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1
00:00:04,165 --> 00:00:06,635
Waffles in Warrior Pose.
2
00:00:06,735 --> 00:00:09,071
Both empowering...
3
00:00:09,171 --> 00:00:11,406
and delicious.
4
00:00:11,506 --> 00:00:14,042
What kind of millennial hell
is this?
5
00:00:14,142 --> 00:00:15,410
"Random Eating."
6
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:17,180
We used to have this bit
called "Random Dancing,"
7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,048
but this is way more grown-up.
8
00:00:19,148 --> 00:00:20,984
Next, we have...
9
00:00:24,854 --> 00:00:27,925
"Lasagna in a Headstand."
10
00:00:28,025 --> 00:00:29,860
Make like you just
met a Hemsworth
11
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,896
and get those legs in the air.
12
00:00:33,463 --> 00:00:35,933
Stop everything!
Guys, meet Trina.
13
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:37,502
Hi.
14
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,238
I'm collecting signatures
for a bill on climate change.
15
00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:41,673
Can I count on your support?
16
00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:43,174
Sure. I'd love to sign.
17
00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:44,710
Oh, aren't you cute?
18
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:47,279
Sorry, sweetie, this petition
is for grown-ups.
19
00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:49,982
Sure, put grown-ups
in charge of climate change.
20
00:00:50,082 --> 00:00:52,218
So far, so good.
21
00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:55,121
Spencer, we're filming.
You can't just interrupt
22
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,089
- while I'm working.
- Oh. What is the use
23
00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,527
of work when the planet
is on fire?
24
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,797
Climate change
is the single greatest threat
25
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,132
to our generation.
26
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,300
I talk about it endlessly.
27
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,304
All you talk about endlessly
are robots and marshmallows.
28
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,240
He's just trying
to get Trina's number.
29
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,175
Mm...
30
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,911
Wait. Are you Carly Shay?
31
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,413
I'm a huge fan.
32
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,049
Aw. Thank you.
33
00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:21,951
Yeah, I'd love to sign
your petition.
34
00:01:24,219 --> 00:01:27,857
Aw. On second thought,
you keep it.
35
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,425
You've been served.
36
00:01:29,525 --> 00:01:31,294
Big fan, though.
37
00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:34,998
Oh, my God.
I'm being sued.
38
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,268
But who is Lewbert Sline?
39
00:01:38,369 --> 00:01:42,306
Lewbert was
our old doorman and archnemesis.
40
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:43,941
He quit after Carly
moved to Italy.
41
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,309
Just up and left mysteriously.
42
00:01:47,745 --> 00:01:50,515
Why are you gasping?
You know all this already.
43
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:53,618
I just realized her name
probably wasn't Trina.
44
00:01:54,419 --> 00:01:57,355
I know you see ♪
45
00:01:57,455 --> 00:01:59,859
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
46
00:01:59,959 --> 00:02:03,262
And be so wonderful ♪
47
00:02:03,362 --> 00:02:07,300
♪ So wake up
the members of my nation ♪
48
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,968
It's your time to be ♪
49
00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:12,006
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
50
00:02:12,106 --> 00:02:13,640
And the time to see ♪
51
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:17,945
♪ The brighter side
of every situation ♪
52
00:02:18,045 --> 00:02:19,747
Some things are meant to be ♪
53
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,518
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me. ♪
54
00:02:26,454 --> 00:02:28,323
Soda machine!
55
00:02:28,423 --> 00:02:30,559
Stole my diet root beer!
56
00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:36,165
These videos were called
"Messing With Lewbert."
57
00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:38,634
They were, like,
a perfectly innocent,
58
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,871
just, like,
little pranking sketch.
59
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:48,245
Oh. God, we were adorable.
60
00:02:48,345 --> 00:02:51,382
And now he's suing me
for wrongful injury,
61
00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:55,987
emotional distress
and irreparable loss of wart.
62
00:02:56,087 --> 00:02:56,988
Can you believe this?
63
00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:59,090
Yes, I can.
64
00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:00,458
"Messing" with someone
is like
65
00:03:00,558 --> 00:03:02,027
hiding your roommate's
phone charger
66
00:03:02,127 --> 00:03:03,462
because she takes
long-ass showers.
67
00:03:03,562 --> 00:03:05,898
- Wait, have you been--
- The point is...
68
00:03:05,998 --> 00:03:07,900
y'all were nasty.
69
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,501
You don't see
how nasty he was
70
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,437
in those sketches, okay?
He terrorized us.
71
00:03:11,537 --> 00:03:15,976
And he had this blood-curdling,
soul-piercing scream.
72
00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:19,880
That's my Lewbert.
73
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:21,916
I do all of you guys, too.
74
00:03:22,016 --> 00:03:24,651
Carly, no judge would ever
side with Lewbert.
75
00:03:24,751 --> 00:03:25,719
He's the worst.
76
00:03:25,819 --> 00:03:26,988
You're right.
77
00:03:27,088 --> 00:03:29,623
But, just in case,
I have a plan.
78
00:03:29,723 --> 00:03:30,925
I'll apologize.
79
00:03:31,025 --> 00:03:32,794
I'll show some remorse
80
00:03:32,895 --> 00:03:35,197
and all this will go away.
81
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,032
That may work
when you try all of the grapes
82
00:03:37,132 --> 00:03:38,333
at the supermarket, but--
83
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:39,801
Oh, no. Those are--
Carly,
84
00:03:39,902 --> 00:03:42,205
those are not free samples.
They are for sale.
85
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:47,476
Guys, there's no way
Lewbert wins this case,
86
00:03:47,576 --> 00:03:49,045
and I would know,
I went to law school
87
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,846
for three days.
88
00:03:50,947 --> 00:03:52,849
Every time you bring up
law school, I think,
89
00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:54,351
"He took someone's spot."
90
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,354
If your apology doesn't work,
I'll represent you
91
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,056
and get this case thrown out
in 15 minutes.
92
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:02,928
Guaranteed. Ten, if I don't get
hammered the night before.
93
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:04,429
So probably 15.
94
00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:06,564
Great.
You all got this handled.
95
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,099
I'll stay here
and watch Millicent.
96
00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:09,600
You're not gonna come
and support
97
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,102
your best friend
in her hour of need?
98
00:04:11,202 --> 00:04:12,972
Carly, I'm Black.
I spend too much time
99
00:04:13,072 --> 00:04:15,607
at the courthouse, something
ends up being my fault.
100
00:04:21,047 --> 00:04:23,650
Millicent, do you want to see
my new sticker?
101
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:24,884
Shh. Reading.
102
00:04:26,553 --> 00:04:28,455
Hey, Olive, your mom's here.
103
00:04:28,555 --> 00:04:30,090
Finally!
104
00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:33,527
I-I mean, aw, already?
105
00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:37,565
But we didn't check the oil
and bond futures yet.
106
00:04:37,665 --> 00:04:40,935
Let's save some fun
for next time. Bye.
107
00:04:45,007 --> 00:04:46,675
Do you ever feel like
you're more sophisticated
108
00:04:46,775 --> 00:04:48,310
than your friends?
109
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,879
Of course you do,
you're friends with Carly.
110
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,350
Well, she does
call them, "quesa-dill-as."
111
00:04:54,450 --> 00:04:56,352
Olive and I aren't vibing.
112
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,188
She's still
into playing horsies.
113
00:04:58,288 --> 00:05:00,023
And I'm trying to bet on them.
114
00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:03,393
Well, it's normal for girls
to mature at different speeds.
115
00:05:03,493 --> 00:05:04,795
Look, take me.
116
00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:06,597
I was the last person
in my friend group
117
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,665
to consider admissions fraud.
118
00:05:08,765 --> 00:05:10,034
Thanks, bestie.
119
00:05:10,134 --> 00:05:12,003
I love that word.
120
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,739
- The way you Gen-
- Zers just use it all over the place.
121
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,074
- I mean, us Gen-
- Zers.
122
00:05:16,174 --> 00:05:17,542
- I'm a Gen-
- Zer, right, bestie?
123
00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,411
You want me to say
- you're a Gen-
- Zer?
124
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:21,246
I'd like to hear it
out loud, yes.
125
00:05:25,918 --> 00:05:27,553
All right, Carly,
apologize and we're out.
126
00:05:27,653 --> 00:05:28,954
I can't stand being
around Lewbert.
127
00:05:29,055 --> 00:05:30,156
Yeah, he makes my skin crawl.
128
00:05:31,257 --> 00:05:32,891
His lack of hygiene,
129
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:34,793
that awful, grating voice--
130
00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:36,963
Hello, Carly.
131
00:05:38,065 --> 00:05:39,299
So lovely to see you again.
132
00:05:39,399 --> 00:05:42,502
Lewbert?
Is that really you?
133
00:05:42,602 --> 00:05:47,375
You look handsome,
but also approachable.
134
00:05:47,475 --> 00:05:49,110
You're like Paul Rudd.
135
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,446
Very kind of you to say.
136
00:05:51,546 --> 00:05:54,682
I also want to say
that I'm really sorry
137
00:05:54,782 --> 00:05:56,985
for the way that we treated you
when we were kids.
138
00:05:57,086 --> 00:06:01,323
I-It was immature, and silly.
139
00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,426
Wow.
140
00:06:04,526 --> 00:06:06,696
I feel so much better.
141
00:06:06,796 --> 00:06:09,366
That was a great moment
for us.
142
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:12,902
Court is in session.
143
00:06:13,002 --> 00:06:16,005
I have in front of me
the civil suit
144
00:06:16,106 --> 00:06:18,042
of Sline v. Shay.
145
00:06:18,142 --> 00:06:21,345
Oh, um, Your Majesty...
146
00:06:24,115 --> 00:06:26,117
I have some good news.
147
00:06:26,217 --> 00:06:27,919
I apologized to Mr. Sline
148
00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:32,124
in a very sincere
and respectful way.
149
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,093
So, what do you say, Lewbie?
150
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,027
You want to forget
about this whole thing?
151
00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:37,597
I don't think so, Carly.
152
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,133
Your Honor, I'm seeking damages
for the way Ms. Shay
153
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,668
tortured me and left me
permanently disfigured.
154
00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:45,638
How are you disfigured?
You look fine.
155
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,675
You could pass for a dad
in a Propecia commercial.
156
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,911
Be that as it may,
157
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,514
I've literally lost
the ability to smile.
158
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,850
My once melodic voice
is now flat and lifeless.
159
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:01,389
And, worst of all,
I lost... my wart.
160
00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:03,925
Spencer Shay for the defense!
161
00:07:04,025 --> 00:07:06,528
His "injuries"
are self-inflicted.
162
00:07:06,628 --> 00:07:09,598
He would work himself up,
and flail around
163
00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:12,801
like a bird with another bird
up its ass.
164
00:07:16,972 --> 00:07:20,344
Your Honor, this is exactly
why I'm suing Ms. Shay
165
00:07:20,444 --> 00:07:22,246
for one million dollars.
166
00:07:22,346 --> 00:07:24,548
Oh, really?
167
00:07:24,648 --> 00:07:26,483
You're gonna ask
for a million dollars
168
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,553
and not do the Dr. Evil
pinkie thing?
169
00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:30,087
God, I hate you, Lewbert!
170
00:07:30,855 --> 00:07:32,990
Spencer!
A sidebar, if you will?
171
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:36,761
I do not have
one million dollars.
172
00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,731
Ugh.
173
00:07:39,831 --> 00:07:42,468
One million dollars.
174
00:07:43,602 --> 00:07:45,404
We're gonna fight this.
175
00:07:45,504 --> 00:07:48,774
Lewbert, I will see you
in court!
176
00:07:48,874 --> 00:07:50,677
Carly, we're already in court.
177
00:07:50,777 --> 00:07:53,045
I know, but how many other
chances will I have to say that?
178
00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:55,482
Several. We did a lot
of messed-up stuff
179
00:07:55,582 --> 00:07:56,816
when we were kids.
180
00:08:04,158 --> 00:08:06,126
Carly, are you sure
Spencer can pull this off?
181
00:08:06,227 --> 00:08:07,961
Objection!
Move to strike
182
00:08:08,061 --> 00:08:10,899
Freddie's annoying
negative opinion.
183
00:08:10,999 --> 00:08:12,734
The trial hasn't even
started yet.
184
00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:15,003
I'll allow it.
185
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,708
Hello, Your Honor.
186
00:08:19,809 --> 00:08:22,077
I stand before you,
ready to establish mens rea.
187
00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:24,013
Objection! Mens rea?
188
00:08:24,113 --> 00:08:26,749
Isn't that the dating app
for famous people?
189
00:08:26,849 --> 00:08:28,918
No. That's Raya.
190
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:31,388
I would know.
191
00:08:32,456 --> 00:08:34,124
Sustained.
192
00:08:35,259 --> 00:08:36,593
"Mens rea" is a legal term
193
00:08:36,693 --> 00:08:38,595
that means
"intent of wrong-doing."
194
00:08:38,695 --> 00:08:41,633
After I left the Bushwell,
I put myself through law school,
195
00:08:41,733 --> 00:08:44,101
and now I have a successful
personal injury firm
196
00:08:44,202 --> 00:08:46,538
called, "Sue With Lew."
197
00:08:47,305 --> 00:08:50,141
I call to the stand
Fredward Benson!
198
00:08:51,677 --> 00:08:53,346
I'm gonna bury him.
199
00:08:53,446 --> 00:08:54,880
This is gonna be
the best day of my life.
200
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:58,517
You really need to get out more,
but go get 'em, tiger!
201
00:09:02,356 --> 00:09:04,123
I'm so glad you suggested
this spa day.
202
00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:06,393
I'm already feeling better
about dumping Olive.
203
00:09:07,694 --> 00:09:08,895
You dumped Olive?
204
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:12,733
Faster than a couple that got
engaged on The Bachelor.
205
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,470
I need someone older
who I vibe with.
206
00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:17,438
And I'm loving these vibes.
207
00:09:17,538 --> 00:09:19,106
And you called me bestie, so...
208
00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:21,276
Yeah, everyone uses
that term now.
209
00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:23,178
My bank's Twitter
calls me bestie.
210
00:09:24,179 --> 00:09:26,982
Oh. Okay.
211
00:09:27,082 --> 00:09:29,117
It's 'cause I was having
so much fun,
212
00:09:29,217 --> 00:09:31,787
and my face is feeling
so exfoliated.
213
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,792
Does that mean
we aren't besties?
214
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,862
Uh... of course we are!
215
00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:41,364
I'm just playing
with you, bestie!
216
00:09:41,464 --> 00:09:43,301
Ah, you got me, bestie!
217
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:45,569
I love fake-outs.
So mature of us.
218
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:49,540
Or "ma-ture." Adults love
to hit that T hard.
219
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:57,716
Muffins? Well!
Don't mind if I do.
220
00:10:00,685 --> 00:10:02,988
Pretty horrific,
wouldn't you say?
221
00:10:03,088 --> 00:10:04,624
No, I wouldn't.
222
00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:06,759
- And none of it was--
- Your idea?
223
00:10:06,859 --> 00:10:08,160
Oh, I know, sweet Freddie.
224
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:09,395
After all, whose name
is on the show?
225
00:10:09,495 --> 00:10:11,364
Carly.
But that's not--
226
00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:15,035
Your fault.
Of course not, I agree.
227
00:10:15,135 --> 00:10:16,537
Why wasn't it "WeCarly"?
228
00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:18,138
We actually did discuss it,
229
00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:19,606
but apparently it tested poorly.
230
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,941
With who?
231
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:21,975
Carly.
232
00:10:22,075 --> 00:10:24,679
It ain't called the "We-ternet."
233
00:10:24,779 --> 00:10:26,414
And isn't it true
you had a deep,
234
00:10:26,514 --> 00:10:28,650
unrequited love for Carly?
235
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,585
Hey, it was occasionally requited.
236
00:10:30,685 --> 00:10:32,720
Like when I threw myself
in front of a taco truck
237
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:33,722
to save her.
238
00:10:33,822 --> 00:10:35,758
So only when you're hurt.
239
00:10:35,858 --> 00:10:38,226
Sounds less like love
and more like pity.
240
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:41,730
Well, if you're gonna go off
of how it sounds,
241
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:44,167
and looks, and is...
242
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:45,635
then yes.
243
00:10:45,735 --> 00:10:48,304
And now aren't you back
where you started?
244
00:10:48,405 --> 00:10:50,674
Producing iCarly,
doing her bidding,
245
00:10:50,774 --> 00:10:53,843
even entering
into a fake relationship,
246
00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:56,146
all for whose benefit?
247
00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:57,482
Carly.
248
00:10:58,248 --> 00:11:00,418
Oh, God.
249
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,553
What has become of me?
250
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,790
Who am I?
251
00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:06,558
No further questions,
Your Honor.
252
00:11:06,658 --> 00:11:09,227
Spencer!
You gotta do something.
253
00:11:09,327 --> 00:11:11,096
Get Freddie back
on our side.
254
00:11:11,196 --> 00:11:15,334
Your Honor, permission to wrap
the witness in a warm hug.
255
00:11:16,403 --> 00:11:19,839
Your Honor, I've got
a slew of other witnesses,
256
00:11:19,939 --> 00:11:23,743
all who will attest
to Carly's horrific ways.
257
00:11:28,181 --> 00:11:32,019
He got Guppy? What bad things
is he gonna say about us?
258
00:11:32,119 --> 00:11:33,954
He's sweet.
Hi, Guppy!
259
00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:35,590
Happy birthday!
260
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:36,725
Ah!
261
00:11:36,825 --> 00:11:39,694
Don't look at her,
Mr. Gibson.
262
00:11:39,794 --> 00:11:42,431
I called you here
because you were witness
263
00:11:42,531 --> 00:11:45,901
to the pain and suffering
inflicted by Carly Shay
264
00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:47,302
on your brother, Gibby.
265
00:11:47,403 --> 00:11:49,004
Gibby!
266
00:11:49,104 --> 00:11:53,008
Well, Gibby wanted to do
those stunts most of the time.
267
00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:54,644
Uh-huh! Most of the time,
268
00:11:54,744 --> 00:11:58,248
which means some of the time
he didn't want to do them.
269
00:11:58,348 --> 00:12:00,216
Let the record show
some of the time
270
00:12:00,316 --> 00:12:01,918
he didn't wanna do them!
271
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:06,122
I liked it better when
I just said happy birthday.
272
00:12:06,222 --> 00:12:08,826
Is it anyone's birthday?
273
00:12:11,529 --> 00:12:13,364
Happy birthday!
274
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:18,737
I call to the stand
model Bushwell tenant,
275
00:12:18,837 --> 00:12:21,840
and just the cutest little angel
you've ever seen,
276
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,842
Chuck Chambers!
277
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,944
No. No! No.
278
00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:29,916
What's in the box?
What's in the box?!
279
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,519
Tell us why you're here today.
280
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,353
To state that the Shay siblings
281
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,222
are evil incarnate.
282
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,495
Carly played mind games
with me when she was my tutor.
283
00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:44,298
And Spencer,
he locked me in a cage.
284
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,767
He squirted me
with suspicious liquid,
285
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,371
and once, he threw
a cupcake at me.
286
00:12:50,472 --> 00:12:53,875
You liar!
You did all that stuff to me!
287
00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:55,443
Spencer!
Get it together.
288
00:12:55,544 --> 00:12:56,912
He brought Chuck here
to throw you off your game.
289
00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,347
Oh, you're right.
290
00:12:58,447 --> 00:12:59,949
Just breathe, Spencey.
Take a sip of water.
291
00:13:00,049 --> 00:13:01,283
You wish it was water.
292
00:13:02,652 --> 00:13:04,621
Come here,
you little demon elf!
293
00:13:04,721 --> 00:13:06,823
Order, order!
294
00:13:06,923 --> 00:13:08,358
Stop that!
295
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:09,426
Get him out of here!
296
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:10,661
You want the truth?
297
00:13:10,761 --> 00:13:13,230
You can't handle the truth!
298
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,398
Avenge me, Carly!
299
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,973
Um, Your Excellency...
300
00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:24,943
...in light of--
301
00:13:25,043 --> 00:13:26,878
well, you saw it--
302
00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:31,450
I hereby nominate myself
to represent myself.
303
00:13:32,217 --> 00:13:33,519
Can I do that?
304
00:13:33,619 --> 00:13:35,755
Only if you grab me
one of those cupcakes.
305
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:41,695
Carter, let's hurry.
306
00:13:41,795 --> 00:13:43,063
If we're late, they'll seat us
at a communal table,
307
00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:45,031
and I'm not sitting
next to a paralegal
308
00:13:45,131 --> 00:13:46,466
who had a bad day.
309
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:49,771
Or... we could always
just stay here.
310
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,105
Oh.
311
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,040
Hey, bestie!
312
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:56,143
Um... hey, Millicent.
313
00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,411
Now's not a good time.
314
00:13:57,511 --> 00:13:59,146
We're actually about
to go to dinner.
315
00:13:59,246 --> 00:14:00,916
Hey, little mama.
I'm Carter.
316
00:14:01,016 --> 00:14:04,086
I'm not your mother, Carter.
I'm Harper's bestie.
317
00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:07,222
Wait.
You guys are best friends? Cool.
318
00:14:07,322 --> 00:14:09,091
So are you really young,
or really short?
319
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:11,227
No judgment either way.
320
00:14:11,327 --> 00:14:14,931
So we're gonna go, but you can
stay as long as you like.
321
00:14:15,031 --> 00:14:18,568
Hold up. I got some questions
for this one.
322
00:14:18,668 --> 00:14:20,638
Where were you born?
What's your credit score?
323
00:14:20,738 --> 00:14:22,673
Why are you not wearing socks?
324
00:14:22,773 --> 00:14:25,943
You're not going on a boat.
Are you going on a boat?
325
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:29,113
Um... I should go.
326
00:14:29,213 --> 00:14:31,082
I think you need to put
your bestie in time-out.
327
00:14:31,182 --> 00:14:34,519
No, wait. You have such great
bone structure, please.
328
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,422
His loss, bestie.
329
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:39,891
Now, let's hang out forever.
330
00:14:44,163 --> 00:14:45,598
So what's your plan?
331
00:14:45,698 --> 00:14:48,300
I have called up the one
person who hates Lewbert
332
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,836
as much as we do.
333
00:14:52,072 --> 00:14:55,542
I'm going to turn that doorman
into a doormat.
334
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:56,543
Nailed it.
335
00:14:58,311 --> 00:15:01,114
Lewbert was a horrible menace
to everyone in the building.
336
00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:04,686
He turned the Bushwell
into the Bush hell.
337
00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:06,587
Nailed it again, Benson.
338
00:15:07,588 --> 00:15:10,291
Wow, Mrs. Benson,
thank you
339
00:15:10,391 --> 00:15:12,594
for that
case-shattering testimony.
340
00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:16,398
Lewbert, the witness
is all yours.
341
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:20,069
She was once mine,
wasn't she?
342
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,673
Hello, Marissa.
343
00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:25,608
Seeing you almost makes me
want to smile again.
344
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:28,378
But, sadly, I was robbed
of that ability
345
00:15:28,478 --> 00:15:30,613
by one Ms. Carly Shay.
346
00:15:30,714 --> 00:15:33,517
Can it, Lewb.
I'm not falling for it.
347
00:15:33,617 --> 00:15:35,286
But I fell for you.
348
00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:36,821
You nursed me back to health
349
00:15:36,921 --> 00:15:39,323
after Carly's exploding
muffin basket attack.
350
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:41,558
You put cream
on my--
351
00:15:41,659 --> 00:15:43,328
Oh, I can't even say it.
352
00:15:43,428 --> 00:15:44,462
Your wart.
353
00:15:46,331 --> 00:15:48,200
I can still smell your perfume.
354
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:52,370
And you never forget the scent
of your first love.
355
00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:54,507
Permission to kiss the witness.
356
00:15:54,607 --> 00:15:56,475
Permission freaking granted.
357
00:15:58,511 --> 00:16:00,814
Objection!
358
00:16:02,982 --> 00:16:05,986
Your Honor, are you gonna
let this just happen
359
00:16:06,086 --> 00:16:06,987
in your courtroom?
360
00:16:07,087 --> 00:16:08,222
Yeah.
361
00:16:08,322 --> 00:16:10,557
I am strangely into it.
362
00:16:11,425 --> 00:16:12,659
Ugh...
363
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,196
Mrs. Benson was
our last hope.
364
00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:17,065
We're screwed.
365
00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:21,602
Your Honor, I no longer
want to sue Ms. Carly Shay
366
00:16:21,703 --> 00:16:22,871
for one million dollars.
367
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:25,541
He didn't do
the pinky thing again!
368
00:16:25,641 --> 00:16:27,609
Thank God.
He's dropping the case.
369
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,678
Wrong again, Carlificent!
370
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:31,080
I just want more.
371
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,217
I want the money
and ownership of iCarly.
372
00:16:35,585 --> 00:16:37,487
What?
You can't take that from me.
373
00:16:37,587 --> 00:16:42,059
But you can take as much of me
as you want, you greedy bastard.
374
00:16:56,275 --> 00:16:58,077
This is really it.
Lewbert Sline is going
375
00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:00,245
to destroy my life.
376
00:17:00,345 --> 00:17:01,747
This is the end of iCarly.
377
00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:07,353
Freddie, Lewbert smiled.
378
00:17:08,421 --> 00:17:09,823
I think I know
how to win this.
379
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,861
Your Grace...
380
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:17,865
I, Carly Shay,
381
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:20,334
call myself, Carly Shay,
382
00:17:20,434 --> 00:17:21,735
to the stand.
383
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:24,806
If I may be permitted
this rare privilege.
384
00:17:24,906 --> 00:17:27,742
Dear, well, that literally
happens all the time.
385
00:17:27,843 --> 00:17:30,578
Well, it's new to me,
so I think it's exciting.
386
00:17:33,581 --> 00:17:37,220
Are you enjoying your adult meal
of cauliflower crust pizza
387
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,456
with cashew cheese
and tofu pepperoni?
388
00:17:40,556 --> 00:17:42,591
You can't just call things
other things
389
00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:44,828
and pretend they actually
taste good.
390
00:17:44,928 --> 00:17:48,065
So, thanks for taking me
to your lawyer's office
391
00:17:48,165 --> 00:17:49,433
so I can make a living will.
392
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:52,602
It was very fun,
and not at all depressing.
393
00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:54,738
Your life seems
like so much more fun
394
00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:56,842
- when I see you with Carly.
- Oh, at our age,
395
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,377
we're just riding high
on supplements.
396
00:18:00,178 --> 00:18:01,679
Oh, well, I'm out.
397
00:18:01,779 --> 00:18:03,348
Carly's getting killed
in trial,
398
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:05,283
and I gotta risk it all
to support her in court.
399
00:18:05,383 --> 00:18:07,987
- You got our pizza?
- Huh?
400
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,656
I got spa day,
you get this.
401
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,391
That's what adult besties do.
402
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,027
And you're
my adult bestie, right?
403
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,999
Yes, sure am, and I definitely
have the money.
404
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:22,635
Ha!
405
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:26,606
Okay, well, love you, mean it.
Bye, bestie.
406
00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:36,217
Oh, hello, Millicent.
407
00:18:36,317 --> 00:18:37,786
Fancy meeting you here.
408
00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:39,621
Olive, I was wrong.
409
00:18:39,721 --> 00:18:41,123
Grown-up stuff is not fun.
410
00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:44,359
They spend all their time
getting stuff reappraised.
411
00:18:45,727 --> 00:18:48,564
I'm sorry, Olive.
I should've been your bestie.
412
00:18:48,664 --> 00:18:50,100
Instead, I was your worstie.
413
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,267
I forgive you.
414
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:53,336
But, hey, who's gonna pay
415
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:55,771
- for this nasty pizza?
- Nobody.
416
00:18:55,872 --> 00:18:57,673
Kids dine and dash.
417
00:18:57,773 --> 00:18:59,310
Let's go, bestie.
418
00:19:01,212 --> 00:19:02,880
Dash, Olive, dash!
419
00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:09,888
Wow, three hours
of all my wrongdoings.
420
00:19:10,923 --> 00:19:11,890
You want to take a break?
421
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:15,227
Mm. I've got stamina.
422
00:19:15,327 --> 00:19:16,361
Just ask Marissa.
423
00:19:16,461 --> 00:19:18,596
I was perpetually exhausted.
424
00:19:18,697 --> 00:19:21,367
I am going to set myself
on fire.
425
00:19:23,102 --> 00:19:26,772
Is there anything
you'd like to say for yourself?
426
00:19:26,872 --> 00:19:31,445
Yes.
I want to say thank you.
427
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,714
Objection! I...
428
00:19:34,814 --> 00:19:36,183
Huh?
429
00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:39,220
Do you remember when you sneezed
into Spencer's open mouth
430
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,956
- and got him sick?
- Ooh, I do!
431
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:44,425
It tasted like seaweed
and dirty kitchen sponge.
432
00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:45,893
That was an accident.
433
00:19:45,994 --> 00:19:48,896
But that accident led
to so much more.
434
00:19:48,997 --> 00:19:51,333
After Spencer got sick,
he couldn't take me
435
00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:52,935
to the Air Force
- Father-
- Daughter Dance,
436
00:19:53,035 --> 00:19:55,804
so my dad came from Italy
and he took me instead.
437
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:59,641
Right after she said "no"
to me taking her.
438
00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,111
I'm fine.
439
00:20:01,211 --> 00:20:04,147
I went back with him to Italy,
where I fell in love
440
00:20:04,247 --> 00:20:05,715
with gelato.
441
00:20:05,815 --> 00:20:07,985
And then, when I came back here,
Skybucks was trying out
442
00:20:08,085 --> 00:20:10,221
these new gelato-infused lattes.
443
00:20:10,321 --> 00:20:12,190
Oh. "Ge-lattes."
444
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:13,591
We melted ice cream
into coffee
445
00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:16,360
and charged people $12.
Allegedly.
446
00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:20,565
And that's where I met Harper.
447
00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:22,634
I love who I am today.
448
00:20:22,734 --> 00:20:24,903
So, win or lose this case,
449
00:20:25,004 --> 00:20:26,938
no one can take that
away from me.
450
00:20:27,039 --> 00:20:33,246
My life is so much better now, thanks...
451
00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:35,581
to you.
452
00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:40,786
Your life is better?
453
00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:43,124
No!
454
00:20:45,126 --> 00:20:47,594
Are you kidding me?
455
00:20:47,694 --> 00:20:49,196
Her life is better?
456
00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:53,301
Three years of law school
457
00:20:53,401 --> 00:20:56,071
and student loans
458
00:20:56,171 --> 00:21:01,343
and selling my hair
like Fantine from Les Mis.
459
00:21:03,046 --> 00:21:06,182
Wait. Did you go to law school
just to get back at me?
460
00:21:06,282 --> 00:21:07,683
Of course I did!
461
00:21:07,783 --> 00:21:12,089
And now you thanking me!
462
00:21:20,564 --> 00:21:23,101
Oh, my God! The wart!
463
00:21:23,201 --> 00:21:25,903
- I need the name of that concealer.
- Same.
464
00:21:28,005 --> 00:21:29,640
Oh!
465
00:21:30,408 --> 00:21:31,909
Oh!
466
00:21:32,009 --> 00:21:33,379
Oof!
467
00:21:33,479 --> 00:21:35,481
No!
468
00:21:35,581 --> 00:21:37,349
Not again! Ugh!
469
00:21:43,923 --> 00:21:47,060
You see? This is
what I was talking about.
470
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:52,099
He's unhinged, untrustworthy,
and clearly unwell.
471
00:21:52,199 --> 00:21:54,435
I move to dismiss.
472
00:21:54,535 --> 00:21:57,805
Yes!
473
00:21:59,707 --> 00:22:03,312
No, that's not how court works.
474
00:22:03,412 --> 00:22:05,647
Why? He was faking everything.
475
00:22:05,747 --> 00:22:08,683
This man is guilty
of being shrill and repulsive,
476
00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:11,019
but you tormented him.
477
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,287
I'm ruling in his favor.
478
00:22:12,387 --> 00:22:14,190
So Lewbert gets my show?
479
00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:16,692
That's also not how court works.
480
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:18,861
Have you heard
of the First Amendment?
481
00:22:18,961 --> 00:22:22,132
You can't stop someone
from making an okay web show.
482
00:22:22,232 --> 00:22:24,835
Well, it's not for you,
Your Honor.
483
00:22:28,572 --> 00:22:31,375
Your actions have
consequences, Ms. Shay.
484
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:35,113
I'm awarding Mr. Sline
$250,000
485
00:22:35,213 --> 00:22:36,648
for pain and suffering.
486
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:40,618
You can cheer now.
487
00:22:43,521 --> 00:22:46,292
Yay. What a victory.
488
00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:51,330
To Carly, for putting Lewbert
in his place.
489
00:22:51,430 --> 00:22:55,635
And to Spencer,
for paying that settlement.
490
00:22:57,437 --> 00:22:59,005
What are brothers for?
491
00:22:59,105 --> 00:23:01,275
Sure, I won't be able
to get that animatronic giraffe
492
00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:03,843
that chews my salad for me.
493
00:23:03,943 --> 00:23:06,113
Just kidding, I'm getting it.
I'm really rich, guys.
494
00:23:07,182 --> 00:23:09,184
How'd you know your speech
was gonna crack Lewbert?
495
00:23:09,284 --> 00:23:11,819
'Cause he said he lost
his ability to smile,
496
00:23:11,919 --> 00:23:13,521
but then he smiled
when he thought
497
00:23:13,621 --> 00:23:15,323
I was gonna lose everything.
498
00:23:15,424 --> 00:23:16,492
I knew he was faking it.
499
00:23:16,592 --> 00:23:18,194
You know who isn't faking it?
500
00:23:18,294 --> 00:23:21,663
My mom. I really regret
sharing a wall.
501
00:23:22,498 --> 00:23:24,700
- Get it, Grandma B.
- Mm. Uh-uh.
502
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,169
Silver lining to the trial.
503
00:23:26,269 --> 00:23:28,605
Chuck and I made up.
He even got me another box
504
00:23:28,705 --> 00:23:30,540
of cupcakes
as a peace offering.
505
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,175
- Mm...
- No.
506
00:23:32,275 --> 00:23:33,676
Uh, people do change...
507
00:23:34,344 --> 00:23:36,079
Oh!
508
00:23:39,283 --> 00:23:41,285
Deliciously played, Chuck.
509
00:23:41,385 --> 00:23:42,653
Deliciously played.
510
00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:13,720
Ooh!
511
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:16,223
He hates these cans.
36409
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