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1
00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:07,209
What is it?
2
00:00:07,309 --> 00:00:10,112
What isn't it?
3
00:00:10,212 --> 00:00:13,783
It's a nine-layer brunch dip.
Combines all your favorites.
4
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,251
Thank you for filling out
my Google survey.
5
00:00:15,351 --> 00:00:16,853
I'm still not sure
why I had to tell you
6
00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:18,722
what deodorant I use.
7
00:00:18,822 --> 00:00:20,557
'Cause you smell
like an angel.
8
00:00:20,657 --> 00:00:23,661
For Carly, we have oatmeal,
berries and bacon.
9
00:00:23,761 --> 00:00:25,029
For Freddie, we've got
grapes, coffee
10
00:00:25,129 --> 00:00:26,864
and leftover pizza.
11
00:00:26,964 --> 00:00:29,600
And for Harper we've got
figs, caviar,
12
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:31,202
spicy Bloody Mary.
13
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:32,838
Dig in.
14
00:00:38,009 --> 00:00:40,179
Hey, Freddie, should you
be having a mimosa?
15
00:00:40,279 --> 00:00:42,181
I thought you were
on antibiotics for your...
16
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:45,685
special friend in your...
special place.
17
00:00:45,785 --> 00:00:48,488
Oh, you mean my penis parasite?
18
00:00:48,589 --> 00:00:49,723
I'm good.
19
00:00:49,823 --> 00:00:51,625
After two months
of round-the-clock meds,
20
00:00:51,725 --> 00:00:53,226
I can pee standing up again.
21
00:00:53,326 --> 00:00:55,697
It's a brand-new day
for my genitals.
22
00:00:55,797 --> 00:00:58,967
Did you see? There's a new
episode of my favorite show.
23
00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:02,003
Oh, no, don't tell me
Wes and Beau made a new one.
24
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,738
Okay, I won't tell you.
25
00:01:03,838 --> 00:01:05,407
Showing hurts more.
26
00:01:05,507 --> 00:01:06,709
Wake up, nation.
27
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:08,243
I'm Wes,
this is my boy Beau,
28
00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:10,580
and we're here
with another episode of...
29
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,281
The Weau Bros Show.
30
00:01:12,382 --> 00:01:15,852
Beau, my man, how are you
feeling today?
31
00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:20,056
Good, but, uh, also like... mad.
32
00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:22,627
Beau and I saved Carly's life
at Webicon,
33
00:01:22,727 --> 00:01:24,128
an event she dragged us to...
34
00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:25,763
on my Nonna's half-birthday.
35
00:01:25,863 --> 00:01:27,531
Whoa, bro.
36
00:01:27,632 --> 00:01:30,435
Then she dumped both of us
in a helicopter.
37
00:01:30,535 --> 00:01:34,339
Which was badass...
but mean.
38
00:01:35,307 --> 00:01:37,475
Now, no matter how many girls
I hook up with--
39
00:01:37,576 --> 00:01:40,747
- Which is a lot.
- Appreciate you, fam.
40
00:01:40,847 --> 00:01:42,048
I can't commit.
41
00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:44,183
All because of Carly.
42
00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:46,286
The Ice Queen.
43
00:01:46,386 --> 00:01:48,488
Ice Queen.
44
00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:53,828
I'd expect that from Beau,
but Wes?
45
00:01:53,928 --> 00:01:55,196
He's become such a douche,
46
00:01:55,296 --> 00:01:57,232
he makes Chet Hanks
look like Tom Hanks.
47
00:01:57,332 --> 00:02:01,569
Yeah. He works "craft beer"
into every conversation.
48
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:04,340
And they're having people
mail ice to the Ice Queen.
49
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,676
It makes no sense.
It melts.
50
00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:08,945
We just end up with wet boxes.
51
00:02:10,512 --> 00:02:12,582
Well, it's official.
52
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,217
The Internet hates me.
53
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:19,022
This is where you guys go,
"No, no."
54
00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:20,591
No, no.
55
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:22,226
Don't tell me what to do.
56
00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:26,230
I know, you see ♪
57
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,734
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
58
00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:32,104
And be so wonderful ♪
59
00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:36,141
♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
60
00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:37,811
It's your time to be ♪
61
00:02:37,911 --> 00:02:40,814
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
62
00:02:40,914 --> 00:02:42,448
And the time to see ♪
63
00:02:42,548 --> 00:02:46,821
♪ The brighter side
of every situation ♪
64
00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:48,622
Some things are meant to be ♪
65
00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:52,559
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me. ♪
66
00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:57,900
Oh, you're so lucky Double Dutch
left Kevin with you
67
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:58,867
while she's on tour.
68
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,102
I scraped my knee earlier
69
00:03:00,202 --> 00:03:01,569
and she came over
with a slipper.
70
00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,472
It wasn't what I needed
but it was so cute.
71
00:03:05,308 --> 00:03:07,410
So, dog still hates you?
72
00:03:07,510 --> 00:03:10,579
Yes, and if Kevin hates me,
Dutch is going to hate me.
73
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,817
This is the fourth meal
I've made her today.
74
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:16,320
But this beautiful
little idiot won't eat anything
75
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,454
I feed her.
76
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:22,160
No, she won't.
No, she won't.
77
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,196
Okay, it's all hands on deck.
78
00:03:25,296 --> 00:03:26,998
The Weau Bros Show's
latest video
79
00:03:27,098 --> 00:03:29,201
has me hemorrhaging subscribers.
80
00:03:29,301 --> 00:03:30,837
I need to win back
the Internet.
81
00:03:30,937 --> 00:03:32,004
Can't handle the pressure
82
00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:34,406
of being
the main character, huh?
83
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,075
I cannot.
84
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:37,444
Hit me, no bad ideas.
85
00:03:37,544 --> 00:03:39,479
How do I go from Ice Queen
to Nice Queen?
86
00:03:39,579 --> 00:03:42,783
Queen Latifah!
Is that anything?
87
00:03:42,883 --> 00:03:44,151
- Writing it down.
- Yeah!
88
00:03:44,251 --> 00:03:46,955
- Millicent, go.
- Um... pass.
89
00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:49,023
Writing that down too.
Harper?
90
00:03:49,123 --> 00:03:51,259
Everyone, meet
Dr. Pearl Wallace.
91
00:03:51,359 --> 00:03:53,729
She's the Kevin app's
certified animal therapist.
92
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:56,131
We already met on Zoom.
93
00:03:56,231 --> 00:03:58,167
Hey, what's a certified
animal therapist?
94
00:03:58,267 --> 00:04:01,136
A pet psychic
with student loan debt.
95
00:04:01,236 --> 00:04:02,739
Pearl's here to help with Kevin.
96
00:04:02,839 --> 00:04:06,276
We can hear you two fighting
all the way down the hall.
97
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:09,079
All right then, let's see
what you can do,
98
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:11,248
little Miss Wild Thornberry.
99
00:04:11,348 --> 00:04:13,885
Her drop-dead beautiful
exterior's masking
100
00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:15,319
a seething inner rage.
101
00:04:15,419 --> 00:04:17,388
Then we should be
connecting better,
102
00:04:17,488 --> 00:04:19,758
'cause that's my whole deal too.
103
00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:23,561
You want a treat,
you majestic floof?
104
00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:25,263
It's not the food
you feed the dog,
105
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,032
it's the energy
you feed the dog.
106
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:31,237
I know you're helping,
but I hate you.
107
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:34,607
If she meant that,
you'd be crying already.
108
00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:36,010
Thanks again for coming.
109
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,013
I could never leave a dog,
or my favorite CEO,
110
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,514
in distress.
111
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,217
Well, you're my favorite
certified animal therapist.
112
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,587
You're the only one I know,
but still, congrats.
113
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:47,755
- Bye.
- Bye.
114
00:04:47,856 --> 00:04:48,924
I'll see you
at the launch party.
115
00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:51,459
- See you on Zoom.
- Bye.
116
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:52,929
Speaking of the launch party,
117
00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:54,063
how's the planning
going, Spencer?
118
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,732
Amazing.
We're going primal.
119
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:58,667
I thought we could all eat
with our hands tied
120
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,538
behind our backs
like the animals do.
121
00:05:01,638 --> 00:05:04,207
Spencer, I'm still trying
to rebuild my reputation
122
00:05:04,307 --> 00:05:05,442
after my last failed start-up,
123
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,110
and this is my opportunity
to prove
124
00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:08,778
that I'm
a serious businessman.
125
00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,748
This party needs to be
the opposite of lit.
126
00:05:10,849 --> 00:05:14,285
So let's get...
dim?
127
00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:15,887
I can keep an eye
on Spencer.
128
00:05:15,987 --> 00:05:18,590
Good idea. Millicent is great
at serious parties.
129
00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:21,760
The theme of her tenth birthday
was The Magna Carta.
130
00:05:21,861 --> 00:05:23,162
Tenth and eleventh.
131
00:05:23,262 --> 00:05:25,230
Establishing the power of law
is not something
132
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:26,967
that can be contained
to one afternoon
133
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,902
- at a Build-
- A-Bear.
134
00:05:29,002 --> 00:05:30,270
Great, that's settled.
135
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:32,105
Now help me, please.
136
00:05:32,205 --> 00:05:33,439
I know I said
there are no bad ideas,
137
00:05:33,539 --> 00:05:36,978
but are you seeing
this whiteboard?
138
00:05:37,078 --> 00:05:38,312
You gotta top Queen Latifah.
139
00:05:38,412 --> 00:05:41,415
With what?!
140
00:05:44,086 --> 00:05:46,421
Have you tried just
talking with them directly?
141
00:05:46,521 --> 00:05:50,258
Oh, you mean handle
my problems in the most direct
142
00:05:50,358 --> 00:05:52,828
and adult way possible?
143
00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:54,530
No, I have not.
144
00:05:58,634 --> 00:06:01,071
Man, this was
such a bad idea.
145
00:06:01,171 --> 00:06:02,472
I thought if I had
Wes and Beau on my show,
146
00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:04,608
I could tell
my side of the story.
147
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,643
But look at them.
148
00:06:06,743 --> 00:06:09,347
They're so committed
to this bit.
149
00:06:09,447 --> 00:06:11,649
Can we get started?
It's hot in here.
150
00:06:11,749 --> 00:06:13,118
Maybe you should take
those adorable
151
00:06:13,218 --> 00:06:15,120
woodland creatures
off your heads.
152
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:17,356
The winter gear
is because Carly...
153
00:06:17,456 --> 00:06:20,359
Is an Ice Queen.
154
00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:22,128
Freddie, please
just do the countdown.
155
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:25,598
In five, four,
156
00:06:25,698 --> 00:06:27,634
three, two.
157
00:06:27,734 --> 00:06:31,838
Hey, friends. As promised,
I've got two very special guests
158
00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:35,944
for this very special
live episode of iCarly.
159
00:06:36,044 --> 00:06:39,680
Everybody's favorite
- ex-
- BF's turned BFF's...
160
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:44,586
Wes and Beau.
161
00:06:44,686 --> 00:06:46,455
They're here to have
a good long chat
162
00:06:46,555 --> 00:06:49,925
about their feelings,
'cause when boys have feelings,
163
00:06:50,025 --> 00:06:51,761
everybody needs to know.
164
00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:57,433
Look, I never wanted
to hurt either of you.
165
00:06:57,533 --> 00:07:00,204
But you both told me
that you loved me,
166
00:07:00,304 --> 00:07:02,806
and I didn't
feel the same,
167
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,142
so I thought it'd be worse
to lead you on.
168
00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:06,543
I really am sorry.
169
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:09,381
If you really don't want
to date either of us,
170
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,183
you must not be capable
of love at all.
171
00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:13,385
You're gonna be
a lonely, alone person.
172
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:16,689
No hobbies, no boyfriend,
just you and your word searches.
173
00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:18,124
That's not true!
174
00:07:18,224 --> 00:07:20,393
- I will have a boyfriend.
- Yeah.
175
00:07:20,493 --> 00:07:22,595
Because I do have a boyfriend.
176
00:07:24,297 --> 00:07:27,667
I'm in a hot,
hot relationship...
177
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:33,874
that is very hot,
and very relationship.
178
00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:38,046
Well, that wraps up
this very special episode.
179
00:07:38,146 --> 00:07:40,948
Wait. With who?
180
00:07:43,052 --> 00:07:45,988
What a rude question.
181
00:07:48,124 --> 00:07:49,591
Uh...
182
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:54,464
- Um...
- Me!
183
00:07:54,564 --> 00:07:57,667
Yes. Freddie
is my boyfriend.
184
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:03,641
Whoa, bro.
185
00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:18,558
Freddie, our first date as
a fake couple is going amazing.
186
00:08:18,658 --> 00:08:21,927
I can read my viewer comments
without bursting into tears.
187
00:08:22,028 --> 00:08:24,698
No more death threats, baby.
188
00:08:24,798 --> 00:08:27,234
You know, I'm actually glad
the apple orchard was closed.
189
00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:30,537
Digging for onions
is equally romantic.
190
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:32,339
Hey, how's this for a caption?
191
00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:36,178
- "Our love has layers."
- Yes.
192
00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:41,050
Ooh, hey. Do you think Millicent
would like this onion root doll?
193
00:08:42,085 --> 00:08:45,154
Actually, yeah.
194
00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:46,655
Thanks for doing this.
195
00:08:46,755 --> 00:08:48,091
I know you're really busy.
196
00:08:48,191 --> 00:08:50,094
Hey. What are producers
slash best friends
197
00:08:50,194 --> 00:08:51,861
slash sort of exes for?
198
00:08:51,961 --> 00:08:53,763
Plus, it's good publicity
for my app.
199
00:08:53,863 --> 00:08:55,599
This is working out so well.
200
00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:57,734
And all I had to do was
what women have been doing
201
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,270
since the dawn of time:
202
00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:02,240
Say I have a boyfriend
to get men to stop bothering me.
203
00:09:03,741 --> 00:09:05,810
Oh, it's them.
204
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,780
We went to three different
onion patches to find you guys.
205
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,083
We've been waiting years
for you two to get together.
206
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,718
We're obsessed.
207
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,853
Emily, shut up.
Be cool.
208
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,856
We wanna hear
exactly how it happened.
209
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:20,193
Take us
- on the "In-
- Creddie-ble" journey.
210
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,495
- We're obsessed.
- Emily.
211
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,698
When did you know?
Where did you know?
212
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:28,068
Oh, my God,
how did you know?
213
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,807
He pulled up to my house,
and he held a boombox
214
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:35,644
over his head and--
215
00:09:35,744 --> 00:09:39,114
You guys don't know
who John Cusack is, do you?
216
00:09:39,214 --> 00:09:40,516
That's exactly what happened.
217
00:09:40,616 --> 00:09:43,018
Aw!
218
00:09:43,119 --> 00:09:45,588
- Obsessed.
- Emily.
219
00:09:45,688 --> 00:09:48,992
Creddie forevvie.
See, it's on my shirt.
220
00:09:49,793 --> 00:09:51,528
Mom. What are you doing here?
221
00:09:51,628 --> 00:09:53,264
She was our ride.
222
00:09:53,364 --> 00:09:56,567
You're not my first choice,
but I trust Fredward's judgment.
223
00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,236
Just remember,
you may sleep with him,
224
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,606
but I'm the one
who tucks him in.
225
00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:03,208
Let's see you kiss.
226
00:10:03,308 --> 00:10:05,042
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
227
00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:06,612
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
228
00:10:06,712 --> 00:10:08,547
Kiss. Kiss. Come on.
229
00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:14,488
Ooh. Steamy.
230
00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:16,256
Get a room.
231
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:20,594
He gets his raw animal magnetism
from my side of the family.
232
00:10:20,694 --> 00:10:24,765
One ticket to the family
reunion, please.
233
00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:26,667
I'm not gonna tell you again,
you gotta stop it.
234
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:38,547
You are very tense,
235
00:10:38,647 --> 00:10:41,884
which is ridiculous
because you live an easy life.
236
00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:45,154
- You are being impossible.
- No, I'm not!
237
00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,824
- Harper, this launch party--
- Shh.
238
00:10:47,924 --> 00:10:50,428
Dutch texted asking
for a picture of us together,
239
00:10:50,528 --> 00:10:52,930
so I'm trying
to get her to relax.
240
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:56,234
I haven't rubbed on a bitch
this much since prom night.
241
00:10:56,635 --> 00:10:58,537
Got it. Would you please
tell Millicent
242
00:10:58,637 --> 00:11:00,572
that Freddie
put me in charge?
243
00:11:00,672 --> 00:11:03,141
But Freddie put me
in charge of Spencer.
244
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:05,711
I am a
year-old man.
245
00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:10,182
I know parties.
Two words: Human bowling ball.
246
00:11:11,651 --> 00:11:13,487
Whereas I'm thinking
classical music,
247
00:11:13,587 --> 00:11:15,856
understated florals
and soft cheeses
248
00:11:15,956 --> 00:11:17,057
with unpronounceable names.
249
00:11:17,824 --> 00:11:21,728
Spencer, Freddie is counting
on you to make this party adult.
250
00:11:21,828 --> 00:11:24,332
You need to listen
to the 11-year-old.
251
00:11:24,432 --> 00:11:28,270
Fine, but only for Freddie.
And you.
252
00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,073
And Harper,
'cause I respect her opinion.
253
00:11:38,514 --> 00:11:40,284
Be longer.
254
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:45,355
Hello-- Oh, my God,
that is your entire back.
255
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,459
Yep. Just casually 30% naked.
256
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,562
Can you come zip me up?
257
00:11:51,662 --> 00:11:52,797
Yeah.
258
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,436
This whole fake
relationship thing
259
00:11:57,536 --> 00:12:03,342
isn't bringing up any
real feelings for you, is it?
260
00:12:03,442 --> 00:12:05,778
Nah. No.
261
00:12:05,878 --> 00:12:07,580
Why, what about you?
262
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,417
Did my kiss unlock
some dark, secret yearning
263
00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:13,253
lying dormant at the bottom
of your heart?
264
00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:15,923
No. Of the eight times
we've kissed,
265
00:12:16,023 --> 00:12:17,991
I'd rank that one... seventh.
266
00:12:18,892 --> 00:12:21,730
- So. Big launch party tonight.
- Yeah.
267
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,633
You ready to act all
lovey-dovey on my livestream?
268
00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:26,635
I will be.
269
00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,404
Um... Actually, can you...
My mom normally...
270
00:12:29,504 --> 00:12:33,208
Yeah. Okay, mm, this goes
271
00:12:33,309 --> 00:12:36,646
through here tight,
and then here, and...
272
00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:40,717
Wow, I did not know
I knew how to do this.
273
00:12:40,817 --> 00:12:43,887
My Avril Lavigne phase
really paid off.
274
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:48,526
Oh, s-sorry to interrupt.
275
00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:50,462
No, you're not interrupting.
276
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,796
I think you might wanna
get to the party.
277
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,834
- It looks a bit... somber.
- Somber?
278
00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:02,441
Who died?
279
00:13:03,977 --> 00:13:06,480
Apparently you.
280
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:09,048
- Then what's in the coffin?
- Bones.
281
00:13:09,148 --> 00:13:10,784
Ooh, bones for dogs
to chew on,
282
00:13:10,884 --> 00:13:13,187
but still, not great.
283
00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:15,723
Ah? So? Is this
serious enough for you?
284
00:13:15,823 --> 00:13:19,193
Yeah, you really
got the message across.
285
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:21,797
That my app is dead on arrival.
286
00:13:21,897 --> 00:13:25,266
Before you judge,
have you seen the soft cheeses?
287
00:13:26,234 --> 00:13:27,936
It's everything you wanted.
288
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:31,474
Chic dress code,
focus on you, boring as hell.
289
00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:34,611
Spencer, look around you.
290
00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:37,313
What sad event
does this remind you of?
291
00:13:41,919 --> 00:13:43,220
- Oh.
- Yep, yep, yep.
292
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,456
We threw a funeral.
293
00:13:45,556 --> 00:13:46,925
I gotta go see
if I can salvage this.
294
00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:49,260
Spencer, can you please, just--
I don't know,
295
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,862
brighten the place up a bit?
296
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:52,564
I'm on it!
297
00:13:57,803 --> 00:14:00,773
Hi, I was told
to brighten things up.
298
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:06,346
Ha, ha. Can I have
either of your phone numbers?
299
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:11,519
- Wow. You guys look amazing.
- Thank you.
300
00:14:11,619 --> 00:14:13,955
Based on Spencer's description,
I figured we should dress
301
00:14:14,055 --> 00:14:17,258
for a funeral that he didn't
know he was throwing.
302
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:19,393
Mm.
303
00:14:19,494 --> 00:14:20,663
No, no, no, it's a cake
for eating.
304
00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:23,098
I don't want anyone
to pop out of it.
305
00:14:23,198 --> 00:14:24,833
Well, let her out.
306
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,402
Is there anything
I can do to help?
307
00:14:27,503 --> 00:14:28,805
I need this party to be fun.
308
00:14:28,905 --> 00:14:31,675
I have access
to a lot of animal drugs.
309
00:14:31,775 --> 00:14:34,911
Oh, I am joking about that.
I've never done weed.
310
00:14:35,011 --> 00:14:36,781
No one cool has.
311
00:14:38,916 --> 00:14:40,518
I should've planned
this party myself.
312
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,252
I was too focused on iCarly.
313
00:14:42,352 --> 00:14:45,724
Of course you were. I mean,
Carly's your girlfriend, so...
314
00:14:45,824 --> 00:14:47,459
Oh, no, no.
Carly's not my girlfriend.
315
00:14:47,559 --> 00:14:50,328
That's just for the channel.
I'm single. Very single.
316
00:14:50,428 --> 00:14:51,663
Not in an undateable way.
317
00:14:51,763 --> 00:14:54,801
Just a regular... very single.
318
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,736
Oh. Neat.
319
00:14:56,836 --> 00:14:59,506
I mean, whatever.
320
00:14:59,606 --> 00:15:02,843
But I mean neat.
I think it's neat.
321
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,012
You do?
322
00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:09,416
Buddy, you gotta pick up
the pace.
323
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,122
Nope.
324
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:20,696
This party looks
like a home run to me!
325
00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:23,699
Hey, everyone,
326
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:27,169
coming to you live
from my love's launch party.
327
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:30,774
The Kevin app is the cutting
edge of animal therapy.
328
00:15:30,874 --> 00:15:31,808
It really is.
329
00:15:31,908 --> 00:15:33,143
I downloaded it ten minutes ago
330
00:15:33,243 --> 00:15:34,578
and now I don't feel bad
about my passive role
331
00:15:34,678 --> 00:15:36,113
in climate change.
332
00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:39,250
You're so strong, Tati.
You're my best friend.
333
00:15:40,084 --> 00:15:43,020
Look. I had my grandmother's
ring sized for Carly.
334
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,623
Just in case.
335
00:15:44,723 --> 00:15:45,991
How'd you know
Carly's ring size?
336
00:15:46,091 --> 00:15:47,926
What?
Are you accusing me
337
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:49,862
of breaking in last night
while Carly was asleep,
338
00:15:49,962 --> 00:15:52,397
measuring her finger,
then singing a few bars
339
00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:54,968
of "Landslide" just to ensure
pleasant dreams?
340
00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:57,103
Harper, you are so silly.
341
00:15:57,203 --> 00:15:58,905
Now, where is the hubby-to-be?
342
00:15:59,005 --> 00:16:01,007
Let's go find him.
343
00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:05,546
Freddie, my little stinker,
your mom did something
344
00:16:05,646 --> 00:16:10,586
very sweet and expensive
and a dot illegal.
345
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,420
Come check it out.
346
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,130
I should have warned you,
that kind of sexual charisma
347
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,399
cannot be contained.
348
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,334
My little Burt Reynolds.
349
00:16:33,711 --> 00:16:35,313
I know what you have to do.
350
00:16:35,413 --> 00:16:36,815
Dump me.
351
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:38,249
I'm a dirty, rotten cheater.
You gotta cut me loose.
352
00:16:38,349 --> 00:16:40,952
No, I can't let you take
the fall for this.
353
00:16:41,052 --> 00:16:42,186
This is your launch party.
354
00:16:42,286 --> 00:16:43,554
Don't you see?
This is the answer
355
00:16:43,656 --> 00:16:46,058
to your problem,
people love a woman scorned.
356
00:16:46,158 --> 00:16:47,593
But they don't love
a woman angry.
357
00:16:47,693 --> 00:16:49,028
Only men get to do that.
358
00:16:49,128 --> 00:16:52,465
So, do whatever you want,
but be chill about it.
359
00:16:53,399 --> 00:16:57,037
Okay. Thanks, Freddie.
360
00:16:57,137 --> 00:17:00,240
And also, I'm sorry.
361
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:03,310
- For what?
- This.
362
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:09,551
Who was that for?
363
00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:15,758
Dutch.
364
00:17:15,858 --> 00:17:17,994
Oh, it's my two girls.
365
00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:20,296
Yeah, the two amigas.
366
00:17:20,396 --> 00:17:22,465
Kevin, let's show mommy
that game we play
367
00:17:22,565 --> 00:17:25,970
where you pretend you can't
stand to be held by me.
368
00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:29,840
Oh, yeah, great job.
You doing it.
369
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:32,176
We had fun.
370
00:17:32,276 --> 00:17:35,213
Harper, my tour got extended.
371
00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:41,619
Oh. Congratulations.
That's-that's such great news.
372
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,455
I'm really happy
for you.
373
00:17:43,555 --> 00:17:45,958
You must be confused
because I look devastated,
374
00:17:46,058 --> 00:17:48,828
but I just have resting
devastated face.
375
00:17:48,928 --> 00:17:51,799
Come with me.
My next stop is Bavaria.
376
00:17:51,899 --> 00:17:54,501
They say it's the Texas
of Germany.
377
00:17:54,601 --> 00:17:57,537
As restrictive to my rights
as that place sounds,
378
00:17:57,637 --> 00:17:59,139
I can't just pick up
and leave.
379
00:17:59,239 --> 00:18:02,176
The thing is I'm gone
for six months.
380
00:18:02,276 --> 00:18:05,013
Oh. I guess we could
try long distance?
381
00:18:05,113 --> 00:18:07,415
Oh. No, I can't.
382
00:18:07,515 --> 00:18:10,820
Phone sex is
illegal in Germany.
383
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,723
Maybe we just have
to wait until we're back
384
00:18:13,823 --> 00:18:15,257
in the same place.
385
00:18:15,357 --> 00:18:16,692
Which is what we said
we were going to do.
386
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:19,830
Uh, only instead of six days
from now,
387
00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,164
it's six months
from now.
388
00:18:21,264 --> 00:18:22,665
Look, I...
389
00:18:22,766 --> 00:18:25,369
I know you're right
but this just really sucks.
390
00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,571
It does.
But you know what could
391
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,441
really help?
Why don't you keep Kevin?
392
00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:32,143
No.
393
00:18:32,243 --> 00:18:36,715
I mean, she would
just remind me of you.
394
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:38,616
That makes sense.
395
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:43,156
Okay, well, I'll just have
my mom pick her up, then.
396
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,525
Goodbye, Harper.
For now.
397
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,461
Bye.
398
00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:03,979
Aw. Thanks, Kev.
399
00:19:05,747 --> 00:19:09,085
Wait, her mom could've
taken you this whole time?
400
00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:16,126
It's like I finally got a taste
of what real love looks like,
401
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:18,195
then poof,
402
00:19:18,295 --> 00:19:21,164
it's touring
the Black Forest.
403
00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:25,003
I love Bavaria.
It reminds me of Texas.
404
00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:28,139
Do you think Pearl and Carly
have the same size ring finger?
405
00:19:28,239 --> 00:19:31,542
It looks that way,
but Carly's all knuckle.
406
00:19:33,779 --> 00:19:35,314
Here lies Creddie.
407
00:19:35,414 --> 00:19:37,216
- We had a good run.
- Mm-hmm.
408
00:19:37,316 --> 00:19:39,819
Until I killed it
with my lusty ways.
409
00:19:39,919 --> 00:19:41,421
I'm a bad, bad boyfriend.
410
00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:43,756
Probably because
I'm such a good CEO.
411
00:19:43,857 --> 00:19:47,293
And that is why I have
magnanimously and warmfully
412
00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:49,495
ended things with Freddie.
413
00:19:49,595 --> 00:19:53,300
Please respect our privacy
during this difficult time.
414
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,169
In lieu of being mad at him,
415
00:19:55,269 --> 00:19:57,238
donations can be made
to the Pear store
416
00:19:57,338 --> 00:20:00,075
in the form of purchasing
the Kevin app.
417
00:20:00,175 --> 00:20:01,476
Boo!
418
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,311
- Now, now, don't boo Freddie.
- We're not.
419
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,380
We're booing Pearl.
420
00:20:07,116 --> 00:20:08,651
She's a homewrecker!
421
00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:10,887
Shut up, Emily.
422
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:12,055
Preddie forevvie.
423
00:20:12,155 --> 00:20:13,789
Mrs. Benson!
424
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:15,926
I love who Freddie loves.
425
00:20:16,026 --> 00:20:18,662
Carly can choke.
426
00:20:18,762 --> 00:20:20,697
I've known you my whole life.
427
00:20:20,797 --> 00:20:22,332
You taught me
how to use a tampon.
428
00:20:22,432 --> 00:20:24,836
Oh, I'll teach you too, dear.
429
00:20:27,338 --> 00:20:30,842
And hating Pearl
is an insane opinion.
430
00:20:30,942 --> 00:20:32,378
Insane, but popular.
431
00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:34,780
"Pearl makes me hurl"
is trending.
432
00:20:34,881 --> 00:20:37,683
Maybe they're talking
about a different Pearl.
433
00:20:37,783 --> 00:20:39,351
No, your last name's
Wallace, right?
434
00:20:39,451 --> 00:20:41,788
And you live
at 416 North Bell Creek Terrace?
435
00:20:41,889 --> 00:20:46,293
She got doxxed?
How did that happen?
436
00:20:46,393 --> 00:20:49,563
Put her driver's license back.
437
00:20:49,663 --> 00:20:52,500
And stop the organ music!
438
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,870
Here.
Freddie, get this.
439
00:20:57,706 --> 00:21:00,675
Freddie and I
were never together.
440
00:21:00,775 --> 00:21:02,777
I just said that because people
441
00:21:02,878 --> 00:21:04,113
were demonizing me
442
00:21:04,213 --> 00:21:07,250
for not reciprocating
Wes and Beau's feelings.
443
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,953
And Freddie's...
444
00:21:10,053 --> 00:21:11,387
Freddie's the best, so...
445
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,223
he went along with it.
446
00:21:13,323 --> 00:21:17,128
And he and Pearl
would be great together.
447
00:21:17,228 --> 00:21:18,629
You can hate me.
448
00:21:18,729 --> 00:21:21,332
At least you'll be
hating me for the truth.
449
00:21:23,401 --> 00:21:25,237
Please don't hate me.
450
00:21:29,341 --> 00:21:31,343
Boom! Brightened it up.
451
00:21:32,545 --> 00:21:34,113
Who was that for?
452
00:21:38,284 --> 00:21:39,987
"Dang, Carly, stop lying.
453
00:21:40,087 --> 00:21:41,588
"We've all been cheated on.
454
00:21:41,688 --> 00:21:43,623
"Pathetic how you're trying
to save face by pretending
455
00:21:43,723 --> 00:21:45,960
the relationship
never existed."
456
00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:49,497
Oh. "Carly, I would never
cheat on you, queen."
457
00:21:49,597 --> 00:21:50,865
Then ten minutes later,
he called you a lot
458
00:21:50,966 --> 00:21:53,168
of mean names
for not responding.
459
00:21:55,636 --> 00:21:58,840
"Freddie is a baller."
"Freddie is a boss."
460
00:21:58,941 --> 00:22:01,343
"Freddie, can I be
your third girlfriend?"
461
00:22:01,443 --> 00:22:03,812
Oh, wow, she is pretty.
462
00:22:03,912 --> 00:22:07,850
Gross. This-this is bad.
I hate this.
463
00:22:09,086 --> 00:22:12,289
Well, now they're
sending you vacuums,
464
00:22:12,389 --> 00:22:14,692
'cause you suck.
465
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:19,197
Ooh, a Dyson.
Thank you, hater.
466
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,665
You okay, Carly?
467
00:22:21,765 --> 00:22:24,536
People are gonna think
what they wanna think.
468
00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:26,838
And my real fans
never left me.
469
00:22:26,938 --> 00:22:29,474
That's who
I make content for.
470
00:22:29,574 --> 00:22:32,245
Them and the people
who hate watching on repeat.
471
00:22:32,345 --> 00:22:34,347
Still counts.
472
00:22:34,447 --> 00:22:36,516
Did you guys see
the new Weau Bros Show?
473
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:39,520
Spencer, you get
to shoot a reaction vid
474
00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:42,423
of me watching Carly watch it.
475
00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:45,426
I'm just saying,
I respect Carly
476
00:22:45,526 --> 00:22:46,827
for standing up for Pearl.
477
00:22:46,927 --> 00:22:49,864
Nah, bro, all women
are the same.
478
00:22:49,964 --> 00:22:52,967
That is a really myopic view
of gender and personality.
479
00:22:53,068 --> 00:22:57,240
Look, man. I don't know
what "myopic" means,
480
00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:59,342
but I know
I don't like it!
481
00:22:59,442 --> 00:23:01,444
I quit!
482
00:23:01,544 --> 00:23:04,881
But I just bought you all
that yogurt for the break room!
483
00:23:06,116 --> 00:23:08,418
Whoa, bro.
484
00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:37,717
Ooh.
485
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,020
He hates these cans!
35631
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