
122
00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:13,676
Okay, I'll see you guys later.
123
00:05:13,776 --> 00:05:16,345
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye, Pearl.
124
00:05:16,444 --> 00:05:17,946
Total Aquarius move.
125
00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:20,614
- Not that he would know.
- Yeah, not that he would know.
126
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,815
Agreeing with Millicent
makes me feel young.
127
00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:26,217
Pearl loves astrology
128
00:05:26,317 --> 00:05:27,684
and I want to be able
to talk to her about it.
129
00:05:27,784 --> 00:05:30,520
Ooh, let me do
your birth chart.
130
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,955
It's like the old saying,
"Teach a man to fish
131
00:05:33,055 --> 00:05:34,188
and he'll catch a Pisces."
132
00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:37,757
Ooh, girl,
let me catch a breath!
133
00:05:37,857 --> 00:05:40,959
That is fully hilarious
for those in the know.
134
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,029
Just plug in the time
and location of your birth,
135
00:05:45,129 --> 00:05:46,429
and your mother's
pelvic angle.
136
00:05:46,529 --> 00:05:50,032
Thirty-one degrees.
Very auspicious angle.
137
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,266
Very sad I know that.
138
00:05:54,901 --> 00:05:56,335
Huh.
139
00:05:56,435 --> 00:05:59,637
Moon.
Pisces.
140
00:05:59,737 --> 00:06:01,404
The Fourth House?!
141
00:06:01,504 --> 00:06:04,974
Oh, this is bad.
Bad, bad, bad.
142
00:06:05,806 --> 00:06:07,808
What?
Does it say I'm gonna die?
143
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,409
Worse!
Your birth chart
144
00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:11,710
is a perfect match
to my birth chart.
145
00:06:11,810 --> 00:06:13,145
We're soul mates.
146
00:06:13,245 --> 00:06:15,346
What?
147
00:06:15,446 --> 00:06:17,381
- No, we're not.
- I know!
148
00:06:17,481 --> 00:06:19,115
I mean,
she is so out of your league.
149
00:06:19,215 --> 00:06:20,515
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
150
00:06:20,615 --> 00:06:22,783
You're lucky Harper
even knows your name.
151
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,287
Come on, Harper.
This whole thing is bogus.
152
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,089
Your skepticism
balancing my whimsy?
153
00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:32,589
But of course.
154
00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:35,124
We're perfect
for each other.
155
00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:38,593
Are you crying?
156
00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:42,363
Damn you, Mom,
and your scheduled C-section.
157
00:06:43,263 --> 00:06:45,197
This J-Smop is hitting.
158
00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:52,568
I'm working, not shopping!
159
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:56,171
Not for your lowly assistant
to judge, but here goes.
160
00:06:56,271 --> 00:06:58,438
Those shoes are ugly.
161
00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:02,274
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
162
00:07:02,374 --> 00:07:04,076
- I am kinda hungry.
- Ah.
163
00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:08,144
You could have one of
my pre-prepared morning snacks.
164
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:10,112
FYI, they're all yogurt.
165
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,180
It helps me go.
166
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,714
Key lime pie?
167
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:16,383
Granddad, you are begging
for a promotion.
168
00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:20,018
And I booked you a collab.
169
00:07:20,118 --> 00:07:21,319
- Seriously?
- Mm.
170
00:07:21,419 --> 00:07:23,020
I'm surprised you know
what a collab is.
171
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,021
I looked up a list
of young words on the web.
172
00:07:25,121 --> 00:07:27,855
I do not wanna be a cheugy!
173
00:07:27,956 --> 00:07:29,656
So, who's the collab with?
174
00:07:29,756 --> 00:07:31,557
Me and the coins.
175
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:35,327
Hmm.
Let me think about it.
176
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:38,629
I'll get that.
177
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:40,830
That's your assistant's job.
178
00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:43,465
Carly Shay's office.
179
00:07:43,565 --> 00:07:45,066
Pot guy?
180
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:47,134
My granddaughter
is not a druggie!
181
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,269
The '60s are over!
You lost!
182
00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:55,606
It's not the pot guy,
it's my pottery guy.
183
00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:57,740
- Oh.
- My babies are finally growing up
184
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,541
and gonna be able to move
into bigger homes.
185
00:07:59,641 --> 00:08:02,010
Oh.
Sorry I messed up that call.
186
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,844
You know, I could use a list
of my job responsibilities.
187
00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:06,945
Sure, I'll write something up
for you later.
188
00:08:07,046 --> 00:08:08,379
how 'bout you type it up now?
189
00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:10,815
Size 84 font.
None of that sans serif crap.
190
00:08:10,914 --> 00:08:13,017
And while you're up,
I'll take a Werther's
191
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,284
and a cup for my teeth.
192
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:28,191
Ah, your steak au poivre
at 10:00 in the morning.
193
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,427
I have no follow-up questions.
194
00:08:31,227 --> 00:08:33,161
It's for Granddad.
I made him my assistant
195
00:08:33,261 --> 00:08:34,395
so we can spend
more time together.
196
00:08:34,495 --> 00:08:36,096
Then why are you
getting him a steak?
197
00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:39,632
I guess I somehow kind of
became his assistant.
198
00:08:39,732 --> 00:08:42,700
No fair,
he always picks you!
199
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,468
You know what,
why don't I have Granddad
200
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,969
come here and have lunch?
201
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,637
Then, you can show him
the restaurant
202
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,171
and he can show you his teeth.
203
00:08:50,271 --> 00:08:53,473
Which reminds me,
can I get a thick, clear cup?
204
00:08:54,407 --> 00:08:56,842
Granddad can't come here,
he'll rip this place apart.
205
00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:58,976
I at least need to paint
a mural on that wall.
206
00:08:59,077 --> 00:09:00,910
You're right.
Granddad will probably look
207
00:09:01,011 --> 00:09:03,012
at that blank wall and be all,
"In my day,
208
00:09:03,112 --> 00:09:04,680
"we didn't have blank walls.
209
00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:07,981
We had one bone and we made
five weeks of soup out of it."
210
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,984
Hey, Carly.
Are you mad at me?
211
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,086
- No, why?
- Because I asked you
212
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,020
if you wanted anything
from the grocery store earlier,
213
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,189
and you replied,
"No. Period. Bye. Period."
214
00:09:20,289 --> 00:09:21,690
Oh, no.
215
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,991
Granddad must be replying
to my texts from my computer.
216
00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:25,825
- Mm.
- Everyone knows old people
217
00:09:25,925 --> 00:09:27,260
are the worst texters.
218
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,262
They don't get
digital nuance.
219
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:32,163
Yeah, well, he's also yelling at
people in the iCarly comments.
220
00:09:32,263 --> 00:09:34,797
He's logged in as you and it
looks like you told someone
221
00:09:34,897 --> 00:09:36,599
to go die in a jalopy fire.
222
00:09:36,699 --> 00:09:40,301
I don't know what a jalopy is,
but the rest sounds pretty mean.
223
00:09:40,401 --> 00:09:43,470
What am I gonna do?
I can't fire my own Granddad.
224
00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:47,972
One banana almond smoothie
with five strawberries
225
00:09:48,073 --> 00:09:49,973
- and a splash of apple juice.
- That's mine.
226
00:09:50,074 --> 00:09:51,940
I ordered the same thing.
227
00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,709
That doesn't mean
we're soul mates.
228
00:09:53,809 --> 00:09:56,278
You guys want straws?
No straw, long spoon.
229
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:59,079
I told you!
230
00:09:59,179 --> 00:10:04,282
Our two hearts beat as one,
you gorgeous dumbass.
231
00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,685
Wow, Granddad Shay,
232
00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:12,620
that was a really interesting
coin presentation.
233
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,088
Thank you, young lady.
234
00:10:14,188 --> 00:10:15,955
Guess you could say
I'm a "coin-fluencer."
235
00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:17,990
You're a real
"coin-tent creator."
236
00:10:19,491 --> 00:10:22,025
Look at that,
we both coined new phrases!
237
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:24,094
And that's it for
our first episode of...
238
00:10:24,194 --> 00:10:26,295
My Two Cents!
239
00:10:30,598 --> 00:10:31,898
"Coin-tent creator"?
240
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,565
Not my proudest moment.
241
00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:36,867
But he pays me $20 every time
I laugh at one of his jokes.
242
00:10:37,735 --> 00:10:39,136
And say what you will,
243
00:10:39,236 --> 00:10:41,304
Granddad brought a ton
of viewers to your livestream.
244
00:10:41,404 --> 00:10:43,271
Way more than you usually get.
245
00:10:44,406 --> 00:10:46,240
You filmed that
on my livestream?
246
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:48,541
Well, what happened
to my PlantCam?
247
00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:50,809
Turns out there
was a change of "plants."
248
00:10:56,913 --> 00:10:59,448
Granddad, this is my channel.
249
00:10:59,548 --> 00:11:01,616
Do you think Oprah
lets her granddad
250
00:11:01,716 --> 00:11:02,982
do coin shows on OWN?
251
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,119
No, and that's
the only difference
252
00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,486
between you and Oprah.
253
00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:08,786
Thank you, Carly.
254
00:11:08,886 --> 00:11:10,254
For the first time
since I retired,
255
00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:13,423
I feel a real sense
of accomplishment.
256
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,390
Actually, the first time
was last week at Skybucks
257
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:19,160
when I successfully ordered
a frappuccino.
258
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,294
Well, I don't wanna take it
away from you
259
00:11:21,394 --> 00:11:24,630
if you're really enjoying
making these coin videos.
260
00:11:25,463 --> 00:11:28,865
Maybe we can do a collab.
Your coins, my plants?
261
00:11:28,965 --> 00:11:30,599
Pass.
262
00:11:30,699 --> 00:11:33,368
Actually, Granddad and I have
a list of stuff for you to do
263
00:11:33,468 --> 00:11:35,102
while we rehearse
the next segment.
264
00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:40,071
It's an appreciation
of the 1787 Brasher Doubloon.
265
00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:42,673
People need to know
about the Brasher D.
266
00:11:42,773 --> 00:11:44,242
Do they?
267
00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:49,211
Of course, they do!
It's the Brasher D.
268
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,580
I get 10 when I agree with him.
269
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:58,516
Okay, what kind of
therapy animal would you suggest
270
00:11:58,616 --> 00:12:00,784
for a 49-year-old woman
with a fear of flying?
271
00:12:00,884 --> 00:12:04,419
Well, we could be responsible
and recommend a small dog.
272
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:06,521
Ooh, or we could be bad,
give her a snake,
273
00:12:06,621 --> 00:12:09,356
and wind up with a plane
full of new customers.
274
00:12:10,157 --> 00:12:12,891
Pearl!
I have something to tell you.
275
00:12:12,991 --> 00:12:16,527
Fredward and I are soul mates.
276
00:12:16,626 --> 00:12:17,994
Excuse me?
277
00:12:18,094 --> 00:12:19,595
Harper did my birth chart
278
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,863
so I could learn more
about astrology to impress you,
279
00:12:21,963 --> 00:12:23,598
and our charts are a match.
280
00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:24,865
A perfect match.
281
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:26,466
Can you please tell Harper
282
00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:28,100
that this doesn't
mean anything?
283
00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:29,701
I'm sorry,
but I can't do that.
284
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:32,470
The stars have spoken,
and we must listen.
285
00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:34,003
What?!
286
00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:36,972
You're very practical.
Taurus?
287
00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:38,939
Yeah, dude.
288
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:40,908
But I also did
Freddie's chart,
289
00:12:41,008 --> 00:12:42,609
and, well, your mom and I
have been texting
290
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,510
ever since she put
a tracking device on my car.
291
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,611
But he and I,
292
00:12:46,711 --> 00:12:47,945
also a perfect match.
293
00:12:48,779 --> 00:12:51,514
Now, we just have to see
who matches with him physically.
294
00:12:51,614 --> 00:12:53,715
Only one way to do that.
295
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,419
Here?
Now?
296
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,488
The three of us?
297
00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:05,623
Salsa dancing.
298
00:13:05,722 --> 00:13:09,625
Wait, what did you think
we were talking about?
299
00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:12,727
Salsa dancing.
300
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:15,561
Okay, so to recap.
301
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,163
I'm a perfect match
for both of you.
302
00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:20,199
Two of us
want to date each other.
303
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,533
Two of us have absolutely
no interest
304
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,933
in dating each other,
305
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:28,203
and we're gonna solve this
with salsa dancing?
306
00:13:28,303 --> 00:13:30,737
Well, you wouldn't solve it
with a Viennese waltz.
307
00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:32,206
That would be insane.
308
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:39,009
I'm not the coin-fluencer's
assistant!
309
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,477
He's my assistant!
310
00:13:41,577 --> 00:13:44,012
I agree,
it's not going well!
311
00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:46,547
What are you doing?
312
00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:48,014
I am swamped.
313
00:13:48,114 --> 00:13:49,981
Granddad gave out
my email on the show.
314
00:13:50,081 --> 00:13:53,218
Can you believe that?
He knows my email.
315
00:13:53,318 --> 00:13:54,752
I thought Millicent
was his assistant.
316
00:13:54,851 --> 00:13:57,453
Nah, she's his number one,
I'm his number two,
317
00:13:57,553 --> 00:14:00,154
and you're kind of like
our intern.
318
00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:01,989
It's kind of amazing
the show is so popular.
319
00:14:02,089 --> 00:14:03,757
Mm, not really.
320
00:14:03,857 --> 00:14:05,191
They come
for the buffalo nickels,
321
00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:08,293
but they stay for
the silver fox.
322
00:14:08,393 --> 00:14:10,561
Apparently, Granddad is hot.
323
00:14:11,729 --> 00:14:14,163
Spencer, I'm forwarding
Granddad's emails to Carly.
324
00:14:14,264 --> 00:14:15,497
You're not responding
fast enough,
325
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:17,365
and your tone
could use some work.
326
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,700
Fine, let's see
if Granddad's Gumdrop
327
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,501
can handle the deluge!
328
00:14:24,836 --> 00:14:26,070
Ugh!
329
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:28,339
Granddad, we need to talk.
330
00:14:28,439 --> 00:14:31,207
Oh, Mr. Shay
can spare 20 minutes
331
00:14:31,307 --> 00:14:33,007
Thursday of next week.
332
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,777
This isn't working.
333
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,912
All I wanted was to spend
quality time with you.
334
00:14:41,012 --> 00:14:43,614
But, I'm sorry.
335
00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:47,182
I have to... fire you.
336
00:14:49,251 --> 00:14:51,352
Pack your bags.
337
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:54,354
Please.
338
00:14:55,388 --> 00:14:58,257
You're firing me? Huh?
339
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,424
That's an interesting
wrong decision.
340
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,625
After I answer
341
00:15:02,725 --> 00:15:03,859
these last few emails.
342
00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:05,561
I don't wanna leave you
in a lurch.
343
00:15:05,661 --> 00:15:07,061
Who is Vinny?
344
00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,662
He's an old friend.
345
00:15:08,762 --> 00:15:11,964
Why does he say he's going
to "quaff you in the noof"?
346
00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:13,366
Oh, wait.
347
00:15:13,465 --> 00:15:15,333
"Sorry for the typos.
I'm driving.
348
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:18,235
Meant to say I'm gonna
stab you in the neck."
349
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,370
He's like an old friend
and an enemy.
350
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:23,404
I wish there was
a colloquial term
351
00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:26,406
to describe that relationship.
352
00:15:26,506 --> 00:15:28,340
He also thinks
I stole my coins from him.
353
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,608
Well, why would he think that?
354
00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,376
Because I stole
my coins from him.
355
00:15:31,476 --> 00:15:33,110
I lost them to Vinny
in a poker game,
356
00:15:33,209 --> 00:15:35,379
so I broke into his place
and took them back.
357
00:15:35,479 --> 00:15:38,680
Coin heists?
Nemesis?!
358
00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:43,316
If you're a supervillain,
you have to tell me.
359
00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:49,953
Granddad, you have to give
the coins back to Vinny.
360
00:15:50,053 --> 00:15:51,354
He's on his way here
to kill you.
361
00:15:51,454 --> 00:15:54,290
You mean us.
Vinny's not big on witnesses.
362
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:56,190
I'm not giving these coins back.
363
00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:58,157
They've been in the family
for generations.
364
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,927
Your great-great-grandfather
stole 'em fair and square.
365
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:04,696
You're gonna risk
your life over coins?
366
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:07,230
It's not like
they're front row tickets
367
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:08,898
to Ricky Martin.
368
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,567
Vinny is not murdering Granddad.
369
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:16,903
If Granddad is gonna die, it is
gonna be from natural causes
370
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:18,737
or falling into a pond
and drowning
371
00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:20,905
'cause he was trying
to feed a specific duck.
372
00:16:21,005 --> 00:16:24,341
I'll think of a way out of this.
Just leave it all to me.
373
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,108
Spencer, I really appreciate
374
00:16:26,208 --> 00:16:27,875
you helping out
your old Granddad.
375
00:16:27,975 --> 00:16:29,611
And if you pull this off,
376
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,612
there is a crisp
twenty-dollar bill
377
00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:32,912
with your name on it.
378
00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:34,480
Wait,
so saving your life
379
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:36,381
and laughing at your jokes
gets the same amount?
380
00:16:36,481 --> 00:16:38,716
Carly, shut up.
I want those twenty bones.
381
00:16:44,152 --> 00:16:46,086
Thanks for letting us have
salsa night at your place.
382
00:16:46,186 --> 00:16:49,322
Well, thank you for being
a part of my plan.
383
00:16:50,323 --> 00:16:51,490
What plan?
384
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,825
My secret plan.
385
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:56,026
If you're gonna do
a dramatic pause,
386
00:16:56,126 --> 00:16:58,394
it's always best
to do it with a...
387
00:16:59,494 --> 00:17:00,862
...prop.
388
00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:05,532
Isn't Spencer's restaurant
great?
389
00:17:05,632 --> 00:17:07,433
I like the cool blank wall.
390
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:10,935
I feel like it's saying,
"Hey guys, I'm just a wall.
391
00:17:11,035 --> 00:17:13,869
So, why doesn't everybody
chill out and move on?"
392
00:17:13,969 --> 00:17:15,270
I call it lazy.
393
00:17:15,371 --> 00:17:16,738
In my day,
you had a blank wall,
394
00:17:16,838 --> 00:17:19,606
you put up a sign
to "Join the Army."
395
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,107
It won't be blank for long.
396
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,676
It's all part of the... plan.
397
00:17:29,746 --> 00:17:31,112
What the hell are you wearing?
398
00:17:31,212 --> 00:17:34,815
These are my custom-made
Spencer Shay salsa slacks.
399
00:17:38,817 --> 00:17:42,420
Wait, are those my coins
sewn into your pants?
400
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,588
They're slacks, and yeah,
401
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,757
it's all part
of the... plan.
402
00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:49,991
How are they...
403
00:17:51,224 --> 00:17:52,993
Oh no, Vinny's here.
I'm dead.
404
00:17:55,827 --> 00:17:58,063
He looks both frail and scary,
405
00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:00,864
so I'm relieved,
but still terrified.
406
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,234
And now... I dance.
407
00:18:08,335 --> 00:18:09,903
Spencer, if he sees
your pants...
408
00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:11,837
It's part of the plan!
409
00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:19,409
- Give me my coins back.
- What coins?
410
00:18:19,509 --> 00:18:21,176
The coins on your
coin collecting show,
411
00:18:21,276 --> 00:18:23,978
which I watched
and really enjoyed, by the way.
412
00:18:24,078 --> 00:18:26,680
Hey, here's a fun
different topic
413
00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:29,648
to help us all
forget about coins.
414
00:18:29,748 --> 00:18:34,084
Can you believe they have
women pilots now?
415
00:18:36,085 --> 00:18:37,952
Well, I'm ready
for salsa dancing
416
00:18:38,052 --> 00:18:39,354
to decide
who I'm compatible with,
417
00:18:39,454 --> 00:18:41,455
even though I've already
decided I like Pearl,
418
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,255
and astrology is ridiculous.
419
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,824
He still thinks
it's up to him.
420
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:48,493
Oh, God, I hope we suck at this.
421
00:18:48,593 --> 00:18:50,727
Not as much as I do.
422
00:19:11,072 --> 00:19:12,507
Damn it, we're great at this.
423
00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:17,042
You'll pry those coins
out of my cold, dead fingers.
424
00:19:17,142 --> 00:19:19,744
I'll do it when your fingers
are warm.
425
00:19:19,844 --> 00:19:22,312
It takes two hours
for a body to cool down.
426
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,516
That Lena Horne
is some hot dish, huh?
427
00:19:29,717 --> 00:19:30,851
Who is this kid?
428
00:19:30,951 --> 00:19:32,251
He's my grandson,
429
00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:34,352
and I'm as disappointed
as you think I am.
430
00:19:36,254 --> 00:19:38,055
Spencer, if Vinny
sees your pants,
431
00:19:38,155 --> 00:19:39,456
he's gonna know
where the coins are.
432
00:19:39,556 --> 00:19:41,323
You gotta get out of here.
433
00:19:45,159 --> 00:19:47,528
And now... we dance.
434
00:19:55,866 --> 00:19:57,066
Our turn.
435
00:19:57,166 --> 00:19:58,468
Let's dance
like nobody's watching,
436
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,368
even though people are.
437
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:17,846
Look at them, working out
their problems through dance.
438
00:20:17,946 --> 00:20:20,747
Why don't you guys try that?
439
00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:22,348
Help less, Gumdrop.
440
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,717
All right, let's finish this.
441
00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:29,352
See if you can handle
some of my signature moves.
442
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:47,497
Why?!
443
00:20:59,303 --> 00:21:00,336
Ah!
444
00:21:01,638 --> 00:21:03,105
Freddie!
445
00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:06,307
Do you know what this means?
We're a match!
446
00:21:07,275 --> 00:21:08,576
Ooh!
447
00:21:08,676 --> 00:21:10,342
Hold up, hold on.
448
00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,944
Hey, girl, what's your sign?
449
00:21:13,044 --> 00:21:15,145
Libra with a Leo rising.
450
00:21:15,245 --> 00:21:18,482
Ooh, I'm a Sag
with a Libra rising!
451
00:21:18,582 --> 00:21:19,982
We're compatible!
452
00:21:20,082 --> 00:21:22,216
I'm good.
Freddie's all you.
453
00:21:24,486 --> 00:21:26,887
All right,
enough pleasantries.
454
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,754
Time for murder.
455
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,122
No, Vinny, wait!
456
00:21:34,724 --> 00:21:36,459
Your coins are on these pants!
457
00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:40,260
You're lucky the little lady
stepped in, Shay,
458
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,261
because you were about to tango
459
00:21:42,361 --> 00:21:45,864
with Osteo
and Porosis.
460
00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:51,067
Thanks for saving my butt, guys.
461
00:21:51,167 --> 00:21:53,469
Unfortunately,
I can't pass those coins
462
00:21:53,569 --> 00:21:54,736
down to you after all.
463
00:21:54,836 --> 00:21:57,571
Actually, I think
you'll still be able to.
464
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,808
The coins will be hidden
in plain sight
465
00:22:02,908 --> 00:22:04,408
at Shay What forever.
466
00:22:04,509 --> 00:22:07,143
Wait, then what was sewn
into your pants?
467
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:12,179
Oh, my custom-made
Spencer Shay fake coins.
468
00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:16,115
All part of my... scheme.
469
00:22:16,215 --> 00:22:18,017
Great job, Spencer.
470
00:22:18,117 --> 00:22:20,652
Spencer, oh-ho!
471
00:22:20,752 --> 00:22:23,853
I'm proud of you.
There, I said it.
472
00:22:23,953 --> 00:22:26,154
Proud of me?
473
00:22:27,656 --> 00:22:31,357
I'm just... so happy...
474
00:22:32,391 --> 00:22:35,093
My whole life...
Family hug!
475
00:22:37,862 --> 00:22:41,263
Spencer, Carly,
you "coin" always count on me.
476
00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:53,337
Are you sure you wanna drive
back to Yakima tonight?
477
00:22:53,437 --> 00:22:55,405
I don't want
to overstay my welcome.
478
00:22:55,505 --> 00:22:57,473
- You could never...
- Let me put it bluntly.
479
00:22:57,574 --> 00:22:59,908
You're getting
on my nerves again.
480
00:23:03,877 --> 00:23:05,277
Good news, Granddad.
481
00:23:05,377 --> 00:23:07,412
Looks like you and I
could be soul mates as well.
482
00:23:07,513 --> 00:23:10,014
But there's only
one way to find out.
483
00:23:11,214 --> 00:23:13,583
- I thought you'd never ask.
- Oh!
484
00:23:20,386 --> 00:23:21,855
And there it is.
485
00:23:21,955 --> 00:23:23,589
There's the weird part again.
486
00:23:58,242 --> 00:23:59,376
Ooh!
487
00:23:59,476 --> 00:24:01,511
He hates these cans.
35417
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.