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It's The Muppet Show with our
special guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzi.
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,733
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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I finally found a sure way to lose weight.
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I bought a scale that lies.
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[LAUGHING]
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♪ To introduce our guest star ♪
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♪ That's what it's time to do ♪
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♪ So it really makes me happy ♪
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♪ To introduce to you ♪
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Miss Ruth Buzzi.
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♪ But now let's get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[FANFARE PLAYS]
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Hi, gang, and welcome to the show.
Hey, I feel good tonight for two reasons.
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One, Scooter's uncle has extended
the lease on our theater
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which gives us a roof over our head.
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And two, our special guest star
is Miss Ruth Buzzi,
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which is enough to make anyone feel good.
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But now, let's get the show underway
with some musical mayhem.
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Hit it, boys.
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[PLAYING]
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♪ Sunny ♪
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♪ Yesterday my life was filled with rain ♪
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Too slow!
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[MUSIC INCREASES SPEED]
♪ Sunny ♪
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♪ You smiled at me
And really eased the pain ♪
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♪ Dark days are done
Bright days are here ♪
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♪ My sunny one shines so sincere ♪
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♪ Oh, sunny one so true ♪
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♪ I love you ♪
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Faster!
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[MUSIC INCREASES SPEED]
♪ Sunny ♪
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All right!
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♪ Thank you for the sunshine bouquet ♪
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♪ Sunny ♪
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♪ Thank you for the love
You brought my way ♪
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♪ You gave to me your all in all ♪
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♪ Now I feel I'm ten feet tall ♪
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♪ Oh, sunny one so true, I love you ♪
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Faster!
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-[SPEED INCREASES] ♪ Sunny
-Sunny! ♪
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♪ Thank you for the truth you let me see ♪
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What's going on?
Sunny... What's happening?
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♪ Thank you for the facts from A to Z ♪
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♪ My life was torn like windblown sand ♪
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♪ And a rock was formed
When we held hands ♪
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♪ -Oh, sunny one so true, I love you
-Yeah! ♪
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What's happening? Sunny... Wait a minute.
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♪ Thank you for the smile upon your face
Oh, Sunny ♪
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♪ You're my spark of nature's fire
You're my complete desire ♪
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♪ -Oh, sunny one so true, I love you
-Yeah! ♪
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Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
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[APPLAUDING]
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-Too fast. Too fast.
-Nice, nice.
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-Tell him to lighten up, man,
-Yeah, I will, okay.
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-Ahh.
-Take it easy, Animal.
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-Hi, Kermit. Hey, Kermit.
-Scooter. Scooter.
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-Scooter, what is this?
-Oh, that's a crate.
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I can see it's a crate,
but who's responsible for it?
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-Oh, I am.
-Scooter!
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What makes you think you can bring
a crate into the backstage?
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-My uncle owns the theater.
-And a nice crate it is too.
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-Thank you.
-May I ask you what is in it?
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-Sure, go ahead,
-What is in it?
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Well, it's a mechanical
windup TV show host.
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-A mechanical windup TV show host?
-Right.
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Scooter, that is the dumbest,
the craziest, most ridiculous idea
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you have ever-- Agh!
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Good grief.
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-Scooter, you're out of your mind!
-Mm-hm.
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Be careful, frog.
His uncle owns the theater.
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Wait a minute. Oh!
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Ha, ha!
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[BAND PLAYING BALLROOM DANCE MUSIC]
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[PANTING]
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I wish they had rock 'n' roll in the '40s.
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-Why?
-We'd be dead by now.
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Don't you see? You've got to be strong,
You've got to stand on your own two feet.
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-But that's the problem,
-What?
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I've got three feet.
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Oh, my dear, you are so lovely.
Have I ever seen you in the movies?
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Well, I don't think so, I hardly ever go.
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Don't you feel stupid with three feet?
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Sure, but the other one didn't come back
from the cleaners.
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You know, I have a bone to pick with you.
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Too late, I just buried it.
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Do you really have three feet?
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Sure, One, two, three.
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Agh!
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Three feet and one broken back.
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Well, I think I'll go stretch my legs.
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I'll do it for you.
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[GRUNTING]
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Ha, ha!
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Well, time soon for the handsome frog here
to make another one of his introductions,
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I will check myself
and see how I look in the mirror.
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00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:38,148
Scooter, where did you get this
ridiculous windup TV-show host?
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-I was a gift from his uncle,
-Welcome to the show.
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With a few exceptions,
the characters on this program
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are weird and peculiar,
and not to be trusted.
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One of those exceptions,
aside from myself, of course,
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is the wonderful singing team
of Wayne and Wanda.
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They've really rehearsed this one,
so they're sure to get it right.
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Here they are, Wayne and Wanda,
with "Row, Row, Row."
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♪ Young Johnnie Jones
He had a cute little boat ♪
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♪ And all the girlies
I would take for a float ♪
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♪ He had girlies on the shore ♪
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♪ Sweet little peaches by the score ♪
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♪ But Johnnie was a wisenheimer you know ♪
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♪ A steady girl was Flo ♪
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♪ And every Sunday afternoon ♪
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♪ She'd jump in his boat
And they would spoon ♪
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♪ And then he'd row, row, row ♪
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NEWSCASTER:
Here's a Muppet news flash.
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The Atlantic Ocean has just been
kidnapped. Disappearance of the ocean
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was first reported by lighthouse
keeper Murray Patterson.
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He was awakened late last night when 500
fish pounded on his door asking for water.
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00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,877
Authorities suspect that the ocean
is being held prisoner
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in an apartment somewhere in Newark.
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A ransom note has reportedly
been received.
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00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,302
The kidnappers are demanding
two Christmases each year
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and a hug from Mommy every night.
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Ladies and gentlemen, a lady you loved
on Laugh-In and hundreds of other shows.
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A comedian, an actress, a singer,
a dancer, and a lot of fun at parties,
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our guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzi.
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[FANFARE]
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[MUSIC PLAYS]
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♪ You're just too good to be true ♪
137
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♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪
138
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,353
♪ You'd be like heaven to touch ♪
139
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[SHATTERS]
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♪ I want to hold you so much ♪
141
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[GRUNTS]
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♪ At last love has arrived ♪
143
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♪ Then I thank God I'm alive ♪
144
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♪ You're just too good to be true ♪
145
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♪ Can't take my eyes off you ♪
146
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♪ Pardon the way that I stare ♪
147
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♪ There's nothing else to compare ♪
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00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:04,604
♪ The sight of you leaves me weak ♪
149
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♪ There are no words left to speak ♪
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00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,987
♪ But if you feel like I feel ♪
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[GRUNTING]
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♪ Please let me know that it's real ♪
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♪ You're just too good to be true ♪
154
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♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪
155
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♪ I love you, baby ♪
156
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♪ And if it's quite all right ♪
157
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♪ I need you, baby ♪
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♪ To warm the lonely night ♪
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♪ I love you, baby ♪
160
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:05,123
♪ Trust in me when I say ♪
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♪ Oh, pretty baby ♪
162
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♪ Don't bring me down, I pray ♪
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♪ Oh, pretty baby ♪
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♪ Now that I've found you, stay ♪
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♪ And let me love you, baby ♪
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00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,434
♪ Let me love you ♪
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♪ Let me love you, baby ♪
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00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:33,151
♪ Let me love you ♪
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♪ Let me love you ♪
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That's my kind of woman.
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[APPLAUDING]
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[PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE]
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You may not know this,
but I'm really a very sentimental dog.
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I cry easily.
175
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Onions, for instance, always make me cry.
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♪ I'll admit I split bananas ♪
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♪ Take Easter eggs and make them dye ♪
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♪ But I never harmed an onion ♪
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00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:37,507
♪ So why should they make me cry? ♪
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♪ Once I saw a salad dressing ♪
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♪ My face got radish
My, oh, my ♪
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♪ But I never harmed an onion ♪
183
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:54,816
♪ So why should they make me cry? ♪
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♪ Potatoes I've mashed
And berries I've crushed ♪
185
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:03,658
♪ I've made an artichoke
And that's not all ♪
186
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:08,204
♪ I've also whipped cream
And beaten an egg ♪
187
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,542
♪ Yes, I've even made a melon ball ♪
188
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:16,212
♪ Of all the things above I'm guilty ♪
189
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:20,675
♪ If punished, I would know just why ♪
190
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:24,804
♪ But I never harmed an onion ♪
191
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:29,184
♪ So why should they make me cry? ♪
192
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:36,274
♪ Oh, why should they make me cry? ♪
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[CRYING]
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[APPLAUSE]
195
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:52,582
Well, Ruth, I thought we'd just sit here
and chew the fat for a while.
196
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,002
Oh, Kermit, I never chew the fat.
197
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,214
-Uh, yeah, well--
-Uh-uh. No, fat is not good for you.
198
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:04,219
Fat is a no-no.
In fact, every time I see fat, I go blah!
199
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,514
-Yeah, well, I--
-You are looking at a body, Kermit,
200
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,975
that has not one ounce of fat on it.
201
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,603
-Well, yeah--
-This is lean, lean.
202
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,898
El leano, Kermit, my froggy friend.
203
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,484
Yeah, yeah, I can see all that, yeah--
204
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:24,614
Kermit, I had a friend once who chewed
so much fat that she was as big as a house
205
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:30,245
and she decided to rent herself
out as a duplex. Ha-ha-ha!
206
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,751
-You get it, Kermit? A duplex.
-Yeah, Yeah.
207
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,006
A little joke.
208
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,889
I seem to be losing control here.
209
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,685
Ruth. Ruth, what I meant,
when I said all that back there,
210
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,646
what I meant was let's talk a bit.
Let's just talk a bit.
211
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,441
I love to talk, Kermit.
Okay, what'll we talk about?
212
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:03,403
Well, we all know that you hate fat,
but what do you love?
213
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,530
Oh, well, I love to eat.
214
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,783
-But you just said--
-I eat health foods,
215
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:11,661
organic foods, dairy products...
216
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:15,832
Dairy products, no, no. That's a no-no.
Dairy products killed my uncle.
217
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:20,295
-Oh, that's awful.
-Yep, he was hit by a dairy truck.
218
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,799
-That's terrible,
-His last words were:
219
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,053
"Take the cheese off my chest."
220
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,305
Oh, that's awful, Kermit.
221
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,058
Yeah, well, don't blame me,
I didn't write that.
222
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,185
-Oh, it's a joke,
-Yeah, it was just a joke.
223
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,686
That's up to the laugh track.
224
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,063
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
225
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,940
But speaking of laughs, Ruth,
you know, you really tickle me.
226
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,568
-Well, that's how I make everyone laugh.
-How's that?
227
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,320
I tickle them.
228
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,873
-Wonderful,
-Marvelous.
229
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,708
That you should care for me.
230
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,418
-Huh?
-Huh?
231
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,506
Ladies and gentlemen,
now the act you've been waiting for.
232
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:09,219
The man with the fur and the funnies,
our own Fozzie Bear.
233
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,346
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
234
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,600
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mwah, mwah.
235
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:20,897
Love you all. Yeah.
Oh, it's gonna be a great night tonight.
236
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,150
Yeah, somewhere, but not here.
237
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,986
You folks are in for a real treat.
238
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,322
You mean you're finished?
239
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,367
Hey, come on, you guys.
240
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,911
Hey, a lot of these folks wanna see me.
241
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,707
-Well, so do we.
-You wanna see me perform?
242
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,835
-No, retire.
-Ha-ha-ha.
243
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,587
Hey, look, If you don't like me,
why do you come here?
244
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,257
Because you're one of the top comics
in the business.
245
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,718
-In the world.
-In the business world.
246
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:50,802
[BOTH LAUGH]
247
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,431
Look, who's doing this show? You or me?
248
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,058
Well, we're getting all the laughs,
249
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,227
This is my act.
250
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,981
And you're the greatest straight man in
the business. You've never been funnier.
251
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:06,151
-Never.
-Really?
252
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,947
Oh, thank you, you're a wonderful
audience. Kisses. Mwah. Kisses.
253
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,866
Yeah.
254
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,494
-What did we just do?
-His act.
255
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:20,248
-Well, we've never been funnier.
-Ha-ha-ha.
256
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,626
[WOMAN SHRIEKING]
257
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,012
All right. Now, give us the information,
258
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,015
or we have ways of making you talk.
259
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:41,144
Yes, sir,
I'm WAC Lieutenant Jane B. Smithers.
260
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:45,315
First Battalion, Fifth Army.
Based on the far side of the river.
261
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,817
We have over 15,000 troops,
262
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,905
heavily armed with 40 tanks
and three fighter planes.
263
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:56,284
Good, thank you very much. That's
the information we needed. Thank you.
264
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,953
You're very welcome. Now, listen.
265
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:02,791
We have enough food and ammunition
for three weeks. Heh, heh.
266
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,669
The commanding officer's name
is Frank Irving.
267
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,962
He's a gunnery expert
and a former account exec
268
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:11,091
with an ad agency in Philadelphia.
269
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,301
Well, yes, fine.
That should do it. Thank you.
270
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,929
He's 43 years old and has two children.
271
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,973
And he drives a '63 Dodge station wagon.
272
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:21,935
And the pilot flying plane
number one is Mike Kelly.
273
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:25,313
Oh, yes. He's a graduate of West Point
and he wears a toupée.
274
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,315
That's enough! Enough already.
275
00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:30,193
He got three Bs and an A
in his final year.
276
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,946
And he went with the general's daughter
named Maggie.
277
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:36,074
-I don't care.
-Oh, she had a mole on her left shoulder.
278
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,452
I'm warning you.
We have ways of making you stop talking.
279
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,831
Listen. Now, the other pilot
is an expert in decoding,
280
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:47,377
and he is a crack gin rummy player.
I mean, he is really terrific.
281
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,588
Please don't do any more.
Stop. Don't talk.
282
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,966
Please don't talk. Stop it, please.
283
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:03,852
Oh, light of my life, frog in my arms.
284
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,104
At last we are alone.
285
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:11,234
At last you are alone, Piggy. I'm about to
go on-stage in front of a thousand people.
286
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,527
But...
287
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,737
[GASPS]
288
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:19,367
Oh, wretched day for a pig in
her prime to be thus scorned.
289
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,412
Oh.
290
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:27,250
How I long to hear
my love whisper sweet passion.
291
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:31,629
Hiya, good-looking.
Where you been all my life?
292
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,381
-Kermit?
-Mm-hm.
293
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,759
How...? But...
294
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,594
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
295
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,680
Hey, listen, you. Hey, you.
296
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,808
How about you and me getting together
and making some steam heat,
297
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,518
huh, snuggle bunny?
298
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,063
Snuggle bunny? But...
299
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:51,399
Yeah, look.
Let me take you away from all this.
300
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,652
A marriage made in heaven.
A frog and a pig.
301
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:57,781
We could have bouncing baby figs.
302
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:01,201
-Baby figs?
-Sure, let me whisper...
303
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:04,412
Let me whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
304
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,705
Sweet nothings.
305
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:06,915
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
306
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,459
Oh. Oh.
307
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,919
Huh?
308
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,673
Ugh! Ugh!
309
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,800
Yuck!
310
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,678
How dare you say that to a pig!
311
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:24,057
-Uh, Piggy. Piggy, let me explain.
-Oh?
312
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,850
Explain this.
313
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:30,063
[GRUNTING]
314
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:35,819
-Listen, I think you may have dented him.
-I don't...
315
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,697
[SIGHS]
316
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,325
Oh, well. The frog broke her fall.
317
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,077
[CREAKING]
318
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:59,092
I hear your son the hotel
has become interested in religion.
319
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,720
Oh, interested isn't the word.
320
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:06,599
He's seriously thinking
about becoming a monastery.
321
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:13,732
Kermit has asked me to introduce
this week's closing number.
322
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,109
So it is with great pleasure...
323
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:18,862
Excuse me.
Don't pay any mind to me, Miss Buzzi.
324
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,865
I merely stand by,
checking the content of this program
325
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,659
to make sure it is morally above reproach.
326
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,411
-Go right ahead.
-Okay.
327
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:32,417
It is with great pleasure that I present
the Gogolala Jubilee Jug-Band.
328
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,628
That does not sound culturally uplifting.
329
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,634
♪ Well, you can't
Roller-skate in a buffalo herd ♪
330
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,887
♪ You can't roller-skate
In a buffalo herd ♪
331
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:46,890
♪ No, you can't roller-skate
In a buffalo herd ♪
332
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:50,268
♪ But you can be happy
If you've a mind to ♪
333
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,312
♪ All you gotta do
Is put your mind to it ♪
334
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,773
♪ Knuckle down, buckle down,
Do it, do it, do it ♪
335
00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:57,400
♪ You can't go swimmin'
In a baseball pool ♪
336
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,527
♪ You can't go swimmin'
In a baseball pool ♪
337
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,072
♪ No, you can't go swimmin'
In a baseball pool ♪
338
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:05,116
♪ But you can be happy
If you've a mind to ♪
339
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:08,995
[WHOOPS]
340
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,540
[SCATTING]
341
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,043
[WHOOPS]
342
00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:20,298
♪ You can't change film
With a kid on your back ♪
343
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,676
♪ You can't change film
With a kid on your back ♪
344
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:25,095
♪ No, you can't change film
With a kid on your back ♪
345
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:28,014
♪ But you can be happy
If you've a mind to ♪
346
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:30,475
♪ All you gotta do is
Put your mind to it ♪
347
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,852
-♪ Knuckle down, buckle down
-Do it, do it, do it ♪
348
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:35,522
♪ You can't roller-skate
In a buffalo herd ♪
349
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,857
♪ You can't roller-skate
In a buffalo herd ♪
350
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:40,360
♪ No, you can't roller-skate
In a buffalo herd ♪
351
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:44,656
♪ But you can be happy
If this is the end of the song ♪
352
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,703
[WHOOPS]
353
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,081
Pass me that jug over here.
354
00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,085
[CHATTERING]
355
00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:03,883
Time once again to raise
the intellectual level of our program.
356
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:07,095
-It's about time too.
-Just hold it down there, Sam.
357
00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:09,139
Tonight, our distinguished
panel of experts
358
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:11,891
includes our special guest,
Miss Gloria Goodbody.
359
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:14,185
-Thank you,
KERMIT: You're more than welcome.
360
00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:19,149
And tonight we discuss that controversial
topic, "Is the human body obsolete?"
361
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:23,987
I presume the question under discussion
is something to do with the importance,
362
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:29,492
or lack thereof, of the physiological
prowess, in this age of growing technology
363
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:33,747
and ever-escalating
cybernetic engineering.
364
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:38,043
That was wonderful.
365
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,253
I didn't understand it.
366
00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:43,381
Now, actually, actually, everyone,
I was saying
367
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:47,260
that I think we're supposed to be talking
about physical fitness.
368
00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:49,346
-Oh, physical fitness.
-Yes, physical fitness.
369
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:53,141
-Well, I'm fit.
-Let's get physical.
370
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:56,394
-I'm a nut on physical fitness.
-Really?
371
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,522
In fact, I've tried every exercise program
that there is.
372
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:02,400
-Right now, I'm into yoga.
-Yoga?
373
00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:05,320
-Yes, yoga.
-Isn't that that weird sour milk stuff?
374
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:09,949
Oh, no, that's yogurt. This is yoga.
375
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:11,576
What are you doing?
376
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:12,786
[EXHALES]
377
00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:15,705
Doesn't that hurt?
378
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:19,459
KERMIT:
Well, that's about all the time we have.
379
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:20,543
What's going on?
380
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:25,465
Are you all right, Miss Goodbody?
381
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:28,468
Where are you going? There's
supposed to be a discussion here.
382
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:33,306
Oh, listen, listen. That's nothing.
Watch this. This is physical fitness.
383
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:37,977
Wing-ups, One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
384
00:24:38,061 --> 00:24:40,855
-You wanna elucidate?
-Would I?
385
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:44,984
The panel appear to be too busy
to continue the discussion,
386
00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:46,528
but tune in next week,
387
00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:51,533
where our topic will be crowd control
and riot suppression.
388
00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:55,787
-Bravo! Bravo!
-Wonderful.
389
00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:59,582
Well, that's all for tonight.
Thank you all for watching,
390
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:02,711
and special thanks to our
wonderful guest star, Miss Buth Ruzzi.
391
00:25:02,836 --> 00:25:06,339
[HICCUPPING]
Buth Ruzzi, Buth Ruzzi, Buth Ruzzi.
392
00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:11,011
Oh, look at that, I knew this wicked
contraption would break down eventually.
393
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,137
Ah, there.
394
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:15,598
A mere machine could never replace
a real frog.
395
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:18,268
-Aww. You're a nice person, Ruth.
-Thank you.
396
00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:21,312
And I hope we've tickled you
as much as you've tickled us on the show.
397
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,398
-You have, Kermit,
-Right, guys? Huh?
398
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:26,317
-Tickle, tickle,
-Oh, don't! Ha-ha-ha!
399
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:30,488
Hey, join us next week on The Muppet Show.
400
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:33,616
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
401
00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:14,532
-Well, did you like the show?
-No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
31748
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